The Blue Saga

Not a good night. Sigh.

Dream Lucid Dream

I am in a synagogue sitting with a group of people on the floor. It is loud and there are lots of little kids yelling. I randomly notice two sisters. They somehow remind me of Ramona and Beezus from that old book, you know? The younger one, I'll call her Ramona, is blabbing to someone about her sister. The older one, who I'll call Beezus, gets mad and slaps her. Their mother rushes in and is very angry with Beezus, The door to the sanctuary opens and everyone is supposed to go inside. I run to the coatroom for some reason, but end up getting pulled into the sanctuary. It doesn't look like it should: there are scented candles everywhere and the whole layout is changed. Suddenly I am at Ramona & Beezus's house. They are yelling at each other. Then Beezus gets so angry she grabs a vase and hits Ramona over the head with it. The little girl falls to the ground.

Their mother comes in screaming and out of nowhere I am inside a family video. It shows lots of scenes of Beezus and Ramona playing together when they were smaller. Ramona looks beautiful while Beezus is very plain. I realize that it why she was killed. I wake up.

My WILD alarm is going off.I settle back in and start to think of peeling a carrot because it is boring and will put me to sleep. I get the SP and ALMOST make it to my dream, closer than last time! But in the end, I wake up again.

By this time I am quite frustrated because it's 5 in the morning and I'm tired and I'm having WILD problems. I toss and turn for a bit angsting with myself. After about 30 minutes I finally go back to sleep.

I'm in a pool, but it is not a nice pool The water is green and filled with algae. I try to swim but I can't see very well because the water is all murky. There is a bite mark on the edge of the pool. I hear someone say it is because of an alligator. For a second I think I see an alligator swimming around and I freak out, which wakes me up for real this time.

I know I'm a total noob and i shouldn't expect to get my techniques perfect from Day 1, but I can't help being angry at myself. I guess I just don't have any patience.

On another note, why do I always have really morbid dreams? I mean, if you look through, there's always someone dying or drowning or screaming or something. Also, 75% of my dreams have water-related incidents. This can't be a coincidence. Maybe I have a deep fear of water? I don't know. I guess I'll just have to keep plugging away and see if I can figure anything out.