# Sleep and Dreams > Dream Journals > Dream Journal Archive >  >  Dreams of the Dorcha

## irishcream

I tried writing this once before, and it didn't work!!
i began writing my dreams down in October of last year, in September my parents went to live in America, and i found myself totally alone for the first time in my life.
It's kind of like moving out, but not.
I've remained in England in order to finish my NVQ in care, and i hope to join them in a couple of years, after i've gained more experience.
I am twenty years of age, and up until now, i have never had to look after myself, my parents did everything for me, as i still live at home.
(caring is a very poor profession.)

Can someone please reply to me, just to let me know that it is working ok?
there wasn't a link to the other one in my profile for some reason.
If it works, i will continue writing in here, otherwise i will try another way...
cheers!!  :smiley: 
okay, so it seems to have worked...time for me to put some dreams in...

16/10/2004
Had a very weird dream last night.  Mum was diagnosed with cancer, and she had to go for a radiotherapy appointment.  As she opened the door, our dog ran out into the middle of the road.  She came back, and then ran out again, a car stopped, and the man in the it was using a monile phone, which made me feel very angry.
Then another car came and almost hit her.
I thought it was weird in the dream that none of us went after her.

17/10/2004
Last night i dreamed that dad was trying to killl me.  I am in the kitchen with mum preparing dinner, but it's at a house i lieved in when i was younger.  Dad walks in, and i can tell something isn't right.  I ask him what the mater is and he tells me my time has come and that i must die.
I can see in hs hands a large pair of scissors.  We begin fighting, but he is stronger than me, and i am beaten, kneeling on the floor with my hands behind my back, and the pint of the scissors digging into me.  I think, 'this is it, i'm gonna die, and there's so many things i haven't done.'
I plead for my life, begging him not to do it, mum tells him to stop being an idiot.
After more wrestling, i manage to get away, and i find myself at the training centre for my NVQ, deciding whether to take an irish language course.
I bump into an ex colleague who says she was married to dad, and that he tried to kill her too!!

Am about to be logged off, so will write more tomorrow!!  ::wink:: 

5/11/2004
I am on the set of Eastenders, and the two actors playing Martin and Sarah are filming a scene in which Martin gets killed.
Martin is lying on the floor, and sarah is sat across him and has a hand on his throat as if to strangle him.  She starts chanting in a slow, monotonous voice, over and over.
I suddenly realise this isn't part of the script.  I look over at the actor playing Martin, and as Sarah is chanting, a film begins to appear over his face, being woven like a spiders' web, going over his eyes and mouth, suffocating him.  He looks over the me, terrified, but i am paralysed by fear and cannot move.
I wake up.
I found this dream quite alarming.

11/11/2004
I am in a pub, and i go up to the bar to order a drink. I suddenly find i am only about a foot hight.  I have to shout up to the barmaid, and she charges me 2 quid for a glass of coke, which i think is a rip off.
I try climbing up onto the bar stool, but i am too short.  Outside there is a beautiful sunset, and i shout to draw people's attention to it, but no one takes any notice.

14/11/2004
In this dream i am at some kind of event with a bunch of teenagers, trying to repair a bus.  The strange thing is, we have no tools, we are doing it all with our bare hands.
The bus gets fixed, and my dad tries to drive it away, but it gets stuck in mud.
I go behind it to give it a push, and the bus rolls on top of me, pinning me beneath it!
i wake up, feeling very, very scared!

15/11/2004
I find myself in what appears to be a university lecture room, preparing to take an exam in advanced mathematics (i hate maths!).  Apparently 72 people are supposed to take the exam, but only two of us turn up, me and this bloke.
as a result the exam is cancelled. This bloke and i end up together, and he's kissing me and telling me how wonderful i am, then he gives me the keys to his flat, and says any time i need cheering up, i know where he lives!  :Oops:  
Then we are in an elevator, going downwards.  The elevator is very posh, with a padded seat.  He sits on the seat, and asks me to join him, i say no, because otherwise we'll never get out of the lift.
I wake up (damn!)

23/11/2004
I was watching Greenday in concert, but they looked about 12!  The imagery was like an andy warhol painting of marilyn monroe, totally unreal.
Then i'm at work, in a resident's bedroom.  I have just used the toilet, when my best mate comes in and tells me off for not flushing it!

24/11/2004
vague dream of teaching a friend to play violin, and my mother trying to hack into my email...

26/11/2004
In this dream i am told by a woman that i must go under the bed.  Under the bed are three starues, venus, athena, and diana.  I am told i must link the three women, and break a curse.
I go under the bed, and find myself in a garden, with a fountain.  I am suddenly very small.  I find the statues, and they are the same size as me.  I try to link their hands, but find this impossible, as they are made of stone, and do not move.
Under my feet is ivy, and i get on my knees and start feeling with my hands for a switch.  Then a big spider comes out and starts crawling over my hand!!
I fight with it, trying to shake it off, but it bites me.

28/11/2004
this dream was very sad, concerning two people i care about.
I recollect a feeling in the dream that i have argued with a male friend of mine.  I go into work, and my other friend realises i am upset, and wants to know what the matter is.
I tell him about the row, and he walks off, into the hall way.
I follow him, and he tells me that i don't need this other person, that i should come back to him.
I tell him i can't because i no longer love him, and that's the end of it.
i wake up feeling very sad, and a little unsure about what i want.
A period of much soul searching followed this dream, and i think i've finally made the right decision.
I think this one was just slightly premonitory.

6/12/2004
I am going about my usual errands in town, when i notice a man.  It's the same one as was in the elevator dream.
I see him daily, and we finally talk when i drop my groceries.  He tells me he's been watching me, and we meet up every day after that.  After a week, he says he wants to continue seeing me, and i say yes.  He invites me round to his house, where i find his wife and son!!
 ::o:  

7/12/2004
I am walking to work and i bump into a woman standing on a bridge outside the church, looking into the brook.  She's complaining about the dirty water, and pollution, but i explain to her that it's like that because it rained the night before.
i find i have been talking to her for half an hour, and am late for work.  As i walk off, i take out my mobile to say i will be late, i go round the corner, and find myself in work, not late at all!!
I argue with my boss about a training course, and he won't give in.
the next thing i see is a pregnant friend of mine doubled over in pain, she's losing the baby!!
(I'm always anxious around pregnant people, i don't know why)
then we are supposed to have an entertainer, and he doesn't turn up. (this actually happened, q. spooky!)
then i am in church, and one of the relatives of a resident is playing the organ, with his wife standing beside him. (in life, she uses a wheelchair, and is bedbound most of the time!)
after the service, i begin playing the organ, and do a little jazz number!

11/12/2004
In the first part of the dream i am riding my bike, and i am finding it easier becasue i've raised the seat.  Then i am at what i can only suppose is work, but it isn't the nursing home.  I find myself at the top of a seemingly endless spiral staircase.  Everything is pink, the walls and the carpet.  The handrails and the staircase are varnished wood.  I feel like i'm in an asylum.  I suddenly notice there are babies all over the place, crawling around.  I begin to climb down the staircase, and everything is fine at first, until the staircase starts shifting and changing.  Steps disappear, becoming smooth, flat areas, similar to a 'Helter Skelter'.
Great chasms appear between floors and the railings also disappear at various points, usually when there are no steps, leaving me nothing to cling to.  At first i am frightened, then i begin to be annoyed.  Angrily i try to conquer the obstacles, the more i try, the worse it gets.  The babies offer me no help or consolation, i woke up feeling angry and frustrated.
*At the time of this dream i was under a lot of strain in my personal life, and work was also very difficult at this time, various frustrations had started to manifest within my dreams i think.*

12/12/2004
I am in a new age shop, discussing incense, crystals and chakra with the shopkeeper (who happens to own a new age clothes shop in the town where i live), i recollect having been in this place in my dreams before.

14/12/2004
In the first part of the dream i have become involved in the provision of the town's new swimming pool, but my pool is specifically for those with learning difficulties, a sort of hydrotherapy thing.  I put it to the council and they give it the go ahead.  I also manage to find a cure for cancer, which cuts out the need for chemotherapy.
The second part of the dream was _almost_lucid!!  I find myself in Montmartre, in France, facing what used to be the Moulin Rouge, which in my dream has been blown up. (it's 1888, don't ask me why, it just is, and i'm dressed accordingly!) I receive a text from my friend kevin, telling me not to move, and that's when i realise i'm dreaming, there were no such things as mobiles back then.
so, i wait expectantly for him, and concentrate very hard on him appearing, knowing i am dreaming.  Nothing happens, i think i tried too hard!!
I then find myself back in town again, in an antiques shop, looking at old picture post cards of places in days gone by.  They are postcards of places in france, paris, and montmartre (again...)
I am talking to the lady in the shop about the moulin rouge and how it blew up, and how satine died on the deck of a ship. (no she didn't liz, she got consumption...think Titanic tried to butt in there...)

27/12/2004
I am sitting in the smoking shed at work with graeme and norma.  She is telling me about the new traffic lights by the bridge, totally unaware of me fancying her husband! (errr....hell hath no fury...  ::shakehead2::  )
then i dream that i am in New York, except i'm a bloke  ::o:  in love with a maniacal woman who keeps trying to kill me!
then i'm with my parents and they've bought a house.
*Think i was really missing my folks at this time, it was the whole christmas period, and my first one on my own...  ::cry::  *

2/1/2005
I'm at another nursing home that i recently visited, and Fleetwood Mac are playing a live set.  I find myself astounded by Stevie Nicks, and ask one of the band members if she'd sign my cd for me.
he says they don't do signings

4/1/2005
I am in some kind of control facility, all the doors are on time locks.  Everything is jumbled up, there's a room with what appears to be a mainframe computer in it, graeme is in the kitchen peeling potatoes, and also there's a room filled with chocolate!
I then find myself in another part of the building, and an old lady is standing outside an open window, and she's in danger of falling off the ledge.  The building is very high up.  I try to coax her back in, but can't.
I realise i'm dreaming, as the lady on the windowsill is a resident who recently died, so i think, 'who could get her back in?  Graeme.' so i think about him, and i think, 'i need you here, i need your help.'  No sooner have i thought this than he is there, and he manages to coax the lady back in, and demands to know who left the window open

5/1/2005
It's christmas time, and mum has invited peter and graeme for christmas dinner.
I go round to peter's house to see if he's ready.
i knock on the door and he answers.  He's jiust got out of the bath, and he's drying himself with a towel.  Which slips.  so i get an eyeful.  I however take very little notice and carry on talking.
We go to dinner, and all through dinner peter keeps giving me funny looks.  Graeme says nothing.
the next day i am back at work, and graeme gives me a letter, telling me he is appalled at my behaviour of the night before.
*one for Freud i think...

10/1/2005
I'm lying on a bed, and it's 'that time of the month'.  I am also standing next to the bed, looking down on myself, putting a tampon into the 'me' on the bed, and i'm instructing myself!
everything seems fine, then when i stand up it's in the back of my throat!
at this point, 'the other me' has disappeared.
I am not alarmed by this, i put my finger down the back of my throat and push it back down again.
I'm also given handouts from the church, regarding safe sex!
They tell me that i can do it at this time of the month and be safe, and if neither of us likes it, there are other things to do!  :Oops:  

16/1/2005
I am shopping in Woolworths with Melanie, looking at chocolate, i am scrabbling around in my purse for spare change, feeling of guilt, spending money i haven't got! i was worrying about money around this timeand asks to borrow her credit card.  Mel gives it to her and says to me that her sister will clean her out.  John arrives.
The sister comes back with the credit card and melanie asks if there's anything left on it, and the sister says that her boss wanted to use it, not her.
i also had a vague recollection of walking somewhere, like a motorway.  It was very dark, and i had a feeling i had a long way to go.  I felt very alone emotionally, and very tired in the dream.
at this point i was having great trouble with a colleague, and i wasn't getting much help from other colleagues who knew what she was like!!

17/1/2005
In this dream it seems that i've committed some kind of crim, i am arrested and questioned.
Questioning room is like a police station.
It seems to be an altered world, like George Orwell's 'Big Brother'
I see a very old family friend, in my dream she looks very elderly.
I promise her i will talk to her, although i know i am committing a crime.
I get woken up, but manage to go back to sleep and get back into the dream. WILD?her husband has died in the dream.
Also Fran Healy, the lead singer of Travis, is now a resident in room 11 of my nursing home.  (right...okaay....)
in the second dream i am in a room.
Outside the room is two staircases, one going up to the left, one to the right.
the room on the right houses a prostitute.  The room on the left houses a sex therapist.  (as it would...)
I am talking to a man, he wants to see the lady in the room on the right, i offer to take him upstairs, but take him to the room on the left, to see the therapist.  She talks about mice...
problem in my psyche?

19/1/2005
I am staying at a woman's house.  She has cancer and is terminally ill.
i am given a sleeping bag to rest in.  The sleeping bag suddenly grows, swallowing me whole.  (venus fly trap)
I fall asleep.
I wake up the next morning, still zipped in the sleeping bag, and she says i can go home. 'if you can get out.'
I start scrabbling around for the zip.
Suddenly it flies open and i emerge sweaty and clammy.
Simultaneously i wake up, and find myself tangled in the bedclothes. ('kay, liz...)
looking at the last few in the sequence, it seems that my dreams have steadily become darker in material, and sometimes very alarming.  It gets worse.
In the second dream of the night i am back at work after having had a baby.
Graeme is on shift.
I am assisting a resident to the toilet, and he walks in and demands to know what's going on!
There's a lot of confusion, and he starts hitting me, beating me up, slapping me, and hitting me with a leather belt. he's a tall, strong man, so this was kinda scary. 6'3" and beating me up? uh oh...
He tells me i need to go away and research the role of Godfather.
I also get sent pictures of naked old men over the internet which i find abhorrent.
(see?)

29/1/2005
I go into the library, there's a young boy sat at the table doing homework.  He's about twelve, with fair hair and pale skin.
I find him physically attractive  ::shock::  , and he gives me his email.
Then i'm on top of a hill, looking down on a large housing estate, the sky is pink.
Also vague impression of graeme, of him laughing.  I feel happy about this last part, but then he makes me happy anyhow.
i have no idea why my dreams have gone so bizarre, as far as i recall, there was nothing too strenuous going on.

30/1/2005
i dream i've been to the pub, and i've drunk loads of baileys.  Firstly, i don't feel drunk, and secondly, when i get home and check my purse, the last fiver i had is still there!
(if only!)

31/1/2005
Feeling of foreboding and death, i felt uneasy, and kept trying to wake myself up.  Also felt trapped.
Jill morris has died.
she did a painting, that was released posthumously.
Also a false awakening.
as well as being bizarre, my dreams are steadily becoming more violent and macabre
[/i]

1/2/2005
In the first dream i am in an antique store, trying to steal a curtain?  June is there, arguing with her boss.  2 people come in looking for a yak? ( i think i mean 'kayak'), and the woman starts cleaning out the fish tank, we talk about keeping fish, and how mine never survive.
In the second dream i am doing my shopping, go home, and see a news report on the telly about an invasion of bed bugs, and i find hundreds of them in my bed, and they are bright blue.  I get rid of them with a dustpan and brush.
In the third dream i went to bed with mel gibson, and i went totally lucid for the first time!!  Now that was cool!

2/2/2005
I meet a young man and he takes me back to his house to meet his parents.
the house is a total tip, i am led into the kitchen, there are dirty dishes everywhere.  He makes me a cup of coffee in a dirty mug which i don't drink.
The father is sat in front of the television, oblivious to me, as is the mother.  I get the feeling she may be schizophrenic.  She's dirty and unwashed.
the sister is sprawled across the settee, chewing a wad of gum and twiddling her hair.
The grandmother is an old fashioned type of woman, with a big ball of wool, and knitting needles.  She's trying to get the daughter to knit, but the daughter tells her to f-off.
i woke bolt upright in the middle of the night with this one, and said, 'what the f--?!

3/2/2005
I'm in a bar singing karaoke, but i can't get the tune right, and nor can i remember the words!  V. embarrassing.
Looking back on this dream, i think my NVQ was stressing me out, and i am ever conscious of wanting to do well in my chosen career.  Sounds like an anxiety dream

4/2/2005
I'm in a new age shop, looking at incense, then i'm in the supermarket trying to help a woman choose spices, she's got nutmeg and marjoram, so i tell her to get some ginger.
Then i'm somewhere with my parents, it's a boiling hot day.
In the next part of the dream i am at work, and graeme is in the office with his back to me, doing paperwork.
I feel like i don't care about him anymore, and i feel like i'm looking for kevin.
Don't ask...cos i don't know!

5/2/2005
*this was a false awakening*
Graeme is outside of a glass door, carrying a heavy box.  I dart out of bed to let him in, realise i am dreaming, and wonder what the hell i am playing at.   ::shakehead2::  

6/2/2005
I am in a shop, and i buy turquoise eyeshadow, face powder, and mascara. I was having a 'spotty' week, and worrying about my skin!
I then go to the supermarket, and find that everything is reduced.
Then i'm in a large picnic garden, emily from church is there, a teacher comes to do aptitude tests.
We all sit down to eat, and the party begins to break up.
I find myself alone next to the swimming pool, and i am angry with kevin cos he hasn't turned up, suddenly he appears, and pushes me in!
then neither of us has any clothes on, and out of nowhere a bar of soap appears in his hands, and he starts washing me.
he gets very wound up, and wants to go further, but i remind him about his girlfriend, and the fact that i love someone else.
Also whilst i was in the garden my back was killing me, and when i woke up i was in agony!

7/2/2005
Am lying on a bed, above me is a slatted ceiling. Bellringers are above me, and i am uneasy, in case one of the bells comes down on my head.
Then i get called up to heaven by Wile E Coyote, wearing a red scarf. BEEP! BEEP!

8/2/2005
Very vague.  Am at nursing home.  There is a thunderstorm.  I am scared of something but i don't know what.  Graeme writes me a letter, begging to take me to the 'top of the world'  I tell him he can't.

9/2/2005
First off i'm at work, graeme's given kelly a bollocking regarding organisation of the shift.  Turns out she has another job in Kwik Save.
I go to do my shopping, and her boyfriend turns up, demanding to see her, and i tell him that wouldn't be a good idea right now.
kelly's father spots him, starts shouting and screaming, swearing he's going to kill him.
Richie grabs a knife (where from???) and chases after kelly's dad.  I get a hold of him and start struggling with him, i manage to get his arm behind his back, and i think about breaking it, i hear the wrist cracking, but then i lost lucidity.  I am angry and upset, crying.  I beg him to go home, but he won't listen.
kelly's father is angry, intent on murdering richie,  but then richie's father appears, intent on murdering kelly.
He picks up a box of Uncle Ben's rice, and i just know there's a gun in there. Kill bill?
Thankfully i wake up at this point.
Throughout the dream is a sense of fear and terror.  I found this one quite disturbing, it's yet another dream of impending murder.  Also very violent.
Looking back on it, the first part of the dream with kelly and graeme arguing actually happened, in that he spoke to her about her attitude to her work, so this was partly premonitory.

11/2/2005
Very vivid dream
I come home and go to bed.  I drop off to sleep and i am woken an hour later by the phone.
It's mum, from America.
'just checking to see if you were okay!'
'YOU RANG TO TELL ME THAT? GET OFF THE PHONE AND LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP!!'
Mum had commented that i wasn't contacting her as much, but that was only because i find it hard to talk to her, because i miss her all the more.  It could also be related to a situation at work.  Whenever i had a problem with someone, i'd usually discuss it with her, looking for wisdom!

12/2/2005
Woke in the middle of the night with temperature of 108f!!
i am on broad street, at the cash machine.  There is a man i see regularly in life up town, he intrigues me, and he appears in this dream.
He has a rodent like face, brown leather bag and a tweed jacket.
As i put my card in, he leans against the wall, so he'll see me put my PIN in.
I get nervous, and tell him to back off.  He does, a little.  I fail to enter PIN correctly.
I keep trying, but puzzles appear, deceptively simple, and i can't solve them.
I fail three times to enter my PIN correctly, and the machine tells me that my account cannot be accessed.
I ask him crossly how i get it reactivated, and he says i must go to the bank.
I storm off, and when i turn round, the landscape has changed, and i find myself in a sunny park, with children laughing and playing.  I find the terrain difficult to navigate, and i keep falling over.  There seems to be an outdoor shopping center, and i ask a man where i can find a bank.
he tells me there are no banks here, they don't need them.
I then go to checkout of shop, with my saver card, and i get accused of trying to buy someone else's shopping, and the lady at the till charges me a quid!

19/2/2005
I'm in the library at first, where graeme turns up, i am extremely pleased to see him, but become angry with him when he tells me he's going into work on his day off.  
I get to work and i'm told there's a fire.
However, no one is commencing evacuation, although the fire brigade has been called.  I can't see signs of fire, and i can't smell smoke, although i get the feeling it's upstairs.
No one is worried, in spite of being down to emergency lighting.
Graeme is painting a door frame, and sammy is in the kitchen making shepherds pie.

22/2/2005
Lots of images of a resident that died last night.
Hardly surprising, considering i laid her out.
Also driving in a car with daddy, stopping at a strange house for a cup of tea, mum is there, and i am v. pleased to see her!

25/2/2005
i'm at work with graeme and kelly.
Graeme and i are laughing and joking, kelly gets cross, and demands to know what's going on.
I get the feeling she thinks we're having an affair.

26/2/2005
Graeme, kelly and i are in the smoking shed.
kelly seems to have shrunk, so that she's sat next to him in the armchair, under his arm.  She looks very smug, almost feline.
He's talking to me, but i can't hear what he's saying.
I find i am jealous of kelly.
which is silly...

28/2/2005
I put a chicken in the oven for three hours, but it won't cook, no matter what i do. had roast chicken for dinner last night, cooked it for the required length of time, but it didn't seem right.  End of.
I then find myself ina large cornfield, in the field is a shuge crane.
Also with mum and dad, field is by a main road.
Animals are running across it, mainly ferrets.  A small ginger kitten appears, i manage to coax it off the road.  I sit with it on my lap, and dad tries to take pictures.  Mum comes over and snatches it away, accuses me of hiding it. my mother would never be so childish

1/3/2005
*False awakening* I dream that a resident is about to fall and have an accident, i dart across the room to try and catch her, and consider taking her into my bed because she'll be safer.  Everything disappears, and i realise its 2.11am and i'm dreaming. If only i could learn how to use this for lucidity, that seems to be my best way in

I then dream that i am in the library, and a fire starts in one of the bookcases.  My brother and i start filling buckets of water and try to put the fire out.  One problem.  There is no fire.  This is the second time i have had this kind of dream in less than a month, need to know what it means.
then he and i are walking by the Factory Shop, it's dark and i feel uneasy.  The road ahead begins to get narrow, and it turns into a railroad/motorway.  I have to keep dodging the traffice, and the trains scare me.
'since when did this lane open up to public transport?' i ask.  But i get no answer.
I then find myself with mum and dad in a mobile home, and mum is preparing dinner, but she gets out a large box of Frosties, saying that the price was good, but things keep going missing.
I complain to her about the price of cereal.

2/3/2005
Yet another dream of jealousy and conflict, the third one in a week.
Kelly and i are arguing over graeme, i'm not sure what the argument's about, but i know i am very angry with her.
yet again i feel i am getting nowhere.
This is the third dream of this nature in the last week, what the hell is going on?

3/3/2005
Mum has come back to England, and we are shopping in town, she buys a big amethyst bracelet in the new age shop that i like.
I then find myself standing outside work with daddy, and i can see the sky is changing.  I suddenly realise it's a tornado, and i ask daddy if we're meant to have them, and we all run inside.
The tornado comes down and rips a tree out by the roots.
Then i find myself in Draper's lane, about to check my bank balance.  I somehow get called away from the machine, and later realise that i've left my card in there!
I meet up with ben and gemma, two people i knew from college.  Ben asks me if i like jousting, and i tell him sword fighting is more my thing. i also get the feeling in the dream that he fancies me, he asked me out repeatedly in college, and i always said no, which i regret sometimes.
Also in the market a lady is trying to get me to buy a ring i can't afford.
I think the whole bank/money thing is to do with the fact that between us mum and i have just booked my trip to visit her in may, it's costing upwards of £700!!  So am counting the pennies.

5/3/2005
In this dream i heard singing.
it was Cher, and the Shoop Shoop song.
#if you wanna know/if he loves you so/it's in his kiss#
'kay...

6/3/2005
at work, a whole bunch of foreign staff, all new, graeme wants me to lead the lot of 'em!!
He's on shift, and its teatime.
A lady is dying, outside is the most gorgeous sunset i've ever seen.
i say to him, 'the sky is beautiful, isn't it.'
'yes' he says, but i know he's thinking of her.
The daughter appears, and i can see she's been crying.
graeme goes to the room, and i wait in the office.
he comes back.
'she's gone?' i ask
'yes, chin up liz.'
this did actually happen, a lady died, but his and my reaction to it were totally different to the dreamscape.
Also i was somewhere really strange, everything was technicolor, and graeme kept trying to burrow into the foundations of buildings with his mind.
it reminded me of the set of Bob the Builder.

7/3/2005
Am in Corn Square, trying to walk down School Lane, but it turns into a tunnel.  Weird imagery, a cross between the matrix, and green mile.  It happens twice, i know it's odd, but can't go lucid on it.  Then i'm at work, and this woman comes up to me and says, 'you want to climb everest right? first you must become a consummate walker.'

9/3/2005
Dreaming about funeral arrangements, i ask graeme if he's going, he says yes, and leans against me, i feel safe.this is to do with the emotional support he is giving me just now, i am having a tough time.  I miss my folks, and someone i was very close to has just died.  The fact that she was 92 makes not a blind bit of difference to me, she might as well have been my granny.
Also Alice wants to go back to london to have the baby, but she wants to cycle nine months pregnant from wales?

