Tell me why you don't get along with your parents..

[Clairity]

As a parent, I find it sad that there are so many postings saying "I hate my parents". I can sorta understand the emotion as I'm not exactly close to my parents (I mean we were never "friends") but it's still sad to hear (and I work really hard to ensure that my relationship with my son is a good one). Out of curiousity I thought I'd take a survey on what the main issue is that you have with your parents. If you wish to add a comment, please do so.. if not, please feel free to simply vote. .

[ExoByte]

An "Other" option and, I'm not sure if the current coding allows it yet, the ability to select more than one option would be helpful. I personally a few reasons. The options listed however, don't really cut it. As they can all be "explained." Unaccepting of beliefs? Hypocritical? Suspicious of whatever you do? Lack of space? Unable to allow you to grow on your own at all? Forcing their lives on you? That last one doesn't apply to me, the others do for the most part. But just a good many examples.

[Half/Dreaming]

Parents live out their own pain through their children. According to her 8 brothers and sisters, my mom (2nd born) was bossy and stuck-up. She lived that out through my sister and I. She 'always knew the answer to everything', and to this day still sticks her nose where she has no business. With me as a child, she had a "phobia" of not being involved. God, I fought that woman tooth and nail.

[Clairity]

An "Other" option and, I'm not sure if the current coding allows it yet, the ability to select more than one option would be helpful. I personally a few reasons. The options listed however, don't really cut it. As they can all be "explained." Unaccepting of beliefs? Hypocritical? Suspicious of whatever you do? Lack of space? Unable to allow you to grow on your own at all? Forcing their lives on you? That last one doesn't apply to me, the others do for the most part. But just a good many examples. Wow, Exo.. that's quite a listing. I guess some of those could be under "don't respect my privacy" or "refuse to let you make your own decisions". Well I really wanted the "main" reason but, after I finished the poll, I thought it would be good to have the option to select more than one and also an "other" choice but for some reason you can't edit a poll.. I'll send a note to a mod and ask them to update the poll for me. .

[Man of Steel]

I am happy and it would appear, quite fortunate, to say that I get along great with my parents. I think I get along as well as any eighteen year old guy can with his parents, at least. Sure, there are moments when I wish they would better respect my privacy, and sure, there are moments when they are hypocritical, but c'mon, what parents aren't like that every now and then? It's not only their right, but their responsibility to invade your privacy now and then. Hypocrisy? Who's not hypocritical on occasion? I'm going to take the poll, and make some points, if you don't mind, Clairity. And seeing as you are a parent yourself, I can't see as you would. Keep in mind that I'm not trying to 'debunk' the thread, or argue or anything, just my point of view here. They're too strict. -- What the heck are parents for, but to raise children up in the way that they should go? "Too strict" is nothing but an opinion; a perspective. From the kid's point of view, nearly all parents are too strict. This is why kids aren't in charge. They need rules. The human race is a structured one; we need rules, guidelines, boundaries. They don't respect my privacy. -- Like I mentioned above, this is pretty much a responsibility on the part of the parent. As long as you live under their roof, they have the right to come into your room whenever they deem appropriate, whether you like it or not. This is a good thing, to my mind; what with the ever-rising popularity of recreational drugs and such in the (underaged) teen population. They don't understand what it's like to be my age. -- Again, it's all about point of view/perspective here. Of course they understand what's it's like, as much as is possible with the changing of generations. They were, after all, your age at one time. You simply have to take to mind that that was in another generation, and as such certain things change. But the fundamentals nevertheless remain the same. They think they know the answer to everything. -- Point of view again, but regardless; they know more than you do, certainly. In this case, it is almost always the kid that thinks they know the answer to everything; it's usually the opposite of what the parent thinks. They favor my brother/sister over me. -- Subjective, that's the word I was looking for earlier. Here it is again. Very few parents actually favor one child over another, but one child may have special needs, for instance. This is very subjective, though. They refuse to let me make my own decisions. -- Sorry, Charlie, but you don't have the RIGHT to make your own decision until you're 18, or whatever the legal age is where you live. Unless you're emancipated, which would kinda null and void the issue. Until you are of age, you are your parents' responsibility. Thus they make the decisions. If you are mature for your age, you might be lucky enough to have parents nice enough to let you make the majority of your own decisions, with appropriate guidance of course. I have had this good fortune. They don't spend time with me. -- This is actually a viable issue; probably the first on this list. (not to criticize you there, Clairity; all of these are complaints voiced all too often by kids) Too many parents today work long hours, or are just too busy with other things, and neglect to take the NECESSARY time out to spend with their loved ones, which can lead to the kids feeling unloved. This is a real problem in today's society. They are abusive (physically or verbally) -- I don't think I really need to address this, as it is obviously a very serious problem; though, yes, it is still subjective as viewed by the child. It may be just spanking, blown out of proportion by today's notions of political correctness. If not, of course, appropriate actions should be taken. They have a substance abuse problem (drugs or alcohol) -- Again, a real issue. Again, not meaning to start anything here, just wanted to voice my stance on some things. This actually is a good topic, Clairity, and I'm in a way glad you made it. It's just that modern notions of parenting tend to make me somewhat nauseous. I know some horrible parents, and I know very few good ones. I have a pretty unusual stance on parenting for my age, I think. I was raised a bit old-fashionedly, and it shows, I guess. Sorry for the semi-rant-like nature of this post.

