I wasn't sure where to post this....

**JadedDreamer24** · 06-22-2013 04:41 AM

So, I've had dreams off and on where I know I'm dreaming. The catch is the same person is ALWAYS there in the most lucid ones.... He never looks the same, but I KNOW he is the same person every time. Every time I see him, there is a part of me trying to stay away and stay very leery of him, but the other part of me feels like he is a part of me that is missing, like there is a connection. When I wake up, I wake up ill, heart-broken (for a lack of better wording), and depressed.

In my latest dream, though, it was like he made himself very apparent. He purposely attempted to make me jealous and opened up to me a more aggressive side of himself. He followed me EVERYWHERE, even into my own "home". I, in real life, am most modest and "propper" around my family. Always have been. In my dream, it was like he knew that and tried to push my buttons, to push me a little out of my comfort zone. In this dream, I actually tried adamantly avoiding him to no avail and even gave in and stayed with him in some areas of my dream, trying to not be attracted to him... but once again, when I woke up, I felt absolutely distraught.

I have no idea what is going on or who this person is. I don't know if there is more to this or if it is simply in my head. I apologize if I sound absolutely crazy, please overlook me. I'm just trying to get other opinions about this, b/c I don't know just how to handle this type of hurting heart.

**RedNaxela** · 06-22-2013 04:50 AM

That is a very interesting post, JadedDreamer24.

You might want to read up a bit on the Jungian idea of the anima and animus. Jung suggests that we often encounter a character of the opposite sex that embodies those features of the gender we are not, but posess inside ourselves to some extent. This is considered part of the 'dark side' of the mind, which should not be seen as particularly negative. Often, the dark side contains exciting and creative aspects of ourselves that we normally reject.

Often individuals who encounter a figure like this who have psychoanalytic oversight are encouraged to understand, incorporate, and learn from these figures, but not to mistake them for a 'true' and complete repressed self - just another side of ourselves that we tend to reject for one reason or another.

**JadedDreamer24** · 06-22-2013 05:04 AM

That is a very interesting thought. I had thought about something like that to some extent. I have experienced my "dark side" before, but I tend to have to be careful b/c I get somewhat hypersensitive I guess you could call it. I get easily worked up and upset b/c I let myself experience too much of my opposite self. It's weird, I know, and probably doesn't make much sense. And the man in my dreams has never displayed such actions until now. He had always played a simple part and would just barely stay long enough to be noticed and then basically be gone again. I know the behavior recently displayed was behavior not uncommon for my opposite side, but I was surprised by his behavior changing. I ended up fearing him, yet feeling drawn to him. I will research this more, though, I am highly intrigued. Thank you.

**Sivason** · 06-25-2013 04:05 AM

Originally Posted by JadedDreamer24

In this dream, I actually tried adamantly avoiding him to no avail and even gave in and stayed with him in some areas of my dream, trying to not be attracted to him... but once again, when I woke up, I felt absolutely distraught.

Can you share with us one honest fact? It would help a lot in understanding. Are you in a committed relationship, such as married? Is their a part of you that would feel dirty or like you were cheating if you fantasized about someone other than your real life partner?

**JadedDreamer24** · 06-25-2013 04:28 AM

I guess that would've been helpful information! lol. No, I'm completely single. No real romantic prospects, either. I'm not distraught about it, either. I don't feel the NEED for a significant other really so it doesn't phase me. With that being said, I would have no reason to feel dirty about it. When I said distraught, I meant as in distraught that it was a dream, that he wasn't there. Idk what my deal is with it.

**Chimpertainment** · 06-25-2013 06:39 AM

That sounds like an interesting experience and one to which I can relate. I would agree with RedNaxela that this dream has a strong Animus archetypal theme. My suggestion/opinion would be to explore it further. Write about it, draw, do something creative with the dream. Then incubate the dream and imagine a different outcome, or ask a question. Even just focusing on the dream memories can help process the dream content. If possible, becoming lucid and interacting would be a big advantage as well. The more communication the better.