10/3/2005
I am with mum, dad and peter in a very strange house, i have to keep disconnecting these turquoise telephones. perfect dream sign, how did i miss that one eh?
Mum is reading a book on ancient egypt.
then i'm with graeme, he has his arms around me, and there's a tenstion between us, but the dreamscape shifts damn and i'm in the shed with roger, he's dyed his hair and beard, and i don't like it.
graeme walks in with no shirt on, and i want to reach out and touch him what was with my head last night?
Norma comes in, and complains about her grandson's shoes being too small.  In the dream i don't like her.
graeme seems hacked off with her.
'go and buy some new ones then!!'
'i can't.  You've given me no money' she replies.
hey, i know the dynamics of marriage can be wierd, but he's not archaic!!  The epitome of 'modern love' i would say.

11/3/2005
Freddie Mercury comes in and gives a concert in Room 19, knowing it will be his last.  I know there was much more to this dream, but can't remember it.

12/3/2005
I'm walking home from work, when i get set upon by this young lad, and he tries to steal my cd player.
I'm cross, because it has my 'Waterboys' cd in it.  It is late afternoon, and the sun is going down.
On the wall next to me is a list of names, with marks beside them.  According to the girls leaning against the wall, it's a record of all the district nurses that have lived in my town, but they say that claire and sarah aren't on there.
Then a crowd of us are waiting for a bus that never arrives, it gets dark, and i begin to get worried that mum will wonder where i am.
Then i find that i'm trying to look up infectious diseases, but the internet keeps crashing.
Dreamscape shifts, and i'm in a bar, this really old drunk guy is trying to chat me up and buy me a drink.
graeme appears out of the toilet.  I find i am desperate for him   ::shock::  ELISABETH!!  tut tut...but he doesn't see me.
now that should have been a clue, cos i've never yet met graeme in a pub, or taken him for a drink, much as i would love to.

15/3/2005
I keep phoning Kevin for a chat, but its never him who picks up, and i start worrying about the phone bill.think this bit could be to do with the fact that he used to call me once a week, sometimes more often, and now i don't hear from him at all.
then i want something off the net, but instead of downloading it, i make a wormhole in my back yard.  I consider jumping into it, thinking it might take me to kevin. bit bizarre that...
i had a second dream this night.
a lady dressed as a clown, daddy leaving peter and i outside a curry house in what seems to be America.
then i'm in an old building, there are police all over the place investigating a suspected murder, i am in a room full of horror novels, mostly by stephen king.the America dreams have started...

16/3/2005
weird, and slightly vague dream of being at west eaton with kelly on a boiling hot summer's day.  Norma turns up, and her hair is black, not red.  I feel jealous.
also, lots of children come to play.  I also remember playing a card game with an old man, and a young boy.  It felt like the old yellow pages adverts for 'J R Hartley' and the cards weren't regular cards, but like tarot cards, and the game was unlike anything i'd ever heard of, and difficult to get the hang of.

17/3/2005
I begin by running through the grounds of the priory, and as i leave the grounds, i find myself on a beautiful beach, i think it's florida.  It's early morning, and i'm running on the sand, and i feel very free and happy.  i feel like i could run forever, i consider letting my feet leave the ground, but decide against it. I think i must be on the way to lucidity if i can consider such a thing, but i think i keep losing it.

23/3/2005
totally weird, crazy dream of trying to seat a resident on a commode.  Three times he falls off it, in the end, my colleague and i give up, shrink him down to baby size, and try to wrap him in the Daily Telegraph!!  ::roll::  
I go to leave the room, and find myself faced with mum, dad, graeme and susannah.  Susannah thinks we have a conspiracy against her, by not allowing her to marry.

now, when i left the room, and ran into those people, my brain went, 'uh?', i literally felt it shift gear!!  I knew i was dreaming, but did nothing about it.

24/3/2005
Walking round town in the rain, and my umbrella keeps busting.  I give up outside Preedy's, and the alarm goes off.  The shop keepers are talking to each other, and wondering why i need an alarm clock.  'so she can go to work!!' one of them yells.
I wake up and realise that yes, i do have to go to work.
yet again i became aware that i was dreaming, my alarm clock is not in Preedy's, and the shopkeepers don't know me...I am sooo nearly there...

31/3/2005
Lucidity at last!!
I am talking to graeme about a work situation, that has been bothering us in life, so i think it seeped into my subconcious...anyway, graeme is sitting in my big comfy chair by my desk, and i am lying on the bed.  At this point, i am aware that i am dreaming.
he talks about the situation, and repeats a statement that he made to me the day before, in real life.
he then picks up my mobile phone, and turns it off...I've lost my mobile, and graeme has never been in my house...
'what did you do that for?' i ask him, but i know it's so we won't be disturbed... :wink2: 
i look at him, study him, the way he is, everything about him, and i know i want him, and that i can go to him, and that my thoughts are my own.  i realise i have complete control...
i lean over to him, and rest my head on his shoulder.  he sighs happily.
i stay there for a minute, just being there, loving the way he smells, and enjoying my lucidity, and the clarity of my senses.
I begin kissing the inside of his upper arm, just above the point where elbow and forearm meet, where doctors draw blood, and his skin is fair and pale, untouched by the sun...
i can feel him relaxing, and i can feel myself wanting to go further, but taking it easy, and then he begs me to stop, saying, 'oh god, liz, please don't!'
at which point i lost it...
damn...
point to note:  if that happens again, i need to remind him that it's a dream, and what's to stop us doing what we like?


2/4/2005
At first, i am at work, and i have to go on my tea break.
then i find myself outside in the dark, and its pouring with rain.
i try to make my way to a cottage that i know of, but i can't find it.  I hear my father shouting and he wants to know whats going on, i tell him about the cottage and he says i was right next to it.
i am soaked through, so i go into a gypsy caravan to get changed, and put on a clean sundress.  i want to sit down, but everything is covered in mud.
one of the members of the gypsy camp is a young girl with red hair, and someone is playing 'maria' from west side story on a violin.

3/4/2005
An odd dream: i am playing with a childs toy, it's a plastic maze with a ball in it, and you have to navigate the ball round it.
i find it difficult, and frustrating, and am frustrated by the lack of space.
i think this is symbolic of me beginning to feel claustrophobic at work...

5/4/2005
I dreamed that the world was ending, and i was trying to save all the babies, knowing that they were necessary to the continuation of life.
whilst holding a particularly heavy six month old baby in my arms, i become aware that i am dreaming, but can do nothing about it.
Also mum and dad are arguing because dad is drunk again...  ::undecided::  
i go to sit a two hour maths exam and finish it in forty minutes, my nvq assessor is the examiner, and the exam is at west eaton.
We talk about the pope lying in state, and how horrible it is to have a dead body on show...
i saw a bit of that on the news the other day, it turned my stomach...i've had to deal with a lot of death lately, and i don't need to see any more...

6/4/2005
An inspector comes to west eaton, everything is as it should be, but she's still not happy.  she makes me nervous.
then graeme comes to me and informs me that the temperature of the fridge in the kitchen is too high.
Next thing i know, it's early evening, kelly and i are going to walk home, but she decides to take a lift with him, and she asks if i'm coming, and i say yes, thinking he's agreed.  he hasn't, and gets really angry, but at her, not a me.
i'm upset by this, and tell him not to worry, i'll walk.  kelly doesn't. no change there then
i get to Pinsley road and find myself blocked by BT telephone works.  The men are leering at me, and they make me afraid.
okay, now why the resurgence of the whole 'frustration/inadequacy' theme?  am i still not good enough...?  :Sad:  

9/4/2004
lucid
i'm walking back from the vets with graeme, he and i are whistling the same tune.
kelly is on my left, graeme on my right.
we come to cross the road, and he holds out his arm, like a gentleman for me to take, to guide me across the road.
i rest my fingers lightly on his arm, and then slide them down to find his hand.  at this point i become nervous, because he wants to cross the road before the lights have changed, and i can feel kelly watching me, even though i am looking directly ahead.
'this is unreal' i think.
i concentrate on graeme holding my fingertips, and how comforting that feels, and decide that kelly doesn't need to be there anymore, so i concentrate on her disappearing.
which she does.  by the time i've crossed the street with him, she's gone...as she begins to fade, he rests his hand flat against mine, and slowly locks my fingers through his, in a tight grip.
i feel very happy, that he's there, and i've managed to make someone disappear.  As a result of this, i lose my lucidity.

11/4/2005
i go to an american diner with mum and dad. related to impending america trip
Then i'm walking along etnam street, towards the local college, which runs midnight masses and religious courses for teenage mums that have fallen by the wayside.
The priest is called Rex.
Then i'm at west eaton, and i've forgotten to fax WS, and some kids are playing in the carpark, and asking me if i live there....what's with West Eaton and children???

12/4/2005
I'm in a pub listening to strange music, and talking to two girls about skincare regimes.

I then find myself in some kind of 'camp' and a lady gives my mother a sapphire and pearl ring, the sapphires are very light, and i think of the colour of graeme's eyes...uh?  
In my tent, an old man in his sixties is trying to convince me to sleep with him.  My uncle and my gran are there.
Throughout this dream is a feeling of being threatened.  Also my uncle forgets to disconnect his games console and has broken a picture, which makes mum angry.

Graeme has a go at me for not leading Rani effectively, when i know she has an exam coming up, and i tell him that the problem isn't rani, but dani who doesn't follow instructions.
that's three for me...brain was busy last night...in retrospect, we recently had a shift where a lot of leadership and pulling together was required, but it worked!


coming back after a long break in dreaming

19/4/2005
I have arrived in America with Dad, and he says i need to have £130 in the bank, i've only got £120.  Apparently it's for clothes shopping.

21/4/2004
Mum comes back to England from America for my birthday.
It's a boiling hot day, and birthday is held at a stately home.
My auntie gives me a half eternity ring, to replace the one i lost.
I'm also at work as well.
Graeme and i are on our break, and we are both very tired.  We talk about freedom from work by going driving and long walks.
i tell him i could go to sleep in the chair i am sat in.
I shut my eyes temporarily.
when i open them again, i find i have shifted over, so that i am almost lying in his arms.
Michael howard wins the general election, and there are fireworks in Corn Square.
Kelly, Nicky and i are on a train platform.
A man collapses, takes a blow to the head.  There is a lot of blood but we do nothing.
Nicky says he was probably a drunk.
the driver of the train is driving asleep, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

22/4/2005
An old lady is sprawled on her back across an armchair, in the lounge of the nursing home, her eyes are wide open and she's not moving.  she's obviously dead.
graeme comes to have a look at her, and says she's been doped.
'what with?' i ask.
'benzodiazepines'
this dream was very alarming, so much so that i've posted it up for interpretation.  why am i dreaming about dead people?

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## Mystical_Journey

I realise why people dont read your dreams irishcream....

"Posted: *Tue Feb 22, 2005 11:13 am*  Post subject: My Dream Journal"

you re-edit your original post and enter your dreams in the same message (cool idea though) so people wont be able to see your messages (new journal entry) unless they search for journals dating back to Feb. If you post a 'new topic' within your journal it will show up in latest journals.....

Look forward to reading your posts.

Circus of Surealism ).

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## Amethyst Star

Good advice, Mystical Journey.  I was thinking the same thing.  It really does make updates easier to find.  Anyway....





> 10/1/2005 
> I'm lying on a bed, and it's 'that time of the month'. I am also standing next to the bed, looking down on myself, putting a tampon into the 'me' on the bed, and i'm instructing myself! 
> everything seems fine, then when i stand up it's in the back of my throat! 
> at this point, 'the other me' has disappeared. 
> I am not alarmed by this, i put my finger down the back of my throat and push it back down again. [/b]



That's kind of scary.   When I was younger I constructed a character in my mind (because I was privately psycho at the time) that was similar to that.  It's just really strange to hear something like that.

[quote]I get woken up, but manage to go back to sleep and get back into the dream. WILD?

Actually, that sounds more like dream re-entry.  I've done that in the past, before I even knew about LDing and found it worked pretty well.  There's a tutorial on it if you want to check that out, but it's different from what I used to do.

That's all I have to comment on right now.

-Amé  ::imslow::

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## irishcream

hey guys, thanks for your comments, and i will look into the new entry post thingy, so that people can read my journal.  Duh...
I was writing it like a diary, so i didn't confuse myself...

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## irishcream

*I forgot to write this one in!!*

Kelly and I are in the Shed...Graeme comes over in a temper. Its 2pm in the dream...
I ask him what the matter is, and he tells me that a resident has just asked him to put her to bed.
i told him he should be expected to be asked that by this person, and it shouldn't wind him up...
this came after he learned that supermarket queues make me really angry, and he told me i should just accept them as part of life...pot calling kettle black love...

This dream came when i went for a mid-afternoon nap, cos i was oh-so-tired... 

I find myself in a swish restaurant, surrounded by lots of 'nouveau riche' people. I'm dressed in my finery and i can't stand it, because it's an image that goes against everything i am in real life. 
I find myself getting angry with the people, until graeme walks in, dressed as casually as ever, and then i feel better, knowing i have someone who is on my social level. 
Then i find myself on the phone downstairs, firstly talking to someone in a welsh accent, and then i abruptly switch to a newcastle one. 

I called this 'Love in the Afternoon' simply because the sensation of dreaming was so much different to the one i have at night, and it made me think that must be what it's like when you decide to go to bed with someone in the afternoon, instead of bog-standard night time. I also found it easier to get into the dreamscape, and i was also partially aware of my surroundings, in spite of my dreaming. I'd try it again, but the only drawback is that i didn't sleep well last night...I think i could also go lucid this way...

----------


## irishcream

Graeme drops me off at a maths exam, which i fail that has to be the fastest exam result ever!
I then get a lift home with melanie, loud dance music is playing in the car, but i can't now remember what it was.I seem to remember concentrating on the tune very hard and thinking that i needed to remember it when i woke up, but it didn't work...
I am outside my house, and a car comes speeding up the street in the pouring rain, another car tries to overtake, and the first car nearly crashes into a sweetshop, which i can see from my house in the dream (but not in real life; perspective is a good dreamsign...)
I realise that the first car is Graeme's, and i realise that he might be in it, which is quite scary.  However, the driver of Graeme's car is my father, who is also blind drunk.  ::angry::  
I am angry in the dream, for two reasons.  One, that my father is driving drunk, and two, that I like Graeme's car in real life, and if anything happened to it, i'd be pretty mad!
Dad has to go to court, and i don't find out the result...

I have a second dream, in which i am talking largely to my mother, but my brother is there too.
She says that i should carry on with my writing, and that schools are crying out for fiction.  I tell her that it's very hard to get published, and she says that's only if you're writing a murder novel, and i tell her mine is teenage fiction, and she says that shouldn't be a problem...
My brother is taking Benylin for a chesty cough...  ::shakehead2::  
I was actually writing a story, it's on my hard drive on my pc, but i find i've got a bit of writer's block, and lack of time at the moment.  I also need to do some serious research into biological incest...

----------


## irishcream

At first i am in Brecon, in a forest.  I am very high up, but i can't see the view, because it's too misty.  The mist feels a bit suffocating, and i can feel it settling on my skin, and in my hair.  Nevertheless, i feel very free, and happy, and safe.
Then I'm back at West Eaton and someone dies, but i can't remember who probably just as well, i found out yesterday that i'd lost another of my 'originals'; i am fed up of death...
Then i try to change jobs, to go and work in another nursing home sorry, but i'm wedded to the place i'm in, no way am i leaving...  I go to fill in an application form, and then i have to go through 'scientific' tests as part of the interview.
The test that i can remember had something to do with rain water...i was led outside to a conservatory type thing, where there was plastic roofing with rainwater on it....the leader of the experiment reaches up and taps the roof, sending the drops showering down over me...
I find this very exhilarating...
uh?

----------


## irishcream

I am in a Zoo, and i am standing on the Tiger Enclosure, walking along the top of the cage.  I think that i shouldn't be doing it, in case i fell in, and i imagine the headline.  'woman loses foot to tiger'
Totally odd dream...

----------


## irishcream

i am with one of my residents, suffering from a migraine...I'd woken up not long before this with one, so that might have had something to do with it... and dad has gone up town to find me an ice pack for my head.  I remember the colour red, very clearly.
I had a second dream:
Mum and dad have come home.  Mum has gone out, and dad is on the pc, reading my journal!!
very frightening, and vivid dream.
He's editing it, and saying that i should get it published, a page at a time.  It would be cheaper that way, apparently.

----------


## irishcream

I find myself in a churchyard, standing next to a church. I realise that the church is not the one i live near in real life, and i become slightly uneasy. 
It is a very grey and gloomy day, the atmosphere is quite dull. I walk amongst some tombstones, and i come to an archway in a more secluded area of the graveyard. I stand looking at the arch, not wanting to go into this new area, but feeling compelled to do so. 
Once i go through the arch, i start looking at the headstones, and realise i am looking for a particular person that has passed on, that i knew in real life. I find the headstone i am looking for, and read the person's name and their time of passing. 
There are bunches of flowers around the tomb, but all the messages of condolence on the cards are smudged because it has been raining. 
I have sandals on my feet, and my feet are wet from walking in the grass. I also feel very cold. 
I continue to feel apprehensive of something, and i feel a prescence away off to my right hand side, just behind my shoulder, but it doesn't make itself known to me. However, i don't feel comfortable with it. 

I feel that there is some kind of symbolism here, what with the churchyard and the tombstones, and the general feeling in the dream of apprehension. Also the disturbing prescence of something that could have been malevolent.

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## irishcream

*3/5/2005*[/u]

I'm at work, and its a boiling summer's day.  I am talking to Alison and Graeme.  that's a bit weird, considering as Alison left the company nearly a year ago. She says that the new assistant that Graeme has given her is hopeless.
Lulu is back, and Graeme asks me if i have told her about people dying and i say yes, but i feel guilty about it. why, when i was telling the truth, and she is a member of staff?
Alison begins telling me of the time when she had to put an IV into a dead woman.
Sue turns up, and she has been moving house.

*A second dream*
My mother, myself, and my brother are all celebrating our birthdays on the same day.  Dad has baked mum a huge cake with icing on it.
I am in a large hall.  All the presents are wrapped in plain paper.
Nanny pat is there, she is reading a letter from dad to mum, i can't see it, but i know what it says.
I feel angry that she is delving into my parent's private correspondence.

----------


## irishcream

*6/5/05*

A dream of distant thunder.  No lightening, just a rumble off in the distance somewhere...yet again i find myself feeling uneasy, afraid, and desolate.  it's raining again.  I am standing on a bridge, over a river.  The water is fast running over a rapid, and this makes me afraid.

this is the second dream of this nature that i have had in less than a week.  It's also the second ever dream i remember being in monochrome.  Yet again i woke up feeling totally desolate, alone, and miserable.

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## irishcream

*8/5/05*[/u] (right before i go away to America...)

Grand Theft Auto

This dream was in the third person view..I am watching this bloke racing round my home town in a car, trashing it, mowing people down, with legions of cops on his tail...
A woman in a spangly blue suit appears...(similar to a circus performer...don't know how she got in there...)



Makin' your mind up...

This was a second dream i had:
I've gone to the fair.  i fall for this girl, she says she loves me, and i feel very happy.  She then takes this liquid from a crystal phial.  I think it might be poison, but i can't be sure...
I'm upset, i feel i've been lied to.  I tell her she needs to make her mind up, and stop wasting my time...
I do get very angry with indecisive people that waste my time...but i'm as straight as a die...

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## irishcream

*All these dreams took place while i was on holiday in America.*

14th May 2005
I'm at work, in the office, discussing the treatment of a client with graeme.  I can't seem to work out what i should do.  Graeme gets very angry and yells: 'for goodness sake liz, just make a decision.  You know what you need to do, so do it!'
This had nothing to do with work itself, more a career decision that i've made deep down, but i'm a little worried about a less than favourable reaction.

16th May 2005
Weird dream...i don't remember much, except that i'm with Graeme, and we are very close.
He looks me right in the eyes and says, 'you'll never be wrong in my eyes liz, mine or anyone else's...'
This was a very tender dream...and i think it's an echo of the one above, that i have made the right decision about what is basically the rest of my life.

18th May 2005
Back at work, in the office with Graeme and Kelly.
I'm sat on a chair, and Graeme walks up to me, puts his arm around my waist, and lifts me off this chair, and to his side, so that he is holding me very close.  I do the same, except i put my hand up the back of his shirt don't ask me why i did that...
he tells me how much he's missed me, and how glad he is to have me back.  Kelly gives me a dirty look.
this was a pleasant dream, i woke up, and held onto the images for a long time.  I seemed to have dreamed of home quite a lot.  Was i missing it more than i realised?

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## irishcream

22/5/2005
I find myself staying at a large manor house, and it's in England.  There are four of them apparently, and ours is the largest.  My dad is the Groundskeeper, and he tells me i musn't tell anyone that ours is the biggest or the other landowners will get jealous.
One of the men from another house comes over and begins talking to me, dad says i shouldn't be talking to other members of other households.
Also when i go upstairs to one of the rooms, mum is in bed, but the room is like room 19 in West Eaton.  I go to wake her up, and she says, 'not now Elisabeth' and i look at my watch only to find that it's seven am, whereas previously outside it was late afternoon!!
I go downstairs and find Graeme has appeared, and i tell him that i tried to wake mum, but that she sent me out with a flea in my ear...he just looks at me as if to say, 'i told you so!'
this was a really wierd dream, i don't know if jetlag had anything to do with it, all i know is i slept twelve and a half hours non stop!

a second dream i had
I am back in Florida, trying to sleep, but i can't.  Instead of us sleeping in our rooms, it looks like some kind of science facility, we are all sleeping round what appears to be a central, circular island, with our feet pointing towards this.
Everything around us is white, and we are dressed in white also.  i am the only one awake.
I feel like i'm part of some kind of experiment.
I think i could have gone lucid here, being as i woke up, but wasn't quite awake.  I knew i was in my room, but i was still partly in the dream.

----------


## irishcream

Last night i had this really weird dream...i don't remember much about it, except that one of my Archetypes appeared, but not in the usual form. My most common Archetype is the wise old man, who usually appears in the guise of a man i know pretty well. Except last night he appeared as a white horse. A stallion, not a gelding. Don't ask me how i know that, i just do. 
I was in a stable, feeding him hay, and trying to comb his mane out. Somehow, i knew it was my wise old man. I felt no fear, i simply asked him 'it is you isn't it?' And this horse shook his head, and whinnied softly into my hand. 
I was just wondering. Can Archetypes change form?? And in my case, i listen to my Wise Old Man, so i don't think it's a case of him changing to make me pay attention! 
Also my parrot was in my dream, i was trying to walk past his cage, but he kept trying to nip me with his beak, and someone in the dream said, 'liz, he's not going to let you by till you pay attention.' 
So i stopped in front of his cage, and using his wings, my parrot forced his way between the bars of his cage, coming to sit on my shoulder and nibble my ear. 

this dream really bugged me, hence why i posted it in interpretation, and i don't do that often!!  I'm going to put what i feel to be the most logical interpretation below.


Actually The Horse Archetype is a separate Archetype. Your recognition of The Horse as the Wise Old Man was perhaps wrong as a specific particular, but only as far as language is concerned... you DID recognize The Horse as integral to your Spiritual Path, just as the Wise Old Man is a part of your Higher Dynamics. 

You are going to have to ride this Horse. Years ago I had a complete Dream Series with the Dream Horse. I started in a large field where there was a County Fair going on and one of the attractions was "Ride the Wild Stallion". People were lined up. This large spiritued White Horse was throwing people into the air and then returning to the line to throw somemore people. I honestly could not see what people saw in such treatment, but I was lined up also. Perhaps it was a Dare. Anyway, my turn came and I knew enough about riding to keep my knees flexed and match the rise and fall of the gallop with the flexing of my legs. The Horse noticed and appreciated my effort to ride upon him correctly. So off we went for a good gallop. He stopped at a sandwiche shop and asked me to get a ham sandwidch. The Old Lady looked slow and I was concerned, but both the Horse and the Old Lady told me that though the Horse was Willful and Powerful, it could be patient and I had no need to worry. when the sandwiche was ready, the horse asked me to share it with him. 

Then the dream broke away to my father smoking a pipe in an armchair, ready to be philosophical and insightful... something of a Dream Archetype itself. He told me that to ride the Horse one must understand the Horse and to understand the Horse one had to know its true essence. And what is that? THE HORSE IS REALLY A PIG. 

To understand the Horse, you must realize it is essentially just a big pig with a saddle. 

So what is the Horse Archetype. The Horse is your Will. The Horse is the Motive Power you must use in your Life to arrive at your Spiritual Goal. It sounds like you have a good one. But you need to saddle it, and ride it. 

I had a series of dreams of my Horse. Finally I was able to ride him with great precision and discipline. Later ... years later... the Horse was still with me, but rolling in clover and getting fat while I soaked my feet in a pretty little pond in a glade. The Wise Old Man told us to get moving.... and so I started writing on line. 



so, i have to master my will it seems...i have a feeling that could take a while  :wink2:  being as i'm so stubborn.  I think i must have the strongest will of anyone i know...i can resist most temptations it would seem, even when it's right under my nose.  Well, not so long ago i was complaining that my archetypes weren't giving me a challenge, guess i've got one now!!  Talk about chucking me in at the deep end...story of my life that...never doing anything by halves.  Definitely on my way though.

----------


## irishcream

27/5/05
In America, staying on a farm.  There are Amish people.

We have Borzois.
For some reason, mum has wedding photos of her first husband, and i take them down and replace them with something else.
It turns out it's my birthday, and mum complains that i never buy her anything.

28/5/05
I am in a coastal town, doing some research.  A large earth tremor occurs, leaving the whole landscape changed.  There is a tidal wave, and the sea changes course.  The only people to survive it are my father, myself and my brother.
It begins to rain unceasingly, in spite of a baking heat, which makes my brother angry, because it will spoil his crops.

31/5/05
I'm wanting to go to a movie with mum, but we miss the last bus.
I then find myself in a classroom, on what appears to be a creative writing course.  One of the members is taken out, because she has fallen asleep.

2/6/05
I am in a college campus, it's gothic and spooky.  A young man keeps following me, and i keep running away.  However, no matter what route i take, he always catches up with me, saying he only wants to talk to me, and i should at least give him that.
In spite of my running away, i find in the dream that i want to talk to him very much.

