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Date: 15/09/2021
Bedtime: 2.45am
Awakening: 7.15am
Return to bed: 9.15am
Method of entry: dream consciousness
Awakening: 11.30am
Attempt: successful
Phase experience: The Relative Experiment
Duration: 55 seconds

WAKING STATE

I return home from a school run with a strong intention to enter the phase state and carry out the experiment set by Project Elijah. I feel too awake when I lie down on my back so I decide to relax and meditate.

PHASE STATE

I am resting on my side with my eyes shut and hear a male 'radio' voice in my head. It's reassuring me that together we can overcome any problems and ended with, 'Don't worry, I'm always here if you need me ... I've got your back.' I feel like I have discovered a strong ally from my subconscious and take the voice seriously enough as a possible helper that I might wish to summon in the future. As I remain still, pondering about the nature of my own mind, I fall asleep.

DREAM STATE

Me and my wife are in the back of a red convertible, speeding down a motorway under sunny weather and facing the rear end of the vehicle as we watch a long stretch of road from our backseats. Our chauffeur, who seems to be a good driver, is unknown. Suddenly, I notice a naked man holding on to the side of the car. I leap in his direction and, fearing he might be trying to hijack our ride, attempt to kick him off it. The nude character proves to be quite agile and swiftly jumps to the bonnet and holds on for dear life. I begin to cautiously approach the miscreant in the hope that I might be able to strike him but this one moves to the driver's side. He holds on to the side mirror and struggles with the driver; wasting no time, I come to the rescue, managing to push him off the vehicle as it grinds to a halt with sirens growing louder.

The police is right behind us and the naked outlaw makes a dash for a barn on the side of the road in order to hide. 'There he is!' I yell at the cops as I give chase so as to not lose sight of the fugitive. I enter the barn and glimpse him escaping through a gap in the next splintered wall. Rushing to the gap, I break loose planks of wood in order to widen it and become astonished at the rustic vista beyond as I practically stand on the edge of a gully. 'Where did he go?' I look down and see a river shimmering in the sunlight. 'Am I dreaming?'

PHASE STATE

I plunge into the river from a great height without any regard for safety as I know I'm dreaming. The water feels just right. When I resurface and begin to swim along the steep riverbank, I notice that the scenery has turned into a vibrant, picturesque village. The riverbank is now a row of buildings and I leap out of the water to grip the plastic sill of a third-floor window, climbing upwards and turning my head to behold the rest of my surroundings and knowing that I am supposed to do something for Project Elijah. That's it! This is my opportunity to encounter my deceased mother-in-law Sandra and communicate with her for 'The Relative Experiment'. I glide away from the windowsill as I make out a building that stands out from the rest: it's an impressive black silo, clearly cylindrical and wide enough to remind me of a giant bin, but majestically adorned with gold-plated lines and a cross. The entrance is guarded by the figure of a black man wearing a cassock and I immediately take the structure to be a church.

'That's where I'll find Sandra! She's inside the church!' I go over the priest's head and fly all the way to the top of the silo, revealing it to be open and offering me direct access to its interior. I gradually descend to find myself landing between rows of pews and an altar, next to which is an open coffin. I hear the unmistakable coughing of my mother-in-law and witness her figure sit up from the ebony casket. Despite her strikingly realistic form, I am not scared even if a part of me emotionally entertains the possibility that I might be in the presence of Sandra's spirit. In fact, I want it to be her, but I also want to know exactly what I'm dealing with here. She looks and sounds so real! Her trim silver hair, her facial features and her familiar voice are on the money! She is well groomed, sporting a silky blue shirt and her frame is strong and healthy—contrasting her gaunt appearance in her final days. She seems distressed as she coughs and appears to be clearing her throat. When she is done, she looks up and bursts into tears before we have an emotional cuddle and sit next to each other by the altar to engage in the following conversation containing the questions I had planned beforehand ...

Sandra: 'What took you so long?'
Me: 'I'm here! How can I make Stacey happier?'
Sandra: 'Look after my girl!'
Me: 'I will, no worries. So ... What is your afterlife like?'
Sandra: (Cheerfully) 'Oooh, I've been to the moon! I've been to marvelous places! I can go anywhere! I've got mushrooms ...'
Me: (excitedly thinking of magic mushrooms and that Sandra might show me what she experienced via psychedelics) 'What? Let's take them!'
Sandra: 'Come, come!'

