# Sleep and Dreams > Sleep and Health >  >  Problems sleeping alone...

## slayer

I feel like I can't get to sleep without someone beside me.

Well, this is sort of embarrassing to say, but for a long time, I would always sleep in my mom's room with her. I stopped doing this when I started to try to Lucid Dream, so I can thank LDing for getting me to sleep in my own room.

But having slept in the same bed with someone for so long, I feel like I can't sleep comfortably without someone beside me.

I only realized this last night. And I'm not sure how to overcome this, as I'm not sure if this is something I will just outgrow, because ever since I slept in my own room, I've seemed to always have this problem.

I can't really just go out and get a girlfriend and have her sleep in my room with me...I know my parents would defiantly object to that.

I don't know how I should fix this problem, so does anyone have any suggestions?

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## IndigoGhost

Yes, a Giant Teddy bear.

Not meaning it as a joke or anything but haveing a giant bear next too you would almost certinally sort out your problem, but on the other hand it may not be that sleeping alone is your problem but sleeping away from your mother is your problem, especially if you had a close bond with her, I could go into deep psycological reason but i will leave it at that ^^

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## slayer

It's not like I've moved out or anything, our rooms are right next to each other.

Also, I'm not too sure about a giant teddybear...I do have a small turtle next to me, but it's just there...

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## IndigoGhost

Needs to be Human sized, and the Mother thing is psycological, being that your further away from her physicly transfering to a phycological feeling of lonelyness that your probably feeling on your own hence being unable to sleep comfortably.

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## slayer

Well, I just don't really want to feel like it's "childish" or anything...I do realize that it may be helping me, but I don't want to have to deal with people making fun of me at school. And I know they would because my brother tells everyone just about everything he sees or hears...

Now, if it was something anime related, then I could definitaly get something that no one would find weird, as if it was just a doll, I could just put it in my room as display, then when I go to bed, just set it next to me.

Plus, I would rather be cought sleeping with some anime thing than some giant teddy bear...

But yeah, it would have to be something that's human sized.

And no, I highly doubt my mom would buy me a blow up doll...

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## IndigoGhost

Get one of those Bear things from Bleach no idea what its called cause i dont watch Bleach but i know they sell em at a large size.

Also m8, dont feel embaresed about it, nothing to be embaresed about just look at the people who are mocking you and realise that they mock you for being different, but by being different you are being unique and greatness comes from being different, Nobody has got that far makeing fun of people because they useually end up with crappy jobs.

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## slayer

> Get one of those Bear things from Bleach no idea what its called cause i dont watch Bleach but i know they sell em at a large size.
> 
> Also m8, dont feel embaresed about it, nothing to be embaresed about just look at the people who are mocking you and realise that they mock you for being different, but by being different you are being unique and greatness comes from being different, Nobody has got that far makeing fun of people because they useually end up with crappy jobs.



His name is Kon. /animenerd

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## IndigoGhost

There ya go ^_^ - Get a giant Kon  :tongue2: 

On another note, I am sure Steve jobs always used to get Mocked and Bullied for always wareing a Black shirt and Jeans, but he diddent let it bother him and look where he is now! and he still hasent taken off those Shirt and Jeans!

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## slayer

Steve Jobs...

Where I have heard that name...

Wasn't he one of the guys who made the first Apple computer?

Edit: And would anyone else have any suggestions?

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## ♥Mark

Get used to it. You're going to be alone for a long time.

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## slayer

> Get used to it. You're going to be alone for a long time.



This is true...

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## shrimpster

Umm apart from the giant teddy bear/toy animal option I'm not sure :S...

It probably is more of a psychological thing, try spending more time with your mother if it is emotionally based?

But I would try the giant teddy bear approach as well, even if your brother is an ass you could just have it out at night so he won't realize?(then again he might realize...).

Hmm, It might be best just to try and forget about it as it seems that you've been LDing/not sleeping with someone for 1 and a half years and you've only came to the realization that it's a problem now so it may just be that you're making a big problem out of a small one...

