All DJ Entries

October 8th 2021

I was in a desert. I was climbing a sand dune. On the other side there was a man. He was about my age with shoulder length dirty blonde hair. He wore sandals, shorts and an Aztec print jacket. He sat on his knees in front of a headstone shaped ruin. There were four heiroglyphs at the top of the stone. The far right resembled a monk, to its left there was a male monkey and then a female, I instictinvely knew both were Divine. The heiroglyph to the far right beside the female was yet still imperceptible. Beneath these there were sygils drawn in chalk as well as vibrant gems of various shapes and sizes intentionally set inside cavities of the ruin. He was methodically moving these gems as if trying to solve a puzzle. Beside him was another ruin that he had used as a book shelf. It was full of books. I tried to speak to him but in his concentration I was a fly on the wall, not even as annoying, just there. Without looking up he pointed to the top of the sand dune to our right, “He will help you.” An older man suddenly appeared at the top and beckoned to me.

The old man was kind. He talked to me as if we were old friends. It was mundane conversation. He was agile for his age. He told me to follow him. He led me into a library. It was not grand or ornate but it was beautiful. The cielings were high but not extravagently so. There was a long stained wood table that sat in the middle of the room. There were paintings on the far right wall. There were more than just books on the shelf, ancient artifacts and magicks. The room resembled the ambiance of an old church, it was sacred. It reminded me of the The Sistine Chapel. But the energy here swelled like nothing I have ever experienced before, not even The Pope himself could compete. I gasped. The old man nonchalantly meandered behind the desk.

An old woman, very old, approached me. She was inhumanly tall and lanky. She hunched under the high cielings. She wore a long black and purple dress that seemed as frail as she and hair as white as light fell to her waist, given her height it must have been as long as I am tall. “What are you here for?” “I don’t know, he guided me here.” “Oh, you’re one of those. I will find what you need.” She was gruff but kind. She headed towards the back wall. She pulled several books out from the shelf and grunted with dissappointment at each one. “I will find one that is for your level.” She pulled out a small rectangular book and tapped it, with each tap the book changed in cover, shape and size. “Here we go.” The book title was “—- dreaming.” I did not recognize the first word but it was not lucid. I got the feeling lucid dreaming was no longer sufficient. I asked her how I was supposed to keep up with the book in my dreams. “Oh, they come and they go when they are meant to.” I do not even know how to read in my dreams but somehow I knew that would not be an issue with this book. I asked how the man I had seen in the desert had a bookshelf full of books. “He has ways I could not even gain access to.”

There was a man staring at a painting on the wall. I stood beside him and stared at a painting to his right. I recognized it. My heart felt like it was going to burst open. I turned towards the old man behind the counter and exclaimed, “I recognize the painting, what is it?” He nodded towards it. When I looked back it had morphed into something else but it was imperceptible, like the far right heiroglyph. The man beside me was looking at his own painting changing shape and writing vigorously in a note book. I do not know how I knew but I knew that these paintings were exclusive to the viewer, a map of sorts but instead of directions they were guides? The old man told me that I was not ready for that yet. Behind him someone limped out of a doorway. It was my Papa.

He was frail. He used both canes. He was as thin as the last time I saw him but wore the same smile. He leaned up against the desk. I spoke with him casually. I asked him where we were. He explained in his own vocabulary that this was a middle world, a joint between spirit realms. I asked him why some of the older, even ancient, individuals I had met here were so agile and he was not. He said, “You all just have better genes for this.” The old man behind the counter said, “Speaking of, I think I am growing weary. I am going to rest now.” He stood up slowly, he seemed his age now. He walked through the shadowy doorway that Papa had limped out of. The dead could only visit here. Papa said he needed to go too. We said goodbye. I said I love you.

Last night had lots of dreams. not sure if I'm remembering them all. New Dexter series on paramount+ . Loved the first episode, Use to watch the Original with my cousin who passed a few years ago.

Jamie 1

An HH flash of me walking in bowden at night. Jamie drives past me while looking at me. She smiles.

The voice get's all excited when I woke up. "I saw you." She said. Note: when I see her in a Real life "Drive by." Her voice will often say, "I saw you!"

Jamie 2

Another HH flash We're in the plack space. Jamie brings me a box of doughnuts.

Yup. I agree. Best way to keep me from getting Hangry and splitting is to brings snacks. (No dried fruit or anything. Pure chocolate and sugar junk is good.)

Wrong girlfriend

I walked past Jessica in a dream. for some reason I thought she was Jamie. I acted all friendly but the girl wasn't having it. She said something like, "I didn't do anything with you because you didn't take any initiative."

