Thread: Tell me about Relationships

To spare the juicy details on how it all started (unless people want them ) and keep things short... ish.

To start things off, I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 weeks now, and I've found that the universe has a funny way of balancing things out. I've always been extremely picky, not just when it comes to these kinds of relationships, but friendships as well. There are very few people I would consider friends, and potential partners was just something that was unheard of. For the most part, I hated the idea though there had been exceptions. So me and relationships came to an agreement. They can do whatever the fuck they want to other people and ruin their lives, sos long as they stay the hell away from me.

Well relationships broke the peace treaty and now we're at war. Now war is difficult when you've never fought before. (I'll quite with the metaphors now). The thing is, I really care for this girl. After I started to develop a little more than a crush on her, and found out that she felt the same, we got together. This took me by complete surprise, not just because of the obvious in that I met someone who I could actually care about, but because I'm now in a world unfamiliar to me.

Thats where the universe's balance comes in. I'm finally with someone I care about, but I have no experience whatsoever, and therefore more potential to not just screw up, but leave things uninteresting by constantly being much too cautious, which puts pressure on me because Caution is also rather unfamiliar to me (See burn marks on arm from Homemade Tazer).

Aside from all that, one main issue I'm having is really talking to her. Right now shes on vacation in Florida, so I'm not too worried about the communication thing over the next week. But social interactions is something I have a problem with. Not because I'm not interesting, but I'm just not too much of a talker. Unless I rant, but then I'm the only one talking, which is another extreme which is only good in moderation.

It bothers me more in that I feel its not just that I don't converse much, but not even with my girlfriend. The few (two to be exact) people I truly consider friends are the only ones I'm actually able to hold a real conversation with or really talk with. The reason for that is how much I respect them, something I don't have for many other people and so its usually not worth talking with them.

This bad habit, I'm finding has made its way somewhere where it doesn't belong. I really do care for and respect her, and so this habit is something I need to break.

Anything on not just socializing, but relationships in general would be a huge help for someone whos very new to this

Fuck me that was longer than I thought.

Awww!! HOW CUTE!!

Okay with my first ever relationship, I just felt kinda thrown into it and didn't know what the heck I was supposed to do. I bet it's like having your first kid or something. No instruction manuals available!

Anyway, the best advice I can give you is to just go with the flow. You'll be able to open up to her in no time. Don't expect it to happen overnight, but I'm sure it will happen on its own in no time at all.

BE HONEST. Always. Don't even think about being dishonest about anything. Dishonesty is one of the best ways to ruin it all.

Lastly, have fun!

Okay with my first ever relationship, I just felt kinda thrown into it and didn't know what the heck I was supposed to do. I bet it's like having your first kid or something. No instruction manuals available!

Yeah, I know what you mean!

Thanks Mes!

Damn, was hoping this would get more of a response!

OK OK, I'll let a few secrets slip across the border >_>...


First thing I would say is now that you have her, you should just completely relax and destress about your relationship. Any worries of that kind right now are completely unfounded, in fact, you're more likely to screw things up if you keep trying not to screw things up. So don't worry, and don't worry about worrying either (I sound like Chrétien, don't I ?). Just enjoy having a wonderful girl that likes you unconditionally.

Secondly, about the talking and conversations... I assume you haven't known this girl for too long, at least not too close? It's hard to go from complete stranger to intimate friend in just a month, especially for a reserved person. If you like her that much, you'll open up on your own in time. And don't worry if you find she doesn't have that problem and is doing the bulk of the talking at the moment, she's a girl... girls talk a lot... Talk about each other, learn about each other slowly, getting to know a person is very fun. Don't completely reveal yourself in one go though, always hold back a little bit of information, so when she thinks she knows you, you'll always have something new to impress her.

Now this is your first relationship, so you're probably in uncharted territory here. Explore the different facets of a relationship, see what you like, what you don't like, you don't have any serious responsabilities right now, so you're free to experiment (no, I don't mean anal sex). Lastly, let her know you like her. A few random spontaneous gestures here and there, what seems stupid and mushy is going to pass off as charming and sweet to her. If you encounter any problems, discuss them together before they become an issue. Like Mes said, have fun!