MeiSEKAI

Nothing much happened, but I'll post the notable parts here Entries in quotes are things I actually wrote at the time, either in my DJ or my phone. (Rewrote most of the DJ logs because they're very messy.)

(From 0-30 hours I was at my house, 30-55 hours I was at J & L's house, and 55-59 hours I was back home.)

3:10 am (18 hours): Was paranoid that my brothers were awake, so I lay still for a while and entered a half-asleep state. Felt refreshed when I snapped out of it twenty minutes later.

??? (~19 hours): Was rubbing my ear and could've sworn I heard my mom yelling my name from downstairs. I was terrified she'd somehow heard me moving around or creaking the bed, but I didn't hear her coming up the stairs, so it must have been a hallucination/hypnagogia.

5:23 am (20.5 hours): Fell into the same half-asleep state for the same amount of time, and again felt refreshed afterwards.

6:30 am (21.5 hours): "Tired. Eyes keep unfocusing, can't read. Still feel gross. Closing eyes leads to instant hypnagogia, auditory and visual."

6:45 am (22 hours): Decided to lay down until 7:00, accidentally fell asleep for 10 minutes and had this dream:

I was in a house for a swim team meeting. Kept floating and a little girl was making her bear stuffed animal float as well. I jumped down from a ledge onto the bed she was on, then bounced to the floor.

"Wow, did you purposely avoid my legs? 'Cause that was a close call!" she said. Her legs were curled into her chest underneath the blanket.

"Yeah, I have lots of practice jumping on beds," I said, referring to my brother's.

She pointed to my brother's friend Vinson and said he had a younger brother. I was shocked, and they were amused that I didn't know. She asked if I could go get him and with a sense of deja vu I agreed. I sensed that he had not come any of the other times I went to get him.

Went into a hallway/basement area, was a bit worried because I knew I was sleep-deprived, and even if it was only for 24 hours exposing myself to creepy situations wasn't a good idea. But I ignored it and went on, calling for the brother, "Arglot." (Pronounced Arr-glow.) I heard Valerie [person from swim team] calling for him as well.

Surprisingly, he appeared around the corner and said bluntly, "What do you want?"

To diffuse his attitude, I said in a casual tone, "Your friend and brother… well, just your friend, really, is asking for you."

"Okay, okay, well tell her…"

Forgot what he said. We were going up the stairs and I saw Kira, was thinking about how Arglot looked like her brother Marcus and how I didn't know she and Marcus were related till recently.

I really am clueless, I thought.


7:50 pm (35 hours): J&L and I were watching a movie and I felt pretty horrible the whole time. Wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through the night. The feeling cleared up after the movie ended.

??? (~41 hours): Briefly fell asleep for ten minutes. J was calling my name but I didn't respond, had to be slapped awake.

3:04 am (42 hours): "Watching Inuyasha but very tired and keep drifting off, was shocked awake by hallucinating my brother's echoing scream/roar."

3:16 am (42 hours): "Keep drifting off slightly and hearing songs before an Inuyasha character speaks loudly and snaps me out of it. Cannot focus on screen, eyes too blurry and unfocused. But I can keep track of the plot."

4:27 am (43.5 hours): "Feels like I fell asleep, but it's just the plot of the anime feeling like a dream."

5:40 (45 hours): J gave up. She was somehow able to stay awake just by lying on her back and daydreaming, though at one point she hallucinated me asking if she was up and mumbled "mmhm" to the air. I was very confused.

9:37 am (45 hours): "...I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30-ish. The experiment is probably ruined but I'll just subtract three hours. Might've had a dream but not sure. Something interesting did happen, though:
"I don't know if this was a dream or hallucination or what, but when I woke up my Chromebook was open in front of me with a bunch of text-to-speech voice options on the screen. They kept playing and it was difficult to move the cursor, but I managed to close the tab. Then I logged out, closed the Chromebook, and placed it on the desk.
"I know the TTS tab was not real because I don't have anything like that on the Chromebook. But it actually is on the desk, which doesn't make sense because I didn't plan to go to sleep and must have fallen asleep with it open on the bed. Well, whatever...
"My eyes are slightly bloodshot. Last night J said they looked purple, like a raccoon."

1:39 pm (49 hours): "I'm not tired, but when I close my eyes I feel dizzy. A throbbing dizziness, similar to that boat-rocking feeling I used to get when I was younger."

