Amurehna

Non-lucid
Lucid

Fragment 1: The Lady and the Disgruntled Serving Woman

The people here are human in shape but their skin has different hues. I'm watching a scene play out, there's a woman with pale skin with obviously pink/red undertones gliding around the estate giving orders to the serving staff. Half of them know her well, a quarter of them don't care to know her any better, and the last quarter resent the elevation of her status. She has not been the Lady long, and it is within her rights to make demands, but not all of them like it.
The mansion, in contrast to the people, is all stark white walls, white marble floors with grey veins. There are, however, colorful paintings at intervals in each hallway and where there isn't a painting there are half-circle tables with white vases and bright flowers. The serving woman in question mutters every time the Lady leaves the room. She's now standing on an open patio that leads to the garden. There's a large white planter at her feet full of flowers. The half the flower buds are dark blue fading to white in...splotches. The other half are yellow.
The serving woman's skin has blue and purple undertones, her hair is silver-blue, pulled back into a long curling tail. Her anger makes her seem ugly. A man approaches her from inside. She glances at him and takes one of the flowers in her hand and pulls off the yellow, revealing a blue flower underneath. It's almost like the color is just a sleeve that's meant to be removed. She tosses the thing into a basket at her feet.
"Is there something you want?" She asks, it seems she's inherently unpleasant.
"Her Ladyship is giving you a choice. Either fall in line or leave. Happiness is not a requirement to do your job." I get a good look at him, his skin is faint yellow green. "Do you really think she doesn't know your movements? She sees everything. Remember that."
The serving woman gives him a sarcastic curtsey.

Fragment 2: The Wagon
The area seems like it is inside and outside at once. Like it is a hallway but also a natural occurrence in the landscape. There are gates at regular intervals, locked to keep the enemy from having access to our trade routes. Something has happened to the world, it is winding down, it is more violent than it used to be.
I unlock one of the gates and allow a wagon through. A man I used to work with is driving it, he offers me a ride. I say I have one more thing I need to get first. He asks me a question, about work or how I'm doing.
I turn my back on the wagon and crouch down to do something as I'm answering. When I turn back around I see that they have already started up toward the next gate without me, and that they didn't listen to me at all. It makes me really angry.
"Sure, just leave me here, that's fine." I mutter, kicking at a rock.

Fragment 3: Abandoned (Lucid)
I'm a child, my parents have died and I've been living at a refuge for lost children. There were two cruel boys who are making their way to being cruel men, they are both seventeen and have never been considered for adoption. They don't like me. When a foster parent decided they wanted to adopt me and not the boys, they either hurt or killed him, ensuring that I would end up back at the refuge. There's a man who used to know my parents, a traveling merchant named Nedus. He regrets that he cannot take me with him, because of what the boys might do. He has a son at home to think about.
I'm standing in a library, my back to Nedus. The two cruel boys are hiding, watching us with jealous eyes. I hope they understand that I'm not leaving with Nedus, so they'll leave him alone. I face the door, it's a rectangle of golden light. I'm tired of just standing here.
I decide I can do anything I want. It will be easy. Just like that I leap into a back handspring. I do it again, then again. At first I don't chain them together. Then I think that I should just keep going, so I do. I do several back handsprings and end in a back flip. I'm surprised at how easy it feels and that my mind hasn't gotten into the way and made me smash the hell out of my face or something.
There's a lapse and I'm in what looks like an outdoor office. This, too, is inside and outside at once. For instance, there is a wire fence, and a gate, and there's grass and a hill. But in the corner there is a desk and a bookshelf against a dark green wall. There's a long dark wood beam pointing toward the gate.
I decide I want to do a front flip now. It seems like a new and exciting idea (Why is this more awesome than flying? o.O I'm so weird), I climb up onto the beam. I figure it will be easier to do a front flip off of an edge as opposed to trying to get enough air from a jump to not smash the hell out of my head. I go to the far end and run toward the gate. My mind plays a trick on me and as I near the edge, the beam shortens making me stumble off. I frown and as I'm about to climb back up, I hear the two boys behind me. I wander over to the desk and I see a single book on top of it. It's a thin volume. The top half is smooth, white and pale green plaid. The white has yellowed. There's an oval in the center with an illustration, the bottom half of the book is solid pale green. I think that Nedus' son would love this book.
The boys spot me, I run for the beam, they follow. I climb up onto it and run to the edge, leaping off and front flipping over the gate.
"Do you really think that will save you?" One of them calls after me.

Fragment 4: The Queen
I'm in my childhood home. I'm running up the stairs to find that our pregnant queen/president has been attacked and dragged into one of the transport tubes that line the wall where the fireplace used to be. The tubes go from floor to ceiling, the top and bottom are dark blue, the middle is clear plastic with a handle. It reminds me vaguely of a vacuum cleaner.
I follow after the assailant, pulling open the door and slipping in.

At some point I hurt my forehead, so that I have a cut through my right eyebrow.

I'm in a theater. I think that it's too bright in there and after a long moment I realize that instead of facing to the front, we are all looking to our right to watch a movie on a small projection screen. They stop the movie so they can transfer it to the actual large screen in front of us. The entire time I'm sitting there shaving my eyebrows. At the time I think it's because I cut my head, it seemed perfectly logical to shave off my eyebrows, but I couldn't finish because of the cut. I decide I need to look in a mirror. I walk over to the wall where there just happens to be a mirror.
I'm all dirty, covered in smudges of soot so that I can't really tell what my features will look like with my shaved eyebrows. At first my appearance shocks me, but the longer I look, the less startling it is. I think that I need a towel to wipe off the soot....then I wake up.

Non-Lucid
Lucid
Missed Indicator ((I'm marking them this way because at those moments I felt like something was off but I couldn't grasp what it was.))
I'm going to call them fragments because while they are all in the same places with the same people, the pieces are not connected.
Fragment 1: My Brother and Work
I'm attending a work meeting. We've gathered at the end of one of the aisles. My brother arrives late, carrying a starbucks coffee cup. He doesn't look anything like my WL brother. I have a moment when I'm staring at him, that I'm trying to realize that. He smiles at me, I smile uncertainly. His eyes were blue instead of brown and his face shape was wrong. He stepped back and his elbow knocked over a row of pale purple gift bags stacked 4 deep in the bay. It pushed the ones stacked in the adjacent bay to the floor.
"Uh-oh." I said. We picked up the bags.
While I'm doing that I think that I should be paying attention to the meeting instead of picking up products, I can hear the manager holding the meeting say something like that to the group, but I don't stop what I'm doing and he sounds really far away.

Fragment 2: At Home with my Brother
Then I'm at home in the living room. My brother follows me down the hall. He's been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I said something about finding him a real bed and he waves dismissively at me.
"Nah, this is fine."
He's still carrying the coffee cup.

Fragment 3: Girlfriend, Father Lives with Me, Ugly Creature
Now I'm in the bathroom. I have a girlfriend. Sometimes she looks regularly proportioned and sometimes her features are stretched, almost cartoonish. She's wearing a soft grey shirt and jeans. Her frame is too tiny to be normal, but I'm admiring her in comparison to my own more...average figure. She straddles my hips. Both the door to the hall and the door to the bedroom are open, I'm afraid my father will walk in on us.
She takes my hand and leads me into the living room. There's a mattress right next to the door. All the blinds are closed, the lights off, but it's day outside.
I kneel on the mattress and she bends her knees slightly, leaning down to talk to me.
"I'm going to turn into a cat!" She says.
"Go for it." I reply.
She looks exceptionally cute as her face scrunches up in concentration. A kitten bursts into existence in front of us. She frowns at it.
"Well...you didn't turn into a cat, but you certainly made one." I say, staring down at the kitten.
"What's wrong with it? It's kind of ugly."
The longer I look at it the more I realize how little it actually looks like a cat. For one, it's purple. Its fur is really short, almost just fuzz on the skin, its eyes are yellow and bulbous; its ears are large, pointed and bat-like. I try to scratch it between the ears but the ears are too close together. It has 4 articulated claws on each paw.
"I think it's kind of cute." We both know I'm just trying to make her feel bad about willing an extremely ugly creature into existence.

Fragment 4: Junk Day, Miniatures
I'm outside, standing at the end of my driveway, by the curb. I notice a patch of clover, it's pale red. I think "Wow, I've never seen red clover before."
Next to the clover are file crates full of junk. One of them is full of small rectangular white boxes with numbers written on them in black sharpie. There's box with a picture of a dwarf miniature. I see my boyfriend watching me from the house. He turns to go back inside and I rush to follow him.
"Hey, there's a box full of miniatures out there, do you want it?"
"Nah."
"...really?"
He just shrugs at me.

