non-lucid

My dream was staged in an old barn next to a farm house. I was inside the barn with some old friends from years ago, and for whatever reason they felt they needed to kill me. It was a very calm atmosphere, nobody seemed rushed to get the job done or anything. I had the impression that I knew something I wasn't suppose to or something, so they felt I had to go. I said I would cooperate since there was no reason to struggle (I felt I didn't have a chance). I asked them how they were going to do it. There was a square pool in the floor by the wall of the barn and they said I had to jump in and they would hold my head underwater. I was mortified! They couldn't think of a less painful/terrifying way?? I told them I thought that was a terrible idea and they stopped smiling and acting so carefree. I knew they had done this to people in the past and felt that it was an easy way to go. I told them I didn't want to die (I was terrified of being drowned!) and they just said it needed to be done. I tried reasoning with them saying that since I knew what they had done it made me a party to what had happened, so they had no need to kill me...I was just as responsible as they were for not telling anybody about their guilt (I still wasn't sure what they had done, I just didn't want to die). They weren't buying it, so I started crying. I was really getting scared. They started to seem a little hesitant, and my one friend (Emil) had left, so I felt the remaining two wouldn't be able to pull it off (Jon and Chris). I'd always been closer to them, so maybe they would let me go. After a while Jon approached me and told me not to worry. He had thought of something that just might work so they might not have to kill me after all.

They eventually decided they didn't need to kill me, but I still felt like they might change their mind. I knew I needed to leave the farm but I didn't feel I could leave without my school books. I was now outside of the barn and my books were inside by the pool. I was afraid to go inside and have them change their mind. I saw a girl from my class in her car and almost asked her to go in with me so I'd have a witness and have less of a chance of anything happening, but then I thought that I'd feel really bad if they just ended up killing her too. She drove away before I could ask her.

At some point my friend Shawn came up to me and said that they had worked it out and they wouldn't kill me if I could give them $400 a week. I told him that was impossible, I don't have that kind of money! He just looked at me disappointed and I felt they were thinking of killing me again. I told him I could give them what I could, but $400 wasn't possible. I knew as soon as I got away I was going to tell someone what was going on out here, and I felt that they were beginning to sense that about me. I kept talking trying to make it sound like I was really going to pay them what I could. He didn't look convinced.

At some point it was dark and I was in the field around the farm. I knew they were looking for me. I tried to keep low beneath the crops (don't know what kind, but very short) so they wouldn't see me. I saw my friend Kelly's car in the field in front of me, and I knew if I could just get to that I would be ok. I kept running real low and I could hear them behind me. They were telling me to stop and getting closer. When I got to the car I had to unlock it to get inside and I was trembling I was so scared. I finally made it in and locked the doors just as they reached me. I could see their shadows in the darkness surrounding the car. My hands were shaking and I was fumbling with the keys to get away. I heard it turn over but it didn't sound like it caught. I gunned it anyway and the car shot forward. I was afraid they might have guns but they didn't shoot at me. I kept driving as fast as I could, but it was hard to see because Kelly had this huge notebook hanging from her windshield so I couldn't see through it very well. Then I realized that I was in the backseat and she was driving, so it shouldn't matter if I could see anyway, but somehow I knew that it did.

Suddenly I was at home, but I was my friend Kelly. I was going to call Amy (me) to see what we should do about the whole situation. I knew they would be looking for us and we weren't safe. I called her (me) on the phone and asked if Mandy was there (nobody calls me Mandy, it's Amy). My voice on the other line said to call me Amy and we continued our conversation. We apparently didn't know each other very well yet since she didn't know what to call me, and we were still in high school in my dream. I (Kelly) said that I thought we should tell somebody about what had happened and turn them in. Amy said that she didn't think that we should. She felt that if we didn't say anything it would prove that we didn't plan to and they would eventually realize that we were no risk and stop trying to kill us. I didn't agree with this at all. I didn't know how to convince her that they wouldn't stop until we were dead.

All I remember after that is being in my old bedroom at my parents old house and wondering what to do. It was a really scary dream. I don't think I've had a dream like that in a pretty long time, and I don't think I've ever had a dream where I ended up being somebody else talking to myself as another person.

I don't remember a lot about the dreams I had last night, but I remember the essence of them. I stayed home from work last night to study and went to bed a little early, so last night just seemed to be everything I needed it to be for the moment.

