Thread: My submission for the short writing contest.

Originally Posted by Man of Steel

Not bad, not bad at all, AspiR! A bit on the short side, but very well written, and the topic is completely open to interpretation, so t'is fine there.

One thing I might mention, though, is that parenthetical narrative towards the end. It doesn't quite seem to jive with the rest of the narrative, if I may be so bold as to say. Perhaps not even use words like 'forward' or 'backward', but just a more relative term. I dunno, something about the parentheses just doesn't fit with the overall feel of the story. Maybe it's just me.

Yeah. When I wrote this it was one of the first time an inspiration absolutely struck me. So it was saying a lot with a few words, basically raw feeling.

I haven't made too many changes since, I sort of kept it in its raw form and that came out. I sort of agree that it stands out.

Thanks for your comments though. And good luck on your submission.

Edit:

I forgot to add the title, "The true fall". Its up there now.