NyxCC

I find myself in a room full of DCs and suddenly awareness increases to lucidity. I recall my thoughts from the previous night to try to score more points from the competition. There's a particularly distracting DC in front of me and I weight in the options of going for dream control vs kissing. I decide to go for the latter, explaining to myself I can do dream control a bit later. There are around 8 DCs surrounding us and I begin to feel uncomfortable.

Not sure what happens, whether a dream end or possibly loss of lucidity. It seems like a little black out but I return to pretty much the same scene, aware again. End of memory. Awake. Back to sleep.

Another dream episode where I become lucid again, different indoors place, I don't look around too much. Once again a lone DC catches my attention, though this time not as distracting. I have the feeling my memory of the previous dreams is becoming blurred as I didn't write anything down.

I take time to focus on the DC and save the memory of the previous and current dreams to this moment. I raise my fingers to count three lucid moments for the night.The dream ends sometime soon and I do a brief mental review prior to going back to sleep.

Date: 19 Sept

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: 60 mg caffeine (RB)

Non-ld fragment: I am trying to take a shortcut at night in this familiar from previous dreams city. In one of the dark streets, I run into criminal DCs with very bad teeth. A number of young people sitting on a bench agree to defend me if necessary and I go sit there. I find one of the guys extremely beautiful. We talk for a while, but they are leaving soon. I notice that his whole body is covered with small, shiny clear droplets of water and stare in fascination.

In love: Very deep sleep and my recall is not very good.

We are moving in the dorms because it is much cheaper. There are six beds in the room and a guy who already lives here. I ask if only two of the beds, ours, are going to be used. He confirms.

The dream goes on for quite a while with all kinds of thoughts about clothes, bathroom etc. Then it looks like more people actually live here and we will be sharing the room, now apartment with them. Someone opens the door and lots of DCs come in, new roommates, I think. This girl asks me questions about the admin, I don't understand what she is saying.

Bf is gone and this guy comes and talks to me. I realize that this is a dream but my mind is kind of foggy. I remember having thoughts about me being in deep sleep and that this is good for stability. The guy leaves and another one appears, I like him very much and remark that he shows some persistent DC qualities. He comes and goes several times but looks the same, gray t-shirt, black hair, some eyeliner even, a bit like Mark Terenzi. He also gives me a kiss. We talk for some time but my memory is really bad. The dream starts to fade, I lose my sight but I can still hear him. I tell him to keep talking to me, I will hold on to the sound. I can feel my eyelids and am careful not to mess this up, but soon the image returns. He gives me another kiss. The dream slips away again and I struggle to bring it back. He is on the other side now but looking totally different and there is another guy dressed with the same clothes and holding a similar colorful object. The dream fades and I fall into oblivion.

Falling: I am walking down the stairs talking to this DC. It looks like I have forgotten my handbag, I turn back and see it at the top of the stairs. I make it fly directly to my hands. The DC remarks that I am not supposed to do this while abroad. I have this warp-like feeling and realize that I never woke up from the previous dream. The B6 woman is also here in the background and I wonder if I should go and talk to her, examine her energy, and ask why does she always behave like that. At the same time, I don't want to waste too much time with her and risk things getting out of hand, so decide to just ignore her.

I am looking at a large modern glass vase that they are selling in this now shop and try to move it with tk, but not much success. I also try with an elegant china tea cup but I feel that I don't really want to be breaking these things. Finally, I remember Angel Falls and follow the plan of "here and now". The main idea is to use the turn your back technique. I already hear water running just behind me (like a fountain in a mall). I am in some sort of not very well lit mall too. I take a few steps back, concentrating on changing the surroundings. I actually slip backwards a few steps, which feels kind of weird and not very effective, but the surrounds begin to change a bit. I decide to facilitate the process of getting rid of the old scene and into a new scene by falling backwards.

