Thread: Writings

I am a, maybe what you could call a developing writer and I would love it if some of you could critique and edit some of my work. Now don't be too harsh please, keep in mind these are only rough drafts. Thank you and I really hope you like it or at least aren't too annoyed with it.

I have never been in love.
I have never had to expierence giving someone your everything, and putting your heart and whole in thier hands then having it taken away as if it never existed. I have never felt so strongly for a person that I would give up my life and my world just to never see them cry. I have never put my dreams into one future with one person and made everything I did a plea to make that future better then have to find out that the one that had my heart in the palm of his hands decided to burn it all down to the ground and drown the future we had. I have never had to wonder what it would have been like if he wouldn't have let go of all that we had and worked for, leaving me with burning wet cheeks and a hole in my chest where my heart dropped to the bottom. I have never had to work everyday to bring my heart back up to where it belongs knowing that it won't ever come all the way back up because it is blocked by an agonizing wall that won't let go, that throws images into mind everynight and day of the memories, only reminding me of what I can't have, torturing me with nightmares that not even the most wicked of monsters could top. I have never had to wake up crying because I saw your face in my once pleasureous dreams that have know become sorce of my neverending pain. I have never had to live with this kind of hurt everyday ... because I have never been in love.

Insanity
An insane man can write things of no meaning,
yet still be an inspiration.
I think...
think that the world has no true meaning,
so with his meaningless words,
that insane man was holding the world in the palm of his hand.
I must admire his senseless beauty.
In truth he is more sane than any of us.
We are just repeatative,
only become what society needs us to be.
What a brave fool,
insanity is.

Glass
The cold statue like object thats left in my chest,
is pure glass,
and when you came from the pits of hell itself,
to make my life a miserable mess,
I questioned my sanity,
because at every moment you weren't by my side,
I heard the piercing screech of cracking glass,
fill my body,
and tear me limb from limb,
but when you spoke your last goodbye,
and I knew it was time to let go,
that inanimant glass thing that was already still inside my lifeless chest,
shattered into a million pieces.

Fake Trust
You lied when you said you trusted me?
Thats why we ended up in this unforgivable position?
Doesnt that defeat the purpose ... lieing about trust?
You think your words have no effect on me
but your wrong
You think I was the one who was hiding things
but your wrong
you said that I could just move on
but your oh so wrong.
I have given up on life itself
because you broke me to the point of shattering.
Now Im the one who got the short straw
because while your off with her
I'm here ... neverending waiting for that message thats never going to come.
Hope is what kills me every second
hope that you might regret leaving what we had
and as much as I try to destroy that innocent hope...
it comes within my dreams...
it tears at me with every closed eye.
Thats why I spent so many sleepless nights
cursing you and the gods above because I knew ...
if I slept... my once pleasent dreams of you would become nightmares.
Now I have come to understand that these dreams,hopes,and flash backs
are all I have left of you so Ihave learned to love this bitter sweetness.
I have forgiven you for taking my trust and throwing it back at me
and realized that what we had wasen't fake ... what you had for me was.

god?
Innocent children die in the arms of thier mothers,
Men cry out for what they cant provide,
Young boys are taught to kill,
Girls scream for the many loves they've lost,
Hopes are killed dispite the reluctance,
so where is your god now?

Wow, its been awhile since I have posted anything here. Might as well add some of the recent. Warning: It seems I have digressed a tad.

Clouds

Dissipating,
when needed the most.
Reengaging across a sky,
letting the brightest darkness fall.
An intangible haze,
filling a beyond vast volume.
Covering creatures,
creeping continuously,
conspiring below beings.
Rolling,
far past anyone’s expectations.
Gone with the wind,
nowhere to be found.
Beautiful yet dangerous
as the fog sets in.
An irrevocable cycle,
necessary for survival.
Clouds...
Like love in so many ways,
reminds me of us.

Beat

Within I beat to a beat unlike any other,
I pound like death,
knocking on your door.
I sing like sin,
slithering silently through.
I can't help but to vibrate,
from pulsations of pure panic.
I whisper like souls kept still for centuries.
I hum like heavens,
hovering above harmonious hell.
I breath nothing but beauty into bustling boulevards,
but it gets me nowhere
because I dream like demons within
and end up beating to a beat unlike any other.

Blessed Burden

Daunting prematurity,
taunted with giddy confusion.
Begging god to contravene,
relieve me of my burden,
but to isolate me from my minds escape,
from my dreams only diversion,
in the same instance the blessed creation of beautiful aspirations,
would as well eradicate my bitter bliss.
Delayed recognition of true desires,
Too late to go back.
Think always on what can never be.
Try and try again.
Fail.
Wonder which one of us is at fault.
Play a lonely blame game,
with fear at the forefront of faith.
Until life do us part from our minds trepidation.