Fragment 5: Rollerblades, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Flying
I'm outside on my driveway, wearing rollerblades. I'm carrying a white trash bag full of junk. I can't seem to stop myself from rolling. The driveway is more sloped than I'm used to. I drop the bag with the junk at the curb and skate back to the house.
I frown, trying to figure out why there's a giant truck parked in our yard and another parked where my car should be. I move toward the garage and see that my car has been crushed into the garage door.
"Stupid rollerblades! I just wanna stop moving!"
I manage to stop. Upon thinking how annoying the skates are, the next step I take does not send me gliding forward. It is a regular step.
"Huh." I say, reaching down and lifting my heel to my hand. The heel of my shoe is flat and wide. "I must be dreaming."
I tilt my head back and scan the sky. Everything is sharp and feels real. The sky is black, broken by tiny pinpoints of light. There is a cluster of 6 stars directly overhead. I know exactly how to test it. The shoe wasn't enough, apparently. I leap into the sky, when I start to descend I flap my arms like a bird. As I lose momentum I notice that Superman is flying around above me, he extends his hand and wills me to fly to him. I attempt to do so, resisting the urge to flap my arms, since I know I don't need to.
I don't reach his hand, he lands. The scene is no longer my driveway but a mall. I'm on a balcony, looking down at him. I see myself from the outside, I'm Jean Grey. When Superman shifts his position a little he changes into cyclops, except that he's wearing red and yellow. And, because my subconscious is hopeless, his hair is red. I jump off the balcony and glide down next to him. I offer him my hand and he takes it, but his arm remains stiff, keeping me at arms length, effectively stopping me from stepping in to kiss him.
Just by keeping that resistance between us, he is gently reminding me that I should be at my post. It will happen soon.
He points me toward the escalator and I take it down to the floor below. I can see him from there, and the balcony overhead.

I woke up in the middle of the night, confused. I kept dreaming my room at an odd angle, every time I fell asleep I would open my eyes, see my room and think I was in a different place. I woke up and went to turn on the air conditioner, I was so disoriented that I didn't realize until I opened the door that I wasn't still asleep and that my purpose in opening the door was to turn on the air conditioner =/. Reverse false awakening? FALSE SLEEP. o.O I dunno.

In this one I'm male. I have no idea what I look like, which is fairly unusual. My girlfriend looks like this chick, Michaela McManus. ((I have no idea why she's popping up in my dreams, I'm not even watching any tv shows she acts in. *shrugs* I don't even think she's particularly pretty.))
We've been together for 2 years, we live together. The whole thing feels distant, disconnected. Like we're strangers just pretending to know one another. She's been secretive, but I've never pressed the issue. We're staying with a friend of mine while we're out of town, a guy from WL work named Shay. We've been there for a few weeks.
I'm standing in our bedroom. She has just left, hinting heavily that it's finally time for us to take the next step. She's left a ring case on the foot of the bed, so I can go out and propose to her at dinner. I pick up the ring box. I feel trapped, like I've led myself into a corner. I don't want to get married, but I can't back out without causing a huge fuss. I walk over to the dresser and in the mirror I catch a glimpse of the light grey suit I'm wearing.
I absently think that it's been a long time since we've done more than sleep on our opposite sides of the bed, how we never even touch each other.
It's too late now.

I walk out into the hallway, it's L shaped and painted bright orange-yellow, I'm greeted by Shay's father who has been away for a couple of months. He's a police officer. Michaela rounds the corner and stops short, becoming tense. Shay's father turns his eyes to her...

I wake up in bed. Someone has come to talk to me about what happened. I'm alone, she's gone. They ask me if I knew who she was when we started dating.
"What do you mean? Who is she?"
They explain that she's a serial killer who kills other criminals. She started out extorting bad men and then killing them, then she found herself in a relationship with Dan, a serial killer who seduced women and then killed them. At first they didn't realize that she had murdered another serial killer until they started doing some digging.
Two of her women friends from that time in her life show up and explain how she used to be.
"Was she that way when you knew her?"
"No. I thought I knew her pretty well, too. How funny." I say, but mostly I'm just relieved that I've been given an out. Someone has called into work for me, since this will soon be all over the news and myself along with her.
"Can you believe we're chasing_______"
"What'd you say?" I ask, since I didn't hear the name.
"She Who Kills."
"She Who Kills?" I ask incredulously, "What a stupid name for a serial killer."

The police show me a video from overseas of when she worked a military officer. How she waited outside the bar he was in until he noticed her. She pretended to be military. There's a guy in a car taking pictures so he can blackmail the guy.

Something about going into an antique jewelry store and the clerk laying out small gold tiles that were supposed to interlock into a bracelet. It's about then that I recognize the design on their gift boxes, that this is where she bought her ring.
"Sir? Will you be purchasing this today?"
Stunned and suddenly sad, I put the box down. "No, I don't think I will."

Well, I was complaining that I keep forgetting the beginnings of my dreams. So then I had this dream that I wish I couldn't remember. I feel like I should be disturbed by it, but it's more...distasteful? I guess?
Non-lucid
Lucid
I don't want to go into detail. There was a lot of sex. Actually it was an orgy.
It began with a website. I'm sitting at a computer, scrolling down a network new addition page. Several times on the page is a banner of a naked woman. I think it's really out of place. As I'm scrolling my boyfriend leans over my shoulder and tells me to click on it. I don't really want to, it's embarrassing.
"No, really, it's some kind of contest. If you watch the whole video you win a prize."
Doubtfully, I click on the button.

I see a short, small boned blonde woman, she has a red stripe running from her hairline, through one eye, and curving around her bottom lip. Her appearance is changeable, from every angle it is different. Something to do with, in part, reflecting the expectation of whoever is looking at her.
A man steps in front of her, he's at least a foot and a half taller than her. Dressed like a barbarian, fur and leather and teeth. He's got shoulder length red hair. When my vision pulls out she is naked. He lifts her chin with his thumb and forefinger and says
"You're a little ugly for this job, aren't you?"
"Comes with the territory." She says softly, smiling. Her facial structure flickers between unattractive and beautiful. I notice a red flower tattoo on her left shoulder.
She's laying on a table while he touches her.
*frowns* There are maybe 8 men in the house and 2 women. They take turns or go in pairs to have sex with her.

I'm no longer following them around, I'm in the real world. I realize the place is real. I want to go check it out. My boyfriend and his mother are in the car with me. We all get out. I can't remember why I let them come with me, since I knew where we were going and if any of the men confronted me, I wouldn't be able to (or wouldn't want to) stop them.
There are 5 men now, 3 of them extremely tall. Attractive, if unkempt. We go into the house. My boyfriend's mother keeps saying that she doesn't think we should be there.

I'm going to skip the graphic part. Let's just say that they stood, horrified, watching me have sex with several men. Both of them had tears streaming down their faces, they leave to stand by the car. When the men are done with me I go into the bathroom to clean up before going outside.

When I go out the back door I hear two women talking. They see me and they halt in mid sentence. I push off the ground and fly up over the trees. They resume talking, saying that the police are coming to arrest the men and anyone else involved. I drop back down and I see my boyfriend and his mother standing by the car. She notices me and wears an expression of pity and disgust while she tries to comfort her son. They can't believe I've done this.
I try to decide if I should just go back inside and ignore them, but that's not how you deal with situations. I do go inside, but just so I can look in the mirror again.
I go back out, it's night now. I can hear the cars coming down the dirt road, and know they are the police. There's a tree by the road with a broken, weathered ladder. I leap up and catch the bottom board then pull myself up.
"I know what you're thinking." I say to my boyfriend. "You're wondering how I could have done this to you. Believe me, I don't understand either. I can see the line, and I don't know why I couldn't stop, the horror, the confusion."
The police arrive. One of them is Captain Renard from Grimm. He looks up at me from the base of the tree and asks if I participated. I say that I did. He says that, regretfully, he has to take me in for questioning.
I decide that isn't happening.
I push off from the tree and fly away, every time I start to descend a little I flap my arms. My arms get tired, the left one cramps until I'm doing a really tight pull. I remember thinking it didn't really matter because I was still flying.

Non-lucid
Lucid
False Awakening
I've fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of the day and this is what I got.

I'm in my house, laying on the couch. Everything is in its place and it all feels right. My boyfriend comes into the room and starts to pick a fight with me, it was over something really stupid but I can't remember what it was. He leaves the room, still fighting with me from another. I feel compelled to follow him but instead I roll over and go back to sleep.
I'm in my house, laying on the couch. everything is in its place and it all feels right. My boyfriend is in the kitchen, talking to me. I get up and the world shifts around me. It feels sluggish and my vision keeps warping the room. I walk into the kitchen,
"Hey! This is really weird. I think I'm still asleep."
"Let's watch Supernatural." He says, walking past me into the living room.
"Didn't you hear me? Something weird is happening."
"Are we going to watch this or not?" He asks.
I frown in response, bothered by how he's ignoring what's happening to me, but I follow him. He sits down on the couch with his coffee and waits for me to put in the dvd. I seize one of the cases and put it down with more force than is necessary, annoyed that for some reason I'm expected to do this. Why can't he put the damn dvd in the player? I put it in and turn on the tv. I look at the screen, the play menu keeps blending with an episode making it hard to watch. The then realize it isn't Supernatural but Beauty and the Beast.

