Recent DJ Posts

To preface this, I have to admit that I didn't really lucid dream on acid. This would probably be even more fascinating, if it wasn't for the inability to sleep while under the influence of such substances. Sorry for the clickbait-ish title - I just had to call it this.

Anyway, it all started with a long non-lucid dream with the usual mess of changing people, places and storylines. At some point I ended up observing a plot in which a teenage girl dosed her unprepared friend with LSD, who was then having a difficult time... The story ended and it turned out that I had been watching a video on youtube. I proceeded to some music when I suddenly saw myself in a reflecting surface and noticed my own huge pupils. This made me "remember" that I (too?) was on acid (yeah, that's obviously how this usually works *facepalm). I just laid back and enjoyed the effects which mainly consisted of some strange visual phenomena and a pleasurably relaxed, slightly confused headspace.

At some point I "woke up" and wondered how I could have fallen asleep in the first place and that it was too early to wake up, that I should still be tripping. Nonetheless, I went into the living-room where I found my niece. This seemed even weirder as I knew she was away for holiday. While hugging her I pinched my nose...and could still breath. Now, this seemed to clear things up for me. Gravity disappeared and we both started floating upwards, until we went straight through the ceiling. Suddenly, I was alone again, now floating in a gray mist. I wondered what to do now... While I was perfectly aware of my current dream state, I still took the previous events as waking reality. And so I ended up believing that I was indeed lucid dreaming on acid...

Under these circumstances I thought that I'd be able to conjure up almost anything - which I normally fail to do. So, I just asked my subconscious to take me to a beautiful place. At first, everything turned dark but I waited patiently (despite questioning if this would work). Then, an intense sensation of being accelerated built up throughout my body. I felt like being shot out of a canon, flying through darkness. Slowly surroundings began to form again. I was flying at breakneck speed along a street with forest on both sides. When I was nearing a bend, I slowed down and finally came to a halt. There it was: A mountain lake shimmering in the sunlight, surrounded by trees of the darkest green and huge mountains to either side. I was in complete awe, both by the sight and that this all was even possible.

Then, I was accelerated again and taken to another mountain road with a picturesque hotel. The surroundings reminded me of a real place with a huge volcanic crater nearby through which I always wanted to fly in a lucid dream. So, I just went into that direction. When I crossed the ridge, my wish was fulfilled and I could indeed fly through this amazing landscape that almost looked like a canyon. With an euphoric feeling of freedom I navigated through the changing scenery.

When I came closer to the other end, I started waking up...and slowly realized that it all - also the first part - had been a dream. The whole story made me laugh quite a bit.
My two take-away messages are: Even if one is lucid enough to be aware of the own dream state, memory and rational thinking can stil be heavily impaired. And, the limitations that I experience in lucid dreaming (and analogous in waking reality) are ultimately only self-imposed.

15th July 2021

Fragment:

(recall going from later to earliest bit)

I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold.

The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move.

(just before this)

I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation.

Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production.

R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age).

Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started)

(there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream)

---

Notes:

- This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months.
-- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities.

- The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end.

- There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.

13th July 2021

Fragment:

In space, Freelancer setting. I'm in a beautiful looking system, but fairly simple and generic. One white star? An ice asteroid field in the distance which I think I'm approaching. I'm with someone else, who's in a different ship, maybe T? Or an NPC like Juni. We're sneaking or getting away from something and we're taking unmapped/unknown travel routes, the type pirates and bounty hunters and freelancers use. This dream might have been from when my alarm went off, I don't remember resetting it.

Fragment:

Some interactions with other people. There's a context of survival and maybe one of servitude too (slavery? maybe not though). Most of this dream takes place in an indoors setting and it's daytime outside. There's an overcast characteristic to lighting. I recall some bit where I'm helping someone, they pass me a long-ish cardboard box which doesn't look so strong. As I take hold of it, it's bottom half sort of drops off from the upper lid section. A glass or metal thing drops out, it sounds like glass smashing.

It's an electron valve or something? But I don't remember looking. The person that was passing me the box, a lady, gets upset with me, but we quickly get over it and we do something else.

(recall gap?)