I woke up and asked the Jamie voice about the dream. She said that wasn't her in the dream. As for the initiative thing, we've already covered that - I'm just dense, and can't tell if any flirting is serious or not, leaving me to usually shrug any hints off or miss them altogether. Direct approach is what works best on me.

Jamie confusion?

I was in a flying car... might have been semi lucid at one point. I had a phone or tablet display in the middle of the dashboard. It was a message from Jamie? but it said: Joanne. I landed at the house. got out. A girl that looked like Jamie started kissing me. We started really getting into it... like really getting into it. In the back of my ming I couldn't get the name: Joanne out of my mind. I still wasn't sure if this was Jamie. The Jamie voice in my head said, "Robert..." as if to ask WTF I was doing. We kept kissing.

I checked with the voice when awake. Apperently Jamie remembered kissing too. Not sure what happened there.

Driving

A dream where I was driving a motorbike in calgary. My brother was there or something. I went to Crowchild, but it was these big hills... and it was snowing. I was really nervous to drive it.

13th

Hoof
All the beasts with rubber hooves, fall flat as the dawn of our escape arises.


14th

Cold Soul
In the midst of a storm a nephew is born. Swaddled in secrets, he is hushed my way. He is mine to raise. But he can't be raised, cuddled or caressed, spoken to or stressed. He is a shimmer, like the foremost frost of a fatal winter soon to suffocate our world. I can do nothing but let him lie and leech what is left of the warmth from our lives.

Grinner
On wings of wild rose whips and patchwork slaps of flesh, it lurks in long shadows and laughs at our feeble steps. We can't find its face but its dagger grin glows, goes, glows again. Terrorize the trio who now rue their hunter ruse. It lurks, lingers, laughs at pretenders who claimed they could outwit pristine sin. Sun surrenders the sky. With naught but our wit and the wakening stars, we must somehow fight our way. A flicker of lucidity is swiftly screamed away.

Dec 12

Before getting into the dreams I'll note that I woke up with the intention of doing SSILD, but fell asleep way too fast. I seem to be falling asleep much easier these days, so I should probably increase the time I spend awake during WBTB. The day before I regularly preformed RC's, but they were short ones since I was low on energy.

💤- Multiple Video Game based dreams. The first I remember was Minecraft. I spawned in a forested area near a tent-like structure. I remember after looking around a bit I tried showing arrows at this alien thing with long limbs. It was tall and orange. After running out of arrows, I hit it until it died. Just the the spaceship thing it was on started to chase me. It looked like a golden blocky head with a turkey on top that controlled the direction of it. Once I was far enough from it that it couldn’t detect me, I walked around and marveled about how good the updates were since I’d last played. A structure I remember being in awe at was a giant igloo. I also thought that I felt much more immersed in this game than I normally did (probably since I was literally in the game). I eventually ended up going to a pirate ship and that’s where my memory ends.

💤 - I was walking around a carnival trying different stalls. Remember a dark purple colour that I believe was the colour of most of the stands and tents.

💤 - Another dream I remember was much more dungeon like. I remember going into different rooms through different passages in this giant maze-like building. At one point I ended up in this pond area that was closed off from the rest of the room with walls, and almost lost all my health because of a monster I almost couldn’t kill.

After that, I went through another passage to this dark room with multiple strange structures and objects in it. The first took up maybe a sixth of the room and was against a corner. It was a structure with two levels. The first was built up of two walls and a staircase that led to the second floor but nothing else. The second floor was open to the rest of the room, and had what looked like a tiny town on the railing surround the floor.

The next structure I looked at I don't remember well, but I walked up a ramp and slid something into place that made a big cube next to me start glowing.

The cube was a head or two taller than me and equally as wide. There was a doorway with jagged sides that allowed access into the inside of the cube. The whole thing glowed purpled, and two blue lines stood out on the outside of the cube. Upon closer inspection they looked line the beginning to lines in the app 'Flow Free', with a circle marking that start. I then noticed that the entire outside and inside were made of squares with line on them, and that I had to rotate these pieces so they continued the light blue lines until they reached their end point. At some point these switched form rotating pieces to puzzle pieces I could take apart and put back on.

Around this time I also head the voice of a mocking little girl. It filled be with a sense of unease, and upon searching for the sound I found it came from a black cat. I watched as it spoke to me, and a part of me knew it wasn't actually a cat.

When I solved a separate puzzle inside the cube, the little town that sat on the balcony began to glow, and I knew form a clue I saw earlier (I believe it was a picture of the same town that had one house with the lights on) that the next part of this puzzle room lay there. I unfortunately didn't get to continue, since I woke up by this point.

One last detail I found interesting was that everything in the room was a darkened gold colour, until it was activated as a puzzle and began to glow. the only exception to this was the purple and light blue of the cube.

