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    1. 10-11-2007 08:11 PM #1
      EmilySian
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      Poems of mine....

      Well seeing as I like writing poems -only an ameteur-. I thought I would start posting some on here, because this webbie is very addictive, and im on here quite a bit. So this is just a poem I wrote in my English Lit class. My Teacher seemed to like it, so I thought it would be a good first post!
      It was national poetry day, and we had to pick random nouns and verbs out of a hat and make a poem of them! Now usually I hate these sort of things, but I'm actually quite pleased with how it turned out! Oh and I got

      Rubbing Ring -talk about difficult!-

      A rubbing ring
      that's what I am
      small, plain, yet sparkling
      A certain magical quality
      Enticing, drawing you in
      unable to move your eyes
      from my smooth gold skin
      trapping you
      oblivious to your fate
      drawing you in

      I lay resting, dormant
      asleep on the plae delicate finger
      Yet to awaken and fulfill my purpose
      A young woman eyes another man
      flirtaciously bats her eyelids
      I slowly tighten, every second
      drawing a little more life
      from the pale delicate finger
      Ever tightening, ever do slowly

      Seconds, minutes slowly drag by
      A note of surprise flickers across the young womans face
      as she finally feels a slight throbbing
      on her plae delicate finger
      Grasping, pulling
      desperation taking control
      She frantically pulls at me
      I will not budge
      This is my duty
      I will not budge!

      Slowly shrivels
      Black charred flesh
      Like burnt wood
      A remider of me
      The Rubbing Ring
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    2. 10-11-2007 08:40 PM #2
      Super Duck
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      Great! ... Not sure I get it but it had some real nice imagery.
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    3. 10-11-2007 09:02 PM #3
      EmilySian
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      Thx! The basic idea was that it was a wedding ring so that make more sense. lol. . It's brilliant anyway, I just thought I wanted to post something so....
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    4. 10-11-2007 11:45 PM #4
      Xox
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      I really like it!
      It great because as you read you visulaize everything vividly.



      In broken images.
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    5. 10-13-2007 12:00 PM #5
      Super Duck
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      Quote Originally Posted by EmilySian View Post
      Thx! The basic idea was that it was a wedding ring so that make more sense. lol. . It's brilliant anyway, I just thought I wanted to post something so....
      LMAO. Just read it again. Of course it was. I'm a bit retarded, apologies.
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    6. 10-14-2007 11:45 AM #6
      EmilySian
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      btw I didnt mean to write it's brilliant anyway...lol meant to be not tht good! lol
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    7. 10-14-2007 08:12 PM #7
      CoLd BlooDed
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      I really like how the atmosphere of the poem changes. At first, everything is very sultry and slow, and then when it hits that third stanza it just makes everything speed up and finish off with a twist.

      Nice.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.
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    8. 03-09-2008 01:42 PM #8
      DreamVortex
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      Good poem. I liked it a lot.
      Lucid Dreams: 2
      Tasks:
      Morph into an animal [ ]
      Rip a hole in the sky [ ]
      Fly [X]
      Telekinesis [X]
      Meet my Dream Guide [ ]
      The Vortex Of Lucidity (My Dream Journal)
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    9. 03-09-2008 10:54 PM #9
      Barns
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      Thats really nice, I hope we're going to hear more of your poetic exertions.
      <a href=http://imageshack.us target=_blank rel=nofollow><img src=http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/8039/finalfishtl6.png border=0 alt= /></a>Beware of hitchhiking fish
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