3/6/05
I'm in town.  I go into Zenith, and give my Dream Journal to one of the shopkeepers to read, she thinks it's hilarious.
I then find myself back at school, telling a girl that i'm going to cut my hair. (?)
She tells me she's having an affair with Mr Davies, who teaches science classes in the nude.
I give him my Dream Journal, wanting to know what he thinks.
Mum tells me off for not booking my holiday, and asks if i want to go to a dogshow.  I decline.

Now, this night i was trying to have a lucid dream, in which i met someone in town, in a coffee shop, as a precursor to possible dream sharing.  When i was running around town, with my Dream Journal, somewhere in the back of my mind i was certain that i was supposed to be looking for something!  Aim:  to remember what i came for!

6/6/05
I am in a large room, waiting for Graeme to turn up to a meeting on World Poverty, to which he never arrives.  Then i'm at West Eaton over in the shed with him, i want to go over to the house, but i can't.
Graeme has read my story, and says i don't introduce my characters effectively.
Dad drives me home in a large van, we park it in a garage.
Turns out he still has the key to the old car.
In Room 21, i make a bed, get called away, and it's unfinished, resident complains.

must mind i don't let myself get distracted...

I agree to meet Kelly, but i go to the wrong place. 
we often walk to work, but we had changed our meeting point the night before, i think i was worried i'd forget...
Kelly says something to me about communicating with foreigners, i tell her she should stop talking through her teeth...she does do that sometimes, when she doesn't want to be overheard.  Bugs the hell out of me...also noticed that this night, my recall was through the roof...very vivid images, and i found it all very easy to remember the next morning.


7/6/05
Leaving America.  I find that i get on the coach, and realise i've forgotten my suitcase!  so i go back for it.
I'm then at a train station with mum and dad, but can't find my ticket.  Also in front of me is the biggest Keva machine i've ever seen, but i have no money.
I recieve a text from robin hang on, totally impossible, he doesn't have my number! duh! saying 'Eat up, sleep down'
In the next scene, i can't see too well through my glasses, so i clean them with Windolene?
Afterward, everything seems clearer and brighter...
in spite of the 'confused clarity' of my recent emotions.
Dad is messing about with a gameshow, it has a dragon in it.
yet again my recall was fantastic.

8/6/05
I'm walking along Bridge Street, to my house, when three lad set upon me.  I can't remember why they beat me up.  I know i made it to the house, and was very, very scared.
I then find myself in the post office weird, i've never been there in my dreams and graeme comes in and is very angry about something, but i don't find out what.
Then i'm on the chat here on DV, and James is warning me to be careful of people on the internet.

----------


## irishcream

11/6/05
I'm with graeme and a resident.  I nearly managed a WILD at this point, but something distracted me.
Also vague remembrance of buying duct tape??
Apart from the near WILD images, not much was clear.  Hopefully i'll do better tonight


aim: FOCUS!

12/6/05
Middle toilet, West Eaton.  I'm working with a girl, she gets funny and calls me a 'black bitch', i slap her, telling her she must be colour blind
Graeme hears the shouting, and breaks the fight up, i tell him she was being rascist.
On the wall are notices for basketball tryouts.
i remember looking at these, and thinking they shouldn't be there, i tried to concentrate on them in order for WILD being as i'd woken at around six am, but i was very tired and went back to sleep!

second dream
In America, peter wants to go on an excursion, but we all say no, cos it's my last day.
The plumbing in the house is broke, after Tim tried to fix it.

----------


## irishcream

13/6/05
I'm in Florida.  It's so hot a small fire starts.  I pour water on it, making it worse...(I think it must have been kerosene!)
Somehow, it gets put out.  I also remember lizards...
I then find myself at West Eaton.  A resident has died and Sue is saying that no one understands how she feels.  Two new nurses have started there, and i have to sleep in the same bed with them, with a box of cadbury's Roses between us...  ::shock::  
Kelly and i both take an exam in Pathology, which i pass with a result of 91%, and kelly fails.

14/6/04
I'm running an illegal orphanage, taking babies off the street and selling them. This felt like something out of Charles Dickens...
In the next dream, i've gone to watch a performance by annie lennox.  She goes to get on stage, and the stage managers find that a dog has peed on it.  After the concert, someone managed to steal the basque that she was wearing, and posted it on DV saying that was the highlight of the whole show.

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## irishcream

18/6/2005
I'm in America, Mum is going away for a week and is worrying that daddy won't cope on his own.  She's left chicken casserole in the oven.  In the dream, she's dressed really nicely, and is wearing Chanel perfume...
she always looks her best before she goes anywhere, even if it's only to the supermarket...and i love it when she wears Chanel, it's her scent...

A second dream
I'm working in a Nursing Home.  Not West Eaton and Dot Branning from Eastenders is trying to get in, saying that she wants to visit her mother's mother!
In the dream, i realised this was impossible, but did nothing about it, again!
PAY ATTENTION!!  Attention to detail, as my mother would say...  ::roll::  

20/6/05
Mum has come back from America for a visit, says she will be back in the following march for Crufts.  I'm living in room 26 of the nursing home.
Dad has found somewhere he can get lightbulbs for free... :tongue2: 
my gran and my brother are there too...
I find myself in London, needing to catch a coach.  However, i nearly miss it, on account of a) not being able to find my ticket, which says to be careful with the lemonade, and B) realising i've left my bag in a sweetshop.  I go back for it, and stop to buy chocolate brazils, biscuits and chocolate raisins...i was going to buy gobstoppers...I go to the till and the man is trying to show a magic trick to a girl, i hear the last bell go for the coach, so i give up with the sweets and leave them on the counter.  The man in the sweetshop was Leonard Rossiter, of Rising Damp...

Also when looking at my coach ticket, i see that one other coach is showing nothing but X rated movies...
This dream was very vivid, but also extremely irritating, in the fact that when i found myself in London, i knew i was dreaming, and couldn't seem to do anything about it...again.  it's like some kind of dream impotency...

20/6/05
Dream one: I'm at a swimming pool, it's largely empty.  A woman is doing exercises with some kind of rubber float and when she's done, she curls up in it and falls asleep.
Mum almost leaves without me...

Dream Two:  I'm on the Im, talking to an old schoolteacher.  Now i'm older, he's taken a shine to me.  At one point, i meet him and he has to climb a flight of stairs.  Then i'm too tired to talk, and want to go to sleep...
I find some background information on him, and it says he was in the navy, and the secret to his success was a loving relationship and his children...
Now, this second dream really freaked me out...I haven't seen this guy since i left school, nor would i want to...i last saw him when i was seventeen, and i was a 'young' seventeen...if he met me now, he wouldn't recognise me...i thought briefly about tracing him, but have decided against it.  let sleeping dogs lie...it was just amazing that he's still buried back there in my subconscious...

21/6/2005
I've woken up prior to the dream i'm about to describe below...so i knew damn fine i was dreaming!
I'm in the supermarket, doing my shopping, trying to buy crumpets and washing powder.  Now, why would i be doing that at around six am??  come on dammit, pay attention!!!!

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## irishcream

23/6/2005

FOR GOODNESS' SAKE WOMAN!!  :Mad:  BLOODY PAY ATTENTION!
Okay, so last night I missed an absolutely blindingly obvious dreamsign.
I find myself back in America yet again.  Mum is getting ready for another trip, leaving peter and daddy behind.  It seems to take hours for her to get ready.
My brother shows me a very unusual sweet jar, which has this stamped into the bottom: 'Open for lucidity'
Man, am I a silly cow or what?
It was in the shape of a beehive, and had pecan nuts in it....
Lots of strange shops open, and i keep walking into them, but buying nothing.

A second dream i had:
I find myself out the front of work, with daddy.  Watching the wildlife.
A strange bird appears, i ask him what it is, he says it's a 'Whister'...'A Whister?' i ask, feeling weird...
'Yes, a Whister.
Also a dream of another dream that i had a long time ago, in which i progressed from being a guard on the door of a pub, to being a barmaid, all in one night.  After which a gang of lads chased me home.  I hate it when i do this, and i CANNOT believe i missed such an obvious dreamsign.

----------


## irishcream

27/6/2005

I'm watching a news report, a woman is flying a high speed jet, she's in outer space but quickly comes to earth.  When she lands the jet becomes a tank.
I learn that she's a 'Fratillary' and her clothes show that she is responsible for supplies and medicine.  She tells her mother not to worry.
Then i'm at the airport with her, and she says she's going to turkey, saying that once she crosses the border she can't come back.  I believe her, until i see a bunch of Turkish women coming out of a lift with veils over their mouths...
Then i find we're holding a bric a brac sale in the departure lounge of the airport.  One woman i notice has pink diamonds on her fingers.  A little girl is trying to look after a black labrador, but she's a spoiled brat.
We also sing happy birthday to my brother, who is the other side of a barrier.
After the sale is done, i find someone has ruined my Linda Thompson CD, by scratching the word 'Dad' into it, with a compass.  I suspect the little girl...
Someone asks my dad if he likes her, and he says 'No, Lesley does, it's pure enough but essentially crap.'
I think about Loreena McKennit, and tell him that it's better than listening to a thumping bassline.
I want to get another, but i can't.

Dreamsigns:  Odd words, airport, my parents, the army, 'opposite situations' as in the case where the woman said she couldn't go back, and then the Turkish people came out of the lift...Also people i know in real life taking different names in the dreamscape. (cue to go, that's not her name, i'm dreaming!)  My dad was talking about 'Lesley' but i know he meant someone else that i know in real life, whom he doesn't know.

----------


## irishcream

28/6/05

Lots of weird images last night that i can't seem to put into a coherent story line, and i was laying there for ages this morning...
main one of my brother trying to kill vine weevils in the rose garden at West Eaton.
My rose bush is being affected by said pests...i've tried looking for them and hunting them out, to no avail...i think i'm going to have to buy an insecticide... :Sad:   Goes against all my organic ideals.

Dreamsign:  My brother being at West Eaton.   He's never been there in his life.  Not even when he lived over here.

----------


## irishcream

29/6/05

I go to the BlueNote for an Irish Folk concert, but the band are late turning up.  When they finally arrive, their sound is terrible!!  And their microphones aren't working, and i can't get into the music at all, barely being able to tap my feet to it...definitely not Irish!
The lead singer looks like a younger version of Shane MacGowan from the Pogues, he's dressed in black and is wearing cowboy boots...
Also there are women dressed in victorian era clothing, but they look like prostitutes and they are smoking cigarettes.




^ ^ A victorian courtesan...

Dreamsigns:  Appliances failing to work...also victorian courtesans in the 21st century?  I don't think so...Differences between the world i live in, and the dreamworld.  Ie, images from the past in a 'modern' setting.
The BlueNote is a Jazz cafe in the town where i live, but there is indeed an irish concert scheduled this weekend!!
*does mock jig..*
Also famous people...what the hell is Shane MacGowan doing in there?!

----------


## laracroft21

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *
> I suddenly notice there are babies all over the place, crawling around. *I begin to climb down the staircase, and everything is fine at first, until the staircase starts shifting and changing. *Steps disappear, becoming smooth, flat areas, similar to a 'Helter Skelter'.
> Great chasms appear between floors and the railings also disappear at various points, usually when there are no steps, leaving me nothing to cling to. *At first i am frightened, then i begin to be annoyed. *Angrily i try to conquer the obstacles, the more i try, the worse it gets. *The babies offer me no help or consolation, i woke up feeling angry and frustrated.
> *



This reminded me of the end of the movie Labyrinth!  With the stairs and the babies...weird.  I haven't finished reading your journal yet but I'm getting there!  Who is  Graeme?  He's in your dreams a lot.  Sounds like someone you *like*???
~Selena

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## irishcream

Greame is my boss...in my dreams, i think of him as my Wise Man Archetype...he gives me advice sometimes, or a telling off!
A great tall Scotsman!
In real life, he's very important to me, we get on like a house on fire, but there's nothing in it...
He gives me strength and guidance when i need it most, i guess he's a mentor to me in a way...

----------


## irishcream

1/7/2005
I've landed off the plane from America, mum and dad are there to meet me.  I've caught a rotten cold.  Mum says she needs to go to France, but she's going to go there and back in a day, in spite of coming back from OrlandoOkay, so why the hell didn't we all get on the same plane???
I go back to work and Graeme wonders why i'm not quite with it...i blame the jetlag, and he says he can soon put me on a plane...Meaning he'll sack me if i don't buck up!
An ex colleague has asked to use a vacant room in order to have her baby...Kelly is worried about what the Inspectors will say...In the dream, she was writing the shift plan on the board, using a red board pen...

dream two
I am walking back from work, in a heavy storm.  I'm terrified of the thunder...as i walk along, i feel like the sky is pressing down on me...something's obviously bothering me...

dream three
I dream someone called Reesu falls from a tower.  he falls an impossible distance until an angel of light swoops down and catches him.  The tower has many steps, and the dream was gloomy.
Other Images:  A resident with a twin, swapping to an upstairs room.  The lady in the upstairs room moves downstairs, but leaves her photo album behind, kelly gets angry at this.
As regards the Tower dream, now i've thought about it, i think i've figured it out.  It's to do with an 'emotional' situation...in that i'm busy putting someone back in touch with themselves...hence the long fall, and the Angel of light, which i think was me... :smiley: 

2/7/2005
I'm at the beach with my brother, we're in the sea, and we're quite far from the shore.  He wants to take me further out, but i say no.  There are lots of people swimming in the sea, it's very crowded.
I go back to the shore, and watch the waves wash over my feet...
At this point, i clearly remember thinking about the Goddess Aphrodite, who was born of Zeus's head, and her connection with the sea...Aphrodite?  again?
I begin picking up conch shells...the sea is very calm.

dream two
Graeme is talking to an Inspector what is it with my dreams, and inspectors lately?  am i trying to prove something to myself? and if so, what? in a resident's bedroom, and he is sitting on an unmade bed.  I find this worries me.  I pop my head round the door to make sure everything is all right.
We all get a lift into town, Me, Kelly, Jincy, and someone else, but i can't remember who...and we meet about ten minutes later in Kwik Save, without meaning to...

----------


## irishcream

3/7/05
i'm driving in Florida with mum, and we're discussing my career plans.  She says it's fine for me to stay in England and do my training.
In the dream, she has red hair.



5/7/05
vague images of clocks, and a connection to my father.
Also, someone was skimming stones across the sea, large, smooth stones.

6/7/05
At west eaton, a resident begins to lose her mobility. Also, sue has had a win on the lottery and buys Andrex.
A resident dyes the front of her hair orange.
Graeme has been working too hard again, and falls asleep under the willow tree.
In another part of this dream, i'm a member of a club and graeme wants us all to re enact the battle of Bannockburn.
We meet up with some of the other characters.d

2. After going back to sleep


In this dream i find myself back at Siesta Key Beach in Florida.  I'm working on something, enjoying the the sun and the sand.  I look to my left and i see a sign that says 'Siesta Shore' in bluey greeny letters.
I smile, thinking this is where i need to be.
I am on a very high plateau
I look at the sea and suddenly notice that the waves crashing on the shore are huge breakers.  At first this excites me, and then i feel apprehensive.
I turn to my friend and say 'Look, look at the sea'
'What about it?' she says.
'The breakers...they are huge and...'
The next thing i know, one of these breakers comes and throws me off my ledge.  I dimly hear the voice of my friend, who is unharmed.
I look down and realise i'm headed for the middle of the sea, nowhere near the shore, and i can't swim.
I hit the water, go under.  I think about swimming but i'm too panicked to try anything.  (i think at this point i realised i was dreaming, i might have been lucid, i don't know) I concentrate on waving my arms as much as i can, and trying to yell for help.  When trying to yell out, i realise that no sound comes out, and i also realise that there is no lifeguard on duty.
I now become very scared, too scared to try anything, in spite of being lucid...so i concentrate on waking myself up.
Over and over in my mind i repeat: 'wake up, wake up, come on Elisabeth, WAKE UP!'
I begin to come out of the dream, my mind is awake, but my body is not responding, although i am not paralysed, because i'm trying to slap myself awake.
Half of me is still in the dream drowning, yet i know i am in my own bed, but waking up proved a struggle.
This has to be one of the scariest dreams i've had in a long time.

dreamsigns:  The sea, Florida, soundless voice, lottery win, graeme sleeping under a tree, odd hair styles, my mother having red hair.  Also waves coming up onto a plateau, and only wiping me off, and not my friend.

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## Mystical_Journey

Sounds like an interesting night of dreaming!

The second dream about being in Florida with the ocean...... it seems perfect for interpreting, like a message from the subconsious or somthing, maybe someone could interpret it, looks like it has alot of important symbolism......

Your other dreams sound cool, esp the part about sleeping under a willow tree during the daytime, love to do that under the sun.

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## irishcream

after a few days without recall

9/7/05

Dream One
Dad has been drinking again and mum is not happy.  I feel responsible and i say 'I thought he'd be safe with me in England.
We later find out he's been drinking in the BlueNote...
He was also driving too fast down the Hereford Road...i think he might have been in Graeme's car again...what the?  And this time i was in the car....Freud would have something to say about speed and a red car...


Dreamsigns:  My father in England, at the BlueNote. Driving Graeme's car.

Dream Two
I find myself in America.  Joyce has moved house, and it's bigger than her last one...lots of new kitchen appliances have been bought, some are Whirlpool, and the dishwasher is Zanussi...
Dad has been shopping, and filled the freezer to the brim!
I tell him i wish i could do that back in England.

Dreamsigns: America.  Joyce.  New appliances.  My father filling the freezer, there'd be no point in my doing that, i'd never get through it all!
I hate the fact these dreams were so short...

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## laracroft21

The Florida dream at the beach sounds terrifying....especially the trying to wake up part.  Have you been to Siesta Key?  I imagine so or else you probably wouldn't dream about it...I dunno.  I live in Tampa very close to there, yet I've never been.  My boyfriend says it's his favorite beach.
~Selena

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## irishcream

Yes i went to Siesta Key while i was out there, it's a really beautiful beach...
And i've never struggled so much to wake myself up!

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## irishcream

10/7/05
I am in a Garden Centre, and someone is giving a lecture on plants which i find interesting.  I talk to the leader of the group, and i ask him if plants rest in winter, and he says yes.  He also gives me tips on looking after my Dieffenbachia plant.



^ i have one of these, but not this colour...i could have posted a pic of it, but it's flowers are dying off!

11/7/05
I am back in America, waiting to fly home.  I want to double check my flight time, but mum says not to, cos it'll stress her out.  I get the feeling that she doesn't want me to go.
She asks if i'm sad to be going home and i say yes, while trying to hold back tears, thinking my mother doesn't want to see me cry.
I then find myself back at the house, and mum is cross that i've started taking Evening Primrose Oil.
She's getting really angry, and i ask daddy if she's had her antidepressant, and he says she can't have it until we get hold of a knitting needle..
Dad can remember me discussing it.
I also remember gettting on a coach from the Airport, and i pick up a copy of Hello to read on the way...

Dreamsigns:  America.  Being at the airport, and then finding myself at the house again.  Dreaming about discussions that i actually had in real life.
Also, dreamscape shifting suddenly.  Why, when i'm supposed to be coming home, did i end up back at the house?  Try to remember that if you were trying to go somewhere, and you go back to your starting point without realising, you're probably dreaming.
Also ending up coming home after all...but no flight!

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## irishcream

12/7/05

I meet up with someone from DV.  It's the end of the 'Date' if you like, and we are standing outside Fletcher's newsagents.
I ask him what we do now.
He says that we can go our separate ways, or i can come with him and be 'teased' for a couple of hours.  I choose the latter!
We go inside.
I recall walking past a glass cabinet, that has a map of Ireland on it, but all the place names are switched around.  I think it's weird, but do nothing about it.
We walk through the back of the shop, and up a flight of stairs.  I suddenly realise it's turned into my granny's house, and i realise that she and my uncle are home, watching telly.
So i'm sneaking about, trying not to make a noise.
The stairs creak on the way up, which makes me nervous.
The whole place has a funny smell, like the windows are never opened.
My friend peeps into the bathroom and says that more soap is needed.
We go into a room at the end of a passage.  It's very small and only has a single bed.  Somehow we squeeze in.  At first, i'm cold, in spite of the fact that i haven't got undressed.  The television is on, and Coronation Street is showing.
We just stay there for a bit, and then he starts touching me, and i begin to enjoy it.  Before long, he's disappeared under the duvet, and things begin to get rather interesting!
I'm beginning to get very into it, when suddenly i hear a woman come in downstairs, she has an american accent and says 'oh, look at the pretty kitty!'
I ask my friend who that could be, and he firmly tells me to 'nevermind' and i don't!
Suddenly, she bursts into the room, and pulls the quilt back , and starts yelling at him.
'couldn't wait to get your hands on someone!  Do you think she's better than me!?'
I'm hiding my face in the mattress, as red as a beet, while he tries to explain things.
She storms off.
After a few minutes, i've recovered my composure, and i say 'where were we?'
He doesn't answer, he appears to be staring into space.
I tell him that's busted the mood, and he nods.
I tell him i should go, and i wonder how i'm going to get out.  It's now pitch dark, and i realise i can't find my keys.  it's also raining.  I consider shimmying down a drain pipe, but realise there isn't one!
somehow the dream fades, and i find myself in my own bed, writing in my DJ, but it's with my biro and not a fountain pen as usual, i also go to check my mobile phone and see the screen is doing strange things.  In the dream i tell myself it's cos the battery is flat.

There was also another image of me having an Asian boyfriend, and trying to sneak into a temple, in spite of not being asian and of the faith.  In trying to sneak in, i almost get stuck between two pillars.

Dreamsigns: 'Fun' with someone i've never actually met.  The local newsagents turning into my granny's flat.  Maps that are not accurate.  Finding myself in bed, but not awake.  My mobile phone doing strange things.
I do kind of recall thinking about  trying the finger through palm RC, but thinking was all i did, for some reason.

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## laracroft21

What is Evening Primrose Oil?  And do you care to disclose which DV member you had "fun" with?  :wink2:   or was it no one in particular?
~Selena

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## irishcream

Evening Primrose Oil is a herbal remedy for PMT.  It seems to work for me.
it deals with such symptoms as irritability, cravings, moodswings and bloating.
Hell, it was that, or Prozac!
and no, i'm not disclosing who it was...that's between me and my conscience, although they do know who they are!

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## irishcream

13/7/05

Dream One
I'm in the BlueNote, listening to a concert.  They are good, but not that good.  I find myself thinking of the band i went to see the other week in real life.
Someone is moaning about tickets being expensive at £6.25, and i wonder what her problem is, and what planet she's on.

Dream Two
I'm at West Eaton, and we're having the bugger of all shifts.  All the staff seem to have disappeared, and i'm trying to do everything on my own.  I'm very stressed, and terrified Graeme is going to walk in, and see the chaos.

Dreamsigns: The BlueNote, West Eaton, foolishly cheap concert tickets, being alone and unsupported.  Also thinking about real life events within a dream.  Knowing that i've lain down to sleep, why am i thinking about a real life concert?  How does my dreaming mind know this?  or is it a trick?

----------


## irishcream

14/7/05

I had loads of dreams last night, but didn't write them down, like an idiot.

Here's the one i remember:

I am in a large Hall with people i used to know from my church group.  The most prominent person is Helen.
I tell Helen i've met someone new, and we are like glue and china, stuck together As i was saying this, i had a vision of a smashed willow pattern tea set
Suddenly my brother launches into an a cappella performance of a song, but i can't remember the song.  I do remember he was very good, and everyone was clapping. I also remember wondering what the hell he was doing there, he has no belief in what he calls the 'God dude'

 <-----Willow Pattern
In this dream i am very tired, and i feel like Helen isn't really paying attention.

Dreamsigns:  Talking to Helen, whom i haven't seen in months.  Being back as part of a religious group, when i abandoned the faith a long time ago.  My brother being involved, when he doesn't believe in God or the Church, add to the fact that he can't actually sing! Also try to remember that when you wake up, you need to write dreams down, as you'll forget them!

----------


## irishcream

15/7/05

Dream One
I am in America.  And it seems i've been set some kind of challenge, but i don't know what it is.  All i know is i have to get somewhere, walking the streets of America.
I'm doing okay to begin with, until i find i am hopelessly, totally lost.
I come to a cross roads.  There is lots of traffic going back and forth, and no stop signs anywhere.  I want to cross, but am afraid to.
There is a woman, in white, standing in the midst of the traffic.  She has dark hair, and is slim, and reminds me of myself.
'Come on, what are you waiting for?' she says, and laughs.  I feel angry, because it feels like she is mocking me.
I feel afraid, and she disappears.
I still feel lost, so i double back the way i came, and find a map, with only one place name on it, 'Church' and an arrow pointing in the direction i've just come from.
'But i don't want to go to church!' i say aloud.
I'm horrified.
However, no matter how much i look, there is no other direction on the map.
so, i finally manage to make the crossroads, and come to a Catholic Chapel.
The whole place frightens me.  The tombstones are very old, covered in lichen.  I find myself thinking of the skeletons that must be under them, and tell myself the dead can't harm me.
I go in.  Some people turn and smile at me.
I sit down, and i'm freezing cold.  I'm only wearing a light summer dress, a white one...
The clock on the wall reads 10.20 am in the morning.
The preacher is giving a sermon.  She says 'And we are told that we are not the sinners, but the saints.  But i tell you this:  we are the sinners, we will always be the sinners, and never the saints'

Dreamsigns: Being set a challenge, being lost.  (it's actually not the first time i've been lost in a dream...Maps with only one direction, a lack of choice.  Catholic chapel with a woman priest.  This is not possible.
Being afraid, a nameless fear.  Just what was i scared of, in this dream?

Dream Two
I'm in America again, it's the MidWest.  It feels like it could be Milwaukee (or that's the impression i got when i asked myself 'where am i?' and my mind said 'Milwaukee, before the White Man came'
I'm sitting in the sun, when two riderless packhorses come to draw water from our well.  I'm also married to an Indian.  I take no notice at first, but as they leave, i wave to the second one.  It winks back at me.  The horse was white.
A small grey squirrel appears, and my dog wants to chase it.  I sense its' fear.  My father puts it in the eaves of a cabin, and it escapes.
At the end of this 'Dream Day' i am lying beneath the stars with my husband under a bear skin rug.  I feel 'connected' with the whole cosmos.




This one doesn't really bug me, i'd just like someone to define the symbols for me.  I seem to have switched from Greek and Roman Goddesses, to the Native American Indians...