As I do this, it's as if something immaterial swallows me and I enter void weightlessness combined with motion. I shortly see lots of greenery in front of me that is very similar to rainforest vegetation, but it quickly vanishes. I am speeding backwards in the void with this weird feeling of traveling through space at high speed. For a second my mind is totally blank and I feel stressed, I try to remind myself to keep cool, be patient as it seems to be taking too long and shortly pretend I am meditating. Then I try to concentrate on one of my visualizations and build the scene as I had imagined it. During the entire time of the experience, I hear the sound of falling water. It is much harder to concentrate and visualize than I thought, but I succeed in having lots of water flowing on me in the darkness now. I try to prepare the scene again even though it's not the right place where I actually wanted to start from. I am still flying backwards through space, this thing doesn't stop even if I expect it to. I briefly see the top of a barren hill with a non-human castle in the negative mood of some game or a game related dream. I don't want to be there. The falling continues and I finally find myself in bed. I stay still for a while but nothing happens.

Comments: is it just me or is it really hard to concentrate on anything while in the void. I have noticed this another time as well. The moment everything disappears, my mind also goes totally black and if my mind is blank...then there will be nothing to project around me. Maybe I need to think about stuff, rather than struggle to visualize.

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Pre bed: nada

Dream quality and recall: average vividness, deep sleep and challenging recall

Comment: there was an increase in emotions during daytime, which is evident in the dream as well.

Early fragment: some story about dreaming and accounting for lds

Dream: I am waiting for the train, then get on it. A friend of mine is supposed to sit next to me but goes in the other carriage instead. I am taking my shoes off, white socks. The guy next to me is already asleep. Then the perspective changes and I see four of them - friends dining together (without me). I become enraged and show them the finger. They raise their glasses and so do I. My shirt now has wine stain that I try to clean with a cloth, but the cloth is dirty so it gets worse. Then I remember that I can use bread and ham to clean it, just like my dad did. I also take a bite out of my "detergent".

Fragment: A girl from my class is attracted to me and is kissing me. Later the class meets and I have some concerns about her kissing me in front of others. (I don't even like her irl)

WBTB (+had some anxiety thoughts initially)

Mini-ld: I have a FA at home with the person I was thinking about in the beginning of the WBTB. He irritates me and I become angry shouting at him. I realize this is a dream (I read something about karma and emotions during dreams yesterday). My anger vanishes and I make a remark about this. I go on to leave the building. Unfortunately, I don't remember if I phased or how I got outside, just that I was trying to fly down. So I am on a balcony or window and want to fly down the way the girl does in the end of Crouching tiger Hidden dragon, slowly. I succeed in controlling the speed of the flying till I reach the ground, then I go up again. I think I woke up soon after that.

No notes, went back to sleep.

Mini-ld fragment: I am in an unfamiliar room and there is a man in front of me and suddenly I shout at him my anxiety thoughts. Again, I realize this is a dream, I am quite happy I was able to catch this again. I apologize, the man smiles. Unfortunately, I can't recall anything else, the dream ends with the void. I shortly try to summon Angel Falls, but the position which I am imagining myself is making me feel uncomfortable. The images fade away.

Mini-ld: I am on the street but feel like my dream control is not working very well because everybody is walking towards me daringly. A dog charges at me and I start some sort of thought/control manipulation to stop it, but in the end grab it and put it on my shoulder/head and neutralize it. Three female DCs are bothering me, I have no idea what they want. I remember I can escape from them by flying, so I fly just a bit above them. However, they can still reach me and I am coming down against my will. I only know one other way to deal with them and ask them if this is what they want. They say yes and I rip one of the girls' clothes off. I wake up before any censure is necessary.

Fragment: Thus guy I know is giving an interview for the newspaper

Date: 1 Aug

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Natural wake: 2x, impression of vivid dreams with fleeting memory after both wakes

Dream quality: very vivid, realistic and generally stable, lasted a while

Recall: I had to rush out of bed as was late, spent a few mins motionless after wake but the dream memory began erasing, reviewed dream during shower and wrote down 4 hrs later

Tech: snooze by-product. After the normal alarm I pressed the snooze button which was set for 15 more mins.

DILD+: The beginning of this dream is almost impossible to recall as were my very first actions while lucid. I think it was one of those from scratch dilds, where I suddenly appear in a scene.

