The Nomad Chronicles

I am walking somewhere, wearing jeans, freeballing it.

I fart. No, I sharted. Did I? I grab the back of my jeans. Shit.

My cousin, Ciera, says, "Something fell out of your pants." [I]OH MY GOD. I AM MORTIFIED![/I]

I turn around. I see some things on the ground. She picks them up. "Your wallet and your keys." Ok....

"Oh, and there's a poop on the ground too."

I see what looks like a spiral doggy doo. I pooped my pants! But, wait, my fart was so powerful it made my wallet and keys fall out? Did those things come out of my butt?