[ExoByte]

Thats exactly what I was talking about MoS. All of those can be "explained" deeming them null, when in fact they may sometimes be truth. Unfortunately, due to the ever rising population of whiny, bitchy and rebellious teens, those issues are heard all too much from the stereotype teens who really don't know what they are talking about. Because of that, the ones who actually do have parents that really fit the 'explained' issues are ignored and cast into the group with everyone else with "the same issues," while in reality that person actually does have a real problem with the parents. There is such a thing as too strict. Whether your 6, 16, or 60, your a human being. Being restrained, isolated is not something good for anyone. We all need our freedom, and we all need to have our space. We don't need someone to dictate our lives. Yeah, there are rules. Yeah there are things we need to follow. But if all we're taught is how to follow the rules, who the hell is going to make them when all is said and done? Privacy, EVERYONE needs it. Even if your living under the same roof. Again, we're all only human. Having someone peer over your shoulder at your every move gets not only frustrating, but unnerving. It also ties into the suspicion factor. Kids are taught to respect other's privacy. What kind of message does it send when, interpreted by the kids, they see their parents breaking this 'rule?' Some parents really don't understand. A lot do yeah, because yes of course they were our age. Times are changing though. Its the parents who try to understand this new world that can relate with their kids. On the other hand, most parents are stuck living in the past, passing down knowledge of the past, and past teachings rather than trying to understand how things are changing and how things work are changing. Thinking they know everything, well, again. We're all people. Teens are often ragged on for "You'll think you'll know everything." On the other hand, its really not so much the teens in my opinion. Its everyone, as a whole. PEOPLE think they know everything. A young child thinks they know everything, A teenager thinks they know everything, an adult thinks they know everything. Age is irrelevant. Kid, Teen, Adult, everyone acts the same. Just each age group blames it on another. Adults "coming to a greater understanding." "Im an adult, that means I know more than you" is often the vibe given. The teen stereotype, that all teens will act like they know everything, are always right in what they say is so far spread, its like a weapon. Actually, more accurately, a shield. That falls on teenagers, so when they say the same thing to parents, they're only saying it because they think they're right. Right? Its hardly fair, because its not just teens. Its people as a whole. And no, I entirely disagree that they 'defiantly know more.' They may have been around longer, but there are some pretty stupid parents out there. Not to mention that there are cases where the child is much more cultured than the parents. Especially those who take the initiative to learn things for themselves. Favoring one child, unfortunately it, again, happens. I won't go into too much detail on this one though, as that could start a whole new argument on its own. Age is not a factor in making decisions. Its a legal factor, yeah. But we're all people on the same planet, and its our right to be able to use our Free Will. We all have the ability to make choices. Most importantly, people need freedom. Living isolated is not healthy. Living a life where others live it for you is not healthy. Where are we going to get people to lead in this world if everyone is taught to follow? Freedom is necessary. Especially in the teen years, the path to adulthood. We need to be allowed to make our own choices, if not just for our wanted natural desire of freedom, but for the idea of success. If we live not being able to make our own choices, how are we going to survive in the 'real world' when it comes our way? That said, EVERYTHING is subjective, in a way that some people may be exaggerating because they do indeed fit the stereotypical teen who will go completely mental on their rights and freedoms because their mom or dad wont let them get a tattoo or piercing, while on the other hand there are those who can go on the same rant for real reasons. This is the biggest problem. Teens are generalized in that everyone is the same, every issue is the same and that it will always be the same. Oh wouldn't the world be peaceful and perfect if it were that easy. Well its not, and its infact getting harder and harder, because of these stupid generalizations by the idiot parents who do go on thinking they are right in everything they do and say, and by thinking they are right in this generalization. This spreads like a plague and makes it impossible for the teens with real issues to be ignored, which causes rage and frustration which ultimately leads to not only things like drug abuse, but the ever so infamous climb in teen suicides.

