I don't know why I can't attain Lucidity.

Hello Dreamers,

I really need some help, because I can't find the reason why the Lucid Dreams seem to run away from me.

I have been practicing Lucid Dreaming for around 3.5 years, that includes DILD and around 2 years ago I tried WILD + WBTB, but that was a failure.
I just do the basic DILD (you know, genuinly asking myself if I am dreaming or awake, checking my surroundings for dream signs, doing some RC, doing mantra) and I do that a few times a day, it is a habit since I came across LD-ing.
I added a technique called SRM around a week ago (It might help, we will see). I have a dream journal, my dream recall is ok I think, although it changes from time to time, sometimes I can roughly remember one dream per week, but most of the time I can remember one dream per night (even though not always fully complete).

The problem with all this is, that in these 3.5 years, I had only 3 Lucid Dreams total. In these years, I always read about LD-ing, Dream induction, Dream experiences and similar stuff on the internet. Most of the people have Lucid Dreams after about a month or two after they start to practice (at least thats what I read). So then I thought about that and was confused: "I have been doing that for about a year now and still no Lucid Dream. Maybe I need just more time and maybe I'm just unlucky". I thought to myself after I read experiences of other people. So being the patient creature that I am, I just kept on practicing. I admit there were a few weeks where I didn't even think about LD-ing, but I always tried to be motivated enough so I kept on practicing (I'm even practicing right now, while writing this post ;) )

But now I realized, that time just can't be the thing that hinders me from achieving a steady stream of Lucid Dreams (or at least more LDs than one per year). I always thought, that I was too impatient and that I need to practice a few months more. But I found posts on the internet (on this site too) where some people seem to give up after a few months. Thats understandable of course, I don't mean to offend anyone's patience skills. But after 3.5 years you do lose motivation, trust me. In this time I always motivated myself to carry on, keep on practicing, "Soon they will come", I always thought, even though life isn't always easy for me.

Thats why not so long ago I joined these forums, hoping that I can finally raise my LD-rate, if someone is willing to help me.

Don't know what else to say... eat Vegetables, be nice to others, don't abuse animals or little children and so on...
(I mean seriously, Don't abuse animals or children if some of you do O_O It's not a good behaviour)

I wish you all a good night ;)

(Sorry for the long post and sorry for bad english, I just wrote down my thoughts)

;)

If anything I think you probably need to work on your dream recall. You might be having more lucid experiences but simply not recalling them.

I started journaling my dreams about 5 weeks ago. Prior to that I maybe had a couple of recalled dreams a week and now I am averaging several a night and sometimes up to 5, 6 and 7. Usually at least 1 is a full and complete dream with decent to very good detail.

I can only say you are not alone. I have been trying for 4 years now, but I've also had motivation problems for a long time now. There are some weeks where I am truly motivated and confident to succeed, but the results aren't satisfying. Even when I know that I am dreaming and act on it in some way, I am still passive and not feeling lucid. Only once have I experienced being awake inside a dream, but that one time is what always brings me back to it, knowing that it's possible. It seems we both share that advantage!

The only advice I can give you is keep trying new things. Maybe try to WILD again? As for RC/awareness training, I found that the most effective method for me is the one that doesn't exhaust my mind at all. If I get tired of it, I will surely fail.

Here are a few simple tips that I know increase my chance of more awareness in my dreams:

1. Do the NO FAP challenge. The sexual frustration will make you more in the now and become more present, you will feel it during the day as well. (+ Sex dreams..)
2. Meditate - One 20 min session during the day and one session which you fall asleep on in the evening. Less thoughts = more awareness.
3. Longer Sleep - More sleep equals more time spent in REM which give you a higher chance to notice a dream.

Notice that none of the steps above mentions any practise of reality checks and dream journaling.


The most common problem with motivation is that you feel that you aren't in control, that is what makes you feel uneasy.

So take control! Make a plan, when you decide your OWN criteria of success. Success is not getting a lucid dream, success is when you take the right actions torwards it. Let go of the result and focus on the action. When you truly enjoy the action, the result will come. Think of it like going to the gym, if you follow a technique or a routine and always look in the mirror for your result, you will ONLY feel good when you get your result. But if you focus on enjoying the taking action part itself you will ALWAYS feel good.
Developing a skill is a SLOW process so the result-mindset WILL make you unmotivated.
So instead of focusing on the technique or result, focus on the taking action part itself.

Criteria of success: (Mine are above) Do X for Y days. When those days are over you can start to reflect about what you can change and so on.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by acidbolt

I can only say you are not alone. I have been trying for 4 years now, but I've also had motivation problems for a long time now. There are some weeks where I am truly motivated and confident to succeed, but the results aren't satisfying. Even when I know that I am dreaming and act on it in some way, I am still passive and not feeling lucid. Only once have I experienced being awake inside a dream, but that one time is what always brings me back to it, knowing that it's possible. It seems we both share that advantage!

The only advice I can give you is keep trying new things. Maybe try to WILD again? As for RC/awareness training, I found that the most effective method for me is the one that doesn't exhaust my mind at all. If I get tired of it, I will surely fail.

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Yeah, the motivation is a real issue after such a long time, even though I always try to motivate myself and know that I can have LDs (since I've experienced Lucid Dreaming just like you). Hopefully both of us will be able to have lucid dreams more often soon.

By the way, I really like the Majora reference in your avatar picture.

Gute Nacht ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MasterMind

Here are a few simple tips that I know increase my chance of more awareness in my dreams:

1. Do the NO FAP challenge. The sexual frustration will make you more in the now and become more present, you will feel it during the day as well. (+ Sex dreams..)
2. Meditate - One 20 min session during the day and one session which you fall asleep on in the evening. Less thoughts = more awareness.
3. Longer Sleep - More sleep equals more time spent in REM which give you a higher chance to notice a dream.

