# Lucid Dreaming > General Lucid Discussion >  >  i had a lucid dream where i raped a girl. is this bad?

## michael98

i had a lucid dream last night where i wanted to have sex but there wasnt any girls around. so i went next door and saw my next door neighbor in her pool. she knew what i was about to do and was begging me and screaming to me to not do it.but since i knew i was dreaming i thought it didnt really matter. i would NEVER even think of doing this in real life. i know that raping and sexually abusing people is wrong and i would never do it. but now that im awake i feel bad for doing this in the dream. this girl is a real person that i dont really know that well but shes not just some made up dream character. does this dream make me a bad person?

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## elucid

Depends on what people think of dreams. 

If people think that dreams are not real, then it is as though you have not done that action, but if  some think that you might be in a different universe or dimension, or that shared dreaming is involved then the action might be real and so it might have to be resolved by perhaps not doing that action.

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## moSh

Some people also believe (like myself, within reason), that dreams are half real, in that they represent something else - usually something largely unrelated. I'm not going to try and analyse your dream, as I have neither the expertise nor the authority, but you may want to ask yourself what it could have meant? To be honest, the usual belief in dream meanings is that the dream represents something hard to deal with your conscious/waking mind, by showing you something less traumatic - but I suppose that doesn't really work in this case!

So long as no harm has, or will, be done - as you clearly have respectable morals - I wouldn't worry about it.

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## OpheliaBlue

I'd say, since you KNEW it was a dream, and not real life, and you know the difference between right and wrong in REAL life, then it's not technically 'bad'. Though I might not be too public about admitting those dreams, just to keep your butt covered  :wink2:

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## Puffin

It depends on you, your own morals, and what others have said. The simple fact that you're feeling bad after doing it simply means that you don't believe it was the right thing to do, regardless of how you try to rationalize it. I personally would feel terrible after doing something like that as well, because even though I know it's not "real", I'm not comfortable with seeing someone screaming for me to "stop"; the fact that I'm ignoring pleas when I'm in full control would make me feel like a bad person. I don't care if they're real or not.

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## lucidsurfer

did you ever assume that is what she thought about you at one point even though she never alluded to such?

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## MRH92

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm the least violent person you will ever meet but in my dreams I like to fight people and sometimes even kill. It doesn't mean I would ever do this in real life but because I'm not violent and I have little outlet for anger in life I use my dreams for that. It's like video games. I can run around shooting everything that moves but I'd never ever think about shooting something in real life. It's just a release of stress and emotion. I have woken up a few times feeling uneasy at what I've done but ultimately no one was harmed so really it's ok.

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## cedward1

I have worried a bit about similar things. In a few recent lucid dreams I have done things that were a bit out of kilter with my standards of morality, and immediately regretted it upon waking up. It seems that our ability to make decisions is skewed in dreams somehow, even in lucid dreams. Or maybe it's just that there are various levels of lucidity and in a lower level of lucidity we know we are dreaming but we can't act as rationally as in real life. 

Of course, we all have a dark side to our nature. Generally we are able to control this while awake, but under the influence of drugs or alcohol people occasionally do things they would never consciously think about doing or even think they were capable of doing. I wonder if it can be a similar effect in a lucid dream. Or if it's like the old saying "absolute power corrupts absolutely". Omnipotence itself can be like a drug at times.

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## Rawracookie

Like everybody else has said, it doesn't make you a bad person. 

Unlike everybody, I'd TOTALLY do that in a lucid dream. Probably not all the time, but sometimes you feel good to go wild in a lucid dream.

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## Rothgar

Personally I think it is good to be consistant in your morality whether asleep or awake for the sake of integrity... Im working on that. But I too have done the same as you. It IS a dream and it is tempting. But remember, "with great power comes great responsibility".

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## tommo

> I would NEVER even think of doing this in real life.



That's all you need to know  :smiley: 
It's perfectly fine.  As long as you don't hurt anyone, nothing is "wrong".

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## TDPUK

Well i wouldn't say it's bad. The official Dreamviews lucid sex tutorial say's to find a target and do the deed.. and that she won't 'usually put up a fight'

It isn't real life, so your fine  :smiley:

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## cedward1

Well, I wouldn't exactly say that just because it is a dream that there is no longer any morality. I would be uncomfortable if someone spent every night pretending that he was Jack the Ripper, and enjoying the experience of mutilating defenseless women for example. If you enjoy the suffering of others, it still lacks morality in my opinion whether it is a dream or not. I believe that morality is dependant upon our motivations more than on what is actually done. If you rape a girl with the thought that "nobody is actually suffering here, it is all in my head" it isn't quite the same as thinking "I want to see what it's like to rape someone". It still begs the question of sexual morality of course, but in a different way. 

And I don't necessarily agree that just because something is done in a dream that no harm is done. In my opinion, we can harm ourselves psychologically and emotionally by things we do in a dream, just as we could in waking life by having violent fantasies all the time.

I have many thoughts on the subject, which is a section of philosophy that is not very well explored and I think could use some discussion.

