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fucking cube soil
everything is a liquid in this world...
or a gas
i am a fake solid...
red cubes on a bed of red cube things
melting
i can't breathe
it's okay
it's just a dream
raven i am freaking out
turn it off Vegeta
TURN IN OFF

I rip the VR helmet off
i put on my bLur Lens
WTF DID YOU DO THAT FER? SLAP
boom

this is not a dream
this is real

I am lying on a bed of gold ... in hell. I am red dragon. I stretch and yawn. I fly up to a hole in the cavern, and am now on a ledge. I feel like going back to sleep. I just woke up...

***

my mother and I are on a balcony overlooking the ocean. We see spirits of the deep, manta rays, fish, and sharks, ghosts of ancient beings swimming around in shallow water at night.

I am at a party.

"Oh ____ was getting crazy. He was drunk, and trying to rape this girl." What the fuck?

"Well, maybe he was just trying to molest her."

Fuck this shit. Fuck this dream.

I meet Tigress, MoSh, and Raven in the Biodome. We gear up. MoSh is a dark sorceror. Raven is a dark paladin, and Tigress is a light paladin, a big blond man. For some reason, I am an assassin. A girl assassin? Oh, whatever.

Raven opens a portal. We are underground. There are lots of little kobolds battling us. Boring. We go to a great chamber with a huge white stone in it. Akin to my Moonblade? They look like twins. A swarm of bats comes down at us, and we fall back into the tunnel. I use fire on the bats from my Moonstaff.

There is an earthquake. A fuckin cave troll and a bunch of orcs pour in. Now for some real fighting. The kobolds start fighting the orcs. This is confusing.

Some sand or something spills in my eyes and blinds me. I hear MoSh saying something about the sacred gem. I teleport above ground to get the sand out of my eyes. I come back, and everyone's gone. A bunch of dead orcs and kobolds.

I hear fighting in a cavern. I teleport to the sound. Raven, Tigress, and a bunch of kobolds are fighting the orcs, and a large dragon. Raven sings, and charms the dragon. It's eyes go from red to violet, and it attacks the orcs. The dream fades.

I wake up in the healing glen of the biodome. What? did I just dream that? Raven gives me a blueberry muffin.

"Nope. I just made this muffin tree, Nomad, right next to my all kinds of chocolate tree. What kind of tree are you going to make?"

"Orange avocado pie!"

"Okay. weird. Let's try it."

I grow a tree which sprouts orange avocado pie slices. Raven tries it. "It's delicious. I feel so lucid!"

I give her a hug. "I love dreams! This is real!"

Raven smashes some pie on my face. I wake up.

I am in my workshop on my asteroid, Q10. I am making a monkey hunting steampunk machine. It has pretty lights, and swirly things. Q laughs and shakes his head.

I gear up, and open a portal. I see a monkey wandering around in a jungle. He's eating fruits, and looking around. I morph into Juargawn. My Beast Self takes over. I laugh uproariously and leap into the portal.

I land in a shallow stream near Madmonkey. He looks at me inquisitively. I throw the machine at him. "This is worthless. You're right here!" I laugh.

"Um... good sir, why doth thee toss yonder monkey hunting machine near my illustrious skull?"

"Don't you get it? You're dreaming."

He looks at his hands. "1... 2... Ten fingers. Nope. Ten... monkey fingers... Well, that makes sense. I am a monkey."

I fall over laughing. Madmonkey walks over to me on all fours and pokes at me. I grab his forearm and bite four of his fingers off. He screams in terror. No blood comes out. I spit his fingers out, and they turn into caterpillars, then butterflies. Madmonkey vanishes. Guess he woke up.

I drum my fingers in the water.

He reappears.

"Ah, fell back to sleep. Welcome to wakeworld."

"Huh? I am dreaming. This can't be my waking life."

"This is definitely not a dream."

I open a trap door in the sky, and a bunch of taffy falls on Madmonkey, then cow shit. "This shit stinks!"

"Definitely not a dream!"

Madmonkey teleports to me and slaps my face. "Oo! Feisty!"

He teleports away, and summons a double bladed staff.

