Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Traveling with my mom and for some absurd reason, we have to go through La Palma island as a stopover (currently, in RL, there is an active volcano on the island), We are left at a safe distance from the volcano, but the layover is taking much longer than was supposed to and we are put temporarily in a hotel as we wait. There is a big earthquake and the volcano has a massive eruption with a giant mushroom cloud that expands in our direction. We try closing all windows and seek shelter. My mom ends up going down a cave which she found to be accessible through an opening on the basement floor, and she gets lost in there. I try to follow her for part of the way, using a rope she used to descend, but at some point it enters a small hole I can't possibly pass through. Probably some rocks dislocated and blocked her way. I go ask for help but everybody is busy with their own rescues of friends and family members. One guy tells me there is a way to access the below cave she got into, through some pool of toxic chemicals jn another area of the basement. But I need to dive in and swim down until I find a passage to the cave and no way I am going to die swimming in toxic waste, so I just go back to the first entrance and keep calling for mom, trying to hear some sound from her.

Maybe same island, I live there with my mom and we work in some local factory making traditional handmade juices. I have a friend whom everybody thinks I like, but she is actually more like a bully whom I'd rather ditch. One day she drives us in her car to go explore some caves by the coast. She gets stuck in a small passage and can't get out. I try to help her, but realize she needs to be rescued by professionals. Instead of calling for help, I cover up the entrance as if there was a rock collapse and I take her car over a cliff into the sea so it isn't found. And I feel a mix of relief and guilt, but mostly relief. Nobody knows we were coming here together, so I have a good chance she is never even found. I still try to cover all tracks like deleting messages between us, etc. I also pack a bag to leave the town if I need to go on a run. But for a couple days no one even notices her missing. She was a bit wild, so even her family doesn't suspect anything if she is away without a warning. But eventually she is considered missing. By now I am sure there are no evidences linking me to her disappearance and all I fear is my emotional reaction in case I am questioned by the police. One day a couple detectives come to the factory, because she also worked there, and they interrogate us all in group and watch our reaction. They find me and my mom the most odd ones, and confront us, especially my mom, saying she was last seen going out from her work that day and apparently something had gone wrong in her work and mom reprimanded her. And she is clearly nervous. In my case they find strange that I don't show sadness or concern for my friend's missing. So I ask the detective if I can speak to her in private. And I approach her very confidently and explain I am diagnosed autistic and one of my symptoms is commonly not showing my emotions and that my mom is not diagnosed but even my psych said she probably is also autistic, but unlike me, she is overemotional and can sometimes lose control of her feelings. The detective feels a bit uncomfortable and I tell her I can show her my medical evaluation if she wants some proof, but she nods her head like "no need" and she looks ready to move on into some other direction.

Im excited this morning. I have really been struggling with recall and lucidity. I think my kratom usage has been sabotaging me. I initially started taking it for my restless legs so I could sleep. I didnt realize it was a trap. After a few years my doseage got high due to tolerance. Now Im am horribly addicted. Once I realized this still was starting to negatively affect my mental health, I tried to quit cold turkey. I was not prepared for that sort of living hell. I have since then tapered down quit a bit but its still been a nightmare. However, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am nearly done; Just a few more weeks. I only mention this as a fair warning to anyone thinking about or currently using kratom. Yeah its legal in most states but this stuff is far from safe. Dont the the pro kratom group lie to you. If I had known this is basically opiod addiction I would have never started it. There are even several reports of people having seizures and in some cases they die from it. Not to meation all the other various healt issues. I believe these people. They are just normal people like anyone and its not some big pharma lie.

Anyway, the real point of this post is that I dreamed VERY vividly last night. Maybe it was some REM rebound since Ive been dealing with horrible insomnia from the kratom withdrawls, I dont know. However, I noticed a dream sign during a dream. There were just random multiple tornadoes in the sky sitting stationary. I thought it might be a dream but for the first time ever, I could not blow through a nose plug. Maybe I subconsciously held my breath? I wasnt a real thoughtful nose plug. I was very disappointed I didnt blow through and felt something still wasnt right but I quickly dismissed it. Then went on to have a very long vivid dream of jogging through my old hometown and interacting with various DCs. It was a failed DILD but I am so excited at the level or recall and vividness. I hope this continues.

Also F kratom.