"Sorry, this is season 5 of Beauty and the Beast."
"Let's watch it anyway."
"You want to start at the end?"
"Sure."

It bothers me because I realize he doesn't care at all about the story, I wonder if that extends to everything we watch together that I suggest to him. Everything goes blurry and I hold my head, waiting for it to stop.
When it does I'm laying on the couch. Everything is in its place and feels right. I experience a moment of vertigo but it passes. My boyfriend comes into the room and picks a fight with me, and then storms off outside to mow the yard. The front door is open. I move to follow him and run into a small desk pushed against the wall beside the door. I resist the urge to overturn it. It seems extremely stupid that we have a computer right here, and that it's not even centered on the desk. As I move it into the middle I realize why we had it offset, it's sort of...school desk shaped. It's got an uneven side that reminds me of a bottle neck.

"Now I'm questioning everything!" I hear him say. "If you've lied to me about this, what else have you lied about?"

It still seems like a really stupid thing to make him call our relationship into question. I roll my eyes. He starts working and I go into the garage to fix something. The garage door is open and right at the edge of it I can see he's talking to his dad who, per usual, has asked when we're getting married.

"I don't even know if I want to be married now!" He snaps. As he says it he lifts his head and shoots me a look. I'm deeply offended.
"REALLY? Right now? Right there on the yard?" I snap back. He ignores me. Fine. I leave the garage and as I step back into the main part of the house I have more vertigo. This time the unreality of the situation strikes me. Besides, wasn't it raining when I fell asleep?

I shake my head, annoyed, and go to my room to get my shoes. Everything looks as it should, except the colors are more vivid. Movement is easy, like I could jump or fly if I wished. Like I'm weightless. I put on my shoes and jog back out to the living room. I look out the open door and the tree on our patio has large white flowers, near the center it becomes dark pink. The shape suggests an orchid. I decide I'm wasting my time standing here arguing. I run out onto the patio. Why stay here when I can do whatever I want? I look up into the sky, an elegant branch full of flowers hangs down just out of arms reach. I can do anything. I crouch and then leap skyward. At first all I can do is grab the branch.

"Let's try that again." I say, then jump again.

I feel weightless and full of energy. I climb the branch hand-over-hand like it's a rope, I notice there is fruit mixed in with the flowers, they look almost like already cut quarters of a peach but they are dark brown. They smell wonderful. I release the branch and jump down to the roof of the house, fruit in hand. As I walk, I eat. I briefly see the house from overhead. When I see the layout it feels like I've come home, though I've never been to a place like it.
It's got a wide, flat, tan roof. There's a lower section of roof over part of the patio, hugging top right corner of the house in an L shape. I can see the dark vividly green grass, more like moss here. The trees lining the wire fence, hiding everything beyond it.
There are many animals on the roof. I startle several birds. A raccoon-like creature regards me warily. I drop a piece of fruit at its feet and will it to eat. It does so reluctantly.
Anything. Anything. What will I do? I do not want to fly. Besides, the dream has made the boundaries clear and if I have to focus on flying and creating something knew outside the fenced area I'll probably wake up.
I scout the edges of the roof and smile when I see the gate. Of course, my way out.
I drop lithely to the grass below and lope to the gate. I try to walk through when light pink bands of energy repulse me. I frown and look at the guard who just appeared.

"Hey, you wanna let me out?" I ask.
"We're under orders to---"
"To let me out?"
He frowns at me, nonplussed that I'm being difficult.
"Listen..."
"Nooo. YOU listen. I live here, I can leave if I want. If anything happens to me I promise I won't throw you under the bus."

He very reluctantly unbands the energy and allows me to go through. As I'm stepping out to the clear faintly pink bridge beyond I think

"Well, this is new and interesting." Since it isn't remotely like anywhere I've been or imagined, and doesn't match a game I've played. I waggle my fingers at him to say goodbye and then I run across the bridge, then up a ramp. I'm almost out, thank god.

There's an arched doorway ahead. I duck inside and immediately see the rectangle of bright light on the other side of the room, the next and final doorway. A tall man in red robes blocks the light and glares at me.

"What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm leaving." I say, glaring at him.
"So you'll just throw it all away? You know what's expected."
"I don't CARE. I don't want any of it."

I notice a wall, it rises out of the floor at a slant, on the other side of it are lit candles and pictures. An alter for my sister's family, an alter for my brother's. I know this means that they have long since died, but they have done their duty to continue the line, by bearing children.

"They need your children. They will be the most adept."
"I. Don't. Care. I want to leave."
"You can't defy me this way! Do you know who I am?"
I glare at him over my shoulder, absently picking up one of the pictures. "Do you know who I am? After all I've been through, everything I've done for this miserable little world, all I have LOST. You can't make me stay."
"Oh? And who are you?"
I am speaking as Saja even though I have not become her like I usually do. "Are you saying you can't tell?"
"It doesn't matter, I still have to stop you."
"Go ahead and try."

He has strayed from the door. I drop the picture and dart past him. He grabs my shoulders and pushes me off to the side, as I'm rounding to face him.

"Prove it then." He says, drawing his hand back up over his head.

A pinkish-purple energy orb appears in his palm. He throws it at me. I hold out my hand to stop it and absorb it into my palm. It tingles. He looks surprised, especially when I throw it back, but now it's faintly disc shaped and white. He grabs it but instead of absorbing the energy it spreads all over his skin and flickers orange like fire. I charge toward him.
"Ah.Oomeht.Kaelish. Oruk-ti. Ah.vet.MAH." I say it with quiet conviction. I hold my hand out and try to snap to ignite the stuff on his skin (a la Colonel Mustang). But the priest grabs my hand in his fist, making it impossible to move my fingers. We grapple for a tense moment.
He looks disconcerted.
"Didn't you hear me?" I ask.
We end up saying the words together, and I'm amazed that I remember them perfectly.
"So you're an angel, makes no difference to me. You cannot leave."

Spoiler for Random racy scene between myself and another woman. I'm amused to realize she's about Liam's height. My subconscious has a SERIOUS problem.:

Aaaaand then it gets weird. I have no idea what happens here. The camera pulls out and I no longer look like myself but Brienne of Tarth and the man is now a woman with long honey blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. We stand there, holding onto each other. It's kind of an embrace.
"My place isn't here." I say. She agrees with me and we study each others faces. I know she will allow me to go. First though...
I separate from the scene again and Bree leans forward and kisses the girl squarely on the mouth. Watching, I'm really confused why that's happening. WTF?
Then they start to make out. Suddenly I'm the girl with the ponytail and she is bearing me to the ground, settling between my legs and grinding against me. It feels amazing, and real and sharp.

The world wavers and I wonder why the pleasure should feel so real. I tilt my head back and I come to the conclusion that it's something that's happening in the waking world. Even though Bree is sitting back on her heels, I can feel a head on my chest. I run my fingers through their hair, it's long and smooth. My boyfriend, obviously. I allow myself to wake up.

Except that I don't. He sits up and smiles at me. I'm disappointed that he woke me before I could finish the dream and I don't really feel like having sex. He gets up and I follow him into the kitchen. The front door is open. Suddenly a girl I used to work with, Brittany, who has chin length red hair, comes through the door. I'm confused, because if I'm awake the gate should be locked.
I experience another moment of vertigo and I go to greet her like she's supposed to be here.
She smiles, looking radiant. "Hi! Sorry to drop in on you like this, I just wanted to see if you were going to come to the gathering tonight?"

"Of course we are."
"We can just all head over there together then! Here, let me introduce my husband to you."

Her husband comes in through the door. He is at least 6'5", which is gigantic next to my meager 4'11". I stare up at him. He has blue eyes like Liam and his hair is even a little red, though red-blonde. I'm am suddenly intensely jealous of Brittany. Then I'm distracted because another giant comes through the door. This one is an older man, all around big, a little overweight. He's at least 7 feet tall. I wonder how he came through the door without ducking. I shake her husband's hand, ignoring the familiar flush of tension as I regard his height and how similar his build is to Liam's.

For some reason the party is on our lawn. There are a lot of people milling around. I walk outside and I start to feel sick. I stagger back inside and lean over the trash can at the end of the counter. It's tall, about chest high. At some point it turns into a garbage disposal. I feel like there's something in my throat.
I reach into my mouth and start to pull out long ropes of...something. It looks a little like hair with strings of meat and some white stuff. A couple of women come inside and stare at me. I'm embarrassed that they're seeing this. Obviously there's something wrong with me. I grab another handful and pull it out, dropping it into the sink. I cough.
One of them says something I can't remember. Then she asks me if I'm okay.