I went to bed around 11 pm and fell asleep within an hour (pretty quick for me). I woke up a few times during the night and each time I remembered parts of the dreams I was having.

Most of my dreams were about studying for my test, which is very helpful for today! This has happened in the past, even to the point where I'm reading my notes and they look exactly as they do in real life when I check after waking. When I woke up today I felt refreshed and, while reviewing before class this morning, have found that I know the material much more clearly today

Another dream that I remember is being sent to a building by my instructor for some sort of interview. It wasn't for a job, it was more for practice and information on the career I was heading for. When I got there, there were two middle aged women behind the counter in the Human Resource department (where I was suppose to go). They asked how they could help me and I told them I was sent for an interview by my instructor. This seemed to cheer them up somehow and they were suddenly eager to talk to me. They had worked in the career that I'm studying for and had enjoyed it. They were teaching in the building we were currently in (apparently it was a school). They asked what I liked/disliked about it and I told them the truth (I don't love it but don't hate it). I sometimes get confused if this is the right career choice for me. I told them that I don't really feel that I want to pursue a career in the field I'm currently studying, but that I want to continue my education to pursue a specific career that involves further study. They seemed excited about my choice and fully supported my decision. They gave me the impression that it would be a good choice for me. I was feeling really good and I knew it was about time to go. They started talking about other matters; one of the students kept parking in one of the teacher's parking spaces and it was becoming a problem. I thanked them for the interview and turned to leave.

When I woke up this morning, I looked at my alarm clock and the number was just turning to 1 minute before my alarm would go off. I smiled. My dreams seemed to give me everything I needed to help me with the day and then I awake just before my alarm goes off feeling rested and happy. I feel prepared for my test and I feel a little better about the career I'm studying for.

It was a good night

The first dream I remember is only a small part. I was at a funeral with my husband and everyone was very serious and quiet. They were serving cake and my husband cut a bigger slice for himself because he was excited about eating this cake. He put it on a paper plate and someone warned him to put it on a thicker plate before he picked it up but he didn't listen. As soon as he picked it up it fell off his plate to the floor. I'm not sure why but I thought this was so hilarious that I couldn't stop laughing. I was laughing so hard I was crying, and even though I knew it was inappropriate for the atmosphere, I really couldn't stop laughing! I actually woke myself up because I was laughing slightly in my sleep.

When I fell back to sleep I had a dream that I was at my dad's farm (my dad has never had a farm, and the man in my dream wasn't anything like my real dad). He lived there alone so I don't know what was suppose to have happened to my mom. Anyway, a large group of friends were there with me for some event (which I can't remember now). I remember it had something to do with my dad because I was looking for him; I knew he had to be somewhere on the property. Somehow I knew he wasn't there, but my dream self kept looking for him anyway. I didn't want to start whatever it was we were doing without him.

I went to go in the house with two other people to look for him there and the weather shifted. It got really windy, but I don't remember the trees moving or anything. It was hard to open the front door the wind was so strong and we were fighting to get inside. I hoped everyone further in the yard could make it inside too but I didn't see how they would be able to. I wanted to help them but I knew there was nothing I could do.

We finally made it inside and when we looked out the windows on either side of the house (two sides like East/West or North/South, not sure which) both horizons were red like they were burning with fire. It was dark outside so it was easy to see this fiery red color coming up on either side. We knew it was coming closer and I couldn't think of what could create such a thing, but it was scary to think about. I felt like we were going to die, but I tried to remain calm and do what I could to be safe. I didn't really know where the safest place to be was, though, since I'd never seen anything like this before.

One of the friends that came in with me started freaking out about her brother and his friends being in the basement and they needed to be upstairs. She was nearly hysterical. I didn't even give myself time to think, I just started running to the basement stairs to get them. On the way down it started getting darker and the walls seemed to get narrower and I really started getting scared. What if I got trapped down here? I kept having this image of the walls caving in on me and being trapped and I knew I had a long way to go to reach them so I turned around and went back upstairs. I was a little ashamed that I didn't try harder to reach them, but I didn't want to share their fate if they got trapped underground.