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## Mystical_Journey

Hey Irishcream, love the new Dali picture btw   ::D:  (good choice in images).

Your dreams sound really interesting and thought provoking (esp the first dream), Im not good at picking up symbols from dreams but I can be sure it has something to do with religion   :tongue2:  

ive never seen myself in a dream before.....

The second dream sounds really exciting and beautiful, sounds like another archetypal dream.

p.s. That Native American picture is beautiful, love the shade of purple.

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## irishcream

Hey, thanks for your comments!
That picture is entitled 'The Persistance of Memory' and it's a tongue in cheek way for me to stop being a lazy bag, wake up, and write my dreams down!
The second dream was rather pleasant, it felt very peaceful. And it definitely felt Archetypal, maybe something to do with the Great Mother?
Gaia?
I don't know...
Someone else said the first dream had something to do with religion, but that strikes me as waaay too obvious.  I think it's put there because it's a symbol i'd react to violently, ie, with horror, therefore, i'm bound to notice it!
The Higher Mind (as Leo calls it) isn't just going to stick a daisy in my path, i'd just step on it, and carry on!
I think this dream carries a deeper meaning...Re the crossroads...i have one thought.  I have choices to make, and they are difficult.  And no matter what way i go, i'm going to upset someone.
And maybe it's time to make my choices, talk to the people i need to talk to.
That's what the 'other me' was talking about i think, when she said, 'come on, what are you waiting for?'
Maybe i've stalled too long already.
You say you've never met yourself in a dream before?
I have, once only.
It was weirder than this.
The Native American Picture is entitled 'Sacred Circle' and i picked it due to the fact that i felt connected to the cosmos, and i'm sure it's in Indian Lore that everything is like a wheel, according to seasons and cycles...
In that dream, lying under those stars, i felt a part of it.
Weird...

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## Mystical_Journey

The Persistance of Memory is one of my fav Dali paintings, i remember a Futurama episode that uses the same idea as the painting (fry bangs one of the clocks on a table to see if it works - lol)   :tongue2:  

I love the other image 'Sacred Circle' have to try and see if i can try and buy the picture from a Native American site.

---

Its always interesting to delve into the depths of dream Interpretation. Dreams are always a good insight into the path one should take in life. I would love to meet myself within a dream, dont know what i would ask myself though   :tongue2:

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## irishcream

only unfortunately for me...i was mocking myself, which i hated, i hate people not taking me seriously...

----------


## laracroft21

About the crossroads dream....I know this may be a sort of "thanks, captain obvious" thing but it does seem like you are either facing an important decision or maybe you are afraid you made the wrong choice about something.  I remember something you said earlier about previously being religious and abandoning your faith, stopped going to church or whatever.  I can't seem to find it in your journal but I remember you saying something about your parents being Catholic and your brother not believing in God, and that you had (maybe) recently decided against Catholicism (correct me if I'm wrong).  Seems like maybe you are feeling guilty about this, and not sure where your faith lies? I think most people have confusion issues regarding religion, especially when they are brought up with a certain faith and start to question it as they get older.  That's what this dream implies to me.  I sense that you are a spiritual person but are not really sure what religion/faith is right for you. (Like me, I've decided personally that no organized religion is right for me, I guess you'd call me "agnostic" because I do have spiritual "beliefs" (or ideas would be a better word I guess).
Or I know you miss your parents and dream about America a lot, has there been any pressure from them for you to move here?

There's my lame attempt at interpretation.   ::roll::  
~Selena

----------


## irishcream

My mother was raised Catholic, but didn't raise me that way.  I chose it for myself, and then realised it really wasn't for me.
As to America, i want to go, i really do, and join my family.  But there's a bit of me feels like i'm not finished here...
I know i'll go over there, get back with them, and probably never move out again!
The idea is to just stay and finish what training i have to do, which could be another three years.  And i know by that time i'm not going to want to live with everyone again.
At the same time, i know i have to do what makes me happy.  It's that time in my life, when i have to make decisions for me, and not everyone else.
But by the same token, i don't want to upset anybody, and i'm just bound to!

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## laracroft21

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *The idea is to just stay and finish what training i have to do, which could be another three years.  And i know by that time i'm not going to want to live with everyone again.
> At the same time, i know i have to do what makes me happy.  It's that time in my life, when i have to make decisions for me, and not everyone else.
> But by the same token, i don't want to upset anybody, and i'm just bound to!*



Yes, the crossroads is a perfect symbol  :smiley: 
~Selena

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## irishcream

16/7/05
Walking back from America, I'm walking in the rain.  Everywhwer looks like it's been flooded, and it all feels pretty deserted.
I then find myself in the airport, looking at the market, trying to buy new knitting needles. I am trying to knit something for a friend, and i think i've ballsed it up.. :tongue2: 
I then find myself at work, mum and dad are there.
Mum is really upset and angry about something, she tells me that daddy has been drinking again.  I find daddy in room 5, and i think he shouldn't be there working.
I frown.
Mum orders me to get him another drink, she's very sarcastic, because she's angry. 'he might as well have another one, it's not going to make any difference anyhow.'
I go the the laundry room instead, and get sheets i need, for the bed i'm making.  I feel angry and upset that he's been drinking again.

Dreamsigns:  America, night after night, i dream of my second 'home'  My parents in room five of my workplace, daddy working there full stop.  They've never looked round.
My father drinking...this is coming up A LOT.  it's almost up there with the America association...seems like it's three nights out of seven, this theme comes around...

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## Nirvana Starseed

I've always felt incredibly close the the Native American Indians. I really respect their culture.

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## irishcream

18/705
I'm in a wasteland.  In front of me is a storm drain cover.  Everywhere is dark and gloomy.  Something crawls out of the drain.  A liquid, black blob.  I don't like it.  It transforms into the biggest, ugliest crab i've ever seen, and proceeds to chase me round and round in circles!
It scares me a bit, and in the dream i think about posting it on DV...


I also have to beat the 'boss' of a computer game.



Dreamsigns:  Thinking about DV in the dreamscape...clue that you are dreaming, pay attention!

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## Mystical_Journey

*[PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY]*

Even though I totallly respect your privacy I still feel the desire to read this dream..oh well I guess its private for a reason   :tongue2:  

I'm going to make all my journal entries private   :tongue2:  _(i wish i had meaningful personal dreams in which i could press that button- Hehehehe)._

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## irishcream

24/7/05
Talking to a friend i know IRL on Messenger, he tells me he has to leave because there is a thunderstorm...i feel sad and disappointed.
Random images:My father(can't remember what he was doing[*]My brother (vague recollection of him going to summer school?)[*]Graeme is running round West Eaton like a headless chicken, desperate for someone to come and feed a resident her breakfast. (he's been doing this alot lately IRL...losing his composure in silly situations...[/color]

Dream Two
I'm in a church hall, and the discussion becomes a political one, religious politics.  I don't get involved, but i recall sitting there, thinking, oh god, not politics, this isn't for me.
Something doesn't feel right.
The meeting breaks up.
I go back to the hall later in the day, and i find it's been possessed by something very, very nasty.  The works cat is in the garden, and it's growling...i go over to it, a dream character (i don't know who) tells me to stay away.  But ignore her.
The cat continues to growl, but i understand what it's saying:  something like 'you'll never get away, you're stuck here, you won't get away from it.'
I had just finished Stephen King's 'IT' so that might have had something to do with it...maybe the possession of the hall messed with their heads, hence the political discussion?



Dream Three
I wish i had written this down, there was loads more!
Mum has come to visit, or i've gone to visit her, i don't remember.  what i do remember is the house was totally unfamiliar.
I'm playing a computer game, one of those old platform jobs.
Mum bursts into the room, and starts yelling at me.
'The bills have come in'
I get nervous thinking it's the phone bill.
Apparently it's the electricity bill, and it's way over.  I tell her i'll phone the company when i get home, and get them to send me another bill.
She calms down.

Well, it seems my recall is well and truly back!
Dreamsigns:  Being in a strange house, arguing with mum.  worrying about bills.

[list] the leader of my church group, driving down broad street, and tooting me[*]talking to my father about dreaming and my lack of recall, he tells me i'm trying too hard.[*]I see a plane in the sky, it's one of those ones that can land on water?  on the back, it has a sort of trailer thingy, and on the trailer is a speed boat.[*]finding myself in my own head, whilst watching this aeroplane, on my own plane, coming in to land, and being nervous as i hate that part of flying, but in the dream, it's really smooth and gentle.[/color]

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## irishcream

Late nights are really messing with my recall, i keep going to bed at strange hours, i have no night time routine anymore... :Sad:   Anyway, i still remember two dreams.

25/7/05
Dream one
I'm at work, and it's a tuesday.  My friend melanie comes to me and tells me i'm doing a long day on Wednesday.  This leaves me totally distraught, as i remember i said i'd meet someone i know IRL on Messenger on Wednesday night, and now i can't.
duh, dreaming about real life again liz!

Dream two
I think i may have managed a vague attempt at dreamsharing, i need to ask the other person if they were in the same place as me last night!  Some of you may recall i was trying to meet someone i know IRL in a cafe, as a precursor to dreamsharing...
Well, last night we were on messenger, talking about it, as a form of auto-suggestion.  Here is the dream.  I just pray they were there too!

I meet a DC in a cafe, we have a nice chat.  What about, i don't really remember. This saddens me, as i woke up, feeling that i'd just had a beautiful conversation, only on a much deeper level than a verbal one.
I get up to leave, he takes my hand and kisses it.
I remember feeling very happy and warm after he did this.
When i woke up, before i came quite awake and reality came crashing in, i recall a feeling of still being partially in the dream, as though the person i'd talked to in the cafe was still there with me, still talking to me, but in a language or dialect only i understood.
I felt like i'd connected souls with this person, bridging a distance.
it was a very free, liberating feeling, being so in touch with someone.  It also made me feel very content, and very happy.

Dreamsigns: being at work, dreaming of real life in a dream...cue to say, hang on, i'm asleep, you're talking crap!
Things to do:  perform more RC's throughout the day, stop daydreaming and be more aware of your surroundings!

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## irishcream

26/7/05

Hmmm, seems like i remember more than i think...

I walk past Fletcher's Newsagents, only to see it's all shut up and all the stock is gone.
I must have walked in the other direction, as i find myself outside Westfield Walk.  I meet a woman walking a dog and i ask her what's happened to the newsagents.
She says the proprietors have gone away, for a holiday.  I point out that all the stock has gone.
She then tells me that they've had to split cos their son ran up a massive debt. Turns out the son was Peter Barlow from Coronation Street

Random Images
[list]standing on a street corner discussing the town's floodline (we don't have a floodline)[*]being in the library and picking up an old video player[list]

Dreamsigns:  the 'how did i get here?' if i suddenly find myself in another part of the dreamscape, with no recollection of how i got there, i need to ask myself, 'how did i get here?' if i can't come up with an answer, it's time to do a reality check!
Also dream characters lying to me, i've never had this happen before.

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## irishcream

27/7/05
I'm at work.  The cook is in room 28, trying to cook a sausage casserole.  However, just as he's about to put it in the oven, i tell him he hasn't got it quite right, and try to explain the process of marination.
Being foreign, he doesn't understand.
I get annoyed.  I speak to Sue, she says i must find another way of explaining it. I'm at a developmental stage in my career, where i'm learning to talk to people in order to get what i want, without resorting to yelling and shouting.  Stuff like this comes up in real life all the time! People!
I go back and try again, at the same time, i'm making the bed.Not very hygienic, that, cooking, in a residents bedroom... :tongue2: 
A colleague i've never seen comes in, she has red hair, and acne down one side of her face, i think she should get something for it, but say nothing.funnily enough, i woke up with a godalmighty zit on my chin this morning...ugh.  I'm temporarily not beautiful  :wink2: 
I go for my tea break, but instead of going to the prep room, i go down the corridor, turn left and find myself faced with a cupboard i never saw before.there isn't a cupboard in this part of the building IRL, so why i didn't realise it was a sign, i don't know...not paying attention again.
I look inside, shut the door, and feel calmer.
I walk into the laundry, with a cup of coffee in my hand. how did that get there???
I go back down the corridor, and into one of the bedrooms.
I open the wardrobe, and observe how neat it is.  I consider messing it up, but decide to leave it alone...now, was this some kind of low level lucidity without me realising it??? i kinda knew something was up, when i had a cup of coffee in the laundry room, in spite of the tea and coffee utensils being the other side of the building!

Dreamsigns:  things being where they shouldn't be...ie, cooking in a residents bedroom...magically appearing cups of coffee, and doors that were never there before...maybe i should do a reality check when passing through a doorway, then, if that happens to me again, i can leave my original dreamscape, and concentrate on my dreamsharing experience!
Also i noticed a primary emotion of anger in this dream, i seemed to be annoyed at everything...why?  I'm not unhappy in real life, happy as a duck with two tails in fact...hmmm, interesting one to ponder...

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## mattthew

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *i recall a feeling of still being partially in the dream, as though the person i'd talked to in the cafe was still there with me, still talking to me, but in a language or dialect only i understood.
> I felt like i'd connected souls with this person, bridging a distance.
> it was a very free, liberating feeling, being so in touch with someone.  It also made me feel very content, and very happy.*



This reminds me of real life occasion sitting next to a new girlfriend.  Holding her hands silently I had the distinct feeling that we were somehow exchanging messages with the most subtle of movements of our finger tips - messages transmitted beneath the level of our consciousnesses - messages to grand for us to express with words - that we could only understand with feelings.  It made me very happy.

It also reminds me of a story told by Terence Mckenna of being very high on mushrooms with his lover and speaking to each other outloud in a babbling language which neither of them understood.  They were like vessles speaking the language of a higher order of being for purposes beyond their comprehension.  Yet it was also a joyous and ecstatic experience for him.

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## irishcream

ha ha...i think i'll leave the mushrooms alone...i know what you mean about the connection thing though...
I'm listening to a song by Radiohead called Karma Police, and it's just reminded me of a dream i had months ago, in which i was standing outside a nightclub.  Until now, reading about your mushrooms, i couldn't remember what the hell i was doing...i was dealing drugs?!

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## irishcream

30/7/05
Slugs.  It appears i was playing with them in my dream, like a child would.  Touching their stalky eyes and watching them retreat.  wondering if there were any snails in my back garden.
Strange feeling of suffocation, which i didn't like.

31/7/05

Don't remember much, except i was standing in front of a book case, looking at books on Psychology.
I felt like i was looking for the answer something, that it was right in front of me, but i still couldnt' get it...

this is the second dream i've had of this nature, where i've been searching for the 'answers' to something...i'm at a pivotal point in my life, on a personal level.  I've had my eyes opened to a new concept, that i'd never considered before...and i think i'm trying to understand this concept, but struggling!
I like to explain everything, make it real, so that i know it exists in a physical form....but i'm gradually having to learn that just because something has no physical form, doesn't make it any less real!!  :wink2:

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## irishcream

3/8/05

Dream One
I dash to the supermarket to buy something.  I can't remember what.



Dream Two
This one was very vivid...
First off, i have to go to a training course run by Graeme.  It's all about improving performance at work...okay, my NVQ is really doing my head in now...really beginning to stress me out...in terms of my career, and where i want to be, it feels like a university final!!!  Terrified i'm going to be a miserable, dismal failure.  so i think this is an anxiety dream.  I'm busy trying to finish it, and 'improve' myself.
Then i find myself at an airport, waiting to go to America
I take all my bags and go up to my hotel room.  Outside it is raining.  I get to the room, and realise i haven't checked in!
I feel cross, and upset.  Because i'm terrified of missing my flight.how, i don't know...why would i book a hotel room, if the flight was the same day?
I go back downstairs, checking out the view on the way...outside the window, is a water feature...there are large rocks _floating_ in the water...Rocks don't float lizzie... :tongue2: 
I can also see the sea...it looks like the sea in florida, in spite of the rain...i think it's weird, considering i was told the colour of the sea is a reflection of the sky above.
There's a problem at check in, with me going over to america...the check in lady has to check all my stuff, make sure i'm not trying to go over there for residency.I had to go through immigration when i went in may, scared the shit out of me!!
Fortunately, they find my green slip of paper and my passport, and it's all fine...
Then i find i'm talking to my friend Nicky How did she get there??? telling her about someone who is special to me in real life, very special...But that i won't marry them.
She says i will.  In the dream, i have a distinct feeling that now she's said that, i probably will!! Bloody hell!!   ::shock::   no way can i get married!!  :Exclaim:  
In the airport lounge, i come across lots of books on dreaming, one on astrology, and one on love.Interesting choice of dreambooks...
I meet up with my family.  My brother is really cross that we've all played a new computer game before him...i'm like 'yeah, played it ages ago.'  Then i ask daddy why it is that he looks like he's had his guts ripped out...and my father makes a fist, and then makes a twisting and pulling motion, to signify guts being torn out and says 'because we just did!!'
in retrospect, this was kinda a horrible, being as i don't think things are easy over there for my folks just now, seems there's a lot of stuff going down, and i'm not there to offer any 'physical' support.

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## irishcream

4/8/05

In this dream, i went to bed with a DC.  he spends all day getting a room ready for us, but i'm desperate and impatient, and keep trying to get in there before it's ready and he keeps sending me out!
When it's done, he leads me in, and i'm astounded by the beauty of the place, there are candles and roses everywhere.
He takes me over to the bed, and lays me on it.
He starts kissing me and playing with my hair.  I don't think i was lucid at this point (unless it was very low level) but i recall concentrating intently on how it felt to have his mouth on mine, and that i was really enjoying it!
I also remember looking into his eyes, and being conscious of nothing but him, and a feeling of wanting 'more' but not sure how to go about it...
Afterward, we go outside, and i see these two coaches flying through the sky.  I get worried, in case there are people inside.  They are empty.  Then i worry they are going to crash.
My friend informed me that they are supposed to do that, and sure enough, they flipped over and landed on the road, quite gently.
No harm done!

----------


## irishcream

5/8/05
I'm on a beach somwhere, with a bunch of kids.  The tied is coming in, and on my right is cliffs.  I paddle in the sa for a bit, then come out when the waves get too big.
OUt to sea is a large bpeice of rock, similar to a glacier.  It comes in on the tied and attacs itself to the front of the cliff.  We all look at each other in dismay, realising if we don't get off the beach, the tide is going to come in and swamp us.
Out of nowhere, someone produces a ladder.  Apparently we have to pay when we get tothe top.  The only way to pay is by cashcard, and i don't have my bag with me.



Dream Two
I'm in a swimming pool, i've been trying to swim for hours, and i'm exhausted.  The pool has a wave machine and the waves keep hitting me, making me more tired.  The pool is also full of people, which i don't like.  My brother guides me to a shallower part of the pool, which allows me to rest.

Funny how i dreamed of water...
Random images

[list]*kelly walking up etnam street (this to do with her texting me at something past ten last night, to see if i was walking to work...very disappointed, being as i thought it was someone else.. ::cry:: 
*someone wanting to look at my purse
*looking at an elaborate chalk drawing
[list]

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## irishcream

8/8/05
Mum comes back from a day trip, with the biggest amount of toilet paper i have ever seen...i remember it was Charmin...  ::?:  
A friend wants to call me at ten on my house phone, but i have to text him and tell him he can't, as i can't get my parents out of the house.  I feel really, really upset about this.

[list]Random images
*Walking through a rose garden
*being in a chemist
*being at work, and threatening to put graeme to bed...  ::?:  [/color]

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## irishcream

10/8/05

Random Images*Being back at my old house in Cambridgeshire
*going somewhere with mum and dad
*With graeme.  Can't remember what we are doing, but it feels 'intense' he promises to buy me the latest Mick Jagger CD.[list]

12/8/05
I'm back in florida for christmas.  A bunch of us are going to a christmas service.  I come home with a migraine (funnily enough, IRL, i went to bed with one...i've noticed this often happens, if i have a migraine in life, i'll often have on in a dream)
I go to bed and wake up in the dream.  My head is still pounding, i think about going downstairs to get some more painkillers.  I realise i'm dreaming and do a RC, which doesn't work.

Random Images*Daddy showing me photographs, i've fallen asleep on the stairs.
*a very violent woman chef
*out for a walk with my family, they are back in England, mum remarks there are no wheatfields in america where she is, and no hills.
I think of a man i know IRL and how i have promised him i'll take him walking one day.[list]

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## irishcream

13/8/05

I went to Kwiksave after it had been refitted and couldn't find anything.
I was preparing to go to america.
I found out that my friend Nicky had been having an affair with graeme, and this made me angry and jealous.
I resolved to go to america and never come back.

This was an interesting dream, i'm wondering why i dreamed it, particularly that bit about my friend and graeme...weird the things your mind throws up.  I think it didnt' help that i'd suffered yet another migraine, and the painkillers i take either stuff my recall totally, or give me weird dreams like that one...however, it was pretty vivid...

----------


## irishcream

14/8/05

Looks like my dreams are just going to keep getting weirder...this one is going into interpretations...

I'm with mum and dad in some disused chapel.  On our right is the remains of the chapel.  On the left, is daylight.  We appear to be waiting for something.
A man and a woman come in.  I can sense their 'closeness'.  It turns out that the man is a historian/archaeologist.  He starts examining the ruins, we ignore him.
I notice that on one wall of the chapel are blue tiles and an inscription: 'Charnel House, Hereford'  Hereford is where i live
There was a date, but i don't remember it.
I talk to the man, asking him about it.  I think he starts talking about Henry V, but i don't really remember this bit very well.
He's carrying a large walking cane, and reaches into the rafters with it.  Mum is horrified by his behaviour.
He pulls down something, which to me looks like the wooden side of a chair.
And he said to me 'Imagine if this came up and hit you in the side of the face.'  I didn't understand, so he walked over to the far side of the ruins, where there is an abyss.  He pulls back on this instrument.   I'm getting the feeling it's like some kind of rubber pulley and it releases a flat disc of wood, which flies across the abyss and back to the wooden holder.
I realise it's some kind of medieval weapon.  I run back to my parents, exclaiming how cool all this is, and why didn't i get shown all this in history?
they look at me blankly.
i didn't really like the atmosphere in this dream at all, particularly as my parents seemed so 'out of it' and I'm wondering what significance the ruins has for me, its  not the first time I've dreamed of churches in one guise or another, and what's a 'charnel house'?
The dream shifts.
I find myself sat on a bench, with three other girls.  It's sunny.
One of the girls has fair hair but hasn't shaved under her arms.
I think the location is wales, it feels like wales.
Suddenly, a group of boys come racing down the street on very odd bicycles. :tongue2: 
They are in the design of a scooter, with the long handlebar at the front.  A front and back wheel, with the platform joining them in the middle.  Either side of the platform, are pedals.  The chain to drive the pedals/wheels is under the platform.
I ask one of the girls what the hell they are.
Apparently, they are the latest 'craze'
[/u]

----------


## Mystical_Journey

That sounds like such a fascinating dream you had, the imagery is really clear and vivid from the intensity of your description

I love the narrative of this dream, its like becoming part of the dream and having an adventure story, like finding a secret passage into the underground with dead pirates and gold   :tongue2:  

The historian/archaeologist character could be some form of archetype or Dream Guide (he seems like an interesting character within the story).

I love the sense of a timeless quality, like being in the past at the same time as the present.

----------


## irishcream

well, it was fascinating, but also rather alarming... :tongue2:   it's weird, i think, that around the time of a migraine, my dreams get really vivid and unusual...
wonder if it's related...
they are also more 'spiritual' in nature..

----------


## irishcream

16/8/05

Okay, my recall isn't as good as it should be, i'm not sure why that is...i'm frequently waking in the morning with a blank mind...and it takes a long time for things to filter back in again.
Anyway...

I'm in a dirty hospital.  And when i say dirty, i mean absolutely filthy.  The nurse in charge tells me horror stories of infection and patients that are 'double bedded' meaning that two patients are sharing a bed, in one case, a non-infected patient was sharing with an infected one  :tongue2: 
could this be related to the fact that i work in a nursing home, and all the recent stuff in the news about MRSA and its variants?
I'm horrified, disgusted, and very angry that people who are supposed to be caring for others can let this happen.

Then i'm standing on a beach, the tide is going out, and i'm mesmerised by the waves.
I'm happy because i know the waves don't stay small for long, and the tide always comes back in... :wink2:

----------


## irishcream

17/8/05

I dream i'm watching 'The Sound of Music' but the volume is turned down.

<< i can't believe i found this pic!!  'Deaf sound of music' LOL...Anyway...
It's quarter to five in the afternoon and i'm late for work, but i seem to be in no hurry to get there.  When i arrive, Graeme calls me into his office, saying he wants a word with me.  He says the conversation could result in disciplinary action.
He pulls out a whole bunch of sweet wrappers and i feel instantly guilty hey, i have a sweet tooth, okay?!
He separates them into groups and says 'your sweets don't talk to each other'  he usually adopts such a tone when he's really angry about something, but rather than rant and rave, he uses sarcasm, which can be far more cutting
On the desk is a jar of chocolates and a box of biscuits.  I feel tempted but daren't touch 
them.




I leave the office.
Norma arrives with Flynn and his mother   ::shock::  what the hell does this have to do with anything?
I look, but can't find one.
I ask Graeme about it, but he doesn't answer me.  i hate it when he gets mad at me, and then doesn't speak to me...such childish arrogance...
 I get really annoyed when my dreams go so bizarre and so random...on another note, such dreams are perfect for lucidity.  I am going to try telling myself every night before bed that if i see something weird, i will immediately go lucid. I'm also going to repeat this to myself during the day, and maybe in a week or two it'll pay off.

----------


## K-P

[quote]10/8/05

(funnily enough, IRL, i went to bed with one...i've noticed this often happens, if i have a migraine in life, i'll often have on in a dream)
I go to bed and wake up in the dream.  My head is still pounding, i think about going downstairs to get some more painkillers.  I realise i'm dreaming and do a RC, which doesn't work.

