Thread: Trying to get lucid when you have small children?

I did a search for a similar thread but didn't find any. Still I find it hard to believe I might be the only one on here that has small children.

Just wanted to share/commiserate with others that might be in this too. I am getting rather frustrated, because while others can wake up when they choose to wake up, track their sleep cycles, take naps, etc., I can't. My sleep revolved entirely around my kids and their sleep. But I refuse to give up my goal to get lucid

If anyone out there has some tips or tricks for me, I'd be more than open to hearing them, or if anyone is in the same situation and just wants to join me in my frustration, that's ok too!

I know some people have had success with LDs during afternoon/evening naps, so maybe take a nap when the day is pretty much over for you and your kids but they aren't in bed yet. If you want to practice WBTB, rather than getting up a little early you could try waking in the middle of the night but just for 10-15 minutes, then going back to bed, I'm not sure how well that'd work though, as I've never tried that.

Enroll them in preschool!

Hi.
I would say that it all depends on the age of the children. My daughter is 3 in few days so her sleeping is now not so much of problem like it was a year or more ago, but still... I guess I know how you feel. Anyway, keep trying and you will be rewarded.

I personally feel that reason behind my low LD count is not being awaken by her or not being able to have a nap in afternnons, but my insufficient dream awareness - sometimes I experience strange things in my dreams but none of them trigger my "Oh, it's dream" realization.

Lucidreaman
Hi.
I would say that it all depends on the age of the children. My daughter is 3 in few days so her sleeping is now not so much of problem like it was a year or more ago, but still... I guess I know how you feel. Anyway, keep trying and you will be rewarded.

I personally feel that reason behind my low LD count is not being awaken by her or not being able to have a nap in afternoons, but my insufficient dream awareness - sometimes I experience strange things in my dreams but none of them trigger my "Oh, it's dream" realization.

I know what you mean by the awakenings being of some help to remember dreams and also to use for WBTB, WILD, FILD, etc. It actually did help me also, that first time I tried my WILD was right after my son woke me up. Where I run into problems is trying to figure out my REM cycles. I don't know how I can effectively chart them if I'm being woken up. So that leads to poor dream recall, leading to not knowing my dream signs, and then not seeing them in the dream. It's a slippery slope And the day is out of the question for naps!
It's comforting to know there is someone out there that knows what I am talking about though ty!

Ayanizz
That's the spirit, bite through it I read your other thread about the problems you're having (trying to LD while having to take care of kids, and no reliable sleep pattern and so on) and I should actually answer this in that thread but hey: the suggestion posted on there about taking short naps (if possible) could be a saver WILDing through naps works well, you can find more info about it floating around somewhere

Yes, and I must thank you and Royaltramp for this suggestion I do what I can for naps, but it's a bit difficult. I have a 9 month old and a 4 year old. I am home alone with them during the day. They never want to nap during the same times, sometimes the 4 year old doesn't want to nap at all - so I can't. As for evening naps.. well, by the time evening rolls around I am so exhausted that there is only sleeping. That's usually when I prepare myself for a DILD, with B6, lots of apple juice, etc. but so far no luck with those either.

So what I've done lately is just go to bed at 10pm. I set my alarm for 3am. If the baby wakes me up at 1am, which he does sometimes, then I feed him and try a WBTB WILD after. If not, I sleep through to my alarm and wake up then for a WBTB WILD.
That's what I did last night anyway. Little one slept through so I woke up to the alarm at 3am. So frustrating though, couldn't remember any dreams at all, and hit the SP wall again in my WILD. I lay there and feel all floaty, sometimes the fuzzy vibes come but they never stays around before petering out again, leaving me back in the floaty blackness. I am going to reread some tutorials to see what can help.
Sooo frustrating!!

r2d2651
Enroll them in preschool!

I wish! Here in Germany they can start "kindergarten" at age three. My four year old is waiting for a place. Because I have no job (I'm a haus frau! LOL!), my 9 month old must wait until he's 3

Originally Posted by OwlDreamz

I lay there and feel all floaty, sometimes the fuzzy vibes come but they never stays around before petering out again, leaving me back in the floaty blackness.