Now I'm on Minecraft. I've just spawned in a new world. It's an unusual ravine locale. I am near and sort of under a 5x5 pillar and then I look around and up. The pillar goes up, a hundred or so blocks, as do other similar ones in the ravine area. Over this pillar is a railroad track laid on top of oak planks going from one side of the chasm to the other.

The natural stone pillar has decorative stone bricks at the corners in a semi-random fashion and the other pillars are similar. The chasm or ravine is longer than it is wide but seems to mostly be rectangular. I don't recall noticing any ore at all. For some reason, I just fly up and look around. On the rail track, minecarts are going around. They have loot chests on them and I quickly inspect contents as they go past. They seem reasonably OK.

I think there's another track that runs carts in the opposite direction, just nearby. To either end of the chasm, in terms of longitude, there are these sort of old West mineshaft entrances, which half look like a barn or house. They are built into the natural rock walls. My dream knowledge of the area makes it feel like a classic DOOM map, like actually behind the stone walls there's nothing, as if they are just set dressing.

I go into one of these mine entrances and it has more loot chests which I inspect. I hear zombies nearby, but ignore them. Then I feel like I hear our doorbell but I start going into a dark stairwell made with oak plank stair blocks. On some level I start to question the reality of this and wake up and ask H if the doorbell had really rang, but no.

---

Notes:

- The Freelancer dream was nice even if a lot of recall went. I always enjoy those dreams because of the way space always looks more realistic than the game did but it still looks more fantastic than space would actually look like anyway. The system was a bit like some Sigma or Tau systems but "felt" closer to core systems.
-- The dream plot was a generic story/campaign plot, as far as I can recall. I don't recall what my ship was like.

- I think I haven't had lucid thoughts very much until that dream where the doorbell noise manifested. Notably, the dream entry that follows for the 15th also had a lucidity cue.

- I would like to think about the symbolism of situation surrounding the smashing object in the second fragment but a bit too tired to think about it, hopefully come back to it at some point.

I am in what looks to be some kind of large home improvement store, having travelled here to meet up with some people. It is a very large store: towards the back, the aisles actually turn into streets, which is where I need to go. I’ve been this way enough times to where I’ve got the route memorized, and when I reach the signpost with a number of street signs, I take a left onto Montaigne Street.

Montaigne street has a rather sleazy vibe, with a sort of over-the-top neon-over-historic-district aesthetic. But it seems completely confined to this particular street, and then it’s back into plain downtown area. However, something is strange: the street I’m looking for doesn’t seem to be here. This is an area full of little winding streets, so I look around for a bit to make sure I haven’t missed it, then head back out to where the store begins and go along Montaigne Street all over again. But the street really seems to have gone now.

I go back to the store area and browse the stationary near the front as I consider what to do next. Maybe I forgot to check something, and the meet-ups aren’t happening right now. It’s going to be a few hours before I head back, and I need to figure out what I’m going to do for dinner at some point. I also decide, in a moment of latent lucidity, that I’m going to change the name of Montaigne Street to Montero Street, as that seems to fit it better. In the end, I just decide to look around the store for a while longer.

Towards one corner, I find a series of furnished rooms. They’re a bit like display rooms you might actually find in a home improvement store showing off appliances or furnishings, only these ones seem to be set up as miniature haunted houses. I enter the room on the far end first, one that’s almost completely dark. This one seems to have a “pet ghost” theme. As I explore the various furniture and parts of the room, certain things happen, triggered by my presence, such as noises or motion, and even the visible ghosts of cats. But I don’t find the place scary at all. It’s actually rather relaxing. I lie on the bed in the corner for a while listening to things rustle and thinking about dead pets from times gone by.

After a while, I move on, going into a couple more rooms I can no longer remember before heading into what’s clearly set up as a haunted nursery. This room has a lot more light coming in, so it’s easy to see the furnishings, most prominently, a young child’s bed – not actually a crib, but something that seems made for children about that age, maybe from an earlier era. The bed is dishevelled, and there are several piles of feces either on it or on the floor nearby, hinting towards neglect. It doesn’t really look real and definitely doesn’t smell real.

As I examine a chest on the side of the room facing the store, I suddenly see a large group of ghosts standing together, looking in my direction. One of them, an older gentleman in a suit, gestures that I should come over to them. I do, and they lead me to a long table set up for a meal. It seems that the store has staffed their haunted rooms with real ghosts, and now that they’re off-duty, they’re closing up the rooms and inviting me to eat with them.