[pj]

Though this poll probably isn't targeted at me, it hits home. I picked "other". My folks are in their late 80's. I've written about them elsewhere here. The very sad fact is that my dad is one of the precious few people in this world who remains able to bring me to a state of anger and even rage in very short time. My sisters like to tell me, "Of course he can still push your buttons. He installed them." I love him more than I can say, and know that he loves me too. There's just a life-long weird frustrating disconnect somewhere. I've settled on visiting him every couple of weeks and staying until I can feel my blood pressure rising... then it's time to go. For all the help I've given others and all the analytical tools at my disposal, the only conclusion I am able to come to after all these years is that it really IS him. He comes from a very different time and a very different world. For a guy who seems to get along with everybody, he carries the prejudices and racism of his generation with him - which is ironic, because children of Italian (Sicilian) immigrants in 1920's Detroit were considered the scum of the earth. There are other things, of course - almost all of them involving the way he perceives and interprets his world. I do find ways to enjoy his company though. When we work on projects together, we get along. I try to keep a project or two going over there so we always have something to focus on besides each other.

[Adrenaline Junkie]

I'm going to start this by saying that my mum is okay but she can get on my nerves alot of the time, my dad is the one i truly hate though. Okay, lets just say that when i was young my Dad was not really there at all, he didn't look after me or see me much and when he did he would be mostly having a go at me if i knocked something over by accident or what not. Since my bro and sis are older than me they could get away with things alot easier because they were smarter and that left the blame on me quite often and i'd get a shouting off my dad. Its asthough the only reason he is in my life is to have a go at me and tell me that i'm a useless piece of shit. But over the past year its all changed, ever since my exams started he's been acting like a caring father and the thing is that he would treat me like i'm a 8 year old, he would joke and be overly nice and when i rejected that creepy version of him (because i knew he was only putting it on) he became mean and nasty when it got into my main exam period, he would be really mean to me about my exams and kept me in to do overly amounts of revision that was really unecessary because i could revise for long periods of times. This lead to me not being able to go out and see my mates because he kept me in and this nearly lost me some good friends so i got more angry at him and then my exams were over, now he's been a grumpy man with me, i think its because he's got it in his mind that i'm going to fail my exams, he always expects the worse in me and when i know what he thinks i usually prove him right, its off-putting but i think that this time i may have actually got the grades i need, i may be wrong but results day is in a few weeks. Another thing with my dad is that he never listens to me, i will tell him that i'm going out with my mates for the night and i'll be back late and then when i get back he will have a go at me asking where i have been and what the hell i was doing out that late, then i said "i told you i would be out late before i left" and he went ballistic saying that i was trying to get out of it and he also calls me a lier alot of the time also. Oh, and they never respect my privacy at all, if i don't want them to see what i am doing they assume i am doing something bad like drugs or something, they always get suspicious with me and say that i shouldn't be hiding anything, they say they have a right to know what i am doing whilst i live in their house. How fair is that? One more thing that my dad also does is that if i'm talking and he doesn't want me to talk he will tell me to stop moaning and thinks he assumes some sort of power over me. My dad is the main problem in my life, as well as him worrying loads, i am 16 and i came back late one night, about 12:30 and he went psycho because of it, my bro stayed out all night at my age and all my dad cares about is whether it makes him worried or not, if it makes him worry it apparantly gives him the right to have a go at me. The funny thing i find is that when i was at my sisters graduation recently i was talking about my results and my dad said these following lines "i'll be happy with whatever you get" and i think that that is the biggest pile of shit i have ever heard him say, if i don't get what i need for this college he will go into a massive stress at me and go psycho because i didn't meet his expectations, its aload of rubbish, i put in what i thought was the right effort for me and if he goes sick at me for trying my best i will punch him, i've had enough of his crap to be honest. I can't wait to leave this madhouse!

