Oh man Occipitalred, spellbee2, and sivason, your fanfics gave me a good laugh! Because of that I thought I'd join in on Fundamental Frank's Fantastically Fun Fanfiction Fun Fair.


The Teachings


Jezebel sat at her school desk, it was made out of synthetic dark oak wood, a nice desk. All the other kids around her had the same ornate school desk. The large windows that lined the classroom were currently letting in the gold orange light of late afternoon, bathing the room along with the desks in it. The polished wood reflected the light back, making them almost appear to glow. It was a beautiful scene, and somewhat jarring, Jezebel thought. That such a surreal and pretty scene would be accompanied by a boring science class lecture.

It was currently the daily portion of the class that was devoted to teaching the findings and discoveries of our High Supervisor, Frank DiMeglio. The instructor was going over something about physics in dreams and waking life, which all citizens of the City know to be fundamental and so very important. You know, half gravity, inertia, invisible space, and all that other mumbo jumbo that Jezebel can never seem to understand. "I'm just stupid, I suppose" she decided one day while yet again listening to the repetitions of the High Supervisor's teachings.

But day after day of sitting through another lecture and another and another and another, an endless cycle of what seemed to be incomprehensible nonsense, Jezebel began thinking. The thoughts she was thinking were dangerous ones, so dangerous that she was relived no one could read her mind... but what if they could? She knew they couldn't but the mild case of paranoia she had developed due to the dangerous thoughts told her otherwise. "What if it is all just nonsense?" Jezebel thought, dangerously.

But if it was nonsense, utter nonsense babble, why was it being taught in schools? And praised by all? Surely other citizens must think similarly to her but like her were too afraid to question it, somehow it was just instinct that this wasn't something to question, perhaps not even in one's own head. Jezebel stared out across the sea of students and desks, they all stared ahead blankly while the instructor drew on the chalk board. Each one of them had this dead look in their eyes, even the instructor.

Jezebel tried to think of a reason as to why they are being taught this craziness, that is if it was craziness. One afternoon during lunch break she went with her best friend, Tristan, and some other classmates to the field to have a picnic. When she didn't think anyone else was within earshot she got up the nerve to ask him what he thought about High Supervisor's academic works.

"They're ground breaking, historic, awe inspiring, fundamental, and so very important. High Supervisor Frank DiMeglio and his work deserves all the awards he's been given thus far and more" Tristan replied almost automatically. She decided to clarify, although somewhat wary to after hearing his reply. "No I mean, like, do you understand any of it? Do you think it could actually mean anything or is it just... nonsense, rubbish, gibberish, poppycock?" she tentatively asked. His expression quickly changed from shock to fear to confusion and then finally relief, he explained that he too had thought often about what it could possibly mean, if anything.

They made a game out of trying to figure out the reason to be teaching kids useless, not even understandable, possibly fake science. They came up with many ideas, a filler lecture for the day, a form of hypnotism, nap time inducer, a way to subdue the populace, among others. They, like everyone else, would likely never know the true purpose behind it. It was a mystery for the ages. So the following day Jezebel and Tristan made their way through the school hallways with their fellow classmates, heading towards the science classroom. They sit in their seats, open their text books to the correct location, and await the instructor's arrival.

What else could they do? Neither knew how you would go about bringing up changing the teachings, let alone actually doing it. And they had a feeling if they tried, it would only be changing their fortune into misfortune. Besides, it wasn't hurting anything, at least as far as Jezebel could see. The instructor steps into the classroom, writes a message upon the chalk board, and begins with "Fundamentally proven inertial and gravitational equivalency: Why we necessarily exist in, and have extension of experience in, the middle distance in/of space."

Life continues on, everyday getting a refresher on High Supervisor Frank DiMeglio's teachings, a reliable constant in this often ever changing world. As the sun rises everyday it brings along with it the promise of more teachings, a never ending cycle. Which may be good, because despite the many years she's studied it, Jezebel has yet to understand a word of it.