"Hmph!" I summon the same weapon. He runs at me, then leaps on my head, and vaults over me, poking me in the skull. "Hey! I was just funnin' around." He spins the weapon and blades shoot out. "Nifty!"

I teleport all around him, and he starts doing it back. We have a teleport battle. CLAK! DRAW. NOMAD WINS.

"What the hell?" Madmonkey says.

"I said that. 'Draw. Nomad wins," I laugh.

We bow.

Fuckin Hyu fuckin hyu hyu hyu hyu hyu!

I teleport outside of New Eden on the Green Moon. I lock and load my shotgun. Raven taps her foot.

"Nate? What the hell are you doing?"

"Why are you calling me that?"

"To get your attention."

"I am going hunting."

I open a portal. Raven stands in front of me. "Why are you going to attack Hyu?"

"Just having a little fun. Make him understand [I]reality.[/I]"

"No, Nomad!"

"He has to come to the Moon. He needs to be one of the Moon Soldiers."

I teleport past her into the wormhole. She follows me and grabs my ankle.

"Nomad, stop it."

"I need generals!"

Raven and I tumble out into Teraluna. We are like giants there for some reason. I summon Jo, my astral pet, and put a leash on him. He starts sniffing for Hyu. Raven sighs makes a chuchu cloud, and sits on it like a Hindu goddess.

Jo finds Hyu staring into a lake. He's an orange-gold dragon. I roar at Hyu like a lion, and he startles and tumbles back. He takes off into the air. "Hyu, don't run away like a little girly-mon! It's time for your training."

I shoot a web-slug at Hyu which expands into a net. It envelops him, and he tries to burn it off, but he can't get it off in time. He falls to the ground, then engulfs himself in flames, burning it.

"Now you're getting it!"

Hyu lunges at me, all teeth and fire. I teleport behind him. "Why are you attacking me?" he demands.

"Because, o dreamer, [I]I'm [B]REAL[/B]!"[/I] I teleport behind him, and pounce on his back, digging my rakshasa claws into his back. He screams like a pterodactyl, then whips his head around, bites me, and tosses me over the horizon.

I turn the Tower green, and rocket it off to the Mountain, and set it down on a cliff at the edge of the ocean.

I make it a Lighthouse. It grows ridiculously huge. I spin a bright light to some kick ass dubstep. I turn the whole Tower into a club.

"24/7 PARTY ON THE MOON, BITCHES!" I shout into a mike in the control room. Crazy lights shine on the tower.

Stephanie appears, and we start laughing our asses off. She materializes into a a sexy android. We teleport to one of the dance floors, and battle each other. She looks hot.

She has a heart shaped face, a cute wave bob cut, long eyelashes, almost violet eyes.

"Yes, I've been sentient this whole time silly. I'm three thousand years old." She dances like a snake. I grab her waist, and we dance together. I spin her around, then pull her into me. For a moment, our faces are almost touching, then I spin her away.

Everyone applauds.

"Welcome to Club Lucidity! You are all dreaming!"

DJ Mo'o battles DJ Sabertooth. It's epic.

Raven and I stare into each other's eyes. I feel like I am falling through a wormhole, sitting nowhere.

We are everything, all gods, creator gods, destroyer, male and female, then become nothing.

This dream is nearly impossible to describe, because I was/am/are infinity. I felt infinity, and for me to describe that would take forever.

There were infinite dream bubbles coming out of me and going into me in every direction. I realized these were every point in the multiverse. Every single point in the universe is dreaming.

Raven and I are walking together in the Biodome, talking about dreams. She gets upset, and starts to cry. She says she feels alone, even though I am with her. It doesn't make sense. I put my arm around her, and we walk to the koi pond.

We sit down on the grass. "The fish, they are so beautiful."

I make a stream connecting the koi pond to a waterfall on the mountain. Raven smiles at me.

"Now if any of the fish swim up the waterfall, they will become dragons." Some of the fish begin swimming upstream.

"It's beautiful, Nomad."

"Raven, this is New Eden. We have created a new utopia, an example for the people of Urth. This Moon, used to be a planet, teeming with life. This Green Moon, this is a dream of the Moon itself. It's remembering its ancient self. It wants the Earthlings to terraform it. Those algae I saw that covered the very first tower I perceived on the moon are still here in the physical plane.