ANY WHO, I hope you find a solution for your problem in the not-so-distant future. ::D:

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## Sweet Dreams

you're not a lone slayer. i still love to sleep next to my mom whenever i could, i'll always be her baby girl! i have brothers and cousins who do the same, it's just not something that people talk about out in the open. and really, it's no body's business, it's nothing weird.

and yes it is mostly a psychological thing. i myself learned to love sleeping alone, even though i grew up sharing rooms or even a bed with a sis..
 yet, when i sleep alone, i love having extra pillows around me, especially on either side of the bed so that i don't feel like i'll fall off the edge. i think it serves as both physical as well as psychological support.

so, no need for big giant teddy bear. try the pillow thing, and, most importantly, learn to relax. relaxing is the number one thing you need. there's this thing about being near our mothers that instantaneously puts us at ease. so there's obviously great benefits in learning how to relax without being next to our mothers. there are threads here dedicated to relaxation techniques, and lots over the web. if you need specific links send me a PM and i'll be happy to share them.

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## IndigoGhost

> you're not a lone slayer. i still love to sleep next to my mom whenever i could, i'll always be her baby girl! i have brothers and cousins who do the same, it's just not something that people talk about out in the open. and really, it's no body's business, it's nothing weird.
> 
> and yes it is mostly a psychological thing. i myself learned to love sleeping alone, even though i grew up sharing rooms or even a bed with a sis..
>  yet, when i sleep alone, i love having extra pillows around me, especially on either side of the bed so that i don't feel like i'll fall off the edge. i think it serves as both physical as well as psychological support.
> 
> so, no need for big giant teddy bear. try the pillow thing, and, most importantly, learn to relax. relaxing is the number one thing you need. there's this thing about being near our mothers that instantaneously puts us at ease. so there's obviously great benefits in learning how to relax without being next to our mothers. there are threads here dedicated to relaxation techniques, and lots over the web. if you need specific links send me a PM and i'll be happy to share them.



I agree ^^

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## Shift

Actually, this sleeping in the same bed as your parents thing is more common than you'd expect, although I believe it typically ends around age 11 or 12. I'm not saying that it is NORMAL (because what does that mean, and who gets to set that standard anyway??), but I did it until I was about that age, and I know a LOT of people who did the same thing. Although it does depend on how close you are to your parent(s) and the sexes of the people involved I guess. I'd never sleep in my dad's bed lol.

But as a 12 year old girl I didn't have a problem sleeping in my mom's bed frequently, until she got cats and I was allergic to them. I used to do this when I was young and woke up from nightmares, and when we moved to our new house I started doing it again, so I think yes that it is a psychological comfort thing, not to mention physical closeness is comforting.

My dog sleeps in my bed with me when I am at home. When I am at school I feel very alone in my bed at night. I've gotten more adjusted to it but it is disconcerting to be in a bed alone, although now I think it would be weird if I slept in my mom's bed  ::tongue:: 

Anyway do you have a dog you can sleep with? They're very snuggly and comforting  :smiley: 

You could try weaning yourself off of needing that physical comfort/closeness. Just start sleeping in her room less and less often over a gradual period of time. Drop one day every two weeks, and I think that in two or three months you won't have to worry about your brother bugging you, and you'll be sleeping comfortably on your own!

This is probably something I shouldn't say but...  ::?:  is there anything you can blackmail YOUR brother with? So if he ever brings it up, and threatens to tell people, you can retaliate? I know this is how sibling rivalry works, before my brother grew up he could be a total douche bag too  :Sad:

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## slayer

> and yes it is mostly a psychological thing. i myself learned to love sleeping alone, even though i grew up sharing rooms or even a bed with a sis..
>  yet, when i sleep alone, i love having extra pillows around me, especially on either side of the bed so that i don't feel like i'll fall off the edge. i think it serves as both physical as well as psychological support.



Oh yes, I love having lots of pillows! I have about 8 or so on my bed...or atleast I did  :tongue2: 

I haven't slept in my moms room for a long time. And my dogs smell, so there is no way I'm going to let one of them sleep on my bed. But sometimes, one of my dogs will come in and sleep at the foot of my bed.

Plus, my parents don't like it when animals get on the furniture  :tongue2: 

I could try the pillow thing some more. I do know now of Elfen Lied pillow sheets that have pictures of the characters on them  :tongue2:

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## AlexLou

Get a body pillow.