In migraine, the perception of the pain of an attacked may be preserved during dreams and then one may dream that one is having a migraine, or the perception of the pain may else be transformed into some imagery related to the pain (see http://www.migraine-aura.org/EN/Disturbanc...f_dreaming.html ). The artist Molly Barr has based a painting on such pain perceptions during a nocturnal migraine attack, see http://www.migraine-aura.org/EN/Molly_Barr.html

----------


## K-P

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *well, it was fascinating, but also rather alarming...  it's weird, i think, that around the time of a migraine, my dreams get really vivid and unusual...
> wonder if it's related...
> they are also more 'spiritual' in nature..*



Dear irishcream, I have commented earlier on possible relationships between certain migraine aura phenomena and dream and other weird experiences (spaced feeling) on this forum, please send me a note in case these comments should have caused you any inconvenience, in which case I will stop submitting further comments. I am interested to research the links between migraine experiences and different varieties of dreaming, and I would appreciate very much any feedback from you to support such study (http://www.migraine-aura.org/EN/Dist..._dreaming.html ). Kind regards, KP

----------


## irishcream

What sort of things were you looking for?
Details of my symptoms, before a migraine?  The form my aura takes?
[list]*I have a feeling of being 'spaced out' or 'disconnected' from reality.  Nothing seems quite 'right'.
*my dreams are sometimes slightly more bizarre than usual.
*i may dream that i have a migraine, and wake up with one.
*i find it difficult to concentrate before an attack.
*my sense of smell seems to intensify.  Perfume, usually something i enjoy the pleasure of, drives me crazy.
*i gradually become more intolerant to light.
*hearing seems to sharpen, everything seems louder.

I don't know if that's what you're looking for...

----------


## irishcream

19/8/05
I'm watching a particularly good episode of Holby City.
This is all very well, until i check the television guide that says its the second of two episodes... :tongue2: 
(hey, i could have dreamed A LOT WORSE last night...)

----------


## irishcream

Okay, i'm going to try an association technique, to get my recall back, and possibly help me on my way to lucidity.

When i go to bed tonight, i'm going to set my alarm for four or five hours after i've gone to sleep (this means an early night) and then hopefully i'll catch myself in a REM phase.
I'm going to write down whatever i remember, even if it's only something minor.  I'm then going to go back to sleep, and see if i dream some more and remember it!!

Fingers crossed!!

----------


## K-P

Dear Irishcream, thank you very much for your feedback. What I'm looking for is whether there may exist any relationships between migraine attacks (as indicated by the occurrence of the headaches) and certain features of dream experiences, e.g. occurrence of certain phenomena during the dreams (for example, certain visual effects which are similar to migraine aura symptoms experienced in the awake state, other experiences reminiscent of migraine auras), lucidity of dreams, OBEs, ... There is anecdotal evidence that, at least in some individuals, there may exist such relationships, but actually there exists not much knowledge about this. You could support my research by (1) allowing me to quote some of your dream reports (those dealing with the migraines) on our migraine aura website and (2) by giving some background information about your migraines  since which age did you get the migraine attacks, how often do you have attacks, which types of aura experiences do you know (you wrote already a lot about this). If you have any further questions, you are also invited to contact me directly via e-mail (see links at the aformentioned website). Thanks again, Kind regards KP

----------


## irishcream

hooray!!  my recall finally came back!!

as some of you know, i was beginning to have serious problems with my recall, in that i was waking up, and i could never remember a thing!!  so, last night i made the decision to try WBTB.  I set my alarm for four am, knowing i had a damn good chance of catching myself in a REM phase.  When i woke up, i asked myself 'right, Liz, what the hell were you dreaming about?' at first i thought nothing, i had one image, and i was ready to just forget it and go back to sleep.
'No way' i thought.  so i lay there, and worked backwards, without putting too much effort into it.
As a result, i have a fairly detailed dream, which i am going to list below.
NB:  I have an 'impression' of something else that i dreamed earlier in the night, but i don't remember it.
Also, as my alarm was going off, i knew i was in the dreamscape, and that i had to remember my last image if i was going to remember anything at all...hmm...have to try and utilise that in future, for lucidity.  Maybe the alarm will signal me to concentrate more on my dreaming state, and what's happening

21/8/05
Graeme is mad at me, again. This is bloody stupid, us not speaking to each other.  Why do we have to be such hotheaded morons?!  he's a great bloke, don't get me wrong, but sometimes, i feel like slapping his face!!
The doorbell goes.  A lady is standing there, and she says something about one of our staff members having signed up to a deal, something to do with a mobile phone company and a resident?
I go down to Graeme, who is in room 5, and try to tell him about it.  He 'politely' tells me to go away.
I think the woman may have something to do with kelly.
I go back to the front door, and talk to the woman some more.  She gives me more information, of which i don't remember.
She asks if she can take the aforementioned resident, and i say yes, without really questioning her motives.The resident in question died a couple of days ago, am i worrying about her journey after death?  Weird, considering i believe in nothing
She has a bunch of roses in her arms.
'ooh,' i say, 'who are those for?' i wish desperately that she'll say they are for me, from a member of DV  :wink2:  This is related to the fact that no one has ever bought me flowers... :Sad:  
She says they are for her, but they won't live long.  As she's carrying them, and signing the visitors book to sign the resident out, a stem snaps.
As she takes the resident to her car, i feel very, very guilty.  Like i've just done something i shouldn't....
I go back to the lounge and see the carpet is filthy, so i go and get the vacuum cleaner.
I find that Graeme has put me on last break, which makes me really angry.  things are quite petty just now...
Tess isn't speaking to me either.
He's talking about a resident who's paperwork is in a mess, with regard to staying...
The dream shifts.
I'm watching a programme on a man and a woman who make their life together in the desert.
I sense they have a very 'pure' connection. when i say pure, i don't just mean they aren't sleeping together, because in the dream, i know they are.  it's just that they are bound to each other on a deeper level.
The next programme is part of a Jack London serial, but he and whitefang aren't in the arctic or Alaska, but on the road.  I recall thinking this isn't going to work as a tv show.

Another channel is showing 'Friends' Out-takes

Also, i'm walking up town, with a close friend.  Except she's the other side of the street.  I want really badly to talk to her, but can't call out to her, or get close to her.  I follow her all round town without success...now what the hell is all that about???
I think this may have to do with various 'communication' difficulties i am having at the moment.  Seems like there's only one person i can communicate with, and while they are extremely important to me, they are not more important than my career, which is where i need to be doing the talking!  Poetry of the heart is easy...

Someone i know logs onto DV.  I think about inviting him into the chat, but my alarm goes off.

Dream Two

This dream came after i went back to sleep...yet again, i woke, and my mind was almost blank, except for one very hazy image.  So, i worked backward from that image again, and the dream came back.  Although i don't think what i've written down is as detailed as the dream itself, being as when i was remembering the dream didn't make sense in waking life, the way it did when i was dreaming  :tongue2:  Anyway...

It seems like i've signed up for a college course.  I get given a welcome pack full of stuff i don't really need.
I find myself in a classroom, and it's raining.  A member from DV is in there.
It turns out the teacher is no good at her job, and everyone is laughing at her.  The DV member is particularly cutting.  
she eventually decides it's not right for her, even though it's not seen as 'cool' for her to resign.
A girl nearby me says 'i had the exact same problem with someone when i wanted to be a nurse' to a lady opposite.  i don't see the lady's face, but i know it's one of my old residents, slightly younger and still alive...
This whole dream, was from the third person perspective..particularly in the case of the classroom scene.  I wasn't an active participant in the lesson, i was walking round the class as the teacher humiliated herself.  I wish i could remember more, i also wish it didn't seem so bizarre and pointless, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.  I need to be patient, and diligent, and not get lazy again!

----------


## irishcream

22/8/05

Not so much dreaming last night, as my mind being over active...IRL, before i went to bed, i had a 'meaningful' conversation with someone who i am very close to, in which various suggestions have been made.
It seems, in waking life, i can abide by certain rules that have been recently made by myself and someone else, but when i shut my eyes, my mind takes over and wants to take me to the places i've said i'm not going to visit emotionally in waking life.  At least, not for a while.
I slept badly..its like i was afraid to dream and i've never experienced that before...
One dream i do remember:

I was falling down a black hole, nothing whatsoever around me, just empty space...a vacuum, if you will.
Primary emotions were: Loneliness, loss, misery, fear and despair.
The feeling that nothing would ever come right again...

----------


## irishcream

24/8/05

*This dream came after another WBTB trial, seems i'm definitely in REM around four am...i think i need to try waking at four tomorrow, instead of half past, because with this dream, i think i might have been coming out of it.

Patrick Stewart, myself and my brother are in an allotment.
My brother can't understand why his plants aren't growing and suspects sabotage.  Patrick talks to him about pollution and the dumping of waste in our rivers.



Other images i had after i went back to sleep.  Plants again.  I think daddy wants to take a whole bunch of 'em to a boot sale, but i feel guilty cos i accidently killed one, that was particularly rare.
In another part of the dream, i was shouting at a resident who i have a particular affinity with in waking life (yeah, i know, you're not supposed to have favourites)
'What could you possibly know about my life?!'
I woke up after that, feeling a bit upset.
Could this have something to do with the fact that i'm gradually learning to 'open myself up' emotionally, talk about how i feel about things.  And the fact that it's not always easy, and is requiring patience and courage on my part.

The above were like mini-dreams...so i guess, i had three dreams last night, but i've kinda lumped it all into one.

*Something else i remembered.
I was sitting in my lounge, messing about with one of those portable heater thingies...the ones where the bars light up.  I flipped the switch to make it hotter, and i remember it got barely warm.
Really weird things going on lately...i don't know why...
Someone has commented that i have really weird dreams...

----------


## irishcream

25/8/05

Okay, so i tried the WBTB thing last night again...all i remember is, i woke up, turned the alarm off, went to the bathroom, and went to sleep!!  Fat lot of good that did me!!
Anyway, i did remember something when i woke up, which i think was a second dream...

In this dream, mum and dad have gone away, leaving me and my brother behind.  It feels very lonely without them.
When they came back, my father made the most amazing minestrone soup, with salad. Something really weird happened here...my father didn't originally put minestrone soup in front of me, it was a jacket potato with salad... :tongue2:  I need to remember to look out for things 'morphing' in my dreams
I asked him if it helped you to put weight on, as i was thinking of a resident in my dream who was losing weight.
He said yes, and i was glad to hear that.
I go back to work, and speak to the cook.  I ask her if she has any minestrone soup, and she says yes, and asks me what i want it for.  I tell her it's for one of the residents.  I ask her if she can show me how much soup i need for one cup. because it's a nursing home, everything is in bulk
She says she will, but the weird thing is, she goes out the back of the kitchen to the freezers...  ::?:  why would she go out the back to the freezers to look for _powdered_ soup??
While she is looking for the soup, a resident comes up to me.  He's in a terrible panic, because he's lost his shoes.  He is wearing red slippers, and he says to me 'have you seen my shoes, i've lost them'.
I tell him 'This might be a stupid question, but where did you have them last?'
He doesn't find this funny, and walks off in a huff.
I go into the next lounge, and i see a resident who can't walk in real life, actually _running_ across the lounge!!

Dream fragment from four am this morning...
I'm standing on a bridge, next to a castle/church/cathedral.  It feels like it might be somewhere foreign, in europe.  Denmark or sweden.  It's a very grey day.
In the dream, there is a murder investigation going on, and i'm worried they might question me. (although i don't recall doing anything wrong in this dream..i remember so little)
Also, whilst standing on the bridge, i was conscious of a strange perspective.  In that the building seemed to be on a tilt.
I realised that the building wasn't tilted at all, but _i was_ Not only that, i was also suspended a couple of feet off the ground.  This gave me a giddy sensation.
Hmm..i'd like to try this again sometime...interesting thing to happen in my dreams and not be lucid...


This is what the castle kinda looked like...
I've just realised, i've never dreamed of a castle before.  Also, in this dream, there was a feeling that i'd been there before...in my dreams, i mean.

----------


## Hazard

Your dreams are really interesting and provide, really what seems to be an insight to your life, the castle thing maybe you have been there before, a viable explanation for people who believe in other lifes and the infinity circle etc. Many dreams i have had relate to yours in a way, but mine seem... more optimistic, im not saying your pessimist god no, but our minds are powerful things your dreasm could really say anything and by more optimistic i mean sometimes just simple things for a relation instead of being angry with Graeme sometimes i would probably change my image to suite something Graeme liked making my personality, appearance something heshe would like constantly you know what i mean kinda hard to explain, i think most of my dreams i can fully control myself so im not sure how a "normal" dream works all my life i have though controlling your dreasm was normal until now, still not fully uinderstanding but as you are my guide aswell maybe i can rely on you to help, oh and nice background info on your about box very reassuring to know im in the hands of someone so learned yet so young  :smiley:

----------


## irishcream

Hey, thanks for your comments...with regard to the castle thing...i don't actually believe in past lives...but i think it may have been a 'memory' of a dream i'd had before, within the dream...i definitely felt like a familiar dreamscape...hence why it's good to keep my dream journal, if that happens again, i can go back and say 'yes, i have seen this place before'
As to being learned, i wouldn't say i was learned, not at all...i think i'm learned in dreaming, but that's because i've always been interested in it, ever since i was a little girl.
as to them providing an insight into my life, i suppose they do, because it's all concerned with what's going on in my life...
I'll definitely take that on board about Graeme, fighting with him in real life is bad enough, so no more bickering in the dreamscape!!
I'll have to learn to look for that, and walk away..

----------


## irishcream

26/805

 I think i could have remembered a lot more if my sleep hadn't been so fitful, and my mate hadn't sent me a text just as i was dropping off!!

I was in a large room, with a lot of people.  In  front of me, wwas a large profection screen.  It seems like it was some kind of lecture, but i can't remember what about.
There are lots of chiars in the room.  Outside it's raining.
I sit to the right of the screen, and off centre.  It's almost like i don't really want to confront fully what the film might show me.
I recall not wanting to see the film.
An angry man is outside, but i couldn't recall what he was mad about.
I also recall a door...now this is going to sound strange...it wasn't like a regular door.  it was hazy, and misty.  The predominant colour was blue, but the colours kept shifting between blues and greens...
Now what the hell does that mean???

----------


## irishcream

27/805

Dream one
Barclays bank is having repairs done on it...I really need to get in there, as i want a five pound note from the internal cash machine...after some lengthy discussion with the workman, they agree to let me in, but say i must be quick.
When i get to the cash machine, it doesn't seem to be working right, i don't seem to be able to put my pin in correctly...at one point, i feel like i'm wearing boxing gloves.  The manager is the other side of the room, and i can feel him getting annoyed.  I eventually get it right.
That's another good place to do an RC, being as cash machines have come up a few times...
I find myself outside on a street, not one i know.  I am standing outside a convent, and they are singing Madonna's 'Like a prayer'.  I turn to my friend Nicky, horrified that they should be singing it.
She explains it's not the song they are worried about, but Madonna's antics in the music video.
I'm also at a road, that i need to cross...there is lots of traffic, and i'm afraid to cross, at one point, i'm almost hit by a car...
Now that means something...am i afraid to make some kind of crossing?  From childhood to womanhood perhaps?  Do i feel held back in my relationships?  Am i holding myself back?
Fear of the unknown...maybe it's time for me to 'let go'

Dream two
I am with Kelly and she is running a bath.  It's at her house.
When i leave her bathroom, i find myself in West Eaton's upstairs corridor. I wonder if there's a way i can remember to do an RC every time i walk through a door, i've noticed this happening a lot lately..i've walked through a door, and landed up somewhere else!
Room 22's call bell is ringing.  I try to get the man in the room to turn the bell off, which he does, but not before trying to punch me.  I notice he has a large bruise down the side of his face, from a previous fall.
I am outside, arguing with a member of staff over a resident.  The argument ends badly, with me being at fault, when originally i was trying to sort someone else out. this always happens, i try to do right, and i end up dropped in it...  ::shakehead2::  
I notice on the wall in front of me are two celtic patterns.  I know they look strange, but i'm in too much despair to investigate.
I go into work for an early shift, but i'm supposed to be on the late, i think about saying something, but i change my mind.
I then find myself walking along the road, a man with white hair and a white robe cycles past me, i say 'excuse me?' he's nodding his head and listening to music, but i can't see any headphones.
He turns towards me, smiles, and carries on cycling.

----------


## irishcream

[u]LUCID!! YAY!!

I was in a large complex, like a block of flats.  There was a McDonalds nearby, although i didn't go in.
Outside, there was music playing, and a wrestler waiting to perform.  I thought about going to see him, but changed my mind.
I headed into the complex.  The walls were turquoise.
It felt really dodgy, and i remember being afraid that i might get mugged.
A baby was crying on an upper floor, and no one seemed to be doing anything about it.  It really was beginning to get on my nerves, when i thought, 'there's no point in getting annoyed, this is only your dream'
Immediately i thought this, the baby stopped crying!!
Unfortunately, i then lost my lucidity.

I don't know what brought this lucid dream on, being as i didn't get to bed till nearly three am, i didn't expect to dream anything, being as my REM phase is usually around four...is it possible, that being so tired, i fell asleep and went straight into REM?  Kinda like a WBTB without the alarm clock...i'm going to look into this.
Also, i find lucidity comes most likely when the intention is firm, but in the back of my mind...like a feather tickling my brain.  I'm conscious that i can go lucid when i dream, but i'm not letting it stress me out.  Also, i don't go into a dream with any preconcieved ideas of what i'm going to do, it seems to be that i change the dream to suit myself once i'm in it, hence, making people disappear, and stopping babies crying.
Good eh!!  I hope this happens more often!!
Next lucid task:  Go and meet a DC you know in real life!!  Go find!

----------


## Nirvana Starseed

hehe cool journal.

----------


## irishcream

31/805

I'm wandering around in the dark, where i am, i have no idea.  I walk into a disused train station.  I don't stay long, it feels dodgy and i soon leave.
I then find myself in a bachelor flat.  I am in the kitchen, and the design and decor, and layout, is very similar to that of my grandmother's flat in london...(hmm, maybe i should give her a call...)
The kitchen is very dark, and dingy looking, mainly due to the 60's wall paper, which is like a sort of brown paisley...

I suggest to the man living in the flat, that if he painted the walls a lighter colour, it would give an illusion of space.  He refused flatly to change anything.
He begins telling me a story about one of my residents.  how this came into it, i've no idea...but the story was like something out of a movie, or something you'd read in a book...

He told me that this resident's daughter, had been found to have been engaging in an incestuous love affair with her brother.
It split the two of them apart.  The mother and the daughter apparently never reached an understanding of events, or made up, and the daughter died.  This made the mother very sad, and wretched and bitter about life in general.
I go back into work, and speak to this resident.  She explains everything to me, and it makes me very sad to hear that someone has gone through such pain.

Dream Two
I'm in a bookshop...I think it might be WH Smiths', but i'm not sure...i'm in the section that deals with 'chick lit' the sort of books women read to get a laugh.  i've read a couple, they are rather funny...
I think about buying a nice new pen, in order to take with me, when i go to do my nursing course...something bright and jazzy, with glittery ink.  Then i remember that nicky told me i can only write in blue or black...Killjoys...
There is a distraction and a disturbance off to my left...a young woman is panicking, and talking to the store manager.  She's really upset about something, and stumbling over her words.
This what i remember her saying: 'The baby...she, she...went all red in the face, and then she, she...' At this point, she couldn't find the words to articulate what she was trying to say.
The store manager said 'you mean, she sneezed?
The lady said yes.
I frowned and then raised an eyebrow, and wondered what the world was coming to.

Dream three
Back at west eaton.  it's a nice sunny afternoon.  Graeme has worked nutty hours again, and he is finally going home...the weird thing is, Norma is in the car too, and i can't work out why, or how she got there...
 Point to note...never, ever, wake myself up in the middle of a rem phase when on a morning!!  I forgot today, turned over and went back to sleep!!

Well, that's all for today...hopefully, i'll have another lucid dream soon...i could have gone lucid in that train station, if i had paid a bit more attention to my surroundings...the intent was there, definitely...i certainly didn't feel right...i need to make sure i look out for that 'dodgy' feeling...

----------


## irishcream

My dream recall's taken a slide again...i'm pretty sure now the underlying cause is stress.  Stress at work=no dreams!!  I did a WBTB last night, and remembered a very vague dream.  Wrote down what i could remember on waking, but when reading it back this morning, i barely remember it.  Oh well.  Try again tonight.

4/9/05

A client goes missing from the nursing home.  I want to send out a search party, but someone says not to bother, that there's nothing to worry about.  I feel angry at this, being as she's been missing for hours.
A coachload of school children arrives at West Eaton, along with Norma.  She has a young blonde boy with her, and i remember thinking 'that ain't flynn...'
She's wearing a turquoise shirt, and i recall thinking how much it suits her, and draws attention from her red hair.

This is a totally odd dream...i wish i knew what significance Norma had to everything...for some reason, when i dream of her, i feel guilty, and i don't know why...maybe she's manifesting as a wise woman archetype and i'm not listening.

Task 

Try not to be so in awe of her in my dreams...speak to her, she's only a human being!

----------


## irishcream

5/9/05

There's a big dinner party at West Eaton.  I have to go around and collect all the dirty dishes.
I go into a resident's room, and her daughter is there.  She has a lot of old plants in a basket.
She says she is taking them to Australia.
Then i'm walking along Broad Street.  My father has given me an owl...it's white, with grey specks.  It comes from a cold part of the world, and i have to take it back.
I find myself in an ice field...the sun is bright, and it's warm.  The ice is melting.
My brother keeps telling me about the rising temperature, which is not good for the bird...i keep trying to make 'ice holes' for the bird to nest in, but the ice keeps melting.
I get annoyed with my brother for stating the obvious.
Then i find we need water, so i go off to get it.  Mum calls me back to tell me i'm going the wrong way.

There was more to this dream, but i can't remember it...on reflection, the WBTB doesn't seem to be working so well lately, probably cos when i wake up, i'm usually very tired...i think i need to concentrate on the fact that i WILL remember what i've dreamed about when i wake up.

----------


## irishcream

6/9/05

I get an email from kevin who has sent me pictures of his nephew.  i've just realised that kevin could not possibly have a nephew, being as he's an only child... :tongue2: 
The subject of the email is 'Do you remember?'
I do remember, and i feel a longing for the past, regret for things that went wrong.  And i wonder if it could ever have worked. er, wtf is going on?!  I'm with someone else now, and i wouldn't change them in a million, billion years...why did i feel like this in my dream?  This part of the dream could be resultant of the fact that i've got back in contact with him, albeit sporadically, just to see how he's doing... :tongue2:  when i woke up, i felt very, very guilty...like i'd cheated on the person i'm with now...maybe not physically, but in my head...
I then find myself in the library, but i don't remember what i'm doing.
I also remember a litter of puppies, living in squalid conditions.
Throughout this dream, one song was playing:  it was 'Always something there to remind me' and it's like one line was on a loop. 
#I was born to love you, and i will never be free, when there is always something there to remind me#
This whole dream, and the content, and the feelings it conjured up has kinda freaked me out...i'm wondering what the hell my head was playing at last night...it's almost as if, my brain is playing tricks on me, trying to tell me i'm lying to myself?  Which is impossible, because i know how i feel about this new person, and how they feel about me...and i never really had that before.
uh?!
I wish i'd never had this dream..very rarely do i say that about my dreams.

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## irishcream

11/9/05

I'm in Florida, it's my last day.  Joyce has a friend to stay, and i don't like her.  We've been in the newspapers for something and Dad is trying to save the cuttings for me to take home.
Then i'm in the car with my parents, driving along next to the beach, i say goodbye to the sea. 'I don't know when i'll see you again, but i'm going to try and come back soon'
Dad tells me it's not a good idea to come north because it's the ducks' mating season... :tongue2: 
The tide is high, and people are immersed up to their necks in water.  I want to go in, but i am afraid. There's that thing again...the sea is supposed to represent emotions, and yet again it is telling me that i'm afraid to immerse myself in an emotion...why can't i let go?
I walk along the beach, the sun is very warm, and i feel very happy.  Grains of sand are clinging to my feet and legs.  I think how wonderful it would be to walk with Curtis along this beach.
I come off the beach, and begin to walk down a secluded path.  On my left is a chain link fence, the leaves of a tree have caterpillars on, which i find repulsive.
On my right, a fairground is playing.  Children are on a mini rollercoaster, and i wonder why they are screaming, being as it's not a big or fast one.  One group of children goes down a log flume.
I walk further down the alleyway, away from the fair.  At the end of this alleyway is what appears to be a waterfall.  I want to go and investigate it, but something doesn't feel right. This bit reminded me of the Irish legend of Faerie rings, a place that children were lured to, and then stolen away by the little people.  The atmosphere was suddenly very peaceful, and there seemed to be a golden light
I go back to the fair, a child is in difficulty with his mother, i try to help, and the mother accuses me of undermining her.
A person from DV has formed a close relationship with Graeme.  I feel intensely jealous of this, really quite angry.  She's come to work at west eaton, and he's put me on teabreak by myself.
I'd love to know what the jealousy was about...i'm not jealous of anything i know of in my life, everything is relatively happy.
This next bit was a bit psychedelic...
I had images of magicians, they started out looking like something you'd see in The Sword and the stone...and then it went back down through the ages, right through egyptian times and further beyond that...whilst 'following' this train of thought, i was transported through time along with these magicians.  I eventually found myself in a wasteland, standing in front of an indeterminate creature, who was standing in front of a cast iron pot, stirring it over a fire.
The key message i picked up in this dream was that i was looking for something, but i can't thing what...or i have to be looking for something, there's something i need to find...
False Awakening:  This was so real as to be upsetting, and then annoying.  Curtis has bought me a great big cabinet...like a china cabinet.  it's made of mahogany, and it has to be the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.  Somehow, he's managed to fit it down the side of my bed, in spite of it being so huge.  The upsetting thing was, he was there too, and i believed it.  Right up until my phone bleeped with a text from him, thereby bringing me out of the dream...
Did i subconciously know he was going to send me a message?  Anyway, i hate it when something or _someone_ is so real, and then you wake up, and it isn't.

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## irishcream

12/9/05

I'm at the airport in Tampa, and I have to take an elevator.  Two girls are hanging about, and I know I don't like them one bit.  I get into the elevator, and it descends suddenly, making me feel sick.
When I get on the plane, all the seats are wrong.  The whole middle aisle is suspended in space.
This was a very strange dream...

