If you guys could read what I’ve written and comment upon it I would greatly appreciate it

PUZZLE OF A CLOUDED FACE

When war is all I see and all I seek is peace,
Mist swathes my spirit with query.
While internal war is all I see and all I seek is internal peace,
Mist covers my soul with disguise.

My hand becomes clouded by a fountain of fear,
as the stream slowly fills my fingers with hate.

My fingers becomes clouded by a splash of anger,
as the rain gradually fills my fist with suffering.

My fist becomes clouded by a river of rage,
as the sea progressively fills my body with pain.

My body becomes clouded by a drizzle of hurt,
as the ocean quickly fills my head with fear.

Since I see inside my eyes the internal war,
peace is all I desire.

When dreaming of harmony is all I do,
does that mean anything or nothing to you?

When peace is all I see and peace is all I seek,
light will sheathe my spirit in wonder.