Oh, and sleeping with people: ick! I want my own bed!! ::damnit::

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## Shift

Give your dogs a bath!!!  ::tongue::

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## slayer

LOL we do!

But they run right back outside...

We close the doors and stuff but when we have to let them out, they run out and roll around in the dirt and stuff.

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## Shift

Aw, bummer. Yea I have an electric fence, and after my girls are out they smell pretty bad. I know dogs only sweat through their feet, but honestly it's like they smell bad because they've been out sweating, but then it goes away... I dunno, maybe my dogs just have stinky feet  ::tongue::  

Hmm. If it was me that's a behavior I'd correct, just so that they didn't reek and I didn't have to bathe them as often lol. Of course I'm also the only one in my family that ever washes the dog (unless they get out and swim in the lake, in which case everyone wants to give them a bath asap haha)

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## AlexLou

Like wolves, dogs don't like to smell like dogs so they disguise their smell by rolling in anything stinky they can find.  It actually helps wolves sneak up on prey . . .

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## IndigoGhost

Yes my dogs roll in Slugs and Snails. also have to remember to stop them licking me......

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## EchoSun13

Is it out of fear you can't sleep alone, or is it because you are use to sleeping next to someone?

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## slayer

I'm used to sleeping next to someone. The only time I get scarred of sleeping alone is when I start to flood my head with bad images like those scary pop-up websites and that sort of stuff...

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## Halocuber

> Oh yes, I love having lots of pillows! I have about 8 or so on my bed...or atleast I did 
> 
> I haven't slept in my moms room for a long time. And my dogs smell, so there is no way I'm going to let one of them sleep on my bed. But sometimes, one of my dogs will come in and sleep at the foot of my bed.
> 
> Plus, my parents don't like it when animals get on the furniture 
> 
> I could try the pillow thing some more. I do know now of Elfen Lied pillow sheets that have pictures of the characters on them



That sucks...  But , would your parents allow your dog to sleep at the foot of the bed if he is  like groom once a day and bathe once a week?

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## slayer

Oh no, it's fine if they sleep in my room, just not on the beds.

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## EchoSun13

Well I don't really know what to say, sorry.
You can always try the teddy bear idea..

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## Lennox

I love my cat  :smiley: 

If your dogs are friendly grab one  :tongue2:

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## Shift

> Like wolves, dogs don't like to smell like dogs so they disguise their smell by rolling in anything stinky they can find.  It actually helps wolves sneak up on prey . . .



Well, they don't actually _roll_ in anything! They just smell bad in general when they've been outside in the heat, and after a while it goes away (about 50 minutes). Then as soon as they go back out, they start to stink again  ::?:  And it's really only the border collie.

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## peppy

I sometimes sleep with my cat. He keeps me warm and stuff but for someone reason i find that i sleep better without him in my bed. This is the reason why i hardly ever have an ld when he's sleeping with me. and yeah i think getting a body pillow is a good idea.  :smiley:

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## Advantageous Noodle

Whatever you do...do NOT buy a giant stuffed animal. I think rolling over at night and seeing a large animal or worse...a clown...staring at you will do you worse than sleeping alone. Give your dogs a bath, watch them so they don't roll in the dirt (ie make them come back in, make them stop, etc) then don't tell your parents they're sleeping on the bed.

Then just repeat this forever, as doggies are supposed to sleep on the bed with people!

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## shrimpster

> I sometimes sleep with my cat. He keeps me warm and stuff but for someone reason i find that i sleep better without him in my bed. This is the reason why i hardly ever have an ld when he's sleeping with me. and yeah i think getting a body pillow is a good idea.



I can't sleep whenever I have my cat on the bed but I think it's just because there's not much room. ::tongue:: 





> ...Then just repeat this forever, as doggies are supposed to sleep on the bed with people!



My dog would probably crush me if I decided to sleep with him... ::shakehead2:: 
But that's just my dog so yeeeer ::tongue::

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## Shift

> Whatever you do...do NOT buy a giant stuffed animal. I think rolling over at night and seeing a large animal or worse...a clown...staring at you will do you worse than sleeping alone.



What the hell kind of toys did you play with as a kid??  ::shock::

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## IndigoGhost

::cookiemonster::  C is for ?