She gets up and takes my hand, leading me towards a doorway revealing another room with a few people gathering around a banquet characterised by a lot of fruit. Before I can enter the room with Sandra, I wake up unexpectedly.

WAKING STATE

I dash off key observations about my lucid dream and reflect on the experience. It is not the first time I meet Sandra, or deceased loved ones for that matter, in the phase state, but it is always an intense and emotional experience. Seeing and talking to them fills me with joy and I always act as though it is really them. Deep down, I want such figures to really be them and not mere products of my mind.

In hindsight, Sandra answered my first question regarding my wife as I imagine she would. Undoubtedly, my mother-in-law would want me to look after her daughter in her absence from the realm of the living. To the second question, Sandra replied in a manner giving a strong impression that I was really engaged in a dialogue with myself. I didn't realise it at the time, but, retrospectively, the fact that my mother-in-law said she had been to the moon coincides with my original plan to meet her, which was, 'Fly to the moon and find Sandra there.' And affirming her ability to go to marvelous places and anywhere she wants parallels my attitude to lucid dreaming and its possibilities.

The very first thing Sandra said to me in this experience, which was ask what took me so long to meet her, can tellingly reflect my internal dialogue after finally manifesting the conditions in which to execute this experiment. The mention of 'mushrooms'—which I instantly took to be the fungal growths containing psilocybin—in the reply to the afterlife question also seems out of character for the real Sandra and more pertinent to my own experience with psychedelics in my twenties. I often imagine deathbed visions to be akin to psychedelic trips brought about by the release of endorphins!

Nevertheless, there is a desire to believe that such experiences are encounters with the spirits of loved ones who passed away. Deep down, with all the emotions that this experience brought forth, I reluctantly refuse to dismiss, altogether, a scenario where I have communed with the real Sandra—who had access to personal memories of experimenting with magic mushrooms and used it to convey to me what her afterlife has been like—however improbable it is.

comment lucid dream

A considerably shortened version, it was 20-30 minutes dream

A very nice non-lucid in the 4th cycle, very light and mostly conscious sleep afterward. After an hour, I feel the 5th REM trying to start (vibrations starting and dissipating), but my mind is a bit too awake. I cuddle up with R. A minute later, vibrations again, and I finally relax into them.

The beginning
I see grey blurry spots and R is holding me tightly from behind (IRL we are in a spoons position, with his arm over me). I can barely move. Am I dreaming already? I don't want to risk moving in reality or opening my real eyes, so I close my dream eyes for a moment. But then it feels pretty stable, so I try to free myself. R holds me tighter and won't let go. I have to wrestle with him, and gradually the visuals come in, grey and blurry at first, then clearer and sharper. I throw him to the ground. He's lying under the table, all I can see of him are his legs. I want to unsummon him with a snap of my fingers, but I can't snap, so I just leave the room and forget about him.

TOTY
In the hallway, wondering what to do next. I don't expect anything from the dream, I have an unstable sleep in the morning as it is, and if R moves in reality, he'll wake me up.
TOTY comes to mind first, I don't expect to finish it, but why not try.
I walk into a larger room where a lot of old people are sitting at tables.
I call out, "Hey Dream! Superhero time!"
"Who can tell me what superhero I am?" I ask.
Two old men raise their hands. I point to one of them. He says something to me, but I don't understand. I lean over to him to repeat it, but I still don't understand. I call out the other. He says something that is more of a feature than a name.
"It's about the name. I am a superhero. Do you know my name?"
His eyes light up, he understands, he nods. He doesn't look old anymore, more middle-aged.
He says four French words.
Oh. Okay. "Could you repeat it?"
He repeats it slowly, and I say it after him. Word by word, sometimes he corrects me. We spend about a minute on it. Then I repeat the whole thing. He nods.
Nice. I start to ask about my powers but realize that's the second task. I ask about the costume and get the answer that it's in a cupboard there.
The entire wall behind the tables is made up of cabinets with doors, drawers, and compartments. I open a few and find random things, but nothing like a costume.
I walk out of the room, down a wide corridor, and there I see a toy store. That looks good. And I see a costume rack!
First on the rack is a burgundy dress with ruffles. Nice, fantasy, but not exactly superhero style. The second is a child's spiderman costume, that's closer, but it's not quite my size.
The customer who was talking with the saleswoman leaves, and I ask her:
"I am a superhero. Do you have a costume for me?"
She nods and hands me a toy wrapped in clear plastic. It's a bee, with a black and blue striped body and red details.
I'm confused. "Do you want me to use the colours? To have something made in these colours?" She nods.
Behind her stands a man, thin, stern-looking. He says something like I know there's a message there.
I walk out of the shop. I unwrap and take apart the toy, nothing.
But okay. Good enough. I continue out of the building, repeating the French name to myself. I should wake up and write it down, but no... I don't want to... I'll probably wake up soon anyway.