When I got back upstairs everyone that had been outside was in the house now. They were all worried and huddling in different areas of the house. We must have been there for a while because people were getting hungry. Since it was my dad's house and I knew where everything was, I tried finding food for them. For some reason the food was in the highest cabinets in the kitchen and I wasn't tall enough to reach them, so I had to pull out drawers to use as a ladder to get up to it. I pulled down some lunch meat and other food items (somehow still good even though not refrigerated) for people to eat. I started crawling on a ledge by the ceiling to get to other cabinets and I could see that the red color was closer in the windows. It was daylight now but the glow was still really bright and getting closer. As I was up there I heard a deep rumbling sound and I asked everyone to be quiet so I could hear what it was. Someone even unplugged the refrigerator so I could have complete silence. Being that high I was able to hear what that red glow sounded like. I didn't know if it was suppose to be voices or something else, but it sounded like a bunch of low/baritone voices letting out one continuous "ahhhh" or "mmmmmm" sound (something between those two sounds?). Almost like a chant or meditative sound, but it was a little eerie since I didn't know what it was.

I don't remember what happened in between, but at some point they were at the farm house. I don't remember a very good picture of what they looked like, but I have a vague feeling of them being very large, round, and unsmooth for lack of a better word (not hairy or spikey, but not smooth). I vaguely remember seeing them lined up in a row (inside that red glow) coming towards us from a distance from the windows, but once they were there it was more just a feeling of their presence since I never really saw them otherwise.

I remember watching a little girl talk to them. She was maybe about 7 or so and had long blonde hair and blue eyes. She was holding something but I can't remember what it was (maybe a doll or something?). Anyway, she was standing by a mirror to communicate with them. She would look at them to talk to them (there was nothing at the place she would look at when she talked to them) and when they would talk to her she would turn to face the mirror and talk to herself. I knew they were talking through her since they couldn't talk directly to her. They would more or less take over her body in a way and have her face herself in the mirror and speak so she was speaking to herself (her voice never changed, so it always sounded like her voice). When they were finished, she would turn and address them behind her with an answer to their question. She didn't seem afraid so much as just unsure of the situation.

Then it jumps to me being outside and these beings have been there for some time. The world is a little chaotic and change is everywhere. I was walking alone and I was a little afraid/unsure of everything. I was scared of all of the change and wondering how things were going to be. I was also worried about my own thoughts.

Apparently these beings were here to stay and they wanted us to be a peaceful people since they were peaceful. They were very slow and methodical in their work. Anyone that tried to harm them or anyone else instantly died. It wasn't a gory or painful death that I remember, it's like they just stopped living. There were mounds of dirt all over by this city full of dead bodies (mass graveyards). I was afraid that if I had a negative thought toward somebody they might kill me too. I din't think that's how it worked, I think it was true harmful intent that they wouldn't tolerate, and deep down I knew this, but I still worried about it a little. I remember seeing someone pick up a gun with intent to kill these beings and they suddenly just fell over dead. I knew they could just take over your body so there was no possible way to fight back. I remember thinking the only people left alive would be people that were inherently peaceful/good and people that could change/adapt to being peaceful/good. This seemed it should be a good thing, but I didn't feel very good about it. It seemed strange that they would go around killing people that weren't peaceful...that wasn't a very peaceful way to act. I also felt that some of those people picking up guns to fight were just scared so their intent to kill was just in self defense, so it's not like they would normally have harmful intention. It didn't feel right.

That was the last thing I remember, having that thought and wondering if I was going to be ok.

In my dream, I bought a new house. My husband was still living in our old house until we sold it, but I was going to live in this one until he could join me. Our two dogs and two cats were there with me. He was there after I first bought it, with some friends, to check it out and see what it was like. It was two stories and very spacious. Most houses I dream of have doors that don't lock very well and it makes me afraid that someone might break in, but this one was a very secure house, with secure doors that lead to a screened in porch with another set of secure doors, so it felt very safe. I also remember thinking it felt more solidly built than our last house, so maybe it would be warmer (less drafty). The siding was very old and you couldn't tell if it was suppose to be green, yellow, or gray, so I knew I'd want to replace that eventually, but it was fine for now. The backyard was up against a field, so it was nice to only have neighbors on two sides for a change. There was an old gravel road that led to the back of the house, but it didn't look like it had been used in a while. My only concern was putting in a fence for the dogs and if we could put the fence through the road. I didn't think it would be a problem, though, since it only went to our house and nowhere else. At first Paul and our friends didn't like the back yard, they said it was too small, but after really looking they noticed the whole side lot was ours as well so it was pretty spacious and nice.