"Oh yes. I'm fine." I say sarcastically. "Sure. Just stand there and watch, that's fine."
They keep staring at me. I cough and grab another handful from the back of my throat.
"This is what happens when eat meat and you haven't had it in a long time." She says.
"But I haven't."

More vertigo as dream memory replaces actual memory, and I remember a steak I ate earlier. Maybe she's right. I think I'm done for now. As I leave the kitchen I realize one of my back teeth is loose. I'm horrified when I spit several molars into my palm. No no...no. Well, I'll have to go to the dentist...at least I make enough money now that it won't be a problem. I lay down on the couch, feeling dizzy.
I wake up for real this time and am vastly relieved to have all my teeth.

I keep forgetting the beginnings of my dreams, it's really annoying.

Diner 05/12/2013
I see a diner from the air, the layout for the parking lot looks familiar but I can't figure out why. I'm inside the diner and I've been (unwillingly) following high school basketball team. I'm not myself but I no longer remember the character I'm playing. I'm running from someone and a boy has coerced me into staying with the group to hide. Since I've now been counted in their number I can't just leave without drawing undue attention.
He's about average height, skinny, with wavy light brown hair. He's wearing his basketball uniform, it's all black with white or silver around the neck. Something about him pisses me the hell off. I glare at him when he isn't looking at me, silently seething contempt for being trapped. He catches me giving him the doom eye and smiles a little, offering a menu to me.
"Sorry I got you into this...the least we can do is feed you for your trouble." He says. I stare at it. "Oh come on, don't be such a baby. Take the damn menu."
I swipe it from his hand.
"Order anything you want, they have a deal with the school to feed us."
"Isn't that just for the 18 of you? Won't they notice the extra meal?"
"Not until we're gone."
He turns away and I examine the menu. It's a black laminated sheet with white bullet points and text.

Office 05/13/2013 (nap)
((this is actually the second time I've dream about the Chiropractic office since I started going, which is unusual for me. I rarely stray outside certain sets. The dream layout for this place looks NOTHING like the actual office, it's even more strange that the it has people I know in it. I don't really dream about people I know, hell, it's only after 8 years of being together that my boyfriend started popping up in my dreams.
Also, I figured out why the boy looked familiar. There's a customer I helped once a couple of months ago. The boy had his face and hair. I helped him again the same day I had this dream, but he hadn't appeared before these two. *shrugs* I didn't even remember the guy until I saw him at the desk...even then, he had to tell me that his project turned out great before I really knew who he was.))

I pull into the parking lot. I drag a lawn mower up to the door and push it through. The front door puts me in the middle of the office. If I look over my shoulder I'll find the adjustment room at my back. That really confuses me but I remember having this problem before. I stare down at the lawn mower wondering why the hell I brought it with me. I look around, worried that someone will notice my stupidity. I start to wrestle it toward the door that will lead outside, but the handle on it won't stay rigid. I fight it for a solid minute, trying to get it to fold if it isn't going to stay upright. It won't. I push it toward the door. I look over my shoulder and find my chiropractor looking at me from the end of the hall, all puzzled. There are two wide sets of pale, featureless wooden doors.
Along the wall is the waiting room, in the very last chair is a young man. He catches me looking at him and smiles a little. He looks like the boy from the diner dream except he has carrot-red hair hidden under his hat. I'm trying to figure out why he looks familiar as I wrestle the lawn mower outside and tell the receptionist lady that I'll be back in a minute.

Plane 05/14/2013
I've boarded a plane. It has pale blue walls, dark blue carpet, and black seats. The cast of light even appears blue, like it's very early or very late in the day. I'm not myself, though I began the dream that way. I sit down across from a couple. The woman has my eyes which is fitting because she is my mother.
I was abandoned as a child, and I never even knew them until now. I start to suspect who they are as they talk about their life and what they had to sacrifice for the company. They feel frivolous, detached, decadent. It makes me angry.
"So you've been up here the whole time? Flying around, drinking, going to parties? How terrible for you." I say, seeing my own face as I say it. I'm close to tears. I have a narrow face, almond shaped black-brown eyes and short brown hair. They don't understand who I am, and I don't tell them.
"Yes...but there's so much more than that. All the deaths, the plane crashes."
The company they work for belongs to her father. At first he was approving of the match, but I was conceived before they married. They were forced to abandon me, and when they strayed at all from the company plan people died to get them back in line. It wasn't all the machinations of her father's company, these corporations are vicious and often murder the opposing company's agents to prove a point.
I realize there were other events surrounding my abandonment. If they hadn't left me, her father would have had me killed. Even talking to them is a risk, for all of us. So I depart without telling them who I am.

I'm standing outside, unsure what to do with myself. There's a mound dirt made damp by melting snow. I walk around it several times, each time I see more bugs. I hope they're dead.
It seems I'm not that lucky though. A dream character appears and tells me that they found 30 of these wasp/spider things in someone's truck, then they disappeared before they could be properly disposed of. As he's saying this one shakes itself free of the dirt and promptly buzzes down my back, freaking me out.

Leering Pervert
I'm cutting across a residential area with lots of trees between the houses. I can't remember why I'm doing it, something about going to a used book store and all the roads being congested. I'm soaked and dirty and I really want to dry off. I walk up to a house and look inside windows until I find the bathroom. It appears that they are occupied in other parts of the house, I push the window open and climb inside. As I'm doing that a woman walks in and, startled, asks me what I'm doing. I start guiltily.
"I just...could I just dry off? Please?"
She hands me a towel and tells me to be quick about it. I thank go to stand in front of the mirror across from the bathroom door. Right as I'm peeling off my shirt, leaving my chest naked, a man opens the door. He sees my nakedness, and I see his flash of lust at unexpectedly happening upon a half naked young woman in his bathroom. His wife doesn't seem surprised at his reaction, just irritated. She shoos him out the door and closes it.
"You had better hurry. Before he comes back."
I pull my shirt back on and the perverted man somehow gets his wife distracted and comes to talk to me. Just looking at him disgusts me. He isn't necessarily ugly, but he feels ugly. I watch his wife leave, uncertain what I should do.
I don't remember what he asks me, if I know how to do a certain thing. My unease grows as he starts to explain.
"You just stand with your legs apart and put your leg out like this." But he uses crude words that I won't type.
Dream logic says I'm supposed to copy him, but I have a shred of lucidity so I don't. He brings his leg up between mine, his ankle hitting me hard.
I'm instantly revolted and enraged, considering I was supposed to do the same thing to him, the thought of any part of me touching him makes me want to throw up. I shove him away from me and slap the hell out of him. All the while I'm yelling
"What makes you think you can do that to someone?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" I can't hit with any force though but it's enough to get him away from me.
I flee out the window.
Why am I always climbing in and out of windows? That happens A LOT.

Soldier
I'm a man, a soldier suddenly and delightfully free from his Legion. It doesn't feel like they're dead, I am just completely untethered. I use my new found freedom to wander. The landscape reminds me of the yard in front of the house in MA, except spread out over a much larger area. In the distance I see a slave legion marching west. They pass me and I follow them around the back of the 'house'...except the house is huge too. There's a lattice wall standing on edge of the hill. The captain of the slave legion comes down to talk to me.
I think I convince him to not go to his next location, to follow me into freedom.
There was more to this, but it's lost to me now.

I might be secretly obsessed with Liam and Saja, why else would they show up so often?

Fragment: Mall and Liam Echo
I'm walking into a mall, following my boyfriend. He leaves to check a store out but my left foot hurts so I just stand in the courtyard. There's a bench next to a raised tile planter filled with soil, a wooden sign, and mounted on top of the sign is a pane of glass. I limp over to the planter thing (I have no idea what it's actually called), pain shoots from my toes to my ankle. I notice that an old man staring at me, concerned, I ignore him. As I'm sitting down I see a man through the glass that immediately reminds me of Liam. I pause and stare at him. He looks tired, in a lightly rumpled gray suit, a tiny little girl I take to be his daughter grabs his hand and leads him a few running steps. He smiles faintly and shakes the hair from his eyes with a slight movement of his head. In this dream his hair is a dark red brown.

I force myself to stop, thinking that I can't just keep gawking strangers. I sit down and take my shoe off to rub my foot. I wonder if I should go to the emergency care place they have in the mall...