Notice that none of the steps above mentions any practise of reality checks and dream journaling.


The most common problem with motivation is that you feel that you aren't in control, that is what makes you feel uneasy.

So take control! Make a plan, when you decide your OWN criteria of success. Success is not getting a lucid dream, success is when you take the right actions torwards it. Let go of the result and focus on the action. When you truly enjoy the action, the result will come. Think of it like going to the gym, if you follow a technique or a routine and always look in the mirror for your result, you will ONLY feel good when you get your result. But if you focus on enjoying the taking action part itself you will ALWAYS feel good.
Developing a skill is a SLOW process so the result-mindset WILL make you unmotivated.
So instead of focusing on the technique or result, focus on the taking action part itself.

Criteria of success: (Mine are above) Do X for Y days. When those days are over you can start to reflect about what you can change and so on.

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Hi,

I'm sorry but I don't fully understand what you are saying. If I follow your mentioned tips, am I supposed to give up with DILD? Shouldn't I journal my dreams to raise my Dream Recall and shouldn't I also do an RC whenever I check my surroundings and question reality?
You also stated that I need to focus on my action to become lucid, not on the result. But whenever I do DILD and question the moment and reality, am I not focusing on the action? Please explain further what you mean because I'm really confused.

Good Night ;)

Sure thing :) Thank you for asking.

My way is just an indirect way of achieving dream recall, awareness, DILDs, awakenings during the night (WBTB)

But what I do is not important, what's important is that I continue to do it.

To put it simply:

The things I mentioned above are all actions that are intrinsically good (good in themselves) and they make me enter a state of mind that I enjoy.
No fap makes me happier do not ask me why I honestly do not know, meditation also makes me happier also it's a bit of a mystery to why, and sleep is essential for us and also makes us happier, again we still don't know why.

So my three steps are simply just MY way of enjoying taking action.

However, when you do something instrumentally which means that you do the action PRIMARILY to achieve something else, which isn't bad but when you don't enjoy this action... well it is bad because then you are basically a slave to the technique.

Happiness (or continuous motivation) does not come from the result, it comes from enjoying the action. The people who are happy with their jobs are those who don't need to get paid anything at all in order to do what they do. And since they enjoy what they do they take 400% more action than the average person and the big result is just a bonus not the price.

So when you choose a lucid dreaming technique make sure that you enjoy the practise more than the result and the result will come.

What I have done through my years of practise is to get so interested in the theory behind everything, for example I once used to make a whole idea about how awakenings triggers substances in the brain that trigger logical thinking and I just enjoyed making experiments to figure out more! So I did LEARNING my primary criteria of success and I had lucid dreams from time to time, perhaps not at a mastery level but one thing is for sure, I sure had more compared to those who quit. ;)

Also do not judge yourself and be realistic. Lucid dreaming is the act of becoming aware while you are asleep <- Read that again, do you see how advanced that skill actually is? We are really privileged to have access to this forum and all resources. But look around the forum! You are not the only one who experience problems with this. So to judge yourself and create a self-image as "The one who doesn't get lucid dreams frequently.." is equivalent to crying over having five fingers one your hand.. :P You are not a special snowflake!

So with the knowledge of knowing that this practise is not a walk in the park and most people give up you should really give yourself a pat on the back each time you practise this.

Last advice: When you feel down, watch motivational videos! Or meditate... But if you can't stop thinking, fill your mind with better thoughts!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5WY2RWWVkA

Congrats on the dedication. If you apply that dedication to all parts of your life, you can go far.

Like someone else mentioned, I would suggest working on improving your recall. I am sure you are well aware of the basic steps to increasing your recall.

Also how good is your daily awareness? We live in such a distracting world, it is hard to focus on the simple things in life. Increased awareness will carry over to your dreams and make it easier to spot differences that indicate you are dreaming.

I have had occasions when I have temporarily forgotten a lucid dream and then by sheer luck something happened during the day that reminded me that "hey, I had a lucid dream about that last night!".
This was a clear indication to me that dream recall should be as great as possible for the best success.

Also, I actually practiced on and off for almost two years before I had a single lucid dream.
Sure, I wasn't super-motivated, but I did have it on my mind quite often and attempted various techniques every now and then, and then one day I suddenly started having them several times a month for almost half a year, and now I have them about once per month if I don't work on it, and if I do work on them I can have 5-6 per month on average, which is pretty decent (I have had about 52 lucid dreams so far, I just haven't bothered updating my LD Count in a while :cheeky:).
So what I am saying here is that if you find the methods that work the best for you - in other words, methods that you find enjoyable and that actually make you excited rather than frustrated - then eventually you will start having lucid dreams.
That happened to me, and it can happen to you as well.

Just don't become frustrated, in my opinion this is always a sign that you are doing something wrong.
The quest for lucidity should be exciting, and one day you have reach your desired level.

I would start enjoying your NLDs. Instead of seeing them as failures to LD, enjoy them for what they are. Pay more attention to them, take pleasure in them, and make it a serious (but exciting) goal to be as aware of them, and remember as much, as possible. Watch them for signs of your progress, too. Are you RCing in them or talking to DCS about LDing? If LDing is very much on your mind, these layer 0 experiences should pop up.

If you are not doing micro WBTB, start. Michael Raduga has a great way to do this: wake up after 5 hours, pee, drink some water, and go back to bed. Tell yourself you're going to pay attention to natural awakenings that occur from here until you wake up. Then go back to sleep. Great way to remember and be present in your dreams (and to DEILD) as well.

And Yuusha is right: nothing kills your ability to LD faster than frustration and anxiety. Do what you can, and take joy in your dreaming mind.