I noticed a dog in the house that didn't belong to us. It was medium size, brown and black in color, and very muscular and mean. It kept trying to bite everyone, specifically me. My sister was there as well to see the house and she commented on the dog. I said it was left from the previous owners so I had to figure out what to do with it. I was thinking of taking it to Tails or something because I was really afraid of it. It kept nipping at me and it really hurt!

To try and appease my sister, I decided to try to be nice to the dog. I went to pet it and it latched onto my hand and kept growling at me. I tried to pull the teeth apart and talk soothingly to it and it slowly started to let go, but it still wasn't sure of me. Eventually it let me pet it and it calmed down. Now it was a very tiny white dog and I wondered why I had been so afraid of it; it was clearly just afraid of me because it didn't know anybody in the house and it lived here before we did. The fur felt kind of yarny, so I knew it needed a bath. It looked neglected. I picked it up and carried it around with me. I realized it probably hadn't eaten in a while, and when I went to rub its belly it had a small plastic bowl (like a prepackaged meal) tucked away in there. It came with a little plastic fork and everything. I tried to feed it but it wouldn't eat for me. I also noticed a small dropper, dog teeth cleaning utensils, and other things to take care of a dog, so she looked high maintenance, but I was really starting to love her.

I remember trying to take the dogs outside to see if they had to go potty, but it was difficult since the whole yard wasn't fenced. I had to get them to this small penned in area and then none of them would go. My dog Bailey just laid down and looked depressed and I felt bad because I know she loves to run and she couldn't here. I'd have to get a fence soon.

At some point I finally figured out how to feed the dog that wasn't mine. I had to give her some milky formula with that dropper (only 4 drops), and then hand feed her little pieces of soft food with that little fork. She wouldn't eat if you just put it in a bowl in front of her. I realized she had been really spoiled and I really had my work cut out for me with this one, but I was willing to do it for her.

Suddenly nobody was there except me, the three dogs, two cats, and my two kids (which I don't have kids). They were older, one was maybe around 8 and the other maybe around 6? I think both were girls but I'm not sure now. We were trying to figure out what to do with the house first. It had a lot of windows but no curtains, so we needed curtains. I knew it would be expensive and I had a tight budget, so we would probably have to start with super cheap curtains. I knew we could at least do the kitchen and living room, the rest of the house might have to wait.

The walls needed to be painted, and the kitchen had this awful, old, flowery wall paper that needed to come down. I remember wondering if I could just paint over it, but knew that was a bad idea. I told my kids that we had to figure out paint color and curtain color, and they had to go good together, so we had a lot to think about. They were excited and eager to help. I was happy and having a good time. I knew I'd get the fence first too, even if it meant taking out a small loan; it was important that my dogs were happy.

That's about all I remember right now. I woke up early today, so no alarm.
Side note: I start back to school today and I haven't been looking forward to it. Not quite dreading it, but just having feelings of being unsure of my major and so on. Maybe the dog represents my fear of my decisions? Maybe I just need to follow through and I'll find that I like it regardless of my fears? Just a thought....

I'm realizing that I don't remember my dreams as well as I used to, so I'm going to have to start at the beginning again on this site.

Somewhere in the middle of the night I had a dream that me and some cousins were walking around a large mall. It looked pretty high class somehow. As we were walking past some windows for a shop I saw my two aunts, another lady that I recognized at the time (but can't remember now) and my Mom sitting in some salon chairs getting the gray died out of their hair. I walked in and they were so happy to see us! It's almost comical how happy they were to see us. I can't remember now what was said, but we didn't stay long. I think my cousin Sara was asking about the technique that they died their hair because it was covering the gray so well and she wanted to try it for her hair (she's younger than me and has no gray so this makes no sense). I woke up after some point and remembered more than this, but this is all I remember now.
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This morning I woke up remembering part of a dream where I was at work (not really my work). I was driving around a grocery store suppose to be picking up packages at the registers (I guess I was suppose to be dock attendant, but at a grocery store?). All the registers were clean though, so there was nothing to pick up. I started cleaning up garbage instead; old cups half full of water/pop that I had to dump out, half eaten bags of chips/cookies, ect. I found a few bags of chips and a packaged donut that weren't opened yet, so I kept those for a snack some other time.