Saja: The Runewall, the Gate, and the Return
The mansion feels like it is both inside and outside. There's an entry hall, in the foyer is a double stair case with a deep red-brown bannister and black/white checker pattern tile on the stairs, running up to the second floor. Most of the tile in the room at the foot of the stairs is gone. Across from the bottom landing is another doorway, the door itself is gone and it opens up into a ruined section of the house. Jutting out of the dirt next to the door is a two foot tall polished dark grey stone wall () On the inside curve are three lines of runes.
The Liam echo from the dream fragment kneels next to a woman who is dressed in all white and grey shimmering cloth.
"You really did find it then.." He says. Her expression becomes mildly bemused, eyes far away, she nods. "Do you know what it says?" he asks.
"What do you mean? The stone is blank."
Liam rises and walks around to stand on the inside curve of the runewall. He touches the top of it and a faint vibration rises from the surface. The woman stands up and looks at the stone in shock and further bemusement.
"So it is the runewall." She doesn't necessarily sound happy, just tired.
"Can you read the runes now?"
"They are...difficult to read. They all run together."
He points, "What about this part?" There's a vertical line of English letters on the outer edge preceding the first line of runes.
X
E
B
They talk about what it means that he can read those letters, even pronounce it like it's a word. Zheb. She gives him the gist of what the runes say, he joins her on the other side of the wall. She says something about trials and sending messages. She uses a formal tone the one I associate with speaking a prophecy. The wall is a sign that the gate will soon reopen.
"You were destined to reveal the wall, just as I was destined to craft the basin."
She says there are artifacts that have to be found to open the gate and that in the final location, the middle of a hollow plateau, she will create the basin in the clay. I see a rough rock formation. The basin will show them where the key to the gate can be found.
As she speaks she pushes her hands down into the wet sand like she is kneading dough. The walls of the crafted crater rise up, she runs furrows into the sand floor with her fingers.
"The plateau could be anywhere, they are all over the place." Liam says, frowning slightly.
"Don't worry. Believe me, when the time comes, we will know exactly how to find it. Do you know how to send the message?"
"Yes."
She gives him a small, troubled smile. The task ahead will not be easy.

Then I am Saja. I meet a tall dark haired main in a ruined mansion, it's nearly identical to the mansion where Liam revealed the writing on the runewall. Something isn't right, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I wonder where his family is, they were supposed to come here to see him off. Once the others arrived, we would be going home.
"Where is the gate?" He asks. He looks tense and unhappy.
"There's a balcony on the second floor that leads out into a garden then to a field. The gate is there." I turn my back on him and skip lightly up the stairs. I see myself from the back, the long shining black curls. A cream colored dress with a light green-yellow bodice. My hair bounces as I mount the stairs. I twist around and find he is staring at me with undue intensity. I smile and, beckoning him to follow, run up the rest of the stairs.

I know the man has traveled a long way. Liam's message feels like it comes from across the sea. Far away, certainly, but not too far to reach. He reluctantly climbs the stairs. I can see how he's looking at me even though my back is turned and I finally understand why he is here alone.
He was forced to make a deal, in exchange for his family's safety he would get me from opening the gate and going home.

There's a lapse. We're outside. There's a stone arch standing alone in the middle of a garden. As we get closer heavy wooden doors shimmer into existence. I turn and confront him on his motives, but I don't remember what the outcome is.

Moving
I'm in the process of moving. It's the house in Oklahoma I lived in with my mom. There are a lot of other people helping at the house, all dream characters, I don't know any of them. I'm walking with a woman and saying that we're almost finished getting everything into the truck.
"There's a startling amount of furniture though." I gesture to the antique chairs that are stacked seat, to seat. A loveseat and a couch. All antique looking with white cushions and a small black picture spaced every 4 inches of fabric. I leave her and walk the house, making sure we haven't forgotten anything.
Upstairs there's an attic closet, except in the dream there are two, side by side. I've dreamed it like this before. I open one door and see all the boxes inside, and all the junk mixed in. I open the other door and it's mostly junk without boxes. In the far corner of the room across from the attic closet are giant bags of groceries. There's at least 4 loaves of bread and some chips. I wonder how long the bags have been up here. The food looks fine but I know no one has been up to the second floor in months.
I head back downstairs and I start helping them pack more things. We get the last of the boxes and then the woman I walked with earlier says,
"Now it's just the furniture."
"OH! I'm so sorry." I interject, "There's the attic closet upstairs too. Most of it is boxed."
She looks a little annoyed.
I know I went back up into the junked out attic closet but I can't remember what I did there.

Murder
The same dream characters that helped me move are in this dream too. I'm helping a woman track down her father. The police think he murdered someone, but we are trying to prove that he didn't. We're in an empty bar. The woman (she's short and round, wearing her hair back in a little tail, wearing a blue t-shirt and a black jacket), returns from outside carrying a box with two stain pad tools in it (something I see at work). She's saying that her friend couldn't find her father's DNA on them even though the receipts say they are his.
"So that means..."
"That there was someone else here with him." We finish together. It makes perfect sense. "What do his phone records say?"
"He placed several calls to the Scarlet Pony the day he went missing." She replies.
I go and look out the window, wondering if it's the bar across the street. The sign is bright red and says something like "Red Play" or "Pli Red".
I leave to investigate a property he purchased recently.

There's a lapse. I'm walking on the curb where a parking lot meets the street. An annoying group of people cuts me off so they can walk beside the curb. They don't even bother to move when a car drives around the corner. I step into the parking lot to avoid them, and the group weaves back into the parking lot and stands by their car, laughing with each other about how pointless the detour to the curb was.
I'm too annoyed to admit that they did me a favor, I would never have been able to reach the house by following the curb. , there's a bridge connecting the parking lot to the house I've come to investigate. The structure is unpainted weathered wood with a single window. I see the women from earlier, along with another, standing at the door trying to decide if they should go in. I try to decide if I should bother avoiding them or just meet them inside. I walk to the edge and consider jumping across and going in through the back door but I'm not sure I can make the leap. Instead I cross the bridge and follow them inside.
The house is only two rooms, a living area and a bedroom. Under the window is a long work table littered with tools. There's a rocking chair with rotted out cushions, and then on the right hand wall are two book cases. One of them has an arched top. I realize that a girl I used to work with is standing next to me along with the DC from earlier. She has her red hair pulled back in a ponytail, and her blue eyes are wide as she leans forward to examine the titles.
"I want something REAL." She says.
I try to help her pick a book, but the only titles that stand out are fantasy. I don't remember them now, there was one about different fairytale creatures and one with a title that could have been real but I knew was fantasy. I point one out.
"That isn't REAL." She says scornfully. "None of this can HAPPEN."
I keep trying to help her find a book. We hear a noise from outside and I see the outside of the house. A dozen police officers have met in the parking lot and are going to storm the house, they think a murderer is here. We huddle down by the work table. We can hear them move to encircle the house.
Annie mutters, "What's taking them so long? Why aren't they in here yet?"
The other DC gets up and takes a quick peek out the window.
"Um...they're using goats to herd cats." She says.
Annie snaps at her, annoyed, "Why would the police care about herding cats?"
I decide I need to see this and I stand up, look outside. The officer in charge looks exactly like Robert Patrick the guy who played the villain terminator in Terminator 2. I'm really amused by that.
As I duck back down I say "Apparently herding cats is really important if you're a Terminator." I start laughing, the other two look at me like I'm crazy.
"Come on, we might be able to sneak out the back when they come in the front."

There's a short lapse. We're standing outside at the back of the house. It's a narrow grassy area. The grass is vividly green. I notice there's a drop off in the landscape, and I start to jump across but Annie grabs at my shirt, throwing me off balance.
"There's a hole there!"
I know she was just trying to help so I try not to be annoyed, I jump across the gap and pointedly think that I should be glad someone was looking out for me.
From there I can see a river and a concrete storm drain, and a thin spidery hand gripping the edge. The sight of it scares me. It very slowly releases its grip and disappears, I'm relieved that whatever it was didn't leap out and kill us. I follow the river, it hooks around to the front of the cliff where the house is perched.
I notice a deep birds nest in the grass with a clutch of bright turquoise eggs. I'm thinking they would make fantastic food for my companions when a man interrupts me. He's about 60, straight backed and tall. He's wearing all faded black, green and grey. Black pants, green vest, plaid shirt, with a worn black cap.
"What are you doing? Are you stupid? Don't touch those!"
I snatch my hand back but disturb a patch of grass. One of the blades lashes out and slashes an uneven mark in my throat, it's deeper on the ends than in the middle. I see a view of my throat and the cut, and my hand pressed over it. I scramble backwards and he regards me moodily.
"Well? What are you doing?"
"I didn't know this land belonged to anyone."
"Oh so you can just explore as you like. Serves you right for touchin' things that don't belong to you."
He gestures sharply and I know I have to follow him into the house. He whirls around to face like his conscience took hold and forced him to do it, he examines the cut. "Yer lucky. If it had been fully matured it'd be poison."