8:11 pm (56 hours): "Again, could've sworn I heard my mom calling for me, but it was very quiet and unclear."

9:35 pm (57 hours): "Tired only in my eyes. When my mom asked me for help with something, I suddenly felt a strange, full-body fatigue."


And that's it. The rest of the time I felt fine, sometimes a little tired. I also got a feeling similar to heartburn once in a while, and had a mild headache. Would've done another night if I could spend it at J&L's, but doing it in my shared room with only books and podcasts to keep me occupied (plus trying to stay quiet) is agonizingly boring.

FINALLY a lucidity-related dream after more than a week! Went to sleep at 11:30 as usual.

Dream #1 (Non-Lucid):
I was swimming against an AI version of myself, not in a pool but in a flooded sidewalk-moat around my neighborhood. I think there was another AI watching us from the sidelines. AI-Me slowed down to compute something and I actually put in effort to win, swimming as hard as my tired body could and feeling the ache in my muscles.

Eventually I reached the finish line (the parking lot in front of S's house) and celebrated with a little victory dance and whooping. I was well aware that it was out of character for me. The two AI bots watched in an almost friendly manner.

Next thing I knew I was walking toward my house with S, when a ton of bees appeared in our path. I drew a chalk-shield like in The Secret of Kells to keep them out and took S in the opposite direction. But then a bunch of flying white worms appeared in our path, and this time S was scared.

I hooked them under my arm and flew away, straight through the worms, but they were whimpering and squirming and freaking out so I said, "Can you calm down? I know what I'm doing, look," and showed them a decoy worm that I was apparently using to deceive the real ones. S finally relaxed and I looked around for a safe place to hide.

We touched down at the gap between S's house and another, and I was thinking, Ah, this is where that dream tree is at, probably a safe place to be. [I've had two dreams about a magical tree in this area and I am SO MIFFED THAT I DIDN'T BECOME LUCID FROM THIS THOUGHT.]

There were a bunch of people practicing gymnastics on either side of us and it made me a little uneasy. "Why are they doing gymnastics this late at night...?" I wondered aloud, but decided to brush off the feeling and dragged S to the group on our left.

A coach came over and amiably challenged me, asking doubtfully whether I could do gymnastics or not. I played along, saying, "Of course I can, I was enrolled in gymnastics for two years when I was four years old, you know!" [I was actually around six or seven, just said four to make it sillier.] Then I turned to a girl named Avery who did swim team with me a long time ago and said, "Avery, we used to do cartwheels and handstands and stuff together on swim team, right?"

She said, "Yeah, at swim team."

"Oh yeah, 'at.'" [Even now I'm confused about which is correct...]

Then I attempted a front walkover, telling them it had been years so as to lower expectations, and fell on my butt. They praised me for getting the first part right. I pumped myself up, getting back into position and telling someone to move because "I got a good feeling about this one." But as soon as I said that the good feeling went away and I regretted it.

I managed to do a successful, albeit wobbly, front walkover and was a bit disappointed, but figured it was fine since they couldn't be expecting much anyway. They applauded me just as they did the first time and we all got along from that point forward, except for S.

While I took pictures of the group, S sulked in a corner by themselves. I'm pretty sure this was a false memory, but I had the sense that this had happened before and I had gone back in time (as I do in some of my dreams). I told S to join us and they made it in for the last couple photographs. I said to them, "I'm relieved, because in the previous timeline I was looking at these pictures and found it unfortunate that you weren't in any of them."

———

I actually don't know when this dream occurred because I kept waking up without writing it down, instead going over it in my head so that I would remember. This led to at least two dreams of recording it in my dream journal, and when I sat up to write it down at 8:30-ish I was annoyed that they hadn't been real.

I was mad at myself for not trying harder to perform WILD during the night, frustrated that I hadn't had a lucid dream for a while. I was still a little tired, so I decided to give it one more go. I lay down and repeated "do a reality check" over and over in my head, trying to relax my body.

Eventually some auditory hypnagogia kicked in, one of which was my brother's voice chanting along with me. My daydreams started to gain a life of their own, and I followed them, dropping the RC mantra and instead focusing on the fact that they were dreams.

Dream #2 (Lucid Daydream+Lucid):

In one of these daydreams, a bunch of people were sitting on a bed having a meeting of some sort. I focused on one guy and could sort of feel what he was feeling, but not really.