I also remember at some point in this dream watching a girl with blonde hair talk to a man that she had a crush on. He was intentionally being mean to her telling her that the girl he was seeing was better than her; that the girl he was talking to was stupid and fat and so on. I knew he only said these things because he liked her and was trying to talk himself out of liking her. That girl wasn't phased by it though, she knew he was just being a jerk. She had gone to school and worked in medicine, she wasn't overweight, and she spoke several different languages, so she was pretty confident in who she was. That's all I remember about that though.
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This morning I had several glimpses of images/dreams as I woke up and drifted off again. I remembered them when I woke up and tried to hang on to them to write them down, but it seems I've lost them now.

Not sure of the date…June or July 2011?

I realize that I’m dreaming. I’m in a house, the tv is really loud and I feel like I have to concentrate to reach my goal (get where I want in my dream), but the tv is too loud and I can’t concentrate. I try going into another room but there’s another tv or stereo that’s too loud in that room too. I decide to go outside. It’s night time and there are kids dressed in costumes roaming the streets. My place is off a paved alley and I go out a door that leads to this. There are people out on both sides of my place.

I try to sit and meditate on my goal (to visit the teacher I saw in another dream), but some kids stop by and interrupt me. They ask about my hair (it’s long and pulled back in a low pony tail). One boy says he fell from a tree and I see scratches on his upper back and ask him if it happened today. He says that yes it happened today, and I tell him it’ll get better. I start thinking that maybe it’s more important to interact with the people here than to try and be someplace else. (*in the house and outside there are people reading books which seems odd on Halloween somehow. I say to myself “well, you only water flowers after they’re dry.”)

I start walking around town. It’s sunny out now and I try to fly, but it’s difficult. A lady sees me and is trying to catch up with me but I recognize her and know she’s a talker and will drive me off course, I may even forget that I’m dreaming, so I try to avoid her. I see a guy and use him as an excuse not to talk to her (I fly to him all clumsy). He seems to be an old friend or something, or I know him somehow, and we start to dance to pretend I’m busy (not too slow but not real fast, dancing apart from one another).

Somehow I accidentally hit his head or something and some girl sees me do this and she gets all upset. I just want to get away. They trick me and arrest me for hurting my friend. I know they’re going to whip me at least twice to see if I bleed. My hands are bound behind my back and there are people all around judging me. If I bleed that means I’m guilty of trying to hurt him, otherwise God wouldn’t let me bleed. I’m scared but I know that I’m dreaming…how come I can’t leave?! Even if I’m dreaming this is real enough that I can’t seem to change it. I know the whipping will hurt as if it were really happening. A man stands up and says I didn’t even leave a mark or something along those lines, and he wants this to stop. They ask the man that I accidentally hit on the head if this is correct, if it was an accident, and he nods his head. They all agree and let me go. The man I hit looks like an old man now.

I walk away and I find myself inside my house again. I think how it feels no different than ordinary reality, and this somehow disappoints me. It seems like it should feel different here, maybe it is all reality. I run my fingers along a couch and feel how solid and real it is. The textures feel so real against my fingers. I still haven’t reached my goal and so much time has passed already.

I go outside and lay in partly in the street and partly in the grass. I look over and see my dog Bailey lying beside me. I reach out and touch her and am amazed that she’s here in this dream with me. Is she really? Or is this just another part of my brain putting her there? I look at the stars and ponder on this. I think about how earlier in the day, when I tried to fly, I was afraid of going too high again. When I started to get higher I couldn’t stop and it scared me so I would will myself back down to the ground again, and it would continue in this clumsy way. This is usually what happens to me in my dreams when I try to fly. So I begin to wonder if I just let go and let myself go higher if it would take me where I want to go. Then it hits me…I just need to rise up and not be afraid and I can reach my goal.

I think I want to rise! My whole body moves up to toward the stars (very bright, constellations connect with lines somehow). I try not to be afraid. My body is buzzing inside. I think that I want to see my teacher again, then change my mind and think that I want to visit myself again.

