Tell me about TRUE love

[ray]

i want to know what people think of it. this is not a "does it exist?" thread. it is a discussion on it, because i know it exists, i just want your opinions.. how far would you go to find it? who do you think it would be? that type of thing.

[thegnome54]

What are your requirements for 'true' love? Define it.

[Invader]

Do you mean soulmate? Or like the kind of love (infatuation) you feel for someone in a dream? I just think it's rare. And by rare, I mean I'd have an easier time looking for Uranium deposits without special equipment than I would looking for my 'true love'. I think that it's mostly hammered into everyone's head as a child when they watch the cutesy movies in which the princess meets her prince charming, or the hero always gets the girl in the end. To that line of media I raise my middle finger. It CAN happen. But it's like convincing everyone that they have a fair shot of winning the lottery. In the end I don't think it's worth putting any effort into. It's one of those things that happens or doesn't.

[Maria92]

i want to know what people think of it. Not to go all gooey lovemush, but true love (for me, anyway) is finding the one person you genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with, no matter what (given a set of PLAUSIBLE conditions and trials). The person that makes you simply happy to be around on a regular basis. True love is different from perfect love, in that it actually can exist. There will be fights and arguments, and much sleeping on the sofa, but if it is true love, both parties will stick it out and weather the storm. Finding a soulmate is unrealistic, and holding out for "the one," or whom you perceive to be the one, can lead you to pass up a lot of great people. Love is often found in unexpected places, and most people are perfectly capable of falling in love with more than one person. Too often, people confuse "love" with "infatuation." Love is what's left after the infatuation dies. Shagging a person in your dreams is very different from waking up next to the same person after 27 years and being happy that you're still together. how far would you go to find it? Relationships need work from both parties to work out in the long run, no question about it. It will require effort to maintain a relationship. Similarly, finding somebody is going to take a bit of work. As I said, waiting for your Prince Charming or hoping to luck upon some dame snoozing in the forest isn't going to get you far at all. You have to take care of yourself, not be a total prick, and keep your eyes (and your mind) open to the possibilities. If you aren't attracted to someone, then you aren't very likely to go falling head-over-heels in love, but at the same time, you don't need to shoot only for the supermodels or the celebrities. Keeping your priorities in check is essential. And if you find someone you think you may like, go over and ask them out. What have you got to lose? That's what dating is designed for: to figure out if you might like to spend a good portion of your life with that person. who do you think it would be? Fucked if I know. I've seen some cuties I'd like to shag, I'll admit, but nobody that screams "soulmate," and I doubt I'll ever meet anyone who does. Honestly, you don't know if you love someone until you spend a significant amount of time in a relationship. "Love at first sight" is more like "infatuation at first sight." The first couple of years may be fun, sure, but when the thrill wears off, you'll know if you're in love or not. Keeping the relationship interesting should be a priority, but if it feels like a chore and you really aren't all that happy to see your significant other, you probably aren't in love. Eh, just my two cents.

[bonthan]

I'd have to agree with both Invader and Mario, while it does exist, it is exceedingly rare, so rare that, in fact, I have never seen it in real life. But true love, in my opinion, must be formed by both parties. True love is as powerful as the love between a mother and a child, but a different kind. Mario is also right at the point that most people mistake infatuation with love, even though infatuation can be as emotionally powerful, but infatuation has an expiration date, but true love is eternal. I personally would go everywhere to find it, but I won't, since I don't know where true love is. And I probably, like most people, will never find it. I've met a lot of girls who at first seemed perfect for me, then after while, you discovered they are not. That process of discovery usually takes a long time, which is why it was so hard to find a soul mate. Damn, thinking about this just want to me to close my eyes and dream. I guess true love occurred a lot in old times, though. When there were a lot of wars and bad things happen, people, couples, weathered hardships together which fortified their bonds.

[Cacophony]

It sucks. Don't do it.

[ray]

lol @ cacophony,i'm sorry for you. hmmmm interesting guys i should of made a poll so next question, one of you already vioced your opinion on this, but: does it have to be both parties? or scratch that does it have to be the same amount of love. like could the two people love the other differently and it still be true?

[Invader]

lol @ cacophony,i'm sorry for you. hmmmm interesting guys i should of made a poll so next question, one of you already vioced your opinion on this, but: does it have to be both parties? or scratch that does it have to be the same amount of love. like could the two people love the other differently and it still be true? I'm not sure how love would be measured in a "true love" relationship. It would be pretty damn strong on both sides. Are you familiar with the phenomenon that occurs between old couples when one of them passes away? How the other person, heartbroken, would pass away very soon after? There's a name for the condition... But, something like this.

[Maria92]

Well, you could have brother-sister love and one-sided love, sure, but if it's true love, then by definition, it kinda has to prevail all obstacles, which would include anything that would keep one party from loving the other. EDIT: Cool catgirl avvy.

[Baron Samedi]

i want to know what people think of it. this is not a "does it exist?" thread. it is a discussion on it, because i know it exists, i just want your opinions.. how far would you go to find it? who do you think it would be? that type of thing. 1) True love does not exist outside the self. It must come from within. Therefore, you do not need to go anywhere to find it. 2) True love is a force, not a person.