In another, I was standing next to three or four teens and threw a rock in front of us. It changed into a boulder midair and flew into the sky. One kid had a camera and snapped a pic—I think he was a reporter of some sort.

I flew in front of his camera and boasted, "Hahaha, you know why that's possible? Because this is a dream!"

He or the maybe-nonexistent fourth kid mumbled, "And what are we supposed to do about that...?" Another said fearfully, "Is it like ChatGPT?!" [lmao] And the one farthest left asked, "Does that mean none of this matters?"

"Of course not," I assured him. "It's still part of my mind and I can come back whenever I want (once I have the ability). All my dreams are one universe and that universe is just as real to my brain as reality itself, okay?"

Then I left, thinking to myself, Perhaps DCs' eyes should turn gold once they become lucid... but then so many would have the same eye color, and what about those with naturally golden eyes? Maybe they'll be naturally lucid as well... Hmm, maybe the eyes can be either black or gold? Ah, whatever.

I climbed the trunk of a tree in front of my house, like I was just clinging onto the trunk with my legs and arms. It was at this point that I felt ready to "actively enter the dream," and focused on touching the bark with my fingers... 'lo and behold, it worked! I had successfully entered my dream body and could now see and feel the tree as if it were real life.

But I don't think my brain had properly formed the size of the trunk, because it kept changing and wobbling. I tried to adjust it, but I wasn't sure how big it should be either. [The problem was that if it was too big it would be unrealistic for me to be wrapped around it, but in real life it's a pretty big tree so I was confused.] I tried to stabilize the dream by focusing on sensations, making noises, paying attention to visuals, but I could feel it falling apart. I couldn't drop off the tree or make any sudden movements because I knew I would immediately wake up.

Soon it was like my vision split in half, and a couple seconds later the trunk turned into my blanket. I realized my eyes were open in real life. I quickly closed them, seeing nothing but blackness. My body was numb, but I was sure I could move it if I wanted to. I tried to summon up the image of the tree again, and it kinda worked, booting up like a weird simulation, but it wasn't clear enough and I wasn't tired enough so I gave up.

Well, I'm just glad I managed to have another lucid, no matter how short it was

Here's a pic of the tree:

Okay sooo yesterday I saw that April 12th was National Lucid Dreaming day and wanted to do something special. But I don't know anyone here well enough to attend a party with them in a dream (like I saw people doing on the forum post), so I tried to wrap my friend J into it. I told her to meet up with me in a dream at either her house or the elementary school nearby. I don't thin I really believe in shared dreaming but I was curious what would happen.

I went to sleep at 11:30, using MILD to imagine the scenario. Woke up at 3:50, had a very vague idea of a dream but didn't write anything down. Instead I closed my eyes, kinda trying to do WILD, repeating over and over in my head, "J's house, J's house..." and fell back asleep within minutes.

Dream #1 (Regular):
Next thing I knew I was sitting up in my bed and the lights were on. I was watching a 3DMV Project Sekai song featuring Mafuyu and Mizuki, focusing more on their voices than the models. Their singing was quite vivid, at first I mixed up their voices but soon was able to identify them. Mafuyu's was less soft than usual and vibrating quite a bit, while Mizuki's was deeper than usual. I thought they didn't sound as good as they normally do but oh well.

My mom came into the room and startled me (my door was on the left instead of the right for some reason). She was wearing a pink wig and a Lolita dress though I didn't notice this in the dream. She was concerned and a bit annoyed by my scared reaction but eventually must have left because next thing I knew I was trying to do WILD to meet up with J in a dream, only for her to come in again and interrupt me! She started talking to me about something unimportant and I was like, "Can we talk about this later, I'm trying to meet up with J in a dream right now." She didn't really get it but eventually left me alone.

I tried again, and this time some very intense auditory hypnagogic hallucinations kicked in right away. [It's worth noting that auditory HI is the main type I get, I even entered a lucid dream from it one time.] I could vividly hear in my head the hustle and bustle of a mall, a food court it seemed like, and voices talking behind me, that of a small child standing out. I even felt sleep paralysis setting in which excited me because I knew that meant I was close to sleep. (I also felt my face sink into my arm which bothered me, but I wasn't going to risk moving.) I hoped I would find myself in a mall when I drifted off, and then I'd go to J's house to meet up with her.

