My close dreams...any advice?

I have had two instances where I almost became lucid (through the DILD technique). I'll describe them, and then I'd really like some advice of what I did wrong.

Okay, first one: I had some dream memories already (I was in a school for some reason), but I was also pretty sure I was dreaming. So, when I did a reality check, a DC handed me a phone, and I thought it was my dad whispering in my ear IWL...until it became unintelligible. Then the whole dreamscape blew apart and I was floating above it, and suddenly a banshee came out of nowhere and screamed really loud. I could tell it was time to wake up as soon as I started floating, but I didn't expect the banshee to be the last thing I saw.

Second one, much more recent...my mom was standing on the ladder above my bunk bed. I did a reality check, but I guess I didn't expect it to work because the dream was so vivid...so my reality check failed and I was so shocked I immediately woke up. I can't recall the rest of the dream, because my dream recall is weird...I remember some more details after a couple hours but then I forget the others. (Is that unusual?)

How close was I, and does anyone have any advice?

That's good progress! Nothing wrong with what you did. Whatever you're doing so far, it's working, so stick with it. You just want to strengthen what you're already doing and also start to incorporate some new tasks.

I'll say that it's common to have these short lucid experiences in the beginning and feel like you missed on opportunity. But actually, it's part of a gradual improvement. It's also common to have that later-recall phenomenon you mentioned. Often, it takes some time for your mind to consolidate memories, or it takes some other seemingly random stimulus to trigger more memory (like seeing a person or place from the dream later in the day).

When starting, I think it helps to think of two separate measures: quantity and quality. To improve quantity means to have more frequent lucid experiences. To improve quality means to have longer, more satisfying experiences. I'll get to quality in a second but let me stress the importance of this first: When you've had a few lucid experiences, it's tempting to jump to just improving quality, but that might be a mistake. More lucid experiences (quantity) means more opportunities to learn and experiment. So, keep up your diligence to continue to improve quantity. That means keep writing in a dream journal. Make sure you get regular, good quality sleep. Refine your dreamsigns, mantras, reality checks, or whatever else is working for you.

Now to quality. To extend a lucid dream, you need to plan and rehearse beyond just the moment of lucidity. Lucidity is the first crucial step, but now it's time to start thinking deeper into the lucid dream. What do you want to do? Fly? Summon a person? Talk to a DC? Whatever it may be, you want to have a plan in mind with a strong intention. Write about it in your journal to reinforce this intention. Immediately after you become lucid, the next thing to do is to start your plan. A good first plan action is to engage your senses to stabilize the dream and strengthen your lucidity. Rubbing your hands is a good example. As is shouting a command to the dream world. You can touch a nearby object, or even smell or taste it. Search these forums for "stabilization techniques" for plenty of info on this.

To sum it up, you should have this desire: "I want to have a lucid dream AND then (fill in the blank)." Always connect lucidity to some other component so that your mind is primed to extend the lucid dream longer and accomplish the second part.

You're very close man, don't worry and keep it up. Even if you fail a few more times you will be able to stabilize the dreams soon. It's just about practice.

Yeah, thanks guys. One time a DC started talking to me and then he said something like, "So you want to have a lucid dream?"

Then I woke up.

Tell him next time: "You bet I do!!!! And I will!!!!!!!!!!!!!"