Next time you hit the "fuzzy vibes" (I like that ), and I mean the vibes where you feel like you're in a full on massage chair, try "sinking" in to them. It might sound kinda weird but it always helps for me. I noticed that as soon as you start focussing on them too much, you might chase it away. If you let yourself sink into them though, you might hit a lucid

Originally Posted by Ayanizz

Next time you hit the "fuzzy vibes" (I like that ), and I mean the vibes where you feel like you're in a full on massage chair, try "sinking" in to them. It might sound kinda weird but it always helps for me. I noticed that as soon as you start focussing on them too much, you might chase it away. If you let yourself sink into them though, you might hit a lucid

Ooo ok, that's an idea. I was trying strange things with my eyes, like looking deeper into my head, if that makes any sense, and it did sort of work for a few seconds, but then fade again. Maybe more luck with the sinking. I have so much trouble trying to turn the observer off. I think and anchor is what's needed too... been reading billybob's WILD tutorial and now thinking maybe I have been going about things the wrong way, or more likely, the wrong way for me. We shall see tonight, if my little brats cooperate!
again Ayanizz!

Yes, ja.

No, in my case, when my daughter awakens me, I'm just annoyed / I don't take any advantage of it and don't do any WILD. I just try to turn around and sleep again.

I didn't even try to check my REM cycles. I believe that if my awareness is high enough that then I will realize I'm dreaming. Simple like that.
For example I don't think I need some dream signs to realize I'm dreaming. Like in the last dream / there were some lion and I was afraid of him. Then I thought / wait a minute / lion in our city? I must be dreaming! And I did a RC. And yes! I WAS dreaming.

Originally Posted by Lucidreaman

For example I don't think I need some dream signs to realize I'm dreaming. Like in the last dream / there were some lion and I was afraid of him. Then I thought / wait a minute / lion in our city? I must be dreaming! And I did a RC. And yes! I WAS dreaming.

Then you must have managed to turn the logic section of your brain back on during dreaming.. you lucky Lucidreaman you. Mine is still very much in the off position. Crazy stuff happens in my dreams (when I do remember them), and I'm like... WHY didn't that snap me into lucidity??

But lately I am just trying to get my Dream Recall back. I used to be so good at it, when I wasn't trying. Figures. Now that I need it, it's MIA!
Must calm down and not expect too much of myself...

Yes - as you said - it's like turning on the logic. But it's pretty rare for me. Just for example yesterday I went to sleep very early - like at 21., since I didn't sleep for more than 4 hour last night. I had quite long dream with flying around and so and still didn't become lucid. So my logic is on only sometimes.
Looking forward today's night. Hope it will be better.

Well, saying that - I still have some dream signs but they didn't work for me yet.

And today it was even more strange and I still wasn't able to get it. I was in my bedroom and there was a lake and I was paddling around in my inflatable kayak and tried to sleep in it. So my logic seems more then pretty rare.

my daughter is almost 5. the weekends i have her it is tough to LD. i talk to her about it and she thinks it is the most obvious conclusion ever. "well of course you can just go back to sleep and go back in your dream and do it over, i do it all the time!"

she wakes me up between 6-7:30, i give her cereal and milk, turn on the tv, go to the bathroom and think about my last dream and try to focus on LDing, then i tell her "please do not bother daddy until it says 9:30 baby!" i then turn up the fan, put on the sleep mask and ear plugs and hope for the best. its never lasted until 9:30 yet, lol, there is always something she wants me to do or some juice has been spilled or my favorite, "daddy, i went poop!" thats a great way to wake up.

she has woken me up directly from two LD's, and I have had a few FA's where i think she is waking me up, but it's still in the dream.

Originally Posted by Lucidreaman

And today it was even more strange and I still wasn't able to get it. I was in my bedroom and there was a lake and I was paddling around in my inflatable kayak and tried to sleep in it. So my logic seems more then pretty rare.

That IS an odd one. So it seems to be luck of the draw I guess Any further luck, Lucidreaman? What were your dreams like last night? I got nothing! Boo!

Originally Posted by zhineTech

my daughter is almost 5. the weekends i have her it is tough to LD. i talk to her about it and she thinks it is the most obvious conclusion ever. "well of course you can just go back to sleep and go back in your dream and do it over, i do it all the time!"

Haha! Out of the mouths of children. I bet you just have to smile and nod your head to that one. Still, maybe a good opportunity to get your daughter ahead of the dreaming game, by teaching her about this stuff. I don't know how great her comprehension is though?

