Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At an office to apply to a course and a scholarship. I pass all tests but they say they'll give me the scholarship because they did an MRI while I was being interviewed and they say I have tumors in my left boob and need support. I am speechless and tell them I actually have cysts and tumors everywhere but not on my boobs and that makes no sense. Classes are all day on fridays and at first I am happy with the schedule, but then remember I am already going to another school and have a packed schedule on friday.

Some excursion to the north of Portugal. On arrival to some town there is a feast prepared for us. I am starving and jump right in, but others are quicker than me and all I get is some bread dipped in olive oil. There are some activities later, kids playing and adults picking fruits. I am flirting with some hunk who is into me, but at the same time is keeping his distances because he seems to not want others to know. I get bored and go for a walk and all of a sudden I am walking in Lisbon with my mom and aunt Lisa. I don't recognize the streets though, they look so good. Lots of glamorous cafés and restaurants. I see Tatiana dressed like a pinup, blond hair, looking gorgeous, entertaining some customers sitting on tables outside a café with her name. I can see she is doing really well. I think she sees me, but I pretend I don't and just keep going. I feel ashamed that I am a bit jealous of her. Meanwhile, we come across my dad who looks pissed, because he was kicked out of a store for not being well dressed enough. I think he looks ok, not posh but also not ragged. He speaks to my mom privately as they walk ahead and then he leaves. I ask her if he was trying to open a bank account at some posh bank and she says it was just a famous kitchenware brand store. And I was like wtf. Also commented that if it was Elon Musk in rags they would welcome him with open arms. She says he asked her help for shopping new clothes. Then mom and Lisa transform into Margarida and an old Japanese frail lady but I haven't adjusted to that change, so I treat the old lady as if she is Lisa and I make some joke and slap her hard in the arm. As a result, the old lady almost falls down and when I realize it, I apologize a lot. But the lady smiles gently and speaks very softly and tells me it's ok.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

01:00 GMT

Wrathful deities
A chase, confrontation with some wrathful deities. I escape some place through a narrow window and deliver something to someone.
(...)

05:35 GMT
Cookies and kids
One of my last days on some very nice sunny city. It’s already end of the day and when passing a street I find this amazing bakery selling traditional pastry from this country/city. There is a lady baking the cookies on some open kitchen and selling them directly to the passer-by. Because these cookies are so famous, you have to get a numbered ticket and wait ages for your turn. I see my number and the amount of people waiting and I decide it’s not worth it, but then the baker tells all the other people to wait because she will take my order first. Really? Why? The other customers are not happy about it... It’s really hard to choose the best cakes and cookies so I ask for two of each, hoping they will still be ok in a few days when I get back home. Some cookies are still being baked and I have to wait a bit. Meanwhile I am allowed to enter the kitchen and I start talking to some ladies working there and I help them with some tiding up of the place. They have some old food in the fridge and I throw it away. Then they kick me out, because apparently they have to bake a huge load of cookies for a kid’s excursion next day.
On the next day me and my BF join this excursion and help take care of the kids. We go in groups in vans and we stop at a parking lot in front of the ocean. The kids are being taken to the beach. For a brief moment I wonder how we got into this? I don’t feel like taking care of dozens of kids all day. I then have this underlying feeling that I’m not obliged to actually do it – I’m half aware this is a dream - so I turn around to see what else is there to do. I see a green hill with a zig zag earthen path going up, flanked by Buddha’s statues of different sizes. I tell my BF “Let’s go there:”, but he won’t turn his back on the kids, because he doesn’t have this intuition it’s a dream. Divided between two dreams, I wake up.

