Breaking the Fear Barrier: My first Astral Projection
Last night/This morning I had my first astral projection experience.
I have been trying to Astral Project for a very long time and have had great difficulty in dealing with the way sleep paralysis sometimes manifests for me. I even believed I was just not able to reach those states for whatever reason it may be. The feelings of fear and the unknown were so great that even when I had partial success, my fear cut short any projections before they started. I had up until this point only reached meditative states for short periods and seen HI rarely and experienced the onset of sleep paralysis on a few occasions spaced out over a long period of time.
The following explains in detail a full account of my experiences, which I typed up immediately on returning to my body. I included all the different factors that I felt could have influenced the breakthrough. I would like to share this experience with you and would be happy to ask any questions that would help others experiencing similar difficulties in this area.
_____________________________________________
Date: Wednesday 2nd September 2009
Time: 4-5am
Under the Effects of: Cannabis, B Complex Vitamins
Overall Mood during day: Slightly negative and withdrawn
Description:
I had fallen asleep about 1-2am while reading, woke up a short time before 4am, smoked my usual bedtime joint and lay down and meditated using a technique I kind of made up at the time. The room was dark and quiet save for a single candle. During the meditation I entered into a trance-like state, followed an imeasurable time later by an abrupt ringing in the ears that awakened my consciousness fully from the trance state. I realised I could control the ringing and tried to increase its rate of vibration but this caused great discomfort as the sound filled my awareness completly, also I started to feel as if i was being electrocuted violently. This felt very negative to me and I felt I was experiencing all my own fears and negativity. This continued for a short time and I felt alot of fear, at one point I even felt like I was dying it felt as if the vibrations were going to shake me to pieces, or that I would not be able to shut it off.
A short time later a TV like screen appeared, hovering in the air to my left and the feelings of fear as well as the ringing and vibrations took a backseat to a rush of exhileration and amazement. It was as if just the viewing area of the screen was projected there and pictures were moving solidly as on any screen, and I began watching. The scene showed a man looking at the me (Although it did not feel as if I was being addressed direct, but instead witnessing something, as when watching TV usually). I managed to calm myself to a state of consciousness where I was able to attempt to objectively watch the "program". I cannot remember in detail the surroundings the man was in, but i heard distinctive sound and specifically remember him mentioning something to do with colours and numbers.
I was not able to focus on anymore, unable to bring my mind from the realisation that this was "really happening", a conclusion I came to based on the fact I was fully aware of what I was experiencing at this point, completly different to dream awareness. It felt very similiar to my waking conciousness, although slightly altered inthe way I was experiencing the sensations, and my senses seemed altered or heightened like I was percieving with more than just the waking fives senses.
I cant remember the trigger but I began to question the reality of the situation, and then my sanity as I watched the image and heard the sounds, clear as day. As soon as I doubted the reality of this projected TV-like screen it vanished from view and the vibrations and ringing in my ears intensified. I felt a wave of dread sweep over me and felt as if i was being watched, I tried to remain calm despite the overwhelming fear but it continued to intensify, I tried to get up but found my movements were slow and heavy as if walking through mud, I managed to somehow stand up and it needed a great effort or willpower to do so. I slowly moved towards my door and tried to shout out but no words left my mouth. I doubled my efforts and found it almost impossible to speak, I heard a very dull, faint sound as if i was managing to say something but it made no sense. As the feelings began to intensify I remember having the fear that I would not be able to return to normal, that I was trapped here.
I shouted out in my mind in frustration instead of trying to use my mouth to speak physically as I had been trying to and was granted with some success this time but my voice still seemed faint and distant although it did sound as if i was shouting. I had got up to leave the room to go and get help. Although it soon dawned on me that this was something that I must face alone and had a sense that it was something that I would benefit from later. With some hesitation I slowly returned to my bed and lay down and began trying to deal with the overwhelming fear.
I remembered that I should try to focus on the light, good feelings or anything positive and began doing so. At this point I calmed down enough to realise that I was out of my body and that I had suceeded in projecting. Up until this point it felt so real (compared with waking consiousness and awareness) I didn’t even stop to think that I had projected. Despite the intense vibrations and feelings of negativity I began trying to will myself to float up, empowered by my realisation that I was using my astral body. I decided I was going to attempt to control my movements no matter how bad I began to feel. With this resolve I looked up at the ceiling. On the ceiling I saw an old fashioned lantern that was not familiar to me. I used this as a focal point and it began to get closer as I floated up as I expected to. The feelings of dread were still present and at this point I began to grow weary and wished to end the experience having achieved what I had intended. At first I could not seem to return, and I began to get very scared and wondered if i was dead or dying.
I then decided to focus completely on the light and asked for help from any benevolent beings who may be able to help me return to my body and attempted to not give any attention to the feelings of negativity (which was difficult). After a short delay I noticed shimmering lights floating to my left, above where the TV screen had been, the lights were glowing and shimmering and changing form and I'm finding it very hard to explain how they looked in detail now after the fact. I started to calm down immediately after seeing these lights, and I had the impression that it was some kind of entity. The fear faded away and the lights moved towards me and over me. As they passed over me I felt as if I was back in the physical in an instance and I shot my arm up into the air then opened my eyes and sat up to confirm it. My return had been instant with no lapse in consciousness. I also noticed I was quite snugly wrapped up in my blankets, yet upon returning to my bed I had simply laid down on top of them. This left me with little doubt upon waking that I had indeed left my body.