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## chrstphr

Someone suggested that feeling bad is evidence you did something wrong. She assumed you were in full control, when you plainly indicated that you weren't. Besides, how we feel is sometimes based on delusional thoughts… on our beliefs about what reality should be like (as opposed to what it actually is, aside from our beliefs). Feelings are never trustworthy guides to what's real.

For example, maybe you feel bad because you think this DC is somehow a "real person". The DC's not a real person, and neither were you in the dream. You did differently in the dream than you would IRL, and that's the proof it wasn't "you". Funny how quickly we attribute personhood to fragmentary beings.

The DC screamed… Well, the DC would have done anything according to your expectations. With different expectations she might have smiled and dropped her panties on the spot and jumped on you. Either way, she's a program playing out what she must, according to the dreamer's expectations - like everything in a dream (including "you" to some extent).

In this dream the dreamer wanted sex and his inhibitory function wasn't in full swing (it being a dream and all…), so he did what he desired. Getting morally uptight about it would be like criticizing a bear for shitting in the woods.

So IMV nothing "bad" happened here. Actually it's a marvelous opportunity for examining your beliefs. To me, to watch dreams or try to be lucid in dreams is nothing but thrill-seeking, and wasted time, if it doesn't challenge your beliefs.

Personally I'd seek to make my personal ethics and behavior consistent in lucid dreams. (Though it'd be a stupid expectation in non-lucid dreams, since those are fully automated and there's no ego there to make moral choices). DC's are almost certainly automata. But being "more ethical" is good practice at increasing the lucidity, one's mental presence, both in dreams and awake.

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## ShadowOfSelf

Yes it was wrong, nowhere near as wrong as real life, but, you essentially just raped an aspect of your own mind.....

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## gab

Well, if dreams are just in our heads, in our personal playground, then I would say no harm done. But I can't really buy the idea, that we are provided with this ability of lucid dreaming for a purpose of doing bad deeds. 

And what if dreams are not just in our head. What if DCs we meet are another dreamers, lucid or not. Can we really say "no harm done"?

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## Original Poster

No one ever screams and begs to me... it'd probably be more interesting than turning into a mannequin and taking it like they usually do.

But it would also make me feel awkward about it

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## OpheliaBlue

haha mannequin?

Mine sometimes turn into not-really-that-mean demons, or they shrink into midgets

I HATE that

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## Original Poster

Not literally. I mean they just like... go blank. Like the body's still there but the personality is gone

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## silver2k

What I wanna know is, you said there were no girls around, but then you went to your neighbours and found her at the pool..Why did you take the rape approach from there?  :tongue2:

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## SpecterSlash

Its a dream! If you like it then it's not bad! Though you should keep these things yourself. I even have to add a chainlock to my dream journal because its full of... Odd types of... Yeah its secret!

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## michael98

what do you mean by "take the rape approach from there"?

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## VexedVagabond

> Depends on what people think of dreams. 
> 
> If people think that dreams are not real, then it is as though you have not done that action, but if  some think that you might be in a different universe or dimension, or that shared dreaming is involved then the action might be real and so it might have to be resolved by perhaps not doing that action.



Perhaps, of course!

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## VexedVagabond

You had a twisted thought play out in one of your dreams, it's no big deal. As long as you know it is wrong and won't do it. Try not to dwell on it too much, messed up dreams happen some times. The next time you want to have sex with a lady in your dreams clap your hands or something, with lucidity you can make it rain beautiful babes.

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## TheModernNinja

Because I believe in Shared Dreaming, I think that's bad...What if she was a Dreamer, not a DC?

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## Ermac

We all like to try bad things while being LD, its completely normal - Humans in reality have a natural tendency to do horrible things but society keeps us in check

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## yuppie11975

I kind of disagree what most people are saying, I don't really care when it comes to dreams, they're NOT real.
Would I do it in a dream? No, because it's not my idea of fun, but if that's what you want to do, go ahead. As long as you can distinguish between right and wrong in real life and in dreams, it's fine. It's like so many people do stuff like rob banks, and get in fights in dreams. That's still illegal in real life, but no one cares. Why? Because it's not looked down on anywhere as close as rape. So do people care? No.
Feeling bad is also natural.

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## michael98

just so everyone knows, the dream wasnt me "going around wanting to rape a girl". thats just what ended up happening because she was the only girl around. normally the girls dont care if i have sex with them. this girl was different. but i still thought "its just a dream,so what if i do it"

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## Skateaton

Woah dude, this is wrong, unless she was hot. Then it's fine


(im kidding, not wrong at all unless you wake up and say "THAT WAS AWESOME TIME TO DO IT IRL"

Dreams like this make up 99% of my dreams. They are the 99%. Occupy Skateaton's head."

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## TheModernNinja

Lol :p

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## francis148

We humans are evil.Yes we are evil,there are certain rules and regulations that are stopping us from doing bad things.

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## Liquidaque

Well... me personally, I think that's a little wrong.  I don't think you have TOO much to worry about, as it IS just a dream... BUT, perhaps you shouldn't do it again.  I always treat my DC's with the utmost respect, as to me, they are either real (in some respect), or they are a part of you.  So as someone said already, you just raped some aspect of your psyche.  Even if the DC's are COMPLETELY disconnected from reality and yourself, I'd STILL avoid doing such things, as it may somehow pass on into WL, even if it's just slightly.