08:00 GMT

Buddha is a teenager in blue jeans
At some bookshop I see a magazine, like Times, with a cover story on Tibetan Buddhism and it has pages and pages with amazing photos of teachers and famous practitioners and incredible Himalayan landscapes. I so want to buy it. On the cover it says £2, but I ask the cashier how much it costs in EUR. She tells me it’s 8000 something EUR and I LMAO. I ask “Are you nuts? It’s like 2.5 EUR.” And she replies that it’s not a simple conversion of prices, there are taxes and whatever. I still say “Are you aware of how much is 8000 EUR? Even if you’d say 8 EUR, it would be too expensive! Can you please just pass the mag under your bar code scanner to check the price?” But she says no and that she will call a colleague to ask. I’m about to give up. She comes back and tells me “If you come after 20h, when we’re closing, we can make a 50% discount on the mag, it would only cost 4000 EUR”. I say nevermind and start realizing this must be a dream.
Then the store becomes a bus and I think “Hum, why don’t I just materialize a lot of cash to pay for the stupid mag, just for fun?”, so I visualize I put my hand in my pocket and come out with 10000 EUR in cash. There’s someone by my side, not sure if still the same lady, surprised that I can do that and I say “Oh yeah, it’s just dream money. How much do you want? Just say it and I’ll make it appear.” But then my pockets are also filled with crumbles from cookies and lots of dirt. I empty them to find out what more is there, but then realize I’m wasting my precious lucid time. As I walk to the front of the bus I throw everything on the floor – money, magazine, bag, even a coat and I feel so light. The bus driver doesn’t know what I want to do, I smile and I cross the windshield – he and other passengers freak out. I lift of and fly high to see where I am. I see a road ahead of me, flanked by houses, up above a beautiful blue sky, down below a sea or a lake to my left and green hills to my right. I see a gate for what seems to be an amazing property with a park and decide it’s a good place to sit and meditate. But when I arrive there I see families with noisy kids all around. Oh well, I’ll have to endure. I look for a green spot to sit, but then all of the ground is muddy and uninviting. I recall my need not to drift or feel discouraged. I focus on the Buddha. I don’t visualize the Buddha image, but I sense Buddha’s presence and hold on to it. Then I find a covered passageway between two houses and in the middle of it there’s an amazing tower-like covered veranda with a central low pedestal with a base to sit on which is perfect. I sit there and it has a view over the whole park and the sea in the distance. The sun is setting and beautiful golden shades reflect on the water. But I realise all this is also distraction and as I am getting lost on it, I feel myself waking up. I hold on to the dream and I slide back in. I try to visualize the Buddha, but it’s not working. I feel myself waking up again, but I still hold on and slide back in. This time in front of me is my black kitten hugging another yellow kitten and I find it extremely sweet, but remember I must stay focused. Not trying to visualize the Buddha anymore, I instead try to just feel the Buddha’s presence more strongly. I do and then imagine that this presence becomes a ball of light that enters my body through my crown chakra. I feel a very powerful effect, like a force field around my head. I start to hover, feeling this amazing radiant light coming out of my chest, but then I see again all these people on the park, playing ball and whatever and this slight distraction was enough to call it off. I start to wake up again but slide back in one last time. Now I try again to really see the Buddha, so I summon the Buddha and wish that he is there on my back when I turn around. I turn around and there’s this round faced oriental looking teenager, who looks just like a Buddha, but he is wearing jeans and a checkered shirt. He looks just like he is just another kid in the park, but very lonely. He looks bored and just sits on a tree log watching the others playing. I’m like “WTF? Not what I had in mind.” The sun is setting and people are then leaving the park. Some lady comes with a couple of other teenagers and tells them to keep the Buddha-boy company. They look extremely bored by that, they don’t feel like baby-sitting. But then the Buddha-boy tells them not to worry, because he won’t be any burden to them. He’ll either stay quiet if they want or just be as interesting as they want. The other kids feel bad for their first reaction, ‘cause they feel he is actually not that lame and they tell him they are actually not that cool to hang around either. Then the Buddha-boy says “Then I’m sure we’ll get along, ‘cause I am myself a dick.” And they all laugh. I watch them leaving and I wake up.

9:15 GMT

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

I know it is a bit late to start doing the tasks of the year, but I managed to finalise the task of the month of September after just first attempt of doing TotM, so I decided to go for the bigger challenge. I sill have 3 months till end of the year. If I manage one time travel per week, I can make it If not, at least it was a good try.