The location is a non-existent room with an open view to the street of our first home. I look around and say something to the DCs in this strange room. There are a number of them, at least two are classmates. I have no idea what I said there, or what else I noticed in the first part of the ld.

Then I think that I'd better start doing some tasks as I worry that I will either lose lucidity or destabilize the dream by not engaging thoroughly. Haven't thought about tasks for a while, but look at my hand where I have mentally recorded my tasks irl. I recall 4-5 tasks. Any that involve leaving the room are out of the question, as I have the certainty that this lead to me losing control over the situation in this particular dream. So I decide to stay in the room and see what I can do here.

My personal "ask a DC" task comes to mind and I go over to the DC girl that looks like my classmate and ask her how to ld more often. She says a few words that don't make any sense. I repeat the last word she said, asking for a confirmation. While she is in front of me, she continues talking, but now I hear her voice coming from somewhere to my right. I find this kind of strange. Also, the DC of my dad, who only looks like him but has an aggressive nasty feel to him, is there. He behaves daringly, coming closer to me and then grabs me. For a moment I feel helpless as this DC is very strong. I struggle for a while, then recall a similar situation where I escaped a DC by thinking that he can't hold me because I have no hands/body. This works again so he lets go and I back away.

Hearing the girl's voice coming from a different location helps me remember I also wanted to do alternative voice experiments. I say a sentence, but I only hear my own voice. I gather more power and shout out. This time my voice sounds different and there is a pleasant resonance, a bit like echo, but not exactly.

I move on to the next task "transformation" and get ready do it, although I feel that my dream control powers in this dream are very weak. I notice that I am wearing my winter coat plus a hood and feel very warm. I just want to take those winter clothes off before I proceed with the transformation. I start unbuttoning the coat but then remember that none of my naked TOTM attempts were successful. I feel this will take too much time to execute and might destabilize the dream as well. I think about ripping my winter coat, but I just can't find the courage to do it. I go over to another classmate (male) and delegate the task to him.

My classmate does a very good job undressing me, the layers of top clothes just disappear in front of my eyes. Then I get carried away, sit on top of him and start kissing him, forgetting about anything else. A few moments later, I notice that I am sitting in the darkness, I guess kissing with my eyes closed?, but I still feel his body and the room. I begin wondering what exactly am I kissing, are these his lips or his tongue. Very confusing. I can see now, weirdly, his ears catch my attention and I zoom into some strange things there. I tell him that he will need to clean his ears later on.

I have no more sexy interest and think about the dream and that it was pretty stable and long. I am running out of tasks, and regret that I have no idea what this month's TOTM is. I decide that I will try to reach out for this information and my tablet magically appears in front of me. The browser as well as the virtual keyboard open and I want to type dreamviews.com.

The initial letters are fine, but towards the end, the keyboard letters are on the wrong places and reverse. I try to ignore the problem, tapping on where I know the letters should be. I type something close to dreamviews.cm and the page starts loading but the address changes to something like google, and the page that loads is google as well. Just instead of the google logo, it's something with less letters and reverse again. Disappointed I leave the tablet aside and look around.

I think at this point the dream ends, but instead of me going through the void, the dream skips forward to the next scene.

This leaves me a bit confused, as I expect to have a non-ld FA or wake up, so I passively start thinking about this. I remain disoriented in the room as the surroundings change and then gain back my clarity to realize that the dream continued in this strange manner. I am now in a very large furniture store, where me and my bf are the only "clients". It's a very calm atmosphere, crystal clear and extremely realistic. I wonder what to do in this room and see an empty champagne glass that I take with the intention of breaking. I am somewhat reluctant to do it, as it feels bad to be vandalizing this nice quiet real-life like shop. I playfully throw it high in the air, but instread of falling on the floor and breaking, it lands comfortably in my hand. I find this very cool and I do it again...

At this point the snooze alarm wakes me up!

Date: 22 May

Total Sleep Time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 120 mg gingko

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was very sleepy today, I guess that has affected my recall. My prospective memory and concentration during the lucid were not at their best either.