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## irishcream

16/9/05

I'm not sure where i am, but it looks like a disused parking lot.  A very old lady is doing an a cappella performance of 'All I See' A song by Linda Thompson.  She's true to the last note.  I run to get Graeme, but she's gone before i get back.
In America, mum is out and i want to phone her, but i keep getting the dialling code muddled up.
Why do i need a dialling code if I'm _already_ in America?  Use your brain Lizzie...
Dad is no help.
When mum gets back, we find out that he's been molesting little girls! totally sick...
At one point, he does it right in front of me, and i do nothing, although i can feel her shame and fear.
Why was i so reluctant to say anything?  does this suggest that maybe I'm not as good as i think i am, at standing up for what i believe in?  Am i two faced?  something to look into; could i fight any harder for what i believe in?
[/i]

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## irishcream

17/9/07

It seems that the sea is becoming quite a symbol for me.
I'm on a beach somewhere with mum, dad and peter.  The tide is coming in at an alarming rate, and it scares me a little bit.  At one point, i'm in the water, being swept onto the shore by a great wave.  The water is a horrible colour, a sort of dirty brown.
We decide to leave the beach. I wonder if next time, i should try and go lucid, and maybe explore this sea a bit...it keeps coming up, time after time.  This is the second sea dream in just under a week.  Feels like i'm being told something, and not paying attention!
Then we decide to go to a swimming pool.
I then find myself at work.  Tom McConville is supposed to be playing at West Eaton, but he doesn't turn up, and Graeme calls him an idiot.
I feel very happy to be there.
My dreams are very short and sketchy lately, i'm hoping i have some more detailed dreams very soon!

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## irishcream

18/9/05

I find myself at the library and Tess is there, she has a rotten cold.  Bernard is angry with her for working.
I turn away from Tess, and find myself on the deck of the Titanic, which is sinking.  I have to reunite Kate Winslet with her on screen mother, who is the other side of the ship.  Everything is pandemonium.
I'm trying to get to the other side, but I get blocked by a bunch of men sat at an extra long piano!
'why are you all sat there?!' I snap at them.
'so we can all play at once!' one man replied, as if there was nothing going on...Like, DUH!
I shake my head in irritation, stepping over several pairs of feet.
I then find myself in my room, playing a handheld computer game, which has a very bright screen.
The phone rings, and it's my nan.  I'm disappointed to hear her voice, as i was expecting someone else.

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## irishcream

19/9/05

I'm on an aeroplane, flying over ireland...i see the irish hills in my mind's eye, and i imagine them to be almost like a surreal painting; i imagine myself standing on the top of one of these hills in the irish mist, holding my arms out to the sky.
i remember how i thought i'd feel if i did that, that promise of freedom.  I think this has an awful lot to do with a very happy situation i'm in just now, in which i feel totally free for the first time in my life.  Like nothing can hold me back from what i want to do, or who i want to be with.  I thank the person who has shown me this, from the bottom of my heart and soul, and they know who they are...
The in flight entertainment is crap, and i can't sleep.  All the television is showing is adverts for roller blinds and vacuum cleaners. i also know that this is a night flight, which makes it doubly annoying...i can't sleep on aeroplanes...where's the valium?
When lying across two seats, turbulence begins to hit, and i recall thinking, if i'm asleep, how am i to buckle my seatbelt? turbulence could be to do with the fact that, in spite of feeling very free and alive, i'm coming to the acceptance that it's not always going to be easy, there are going to be times when this 'joyride' gets a wee bit bumpy...

Dream Two
I'm at work.  A new resident isn't settling down well at night.  She's uncomfortable, and i find that the person that put her into bed, didn't give her an aid call, for when she wanted assistance.  She looked lost.
I then find myself in room 26, with a male resident in real life, he doesn't use this room. Also, this room has come up quite a few times...it might be worth doing a quick RC when i enter this room tomorrow...and thereafter, to cement it for when i'm dreaming.  Then i can jump  out the window, and go where i like! lol
He has a big box of chocolates, most of which have been eaten, although not by him.  I give him one, but don't take one for myself.  He's tired and grumpy, and complaining that someone keeps stealing his chocolate.  I hope it would cheer him up, but it doesn't.

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## irishcream

sweet as it may be to be awoken at seven am with a heartfelt text message from your beloved, it doesn't bode well for recall!!   :Mad:   :Mad:   :Mad:  I know damned fine when i got awoken that i could have remembered an absolute ton if i had been so jolted out of my sleep...although it did have its compensations... :wink2:  Never again, do i charge my phone and leave it turned on...  :Mad:  

20/9/05 (where is this month going???)

Strange dream that mum got me a bank account under a different name, with a different card and everything.  It also listed my profession as something i'm not, which is fraud.  I asked her if she was keeping the other account open for me as well, and she said no.  The new account had £130 which was okay, till i found out she wasn't keeping the other one... :tongue2: 
Also, i walked in on her in another part of the dream, when she was using an internet chatroom.  She was really angry with me, and i remember thinking that maybe she was 'messing about' with someone on the net, and i'd disturbed her...umm...yuck?  I mean, okay, i've 'messed about' before now...but my mother?!  My happily married for eighteen years mother...weird...although, that could be something to do with me, wandering about in a haze of desire ninety per cent of the time...so it's crossed over...i'm only dreaming about what i really want after all, according to freud...i need to stop repressing myself...lol
[/u]

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## irishcream

21/9/05

In this dream, I was writing in my Journal in the Nursing lounge. (not my DJ, my personal one)
Graeme finds out he is on a long day and he is really pissed off about it.
Also, i'm wading through water, and i'm cross because water keeps getting in my trainers.
what an odd night i had last night...that's what i get for going to bed at nearly one am...i do much better if i have a routine... :tongue2:  i'm trying!

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## irishcream

25/9/05

Lets hope my dreams are back to stay now...i remembered FIVE last night, the most ever!

Dream one
I get invited to a flowershow in Northern Ireland.  The brochure says I need to buy seeds, which are going to be £50 a packet, so I decide not to bother.

Dream Two
I have a friend who is going to be _so_ jealous... :wink2: 
An Irish band stops to play outside the front window of my house.  My windows are high up, so I stand on a chair to look out.
They finish their set, and move on.
The film director George Romero is sat outside with a film crew, waiting to carry on directing his latest work.  He looks not amused.
The dream shifts, and I find myself watching the old BT advert, where she says 'you got an 'ology? People will always need plates'  :tongue2: 
I then find myself in a very small lift with a resident.  It's sort of pyramidic in shape, and in front of us is a metal door, that looks like one of those doors to a vault.  She keeps messing with the handle, and I tell her to stop it.  It's very claustrophobic.
I'm watching the news, and I find out that the 'Ology' man is actually a terrorist, and he took the train to work everyday.

Dream three
My brother is enrolled in a church school, and he doesn't like it one bit.
I'm enrolled in a comprehensive, it's my first day, and I'm nervous.  I'm struggling to find my way around, worrying that i won't make any new friends.
In this dream I bump into an old school friend I knew in real life.  I find myself in the library, where there are lots of computers.
Someone is pushing a wheelchair, and i tell them to mind my ankles.

Dream four
My father is trying to put a fire out.  I want to help but he says no.  He did give a reason for this, but i can't remember it.
After the fire i find a white owl and manage to tame it.  It falls asleep on my lap. This is the second dream i've had with a white owl in it...i wonder what it means.

Dream five
I'm back at school again, this time, enrolled in an adult 'life class'
One member claims to know my mother and asks how she is.
The first lesson is not to make sex the focus of your life.
I wasn't aware that i was...These dreams all came to me after I'd done a WBTB because my recall had gone down the pan...I'm wondering if i should go back to drinking tea or coffee before bed, as caffeinne is supposed to improve recall. Also, i need to be less stressed!

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## irishcream

26/9/05

David Gray is on a rollercoaster.  It keeps hitting the peaks and then coming back down again.
David Gray is singing something, but I don't know what.  The rollercoaster goes round a loop, and he gets thrown off.  He immediately lands on a motorcycle and rides off on it.
The motorcycle is white, green and blue.

Hmm...that's the second dream i've had with a rollercoaster and a fairground in it...could it be symbolic of me needing to chill out more, learn to have fun?  Also, the rollercoaster i think is symbolic of where i'm at right now.  I'm feeling a whole gamut of stuff i've never felt before, and i'm having to work it out in my head.  It's nothing bad, but it's all very new and strange.
In the last few months, I've found myself taken to places within myself that i didn't know existed.

<David Gray. #sail away with me honey, i put my heart in your hands...#
<The rollercoaster.  In real life, i'm terrified of them...but the one i'm riding at the moment is rather fun... :wink2:  Put it this way, i'm not getting off yet.

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## irishcream

4/10/05
I am in the shed at work.  An ex colleague is doing a sale of all her old stuff, most of it is useless.
I'm playing a computer game on a mac.
There is a notice on the wall for piano lessons for £11.  I turn away and look back, it's gone.
Peter is desperate to go to a football match.
The useless stuff...is that to do with a life clearout of some kind?  out with all my old preconceptions about certain matters?  sounds reasonable...
Piano lessons...i need to buy a tin whistle...

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## irishcream

8/10/05

I'm riding my bike, and it feels dangerous.  I ride up over Eaton Bridge and my boots begin to slip.  I realise i should get some new ones before i end up with a broken ankle.
I come down to the pedestrian crossing, and i realise that i'm not going to be able to get off the bike because it's too big.
I get a bit frightened, being as i'm right next to a road.
I get off the bike, and land in the road, in the path of a lorry.  Somehow i manage to scramble out of the way just in time.
The weather is sunny.
A woman is walking with a little girl, who has MRSA.
I worry about the risk of infection to my residents.
Graeme tells me off for leading a new member of staff incorrectly.
I also see my mother and father bouncing up and down on the bed, like two children.  James Bond comes on the television.

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## irishcream

11/10/05
I'm standing in Leominster, watching a flock of pigeons.  I am fascinated by their flight formation.
I am talking to a member of staff from the Library, i solve a puzzle/riddle and he gives me a blue star which i stick on a chart in my bathroom.
This man also seemed to have command over the pigeons, he called the head female out of the sky.
I'm doing NVQ with kelly and talking about Curtis
I was doing NVQ with kelly till three am...ahhh..i hope it's worth it in five years...

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## irishcream

14/10/05

Stress, late nights and long hours are screwing up my recall...it comes when it comes these days, and when it does come, it's short and makes no sense...

I'm at work, there are loads of staff on.  In spite of that, the organisation is pants. No one seems to have any real idea of what they are doing.  Outside the weather is really grey and miserable. [color=indigo]This could be reflective of my mental state; because i'm so tired, i'm also very down...it's also making me a bit paranoid, and i get wound up about things i wouldn't normally.  Like, if someone says they can't call me, instead of accepting it like usual, i suspect them of foul play...[/indigo]
I call Graeme 'Daddy' When I did this in the dream, i realised i'd said something very wrong, he looked at me strangely.  Could be something to do with that being as dad isn't here, i'm going through something at the moment, a period of adjustment.  Maybe i'm subconsciously looking for some kind of support and understanding?
I am on last teabreak with someone called 'Theo'

Dream two
I go to a shop with Melanie, and order ices.  I'm fascinated by them, and i want to know exactly how they are made.
The manager takes me to the back of the shop, where there is a large stage.  He flips lots of switches, and the stage lights come on.  The stage is empty.  He then shows me a three minute animation.
I think i've just figured out what the stage means...it's to do with my NVQ, and my relationship with someone important.  I might be nervous about what life is going to hold for me...rather like before you go on stage to perform, but i'm beginning to realise i've got to go out there and give the performance of my life perhaps.
Finish my NVQ, prove myself to a few people who are concerned about me just now...with good reason, because they care.
Also, it could be related to that someone in my life, the stage could be symbolic of him, being as he's got a degree in film...

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## Mystical_Journey

14/10/05

[quote]Stress, late nights and long hours are screwing up my recall...it comes when it comes these days, and when it does come, it's short and makes no sense...

Once you get a clear mind your recall with increase, usually the feelings of stress and late nights inhibits your mind to dream clearly.





> I'm at work, there are loads of staff on.  In spite of that, the organisation is pants. No one seems to have any real idea of what they are doing.  Outside the weather is really grey and miserable. [color=indigo]This could be reflective of my mental state; because i'm so tired, i'm also very down...it's also making me a bit paranoid, and i get wound up about things i wouldn't normally.  Like, if someone says they can't call me, instead of accepting it like usual, i suspect them of foul play...[/indigo]



Maybe this reflects your attitude towards order, the fact you are dreaming about work might mirror your feelings towards the equilibrium of the place you work at in real life. You feel that the people you work with, no matter their size, might not give their full in a job therefore the establishment and the people inside the establishment suffer due to the fact the people are not pulling their weight. The fact that you give 110% shows this, so you feel rather let down by their lack of enthusiasm which manifests itself within your dreams. A person who enjoys their job and takes care of what they do usually gets annoyed at people who slack, this could be your way of dealing with it without confronting the people and telling them about it, some form of closure on an issue that might go unresolved.

Like you said the weather could reflect your emotional state, the feeling of stagnation due to the fact you have multiple issues going on in your life including both work and your personal life etc. Being down can change your perspective on life, your point of view changes to fit a situation, rather than finding pleasure in something you might look towards the negative effects of that pleasure and therefore create a sense of paranoia that echos throughout your life and therefore questions begin to surface concerning things like a telephone call. This may be due to your personality, the feeling you might not trust an individual due to a level of distance you might have created to protect yourself emotionally, the fear of accepting is far greater than the fear of rejection. If you get anxious about something in life its usually a good idea to confront that issue in steps and use that time to consider the reality of the situation rather than use your imagination to fill in the grey areas and gaps. The mind when faced with trouble usually goes into many different directions to find the answer, the feeling of apprehension is usually due to the fact you might feel uneasy about something that is troubling you, an issue you wish to confront etc





> I call Graeme 'Daddy' When I did this in the dream, i realised i'd said something very wrong, he looked at me strangely.  Could be something to do with that being as dad isn't here, i'm going through something at the moment, a period of adjustment.  Maybe i'm subconsciously looking for some kind of support and understanding?
> I am on last teabreak with someone called 'Theo'



This could be a subconscious desire to have a father figure in your life, a feeling that maybe you can confide with someone outside your typical parameters. I would say you were looking for a level of support and understanding like you said and it manifests itself within the dream, maybe you need to challenge this issue and bring it into your awareness by speaking to your father to discuss the subject at hand. You could always talk to another person in your life is something is bothering you..

Calling someone Theo leads to a multitude of answers with many different questions and responses, but from your dream it might refer to the issue of theocracy, which would lead you down the road of order for your desire to find something that is established, traditional, customary in your life, something that doesnt change with the winds, it usually refers to the archetype of a father figure (a community within a society, i.e. family who support and take care of you).

[quote]Dream two
I go to a shop with Melanie, and order ices.  I'm fascinated by them, and i want to know exactly how they are made.
The manager takes me to the back of the shop, where there is a large stage.  He flips lots of switches, and the stage lights come on.  The stage is empty.  He then shows me a three minute animation.
I think i've just figured out what the stage means...it's to do with my NVQ, and my relationship with someone important.  I might be nervous about what life is going to hold for me...rather like before you go on stage to perform, but i'm beginning to realise i've got to go out there and give the performance of my life perhaps.
Finish my NVQ, prove myself to a few people who are concerned about me just now...with good reason, because they care.
Also, it could be related to that someone in my life, the stage could be symbolic of him, being as he's got a degree in film...

I guess this is like adding a new dimension onto your life that you are fascinated by, yet slightly scared because your not used to this feeling that takes hold of your imagination. Your desire to know how the ices are made could refer to your desire to understand the process of something, to look deep into the development of an issue. Rather than experience the ices you wish to know how the ices are made and the details that go into it. Like you find it more interesting to taste and examine rather than to except the taste. Questions which lead to the examination of your life (stage) and the realisation that behind the scenes are your conscious concerns (NVQ, this relationship with someone important etc). You are at a decision making time in your life, when you have finished something significant in your life it will open up doors that might fulfil your desire to get the thing you have been waiting for, a job that you have been waiting for etc. Finishing your qualification and deciding what to do with them is a significant stage in your life.

Just a few of my thoughts, you dont have to take it seriously or except the thoughts as fact, just what i picked up from reading your entry.

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## irishcream

On the contrary, it has undone quite a few knots!!
I think i do need to speak to my father...the 'important' someone i know deep down i have no problem with, but the fact that other people now know about it, where they didn't before, is causing me problems i guess...it's like i'm forgetting what my point of view was to begin with, and i am thinking like them.
Regards order.  I like order, especially in a work sense.  In a personal sense, i like to know when something is coming, i don't like surprises, as i organise myself pretty well.
I can't do much on the spur of the moment.
The NVQ is going to open things up for me, i know it is...
Regards my father...i don't have his opinion on something...time to go talk to papa i think...

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## irishcream

15/10/05

I had some really strange dreams last night...i dreamed that Curtis had killed someone, but the dream didn't tell me who or how.
And then i dreamed i was at work.  It was raining really hard, and Sue Morris was trying to do a jigsaw puzzle.  The only problem was, every time she left it, someone kept moving it, so that it never got finished.
There's the rain again, and trying to do something...hmmm...
Then i got into room 19, and there's a lady in there dying.  by her bedside is a box of brandy liqueur chocolates, and i looked at them and said 'good luck.'
Then i'm in a car with my folks, and i don't know what we are talking about, but the simpsons come into it...i wish i could remember the dialogue as it was really weird and interesting, even though it was all nonsense...
We turn off the highway (looks like i'm in america) into a car park outside a shop called The Wung tun ten.
Don't ask.  I think it was doing chinese food...

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## irishcream

16/10/05
Before i went to bed last night, i read something on here about peppermint aiding recall.  I remembered that i had some peppermint tea in the cupboard, which i use for indigestion.  I drank a cup an hour and a half before bed, and i found my recall is better than it has been in the last six weeks.  I don't know if it's because i wanted it to work, or if it's genuine, but i will definitely be trying it again.

Dream one
I am in the town watching a fire demonstration.  A fire rescue dog comes up to me and i start making a fuss of it.
It slips it's collar and runs away.
I go after it, and find i've travelled all the way to Chichester to rescue it.
By the time i get there, it's turned into a totally different breed of dog.

Dream two
I go to Kwiksave and i buy sausages and microwaveable burgers.  I am looking for micro chips, but i can't find them.  I ask a member of staff, she leads me out of the store, to this woman's house.
I wait outside, desperate for the loo.
The supermarket attendant comes back to me, saying they no longer exist.  I ask the lady of the house where the bathroom is.
'up the stairs, first on the left'
Weird i didn't go lucid there, being as knew she was going to say that.
I go upstairs to the bathroom, and the floor is wet.  it's also a mess, the floor is strewn with kids' toys.
I sit on the toilet, but i keep finding that i'm missing the pan.
I clear up the mess with toilet paper...

Dream Three
I'm in America, in a swimming pool.  Two black horses are playing in the water.  They are both male and i can understand their language.
I can't swim, so i think i can't join them, even though i want to, very much.
The leader of the two pushes me further out into the pool and teaches me to float on my back and kick with my legs.
I'm scared, but he says it's all down to trust.
All the people reappear, jazz is playing on the radio.  I wonder if jazz is america's main type of music.
My brother yells 'Sink or swim liz!'
The pool attendant gives me treacle sponge soaked in milk, and also coffee, with treacle sponge.
Three Americans sit by me, so i share it with them.  The pool attendant doesn't look happy.

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## irishcream

18/10/05
Peppermint tea and a strict going to bed time...the system works!!

Dream one
I am at home and the phone rings.  It's nan, telling me she's enrolled me in a nursing college in London, because she is lonely and wants someone to look after her.
Mum is really angry about this and she thinks it is selfish.
In the dream, Mum is quite dishevelled.  Her hair is a mess, and she's put on a lot of weight.  Also her glasses have broken.
very rarely does my mum look like that...she always manages to look presentable...i wish i could say the same!

Dream two
I am at work and the phone rings.  Someone with a Newcastle accent is talking on the other end, but i can't make them speak to me.
Work is hell, and all the residents are shouting.  Graeme is cross.  He goes into a resident's bedroom and says 'now you listen to me' because she was shouting.  I don't hear the rest of the conversation.
One commode is full of bugs, and i get kelly to empty it out.
Also, something strange crawled across the floor, it was the shape of a 3d diamond.  When i picked it up, it was squashy.
Now that my recall has come back, i think it's time for me to start performing some kind of reality check.  Hopefully i'll have a lucid dream soon.  I know in the past, it usually starts with increased recall, my dreams get steadily more bizarre, and then i realise i'm dreaming, just like that!

----------


## irishcream

21/10/05
I become involved with a stalker.  It starts with him writing me letters, which i answer, thinking they are innocent.
He takes me away from my home and family, leading to mass panic.
I manage to escape with the help of a young lad i think it was his son...
When i arrive home, i find everything is normal, dinner is cooking on the hob, the radio is playing U2, 'Sometimes you can't make it on your own'
I go upstairs to find Dad on the telephone, and mum using the computer.
My brother asked me if it was scary being kidnapped.
I say 'A bit, but it was more of an adventure than anything else'
I'm wondering what this dream means...It seems to mean that, no matter what else is going on in my life, where it matters everything is fine.
Although i may be feeling a bit apprehensive right now, i've no need to be because it's all going to work out fine.
With regard to the song playing in my dream, i think that's to do with the fact that sometimes i need to ask for help, particularly in the emotional sense, and i often don't.

----------


## Wolffe

O.o How secretive of you :/

----------


## Ynot

only the db admin knows that
j/k   ::lol::

----------


## irishcream

Sorry for the secrecy guys, but the last few nights, my brain has been doing some very strange things...giving me dreams i can barely understand, so what chance has anyone else?
Also, they are deeply personal!

----------


## Wolffe

Mm, 's fair enough  :tongue2:

----------


## irishcream

30/10/05

Curtis has been to see me.  I go to the candle shop and speak to Helen, except the candle shop is actually the library.
In the dream I am now waiting for Kevin to come and see me. I didn't get this whole deal with Kevin...it freaked me out.  In my journal i've written 'Not him again!!!' 
I tell her how much he loves me.  'What about respect?' she says.  I tell her he has that too.
She puts her arms around me and lifts me up.
She kisses me softly on the mouth and tells me she wishes she could talk som more.  She says she'll email me and asks me if i want her to get more 'personal'.  I tell her i'd have to see. 
I walk off into the library and sit down in a chair to wait.
Some strange people walk in, one of them is a very tall man, dressed as a woman and carrying a stick.  He/She is dressed in Claret.
I make room for them.
I go to browse the books.  I am looking for a book by Graham Greene, but can't find any.  I remember coming upon a shelf of old classics, and thinking that Curtis would really like to read these.  They have the whole series of Winnie the Pooh. 
At this point in the dream, i realise i am very turned on. 
another group of people arrives, after a bunch of school kids.
They are looking for the man in claret.  There is a heated discussion and i gather he wasn't meant to be found.
I think i hear my mother's voice calling me in the dream and then i wake up.
I'm still trying to figure this dream out.  I think Kevin being in there isn't really of consequence, i think my brain just threw him in there to make me jump!
What helen said, about respect.  Could be something to do with what people are telling me, about being careful.  Also a subconscious thing that in spite of how crazy i get, it's never going to go further than i ever want it to. 
It could be more to do with respect for myself.
Kissing helen is representative of a conversation i had with my boyfriend last night, about me 'digging' women.  Maybe i do, but i'm not about to run after one! i also recall being in a big house, like a mansion, pushing a young lad downstairs.  This could be indicative of an internal struggle with myself.
It could be to do with Kelly.
Or it could be to do with that sense that i need to hold back on something, because it really is a once in a lifetime thing, and it's got to be right.

----------


## irishcream

31/10/05

Dream one
At West Eaton, a man comes on the television, and he is doing a rendition of Linda Thompson's Nine Stone Rig.
Graeme hasn't noticed and i sing a line.
He says 'pardon?'
I tell him what it is and ask who's singing, and he doesn't tell me.
He tells me he likes RPG games on the internet.  I sign up for one, but he never turns up on it.

Dream two
I'm standing beside Curtis watching a film about Bob Dylan.  It ends rather suddenly.
The television was huge, and high up attached to a wall.  The room we were standing in had a very high ceiling, and blue walls.
I recall an intense need to go to the bathroom!

----------


## irishcream

2/11/05
Mum and dad have come back from the west country with a bunch of presents for my brother and myself.  I get the feeling in the dream that they have been to Devon.
Also, the presents are for christmas.
My brother gets a huge batch of CD's and games that he doesn't like.  I can see by the titles that my parents have made a wrong choice but i pray he doesn't complain.
I get CD's of all my favourite artists, the only one i don't like is Simply Red.
My dad is very interested in the biography of Texas.
The only discrepancy in this part of the dream was that it said 'From 1921-39 she was in turmoil' Which would make her a very old lady, and this was the latest album... :tongue2:   I need to do more reality checks...
They also bought me a magazine showing me what was playing in the cinemas down there, and it made me realise that i needed to start renting more DVD's.
I'm gradually starting to realise how great it is to be able to watch a film!  I've never enjoyed them so much!

----------


## eXistenZ

[quote]21/10/05
I become involved with a stalker.  It starts with him writing me letters, which i answer, thinking they are innocent.
He takes me away from my home and family, leading to mass panic.
I manage to escape with the help of a young lad i think it was his son...
When i arrive home, i find everything is normal, dinner is cooking on the hob, the radio is playing U2, 'Sometimes you can't make it on your own'
I go upstairs to find Dad on the telephone, and mum using the computer.
My brother asked me if it was scary being kidnapped.
I say 'A bit, but it was more of an adventure than anything else'
I'm wondering what this dream means...It seems to mean that, no matter what else is going on in my life, where it matters everything is fine.
Although i may be feeling a bit apprehensive right now, i've no need to be because it's all going to work out fine.
With regard to the song playing in my dream, i think that's to do with the fact that sometimes i need to ask for help, particularly in the emotional sense, and i often don't.