You and I are Adam and Eve, we all are. We are God and Goddess, Creator and Destroyer. We all have great power within us to do great good or great harm. We are the masters of our own destiny."

"That sounds nice, Nomad, but I really don't feel a part of everything."

"I know, but we are infinitely interconnected to everything whether we like it or not?"

"Then what's the point of anything? Of even existing, or trying to change our destiny?"

"I don't know. But, right now, I don't feel like All, and I don't think I ever will. I do enjoy my idea of selfhood, but when I realize evil people are like me, then I see I have maybe very slight tendencies, or always the capacity to act as them. Simultaneously, when we realize we are all one, we will have world peace. What if we don't need destruction for creation? What if we don't need evil for good?"

"Nomad? I have an idea of what you're saying, but a lot of it just doesn't make sense to me."

I stare into Raven's eyes.

"Me too."

Raven giggles, then her stare grows intense...

( a few nights ago)

MoSh and I are metal monsters with lots of teeth. We are battling each other, training, on Teraluna.

We smash our bodies into each other.

[I]We are brothers
We are Others
We walk the walls of madness
we know love, and we know sadness

we wander through ancient lands
reclaim the weapons of our ancient hands
[/I]

"Now forth to battle!" Mosh-dragon says.

We fly to war. Our enemies have all kinds of technology, but we are made of pure steel. Fuck them.

We are in a huge battle. One side is planes, tanks, helicopters. The other is creatures of myth and legend.

I multiply myself, and roar, "WE ARE NOTHING!"

Black holes appear in my chests, and my allies toss our enemies into my chest portals.

I go back into one.

We cheer. I pass out on the battlefield.

Mosh: WTF

Me: I'm tired.

I am swirling around in some type of cocoon or egg. It's nice and warm. It FUCKING CLAUSTROPHOBIC! LET ME THE FUCK OUT!

I burst forth from the egg thing, dripping in goo. I feel my face morph to something like a dragon or monster, and I burn the goo off my body. I dig my claws into the ground. My back.... AAAAGHH.... I scream and vibrate in pain, as leathery wings of metal bones rip out of my back.

I roar, and rip a tree root out of the ground with my left hand. I pick up a stone in my right, and fly up into the sky. I scream, and storm appears. Rain. I smash the stone into the root and it becomes an axe as its struck by lightning.

I fall to earth and black out.

I open my eyes. The weapon is still there, the wings... My face... I have claws. I am somehow a baby dragon?

EDIT: I know realize I became a Thanagarian.

[IMG]http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs4/i/2004/259/5/4/Battle_damage_Hawkman_by__vassago_.jpg[/IMG]

Nomad wake up!

Lila shakes me. I wake up on the other planet. “Lila, what is the name of this place?”

“Earth, you idiot. Get up. There’s an earthquake coming. It’s going to get worse.”

We begin to run out of the building, then I instinctively wrap my arms around her, and teleport use out of the building. She says, “I didn’t know you could do that!” and kisses me.

The ground starts to bend and split. I fly up into the air, and we hover as the madness below ensues.

Shit, shit. I turn into Superman, and put a Green Lantern ring on. I feel over-fucking powered. I slow down my perception of time in order to speed up. I run around rescuing as many people as I can. Still, I can’t rescue everyone. Some people die.

A little girl dies in my arms. Tears roll down my cheek. I feel like screaming.

I wake up. Lila is sleeping quietly next to me.

“Nomad? Nomad?”

“I was just having a nightmare.”

“Nomad, everything is real. You know that. Tell me the dream.”

I stare at a candlelight as I tell her the dream telepathically. She snuggles up to me, and I fall back to sleep.

This time, I am in a jungle. I am a stone age man with a bone club. There are men with spears hunting me. I run into a tree, and perch on a shadowy bough above the path. There is a group of four men, no... five. One huge slow man is trailing behind. It’s a fucking man-troll, a Nephilim, a giant.