On my way out
I walk down the wide staircase, repeating my name to myself. I look around and suddenly I'm confused - where am I? Am I awake? Or still in a dream?
I do a nose plug RC and it fails. WTF. This again? (It failed for me for the first time 8 days ago.) I look at my hand and I have a sixth finger. That's better.

Flying
After training in a few previous shorter dreams, I'm getting much better at the swimming technique of flying. I take off, below me is a nice park built into a slope, further ahead are some fish ponds and behind me is a city.
I'm practicing faster flying (I'm still not good at that) and flying upwards, at altitude (slowly, but steadily). For a while, I just float on my back and fool around. Some people in sport suits run by, there's an air-running race going on. Then I try to spin and create a tornado, but I can't get enough speed.

Underwater exploring
I remember the goal of underwater exploring and fly into one of the ponds. It's deep enough to put me underwater. But it's extremely muddy, I can barely see anything. There are frogs croaking around. I try to breathe, and I have to remind myself that in a dream, you can breathe underwater. I can, but it's uncomfortable, a bit like inhaling mud. I have to keep reminding myself that it's possible. I don't like it in there, so I fly out. Better to try this in the sea, which has better associations. I sense the sea beyond the city, so I head there.

Chatting with KD and Vikings
I end up on some street with street food stands.
I try to recall the superhero name. Was it Jamon (with ch/[x] sound)? No, that’s ham in Spanish. It was French J. I vaguely remember the rest of the words too but I am not really sure.
My friend KD is there.
"Don't you mind that you sleep and dream too much?"He asks.
"I'm dreaming right now," I reply.
He voices some more criticism of my supposedly unhealthy lifestyle, but I shrug.
"Don't you think you've been here too long?"
For a moment I feel time dilation like I've been here for hours, but my rational self is quickly back and I estimate the time so far at 20-30 minutes.
There is now a wooden table next to me with a bunch of Vikings drinking beer.
KD continues, "What about your body, how do you know you're ok, what if you're in a coma?"
The Vikings are more interesting.
One of the Vikings is trying to rip a piece of wood from a bench to use as a wooden sword to fight me. I don't know if I want to fight. He has long dark hair and a Viking haircut. I kiss him on the mouth.
"Is this what you want?" He asks, a little surprised.
He gets up and walks around the table away, I go with him.

And I finally wake up.
Not remembering the name at all.

Total time IRL between cuddling up with R and waking up - 30 minutes.

Two Saturdays ago-I had this nightmare. It starts off with me being in a maze but inside the maze looks to be like the instead of Beast's castle. In the middle of the maze there's what looks like a statue. But it's kind of looks to be a cross between Disney Moana but she's in a Belle-like dress. She says she's cursed and I asked what's the story behind it. And she tells me both her family and a rivial family lived on a pacific island-during one weekend(?) they both have this "pancake" competion. This one time-the "statue's dad go over and the rivial family basically murders him and he turns into something like Moana's shell necklace (The heart of ?). The rivial family then turns the shell necklace into a pancake which the "statue" family (including the statue) eats but when they're "eating it" -what looks like ketchup-(but it's not ketchup) starts to leak out and in a horror sort of way starts to speak. And it speaks for awhile and one of them (the statue?) eats all the "pancakes" but the "ketchup" is still there and is ANGRY and is like a literally circular wave on the plate. But I woke up and didn't go back to sleep again