Maybe A Jamie sighting while I was on 2 A between Dids and Olds. Dodge Caravan? Voice suggested it was her. I was on my way to do a piano 10 minutes east of Didsbury.

Strange

I was with Jamie. A small creature was attacking me. It looked like it was infected with that thing from, "The Last of Us." Jamie said it was cute and wanted to hold it. I tried to explain it was dangerous and she might have seen tendrils try to attack me before I killed it.


What?.

I was in some building. Some woman attacked me. I stabbed her. She didn't die and we fought or something.

(I'm in a rush to type. I have to get pizza for everyone.)

Dream about Sam and Dean from Supernatural. They had wonky hair.

False break up

I was crying because Jamie apperently broke up with me


(Voice said we didn't break up. We had a very nice morning, talking)

Somewhere, up there, shines a life. Attempt ascension. The shadows snicker. Steps scream in protest. Am arrested by an empty embrace. "Where are you going?" the hinderer asks. "Don't know," I confess. Encirclement slips. "Do you love me still?" "I did and still do. But crave you? I can't," slips my tender rant. Shake off shadow. Back upwards. Back outwards. Back into bright fortune or dazzling doom to suffer strange sunsets and numinous moons.

Migration
West is a scarlet wall. Dark shapes mount horizon, flocking, floating, flapping. And we, willingly blind to magnificent now, miss all the soaring signs. Geese of golden feather. Silver swans and herons hum their sacred hymns. Pterodactyls soar on pearlescent stingray wings. Even as I see them my eyes remain quite blind. Their dreamy reality soars straight over my mind.

The Spark
Her world is fluid blue, of sparking scales and flickering fins, of predators and hungering things. Despite the death above, below, beside, she sparkles while avoiding eyes.

The Bereaved
Roads are a clot of cars. My feet will find a way. Cringe through inching chaos, sing through this slow escape. A cousins home hunches, desolation heavy. They sit in silent pain bereft of wit or words, wrapped in sorrow and shade. No solace shines in me. Children swarm. Sip dark drink. Eat their fill of ant swarmed dates. And then he is present, he who had passed. He plays for us a song. Guitars shriek, lyrics slip from a host of haunted lips. I wish it otherwise but no solace shines in me. I leave.

The Jesus voice was telling me to give more Bible study for Jamie. Like I said: Saved by grace through faith. That's How The Bible speaks to me. I know it can seem confusing especially reading contradictory things. Jesus taught faith is what saves. His examples of strict laws in his sermons are to show us how helpless we are under the law and why his grace is needed. The new testament is written by many authors. Paul is the grace guy. Other authors were about works. Paul was sent to evangelize the existing early churches to teach them grace, not law practice. People like James wrote his epistle before the events in Acts chapters 14-15.

Now study some things in the Old testament regarding grace. Some examples: The story of Sampson - a man who never listened to God's commands, but at the end was given strength once more because of his faith to accomplish his task.

Other things in the OT that testify to Jesus. Cain vs Abel's offering. Jacob and his brother Esau. Jacob gets his brother's blessing for dressing up like Esau for their father - much like We get saved by Jesus' perfect record so God doesn't see our record but Jesus.

Avoid certain churches that teach legalism - faith plus works. Many church goers are like the Pharisees that Jesus was always against.

Anyway DREAMS.

Crazy

I'm in Fortnite or something. I'm shooting at a juiceWRLD skin while running up a ramp. Me and my team get shot out. We are falling and suddenly we are all tied to this metal wire thing. We are falling slow mo.

I look over at Jamie... She's tied to the falling thing too and next to her is a porn star looking woman. The woman's boobs are hanging out... Not hanging... But sticking out. Like two giant balloons are under the skin. Her and Jamie are vibing. Jamie is seduced by her. Then Jamie whispers to her that she also wants to do drugs... It's here I wake up.

And ummm. Like I already said. I live a clean lifestyle. I don't mind people who smoke weed. Anything risky at all I'm not okay with (especially Coke). My current living situation is not an emotionally safe place. I'm not looking to escape from this place into another unsafe place.

As for the other thing. Not much to say. If one thing is going to Tempt her into another thing. I wouldn't do it. I have my own sexual temptations as well. Jamie knows them if she really hears the voices in my head. Jesus has told me many times when tempted that it leads to death.

I had a Jamie dream last night that I can't recall.

Work

I was working with my Dad. The house had newspaper all over the walls... He told me to sand them.

A resistance of souls, wise and rising, encircle flame. All souls laid bare. Sift through clusters of confessions. Devise a way to reclaim light. Not through protest nor through fight but secretly through self empowerment. Offered a simple meal of milk and fruit, at first decline, I am disgusted by their gentle gambit. Then I partake, perhaps they're right. Passive progress is progress still?