I end up in front of a white house that‘s shaped like a barn. It’s daylight, and it looks like the barn I saw in the dream I last had where I met myself (only then it was night). I go up to the door and ring the doorbell, which is above the doorway. The door is arched at the top and there are three buttons above it which are triangular. I hit one for the doorbell. I don’t wait for someone to answer the door since I don’t know how much time I have left, so I just walk inside. A family is inside, all adults, and I ask to see Amy. They look upset that I’m there. A young lady is leaning on the arm/back of a couch looking at me and a man of about the same age sits on the couch looking at me disapprovingly.

A motherly figure walks to the door. Amy appears before they can respond. She has a big smile on her face, and it’s my face! She hugs me and tells everyone that I came back! She says lets go somewhere else. As we leave I comment on their disapproval and she says that they were hoping that I wouldn’t come back. She has kind of a stuffy attitude somehow; seems kind of down or unhappy and seems almost masculine somehow. I jump on her back as a piggy back ride and give her a hug telling her it’s ok, that everything will be ok now. She smiles.

We go into a barn room thing. It has the feeling of a house, but it’s an outer building on the property. There are lots of shelves with things on them and some chairs. I say first things first, I want to ask her something in case my time runs out and I have to leave suddenly. I’m so indecisive about things and I want to check my feelings against hers since we’re part of each other, almost the same person…does she want a baby? She frowns and shakes her head saying no. She looks upset that I would ask such a question. I ask if she’s upset and disappointed and she says yes. I feel it’s because she thinks it will change my decision about having a baby. I say not to worry because I feel that I’ll have one anyway. She looks up and asks why. I say that I feel I want one, then other times I feel that I don’t, but that mostly I do. She asks how often I feel that I do; only once? I say no, I’ve felt this way several times. She asks when do I feel this way? I say that it’s when I see other people with their babies. As I’m explaining this I feel myself fading and start to feel my pillow on my face. I know I’m waking up and I can’t seem to get back to her. I finally open my eyes since it’s over and my clock says it’s 3:00.

As I’m pondering all of this in my bed, I realize that I was nothing like “me.” My family seemed stuffy and disapproving. I seemed stuffy and unhappy, except when I saw myself show up. My attitude was very depressing with no desire for children. This wasn’t like me at all. I think that asking her how she felt about having children was silly on my part now. That girl wasn’t me at all. This was a completely different person. If it was me, then it was a different side of me that I don’t want to be. They seemed well off financially, but judgmental and unhappy somehow. Maybe this was a different aspect of my ego? Was it part of my subconscious or a part of myself that isn’t who I am here but exists somewhere else? Maybe every possible aspect of who we could be exists somewhere…. Maybe I’m thinking on it too much…..

Note:
I kept questioning myself if I was really dreaming in parts of the dream or if it were really happening (before I met myself). Then I would remember that if I weren’t dreaming then I wouldn’t question it, so I had to be dreaming.

I couldn’t fall asleep very well before this dream. The last time I looked at the clock it said 2:00, I must have fallen asleep shortly after that.

Another note would be that one of the big reason's for asking her if she wanted a baby was due to the lucid dream I had about meeting my unborn daughter. I'm still unsure if I want children and thought her opinion would help me decide somehow.

12-15-10
I was watching over the life of a man, and he had no idea. He lived for hundreds of years. He sat cross legged with his head down outside in the elements. I forget what his first body was, but I think he was fully clothed for it. In his next body, he was naked, but I put bubble wrap on his feet to keep them warm. Somehow I knew that while he was probably uncomfortable, the only thing that was really important was that his feet stay warm, so I had to be sure of that. He was unaware of any of this or of me. All of his fingers on his hand (right?) were missing except his pointer finger. They had all been ground down years ago, but once again, the only important thing was that he kept his pointer finger, so it was ok (he didn’t know this either, only I did). His mutation was so severe that it looked like an arm that went straight to a finger. Even his hand had been mostly worn away.

I gave him a sip of water out of a gallon jug every so many hundred years (maybe 200, maybe 300, depends). When I did, he would look up at me and smile. I would decide what each of his next lives would be before they would begin. I remember deciding that one life he would become a Buddhist Monk, and touched him on his bald head to make it so. At one point, I liked the way that sipping the water would make him so happy that I kept giving him sip after sip so that he kept looking up at me and smiling. Suddenly, he looked down and looked sad. He said he remembered….everything (with much gravity). I realized I had let him drink too much and because of this he remembered all the suffering from the past hundreds of years that he had been living, instead of the joy, or peace, he could find from this moment.

