Thread: Tell me about quotation marks

I saw them used in two different ways online:

'lalala'

and

"lalala"

Which one is correct?

Use the double prime symbol whenever you're quoting something, and the single prime if that quote is quoting something.

Example: Bob said, "The weatherman said, 'There's a 50% chance of rain tonight.' Well duh! Either it will rain, or it won't!"

Ok thanx, and what if I want to show that some word is not meant to be taken literally or that it's irony? Such words are usually framed with quotation marks.

There's some correct convention, along the lines of,
If you're quoting what someone said, use one
If you're quoting what someone wrote, use the other

or somesuch
short of higher education English, just use whatever

But what if I'm not quoting anybody?

I have a habit of putting my own words in quotation marks... It's done when the word used is not entirely precise usually, to show just that. I can't even think of an example at the moment, it's so automatic...

OK here's an example taken from a book:

The circumstances under which people considered themselves to be their 'real self' differ.

Here 'real self' is not a quotation, it's how the author wrote out her own thought. Should you always use single quotation marks in this case?

I always use double quotes, when writing, when quoting someone or to indicate something is "so-called".

Ann said: "That man is so attractive, I would love to marry him!" She was referring to Clark Kent, a.k.a. "Superman" or the "Man of steel".

To show exaggeration when writing (on paper) I use italics to indicate exaggeration. I also use them to emphasize points.
On-line I tend to *'s instead.

The only time I use a single quote is when I'm paraphrasing something.
John 3:16 says: "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten Son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life."
As compared to:
What does that verse say again? Isn't something like: 'God loved us so much that he sent Jesus?' and that 'if we believe in him we'll be saved?'

I paraphrase the Bible a lot, so that's the only example I could think of right now lol.

The question I'd like settled once and for all is how to place periods and commas in relation to quotation marks. Example:

He said it was an "accident," but we all know the truth.

as opposed to

He said it was an "accident", but we all know the truth.

I have the impression that putting the comma within quotation marks is something my teachers have been teaching me since I first started school, but in more distinguished writings it seems that having the comma outside of the marks is perfectly acceptable.

The only universally accepted rule I'm aware of is that the comma is put within the quotes for story dialogue:

"This whole comma thing is ridiculous," said Lëzen.

Anyone know WTH's up with all this?