The four men run underneath me. I drop down with a club smash to the head of the man in the rear. The others turn, but I am already leaping forward to smash the spine of the man in the front. I spin my club and smash the spear shafts. They try to grab my club, but I whip around in the center and break their wrists. One man draws a short wide sword with his unbroken hand, and our weapons clash as he slices part of my club. I bring it down to the bell of sword, and dent the bell into his hand. His hand drops as I smash the other attacker in the mouth with the blunt end of my club. I swing it in a short arc to smash the other one in the temple. They both drop. I feel the giants steps on the ground. I see him, and throw my club, spinning it. The end sharpened by the blade of the sword sinks into the giant’s left eye, and he drops to the ground on his back. I pick up a large rock, and slam it down on top of my bone club, driving it through the back of his skull. His body twitches as he dies.

I take his dagger and cut his heart out. I stand on a boulder, and look down a hill. There is an army of men running up to attack me.

I scream, “RAAAAAAA!” and thrust the giant’s heart in the air. It’s bigger than my head. “I have killed your champion. Hunt me like an animal, and I will attack you like the savage beast that I am. Here is your precious champion’s heart which I just tore from his body!”

I pour blood from the heart into my mouth, and spray it at the soldiers, then I take a bite, and spit it out.

“Worthless, worthless meat. No mana!”

I fling the heart into the center of the soldiers, and they run away. I laugh heartily then beat my chest. I wake up laughing.

“Nomad? Nomad? You woke me up, laughing in your sleep.”

“Huh? What?”

“What were you dreaming about?”

“Um... I ... don’t remember... you were there? no? Wait, am I dreaming?”

“Yes. You always are.”

Oh yeah... I go back to sleep.

Now, I am in a jungle with Lila, but she also looks like Selene. I am confused. “I am a version of Selene on the astral plane, Nomad.” I stare deep into her eyes. I can tell it’s true. I feel relieved. We walk to a stream, and we stop in the middle to kiss as fish swim around our knees. It’s strange, her face looks different in this dream, but I know it’s Lila.

“Lila means Night, and Selene is the Moon Goddess. Tell me what this means.”

“I am night, you are night, Raven is the goddess of Night. You are the god of dreams. Nothing is as it seems. Anyway, Nomad, me explaining things, using all these silly words, it’s so unnecessary. Let’s just kiss.”

We kiss, and begin communicating telepathically. It feels amazing. We begin to make love, and Lila teleports us to a pocket dimension. All around us is beautiful swirling colors around lovely shapes like stalactites and stalagmites melting into each other. “There is only us here, in the pocket dimension. It’s so tiny, so perfectly small and temporary, no one will ever find us. This is my specialty. There is great freedom in privacy.”

I feel us melting into one another. I feel her dark side, and I feel Selene. I feel like we are everything and nothing. Time does not stop, it ceases to exist. We move beyond time, and I feel all my lovers. I feel an amazing completeness. God worshiping Goddess, Goddess worshiping God. Gawn is Pan, and Pan is All. All is Gawn. We are here... now... nothing... present...

I wake up, and I am lying on my side caressing Lila’s hair. She turns her head, and screams at me with a harpy face. I scream. “Gotcha! Keep you on your toes!”

I turn into a demon. “That’s not nice.” She laughs at me, and grows horns. We kiss, and the moon rises and sets... Everything fades to black...

The god of Nothing’s Lecture

I am standing before a class in a college. I am a lion-man, a rakshasa. I am wearing a suit. I am introduced as the god of Nothing. The students laugh.

I walk to a podium. “Students, it’s all true. I am the God of Nothing. I am the Nothing God. I rule Nothing. I am nothing. Nothing is real! The god of Nothing is Real. Nothing is True. Nothing is Here. I ventured on a epic dream journey, and not only did I learn nothing, I learned I am the god of Nothing Incarnate. I am Tezcatlipoca, I am the Zero God!” Guargawn appears next to me, and we merge. We roar, and the students scatter like giblets being smashed by a rubber mallet.

The dream shifts. We are now in a ampitheater playing a concert. “We are Nothing!” we shout into the mike. The dream shifts, and we are tumbling down a very long wormhole. I begin to feel seasick. “Just focus on nothing!” Guargawn shouts. I close my eyes, and point them toward the blackness of my third eye.