It’s only once were seated and the meal begins – tea and pastries – that they begin talking, or possibly that’s just when I become able to understand them. The older gentleman is seated on my left, and we have a conversation in which I distinctly remember telling him about my cat, Thomas, who died 12 years ago.

At some point, the scene changes – the implication seems to be that time has passed, and I’m travelling somewhere with three or four of them. One opens the back door of a black car, and another climbs in. I realize I’m supposed to get in as well. I notice I’m wearing a smooth black coat coming down somewhere between my knees and waist and a pair of black leather gloves.

The scene changes further after that to a completely new setting – and while the store, at least, was almost certainly located in the U.S., this place has more the vibe of a developing country, possibly in the Caribbean. The man showing me around takes me past an area where many small boats are docked. He seems to feel this is a touristy area, not really representative of the place itself.

At a clothing market, somebody comes up to him. It seems he’s needed somewhere immediately, so it looks like I’m going to be on my own for the next couple hours. We agree to meet back up here in that general timeframe – this doesn’t seem to be a place where people make appointments more precise than that.

15.7.21

Bleached hair
11/07/20
-DEILD attempt

I’m upstairs with my wife. The house is in total darkness but I can make out her hair has changed colour and has gone a bleach blonde and looks oily and curly. I can’t believe what’s happened and I assume something must have gone wrong with her hair dye. “I’m sorry to tell you this but somethings happened to your hair” I say. She gets up and walks to the bathroom.

I suddenly feel odd, as though this isn’t real but it all looks and feels so real? I then go to turn on the bathroom light for her but no light comes on only a faint flicker? I think that’s odd and I suddenly feel uncomfortable in the darkness with no light. It’s then my wife turns and jumps on me, grabbing me like she’s some possessed creature.

This scares me and the struggle jolts me out of the dream and into the dark void. I’m now fully aware I’ve just exited a dream. All is black and I know I can get back into the dream if I try. “Dive, dive, dive” I repeat to myself. This was a mantra I had heard on dreamviews when attempting a WILD. It was all I could think of on the spot. I start to feel that pulling and falling sensation as if the darkness is pulling me into another dream but then I hear the sounds of the waking world and suddenly feel my body in bed. I am awake.

Analysis: Another nightmare scenario and again it took place in my house around my bedroom which is where they tend to occur. Funny thing is this time I wasn’t even sleeping in my house! Again as in other similar nightmares it all took place in the dark and the light switches didn’t work. A common nightmare trait and probably a fear that stems from childhood. It seems to be this that triggers some of my nightmares. It’s as if as soon as the light switch doesn’t work I decide something scary is happening and the dream morphs to fit that fear. In this case my wife turned possessed and attacked me which knocked me out of the dream and into the void but at the same time made me aware I was dreaming! I was almost lucid in the dream as well. I noticed something was off at the start but I was taken in by how realistic it all was. When I ended up in the void though I was lucid and able to think clearly enough to try get into another dream but the attempt sadly failed. Maybe I was too awake at that point.

1st dream - I was at my friend's house and I think there was a party. I saw this girl from my old school there too, and we were trying to use the ADT security system to arm the house?

2nd dream - I went to my old school and I had a new teacher and classmates. I remember getting in trouble a few times.

3rd dream - The sun was setting on the east, so I was confused.

4th dream - I texted one of my old friends that I haven't heard from in months.

Pretty generic but whatever

Notes: My cat woke me up several times that night by meowing very loudly. That was the loud noise in the dream.

Me and William are looking on a piece of paper to solve a mystery because there is a loud noise that is echoing in town. It's a very hard text to read because the letters look weird. We solve it and a mysterious voice tells us that we were good because we did not throw the coin away because it was important to solve the final riddle. Gustav and I ride a buss to the final destination where the evil old woman is. The bus is going forever so I decide to fly instead. I try to punch the window open but it won't budge. Gustav helps me too. The bus driver slows and and the door opens. We fly away and I ask Gustav if he can keep up with my speed. He says that he barely can. The flying is very smooth as we fly through the dark night. We arrive at the old house and the old woman was apparently Madeleine. We greet her and her new husband.