22:00 GMT – Sleep

Visiting Japan
More dream stuff related to my incoming trip to Japan. I’m in a hostel room with 4 bunk beds and I am staying in the lower bed on the bunk bed on the right side of the room. It’s not the best bed in the world, but I’m tired so anything goes. I think I am writing my dreams on paper DJ and I feel a bit cold cause I cover myself with a blanket.
Still, I am apparently not yet going to sleep or just waking up, because soon I am up and walking around the hostel. Lots of young people around. I am joining a group who is going on an excursion to the mountains but first i go back to the room to pick my toothbrush and something warmer to wear. I meet them at a bus stop just outside by a road and while we wait for some bus they start telling stories about their experiences in Japan. One guy says we’re not longer on tornado season but that it might happen that we get caught by one, especially in this particular area where we are. I wonder if he means a typhoon. I see what seems to be a ticket machine and I pass a card in front of a window which recognised it and makes a bip sign. Then we’re on top of the mountain and I am using this large public restroom. There’s so much crowd around. I’m looking for a toilet, but all seem to be occupied. This area of the restroom is extremely dark and I open one door of a toilet that seems to be free but when I put my hand in the dark trying to find my way there, I grope some lady who’s inside. She doesn’t complain though and I just close the door and give up. When I go out I pass by lots and lots of tourists of all nationalities and I hear these American black ladies mentioning very amused something about the size of the penis of men – I guess Japanese men vs African men?

