Thread: This Poem I Wrote, Tell Me What You Think :)

I wrote it for an English class, we had to write a sonnet...I was the only one who actually wrote one for class and I gave it to mmy teacher, but he didn't say anything about it...Anyway, tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions Personally, I don't like the last verses... they just don't seem to fit in with the atmosphere of the rest of the poem...


Neverending Story

And yet, another match I dare to light
And in my hand I watch it die.
I throw it away, such a glorious sight,
Mountains of ash facing the sky.

And yet, another wish I dare to make
On a star that only I can see
"Make me good, for goodness' sake!"
And it drowns into the sea.

And yet, I dream when I close my eyes
And sink in his blue poetic stare.
The alarm goes off and it all dies
It's never right, and it's never there.

Dreaming on must be man's true glory,
This hazy, neverending story.

That's pretty good. Most of the time I don't like/understand poetry, but I that one was alright!

I don't have any problem with the last verses either. It seems to work quite well.

Good Stuff! I really like it. Really a great way to put the amazingness of Dreaming into words!

Very good! I feel the second line of third verse does not work, but otherwise a very solid poem!

Thanks! I'll try to write more...although I've sort of lost my "muse" sometime ago . Anyway, I can't be really bad since you liked it, so I'll do my best!

It's very lovely, I like it very much.