We go inside. There's an extra room now, a kitchen. He sets a pot on the burner and asks me terse questions while he makes tea. At some point he changes into a young woman. She looked a little like this , she's wearing all grey. Her hair is pulled back into a loose bun, when she looks at me I notice her eyes are pale pink rimmed in an angry blood red. I feel like it would be easy for this to become a nightmare. She seems to seethe for a moment, then she presses her lips together tightly and turns back to the tea.
"Did you take something from the field?"
It's about then that I realize I have something in my hand. "No." I lie.
"I can feel it on you, give it back!" She hisses. Suddenly she's the old man. I don't see the change happen. He towers over me and I hold out my hand. I have three tiny blue eggs in my hand. He swipes them from my palm. I wonder if I should tell him I have something in my other hand too. As he turns back to the stove he breaks the eggs into a pan.
"I thought we couldn't eat those."
"It's only fine if the keeper of the land prepares them for you. I have the secret." Now he's the woman again. I get a close up of her face, her eye color is odd, like there's a texture to the color. Hammered, or like a shell, seeming flaky. There's even a small fleck of pale turquoise above her pupil. They're very pretty.
The front door is now beside me, it stands open, I look outside and see Annie and the other DC beckoning to me.
"Go then." The pink eyed woman says sternly to me. I see another close up of her eyes. I start to leave and then I turn back.
"I just wanted to tell you, your eyes are such a pretty color."
She smiles a little.

Lucid
((The parts where I see him as Liam and become Saja feel different, like I'm on the edge of being lucid, but I don't make any choices. I just have clarity.))

The beginning is a little hazy. I was a member of an archeological dig in the desert. A man from the government came in to

find a missing woman and debunk our findings. He was being an irritating, arrogant ass, who kept ignoring facts and wouldn't listen to me.
There's a tent pitched alongside a wall, the wall looks like it belongs to the outside of the house I grew up in in MA. Out of the corner of my eye I see a dirt floor and observe all the 7x10 photographs tagged to the canvas. The government agent, Jack, is speaking to a blond woman who pins another photo up and then exits the tent. It annoys me that he's still following the evidence this way, because he's ignoring the danger. He has his back to me, he's wearing a black suit, white shirt, with a thin black tie. He considers the line of photographs, hands on his hips.

I can't help myself. "Still refusing to follow the facts, I see." I say to him. He turns around and drops his eyes to the floor, smiling

a little.

"Oh. Hello again, Brenna." ((I've never been a Brenna before. Huh.)) He ignores my jab and looks after the blond woman

as she makes her way down the narrow canvas hall. "I was sad to see that she had dyed her hair."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"I have a particular weakness for women with black hair." He gives me a significant look, it's almost playful. He's giving me the

option to ignore it. It's only then I realize that I'm Saja. My hair is waist length, black and wavy. I'm even wearing one of her dresses, the hem falls mid-calf, it's a spring green-yellow with a white apron. I draw my hair over one shoulder and smile. He walks over to stand beside me and examines another line of photographs. As he crosses the floor, the wind snaps the canvas overhead creating gaps for the sunlight to stream in. Where it shines on his hair, it makes it look less brown and more red. The longer I look at him the more red there is. He suddenly reminds me of Liam. It's only when he's standing next to me that I realize he's the right height, too. Before I had seen him as my enemy and would not allow myself to find him physically appealing, but he's opened a door and I can't ignore it. Because he looks like Liam.

I turn to face the wall of photographs. They all look the same to me. It's dimly lit snow with a faded splash of blood.

"Well. As long as we're sharing. I can't help but notice how much red you have in your hair...and I have a certain fondness for

redheads." I stare at his profile while he looks at the pictures, and see a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

I fix my gaze on the pictures, pretending to look at them, knowing that as I turned away he looked over to study my profile.
"Look at us. Being civil. Can't have that, can we?" He comments wryly. "Why did you come here?"
"I want to try one more time to help you see the truth, Jack."
"Brenna." his tone is sharp, warning. His expression turns cold. "I don't have time to listen to your tripe."
"TRIPE?" I exclaim, suddenly outraged. "Oh YES. Why bother with facts when you can make up whatever story you like!"
"You were falsifying your findings and when you needed proof that these 'creatures' exist, you murdered a young girl to fit your story."
"You are so incredibly wrong. How can anyone stand to be around you?"
"Well, naturally I'm offended by deception. Honest people get along with me nicely."
"Oh, I'm sure." I snap sarcastically.

There's a lapse. It's after dark. I'm fleeing the tent because I've stolen evidence. Jack caught me at it and is pursuing me with ill

intent. I also overhead him talking about the undercover agent in our unit that was meant to disrupt the core stability of our group, to try to suss out who exactly the murderer is. The landscape looks like the yard outside the house in MA. Where there is a small hill leading down into the neighbor's yard, the lawn fades into sand and the landscape becomes a desert.
I'm barefoot and I can feel the cool sand under my feet. I get a brief bird's eye view of his pursuit. I'm shouting over my shoulder as I run.

"How can you be so willfully blind? When all the evidence is right in front of you!" The dune to my left is, I know, actually a

sphinx that has been swallowed by the desert. I run my hand along the front paw, clearing it of sand. There's some sort of creature nesting between its front legs, close to its chest. I eye the thing and hope it hasn't noticed me. A little ways further there's a stone wall and a line of open doorways. I think I've lost him for now. I jog up the next dune and at the bottom of the following valley is our research and living trailer.
I'm inside now. I pass a guy who looks exactly like Sendhil Ramamurthy. I ask him where Nate and the new girl went off to and he says to the kitchen.

"Will you get them for me, I just found something interesting." He says.

Attachment 4750 I suck at describing this crap, so I made another layout. I cross the living room and go to hall, the door to the kitchen is slightly open and Nate has his back to the door and the new girl, who is Jack's undercover agent. She doesn't feel right somehow, she is raising a large kitchen knife.

"HEY." I say loudly. They both turn around, she drops the knife and looks a little embarrassed. "Looks like we found something.

You wanna follow me?"

They follow me back to Sendhil. We act like I didn't just find the new girl about to murder Nate. Sendhil talks about how he

just found some proof that our group had been infiltrated, but we won't know by who until we can get all the hands together in the morning. The new girl looks extremely awkward, I wonder why I'm not saying anything.

"Jack is on his way here."
"We can meet him outside if you need some time." The girl offers.
I grin at her a little, her cheeks flush. "Sure. Whatever you like."

There's a lapse. Sendhil is trying to show me something, it's a really confusing image. We're looking at something like a mirror

or a tv screen. There a thin metal frame around it and it glows a dim blue. He's sitting right behind me, chin on my shoulder, urging me to look and see for myself.
I see my own face, and his. I can't really remember what happens here. I notice the shape of my eyes, and the curve of my jaw.

There's another confusing moment after another lapse, he says he's going to meet Jack outside. I say I'm going to follow but

when I pass the mirror in the living room I'm a fat young man with pale green eyes and cork-screw curly hair. Then I try to put on my shoes but I forget my socks, and my shoes are shaped all funny. They look more like a walking cast. I don't want to get sand in them when I go outside. So I take them off and try to find socks...

There's another lapse and the story picks back up. I have traveled to a snowy place up north, I have tipped Jack off, telling him

that if he follows me there he will find the proof I've tried to convince him exists. That the woman he thinks I've murdered is actually here and alive. I meet him outside the house, he's huddled next to the wall. I sit down across from him.

"Oh, I didn't realize you'd be here." He says.
I let him pretend I wasn't the one who gave him the tip, and remain silent.
"He said he'll come get me. The girl wakes up every morning at the same time, like clockwork."
"I'm glad you're here." I whisper.
"Are you? Well. There's that at least." he pauses. "We're on different sides."

He looks so much like Liam that I forget he's Jack. "LIAM." I say, leaning forward so my nose is almost touching his. "Do you really think I care about that?"
He doesn't look startled or confused that I used the wrong name. He meets my eyes squarely and shakes his head once, just a little. I can feel my name on his lips. I want him to say it. He's never used my name in the dream.
I will him to call me Saja.
He opens his mouth like he's going to speak and then closes it.

"At least put your arms around me, then?" I say, disappointed.
"I..."
"It's cold."
"I can't."
I want to kiss him on the cheek but I don't. "Fine."
"I'll...see how things play out."
"As you wish."

He smiles a little but he looks sad. We hear the front door of the weathered shack open and we go inside. The girl we have come here to see, lost her fiance out in the snow. They thought she would die. Physically she recovered, but once she woke she would just do nonsensical things and spout gibberish.

"Can we speak with her?" Jack asks.
"You can try." Says her grandfather. "I'll give you ten minutes." He leaves the house and we proceed in trying to talk to her.

I don't remember any of what she says, but she goes over to this small round table by the door.

"You might want to be car---" she deliberately runs into it. "Yes. That's right, keep running into the table."

