Self-hypnosis

[Zhaylin]

I couldn't think of a place to put this, but this section seemed closest. I'm desperately wanting to retrieve memories from my past. Something happened, in my life, from at least the ages of 7-10 and I want to know what. I say that only because both my brother (4 years younger) and I had severe night terrors. We were living in Puerto Rico and my parents fought violently (mom threw a knife at dad for hanging up the phone when she was talking to her mom). The Military Police came out at least once. And then I was sent away to live with my grandmother for a few months. I have other strange tidbits of memory: >I was about 2 years old and in a crib with a baby boy. The curtain had fallen into the crib and there was a butter knife on the windowsil (sp) and then in the crib. One of my baby brothers died from SIDS but because of that memory I don't know if I've secretly blamed myself for his death or something. >I saw a girl eat glass at a fountain in a park when I was about 4 and I never saw her again. >A hobo (?) in the woods behind the same park said he'd give me some money if I did something (??) When I got home I was excited and told my mom and she slapped me. Because I was excited, I doubt I was abused. But why did my mom slap me? Better yet, my mom SWEARS that event never took place. I was about 4 years old. >I was a baby in the front seat of a vehicle. An older man was driving. He had to put on his brakes quickly and I ended up on the floor crying. The most confusing thing about my memories is that I was supposedly kidnapped, along with my younger sister, by her father and his brother when I was about 3 or 4. I was held in the back of a van at gunpoint, and yet I have no memory at all of that event. I've been a self-injurer since I was about 7 years old. Self-injurers, stereo-typically were abused, if not sexually abused, as young children. But that's not always the case. Sometimes children become SI-ers for other reasons, as in to cope with an abundance of chaos (my most likely reason because chaos is my major trigger to this day). Last Thursday I three times cut myself near my hip and they were deep enough for stitches though I took care of them myself without any. This seriously needs to stop. I figured the easiest way to do so is to confront the demons (so to speak) that drove me to SI to begin with. But how? My dreams aren't helping. So how about self-hypnosis? Sorry so long. If anyone has any info that may help, even if it's not about self-hypnosis, I would greatly appreciate it.

[Nemo]

A general outline for self hypnosis follows: * Find a comfortable place in which outside distractions will not disturb you. * Locate sources of physical tensions and relax them. Stretching may help. * Focus on breathing or so. An example visualization would be to imagine a staircase; for every breath, imagine yourself descending one step. With each step, affirm that you will relax more. Repeat this image until you are deeply relaxed, and reach the bottom. * Let your mind work out whatever it needs to. A note: be careful about generating false memories. It seems like you have a general framework of what you expect to find. Your mind could try to fill these expectations with false memories. One way to circumvent this is to deemphasize the actual memory, but instead focus on the present solutions that are available to you. With that consideration, there are probably many other avenues aside from self hypnosis that could lead you to the results you want. I am no expert; you may wish to consult one. I hope you find some of this useful. Good luck.

[Xetrov]

Hello Zhaylin, I dont want to sound too dramatic, but have you ever considered consulting with an actual psychiatrist? Although self-hypnosis might actually be helpful in dealing with what happened in your past, it also might not help a lot. Maybe you could try self hypnosis first as Nemo described, and if that does not seem to help a lot you could try actual hypnosis at a psychiatrist to see what he/she can figure out. Hope this helps a bit, good luck with it whatever you do!

[Zhaylin]

Thanks a lot to both of you Sorry it took so long to reply. I've been under the weather and haven't been on the forum much. I already see a psychiatrist ("pdoc"). Right now I see him every week but I normally see him monthly and have for the past 7 years or so. I'm "afraid" of true hypnosis, which is why I prefer doing it on my own... and I'm already familiar with some of my false memories ("memories" I've had since I was a teen that had been built on over the years). I recognize them as false. Thanks for the step-by-step, Nemo! I'll definitely give it a try.

[Licity]

Thanks a lot to both of you Sorry it took so long to reply. I've been under the weather and haven't been on the forum much. I already see a psychiatrist ("pdoc"). Right now I see him every week but I normally see him monthly and have for the past 7 years or so. I'm "afraid" of true hypnosis, which is why I prefer doing it on my own... and I'm already familiar with some of my false memories ("memories" I've had since I was a teen that had been built on over the years). I recognize them as false. Thanks for the step-by-step, Nemo! I'll definitely give it a try. If you want to get really technical, ALL hypnosis is self hypnosis. A hypnotist is just another type of guide for what you are trying to do, as opposed to an audio tape or disk or a book of hypnosis exercises. I can understand your fear, but remember that it is impossible to hypnotize someone in a way they don't like. All suggestions can be thrown out by the suggestee(new word!). If you still would rather pursue this yourself, Nemo has the right idea. If you want specific ways to relax, there are some pretty good relaxation exercises in the tutorial database on Dreamviews.