2:45 GMT

Dinosaurs extinction (task of the year)
I’m at my late grandma’s house which is now much bigger and works as a family house but also as guesthouse. There’s lots of people staying there, including my friend Hugo with whom I cross in the hallway. I think I was biking and just arrived. My family (uncles and aunts) are gathered around the table in the kitchen and call me to join them, but I want to go to the toilet first (still...). I pee but don’t feel any relieve, so I try to pee again and it is so realistic I just realise I might be peeing in bed in RL! Because of this I become lucid. I wonder if I should go to the RL toilet, but I decide that can wait, now I must enjoy lucidity and make good use of it.
I go out through the toilet window and it is dark outside. As I think about what to do, I go down a road and pass by some houses. I meet dogs barking and 2 or 3 come to me and look intimidating. It’s a dream, ok, but still if they bite it might hurt, so I decide to lift of. Then they started jumping and doing something that also annoys me a lot in dreams – no matter how high I fly, they always jump that much higher too. I decide this has to stop. It’s my dream! And dogs or whatever will not jump higher than what is normal in RL. I am the only one here with extraordinary powers, ok? And it works, I see them jumping down there, no longer coming even close to where I am floating. As I go higher I meet this girl, standing on a electricity line and she starts talking to me. I recognise her as the girlfriend of one of my friends . One of those who ruined my friendship with the guy because of her jealous of our relationship. So I decide to tell her she doesn’t need to feel jealous or insecure about my friendship with her boyfriend, that I have no romantic interest on him and that I’m tired of losing friends because of possessive and jealous girls like her. I was a bit harsh but she totally understood and smiled. I told her to excuse me but that this was a lucid dream for me and I had other things to do. She said ok and I lifted even higher. It could now see the sun rising on the hills in front and I also could see a train passing nearby. No time for summoning mirrors so I decide o jump on the train and use the movement and impact as a quick to enter another dream.
I think about the task of the year (tasks of the month are done already) and wish to go see how the dinosaurs got extinct. I jump with eyes closed and when I open them I’m on some forest/jungle environment. I see high grass, dense foliage. The weather is hot and moist and the light is golden. I hear dinosaurs’ sounds at some distance and decide to explore this world. As I go through the forest I then spot what seems to be a little man with a conic hat. Man? He looks like a gnome, he is short and round and he is totally focused on his work – I then see cultivated fields and realise he is farming. I think I totally screwed this task and for a while think if I should jump again and try something different. I then pass by some cottage-like houses in the middle of the woods and find a crossroad. I decide to continue to explore and I end up finding a city! It looks modern in all senses, but little details are different. All buildings are in stone and metal. They remind me Gaudi’s architecture, with organic shapes and so on. I see no cars and people wear really simple clothes in shades of green and brown. I am totally shocked when I see a few ladies passing by with huge white moustaches. The rest looks totally normal, as if I am in Vienna or some other European capital with beautiful stone buildings. Then I see some banners of some museum, like Natural History museum and I feel curious and follow the banners indications. I pass over a canal, under an arch and arrive at this inner square where there’s a huge bunker like building with more banners announcing a very special exhibition – a temporary zoo actually. I decide to go see it, but it is really early morning and it is not open yet. There’s already people waiting by the door and I am impatient – I fear I will lose lucidity if I just stay here waiting. So I rub my hands and walk around. They finally open the door, but we still need to wait in the lobby. I think “Why do I have to wait? It’s my dream isn’t it?” But I don’t want to interfere too much or I will start projecting too obviously and the dream will not be surprising any more. So I decide to push it a little bit, by encouraging the DCs to invade the place so I can also enter it amidst the crowd. And they do! They push away the guy who’s keeping the entrance and we go along this hallway and then we must go down some stairs. Before going down the stairs I peek over to what is down there and I see the first enclosures with the first animals. To my surprise the first one holds a couple of what might be Neanderthals. They are being attended by the zoo-keepers when the first tourists/observers are already lining up against the glass wall that encircles them. The Neanderthal lady is kinda sleepy and lies down. A tourist pervert starts taking pictures of her genitals. She is actually quite hot, for a Neanderthal.
Then the second enclosure has a live T-Rex! Oh, finally a dinosaur!!! So it wasn’t totally wasted time. The T-Rex is quite small though, maybe twice the height of a human being. Either is a youngster or a degenerate midget T-Rex. I decide to go downstairs to see the rest of the dinosaurs behind the glass walls. But hen I arrive down there the zoo/museum people have put some covers blocking the view as they finalised all preparations for the visits to start. Gosh, so disappointing! But I use that time to reflect on the dream and realise in my version of the extinction of the dinosaurs, human beings were the cause of their extinction, through invasion of their natural habitat. I sit down with some ladies around the table and by now my lucidity drops to about 10% and all gets confusing and disappears.
[On waking up, I told the story to my boyfriend and he said I must secretly be one of those religious people who believe dinosaurs and men coexisted. Actually I think some non-religious people also defend that idea based on archeological findings. My interpretation is more from an environmentalist point of view: dinosaurs and neanderthal’s got extinct – of course it had to be us!]

6:30 GMT

Fragments
- Some colourful food, I think cookies, in pink and reddish colour. It is hot spicy and I wonder what they are made off. Found out they were made with some species of exotic poisonous ants. I feel sorry for the ants.
- I am staying on some kind of resort. The main building is quite strange with some impossible staircases. If it was some years or months ago this would disturb me,but now I just find it so cool. I fly or jump to keep going up or down, so who cares abou broken, incomplete stairs or stairs that lead nowhere or turn back from where they were coming. Now it just looks fascinating. I go to the terrace of this building, which is covered in gravel. It has a fantastic view to one side and direct contact with the sea on the other. The sky is a bit grey but it is warm weather and I decide to try the water. It is also warm but the current is to strong and I get out really soon after. It was a longer and interesting dream, but I forgot on waking up.