Fragment1: the dream involved Xanos, no other memory

Dream2: A class meeting again. It is late at night and we are discussing with the girls where we are about to go. I feel like dancing so I am totally fine with any place they suggest. I notice that they have put on some weight. My dad is over-protective and follows me around. I arrange to secretly meet with my best school friend and take her to a concert. I will buy her the ticket. On what I think is the next day, we meet in the morning and take the subway. She has moved to my city, it seems.

Fragment3: We are eating some mix of bacon and cheese, tasted very realistic

Fragment4: the office is closed, my dad is looking for something

WBTB: Took gingko. Recalled dreams and did some dream incubation during which I have fallen asleep.

Dream5: I am watching some trees from above, and want to change their color. It feels a bit like I am observing using google map. Soon I am at the place of interest, in the middle of a lake. There is an old wood-made ship close to the also quite old and dusty quay. I have a game like attitude and want to rearrange the whole place. I succeed in making more space where I want to. Then I am in the water, swimming forward, but it is not very pleasant because this lake is a bit dirty. There is also a fish nearby, and I don’t like that.

Dream6: Instead of the normal section of a restaurant, I decide to follow a DC and go to another part. I am climbing some stairs to reach my destination, but the place is very hard to get to because the doors are smaller. I reach the third floor, where I talk to the waiter – a friend of mine. Three other DCs appear. One of them tells me that he has a Japanese geisha girlfriend and that they are in an open relationship, they are dating some other special girl. He shows me a brochure where all this is explained using some strange Japanese words. I think that he expects me to join their little arrangement, so I say no thanks.

Fragment7: I am in a car, and the waiter of another place we were in, is now John Malkovich. He comes in, bringing my favourite sandwiches. They are perfect.

Dream8 DILD: I am in an interesting looking town, but pay little attention to it at first. I am with four friends, one girl I clearly know, two DC friends in the background and another girl. The other girl is the girlfriend of a friend of mine, and she has come to meet me. At first, I don’t feel at ease with the two girls, even though they are friends, so I fly to the level of the first floor, and follow everybody as they are walking down the street, just above them. I think of why I am doing this and then fly back down. The new girl has brought me some presents – she hands me two notebooks, with school notes, chemistry and other stuff. Then another one with patriotic poems translated in a foreign language. Who would want to read something like that, I am thinking to myself.

At some point which I cannot remember, I become lucid. I feel I have spent a long time exploring around. The next more clear lucid memory is me, still in that city, which looks like a medieval city, feeling happy and going for some tasks (which I don’t remember at all). Then I look around and enjoy the place, the walls of the houses around are made from a dark stone with a hint of green. It feels like an Italian city during Middle Ages. It also reminds me of a number of other dreams I had. One more recent one was in a modern Italian city. The Colosseum should be somewhere to my right, I am thinking and desire to go to that place. At the same time, I try to engage a few DCs to help me on my quest. I look ahead and see DCs passing by, I try to stop them, but they are moving really fast, strong momentum, so I cannot stop them. (The second time this has happened). I look at a DC in front of me and notice how beautiful, elaborate and medieval/renaissance-like her clothes are. I get closer to a DC woman that is not moving, she is some kind of monk, and ask her for help/directions, but she is not helpful at all (interact with DC).

I continue and find another male DC, a peasant, he looks a bit blurry. I know that this dream has been going on for really long, so to avoid it ending I come up with the idea to stabilize the dream by kissing him. He is not really ugly, I find him rather unpleasant, but still, I kiss him. I realize that I am doing something objectionable to me, yet I keep doing it. The dream feels much more stable (stabilize dream), but then someone tells me that as a result of my behaviour, I have now two children and that man is my husband. This place is my home now. It all suddenly feels so realistic to me that I lose my lucidity. I begin to fret about those responsibilities and that I won’t be able to leave the place now. At the same time, I know that this city is special and that there are wormholes appearing every now and then, so I can use one of them to escape. I look at a live city map, which shows the location of the currently active wormhole.

I continue sleeping and have another dream that I cannot recall. I wake up and feel frustrated because I have no memory of the last few dreams. Then fragments start to emerge.

Comment: Although I managed to recover some of the memory of that lucid, it is upsetting that once again I am unable to remember a part of the experience. And yet, it is much better than not remembering anything at all.