[Clairity]

Man of Steel, as a parent, I actually appreciate your input and I totally agree with your response. pj and Exo, I appreciate your insights as well. I wrote this post based on the continuous "I hate my parents" postings that keep popping up and the "options/reasons" I used were based on what various members gave for why they feel this way (whether they are viable/valid only they can know). The truth is, being a teenager is hard and being a parent of a teenager is hard (which most of you will one day find out). I feel most parents are doing the best job that they know how considering that there is no formal "training" involved. Perhaps they didn't have a good relationship with their parents and simply don't know how to have one with you. Sadly, there are some people who just shouldn't be parents but unfortunately there are no restrictions on who can reproduce. The bottom line is that you have life because of them.. what you make of your life can be because of them.. or in spite of them. Please remember that your time spent in their house is but a brief glimpse of your life. .

[Gwendolyn]

As a young teen I didn't get along with my parents so much. Now, though, they've let go a lot, and really have been more open minded about my life and who I am. Also, it's been the same with my brothers and sisters, but the reins have been loosened some, and now it is great. I used to be very secretive with my parents, but now, I feel that I could tell them most things, because now, they are very accepting of who I am, and they do try to be as nonjudgmental as possible. This is a fairly new change, and it is a welcome one...It wasn't always like that, but my relationship with my parents have really blossomed, and I appreciate them a lot more for who they are, once they started doing the same for me. And, my stays at home from college are a lot more fun....I look forward to my family time, now.

[CoLd BlooDed]

I used to not get along so great with my mom, but now that she's got a boyfriend she's a lot happier and not so pissed off all the time. So we get along fine... I tend to avoid conversation when she is PMSing though.

[Amethyst Star]

I count myself so, so fortunate to have the loving parents that I have. When I went to college, I didn't realize just how many people come from divorced or dysfunctional families. Sure, there have been plenty of times I was mad at my parents, but I've always felt loved and know that I can count on them for just about anything... Heck, I live with 'em. The only thing I don't like about my dad is when he gets into "lecture mode" and keeps pressuring me to look into jobs in the government. I know he wants me to have a good future, but I want to look at all the options and see what I will enjoy. I don't want to be like him and have to wait until I'm 50 to find a job that I am truly satisfied working at... like right now. I love my job making coffee. Sure, it doesn't pay much, but I love coffee and I love the people working with. ...and I regress. Oh, and I wish that he told me that he loves me more often. I almost always have to say it first. I don't feel unloved, but it's nice to hear it. And I love my mom. She's amazing. I'm truly blessed.

[FreeOne]

for my mom i put "wont let me make my own desisions" because thats just it. She wont let me do anything the way i want, and when i ask for an explination all i get is "dont question me" or somthing like that. But i love her she has been through to much for me to not. Its my dad i dont like. I would have chose the abusive option. he emotionaly hurt everyone i love. Everyone who doesnt know him thinks he so honest and nice, but everyone who trys to get close to him Ends up in hell. Then i find out that he isnt my real father so :p to him we dont need losers like that.