8:00 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG


00:00 GMT – Sleep

Political speech and endangered tribe
A guy I know, who is president of a political party has presented a proposal in the Parliament and he is causing a lot of fuss. [this came from an open letter this guy actually wrote about a petition to present to the Parliament and which I read during the day.]
Then I’m on an excursion with him. On the way to wherever we’re going he is telling a story to all the participants- supposed to be with a moral to it but nobody is taking it seriously. He then looks at me looking for some support and I nod and smile, showing I totally understand what he means. We both look through the window nostalgic, almost as if looking deep into each other.
Then we arrive at a place in the jungle where there’s a tribe whose culture is disappearing. The excursion people are gathered around a table, eating some delicacies they are serving to us and I am completely obsessed about some yellow cookies that are quickly disappearing – I take all the last ones for me!
We’re on some kind of house carved on a stone wall and through a hole (kind of tiny window for the air to pass) I see a tribe kid peeping. I feel curious to meet him and go outside after him. I see an old lady still living in accordance with their traditions but the youngsters I see are polluted with western culture.
I sit down with some kids (don’t know if it the same kid I saw before, these seem older) and we talk about how they live their culture and they couldn’t care less, they don’t feel attracted to the old ways anymore, think it’s boring. I feel sad that we, foreigners, are more aware of the beauty and profoundness of their traditional and wise relationship with the cosmos than they are.

7:00 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING


22:50 GMT – Sleep

Game like dream. Can’t recall content.

0:00 GMT

Bus ride to village in distress
Just as two nights before (the hovercraft ride dream), I am on a bus with more people crossing dangerous mountain roads with dangerous manoeuvres from the driver and we almost fall down a cliff. We arrive at this remote village in a valley, surrounded by woods. There was some kind of catastrophe there and the basic services are disrupted. More madness is expected soon, riots and violence. A muscled guy comes and starts orienting us. For some reason he seems to befriend me more than the rest of the group. We come to help and we evaluate the situation sitting on a picnic table outside: we try to evaluate how much food, water and other essential goods there are and how long they’ll last and we realise it won’t last more than 4 or 5 days. Because everything is torn apart, I see this village name plate half covered by debris and the only letters remaining visible say “...have ...fun...” I think this is highly ironic.


Fragment
I’m inside a house, with a big window facing the street. It has something like an advertisement stick on the window and I’m trying to read it on reverse, when some guy outside knocks on the window. He wants to speak to me and seems a bit angry. I exit the place.

Mourning a dying man
I’m now entering a room at my neighbour C. house. Her dad is extremely sick (in some kind of coma) and people are all gathered around him, mourning him, as if he was already dead. Strangely, some of my cousins and even my late grand-grandmother are also there, even if they don’t belong to this family or are alive at all. I feel this is very uncomfortable and wonder if they have no hopes that he gets better? On my way out I meet my dad and he says I have to be more loving towards him because one day he’ll also be lying dead like this guy. Sure, but I already know that, no point in stressing that out!


2:30 GMT

More details of a previous dream
Regarding the mosque lucid dream I had had a few nights before, someone comes in this dream to tell me it is actually surrounded by English-style gardens but doesn’t know anything about sacred stones, only that there was some stone-sculpture exhibition there and that a few days some people gathered there to celebrate some ceremony.

I’m no dancer
I’m on some place where it’s playing music and I feel like dancing. I actually think I’m doing ok, when more people join me. I can tell they are professional dancers and compared to them I’m just not good enough, but I’m having fun, so I don’t care. Then I realise I’m in the middle of some dance class final exam. The teacher comes to me and asks me “Do you think you danced well? and I say that on a professional level, of course not. Then she asks some other dancer “Do you think she danced well?” and he says no. Then she says she rests her case and turns her back on me, like outcasting me. I feel a bit upset. I mean, I know I am just an amateur, but my dancing is not that offensive to anybody’s eyes, no need to be so tough on me. Some fellow dancers show solidarity with me but in the end I say it’s ok, in fact she is right. Then I invite them to come along with me to a Vivaldi concert that will happen on some nearby auditorium.