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## Spyguy

I think the only difference between this one and the other times u had LD sex is that this one mimiced the face of a RL person. That made you feel bad. But no harm was done to her. As long as you don't start doing that stuff in waking life it's fine.

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## RemoteVicinity

If you feared she wouldn't have sex with you, that might have caused her not to want to. You knew it was a dream, so you had sex with her anyway.

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## Csorax

> i had a lucid dream last night where i wanted to have sex but there wasnt any girls around. so i went next door and saw my next door neighbor in her pool. she knew what i was about to do and was begging me and screaming to me to not do it.but since i knew i was dreaming i thought it didnt really matter. i would NEVER even think of doing this in real life. i know that raping and sexually abusing people is wrong and i would never do it. but now that im awake i feel bad for doing this in the dream. this girl is a real person that i dont really know that well but shes not just some made up dream character. does this dream make me a bad person?



 






I'm sorry, but I really couldn't help myself

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## opalwolf

you gave into a lower more primal feeling of sexuality. do not feel bad, instead perhaps see it as an obstacle to overcome. 

i used to have sex in my lucid dreams, but it started to bother me that i could do whatever i wanted and would resort to doing something so basic. now (usually) i try to do something a little more interesting, like flying or passing through walls.. 

i wouldn't feel bad.. we all have a shadow self and secret desires and urges.. in a lucid dream, since we are aware of its unreality, it is easier to play out those types of fantasies or desires.

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## saltyseedog

No. You didn't actually hurt a person or do something against their will. It was a dream character so who cares? You can do whatever you want in dreams don't let morals limit your fun.

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## bappjf

Your guilty conscience IRL is telling you it's wrong -- why do you need any one else's opinion???

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## yuppie11975

> Your guilty conscience IRL is telling you it's wrong -- why do you need any one else's opinion???



Just because he feels  guilty, doesn't mean it's wrong. He's asking for people's opinions to see what they think.. 
Say you were in a room, and you had to press a button, if you didn't press it, three people in a cage would fall into lava, and die. If you do press it, then one person falls into the lava and dies. Would you feel guilty? OF COURSE! Was it the wrong thing to do? No, you saved the majority.

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## Kaenthem

> Just because he feels  guilty, doesn't mean it's wrong. He's asking for people's opinions to see what they think.. 
> Say you were in a room, and you had to press a button, if you didn't press it, three people in a cage would fall into lava, and die. If you do press it, then one person falls into the lava and dies. Would you feel guilty? OF COURSE! Was it the wrong thing to do? No, you saved the majority.



*thats right......i guess*

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## Rothgar

Welcome to the "real" world, where you are finding you still have to make moral choices regardless of whether you are dreaming or not. I don't think its much different than viewing porn...except that you can't get caught. If one doesn't bother you the other one probably wont, and vice versa.  Only the Creator (if you believe in Him) can see what you do in your mind. If you don't follow Jesus, then you can totally ignore this (not trying to convert anyone here to my personal belief system)... but He said: "If you look upon a woman lustfully, you have already committed adultry in your heart". That's the guidance I (try to) follow.

I also like movies, and to quote King Baldwin, the Leper King in the movie "Kingdom of 
Heaven":

"When I was sixteen, I won a great victory. I felt in that moment I would live to be a hundred. Now I know I shall not see thirty. None of us know our end, really, or what hand will guide us there. A king may move a man, a father may claim a son, but that man can also move himself, and only then does that man truly begin his own game. Remember that howsoever you are played or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone, even though those who presume to play you be kings or men of power. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus," or that virtue was not convenient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that."

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## DeeryTheDeer

I agree with most everyone else, except, well, it's a LUCID dream. You have complete control over your DCs, since they're just a figment of your imagination, so the girl in the pool could have easily wanted to have sex with you and not scream if you wanted her to. Just to keep in mind for next time.

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## yuppie11975

Sigh.. why is it that religious people link EVERYTHING to their beliefs.. like yes, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But seriously... come on.
Anyway, I'm going to go masturbate to some interacial porn..

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## Baron Samedi

You should talk to the girl next door.

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## Rawracookie

I had a dream that was kind of relevant to this conversation. Early in the dream my cat was transformed into a human girl. We were walking around doing some weird thing, possibly some sort of competition or whatever. Anyways, the relevant part was we walked into a room that was kind of like a church whatever room with rows of pews. A big lumbering man comes down the main walkway and tries to rape this girl that I knew to be my cat. Anyways, she starts fighting him and I'm just standing there watching this all go down not feeling any particular emotion. I think I woke up mid fight. Later I thought this might be some part of me fighting my sex drive (the big man thing) or whatever. I'm not really that big into dream interpretation.

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## Baron Samedi

i mean in a dream, talk to her.

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## Nhuc

> haha mannequin?
> 
> Mine sometimes turn into not-really-that-mean demons, or they shrink into midgets
> 
> I HATE that



not-really-that-mean demons would be quite fun  :wink2:

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