Hi irishcream,

Your interpretation sounds fine. Since it's your personal interpretation and you're an experienced dreamer, it is surely right.

What is interesting for me reading your dream report is that three characters of your dream use some forms of telecommunication:
- Your dad is at the telephone
- Your mother is at the computer (that is often used for Internet connetcion, that is communicating to others)
- Yourself receive letters from the dream stalkers (that is another form of communication at a distance, altghohg without technologies)

The only character who talk directly and face-to-face is your brother.
I don't know whether this means something or suggest something to you. Just what pops up reading your dream.

Maybe you have a stronger relationship with your brother rather than your parents, at least when emotions are involved. This would be coherent with your observation 



> i think that's to do with the fact that sometimes i need to ask for help, particularly in the emotional sense, and i often don't



eXistenZ

----------


## eXistenZ

> Dream two 
> I'm standing beside Curtis watching a film about Bob Dylan. It ends rather suddenly. 
> The television was huge, and high up attached to a wall. The room we were standing in had a very high ceiling, and blue walls. 
> I recall an intense need to go to the bathroom! [/b]



That is a dream where the highest heavens are meshed together with the material needs (the bathroom). Bob Dylan is the "deity" and around him there is the paradise-like environment.

It seems that you believe in spirituality, but somehow you feel that it is
1. Artificial: the television screen, the walls painted as a sky, the high ceiling. The environment simulates the heavens, but it is not heaven. Morevoer the deity is a pop artist, someone who is partially created by marketing tricks
2. "Dirty": the bathroom

eXistenZ

----------


## eXistenZ

[quote]2/11/05
Mum and dad have come back from the west country with a bunch of presents for my brother and myself.  I get the feeling in the dream that they have been to Devon.
Also, the presents are for christmas.
My brother gets a huge batch of CD's and games that he doesn't like.  I can see by the titles that my parents have made a wrong choice but i pray he doesn't complain.
I get CD's of all my favourite artists, the only one i don't like is Simply Red.
My dad is very interested in the biography of Texas.
The only discrepancy in this part of the dream was that it said 'From 1921-39 she was in turmoil' Which would make her a very old lady, and this was the latest album... :tongue2:   I need to do more reality checks...
They also bought me a magazine showing me what was playing in the cinemas down there, and it made me realise that i needed to start renting more DVD's.
I'm gradually starting to realise how great it is to be able to watch a film!  I've never enjoyed them so much!

The only CD that you don't like is that with the noun "Red". It is like you accept everything from your parents but you do not want emotions from them: red is emotions.
You fear the same with the gifts to your brother, but you prefer to keep the peace, rather than complain about some lack of emotional communication in the family.
Just sensations.

Ciao  :smiley: 
eXistenZ

----------


## irishcream

Thankyou Existenz for your comments, they were very interesting!!

----------


## irishcream

3/11/05
I go to a big concert in America, it's a big choir of people.
One lady gets really into the moment of singing and starts crying.  The other members of the cast make fun of her and i am very surprised by her reaction.
I ask the organisers if there is a cellist in the orchestra, and she says there isn't, because it would be too expensive.
I am very disappointed by this.

Dream Fragments
[list]*Being in a shop, my brother breaks up a fight, i recall having been in there before with Curtis, but i have no idea when.
*Drinking in a pub with a man, and then kissing him at the end of the night.
I realise i've cheated on Curtis and i feel guilty.[list]
What's with the whole infidelity thing again?  This is really beginning to annoy me...

Dream after a nap
i just HAD to go to sleep this afternoon... ::?: 
I am walking home from work with Kelly she's in a bad mood and makes me come to Spar with her.
We are just about to leave when i decide i want to buy something and she gets huffy.  She goes ahead of me, avoiding the wet floor in front of us.  I however walk straight across it, nearly slipping over.
I have gloves on and drop all my change, which she picks up.
Three young lads are eyeing me up, but i take no notice.
I then find myself talking to Richie (her boyfriend) and she looks crosser than ever.
We talk about men's dress code and i tell him the only rule i have for Curtis is that he must dress smartly.
Sharon Osbourne is lying next to me on the bed.
how did she get there?


I don't quite know what was going on with this dream...i attribute it to the fact that A) i am pretty pissed off with this girl just now, i recently realised she was in danger of messing up my entire life.
She was also becoming a danger to my relationship with Curtis.  I have a philosophy that you can touch anything of mine, but for god's sake, leave those i love alone!
B) i've always wanted to 'talk' to richie, to find out the real deal between them two...it's a tangled web and no mistake!

----------


## realcrucial

[quote]2/11/05
Mum and dad have come back from the west country with a bunch of presents for my brother and myself.  I get the feeling in the dream that they have been to Devon.
Also, the presents are for christmas.
My brother gets a huge batch of CD's and games that he doesn't like.  I can see by the titles that my parents have made a wrong choice but i pray he doesn't complain.
I get CD's of all my favourite artists, the only one i don't like is Simply Red.
My dad is very interested in the biography of Texas.
The only discrepancy in this part of the dream was that it said 'From 1921-39 she was in turmoil' Which would make her a very old lady, and this was the latest album... :tongue2:   I need to do more reality checks...
They also bought me a magazine showing me what was playing in the cinemas down there, and it made me realise that i needed to start renting more DVD's.
I'm gradually starting to realise how great it is to be able to watch a film!  I've never enjoyed them so much!

I enjoy movies as well. I don't have like a cult crazy knowledge of movies at all, I can't even remember most actor's names, given I don't care who they are in real life.   ::idea::  You should check out 2001 a Space Odyssey  ::idea::   after I watched it in Lit & Film I had some crazy dreams about black rocks chasing me.

----------


## eXistenZ

[quote]3/11/05
I go to a big concert in America, it's a big choir of people.
One lady gets really into the moment of singing and starts crying.  The other members of the cast make fun of her and i am very surprised by her reaction.
I ask the organisers if there is a cellist in the orchestra, and she says there isn't, because it would be too expensive.
I am very disappointed by this.
[/color]


Hi irsihcream,

interestingly, in your dream music and musical expression are going on. In some previous dream there was some artifical and mediated music: Bob Dylan on a TV screen (large screen, but artificial), your parents giving you CDs as gifts. In this dream the music is real, it's an actual "choir of people". So real and human that a woman starts to cry.
Your subconscious tries to enter this emotional space by asking for a cello, that is a way to express feelings but in a more controlled manner: it's music mediated by an instrument; it's not artificial like a CD, but it's less than human voice.
They answer you that it's too expensive: trying to express feelings and controlling them at the same time is difficult, expensive for one's energy. Your disappointment is due to the fact that your subconscious does not know how to express feelings without being caught by them.

eXistenZ

----------


## irishcream

[quote]


Hi irsihcream,

interestingly, in your dream music and musical expression are going on. In some previous dream there was some artifical and mediated music: Bob Dylan on a TV screen (large screen, but artificial), your parents giving you CDs as gifts. In this dream the music is real, it's an actual "choir of people". So real and human that a woman starts to cry.
Your subconscious tries to enter this emotional space by asking for a cello, that is a way to express feelings but in a more controlled manner: it's music mediated by an instrument; it's not artificial like a CD, but it's less than human voice.
They answer you that it's too expensive: trying to express feelings and controlling them at the same time is difficult, expensive for one's energy. Your disappointment is due to the fact that your subconscious does not know how to express feelings without being caught by them.

eXistenZ

Wow, that's pretty bang on...it's made me think about how i express my deepest emotions...
I sometimes find that difficult to do, as if something emotional is bothering me, i don't like to own up to it, for fear that it shows some kind of weakness on my part.
Expressing feelings in a controlled manner...i guess i try to do that, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me.
Thanks for your comments, i enjoy reading them!
RealCrucial, i tried reading the book years ago and HATED it...i might give the film a bash though, see what happens!

----------


## irishcream

4/11/05
Not so much dreams last night, as fragments
I was in a sweetshop with my family. I was desperate to buy a big bar of chocolate but decided against it. Dad was asleep somewhere and mum was cross about it.
Also i remember my mum holding up two glasses and saying 'whisky or brandy?' i told her whisky as i hate brandy, but the whisky didn't taste right. I remember looking at a rug on the floor with a very ornate pattern, and thinking how nice it was.
Curtis and I were together, making love...This was far too vague dammit...need to do reality checks, and then i can yell 'lucidity on!' he he...  :Hi baby:

----------


## eXistenZ

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *
> Wow, that's pretty bang on...it's made me think about how i express my deepest emotions...
> I sometimes find that difficult to do, as if something emotional is bothering me, i don't like to own up to it, for fear that it shows some kind of weakness on my part.
> Expressing feelings in a controlled manner...i guess i try to do that, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me.
> Thanks for your comments, i enjoy reading them!
> *



I think that each of us tries some control over our deepest emotions: it's the society that compels us to do so. A running society needs a controlled level of emotions of its parts, otherwise it wouldn't work well. Some of us (I would put myself in this category) tries to control too much his/her emotions.





> was in a sweetshop with my family. I was desperate to buy a big bar of chocolate but decided against it. Dad was asleep somewhere and mum was cross about it. *
> Also i remember my mum holding up two glasses and saying 'whisky or brandy?' i told her whisky as i hate brandy, but the whisky didn't taste right. I remember looking at a rug on the floor with a very ornate pattern, and thinking how nice it was. *
> Curtis and I were together, making love...[/b]



Here I see that your subconscious is dealing with the concept of forbidden behaviors:

- You wish a bar of chocolate but at the end you renounce: eating chocolate is a sweet deed, but with collateral effect like fat, thus it is a forbidden or somehow limited act

- Your father is the super-ego that controls you. He is sleeping, so you take the opportunity to do something "forbidden" like drinking alcohol. You drink it, but the whisky doesn't taste right: it is similar to the renunciation to the chocolate; here you renounce to taste

- You admire the regularity and orthodoxy of a carpet, but at the end you make love with your boyfriend: rules and emotions, patience in manufacturing the carpet and passion.

Your parents appear liberal, since they visit the sweetshop together with you: they let you enter the forbidden area of yourself. Your mother is even an "accomplice": she invites you to drink alcohol.

But you don't feel really free in doing forbidden things if these are anyway under the span of control of your parents:
- The drinks are both with alcohol, so you have no real choice: no choice, nothing really to prohibit. Your mother did not want to test you with a choice between alcohol and a fruit juice; she wanted to allow you some moment of freedom but under her control
- The whisky doesn't taste right: there is no taste in doing something that is tolerated and admitted, thus not really forbidden.

As always, mine are just sensations, probably more linked to my soul than yours. But I think that they might be useful to let them resonate in your mind, taking what is interesting for your self-understanding.

Have a nice weekend   :smiley:  
eXistenZ

----------


## irishcream

> Here I see that your subconscious is dealing with the concept of forbidden behaviors:
> 
> - You wish a bar of chocolate but at the end you renounce: eating chocolate is a sweet deed, but with collateral effect like fat, thus it is a forbidden or somehow limited act
> 
> - Your father is the super-ego that controls you. He is sleeping, so you take the opportunity to do something \"forbidden\" like drinking alcohol. You drink it, but the whisky doesn't taste right: it is similar to the renunciation to the chocolate; here you renounce to taste
> 
> - You admire the regularity and orthodoxy of a carpet, but at the end you make love with your boyfriend: rules and emotions, patience in manufacturing the carpet and passion.
> 
> Your parents appear liberal, since they visit the sweetshop together with you: they let you enter the forbidden area of yourself. Your mother is even an \"accomplice\": she invites you to drink alcohol.
> ...



That all makes sense to me..there's a lot more fun in doing something that's possibly frowned upon by my folks.
Yet, at the same time, especially where my boyfriend is concerned, i want to make sure i have their blessing.
No choice with the alcohol....goes back to my mother and her feelings about my situation...maybe where she's concerned i'm putting up barriers that aren't really there?
Who knows...
it's something to ponder on for definite.

----------


## irishcream

5/11/05

I'm in Florida with my family.  I'm trying to ride a horse along the beach but it won't obey me.
I tell dad i want to take lots of pictures to show Curtis when i get back.
I am walking along the street and i walk past an ice cream shop.  I realise that the prices are all in british pounds.
We all go to a diner to order some food, my brother is being an idiot, mum is asking him what he wants to eat, and he can't decide, so mum picks something for him.
I warn him not to ruin my holiday.
Throughout this part of the dream there was a feeling of unease, because i didn't want a fight to break out...it was almost as real as the feeling i get in real life in a situation of this kind.

----------


## irishcream

7/11/05
I am in a building with lots of stairs.  It feels like an asylum.  Liquid forms keep morphing out of the ground and chasing me.  I find my way to a landing where a man and woman are sat.
I tell them about what's chasing me, they look at me like i'm crazy probably why i'm in the asylum then...
The dream changes and i'm in Leominster outside the farm shop with Curtis.
It's in semi-darkness but there is a woman in there.
We try to go in and she says we can't come in because they are having lunch.  I seem to remember they were eating curry.
I turn from the shop to find Curtis gone!
I was on the phone to him last night, he'd come back from a day out with his mates.  He was a little 'tipsy' and was eating curry.  I was in the middle of a conversation with him and found he'd fallen asleep whilst i was talking to him!   ::smitten::  aahh...so i think that explains his little 'disappearing' act!
A woman is beside me with a baby in a pram.
I find myself back in the asylum and there is a woman holding an artichoke with blue tips.  She talks about making herbal tea with it.
I find myself at West Eaton.  Someone 'official' has turned up and is talking to Graeme.  I am standing by the fruit bowl and feeling nervous.
This was a completely nutty dream.  I had a dream once before where i was in an asylum, but that dream made sense because it was to do with something i was going through at the time.
At this point in my life, i am actually quite happy and contented!

----------


## eXistenZ

[quote]5/11/05

I'm in Florida with my family.  I'm trying to ride a horse along the beach but it won't obey me.
I tell dad i want to take lots of pictures to show Curtis when i get back.
I am walking along the street and i walk past an ice cream shop.  I realise that the prices are all in british pounds.
We all go to a diner to order some food, my brother is being an idiot, mum is asking him what he wants to eat, and he can't decide, so mum picks something for him.
I warn him not to ruin my holiday.
Throughout this part of the dream there was a feeling of unease, because i didn't want a fight to break out...it was almost as real as the feeling i get in real life in a situation of this kind.

I'm probably fixed in my interpretations, but here I see a continuation of the previous dream about what is forbidden, your relationship with your parents and your relation with your inner emotions.

The horse seems to me a symbol of strong emotions, of passion, of wilderness (see the "forbidden" of the previous dream). You're riding the horse, but you are not able to do that; something prevent you a free expression of passion.

I link the British pounds of the ice cream prices to Curtis: by seeing British prices linked to the ice cream (sweet "forbidden" emotions) you're wishing that Curtis would be with you and not far away (Curtis seems in UK, since you say to your father that you'll bring some pictures to him); but the situation does not allow for Curtis to be there, since you're with your family.

You're saying to your father that what you'll give to Curtis are just photos of the place. You're reassuring him that no deep emotion will be involved between you and Curtis, just emotion in pictures, still and disciplined.

Your father is again silent and he does not play, apparently, an active role like your mother does. In the previous dream he was sleeping , here he is a witness of your pictures. Your father sees and your mother act, as two sides of your super-ego.

The sweetshop of the previous dream is substituted by the ice cream shop.

You mother was offering you two alcoholic drinks in the previous dream. Here she's offering food to your brother, substituting him in his own choice. She's like the person who decides what one has to feel and do. You're free, but between some fences.

Your feeling of unease is the expression of the emotional balance that you have reached with your family. A balance that works well for you and that keeps peace in the family, but that is somehow weak. Your brother can express freely his feelings more than you and that would destroy the balance among you four. This frighten you.

I would guess that some part of you are elaborating how to let Curtis enter deeper in the structure of your family. In a way you would like that he will be a part of the family, since you believe in the family institution, but in another way you do not want to share with your family a facet of your personality that is intimate.

eXistenZ

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## irishcream

> _Originally posted by eXistenZ_
> *
> [color=blue]I'm probably fixed in my interpretations, but here I see a continuation of the previous dream about what is forbidden, your relationship with your parents and your relation with your inner emotions.
> 
> The horse seems to me a symbol of strong emotions, of passion, of wilderness (see the \"forbidden\" of the previous dream). You're riding the horse, but you are not able to do that; something prevent you a free expression of passion.*



You are too good by half!  Regards free expression of passion.  When he comes to visit me, it's very difficult to get 'alone' time, being as i've sworn to my folks that i won't bring him back to the house, and i couldn't go behind their backs because my conscience wouldn't allow this.
Curtis respects that decision.





> I link the British pounds of the ice cream prices to Curtis: by seeing British prices linked to the ice cream (sweet \"forbidden\" emotions) you're wishing that Curtis would be with you and not far away (Curtis seems in UK, since you say to your father that you'll bring some pictures to him); but the situation does not allow for Curtis to be there, since you're with your family.[/b]



You could be right there...i'm going to florida at the end of January, and obviously i have to leave him behind.  I wish more than anything that he could come with me, so that we could stay together, and i also get to see my family, but it's not possible just now.





> You're saying to your father that what you'll give to Curtis are just photos of the place. You're reassuring him that no deep emotion will be involved between you and Curtis, just emotion in pictures, still and disciplined.[/b]



I guess that's what i'm trying to portray to my family, that i'm making out to be a lot less than it is.  I'm playing it all down.  I'm hoping that when i go over in february, i can open up more to them.  It's difficult to have such a conversation over the phone.





> Your father is again silent and he does not play, apparently, an active role like your mother does. In the previous dream he was sleeping , here he is a witness of your pictures. Your father sees and your mother act, as two sides of your super-ego.[/b]



I'm not sure what this bit means, but you have my father/mother thing right, because my father is the passive one, as is my brother.  My mother and i are the ones with the will and the temper.





> You mother was offering you two alcoholic drinks in the previous dream. Here she's offering food to your brother, substituting him in his own choice. She's like the person who decides what one has to feel and do. You're free, but between some fences.[/b]



With regards to Curtis, she's letting me do pretty much what i want.  She trusts me.  But if he ever harmed me in any way, she'd come down heavy.  You're right, i am free.  But because I am always going to be my mother's child, and because i respect her, until i talk to her i am holding back on things.





> Your feeling of unease is the expression of the emotional balance that you have reached with your family. A balance that works well for you and that keeps peace in the family, but that is somehow weak. Your brother can express freely his feelings more than you and that would destroy the balance among you four. This frighten you.[/b]



I can fight with anyone but my family.  Because if i fall out with them, who do i have to hold on to?  Family balance and harmony is very important to me, i like to know everyone is happy and things are 'normal'





> I would guess that some part of you are elaborating how to let Curtis enter deeper in the structure of your family. In a way you would like that he will be a part of the family, since you believe in the family institution, but in another way you do not want to share with your family a facet of your personality that is intimate.[/b]



I guess what i want to establish formally with my family is the situation that i am in, how i feel about him, and he about me, but without going into so much detail.  I guess i'm hoping to say 'i love him, he loves me, end of story.' No questions, no cross examinations.
At the end of the day, my family's blessing on this is important.  While it's not totally vital, it makes life a lot easier.

You'll love my next dream....he he...

----------


## irishcream

8/11/05
I am involved in the production of a Jilly Cooper novel, the actors are really snobby.
I have done lots of shopping and am on my way home when someone asked me where 'normal earth' drive was.  I told them i didn't know, and that i was surprised i didn't remember.
My brother and a bunch of kids are at my front door.  I own a black cat with blue eyes.
I've bought lots of pork and i am stacking it in my hallway.
I'm trying to send an email to various people, but i can't get the addresses to stay in, which is very irritating.
I hear a news report which says a tornado is heading for Florida.
I'm at work with Kelly.  Sue Jones says that if we can be ready for two pm she can give us a lift into town.  I wonder how this is possible, knowing that she has to take a highly disabled man to the hospital, and she has only got a small car.
what the hell is going on with my dreams?  They are seriously, seriously weird...must be my age...

----------


## irishcream

9/11/05
Definitely time for me to start doing reality checks...
I am meant to be going abroad with Graeme.  It's somewhere far away and there is a stop over called 'Mellencamp'.Looking at it now, i can recall a feeling of unease about this.  I didn't really want to take a trip abroad with Graeme, i want to stay in England with Curtis.  I felt like that by going with Graeme, i was betraying him.
I am out shopping with mum and my brother, i resent this as i want to be by myself.
Somewhere along the way we lose him and mum gets cross.  She asks him where he has been and he says that he had to get a baseball cap so that the back of his neck didn't get burnt by the sun.
She tells him off for going off and not telling her where he was going.
He asks her if he can go out and play and she says he can, but he has to be home at half past seven.
In another part of the dream, i have to send an email to mum using a different addresser, hang on a minute, didn't this happen last night as well?  Maybe it's time to start doing RC's when i do my emails...hmm...and then tell myself that in my dream they will fail.  Be interesting to see what happens.

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## eXistenZ

[quote]8/11/05
I am involved in the production of a Jilly Cooper novel, the actors are really snobby.
I have done lots of shopping and am on my way home when someone asked me where 'normal earth' drive was.  I told them i didn't know, and that i was surprised i didn't remember.
My brother and a bunch of kids are at my front door.  I own a black cat with blue eyes.
I've bought lots of pork and i am stacking it in my hallway.
I'm trying to send an email to various people, but i can't get the addresses to stay in, which is very irritating.
I hear a news report which says a tornado is heading for Florida.
I'm at work with Kelly.  Sue Jones says that if we can be ready for two pm she can give us a lift into town.  I wonder how this is possible, knowing that she has to take a highly disabled man to the hospital, and she has only got a small car.
what the hell is going on with my dreams?  They are seriously, seriously weird...must be my age...

Lots of info in this dream, although in a disconnected manner like in a rich dream. I would point the attention to the concept of impeded movement.
- You're really moving to Florida and in the dream Florida is under the threat of a tornado, that would cut your communication with home
- You have to ask someone else to move to town and this is difficult due to some disabled man
- You don't find the email address of friends

Some part of yourself, as you stated also in a previous post, is afraid that moving to Florida would prevent communication with your boyfriend and your family. You're a little bit afraid that the move will be something more than a travel, but a change of life. Practically, you're elaborating about your Florida journey and stay.

I have some sensation that is also a dream about your future: kids in front of your door.

eXistenZ

----------


## irishcream

[quote]



> I guess what i want to establish formally with my family is the situation that i am in, how i feel about him, and he about me, but without going into so much detail. I guess i'm hoping to say 'i love him, he loves me, end of story.' No questions, no cross examinations. 
> At the end of the day, my family's blessing on this is important. While it's not totally vital, it makes life a lot easier.



I was inspired by these lines of yours: it's a sistuation that remind me lots of things about myself. Probably this would confirm that we see ouserselves in the dreams of others.



[quote]
Lots of info in this dream, although in a disconnected manner like in a rich dream. I would point the attention to the concept of impeded movement.
- You're really moving to Florida and in the dream Florida is under the threat of a tornado, that would cut your communication with home
- You have to ask someone else to move to town and this is difficult due to some disabled man
- You don't find the email address of friends

Some part of yourself, as you stated also in a previous post, is afraid that moving to Florida would prevent communication with your boyfriend and your family. You're a little bit afraid that the move will be something more than a travel, but a change of life. Practically, you're elaborating about your Florida journey and stay.

I have some sensation that is also a dream about your future: kids in front of your door.

eXistenZ

Of course it's going to be hard keeping in touch with him, because we're separated by four and a half thousand miles and a time zone!
I think in a way, i am worried that this next trip to see my folks is going to change things.  Not because i think they'd pressure me to come over, but...i don't know.
How is the kids at my front door part of my future?  I could be really obvious and say that you are telling me that i'm not going to florida, and i'm going to stay here with him and make a family, but that seems too obvious to me...

----------


## eXistenZ

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *
> How is the kids at my front door part of my future?  I could be really obvious and say that you are telling me that i'm not going to florida, and i'm going to stay here with him and make a family, but that seems too obvious to me...*



As to kids, I was thinking that they could refer to your future relation with your parents: kids are open, emotional, sincere, no mediation involved (CD, pictures, TV screen in previous dreams). Actually they're in front of your house, not inside, thus they do not seem an elaboration about your future family.

Interestingly, among those kids there is your brother. He's emerging as the connection between you and your parents: your brother was the only one who talked to you in a dream of some days ago, while your parents were at the phone and in front of a PC; in the other dream you were afraid that your brother would have ruined your stay in Florida, that is to say that he could ruin the fine balance reached with your family but being more open and emotional than usual.

eXistenZ

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## irishcream

[quote]

As to kids, I was thinking that they could refer to your future relation with your parents: kids are open, emotional, sincere, no mediation involved (CD, pictures, TV screen in previous dreams). Actually they're in front of your house, not inside, thus they do not seem an elaboration about your future family.

Interestingly, among those kids there is your brother. He's emerging as the connection between you and your parents: your brother was the only one who talked to you in a dream of some days ago, while your parents were at the phone and in front of a PC; in the other dream you were afraid that your brother would have ruined your stay in Florida, that is to say that he could ruin the fine balance reached with your family but being more open and emotional than usual.

eXistenZ

That's interesting...i know as i was growing up, and having difficulty with my parents (what teenager doesn't?) i'd often talk to my younger brother about it.  Probably because even though he didn't really understand, he was impartial and able to listen to me.

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## irishcream

11/11/05
I am standing in front of a mirror trying makeup on.  I find a particularly bright sahde of pink that doesn't suit me.
There is a £5 note on the windowsill.
My brother gets me to help him construct a mini multistory car park, and i find it very boring.
I find myself underground, in what looks like sewers.  I am with a man, and there is a small stretch of water.  On the other side of this water, an elderly lady lies sleeping.  I have to help the man to move her but i'm afraid that someone will get hurt.
I rescue a cat and find it has fleas.
I find myself at work.  Graeme is telling one of the Indian nurses off, and he wants a detailed description of a procedure from her.
Whilst in the dream, i remember trying to commit this to memory, so that i could remember it when i woke up.  It didn't work.
I am walking with Curtis, when i tell him i need to buy new shoes.  He says he doesn't mind as long as i don't waste money.