[Adam]

All your answers are 'They...' I didn't get along with my parents because I was the one with the problem! nothing wrong with anything they did. They loved me and cared for me like any doting parent would. They divorced when I was about 10 though, but I had serious issues growing up, and got into a lot of trouble and things, through no fault of my parents. But I didn't go to them for help when I needed it and it made the whole time worse. I wish now my parents were more approachable at the time, because I could have gone to them to sort myself out. Now I have the best relationship ever with them I would just make it clear that, no matter what the problem is, your children always feel they can go to you for help and advise

[The Question]

An "Other" option and, I'm not sure if the current coding allows it yet, the ability to select more than one option would be helpful. I personally a few reasons. The options listed however, don't really cut it. As they can all be "explained." Unaccepting of beliefs? Hypocritical? Suspicious of whatever you do? Lack of space? Unable to allow you to grow on your own at all? Forcing their lives on you? That last one doesn't apply to me, the others do for the most part. But just a good many examples. This is almost exactly and i mean exactly the reason for my..its not hate, more desire not to see often or connect with? If that makes sense. For me its the beliefs, not letting me be me...they say i can be me...but for them its there version of me. Well i dont really want to rant but exo man well said!

[Michael]

I love my parent and get along with them great. They have never been to strict (maybe under strict the way I will be too), they always understood me, they respect my decisions, help me get through problems, all of that stuff. We have no family stress and we are hardly ever serious, always laughs. Maybe it's so perfect cuz we all smoke weed together and do other psychedelic stuff. The only thing different is I am atheist and they are christians, but they are fine with that and so am I.

[Original Poster]

I'm on better terms now that I'm fucking out of there but living with my mom for the last week has reminded me of every reason I can't stand her. She's judgmental and narrow-minded and operates on a completely different wavelength than I do. We have absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about. I feel like I spend time with her out of charity. All she cares about is money and herself. I'm very fortunate that she wasn't clingy, though, and for the most part respects my independence though not my privacy.

[BeerJunkie]

I think the worst thing is that I have been doing taxidermy for quit some time and my mother has NEVER accepted that. She somehow thinks its sick to taxidermy an animal. Its not like I taxidermy people and I mentioned that even humans are embalmed for funerals. I think she loves her pets more than me anyhow. I'll never tell her but I hate that damned bitchon fluff ball of hers.

[NeAvO]

I like my mum, she's cool. My dad takes his anger out on me because I'm the middle child, and the other too are either too young or too old. Plus my dad is always up my mum's ass so if he hears he raise her voice he will come straight to me and do his godfather act "If you upset mum, you upset me".

[CymekSniper]

My father is an alcoholic. I fear for my life and his sometimes when he wants to go driving and sometimes when he does drive. He ended up in jail for a month a couple of years ago and hasn't had any run-ins with the cops since but I just don't see him retaining his freedom or his life in the far future. He lied to me once, when he was drunk, that he had colon cancer. I went through hell last year waiting to get the call that would inevitably say that his end was near. The call never came and my dad never mentioned his cancer. No matter how many times he gets caught by the law, no matter how many times my step mom yells at him, he always takes another drink. I've pondered certain...things before but that course is dark and I am of the light. I only see him during Christmas and during the summer due to the divorce but I just don't know how long I can go on like this.

[Michael]

My father is an alcoholic. I fear for my life and his sometimes when he wants to go driving and sometimes when he does drive. He ended up in jail for a month a couple of years ago and hasn't had any run-ins with the cops since but I just don't see him retaining his freedom or his life in the far future. He lied to me once, when he was drunk, that he had colon cancer. I went through hell last year waiting to get the call that would inevitably say that his end was near. The call never came and my dad never mentioned his cancer. No matter how many times he gets caught by the law, no matter how many times my step mom yells at him, he always takes another drink. I've pondered certain...things before but that course is dark and I am of the light. I only see him during Christmas and during the summer due to the divorce but I just don't know how long I can go on like this. This is terrible and I can relate man. My mom was an alcoholic for my first 17 years. She was very very bad. The last 5 years of her drinking, she would drink 2 5ths of vodka, or more each day. She has now been sober from alcohol for 6 months and she is great to be around for once in my life. All I can say is never give up hope man, and do everything possible to help him. When we thought my mom was finally gonna die from drinking, she stayed in bed for 2 weeks straight, just drinking. We got a court order to have cops come and take her to detox. She hated us for a couple weeks, then she actually wanted to go to rehab for another 60 days. Also, she was on life support for 3 days during detox. Thats how bad alcohol addiction is. It's the only drug besides heroin that can kill you when you quit. Good luck man. It's not your dad's fault, he has a "disease"

