If you really want to know for sure, point your little finger at him and declare that you want to see his energy. Intend that you want to see it's energy body. If it dissolves into mist or morphs something smaller, it's just a DC. If you actually see some kind of energy, then you got company. Never tried it on a suspect DC, but it vaporizes everything else, I guarantee it or your money back. Try it, seriously. (Sometimes nothing happens, but what dream skill doesn't fail randomly?)
But aside from that, from my shared dreaming experiences, and accounts of others, stuff like hair changes very often in a shared dream. The person's hair you are dreaming about will change quite frequently, and you could see any hairstyle they've had in their entire lives.
If there is a person coming into your dreams and kicking your ass, then you gotta admit they've got some skills, and you could look for signs of that. Pay attention to what that suspect DC's focus is on. If he was a lucid dreamer, wouldn't give a damn about the other DC or the plot unless it suited his needs.
Alternatively you could look for signs of weakness. If he's human, nobody's perfect. Does that DC ever get distracted by random things in the dream and forget about you? Lucidity doesn't last forever. I had one where the invincible guy who had been chasing me for 20 minutes suddenly became enthralled by some kind of ancient temple cave thing. I was like, WTF?, I'm over here!
But that's how you beat them. In one battle, my opponent was just destroying everything. So I gave him something to destroy. I summoned this humongous stone statue out of the ground, right in front of his advancing gargoyle creatures, and he just started tearing the thing apart like he did every thing else. But it was so big and rock solid, it was taking him a long time to destroy it. While he was busy destroying my statue, I wandered off, sat under a tree to watch him for a bit, then left.
That's how you win a dream battle. If you think it has to do with how tough and bad ass you are, you're just not even playing the same game and don't stand a chance.
When things go really bad in my dreams, I instinctively retreat to the river in my hometown and jump in the rapids, which most sane people would never do, and it usually foils most of my opponents. Gives me a huge advantage anyways. In one early NS encounter, I was on the run (while lucid, which for me is a last resort), and retreated by diving into one of the most violent set of rapids. The NS complimented me before he followed me in, and that was that last I saw of him for that night. It was his compliment that made me realize what an overwhelming effect those white water rapids have on the senses when your are in them, which gave me my first clue to what dream control was really about.
If you think it was some kind of NS, then look at those dreams from a tactical view to see where you went wrong. Specifically at what he did right, since to be NS, you gotta know what you're doing. Just look at what you were both paying attention to, and you will probably see that you were paying attention to what he wanted you to.
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