Into the Ether

Notes from a couple nights ago:

Walking in downtown. Sad about recent things. Happy about others. A project I was invested in for the past three months has finally been completed. Knowing it was a temporary project I knew it would end at some point so I was careful about over investing of myself. Yet when all was said and done, my objective completed, I couldn't help but feel the odd emotion of sadness. The people are what I miss. The person I was able to portray, that character is also somebody I will miss.

Now I'm left to my own devices again. Another successful assignment and yet I don't quite understand why I feel the way I do. I was successful. Everything I set out to do has been completed. It was a win. I should be elated and patting myself on the back.

Strangely, I'm not.

That is a lifetime I would enjoy living but again, I can't settle into that lifetime. Any lifetime. I must move on to the next assignment. Must remain unattached.

What comes next is a wave of oddities.

One dream I'm on an airplane disposing of drunken pilots. Another I'm with a friend from the assignment I just completed and entertaining her ideas for being a teacher. Another dream I'm with an old boss and assisting her in building her team and office. Then at another point I'm with that same boss, doing a poor job of driving a vehicle she asked me to drive, running into old men at the bottom of a drive way and then having the car vanish only to have trouble ascending the drive way.