[orange_entity]

My mom smoked two packs of day all of my life (and the time she was pregnant, and yes I was premature), dad is the typical 'don't care' dad. My childhood was really rough since dad was always at work and mom was always stressing over my sister or yelling at me when she ran out of cigs. She hit me for everything and always knew what was going on. She does show a lot of care it's just the way she acts. Now that I'm older mom now yells at me or tries to make me go on a guilt trip for something, especially when she's out of her cigs. Dad still doesn't care but agrees with mom on issues regarding my privacy and beliefs. If I confronted my mom and told her I was an atheist I'd be disowned and thrown out of the house... To prevent conflicts I've learned to speak as little as possible. I'm just on my second semester of college with a full course load, so I don't want to anger my mom and end up on the street. I just go along with what they say. Can't complain since I have almost free board, transportation, and food.

[Mes Tarrant]

I have relatively great relationships with my parents. However... My dad: There is a specific reason for this but.. he always wanted a boy, and this is no secret. (I am an only child btw.) So he didn't pay too much attention to me while I was growing up. Once I began the process of maturing into a woman though, he suddenly became very proud to be my dad. At this point in my life he practically worships the ground I walk on, which all dads should, but that hasn't erased the way he acted (or DIDN'T act) while I was growing up. So we aren't as close as we could be. My mom: She drinks. A lot. And it doesn't matter how old your kid is. It doesn't matter if your kid is a toddler or a 40 year old with his/her own family, but a parent should never, ever let their child see them tipsy/drunk. This frustrated me to no end.. whenever I saw her in this state, I would feel lost and uncared for, etc etc. Now that I'm older though, I can see the reasons for why she does this and I feel very sad and helpless. In general though, I think it is mainly two reasons: 1. Parents' views are way different from kids' views, and both parties think that they are right. A great example is racism. 2. Parents are not perfect people. They are just average folks who are quite flawed, and children can see these flaws very clearly. However, when these flaws are pointed out, parents get ridiculously defensive and do not wish to listen to reason. I can see this from the parents' perspective as well though.. there are numerous things about life that parents know but their children do not. So yeah. Okay, I think my two reasons could actually be molded into one. Edit: Oooh, this is a big one for me that I just thought of: my parents never appreciated the fact that I was a good kid.. never did drugs or drank or smoked or anything.. did well in my classes.. hung out with a good crowd.. My parents mostly picked on the negative. They took my goodness for granted.

[Idec Sdawkminn]