Well, wouldn't you know it, when I opened my eyes, I was in a mall! Not a food court—I was lying down on some pool chair in front of an internal balcony—but still! Was I lucid though? No! Somehow I thought I had been attempting WILD in the mall and had stopped because a blond lady interrupted me before I fell asleep. She somewhat resembled my IB ESS teacher Mrs. B and was next to my chair, fiddling with something on a stand next to me.

"My gosh!" I exclaimed in an exasperated yet excited tone. "I was so close just now, I had super loud hypnagogic hallucinations, I even got sleep paralysis for the first time- well, I noticed it for the first time."

The blond lady had an abnormally large, gap-toothed smile and said something about never having experienced sleep paralysis either. There was an ant crawling out the side of her mouth onto her cheek and I stared at it but didn't say anything. She lifted her hand to her face and I don't know if she picked it up or if it just fell onto her hand, but it ended up in her palm somehow and transformed into an amalgam of a bee and a cockroach. I am terrified of bees in real life and it was only now that I got a little freaked out, pointing at it as if she weren't aware of it. She tossed it in my general direction and I immediately woke up.

———

When I opened my eyes I had the sense that the beeroach was somewhere on my sheets and had a hypnopompic hallucination for the first time in years. I used to have them occasionally when I was younger and had a nightmare... for some reason they only seemed to happen when I had a bug nightmare. I don't consider this a nightmare but I saw a giant, brown, wispy ant crawling on the sheets in front of me nonetheless. I was a tiny bit afraid but knew it wasn't real. I closed my eyes until I knew it would be gone, then wrote down my dream.

Funny thing is it was around 4:15 when I woke up, so I was only sleeping for about 20 minutes. When I finished writing down my dream it was 4:40 and I tried to sleep again even though I felt pretty alert... it took me an hour before I did. I know because I heard my mom getting ready for work downstairs, which she starts doing at 5:30-ish. During that time I was attempting SSILD but forgot what you're supposed to do after going through the cycles [turns out it's just "try to fall asleep"...], so as a last ditch-effort I tried WILD again, repeating "J's house, J's house" in my head and imagining us meeting up. Before I knew it, I was in a dream!

———

Dream #2 (Regular):
I was in fact in J's house, though I wasn't lucid. Visually it was a mix of my house, J's house, another friend's house, and some random house, but functionally it was just J's house.

I entered a dark room and found J's twin sister L lying down on a mattress, a TV in front of her. She had "HELP ME" scrawled in blue ink all over her left arm and I (falsely) remembered J telling me that she'd done it because she was stressed out about the upcoming exams. On the TV was a video made by some History YouTuber. He was answering whether he was a pessimist or an optimist and said something along the lines of, "Well objectively from my content I may seem like a pessimist, but the answer's a bit more complicated if you take a deeper look into my complex psyche!"

I sat on the mattress behind her and watched as the camera flipped up to the ceiling and a woman sobbing could be heard, as well as a screaming child in the background. I was very confused why he would upload his personal life on YouTube, wondering if he was abusive, or if she was abusive, or if she was being dramatic and scaring the kid, or if it was all some twist that he would clear up at the end. I never found out though because I left the room. I started to close the door but L didn't want me to, and besides the mattress was in the way.

I was now walking through the living room and picked up a gray frog stuffed animal, which I think was S's (another friend), then threw it back on the floor. In the dream it was around 5:30 and I assumed my mom must have left for work because she wasn't there (I don't know why she would be at J's house anyway but whatever), and wondered where J&L's mom was. At this point I "remembered" a part of some dream and wanted to write it down, but my dream journal was upstairs so I decided to do it later. I also knew J was upstairs and thought about waking her up but knew she'd be mad.

So instead I enjoyed being the only one up in an empty and quiet house in the early hours of the morning. I skipped into the kitchen area... and suddenly found it impossible to keep moving. I fell forward and immediately woke up.

———

Here are some quick sketches of the dream scenes:


It was 6:03 when I woke up so again, I couldn't have been asleep for very long. These dreams were more vivid than usual, maybe because they were so short, or because I was trying so hard to meet up with J. If you're wondering, J did not recall any dreams in the morning so I guess we can say the reason I never got to see her is because she didn't keep up her end of the deal

P.S. I know I said a couple days ago that I wouldn't include my semi-lucid dream in my LD count, but I change my mind. The lucidity level was very low, even my awareness level was lower than in these dreams, but it was a lucid dream nonetheless so I will go back on my word and add it (I love that emoji.)