**JadedDreamer24** · 06-25-2013 02:27 PM

I wish they happened often enough to do that. I can't force him into a dream. The person ends up being a hollow dream person. He comes seemingly as HE pleases. And even when I had the dreams, I've wanted to ask him who he was. It was weird, it was MY dream, I knew that, and I knew I could do as I wanted/needed to, but it was like I wasn't allowed to ask, I was unable. And when I try to recreate the dream itself, I can never get his face back. It becomes blurred. I feel as if I'm not supposed to see him again until, like I said before, he chooses. I don't know if my mind is trying to not remember him or if it relates to the fact he looks different every time. He just feels the same/gives off the same vibe. I've tried doing a little research on the animus, but I'm going to need to do more to understand it better. I'm sorry if I sound completely crazy, y'all. That's why I wasn't sure where to post or anything or whether I should say anything at all. Thanks for all the help y'all are giving me!

**Despierto** · 06-26-2013 12:13 PM

Now, looking at this from a metaphysical standpoint, the only reason for you to cross-connect to a perhaps "past-life"-romance would be if it was necessary. Whatever he is, he is here to show you something.
You said you don't feel any need for a significant other and I assume you walk around with that attitude and perhaps it is repelling romance. And with this romantic energy entity entering your dreams and awakening those kinds of feeling within you it may be just to prepare you for meeting 'a significant other'. Since you are not "practicing" romance in your real life, you are instead forced to do so in your dreams. That makes sense to me, because these experiences increases the chances of you allowing that special someone to come into your life.

Best thing you can do is seriously ask yourself if you want romance or not, and do it in a deep state. Maybe, the feeling about that you don't need it is denial. You can even ask yourself if you want it or not and come to the final conclusion that you don't and still you can't see that a deeper part of you actually wants it, because we are not always in contact with the deeper aspects of ourselves.

Also, if you are wondering why these experiences are happening now and not before. It could be because you were not ready and if you are not ready(to atleast some degree) for a romantic experience and still undergo it, that would only de-evolve you and bury the need for romance even deeper.

These experiences happening in this timing is maybe because you are at a appropriately mature level to investigate the positive experiences of romance instead of just de-evaluate it and walk away from it(which is more easily done than trying to integrate romantic feelings).

**JadedDreamer24** · 06-26-2013 02:43 PM

I actually don't act that way. I've only ever turned down one guy as far as dating but that was bc he was being childish if I didn't text him and etc (he's in his late 20s, early 30s; hasn't he learned most things go both ways now??). I only adapted that personal mindset bc of the not very good endings I've had with past relationships.
I know deep down that there IS someone out there for me. I see couples and even secretly envy their happiness sometimes. I am too much of a romantic soul to be alone forever. I just use my mindset to remind myself that my time will come, it's no issue to really honestly press bc I know I will have my turn. There's no need to force it.
I've been prepared for relationships, I let them get to me on a personal level, I came short of being married once even (I was cheated on and left). I just feel as if I'm supposed to wait sometimes bc I haven't met someone that I have THAT connection with. (It's hard to when its a guy in your dreams kinda top all feelings you've ever had for someone, oddly.)

And the dream person has been in my dreams for quite some time now, he just isn't there frequently, nor did he ever really participate in my dreams, but he would be there and I'd always acknowledge him. And he has always left that distraught feeling no matter the dream situation. I think the first time I met this dream person was back when I was like 7th/8th grade (I am 24 and out of college now). Yeah, it's all weird. I can't make sense of any of it. Never had thought to dig into any of it until here recently when he actually participated in the dream unlike before. And idk if it means anything to anyone, but even though his appearance would always change, he ALWAYS had eyes that felt like they could pierce your soul and/or see right through you.

Thanks again for everyone helping me with different theories and whatnot. I really do appreciate it. I wouldn't be worried if it didn't affect my real life emotions. I'm finally at the tail end of the anxiety and feeling of loss from the last dream with this guy in it. I know I shouldn't get worked up over the dream, but it was just overwhelming I guess. Thanks again!

**Voldmer** · 06-26-2013 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by JadedDreamer24

And even when I had the dreams, I've wanted to ask him who he was. It was weird, it was MY dream, I knew that, and I knew I could do as I wanted/needed to, but it was like I wasn't allowed to ask, I was unable.

If you're not allowed to ask him what he is up to, then maybe you could direct your question elsewhere.

I, for my part, have not had much succes with this, but others apparently have (e.g. R. Waggoner/author of "Lucid Dreaming"). Try shouting out your question to the dream maker (i.e. the part of you which creates the dreamscape), and expect an appropriate answer. For example: "What's the purpose of this mysterious dream person stalking me?", or words to similar effect.