I have a fine relationship with my parents. I don't live with them, but I am welcome over there anytime I want and they often want me over there more than I want to be...just because I'm a hermit. My dad is pretty pushy when it comes to job-related stuff, though, and is always giving me his world experience advice about it. He's always been like that I know that he just wants what is best for me. I still kiss and hug my mom and dad when I see them. They always initiate it. They always tell me they love me on the phone. When they haven't heard from me for more than a week, they'll call just to see how things are. I had some minor issues with them when I lived there, but it was my issues with them. They were fine. I was the weird one. When I'd be out later than I said I would be, they would worry, of course. That's a good thing. I didn't have a cell phone. They couldn't get ahold of me. There would be several times I would come home at midnight and my mom would be slightly upset and said that they were really worried and wondered if my car broke down or something and that my dad was out driving to see if I was stranded on the side of the road. He would come home and they would sternly tell me to call them if I would be getting home late. I know it is just because they love me, but I've always been the type to hate people worrying about me. They even bought me a cell phone so this wouldn't happen anymore. They were never unreasonable to me. Anything I had a problem with them, I always knew that they were doing what they should, it was just me who had the problem with the rules. I'd feel like I wanted more privacy. It wasn't really my parents who restricted it. I'm the oldest of 6 kids. I'd want more privacy on the computer, but it was the family computer and my parents are very religious and require a spiritual home. I don't believe I've ever heard one bad word in their house aside from in a movie. They never drink. I've never heard them yell at eachother. We were always scolded for yelling, even if it was just because someone was in another room. We were always taught to wait before talking when entering a room because there might be a conversation going on. Interrupting was never tolerated. Growing up, we were kinda babied. My mom would try to do all the housework by herself and she feared making us do things we didn't want to. She worried about us and never wanted us out of her sight. My dad would be the one to make us help out and wouldn't hear any of our nonsense excuses, but he always let us do more things that my mom might worry about us getting hurt, because he was very restricted as a child and he didn't want to do the same to us. I was asked to move out because I would often get in stupid arguments with my mom over technical things. Usually it was because I didn't want to help out around the house. There was always a gap between my parents and I. There were certain things I couldn't say to them because they were my parents. Certain tones of voice I couldn't use because it was disrespectful. I hated that gap and would try to cross it anytime I could. My logic was always, "If they do it to me, I'll do it to them." I was always trying to insist that the computer was my personal space. The house belonged to them, the only time I ever spent in my room was to sleep, so in exchange, I claimed the computer as my "room". Being the most knowledgeable one by far about the computer, I felt justified by this claim and would rebel against any disagreement. When I'd be in trouble for something and not allowed to go on the computer for a few days, I'd do something on there just before getting off that would cause problems for anyone else using it. I was good at making it look like it was caused on its own. Since I'm not very outspoken and would rarely directly rebel against anything, I was often viewed as an honest person. I knew that and took advantage of it. Being the only one able to fix it, they would always need me to get on to fix it and I would usually be hesitant to at first because I was in a "oh, so I can get on when it suits you" mood. I'd finally get on and fix it and at the same time would do the other stuff that I would normally do if I had been allowed on it. They usually would forget that I wasn't allowed on after half a day or so anyway. I often took advantage of my parents' forgetfulness due to having 6 kids and always having many things going on at once. If my parents were ever to find my pornographic stuff on the computer and, as a punishment, delete that and more of the stuff I had on there, I would hide all my dad's business-related stuff on there and make them think I had deleted it, just to scare them a little. It would have been just a little sign of my dominance on the computer. Kinda like, "You may be the parents, but when you try to govern the computer, you are getting into my territory." That never happened, thank goodness. I was raised a Christian, though after I got to a certain age, I just stopped going with them to church. I never went to visit the other church members' houses with them. I always just wanted to stay home. The church members are very close and no one really has many friends outside the church. God and the church comes first before family outside of the church. My dad knows that God is first and he is second to my mom, and my mom knows the same about my dad. Since I was showing more and more my desire to go a different path, plus my disrespect for their authority and for them having to fight me tooth and nail almost anytime they tried to get me to help out around the house, my dad finally asked me to leave. He said that they require a religious home and it is clear I don't want much to do with that. He said I was having a bad influence on my siblings and they would always ask why I didn't have to go to church but they did. Plus he said that my being there was hindering me from going my own path.

[BiVixen]

The poll only let's us choose one choice though I have more than one reason. abuse(both physical and mental)-came from my mum and happened while I was in her care from others. Substance abuse- my mum did drugs, drank, and smoked nearly all the time while pregnant with me. After I was born she continued all addictions. Now she drinks every now and then and smokes fairly often but has stopped drug use. Don't spend time with me- Not in a "blah blah they are never home blah blah" sense, but in the way that they never did/do notice anything about my life. They don't seem to pay any mind to anything about me and don't ever want to be arouned me really. Then just bits and pieces of how they have acted/do act to me in a general sense.