She and picks up the lamp, "You might want to not---" she then leans forward and knocks her head against it. Hard. "Okay, sure. Knock yourself out."
Jack kind of rolls his eyes at my sarcasm.

"I don't think we'll get anything useful from her, do you?" I ask him.
"I'm gonna talk to the grandfather again."

Now the girl is laying on the table, cuddling with the lamp, her head hanging off the edge. Her skin has an unhealthy blue cast and her eyes look strange.

"Odd are the hours that meet us at the gate." She says. I frown at her.
"What gates?"
"The ones on the edges. IT lives beyond the gates. Follows every grain."

She's really freaking me out and I get the sense that she actually did die out in the snow and whatever THIS is, is no longer human. She's changing into something else. Her lips look blue. She reaches out and grabs the front of my shirt. I tear it out of her grasp and join Jack outside. I'm am done with this creepiness.
He gives the grandfather his best and we start to leave.

"I guess that settles it. You didn't murder her."
"Someone sure did."

He stops me and gestures at my shirt. There's a splash of luminescent blue on the front. Just beyond him I see two tonberry trundle out from the darkness, carrying their lamps and stylized blue knives. There's a glowing blue orb on the ground, they're attracted to it. One of them starts to come toward me. Jack pivots and sees the tonberry.
"Uh oh."
We watch as the second tonberry viciously stabs the blue orb and absorbs its energy. The other one stops in front of me and makes a weird keening noise. I take off across the snow.
"What are you doing?" Jack hisses after me.
"I'm running ya moron. I'll be fine."
The tonberry follows me to the edge of the lake. Running is fluid, so easy. I dive in, and hear a splash as it moves out into the water. Swimming is even easier, I glide effortlessly through the water until I reach the other side and leap to the bank. There's a large snowdrift there, and on the other side I know is the road. I climb over the drift and fall into the snow on the far side startling three strange turkey-peacock creatures into flight. There are three giant zebras in the road. They are the size of draft horses, I know they are extremely aggressive. I grab a handful of snow and pelt the zebra stallion's flank hard, and then dive into a snow drift to hide.
A second later the tonberry bursts through the snow hill I climbed over, the stallion is offended, thinking that the tonberry hit it with a snowball...so the zebra tramples the hell out of it.

Gleefully triumphant that my plan worked, I wake up.

Fragment 1: Creepy
I'm on the edge of sleep. I feel heavy and the room feels off like there's someone in it with me.
"I hope she isn't here again." I think. So of course when I drift off I see a picture of a girl with chin length dark hair. At the time I didn't think she looked familiar, but she looks a little like Sailor Saturn. ((Completely freakin' random, but whatever. It's less random than strangling a bear and harvesting happy clams from it..)) She's standing in some version of my room, she's got a long-handle mace, it looks like bone and there's an evil grinning face painted on it with blood.
NOPE I think and force myself awake, but begin to drift immediately. When I fall back asleep she isn't there.

Sharks
I'm an eleven year old boy with pale skin and dark hair. I'm in the water with my older brother, he's only a couple of years my senior. We're clinging to some sort of wreckage. The water feels enclosed like a lake, but is behaving like the ocean. I get the feeling it's supposed to be part of a resort but all I ever see is the water. We never intended to be out this far. Something has happened that forced us into the middle of the lake. We look around for other people, over by the side of a boat there's another boy, that one is younger. Seven maybe. I grab at my brother's shoulder as I try to catch my breath.
"Do you see that kid over there?"
"Yeah--"
"We have to help him!"
We see movement in the water and see a dull nose bump the body, searching. It's a shark. It's...nibbling, searching, until it finds one of the boy's feet.
"Adam." I say, my brother just watches, horrified. "ADAM."
"Why are there SHARKS here? Why would they do that?"
I shake my head in frustration and I let go of the wreckage and swim furiously toward the little boy and the shark. Somehow my movement startles the shark and he lets go. I get a hold on him and kick to the surface. Someone leans out of the boat and gestures to me.
"Hand him up!"

There's a lapse and I'm treading water where I rescued the boy. I'd been unconscious. My head hurts. I feel something bump against the small of my back, then my shoulder.
no, no, no I think, trying to right myself so I can figure out what's going on. Teeth start to close around my hand and I jerk my hand free. If I keep moving it won't be able to grab me. A wave smacks me hard, rolling me under the water. I get a terrifying visual of the shark's head and jagged teeth through the hazy water.
Then Adam is there and pulling me to the surface. An old man leans out of the boat and drags me onto the deck before giving Adam a hand. I lay there and quiver violently. There are patches of skin missing where the shark had nibbled at me, and the flesh on my hand is a mess but to my immense relief I can still move my fingers and it doesn't even hurt too much.
"You're lucky, that other boy lost his foot." Adam says.
The old man grimaces and hobbles away. I see that all that remains of his feet are the heel and he's put metal caps over the bones so he can walk. Other people have similar injuries. One woman is missing her whole left arm.

Fragment 2
In a narrow kitchen. Everything looks like a dim yellow. A short, hunch-shoulder Mexican man, hands in his hoodie pockets. At first he looks normal, he casts a frightened look over his shoulder. I approach him. When I get a little closer he drops his head and grins a little. The expression is really unsettling.
I'm tired of being creeped out, I swat his shoulder.
"STOP THAT."
He looks startled, then afraid.
"Sorry." but he can't help it. He does it again and I force myself awake, roll over.

Fragment 3:
Sitting in a booth in a diner. There's someone across from me but I can't remember his face. It was like we were on a date.

Fragment 1: Songs
In the beginning of the dream I'm amused by how this song sounds like this one. I even see the music videos playing side by side, but in the dream the lyrics to Colors of the Wind are a stupidly obvious echo to the other song. I think "Did they do this on purpose?"

The Clockworks, the King and the Key-knight
Beneath the main building where I work, a tangled mess of hallways, tunnels, and offices stretch infinitely down into the earth. There are too few people to occupy the whole space, and much of it is dark and has been abandoned. I see the office from outside, the walls are a cool blue-white. The lights are dim, casting most of the hall into shadow. A door opens and I emerge from it, a woman slightly taller than me (with two others standing nearby) pats me on the shoulder and ushers me out. I'm naked to the waist, she hands me a pink hoodie to cover myself so I pull it on and zip it up. I thank her for releasing me. She smiles and walks behind me to the stairs leading to the surface.

There's a lapse. I literally drop into the scene, through the roof of the porch. There's a woman who looks a little like Olivia Dunham from Fringe crouching in the yard, she's telling a story about her father. She smiles wistfully, her hands clasped to her chest.
"That was before everything happened." She waves her hand and snow dusts the porch, the wind grows colder. Her father rolls off the roof into a drift then rises and brushes off his shoulders. A dark vaguely rectangular hole appears behind him and two men leap out, dragging him back into it.
"Before He sent his knights to take us for food. Before the Mel...Melisand...Mellisana." She says the word haltingly, like she's read it but hasn't had a reason to say it aloud. I stare at her profile, then she turns her head to look and gives me a distracted smile.
"He'll come for us until we're all gone."

I walk around the side of the house, I feel like time is running out. From this angle, the porch is actually inside and it's a hallway. The room is long with yellow walls, but not very tall. Maybe 6 foot walls? There are picture frames and mirrors hanging everywhere. There's a woman there, I recognize her as the one who gave me the hoodie.
"Now, pick a mirror and I'll paint over your reflection to improve your features." She gestures without looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye I see that she's holding a paint brush.
"I can't, you never found me a shirt when we left the tunnels."
"That's ridiculous--of course I found you a shirt."
"No really, I'm naked under this."
"Take it off anyway."
I frown doubtfully then shrug. "Okay." I take off the hoodie and stand in front of a small square mirror, a 6X6 with a thick glossy black frame. I can't clearly make out my face, but I don't necessarily look pretty. My hair is too wild and my features uneven. It doesn't matter, she'll make me pretty.
"This will be my last painting. I'm going to the ISP."
I become aware that my boyfriend is listening to me talk.
"Really? That's where Justin went." (He's one of my IWL co-workers that transferred to another store.) "He used to work in ISP before moving on, if you need help you can ask him. He's nice."
"I won't know what he looks like."
"Here, I can show you." We follow the wall, there are pictures everywhere that they posted IWL after the store meeting. I can't find the one I'm looking for and I can't even focus on the pictures for long. I can feel my boyfriend's scrutiny like he's suspicious because I mentioned a male co-worker by name. "All these pictures are of people dressed like batman. They're all Batmans. Batmen? Hahaha BAT MEN. That makes them sound like giant bats with man features." ((My subconscious is so stupid.))
All the pictures were taken at night and there are 6 or 7 men and little boys dressed up. In one a man holds out his cape out to the side with one hand, and I can just barely make out a younger man's masked face blending in with the cape. "That's the only reason he was able to hide so long, he blended right in."
Then I say, "It's weird that Justin isn't in these pictures. He really likes Batman."
The woman walks away, "Never mind, let's get you painted."

