Tell me about how I can talk to a crush with ease

Alright, so there's this guy I'm interested in.
:]]
We've already met and all, but we haven't really hung out because I'm always with my friends and he is with his own group.
The next time I see him is on Wednesday, which is in a few days.
He gave me some signals that he was interested, he kept staring at me with a smile, a random hug, and also he acted like he wanted to meet me. The first time I saw him, we kept looking at each other but I didn't get his name that day. The next day he stopped my friend to hug her and he told me "Hey your that girl I talked to the other day" and tried giving me a hug that time, but my friend had already began walking away and the crowd was in the way. Later that same day he commented on my hollister shirt. I shrugged off what he said because I didn't hear him, but he said "I'm sorry that was mean" and I told him "Oh no, its okay" because I didn't care for hollister anyway. But he kept apologizing and sort of came in to give me a hug, which I let him.
He is the cutest thing though :]
I remember when I got back to class I asked M about him and she told me that she had the biggest crush on him last year and that he liked my friend A.
I was like "Aw man" but M told me "I think he's getting over her, she likes someone else anyway"
I was thinking next class I'd just ask her about him, tell her I'm interested, so maybe she can somehow ask him to eat lunch with us so we can talk more.
Is that a good idea?
But anyway, I'm not good with talking to guys, I get nervous and shake, not to mention the blushing :oops:
What should I talk to him about, or how I do I make him more interested in me? :? What do guys like to talk about anyway??
He's funny and extremely adorable :drool:, I don't want to mess this up:undecided:
:help:

You have a vagina, and you're talking to a guy.

Just remind yourself of that before you talk to him.

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Originally Posted by nitsuJ

You have a vagina, and you're talking to a guy.

Just remind yourself of that before you talk to him.

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Don't blow it off, he actually does make a valid point.

Yes... Major points for truthiness.



However, there is a bit of advice I can give you...

Just relax and let things flow. Blushing is cute. No need to worry about that. Shaking is, however, creepy. Don't do it. Just relax...

As for things to talk about: don't focus on coming up with anything. Let him do most of the 'coming up with stuff'. If this doesn't work out, he's either clueless, boring or shy... You take a pick.

However, if you want to talk about something, then just talk about whatever comes to mind, even if it's about candy or ice cream or garden gnomes. Focus on keeping the conversation flowing, and keep it fun. When you're having a fun conversation, you can even draw the stupidest connections, because the 'guidelines' of non-seriousness and humour have been established. At one time you're talking about, let's say, soccer, the subject slowly dies off, then jump up and say, in a highly ironic tone of voice, 'right, which brings us to dental floss. Do you floss before or after brushing your teeth?'.

Tip numero whatevero: don't be afraid of silences. Silences can be very easily filled with a simple smile or laugh (which won't be a problem for you... you'll be nervous as hell, so you'll laugh at anything) ('why are you laughing?' 'Oh, it's nothing, just a bit of food stuck in your mouth... Here, let me lick it out for you...' <-- note: not a good strategy).

Well... What're guys interested in? What you'd look like naked on his bed.

In all seriousness, though: When talking to anyone (male or female, young or old), just remember one thing. Their favourite topic of conversation is themselves. Come to think of it, it's also the thing they know most about. Have you ever asked a person how their holiday was? They'll always start talking, right? So when nothing comes to mind, talk about him. Comment on his sense of style, on his eye colour, on his mannerisms, on his hugs... Anything... Just blurt something out ('I always heard people with brown eye colour are more artistic... Say, do you do something with art?'). Just... talk... have fun... flirt... ('come to think of it... you hug me an awful lot, are you that desperate to get me into bed?').

But you want him to be interested in you? Well, then you've got to think a bit: what is interesting about you? What defines you? What aspect in your life defines who you are to other people? Are you a piano-girl? A soccer-girl? A dancer-girl? A karate-girl? Tell him about that. Just casually smuggle the subject in the conversation ('So you did [blablabla] last weekend, huh, say, do you have any other hobbies?' 'blablabla' 'Oh interesting, I play the piano, do you like piano music? I also do karate, so watch out or I'll whoop your ass!').

If he isn't interested in your interesting qualities, then maybe (if you have the balls), ask why he accepted your invitation to lunch. What was so interesting about you that he had to come (this may be an interesting question to ask regardless of his reaction to your interesting qualities). If you are dismayed by his answer (well, nothing... I just wanted some free food), then fuck him! (Note that I don't literally mean 'fuck him'... I'm saying 'leave him alone and go for someone else'. You don't want to be with someone who thinks you're only interesting as a piece of meat, and likes you just for that. And be sure he really means what he says... Don't ruin a potential relationship because of a joke). But, please, if that is the case, do it gracefully. Don't stand up and say 'fuck you!'. Finish the conversation, and don't hang out with him anymore. Simple.

