DarkestDarkness

30th July 2020

Dream: (DFLN thread) ^{(self-memo: be sure to re-read Sageous comment and my own reply)}

Was at some therapist's office. Looked to be a typical rented office space. I went in and saw a doctor "Hodstatdr Lester" ^{(note, this is my original spelling in the original entry)}, he insisted gently that I call him Lester.

He was a well-built man, with a mostly round head (bald?) and with a deep voice. He wore glasses.

We sat opposite each other on identical chairs. Lightly stained pine frames with blue textile cushions (deep blue?).

He began by asking me what he could help me with and by saying remarking something about whether or not it would be worth our time, mutually.

I talked for a little bit, I don't have a recall of the specifics but then I said I had two unresolved phobias. He seemed to nod compliantly and asked me to go on. I remember thinking about what I wanted to say, and then saying it, an unusual process for me during conversation.

"Well, one of my phobias is what's on your shirt." I said
"Pockets?" He said with a look of surprise.
"No" I replied, making a motion with my index running along my sternum.
"Ah, you mean buttons" He replied.

I interrupted with "Yes" because I had(have) an aversion to even saying the word at times.

"Well, you have a [unintelligible prefix]-phobia" He then stated.

I also had in mind that I wanted to talk about another unresolved phobia. But oddly enough I couldn't remember what it was (and still can't).

In any case, I said that this phobia name sounded familiar, and just as we were about to start discussing it, I woke up.

Original notes:

- While I felt like I could trust him, hesitantly, this feeling was mostly further compromised by the fact that the chairs were oriented in a way that made him be slightly my left and I to his right. This could have been corrected easily when I sat down, by simply turning the chair in a different angle.
- In addition, the room was large. 6x6 mtrs or so at a guess. But apart from our chairs it was a completely empty office. The floor was carpeted?
- Finally, there were two windows. One behind and left of the therapist (from my pov) and another one out of sight in the far right corner of the room. It was day time and so the two windows were the only light sources.

Scraps:

Mentalist dream, something about young children getting their fingers stamped with hot seals? This was part of some imagined thoughts at some point.

Something about being in my old home's kitchen, the light was on. Absence of light and darkness from outside. Odd. Mom and T were in the kitchen? Something about cooking, and then a bat flew in and mom notified us, after I'd already spotted it. It was light brown in colour, caramel coloured even.

One of the very first dreams? Was in a tank in some place near a warehouse and I was shooting civilians with tank shells, because they were being uncooperative somehow. I remember troops on foot scattering from a rear formation to take control of the civilians and the immediate area.

Some dream fragments. There was a third one but I have such a faint and vague memory of it, not even sure where I'd start. I practically lost the other ones while getting up but made sure to keep my eyes closed as much as possible until I could write here, which helped.

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Dream Fragment:

I remember being at some sort of concrete structure. I'm not sure if I was "me" but a couple of other people were here too, I think one of them was that Torres guy from NCIS. This place was dark and there was a massive abyss right in front of us. Across this abyss was another flat area made of concrete and there were some soldiers there. They were holding us here or something and they shouted that we should stay put.

The soldiers got on a platform and it started moving down very fast. They disappeared from sight. Somewhere down there was some light, but it must have been a literal mile or more away. Then some more soldiers appeared but this time they didn't wait for the platform and just jumped down where the platform shaft area was. I was intrigued but at some point in the dream I simply "knew" that at the bottom was a special fluid that would break any fall, no matter from how high.

Torres like the idea of just jumping across and into that specific area. I felt it was too risky. It was a long way down and there was no way to aim ourselves properly and the gap between the two concrete areas was quite wide. But he got on some sort of pole hanging from our side and got closer to the other side, hanging just over the middle. Then some soldiers came back up on the platform and noticed. They started shouting at him and warning him to stop. He ignored them and now he grabbed onto some rope that was hanging from the ceiling. That's as much as I remember clearly for this fragment.

I do remember there were no light sources. We were very deep underground most certainly, but somehow we had a light radius of our own, like in RPGs where the characters just give off light...

Dream Fragment:

I don't remember how I got there but I arrived at a small lab/office place. This dream was somewhat vivid, more than the other one. There were two researchers, wearing labcoats, and one of them greeted me. He seemed a bit uninterested at first but then he saw my boots. They were covered in some sort of pale golden sand. I realised I hadn't noticed this myself until that moment and he became very interested. He went over to a counter and showed me some tins with rounded caps.

The caps were all a shade of gold or tan. He asked me to see which one I thought was closest. I selected four of the tins first just as a guess. Then I held them and made their coloured cap be over my right boot in my vision. The first wasn't it, too orange. The second and third one seemed similar, the fourth one was too dark but the right hue. I compared between the second and third against the sand and decided the third one was the closest. He seemed happy with this and I felt somewhat happy to help. I made a comment saying "well at least I can definitely tell that my skill at recognising shades correctly has improved". I genuinely felt this was true in that moment and realise now that it was indeed a very accurate test of my skill in this.

The other researcher was just doing something on his own over on another counter but I don't remember what. Oddly enough, despite looking at my feet, can't be certain what the floor was like. Some sort of plastic tiles? Maybe wood. But square shapes. The counters were an off white on the top and a light stained wood on the cabinets. There were a couple of windows to the outside and I made note of the fact that it was daytime outside, but the room was quite brightly lit anyway with some fluorescent lamps that actually gave off a warm colour for once.

This whole dream bit felt like it was in sequence of the previous one or another one between them.

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Side notes:

- It could possibly be the first time while dreaming where I had to use a skill that I'd use for painting in waking life. For me this is a particularly good sign because for a long time I've wanted that context to come over into dreams in some form.
- The researchers wearing labcoats were clearly dreamsigns that I missed. The labcoat is a dreamsign I successfully managed to insert into my dreams as a dreamsign a while back, I think last year or the year before.
- The dust on my boots reminded me very much of gold powder in the dream. In the dream I had a much clearer notion of where I had been previously, which was relevant for that context.
- Despite looking at my boots and remembering them very clearly as the black leather army-type boots I have in waking life, I only vaguely remember my trousers and can't really say which ones they were. It seems odd that my boots are the only detail I remember clearly from looking down, despite the fact that in the dream everything was the same level of vividness.
- I do remember I was wearing some sort of dark hoodie in that dream. I remember it because I remember the sensation of having the sleeves pulled up, something I often do if I'm indoors.
- Don't have much at all to make note of from the first dream since many details are vague now, but the fall-breaking fluid definitely made me think of stuff from Portal and from Satisfactory.