I knew, after his awakening, that it was my turn now. I’m not sure if it was because of his awakening, or if it was just time, but now he would watch over me as I had watched over him. I told him what to do. Only give me a sip of water about every 200 years, and make sure I keep my pointer finger. He said ok. I knew it would be long and hard, but that I wouldn’t remember or realize it, so it would be ok.

Somehow, even though he was suppose to be watching over me now, I was the one that walked away, and I was still watching over him in a sense. I went into town to find a job. It was a much older period, before much medical discovery. I went to this small brown building and applied for a job as a physician and got it (with no prior experience). I was from the future somehow, so I remembered more from that than these people had learned (they didn’t know this though). I was aware that women were talking in town, and they were hopeful/excited because there was a new doctor in town. They were hoping to have more success with their pregnancies since they were having difficulties getting pregnant.

In this dream, I was a male doctor, not a woman. I saw a glimpse of myself in a white doctor/lab coat. I was still watching over my “friend” through this. Now, he was only a decapitated head preserved in a jar. I would forget about him sometimes, and once some squirrels got to him. I was worried he had died. Another time I came home to find the jar with his head in it on the floor (his head was now a raccoon head). The jar had tiny crickets all over in it and around it. They were in his eyes, throat and nose. I figured he would have suffocated; there was no way he could have survived this one. But he was still alive. I cleared them away, and while his head looked dead (didn’t move, blink or breath…almost looked stuffed) I knew he was still in there hanging on. I was relieved and knew I had to preserve him better so this wouldn’t happen again (obviously the jar wasn’t sealed tight enough).

I had this dream a few nights ago (today is 11-30-10). I remembered it again today and wanted to write it down before I forget any more details. It started off in a camp of some sort. It was getting darker (dusk), and I was near a cooking fire area. There were many people around. There was a flat pan that I use for cooking grilled cheese (in real life) laying on the ground, and it was very hot. One of my friends (I get the feeling it was Josh or Keith, which I knew when I woke up but can’t remember for sure now) stumbled and fell onto this pan, burning his face pretty badly. He was upset and in a lot of pain; holding his face and howling. I felt bad, but also felt that I had warned him of the danger, so I didn’t feel it was entirely my fault that he was hurting. I didn’t voice this, though. I merely walked away to another group of people that were cooking food. I knew I had to leave the camp, but I wanted to show a good gesture for the community at the same time. Everyone was going to be leaving to move to another area, and they would need food and supplies carried to their new destination. I felt that I would start carrying food alone, even though it was a very long and treacherous journey. I felt I could do it quickly and easily by myself. I grabbed a glass bowl of some sort of corn casserole and headed off towards the trees. Nobody tried to follow me, but I had the feeling that they felt I was crazy to think that I could make it alone. I somehow knew I would make it there and back several times before they made their first trip; so I would be back to carry more food before they even left camp.

Once near the trees, I started running. I didn’t get winded or even tired, but just kept on running. Up until this point, I have seen this dream through my own eyes (1st person), but then I start to see scenes of myself on this journey. From above, I see myself stop to rest for the night in front of a fire. All else is quiet, and I feel secure, safe and serene. I really don’t feel any harsh emotions through most of this dream. I mainly feel acceptance and a numb kind of calm. I run for days (which I don’t really watch so much as I know it has happened), when I reach a pool of water that I stop to bath in. I see myself in the water, washing my long brown hair. Once again all is quiet but the sound of the water and the feel of nature around me. I notice that I’m very lean and beautiful. I’ve been living off of the earth and running for a very long time, so I’m radiantly strong and healthy. I’ve never once been afraid of being alone, I just feel at peace and know that I have this mission to finish delivering food. I don’t see any animals of any kind, I’m completely alone.

After running for days more, the scenery starts to change to suburban America. Streets, cars, sidewalks. I’m running along the sidewalk, and I start to feel the heaviest burden of sadness. I’m remembering a time in my life where I used to run to happiness, and now I’m remembering that and sobbing that I no longer have it to run to, so I’m just running to run. I see Karen ahead of me, and although I don’t remember why now, she wants to fight me or hurt me somehow. Without breaking stride, I hit her hard and beat her down and keep running. I don’t feel bad about this; I was simply defending myself against her blows to keep moving. I keep running…. That’s about the last thing I remember.