Thread: My submission for the short writing contest.

Not bad, not bad at all, AspiR! A bit on the short side, but very well written, and the topic is completely open to interpretation, so t'is fine there.

One thing I might mention, though, is that parenthetical narrative towards the end. It doesn't quite seem to jive with the rest of the narrative, if I may be so bold as to say. Perhaps not even use words like 'forward' or 'backward', but just a more relative term. I dunno, something about the parentheses just doesn't fit with the overall feel of the story. Maybe it's just me.

Originally Posted by Man of Steel

Not bad, not bad at all, AspiR! A bit on the short side, but very well written, and the topic is completely open to interpretation, so t'is fine there.

One thing I might mention, though, is that parenthetical narrative towards the end. It doesn't quite seem to jive with the rest of the narrative, if I may be so bold as to say. Perhaps not even use words like 'forward' or 'backward', but just a more relative term. I dunno, something about the parentheses just doesn't fit with the overall feel of the story. Maybe it's just me.

Yeah. When I wrote this it was one of the first time an inspiration absolutely struck me. So it was saying a lot with a few words, basically raw feeling.

I haven't made too many changes since, I sort of kept it in its raw form and that came out. I sort of agree that it stands out.

Thanks for your comments though. And good luck on your submission.

Edit:

I forgot to add the title, "The true fall". Its up there now.

It conjures up an image very easily and although short there's some very good snippets in there. So death was his way of escaping his fate?

Originally Posted by Identity X

It conjures up an image very easily and although short there's some very good snippets in there. So death was his way of escaping his fate?

Yes. This little snippet was a piece of a much larger storyline, but that is the basic idea.

Where I used to write/roleplay, this was considered a medium length post. My usual method of writing is much more extensive, but as I said before, this was the product of sudden violent inspiration and I wanted to convey that. Its more... content than fluff, which I often had in my writing before.

Thanks for your comments ^_^

I can't wait to see the rest!



Now to get more than one paragraph finished.

/cracks knuckles.

Originally Posted by Elis D.

I can't wait to see the rest!



Now to get more than one paragraph finished.

/cracks knuckles.

The rest? That was it, buddy.

At least for the contest.

Yes. This little snippet was a piece of a much larger storyline, but that is the basic idea.

That threw me for a loop I guess. Cool, I like this by itself too.