It's not really clear what happens next. A man that looks vaguely like Jaime Lannister appears. He's wearing a red-brown leather jacket and carrying a sword (of course). He herds us into the depths below the building where the King is waiting to eat us. We are surprised by his betrayal. Everything is dark except the path we walk on, it ends in a circular platform, and then across from that is a narrow walkway. The five of us huddle on the platform. Jaime is on the narrow walkway. In the middle of the sentence a giant hand reaches out of the wall behind him and plucks a large old key Attachment 4725 from the center of his back with enough force to pull him to the ground. He collapses against the wall, horrified that he has led us here.
We are comforted that he didn't do it of his own volition.

The queen has the body of a woman and ball with a clock on it for a head. She's pregnant. She's standing in a bright white room with intricate circuitry lines tracing every surface. A vaguely human-shaped creature that looks like slowly cooling lava, carrying a giant axe, leaps out of nowhere and knocks her to the ground. It raises the axe as though to kill her and the King's large hand reaches down and flicks it across the room. He helps his queen up, but cuts off her head. Her head and body work independently.
"I should have know you wouldn't let such weakness stand." She says, her voice crackling. I can feel him smiling, but can only see his hand, which holds up her head at about his eye level before he discards it.

I don't think I want to recount the first half because it was kind of...pornographic and that makes me uncomfortable. The last half had to do with a clothing store/sewer. The scenery was vivid at the time but I can't remember it now. I try to get past this young woman and her friends. She keeps making fun of me.
"Why don't you like me?"
I see myself as she sees me and I'm a little disgusted. I've always been well endowed in the chest area, but to her it looks grotesque. I'm wearing a pale green shirt, my breasts look huge.
"You're disgusting, that's why." She looks me over critically and I feel a stab of shame. "You're not even wearing a bra!"
"What do you mean, of course I'm wearing a bra." When I see myself from her point of view it's obvious I'm not, but as soon as I say that I am. She grabs one of my breasts and I slap her hand away.
"Fine, turn around." She rolls her eyes and exchanges a meanly amused look with her friends. "You're not wearing it tightly enough."
I frown and I decide to leave. She mutters something and I yell back at her.
"I'm only a 36--" I realize that isn't true, "A 3...a 32G."
"She can't even remember her size, obviously she's lying."
"I'm not, you can look at the tag on my bra if you don't believe me."
"That isn't necessary."
"Why do you have to be so mean, I only wanted your help. Is it so difficult to help someone instead of ridiculing them?"
She frowns and stares at the floor then smiles a little, it seems genuine.
"Fine. Whenever you get to the end of the road, go and see Dr.______, he can help you."
"Thank you so much."
"Whatever. Don't talk to me again."

I remember pushing a cart through a clothing store and thinking that I need to buy some shorts for summer. I wonder if they have anything I like.

I watch Vampire Diaries but I've never been invested in Elena and Stefan as a couple. So it's a mystery to me why these two pop up so often. The dream stories revolving around them are always bittersweet, about the inability to choose between love and duty. A sad slow spiral away from each other but unable to stop reaching.
So this is how it began:
The world is washed out, tinged yellow with storm light. The world is beginning to fall apart. Elena and Stefan sit facing each other, knees touching, in a scattering of dead leaves. Cupped in Elena's hands is an ugly ring. The metal is thick heavy silver. The fitting is a threaded hole about half an inch wide. The stone is the size of a crystal door knob with an eight-sided cut. It looks like tarnished mirror with flashes of iridescent pink. Where she touches its surface magenta sparks leap into the air then disappear. They have to make a choice between each other and doing what is right.
Elena grimaces and unscrews the stone from the fitting. This is not without risk, they are linked by the stone and whoever discards it will begin to forget the person it links them to. She will even forget where she has hidden it.
She rises from the ground and walks away, Stefan still sits in the leaves staring forlornly at her as she retreats. It seems so terrible. The world is dangerous and they could die, he doesn't want her to die having forgotten him. Still. This is necessary. There is more at stake than their own lives.

There is a lapse. Elena has hidden the stone and taken up with a woman who should be her ally. I'll call her Kara. I don't get a good look at Kara so I can't describe her. Elena is leading her somewhere. It's dark outside and she pauses, unsure if she has lost her way. Kara pulls a long glowing knife from thin air and presses it back against her forearm. Elena senses it and knows she's been betrayed without turning around.
My mind rallies for a moment and thinks incredulously "You're formidable! You can't just stand there and let her knife you in the back!"
Elena narrows her eyes and pretends she doesn't know what's happened.
"Oh please, I've been deceiving people since the beginning of existence, don't insult me by pretending you don't know. Turn around and stand still like a good little girl." Kara says. Elena tries to remember why it's important to fight, why bother? It would be so easy to stop.
As she turns to face her enemy, Kara's knife flashes out. Her reflexes decide for her and Elena only just dodges, then ducks under another swing. The knife cuts through the fabric of reality leaving a glowing slash in the air. Elena turns on her heel and slips between the world into the Nevermind.
It's almost like a physical representation of her memory. The world here looks a little like where she left Stefan, but she can't remember that. There are thick white swathes of fog obscuring sections and black text is typed into them 'nevermind'.
She escapes.

There's a lapse and I see Kara standing in front of Stefan who is still sitting in the dead leaves. She pulls the stone from her pocket and smirks down at him and watches the conflicting emotions play across his face. He looks horrified and delighted. He only just keeps himself from reaching out for it. If he takes it and somehow finds the strength to discard it, he will forget Elena as she has forgotten him.
"Oh, look at you." Kara says like he's the cutest thing she's ever seen, "Resisting so hard. Here. Let me help." Kara has a walking stick with a silver handle, she uses the end of it to turn his hand over and then presses the stone into his palm.
"nnnoooooo." he moans.
"Yes." She smiles and pats him on the head. "I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world with that precious little gem." She sounds too smug to be sincere.

There's another lapse. I see him sitting on the ground. He's doing a voice over narration, telling the story. I've missed part of it, so I focus and the scene pauses then restarts. A text log even pops up so I can read what he's saying.
"So what do I do? I still have an option to cast it away. If I do I won't even remember that I've done it. Where is the loss in that? Can I miss her even if I can't remember?"
As he's thinking this, he stares down at the thick ugly band without its stone. "I couldn't stop myself. What we had was like a drug, I could not choose to cast it aside. Not again." His expression is equal parts resolute and sickened, he begins to screw the stone down into the fitting.

As this is happening random dialogue starts to pollute the text box like it's a chat room. It really annoys me because I can't read what he's saying. I notice there's music playing. Someone says the song is perfect and someone else asks who the band is. Another person says the band name is "Mm...Perhaps the Fish?" It seems to fit them exactly. They kind of sound like their underwater and at one point make a 'glub glub' noise.

My alarm woke me.

This one has been a long time in coming. I used to get things like this all the time. I'd dream something and then days (sometimes years) later I'd see it in the waking world and I'd remember.
My clearest example: Years before I would move to a new state and start at a new school, I had a dream that I was in a place I didn't recognize, looking out onto a stage. There are a ring of teenagers with papers in their hands, sitting on the floor. There's a boy with a bright yellow shirt and white-blonde hair with this back to me.

In 2001 I moved to Indiana, they needed someone for a small role and invited me to play it. At our first meeting, I'm standing on the left wing of the stage, watching them setting down into a ring with the scripts in their hands. Zach has his back to me, he has white blonde hair and is wearing a bright yellow shirt.

Usually it isn't so clear. The conditions have to be just right. So there I am, standing in front of my hall mirror. I've never braiding my hair in front of this mirror before. I can hear something from the bedroom, I don't have a hair tie so I turn away from the mirror, thinking about undoing the braid and getting dressed for bed and the trip my boyfriend is going on. I see the hall (obviously). Vertigo strikes me and I stop, god it feels familiar. My boyfriend's shoes at the end of the hall, they haven't been there very long, he's going on a trip tomorrow. That's the only reason they sit where they do. The portable heater is also at the end of the hall, the lights are on. Of all the hundred times I've turned from the mirror and walked down the hall, it's only after I've braided my hair and the shoes are there that I'm stricken.

I had forgotten how strange it feels. I vaguely remembered a dream I had when I was a kid, when I was a long ways off from living in this duplex. Turning toward a hallway, seeing the heater at the end of the hall, a pair of shoes off to the side under the ironing board. I can't recall much more, in the dream the other rooms felt...busy, like there were people in them. Sort of wild, unhinged.

I should go to bed, I have to get up early. I have some things I wanna work on tomorrow when I get home from the airport.