3:40 GMT

A lucid hot date
I’m with Nighthawk watching tv on the couch on a living room. At first we're apart from each other, but slowly we snuggle with each other, our noses are barely touching each other, we look in each other’s eyes and we kiss. He whispered “My god, it’s so good to kiss you.” and I smiled, my heart thumping. He says ”Marry me.” I don’t know what to say and I say it’s complicated. He knows, he gets up, determined about something. I don't stop him, but seconds later I decide to go after him. On the corridor I remember to do a reality check . I put my hand on the wall and it sinks. I get lucid and for the first time on a lucid dream I actually feel frustrated that it is just a dream but I still decide I want to see how this will go on.
I find him on the next room with Riverstone, who is completely focused on something like a book and holding a cup of tea in his hand. I put my hand on the wall, I make a hole on it and I ask them “Do you know what this means?”. Riverstone looks totally disconnected and doesn’t react. Nighthawk has a misterious smile on his face and I don’t understand what goes on on his mind. I grab a piece of dissolved wall on my hand and pour it into Riverstone cup of tea telling him “This is just a fucking dream!”. He says I’m telling nonsense. I turn to Nighthawk and I say “He is always like this, he never believes me!”. Nighthawk, on the other hand, seems to be understanding exactly what I am talking about. Then he surprises me by replying “Well, I, on the other hand, know for sure this is damn real! I am really here with you!!! And I know we're dreaming!” Really? WOW! I was amazed.
I ask him “How...?” and he continues saying that he doesn’t recall those many dreams, but he does recall a few once in a while and that this might be one of those he will remember. I tell him he must absolutely remember this one!
At this point I realise that Riverstone is no longer with us. I turn to Nighthawk, absolutely thrilled and exhilarated with this totally lucid dream encounter. We smile and we kiss each other again, more passionately. We fall on the bed. I feel delighted with everything. Then his image starts to flicker and we realise he is losing lucidity and waking up. He says “Damn, not yet! I want to stay with you!” and I try to keep him there with me, grabbing him firmly. But he becomes just a blur, a shadow, until he totally disappears, like sand through my fingers. I find myself in this empty room, happy and sad at the same time. I sit on the floor and I stay there for a long time, hoping that he might re-enter the dream. But when I no longer feel the residues of his presence I decide there’s no point in staying longer, so I also wake up.

5:00 GMT

Excursion on the USA
I’m with Riverstone on some excursion in the US. We’re on a bus. A pregnant lady is just sitting in front of us. We’re passing by N.Y. and Riverstone is screaming joyfully every times he sees a landmark he recognizes. Later we’re outside any city, on some road leading to some other totally different place. We find ourselves in a swamp area. We see alligators on water and for some strange reason there’s a black guy swimming bravely among them. I worry for the guy but also comment that is so funny to be seeing alligators as I just had some conversation with someone about alligators during the day.


6:35 GMT

Love letter
I am again on a bus and some stupid guy/kid reads out loud a love letter I wrote to someone else. Although he doesn’t mention my name, he knows it’s mine and I believe everybody else will also know it’s mine. I wonder how he got it and feel terribly irritated. But instead of reacting, I just ignored him. I guessed this way I wouldn’t actually reveal myself and people would be in doubt. Only when the bus stops and we start coming out of it, I step on the guys passage and confront him with his action. I put my finger on his nose and make a threatening look and tell him something that scares him. He looks asian and familiar, but I have no clue who he actually is. He doesn’t like being threatened and tells me “Ok, ok. But why don’t you just tell the guy your feelings?” And I respond “But I did! What do you think that letter served for! I just wonder how you ended up with it in your hands.” He doesn’t confess.


Camp of giant cats
When we get out, we’re in some kind of camp and everybody starts smoking or is coughing. I comment it must be the lung cancer camp and the joke is not well received. Someone scolds me. We walk a bit further and I start to see lots of big houses, like an entire village and the most surprising of it is that I see giant cats looking behind them or inside them. Cool! I don’t kno if the cats are dangerous, but I start taking pictures of these amazing site.
[inspired by the cat sanctuary of this guy in the US, that collects abandoned and wild cats and takes care of them in this lovely sanctuary with tiny houses for the cats, as a real village.It even as a church and a wall-mart.]

8:30 GMT – Wake up