And that's about it...


Be sure to report back after the lunch or whatever, mmkay?

Just don't act clingy or over-excited. Guys don't like that.

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Originally Posted by drewmandan

Just don't act clingy or over-excited. Guys don't like that.

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QFT.
FULL METAL JACKET.
MARINE MAN.

He seems awfully huggy for having just met you... but I guess to each their own. I love hugging my friends and family... but after I've known them for more than a grand total of 2 meetings.

As for how to talk to him... just talk. Don't think of him as a crush, think of him as "Jonny the guy next to me who's talking to me".
Don't think there needs to be anything set you should talk about, just talk.

I have this same problem, you seem to kind of put this guy on a pedestal. He's just a guy, and if you romanticize about what he's like then he'll only let you down if/when you get together.

Plus, as nitsuJ said... he has a penis and you have the all powerful vagina.
I've known many guys who put on these nice guy acts to get into some girl's pants and in actuality they're the biggest douches ever.

Honestly, though it may seem like a joke, nitsuJ has very valid points. Most guys will put most of the stress of social interactions with girls on themselves, they'll rely on themselves to keep topics of conversation flowing, and usually will assume they've done something wrong if the interaction goes downhill. You're putting too much stress on yourself, don't worry about it, although I understand the shaking and blushing, I have it too because I have an anxiety disorder. As was said though, in a girl, blushing is cute, so don't worry about that. Shaking isn't really particularly normal, you may have an anxiety disorder or something, I'm not sure, but you can practice breathing exercises to help you with that.

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Originally Posted by Bayside

Honestly, though it may seem like a joke, nitsuJ has very valid points. Most guys will put most of the stress of social interactions with girls on themselves, they'll rely on themselves to keep topics of conversation flowing, and usually will assume they've done something wrong if the interaction goes downhill. You're putting too much stress on yourself, don't worry about it, although I understand the shaking and blushing, I have it too because I have an anxiety disorder. As was said though, in a girl, blushing is cute, so don't worry about that. Shaking isn't really particularly normal, you may have an anxiety disorder or something, I'm not sure, but you can practice breathing exercises to help you with that.

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Plus blushing is a giveaway that you like him. If he likes you and notices this clear sign, then he will be more inclined to make his move.

Usually, the males assume most of the responsibility in courtship. You wouldn't believe how stressful it really is when you grow to really really like someone and they appear to have no interest in you.

as a dude, i will tell you it feels like god has touched you when a female really LETS YOU KNOW she likes you. Guys are stupid about these kinds of things. we either read into hints way too much or don't notice them at all. i do that latter. For example
Guy: So how was your weekend?
Girl: It was okay. I was too busy to have any fun. What about you?
Guy: i went to so and so's party and got way too drunk.
Girl: Aww... i wish i could've been there. i was just so busy. But i'm free this weekend. [at this point, most girls i know would stop and wait for you to ask her on a date. this isn't good enough. go one step further and say
Girl: we should REALLY [emphasis on REALLY] hang out this Friday.
Guy: [starts to stutter] blah blah blah [at this point, if he's interested, he will either go somewhere and beat himself in the face with his own foot for getting tongue tied and ask you out later; or he will ask you out right then, if he's smart. since you set him up for it and all.] women have no idea what it's like for us to ask you out. it's fucking terrifying. give the guy a break and set him up to ask you out. it makes it so much easier when he KNOWS she is interested.

Chicks should ask out guys more often. It would make it less stressful and exasperating for us. Not to mention less humiliating when, after struggling to get the guts for months, you finally do it and they turn you down.






Or that could just be me.;)

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If he isn't interested in your interesting qualities, then maybe (if you have the balls), ask why he accepted your invitation to lunch.

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If she has the balls then nitsuJ's point is invalid.

Anyway, I'd say not to ask him out as some have said since he may not like that. But setting him up for it as other's have said is a good idea.

And yes, since my post really added very little to the conversation the second paragraph was just to validate my first comment as a viable post.

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Originally Posted by drewmandan

Just don't act clingy or over-excited. Guys don't like that.

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I agree with the clingy...but I like it when girls are really excited! makes things more fun and light.

it seems like he already likes you if he keeps staring, smiling, and hugs you. Just try to create an opportunity for him to get to know you more, preferably in isolation. One way to do this is to motivate him to leave his group for a while so you can both talk or whatever.

you might say something like (in a heated moment) "I wanna kiss you but there's all these people around" you don't have to use "kiss" specifically but you get the idea.