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## ♥Mark

> C is for ?



Crippling loneliness.

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## ray

lol i sleep with my three full size pillows and my stuffed animals all around me, and my two cats when i can get them to sleep with me.my big malamute doggie used to sleep with/on me at night...i miss his heavy dogish warmth.we had to make him an outside dog because he got too big for our dinky house. :Sad:  i sneak him inside though when my parents aren't home. ::D:  but yeah big cuddly dogs are the best to sleep with.

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## IndigoGhost

> Crippling loneliness.



Indeed  :Sad:

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## slayer

> Crippling loneliness.



I lol'd hard.

No seriously, I did.

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## Binsk

> Crippling loneliness.



 ::shock::  Wow...  ::laughtillhurts:: 

Back to the topic...

As others have said, sleeping with a stuffed animal or pellows is a great idea. I always have had a better time sleeping myself when I have a little something making noise in the background to make the room feel more "occupied". For example, have a fan blowing, or perhaps some soft quiet music playing in the background that is just BARELY loud enough to hear. If you have a cat, or other small animal, they are great comforts to sleep with also. I never liked dogs myself, too big.  ::roll::  
If that doesn't seem to do it, get yourself 3 fluffy blankets, two to lie on (feather blankets are amazing, like sleeping on a cloud) and lots and LOTS of pellows, and I mean LOTS so that they are practically flowing off the bed, they are on top, and all around you. If you need a teddy bear or something, don't be embarrased of what people say. Lots of people sleep with stuffed animals. (Also, as a personal note, I always found the arm-sized teddybears more comforting than the big ones. Think like a little kid, you want something you can grab and keep your company) 
I don't really get lonely anymore when I sleep, but sometimes I get a sudden urge and I do just as stated above.

 ::D:

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## slayer

I can imagine myself laying on a lot of pillows  :smiley: 

I'll have to buy one of these feather blankets sometime. They sound nice.

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## IndigoGhost

> I can imagine myself laying on a lot of pillows 
> 
> I'll have to buy one of these feather blankets sometime. They sound nice.



I have one of those blankets, they are godly.

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## slayer

Well, after a couple of nights, I tried using this little stuffed turtle my sister gave me, and it's not really helping. I just forget I'm holding onto it and laying it beside me doesn't really work.

I also tried laying a pillow beside me and holding onto it or just having it lay right next to me where I can feel it. When I hold onto the pillow, my arm starts to hurt because I can't seem to find a comfertable position to lay in, so this led me to lay the pillow beside me, which is really just having the same effect as the turtle.

Are there any other suggestions? It may be a long time before I can try out that feather blanket thing because I'm really poor.

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## IndigoGhost

Well only other thing i could suggest is just trying meditation before sleep, its what i do sometime, if you concentrate on going to sleep fast wile meditating you should be able to sleep so fast it doesn't even bother you anymore!

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## ray

i think the reason stuffed animals work for some people and not others is because some people are emotionally attached to their stuffed animal.i think you have to be emotionally attached to something for it to comfort you and that is why something just being there doesn't help.it may sound childish but i am attached to the stuffed wolf i sleep with,it helps to comfort me if i am upset or something or can not sleep one night(i also think this is why sleeping with animals is so comforting).as for the uncomfortable position of hanging on to it i just place it as close to me as possible.

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## Binsk

Well... I think ray hit the nail right on the head with the stuffed animals. I don't really have any ideas left, but perhaps if you just wait it out it will go away soon enough? Something that may help while waiting it out is to simply think of something else. What I like to do before bed is come up with fantasies in my head, full blown stories I tell myself while I go to sleep. If it is good, I might right it down in the morning and continue it the next night. It may not be a cure-all, but it gets your mind off things.

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## slayer

> Well... I think ray hit the nail right on the head with the stuffed animals. I don't really have any ideas left, but perhaps if you just wait it out it will go away soon enough? Something that may help while waiting it out is to simply think of something else. What I like to do before bed is come up with fantasies in my head, full blown stories I tell myself while I go to sleep. If it is good, I might right it down in the morning and continue it the next night. It may not be a cure-all, but it gets your mind off things.