[ray]

i meant what type of person do you think you would fall in love with, cuz for me it was almost the complete opposite

[Lëzen]

I'd like to say I'd do anything to find a true "soul mate" with whom to spend the rest of my life, but the chances of that occurring seem depressingly low. If modern divorce rates are any indication of just how fucked love is in general, I'd say my chances of finding true love are somewhere up a rat's ass. Ideally, though, my true love would be a woman with whom the following can be said: -She would share at least a few of my main hobbies/interests (shares my taste in music, avid gamer, etc.) -She would stand by my side no matter what happens (would go out of her way to comfort me when I'm ill, etc.), which would be a quality that I would reciprocate -She would be a rational person so that, even when we can't see eye-to-eye on a certain issue, she would concede to an "agreeance to disagree" -She would be a person with whom I can always share a comfortable silence, rather than an awkward silence -And, of course, she would share an amazing biological chemistry with me, wherein a simple kiss would be as intense as lightning ...Maybe I should stop right there, 'cause now I'm starting to get depressed at the (very real) prospect that this woman doesn't exist.

[Maria92]

Ideally, though, my true love would be a woman with whom the following can be said: -She would share at least a few of my main hobbies/interests (shares my taste in music, avid gamer, etc.) -She would stand by my side no matter what happens (would go out of her way to comfort me when I'm ill, etc.), which would be a quality that I would reciprocate -She would be a rational person so that, even when we can't see eye-to-eye on a certain issue, she would concede to an "agreeance to disagree" -She would be a person with whom I can always share a comfortable silence, rather than an awkward silence -And, of course, she would share an amazing biological chemistry with me, wherein a simple kiss would be as intense as lightning Yeah, pretty much this. I'm not as particular about the hobbies thing, but if I had to add to the list, I'd factor in a quiet nature without a need for companionship at all times, a strong level of trust betwixt us, and a strong intellect. Oh, and a willingness to try new things, whether that be activities, food, experiences, or whatever. A bit of an adventurous nature, I guess.

[Invader]

"Same" sense of humor. There's my list.

[hgld1234]

I think that the person you're gonna be with also gotta be your best friend, but more so.

[Maria92]

I think that the person you're gonna be with also gotta be your best friend, but more so. Beware the friendship zone!

[ArcanumNoctis]

Beware the friendship zone! lol, so true. Anyhow, I've tried going for the complete opposite and the complete same. Both are crazy. I'm not crazy, or at least I don't think I am . From what I've experienced so far, I'm predicting my type is someone I'll find at a library or university setting. A nice individual who is an intellectual with ambition...

[IndigoGhost]

I would do anything for it, but i will never find it. The problem with it is that both parties have to have a similar intellect, and where there may be a great girl i really like and she likes me if shes not that smart and she like celebrities and fashion where i like quantum physics and sci-fi its not gonna work. Eventually i will just feel as if she is inferior in some way and she will start looking up to me as "I don't get her" and then that will be the end of the relationship. Its harsh but all my 19 years on earth i have not found a girl of similar intellect and as much as i try to like the girls that are normal i really find it hard especially when they talk about a subject of something like celebrities and i don't want to because i have already transcended the usual sheepish attitude of the normal human race. Life is hard when you understand the mind of the person your talking to when they dont even scratch the surface of whats really going on.

[hgld1234]

I'm not normal then- couldn't care less about celebs. And proud of it. Why spend a lifetime fantazising about someone who is not even gonna chat to you on your blog/webpage/facebook?

[IndigoGhost]

I'm not normal then- couldn't care less about celebs. And proud of it. Why spend a lifetime fantazising about someone who is not even gonna chat to you on your blog/webpage/facebook? That makes you special then ^_^

[Maria92]

That makes you special then ^_^ You, sir, have never been to a Star Trek convention or a video game convention or any other nerd hangout. Granted, the ladies are somewhat sparse, but there is still usually a very good turnout. Not all girls are into just fashion and celebs. Beware the "popular" ones, as they likely are, but chicks are human beings, too, and have broad and diverse interests. Just gotta know where to look.

[IndigoGhost]

You, sir, have never been to a Star Trek convention or a video game convention or any other nerd hangout. Granted, the ladies are somewhat sparse, but there is still usually a very good turnout. Not all girls are into just fashion and celebs. Beware the "popular" ones, as they likely are, but chicks are human beings, too, and have broad and diverse interests. Just gotta know where to look. True, but the shallow girl's outnumber the others by lots, I am just happy that most of the girls here on DV are actually independent free thinkers. It makes me happy to think that some people can be free and not be sheep.

[Maria92]

DV seems to be rather unique in many aspects, including the high concentration of INTJ and INTP personality types. INTJ shows up in about 1% of the average population, and INTP in about the same. Yet, here they compose what I would guess to be at least 15-25%. Introverts...a minority in the regular population and a majority of the gifted population, I guess. Well, more on-topic, hang in there. You'll meet a wonderful nerd girl who will sweep you off your feet someday. Then you'll have a bunch of nerd children who will slowly grow up to aid in the nerd uprising, at which point world domination will be imminent and the age of Star Trek shall be upon us all.

[hgld1234]

What exactly is INTJ and INTP? EDIT: I did some Web research and a quick test and just happen to be INTJ.

[Maria92]

EDIT: I did some Web research and a quick test and just happen to be INTJ. You and me both.