Originally Posted by zhineTech

she wakes me up between 6-7:30, i give her cereal and milk, turn on the tv, go to the bathroom and think about my last dream and try to focus on LDing, then i tell her "please do not bother daddy until it says 9:30 baby!" i then turn up the fan, put on the sleep mask and ear plugs and hope for the best. its never lasted until 9:30 yet, lol, there is always something she wants me to do or some juice has been spilled or my favorite, "daddy, i went poop!" thats a great way to wake up.

she has woken me up directly from two LD's, and I have had a few FA's where i think she is waking me up, but it's still in the dream.

2 hours by herself... a 4 year old? She must be very well behaved/content to watch t.v. (aside from pooping and spilling things, lol!) - my boys would find a way to burn the place down around me if I left them to their own devices!
But anyway I know the feeling... my little monsters wake up usually around 3am and then again (for good) at 5-5:30 am, or 6 if I am lucky. It makes me mental, but there isn't anything I can do about it really. I wish they would nap at the same time during the day. I could be contented with WILD attempts! Sigh.

I had some dream, but I didn't write it down in the night just after waking up so now I don't remember it.

In approx. last half year or more our daughter is not waking up in the night (usually) so she doesn't take me out of the dreams. And if she will, I will try now to use it as hints to do WILD - as I tried it only few times. I want to try method described by Michail Raduga / you can find the link here. I started to translate whole book into Czech and it does sound interesting.

BTW - zhine Tech, good sound you play - I checked the music on the link to SkyHi.

I have to double your statement about Robert's Waggoner book - it is just amazing. I already translated into Czech and looking for a publisher here in Czech. Before I read it I couldn't imagine that LD could have such a depth.

Thank you Lucidreaman for that recommendation! I read the thread before and meant to go download the book but then just got distracted with something else. I just downloaded it now and will dig into it!

Yesterday I wrote that my daughter usually doesn't wake me up so much. So that very night she woke me several times as she came and wanted to sleep in my bed. In that time I was listening to the CD (King Crimson) and trying to relax as deeply as possible. So I wasn't happy with her request, but couldn't help myself. So for some time I let her be in my bed and when she fell asleep I got up and went to sleep in her bed. Then she found out that I went away and started to protest and cry. I was slowly getting angry but then my wife came and calm her down. So finally I could sleep.

And at 1:30AM I woke up from nice LD.

I stayed awake for about 20 minutes during which I wrote my dream down. Then, hoping for another LD I went to sleep, but I don't remeber any other dream.

But apparently - being distracted by kid during the night doesn't prevent LD from happening. That's the good news.

Originally Posted by Lucidreaman

Yesterday I wrote that my daughter usually doesn't wake me up so much. So that very night she woke me several times as she came and wanted to sleep in my bed. In that time I was listening to the CD (King Crimson) and trying to relax as deeply as possible. So I wasn't happy with her request, but couldn't help myself. So for some time I let her be in my bed and when she fell asleep I got up and went to sleep in her bed. Then she found out that I went away and started to protest and cry. I was slowly getting angry but then my wife came and calm her down. So finally I could sleep.

And at 1:30AM I woke up from nice LD.

I stayed awake for about 20 minutes during which I wrote my dream down. Then, hoping for another LD I went to sleep, but I don't remeber any other dream.

But apparently - being distracted by kid during the night doesn't prevent LD from happening. That's the good news.

That's great news, Lucidreaman! It's nice when having kids actually helps our cause rather than hinder it! Sometimes kids act like unpredictable alarm clocks.
For example, my wonderful children that woke me up today at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep. Lovely.

4??? That's hard.
At 4 I went to bed yesterday. Hana (daughter's name) had birthday party today (3y) and I made a cake for her. Well, I'm a bit slow in kitchen... Next year I maybe buy some instead.

Originally Posted by Lucidreaman

4??? That's hard.
At 4 I went to bed yesterday. Hana (daughter's name) had birthday party today (3y) and I made a cake for her. Well, I'm a bit slow in kitchen... Next year I maybe buy some instead.

Ya, I am getting pretty far down to the end of my rope with it. My four year old just has no concept of being quiet and letting his brother sleep (they are in the same room), so it's kinda difficult right now.
How impressive you made a cake! I bet she loved it Will be doing that for my youngest soon as he turns one year in April. Time flies when you have kids, doesn't it?

On a side note I have decided to take a full break from DV and obsessing about LD in general for 1 week. I have read people's postings saying that if you try too hard it can slow you down, so I think one week of break might do me some good. We shall see. Wish me luck!!