I've been waiting for some years now  :tongue2: 

And yeah, I love to make up stories in my head...especially when I blank out of reality and just think about my thoughts  :tongue2:

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## Eos

Hey Slayer, you're not alone. I had a similar problem a few weeks ago, except it wasn't because of being alone. Seriously, if I didn't find this site, I'd probably still be sleeping with someone. I'd get all kinds of nightmares, and waking up seeing monsters. I was so scared that I just couldn't sleep by myself. I even try to pull all-nighters. I was scared of the dark and would leave the lights on, run on over to my mom's room to sleep, or downstairs to sleep on the couch next to my dad. Everyday, I was terrified, and kept thinking something was haunting me. It was horrible. I felt really bad about the fact that I was sleeping with my parents. I was being hard on myself and kept thinking "what if someone finds out." Btw, I sleep with a giant human sized bunny, and my cat who just doesn't stay in one spot of my bed (he ends up leaving my room). X3

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## eep

i had sort of a similar problem. when i was young (really young) i couldnt stand been upstairs alone, i used to sit on the landing waiting for my older sister to go to bed so i could sleep comfortoubly. then after a year or two i used to sleep in her bed or my mums, id sneak in in the middle of the night lol. i used to lay in my own bed with my eyes open till i fell asleep. i did this upuntill the age of about 8, maybe 10.
anyway i started to sleep in my own bed. and yeah it did feel uncormfortouble for quiet some time. but eventually i got used to it. im 18 now and havent thought about it feeling wierd in years. youve just got to get on with it. well thats what helped me

hope this helps

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## slayer

I'm already over sleeping in my moms room. And I have no plans on going back in there to sleep.

I'm going to be going shopping for some clothes on the 11th. I might be able to convince my mom to buy a big pillow or something...

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## guitarboy

aah, my dog sleeps with me, but i wouldnt grab him, hes and old geezer and hed probably claw me. hes a small papillion, and he hates dirt and doesn't smell :p well i suggest lots and lots of stuffed animals, i used to do that when i was little, it was fun  :smiley:

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## EchoSun13

Just curl up with a nice cat girl and get some sleep Slayer!

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## Clairity

> I'm going to be going shopping for some clothes on the 11th. I might be able to convince my mom to buy a big pillow or something...



slayer, Target has body pillows starting at $10.00:

http://www.target.com/Body-Pillow-Pl...0pillow&page=1

.

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## supreme

I love love love sleeping alone!!  ::D:  I do this many times, especially if I stay
up late and my husband goes to bed early. I'll then just sleep in the spare
bedroom (the one I've made up to my exact specifications!  ::lol:: ) It's my
'heaven place'. Flowers and pretty bedspreads and pretty pictures and aroma
candles! I sleep in there more often then not and I love it when I can, and
my husband doesn't mind having the other bed to himself either. Sometimes,
I'll admit to myself, that I stay up late just purposely so that I _can_ retire in 
my 'heaven place'!  ::D: 

The 'olden days' had something there I think...far as I'm concerned anyway.  :smiley:

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## slayer

> Just curl up with a nice cat girl and get some sleep Slayer!



I wish I could...in fact, if I did have a cat girl to curl up with, then I would have not made this thread. Actually, I probably wouldn't be on DV right now...

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## EchoSun13

Oh Slayer...

So sad.

I will be your cat girl, Ok?

Curl up with me..!

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## Clairity

> I love love love sleeping alone!!



You're not alone supreme.. my husband travels during the week and sometimes it's really nice to sleep alone.  I can listen to my MP3s, WBTB or simply not have to worry about being woken up by his occasional snoring.  :smiley: 

.

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## slayer

Yeah, but if your like me, and sleep alone for too long, you become lonely  :Sad: 

And it seems I'm going shopping with my sister...soo...I don't know if I can get that pillow.

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## EchoSun13

> Yeah, but if your like me, and sleep alone for too long, you become lonely 
> .



Curl up with me,and take a nap. :tongue2:

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## slayer

> Curl up with me,and take a nap.



Ok :3

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## EchoSun13

Yay!

 :smiley:

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## slayer

> Yay!



Can we share pillows?

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## EchoSun13

Ahaha, of course we can.

 :tongue2:

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