So I have been having trouble attaining lucidity for what I've deemed TOO realistic dream settings. My mind, it seems, is forcing me to accept the dream as reality (while in the dream). I made a thread before where I literally convinced myself that it was not a dream, but in fact reality when I realised it was a dream, accepted it and went on as if it were real. But now it seems to be happening at a subconscious level, as well.

Then last night after bouts of sleep paralysis, I entered surrealism on the steps of my house and immediately performed a reality check by checking a wristwatch that I happened to have on. It read 4:48 AM. I looked away and looked back. It STILL read 4:48 AM so in my dream I rationalised that through failed test it must be reality so I continued what I was doing.

But then a bit later, I checked the watch again and the time was screwy, and started counting down, then jumping up. So it was then that I realised that it was in fact a dream-- but right as I realised this and attained lucidity, the entire dream collapsed and I could do nothing but desperately attempt to fly away.

And suddenly I was waking up, at my mum's and walking towards her room. I told her about the strange experience with the watch and realising I was dreaming without ever stopping to consider if in fact I was still dreaming. It was only until I reawoke in my own bed that I realised I had a false awakening. So my dreams, as soon as I realised I was dreaming, almost seemed to revamp themselves into an environment and situation that I would accept as real.

And to this very moment I cannot seem to distinguish if my bouts of sleep paralysis were real or a dream. At one point I awoke in the night to find my puppy cuddled up with me and I pet him and went back to sleep. But again-- I can't seem to tell if I had dreamed that or if it was reality.

I'm not sure what to make of all of this but is there any way I can cease my subconscious from trying to convince me that my dreams are reality? I would love to go lucid again, but it seems I'm unintentionally doing anything to prevent it!