# Sleep and Dreams > General Dream Discussion >  >  Dreaming as the Opposite Gender

## Calvin

So this is my first post here, and it's a question.  Sorry it doesn't really contribute to the community at all.  

In my dreams I'm often a girl.  I'm a girl in probably 30 - 40% of my dreams.  My question is whether this is unusual or not.  I have a buddy who I regularly discuss dreams with, and when I mentioned to him that I'm often a girl in my dreams he thought that was strange and said he's never had that experience.  I always just figured it was normal, because I've always had dreams where I'm a girl.  I imagine some users here have read many dreams from a variety of different people and will have a pretty good idea of how common this is.

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## LifeStandsStill

I'm not sure how common it is, but it probably is pretty common. I myself have had a dream (Although only one) where I was a guy, and actually a specific person...
I've also had a dream I was a pterodactyl  :smiley:

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## Calvin

That's neat.  I've never been an animal / dinosaur before.  Once I was a chair, but that was drug - induced.  

I've never been a specific (different) person either.  I'm always just me.  But sometimes I'm a female version of me.

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## Arra

I don't think it's strange. When I was younger, a teenager, I would not often associate with either gender in my dreams. I was just an awareness, a person, and didn't think of myself as male nor female. In real life, I never felt like what my impression of what females were 'supposed' to feel like was, and that might have been the cause. (Now I realize that impression was probably bullshit, there is probably no distinct female way of thinking, but when I was younger I for some reason perceieved that other people thought there was.) Sometimes, in my dreams I was specifically female, and sometimes I was specifically male. My personality, background, etc. in real life didn't seem to carry over to my dreams. I don't think it's odd, it's like reading a book. The protagonists of the books I read are usually male, and I have no problem imagining I'm them.

I'm 21 now, and in the last couple years, it seems I've started associating with my gender more in dreams. I'm usually a female in my dreams, and usually am me as I am in real life. I'll rarely be a male now, but still, maybe 20% of the time, am not either gender.

I have a few ideas why the change might have happened to me. One is that I associated negatively with my gender while younger, never felt like a female. Another is that I've gotten older, and have therefore lived for a longer time being treated as a female in real life, and my identity feels more fixed now than it used to, so it's more likely to carry over to my subconscious.

I've also had dreams, though rarely, in which I'm an animal of some kind. Something weird for me is that I'll often have dreams in which my boyfriend is a female. He's the same person and I care for him in the dream the same as in real life, but he's a female version of him. Not too often, but a few times in my life. It's odd because in real life, I can't imagine having the ability to care for a female as I can for a male, and if my boyfriend really turned into a female somehow I would have a huge problem with that.

What do you fear, that you're dreaming that you're a female 30-40% of the time because you subconsciously want to be a female? I doubt it. Maybe your mind associates being female with a certain feeling, and if you listed out all your dreams in which you're female, you might find something in common with them. For example, maybe your dream mind makes you a female in situations where you're more powerless, or more aroused, or are better at socializing, or are feeling vain, whatever your mind tends to associate with females.

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## Calvin

In dreams where I'm female, the setting is always very surreal, peaceful and quiet.  Unless I transform from a male to a female during the dream, the setting is always right before sunrise or right after sunset.  It's usually raining.  I approach things differently than in my other dreams.  For example, in a recent dream I walked up to a terrifying jawless man with no fear, whereas I would have hid otherwise.  After waking up I usually have a warm / peaceful afterglow for a few hours.  

So there are definitely common settings, emotions, recurring themes, etc in the dreams where I'm female.  Same goes for dreams where I'm male.  These similarities haven't changed over the past four years, which is as long as I've kept a dream journal.  

You're probably on to something with this:





> maybe your dream mind makes you a female in situations where you're more powerless, or more aroused, or are better at socializing, or are feeling vain, whatever your mind tends to associate with females.



Anyway, my concern, at least for the purposes of this thread, isn't in the interpretation / meaning, but rather in how common or uncommon this is.  

Thanks a lot for the reply!

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## Elemental Queen

lol ive been first person dude then zoomed out third person so im guessing its just like reading a book about a guy in first person and following his adventures, and being a girl.  Doesnt really bother me too much.  ^_^

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## Rikki

So glad someone has the same thing as me! I often have dreams as a girl, sometimes they're really normal and everyday and sometimes they're more intimate. I'm not gay but I suppose I am curious. It's never girl on girl or boy on boy, it's usually all heterosexual, it's just I'm the girl?? I dunno how normal it is, but more and more of the dreams I remember I'm female rather than male. The most recent was particularly feminine; at first it was third person and quite normal, but soon I became one of the girls in 1st person, and had a very stereotypical teenage girly crush on a boy, who I could never see the face of or identify. Soon it became very romantic, almost becoming the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. I woke up just before things became very intimate and I felt relaxed afterwards, but it's dawned on me just how girly it all was. This is the sort of dream teenage girls have :/ I'm not sure if my mind's trying to tell me something, but dreams in which I'm female are becoming more frequentative. Hope that helps.

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## MikalMan

Sometimes the story of the dream calls for me to turn into several different characters. It bugs the hell out of me if one of those characters is a chick. But I have dreams like that sort of often

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## ProlixDreams

> lol ive been first person dude then zoomed out third person so im guessing its just like reading a book about a guy in first person and following his adventures, and being a girl.  Doesnt really bother me too much.  ^_^



Pretty much this!! I dream that I'm a guy pretty often but nearly all of my dreams involve at least some time spent in 3rd person.

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## lifeinsteps

Yeah, I can't say I've ever dreamed as a female, but certainly as different characters. I feel like what you dream about is entirely up to you and perfectly normal within the confines of your mind. They're your dreams, and you can dream about anything you want to dream about.

One time I dreamed I was a long-haired, dirty (as in covered in dirt not, like, perverted) sort of Roman soldier fellow. I was fighting a Cyclops with my three men and we were on his mini-golf course. Tiny little guys of only about 98% of his size.

It might not have been historically accurate. :I

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## insideout

It is not that unusual. I've been a woman in a few dreams that I remember.
I say you're no more strange than anyone else  :Cheeky:

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## Darkmatters

Yeah - you just don't hear about it because it's the kind of thing people don't TALK about..   :Cheeky:

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