She, of spectral grace and ethereal face, fills the shadows of my steps. A surge of sweet words, melodious inklings haunt the hollows of my heart. Turn to embrace her, to finally face her, am struck speechless by the light of her thin halo. Be still shuddering soul. Let her shimmer come and go.

Nodded off earlier this evening.

Heartless
Adrift in dark upon the fringe of some swift dream, she may be dead. Disembodied fingertips claw deep into her naked chest, hold open the hollow part in which should rest a precious heart. From her chasm, shoots take shape, leaves unfurl and flowers shake. Fingers uproot all the striving life living in place of her nowhere heart. Tatters drift my way. Catch them. Take them. Run away. Before I can replant her soul the softest of sounds shakes. Awake.

Push through a season's rage. Try see some secret entity that only takes its form when world is whipped by monstrous squalls. Mid quest, one hunter turns. His laughing breath heaves frostily, "There are no monsters here. Except the ones we bring... you see?" His spirit is a snarl. He lurches into screaming sleet. We hunt the hunter now through tempests of this deathless freeze.

Hardly any recall. The conversations with the voice seemed distant during the days. Mainly because I usually spend hours lost in things that occupy my full attention. The Jamie voice was complaining about it... I think... Today. Anyway we still seem to connect well at night. I haven't been waking up as much in the middle of the night. But at night time it's a normal routine of prayers and trying to sense one another in spirit.

I had a dream like vision that seemed like a microdream with Jamie in it. But I can't recall what it was about.

Jamie

I was somewhere. Maybe in a house. There was a woman there. The lighting wasn't great so I couldn't see her. She said she was my girlfriend. I said, that's impossible, I already have a girlfriend and her name is: Jamie.

The woman said that SHE is Jamie. And I was like Nuh-Uh. You don't look like Jamie. I have a picture of us right here. I look at the picture and I see a man with glasses.. but it's not me. His arm is around his girlfriend. She has Jamie's hair.. but not the same face. Also wearing glasses. I was about to tell the woman that it's the wrong picture... But I woke up.

I guess I'm still not seeing Jamie as herself... No wonder she doesn't show up as often... That must be frustrating.


What?

A random dream where I had to hold a giant white thing to fly around. I was trying to beat another guy with a flying thing... I couldn't fly certain areas because I kept running into powerlines? Um okay.

Spiral
Soft hills of softer moss roll into evermore. No beasts, trees, teeming seas, just we and eternity. He waits for some something. I yearn to explore. Step and search. Step and search. Spiral further away from he content to sit in his tranquil nowhere. Spiral. Search. Spiral. Search. Wander to a well in the heart of this green spell. What secrets lies beyond it or within?

Awake
A stampede of boys. A scatter of toys. The world is chaos cast. When worst is past, trip through wreckage of what were once my rooms. There, hunched in the gloom, an unadorned son with script scratched into his back. His eyes are a haze like far off horizons, overcast, laden with dusk. In silence we sit on each end of life, discerning the dreams that we are. Some comfort is found in our stretch of no sound, awake to each others memoir.

Shining
She says goodbye to the beasts in her mind and flays away the rags. Bare as the sun from the white pines she comes, falls into a sea of red flags. No eyes cast sight on the naked and bright shape of her soft, silent dance. I see the glimmer of her raw ghostly figure as it breezes my way by sheer chance. She whirls along to some intrinsic song only meant for the fresh and the free. Swiftly discover I desperately love her. Wish that her shining was me.

A morbidly beautiful experience last night.

I am right but left for shadow. There shines no comfort from the moon. There spills no softness from the stars. But from the swell of the abyss his voice sings my most secret songs. Suddenly, the severed belongs, is soothed, stitched, deliciously shaped into a panther, shapeshifter starved for souls. We are power and poetry wrapped in realms of unlit lust. We hunger. We hunt. We feast on the bitter essence behind bones unrefined. We are one.

Almost forgot to post - Long, emotionally toxic day going to Calgary and back. My family is not a safe place emo6. If I had it my way... I'd go back to loving them from a distance.


[B]Jamie 1 [/B]

Just a short dream of flying in the sky. Jamie was with me... Or around me. I literally felt the love from her. In dreams emotions are so intense. I felt so much love from her it was euphoric.

Jamie 2

Sort of an HH dream. I'm in my normal bed. Jamie gets in bed with me. She has brought a baby and put it between us. We all snuggled together warmly. Again feeling the love.

On that. Sudden infant death can be caused by a parent rolling on to a baby while sleeping. I love the sentiment. Just safety first. I just hope we have a 50 to 100k a year business each before a baby. Times be tough right now.