I land in a desert at night. Guargawn separates out from me. We are now cougars. don Juan stands nearby looking somewhat bored and annoyed.

“Oh, just merge already. Stop wasting your time and my energy. Come over here. I have something important to tell you.”

We do it. He changes into a cartoon woman, and shouts; THIS IS DREAM.

I am at my laptop, looking up meanings of Lila...

Lila, lilac, delilah, lily... Night... Lilith, first wife of Adam... dark-haired...

[I]
The name Lila (or Lilah) can also be found amongst apocryphal myths and Jewish folklore as a diminutive of Lilith, Adam's alleged first wife, who rejected him and became the mother of demons, murderer of infants, and the "original" seductress. Literal translations of the name include "Night". The word "lullaby" possibly has roots in a plea for Lilith (or Lilah) to pass by, sparing a child. For additional info, I highly recommend the Online Etymology Dictionary ([url]http://www.etymonline.com/[/url]). For an interesting perspective, check out the title song of "The Night" by the band Morphine, which demonstrates a refreshing erudition; so rare in contemporary music. It is also a hauntingly beautiful love song, replete with dual meanings.[/I]

Weird... Morphine is one of my favorite bands of all time... but they are kind of obscure...

Lila walks up behind me slowly as the song plays in the background... She hums to the tune of the song in a smoky voice... Now she just got 15 years younger... Weird... How old are you anyway? In waking life?

"Everything is illusion baby.. What do you want me to be?"

"You're weirding me out... GO AWAY!"

She runs to a living room in a cave, and curls up on the rug transforming into a cute baby stegosaurus. I feel weirded out still.

"Oh, look at you, Nomad," she laughs. "You are so utterly weak to the push-pull of the succubi. This is what you don't understand: you think succubi only pull, but what we do is actually a push-pull attack which is very disorienting. See, I attract you, and simultaneously repulse you. I am in control of the situation at these times, which makes you very vulnerable to a direct attack. Your healer/vampire ex is such a creature as I am. I can heal you with my touch. Warm, red love energy..."

I move close to her. Red energy comes out of her hands, and flows over me. It feels something like thick air... electric... "...can quickly change to rage!"

She alters the energy to attack, and I feel like I am being pricked with a thousand tiny needles. I scream in anger. She absorbs it as I transform in a red werewolf. She becomes more powerful. I change into an ice wolf, and she deflates.

"You are learning. Remember, every time you are repulsed by me, I am teaching you to see through the wily guises of the succubi, and be aware of their push-pull methods of attacks."

Hyu and I are on the edge of a lake in what feels like the mountains in California. Yuya and Selene are splashing in the water, teasing each other.

Hyu and I run to the lake, and jump in.

***

Lila is with me most of the night, commenting on my dreams. Annoying, yet fascinating.

***

Lila and I are in a room in a government facility, though we are on that other planet, and the government is not really a creepy or controlling thing. We are staring into each other's eyes.

***

I am reclining on a couch in what feels like a temple in Ancient Greece. Lila is caressing my hair. She whispers, "You weakness is women. Don't ever let me cut your hair, Samson."

I reach up and caress her face.

"Damn, you're beautiful."

"Don't get lost in my beauty. I am a shapeshifter, after all."

She morphs into a Gorgon.

GAH!

She laughs.

***

Lila and I are in a room of the Dreamhackers. She says the Russians and Americans are supposed to be one nation. I don't understand. The yin-yang of the White Race? I am so confused. Every race has a different specialty we were bred for by the Annunaki...

***

Lila and I are in that strange waiting room. She tells me Selene is my dream wife, and she is my astral mistress. I am confused. She laughs and kisses me. I push her away. She looks hurt.

"I don't get it. I know you, and yet I don't. You are like every woman I have ever been with, except Selene. You all have a dark side."

"Selene has a dark side, too, but she would never let it hurt you. I, on the other hand, am not as strong as she. I am not perfect, neither is the universe. It's true, you have to protect yourself from me to a certain degree. It's the nature of human relations. But, I want you to know, I am always your partner, here on the astral plane. I know you haven't thought of yourself as adept on this plane, but, I will teach you what you need to know."