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## irishcream

12/11/05
Woke at four am, very hot and disorientated
In a half awake/asleep state i felt like the room had rotated through ninety degrees and the wall next to my bed was covered entirely in prints.
There was a feeling of fear and apprehension until i realised where i was, and that i was safe.

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## irishcream

13/11/05
Yet another weird dream.  I am at work and the atmosphere is really terrible.  A great feeling of apprehension.
I feel very uneasy.
Graeme is trying to put a piece of furniture together.
My mobile phone is in my back pocket and I've not turned it off.  Curtis is sending me a text and it vibrates with a loud buzzing sound.
Although Graeme doesn't turn towards me, i realise he knows it's mine.
I try to ignore it, putting my hand over my back pocket to stifle the noise.  It stops.
Graeme asks what the noise was.  I suggest it could be a wasp.
Graeme says i shouldn't lie to him, there's no point in keeping secrets.
What was this dream about?  I've reached a new level in my relationship with curtis, and would love to discuss this openly with my parents.
Do i need to be more honest with myself and my emotions?
I can be very concealing.
When i wake up from a dream, i need to try and write down the 'feeling' and the 'mood' of a dream.
By doing this, i might find it easier to interpret.

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## irishcream

14/11/05
I'm out in the countryside when a woman appears and asks me to follow her, which i do.
She is leading me towards a static caravan, and i find I am very turned on.
The sky overhead looks grey and overcast.
She leads me into the caravan and we immediatly begin kissing.  we end up on a settee, which is navy blue velvet, and she tells me that sh's forgotten to do something and needs to go back to the house, except we've both forgotten our keys.
The dream shifts and i find I am looking at the report cards of some young children.
One little boy has been chastised for writing mobile phone numbers on his desk.
On a news report, i see thre are severe weather warnings in place, and a report on terrorism.
I find myself in Etnam street, and it's pouring with rain.
I realise i've brought the wrong size umbrella with me and i am getting wet.
Also, I was blocked in by two cars at one point.
With regard to kissing the woman, i think that is a craving for the intimacy i've lost, that i've experienced over the last three days, and the ability to express passion.

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## irishcream

15/11/05

*NIGHTMARE!!!!*

I am at someone's house with mum and dad, it looks similar to Kelly's flat.  I am in the sitting room.
My borpther is at  the far side of the room drawing a black and white portrait of a little boy who is african.
My mother is on the phone.  Its near christmas time.
I am talking to my father about Curits, asking him if he can stay with me for Chtistmas.
Dad says he has no objection but i must talk with mum.
He gets up and goes into the kitchen.
I try talking to mum and i ask about curtis and she storms out in temper.
I follow her.
She is screaming and shouting at my dad.
The argument progresses and we end up arguing in the garden, it's a cold starry night.
My mother asks if anything happened last time he was down.  I say no and she calls me a liar.
My father is in the doorway and asks her to calm down, which enrages her further.
she says i've already had it, and god knows what's happened meaning sex
She yells this out in the dream:
'she's had tests done for HIV and aids, everything.  By the front and back doors, everything, by all the doors, you'll find the same thing.'
I think she was implying that i'd had sex everywhere....
I swear i've not slept with him.
My mother becomes violent and we struggle.
She starts to fight with me, kicking my kneecaps.  My father is yelling at her to stop.
I find myself getting weaker.
My mother is sobbing, i realise she thinks she's lost her little girl.
I think 'why can't she just love me?'
I wake up sobbing and crying.
this was a horrible dream.  My mother can react badly, but i don't think she'd treat me like that!
I have no idea what this dream means.  Something so violent is more than plain anxiety

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## irishcream

18/11/05

Dream one
I am getting off a plane and i find myself in the arrivals lunge of the airport.  It seems that it's 'below ground' and that a lift is needed to go up to the light.
Lots of people use it, but i am apprehensive.  There is a young man there telling me it's quite safe, i look at him, and think i recognise him as an old schoolfriend, but i can't place his name.
It reminds me of the lifts they use in mine shafts.
Why was i reluctant to use the lift?  Fear of enclosed spaces?  Fear of entrapment or becoming stuck.  The lift was like a 'cage', and i've recently been thinking about such a concept in waking life, with regard to an emotional situation, the feeling that i could become 'a bird in a cage' something that's no longer free to fly.
Also, i don't like small dark spaces much.

Dream two
I am on the corner of Etnam street, walking with a female DC.  
Suddenly i am set upon by a faceless man in black.  He starts attacking me and i think he intends to rape me.
My friend tries to phone the police, but the man in black psychically throws her mobile over the pub wall.
I think 'shit, i've had it' but manage to wake up.
Faceless man in black, what is his significance?  Is it related to real life, and the possible beginning of a more 'physical' relationship with someone important to me?  Even if it's wanted, sex could still be considered a sort of 'violation'.
There was a feeling of fear and alarm in this dream.
I think i need to get hold of a dictionary of symbols, this one has me stumped!  Could it be some aspect of my personality i don't like, hence the lack of identity?  Black, my shadow persona?
Violence and aggression?  Sexual or otherwise?

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## irishcream

20/11/05
V. odd dream fragments
I am in what appears to be 'student digs', a very good looking young man is there, he has an air of detachment and aloofness about him.
I then find myself in a room where craft activities seem to be takingplace.
There are lots of plants, and i talk to a lady about growing cyclamen, and how it takes ages to flower.

this is what mine is _supposed_ to look like, it just has a lot of buds and no flowers...i suppose buds are good...

The room is bathed in a soft golden light.
I then find myself in a bathroom looking at a picture of two dogs, one is climbing up another's back.  The room is filled with candles.
Being at west eaton, sue jones is walking towards the prep room in a brown tartan skirt and stockings.

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## irishcream

22/11/05
My family and I have moved into a beautiful house.  It has a large spacious garden, with a friendly black Labrador under a tree.  It's also very sunny, and there is a feeling of peace and tranquility within this part of the dream.
My father is cooking bacon and eggs.
A new film director has appeared on the movie scene, and i am reading about him in a magazine.
I find myself at West Eaton, Graeme yells at me for something.  Norma comments on it and i feel humiliated and ashamed.
Everything is happening at once in the dream, and i can't cope.
I am walking through a town that looks like where i live, and also a village i used to live in as a child.  I see an avenue lined with trees and benches, and i want to take Curtis there.
A couple come up to me and ask me where 'road rage lane' is.  I tell them i don't know.
As i walk away, they are arguing over a stray cat.
I am rehearsing for a part in a film that involves a sword fight.
I receive the instruction: 'Move your left foot, and your eyes right.'  Except i move my right foot, and get hit with the sword.

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## irishcream

24/11/05
I am in strange surroundings.  It looks like i'm outside a garage that's attached to a house.
There are lots of children and they are plotting to blow the house up, which they do.
The foundations collapse, the family inside are still sleeping.
The children treat it like it's a game.
In a strange cottage with June, there is a huge thunderstorm raging outside.
My brother wants to go caving, but mum doesn't want him to go.
I warn him to be careful.

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## irishcream

1/12/2005

Random Images

I find myself in a train station, trying to catch a train to Ludlow.  It's not Leominster.
I ask a woman if i am on the right platform and she says no.  I switch platforms but the train never arrives.
I am having a conversation regarding Graeme and Curtis with Kelly, she wants to know if i've told Graeme about Curtis, i tell her i have, and she looks shocked.
Curtis and I are at my house before work, we are getting very close and wound up.
He suddenly checks his watch and says i should get ready for work.
Teasing bastard...he doesn't wear a watch...now, if i had spotted that, i could have had some serious fun.
Dream recall has taken a massive slide lately due to stress and work, so i'm having to go back to the beginning of just writing what i can remember.  Hopefully it will come back fully in time!
The images i do get at the moment are very hazy, and seem unconnected.

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## irishcream

3/12/05

It's rather unusual that i went to bed with a stinking headache after doing a fourteen hour day that i remember anything at all, but last night i had four dreams, one of which was lucid!

Dream one
Walking along in a barren landscape i realise i am lucid.
I don't do anything in particular but enjoy the feeling of freedom, how real everything is.
That's what triggered it, the fact that everything felt 'too real'

dream two
I'm with my parents in The Chequers, i'm talking to them about 'Long way round' but they don't understand it.
I feel really nervous being with mum again.
I am wearing my favourite jeans and mum criticises me, asking me if it's the only pair i own.  I tell her i like this pair.
defiance and rebellion...
The barwoman is the owner of the B and B, and she's arguing with someone.  I pray mum doesn't recognise her.  why would she?
Across the side of the bar is painted 'Joyce' in silver letters, over and over.
My parents leave the bar.
There is a man i can't see but i know he's a retired footballer who has taken up tennis.  I find his ball and ithas no bounce.  I drop it and leave the bar.
OUtside it's dark and i appear to have 'forgotten' my folks.
an old man is walking down the street, gazing intently at the wall of the pub.  I seems completely oblivious to his surrioundings.  I conclude he must be mentally ill or on drgus.
I think about asking him but decide against it.

Dream three
I am with my brother in America.  We are out in the wilderness, lost.
He begs me to take his path, i refuse, seeing another path.  I tell him i have to make my own way.
The day is very hot, and the ground very dry.
I start on a path up a hill, my brother walks downwards.
I feel apprehensive about striking out on my own.
we meet up sometime later, on top of a hill.
Below us is a country bar full of hicks.
My brother wants to go in, i think it's a bad idea.
This dream had a lot of defiance and disagreement in.  I have to do things my own way, even if people disapprove.

Dream four
In a hotel room with my family.  Mum has had a baby, the crib is smaller than i expected it to be.  She says we need to start packing ready to leave.  I hear her voice calling my name and wake up.

I've decided that dream recall is like waiting for a bus.  First you get nothing, then four come along at once!

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## irishcream

6/12/2005
I am in June's shop, she is doing a painting on the wall for some children, it appears to contain letters of the alphabet.
She is also making music, and it seems to paint a 'living' picture, of dolphins and sparkling sea.
I ask her about playing the piano and she says she started late and was self taught.
This was a very vivid and colourful dream, i really wish i could paint it or draw what i saw, but i can't.

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## irishcream

7/12/2005

Dream one
There is a virus going round at west Eaton and the residents catch it.  I go down with it and am coughing up blood.
The dream shifts and i find myself in 'Seconds Ahead' trying to buy a two piece suit.  I see something really elegant, in a plate colour with a floral print.
Curtis doesn't like that, and i end up with turquoise, which i hate.
Could be related to the fact that i know need to consider others when making decisions?

Dream two
Looking through an old pile of letters and pictures connected to Curtis.  i feel sad.  I talk to dad about how hard long distance is.
He says i have the potential to make it last twenty years because we'll always appreciate each other.
I am then sitting on a bed with dad eating a stick of marshmallow.
He says it turns him on watching me eat it.  I laugh and think how men are so Freudian.
I have no idea what that last part was about...i think it was my psyche messing about.

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## irishcream

8/12/05

This dream takes place in two worlds, one which is as we know it, the other which is very similar to our own byt darker and more malevolent.
There is a rip in the fabric of time, which leads to a house under a curse.  A young boy has to break this curse.
At the heart of the house is an old lady, she needs rescuing.
the young boy travels through several rooms which are booby-trapped, he comes to two red doors.  One leads to death, one to life.
the boy finds the old lady and breaks the curse, leading her out of the house.
The key to breaking the curse lay in the movement of furniture and realising he wasn't alone.
He has glimpses of his own world.
Also, there is a young girl who has the ability to 'travel' between worlds.
she follows the boy without being seen.
At the end of the dream, i am standing in the house with a man, he is telling me this story, when i find a pair of gloves i lost in the dream...
This was a very vivid and imaginative dream

----------


## Mystical_Journey

WOW!  ::shock:: 

Thats a really interesting dream you had irishcream, it seems to have lots of layers that could be attributed to having a creative and individualistic imagination. It sort of reminds me of some of the fantasy films I used to watch as a kid; 

*Dark Crystal* (people fighting a malevolent force in Another worldly place).

*Edward Sissorhands* _(Someone telling a story that is connected to the main character)_

*Labyrinth* _(The idea of a girl visiting two worlds to find her brother and defeat 'The Goblin King' and also the idea of having to decide between two doors etc)_

*The NeverEnding Story*  _(rip in the fabric of time i think i remember)_ 

And also a recent film I watched called *Spirited Away* _(the fantasy element)._

I could go into much more detail but would end up boring you (lol). The sort of stuff that is Indicative of archetypes that belong to the world of Mythology.

Your dream imagery appears to be really distinct, its like they have their own centre..each one conveying a different message in the subtext. My dreams usually focus on things that dont have a sense of depth or intensity like the one you describe above.

On a basic level the two worlds could be symbolic of the waking world and the dream world. 

I like the part about the rip in the fabric of time and how the boy has to lift the curse, it sort of has all the good characterstics of a childrens fantasy story.

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## irishcream

Thankyou for your comments MJ!  I am taking your suggestion into consideration, watch this space...

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## splash

loved your journal it is great.

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## irishcream

hey, thanks.  Even if it is a bit bonkers...i honestly DO dream about these things...i don't make it up,i swear!!
it's why i'm here!!

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## splash

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *hey, thanks.  Even if it is a bit bonkers...i honestly DO dream about these things...i don't make it up,i swear!!
> it's why i'm here!!*



 I ll take your word for it i mean i have some wako dreams  my self.

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## realcrucial

[quote]8/12/05

This dream takes place in two worlds, one which is as we know it, the other which is very similar to our own byt darker and more malevolent.
There is a rip in the fabric of time, which leads to a house under a curse.  A young boy has to break this curse.
At the heart of the house is an old lady, she needs rescuing.
the young boy travels through several rooms which are booby-trapped, he comes to two red doors.  One leads to death, one to life.
the boy finds the old lady and breaks the curse, leading her out of the house.
The key to breaking the curse lay in the movement of furniture and realising he wasn't alone.
He has glimpses of his own world.
Also, there is a young girl who has the ability to 'travel' between worlds.
she follows the boy without being seen.
At the end of the dream, i am standing in the house with a man, he is telling me this story, when i find a pair of gloves i lost in the dream...
This was a very vivid and imaginative dream


That's a really nice dream,  you should try to reenter if possible and see what it means.  That would be like WAYYYYYY cool.      ::muffin::

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## irishcream

I have considered dream re entry with this, but i don't think it really means anything, it's just my brain having a bit of fun!

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## irishcream

11/12/05

Dream of a bogus outdoor wedding.  Also, being in a block of flats.  Behind every door is an apsect of myself i am unwilling to face, i feel very uneasy throughout the dream.

I could have remembered a whole lot more if i hadn't had to get up for work, and also if i hadn't gone to bed stressed out.  No such problems tonight...at least, not for the second one!  :wink2:

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## irishcream

13/12/05
I dream that i'm pregnant, and that i have to move rooms in West Eaton.  I worry that the move will afect the baby.
curtis is in the dream and he is very reassuring.

Dream two
A woman is outside my front door, but needs to be at the house next to mine.  A man comes to check the locks and i tell her how scary it is to be broken into.
She asks if i know many people in Leominster and i say that i could die and no one would notice.
It is actually very scary, it happened to me less than a week ago...i think it's still playing on my mind, especially if i'm at home in the evening and it's getting dark...I wish i could have remembered more of my dreams last night...i need to focus on waking on asking myself what i was dreaming about, instead of letting my mind drift onto the things i have to do with my day.

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## irishcream

20/12/05
Well, hows that for a gap?  I've been working hard, having a lot of late nights.  Christmas is coming and i'm STILL not sorted out!  AGGGH! so, that's stuffed up my recall.  But, last night i did actually remember SOMETHING, so i've written that down

[list]*Two beehives in my back garden, this annoys me because i can't go out there, as i have a fear of bees...
*My nan phoning me to discuss my trip to America and being a pain in the butt generally.
*Being in the supermarket, my shopping comes to £13, and i only have £10.  This was very embarrassing! Because it's christmas, i'm planning a trip to america, so watching the pennies...
Also seeing foods i've never seen before from the Phillipines...
*Having to turn my rosebush in the garden around, i set it to climb up the side of the house.
*I see a news report that says Trevor McDonald, a former newsreader has died.
This was slightly alarming, as it felt really, really real.  I woke up and wondered if he had actually died!
*oh, and one last thing, i remember Graeme in a dream saying 'are you good liz?' and i recall wondering, in what way?
I told him that i was very good and he knew it!   ::shock::  errr...okaay...damn desire eh?  Anything that moves?  Come on, i have my limits!!!
[list]

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## irishcream

25/12/05
In a garden with a large oak tree at the centre, the tree is dying and some branches are missing.  I can't find a replacement.
this dream seems to have links with paganism...i wish i knew what it meant, and that i'd concentrated on it more when i woke up.
I recieved Stephen Laberge's dreaming book for christmas, so that is going to motivate me!!


Dream two
Two black dogs are outside my front door without an owner.  I am scared of them.

26/12/05
I dreamed i was at work, i had done the morning shift, but i was on a long day and i didn't want to do it.  Kelly was very angry.
One of the residents was due for a bath, he's known to be awkward so i was trying to avoid him.  He was refusing, and he was wearing scooby doo pyjamas and dressing gown.
Then i found myself above the ground, but i wasn't at work any more, i was at Gatwick Airport waiting for a plane, yet kelly was still trying to call me back.

Dreamsigns:  'Floating' above the ground.  Remember this and try to fly next time!!
A resident wearing strange clothing.  Look out for people wearing unusual clothing and perform a reality check.

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## irishcream

30/12/05
Well, it looks as though me starting to read Laberge's book has done something.  Or maybe i'm just concentrating more, i don't know...but if i carry on like this and learn to recognise signs, i'll be dreaming lucidly very soon!

I'm not sure if these two 'events' were mini dreams or advanced HI, but i remembered them on waking.  They just seemed a little vague.

missing a dreamsign
I am involved in a police investigation into a car accident, the case goes unsolved.
I am standing in June's shopt after closing time looking at all the knick knacks.
The phone rings and i answer it, it tells me i'm dreaming but i ignore it.
Perform RC when you hear a telephone ring at random points in the day...
Graeme and I are driving somewhere in his car.  i can't remember what he was talking about, only that the dream was very 'emotional.'
He touched me in an inappropriate manner, I told him about my boyfriend and he stopped.
Watching a news overview of 2005.  It talks about that gang leader turned novelist that got executed.  The dream shifts to two women sorting his clothes.  THere is one over sized jumper and one woman remarks that he lost a lot of weight in jail.
Perform RC's when things seem to 'switch'.  Try and recall how you ended up there.  RC when strong or unusual emotions are felt.

Dream after going back to sleep
I dreamed i was with Curtis and mum in a shop.
I bumped into two DC's who were my friends in the dream.  The woman was eyeing curtis up and i got jealous.
I was then walking up a hill past some houses.
A male DC called me over and we began chatting.
He began behaving inappropriately so i left. I then find myself at West Eaton at the end of my shift.  A flock of geese flies overhead and i am struck by the wonder of their formation.
A femal goodse breaks away from the group and flies down to me.
The rest of the group gets upset, as they are migrating for winter.  They begin calling for her by changing formations, becoming aeroplanes or balloons, anything connected with flight.
The formations gradually become more elaborate, at one point, they are two friends above the statue of the sphinx.
This was a very vivid dream.
Question your reality.  Learn to realise that it's always possible you are dreaming.  Keep an open mind.

----------


## Mystical_Journey

Very interesting dreams.....

They sound vivid, especially the last dream about the goose.

I guess if you focus on your dream-signs your progress will increase.

I really like the part about picking up the phone and the person telling you "your dreaming", that has yet to happen to me.

Keep focusing on the book "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming", its a classic book. I'm thinking about re-reading the book and making notes, perhaps we could talk about it?

----------


## irishcream

Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea!

----------


## irishcream

4/1/06

Dream fragments from the last few nights

[list]* my boyfriend's best mate keeps texting me over and over.  I think he wants to go on a 'date' but i keep refusing, i feel like he's a bit of a slimeball...
*My boyfriend trying to 'do things' with me, and me not letting him.
*my mother coming home from america to do nurse training
*my brother trying to make love to me under a duvet while my parents watched a gameshow on telly. even in the dream, this felt ridiculous!!
*Dreaming that i am ill in bed.  Outside it is raining heavily.  Mum says that i can't go to work with the cough that i have, and i am defiant.
[list]

I have been working really odd hours lately, so at the moment i am writing down what i can remember, even if they aren't whole dreams.  I think it helps to keep in the habit, so that recall doesn't disappear totally.  Also, i'm sure it'll get better in the next week or so, i probably won't be working quite so hard!!  Christmas is over, thank god.

----------


## irishcream

5/1/05

I dream that i am part of a cricket team, of which Kelly is also a member.  I'm on the side that is bowling and i'm nervous.
After the game, the whole team retires for a sleep in a big room.  I get close to one gentleman but kelly wakes up.

Dream fragments

[list]*My brother standing on a housing estate in a new school uniform.
*Meeting up with an ex work colleague, she talks about her new job and our new uniforms.
*Being back in my first interview with Graeme, and he's explaining all the different problems the residents have.
*Being with graeme when i am cooking.  He's kissing the back of my neck and my shoulder, i make him stop.
This last one is a subconscious thing in that i want to be close to someone i love..it's nothing to do with him exactly.  Although why my brain picked him, i don't know...

----------


## irishcream

6/1/05

Terrible dream about being late for work.  Kelly says its okay and there is a first time for everything.  Graeme is cross when i get there and don't pull my weight.  I do something very uncharacteristic and ask him not to be mean to me. (Like i'd ever do that in real life?!)  He says it's no less than i deserve.
curiously enough, HE was the one who overslept!!  And he was cranky...
In the next dream, Curtis and I are going to America, and it's me who's afraid to fly...now, what could that be about?  Maybe my fear of 'letting go, letting my hair down' as he puts it?  Probably.  I like order!
Curtis is standing next to me with no shirt on, and i feel immensely proud of him.

----------


## irishcream

7/1/06
Curtis and I are in the library.  He starts kissing me.  Things get very intense and he tells me he wants me right there and then.
A libriarian shouts at us to move.
When we get our glasses back, i find he's got mine and i've got his.
I seem to remember another DC in this dream besides the librarian and us two.  It was a young man, i think it might have been Curtis' best mate, and he was horrified about our antics.
It was all very intense, i think i questioned my circumstance, but not enough

*Dream Fragment.*
Curtis coming for dinner, but i have to cancel it.  I'm really upset by it.

----------


## irishcream

Well, my computer has conked out, so writing in here has become a little difficult. Here are my dreams from the last few days...

12/1/06
Very vivid dream of talking to curtis on the phone.  He's getting excited and it feels like he's with me.  I turn over and find that he is.
I feel frightened, because there are lots of poeple moving about downstairs.  A woman pops her haed into the bedroom and I fear that the game is up.  He tells me that i shouldn't worry, as nonone konws that he is there.  I ask why, and he says it's because he's a figment of my imagination.  I am filled with pure joy at this news and we carry on where we left off!!I've noticed over the last few days i am having a lot of 'erotic' dreams concerning curtis.  Whilst they are very nice, they kind of intensify the feeling that he's not with me...

13/1/06
A very vivid dream that occurs in Boots Chemist.  It's closing up time, and a gentleman walks in, dressed in a smart suit.  He says he wants some lingerie for his wife and he shows me a coffee-coloured bra and panties set.  I tell heim she must be very beautiful.
He asks me if it's good enough and i look at the label whcih says 'Gossard'.  I tell him he's made an excellent choice.  He asks me if i have a dressing gown to match.  I find it and then the telephone rings, waking me up.

2.  I went back to sleep after talking on the phone.  
I dream i am coming back from the supermarket when i find my path blocked by a six foot three fat man.
I get past him.
I find myself at the cross roads.  A red van stops to let me pass.  I find i can't walk very well.
I walk past the pub and see the fat man again, except this time he has no legs. 
I Think this is weird, being as I 'know' he had legs before.
Several times during this dream i questioned myself, but was unable to convince myself i was dreaming.

14/1/06

Apocalyps
I dreamed that the world was coming to an end.  I did a shift at work, then came home.
Throughout the dream, was a sense of fear and anticipation.  Out of the sky arose a computer generated transmission.  It stated that this would be the last transmission of earth.  It then exploded, leaving a black cloud.
Mum phoned from America.  I told her that the world was ending.  She talked about dogshows, and me changing to Apple instead of windows becase my computer was broke.
Outside the sky is getting darker.
I am finding that real life is crossing over into my dreams a  lot.  I need to reaffirm to myself that i fell asleep some hours previously when in a dream.
I've also started drinking Horlicks before bed and my dreams have become very vivid.  I wonder if this has anything to do with it.


17/1/06
I dreamed i was in an orphanage and a little child was behind bars.  In another part of the house young women were turning into mermaids.
One woman was finding it difficult.
I think t his dream repersents different aspects of myself.  The mermaids are symbolic of my transition from girl to woman.
The child could be representative of that part of myself that still exists, or a part of me that needs to learn to 'let go

18/1/06
Curtis and i are in a room together, doing thins to each other.  i end up doing something i've never done in real life, but would like to try.
I climb on top, and i'm just getting to a point of no return when a naked DC runs through the dream, putting me off...
during the dream the door was open, adding to a level of risk, which actually made it more exciting...maybe i should leave a window open...he he...

2.  My mum has come back from America to meet Curtis.  THey seem to get on well.  Mum talks about dogshowing and they go shopping.  The dream shifts and i am in Corn Square talking to Mark, a vicar at the local church.
As we are talking, i can feel his eyes on me, and i know he fancies me, but don't acknowledge this, because i'm not single, and he's a priest.  Somehow we end up in a room together and he's kissing me!!
I make him stop, or at least try to.  He climbs on top of me and starts pleasing himself.  I ask him what he's doing, and he says 'what does it look like?' trying to get me to participate.   ::shock::  
I shove him away and wonder if when i wake up from the dream mum will be there. see, there i go again, knowing i'm dreaming, but not checking it...must do reality checks.  this could also be indicative of how much i'm missing her...
He comes back to me, and starts kissing the side of my neck, i start crying, wondering how i'm going to tell Curtis.
I push him away again, and tell him about my boyfriend, and tell him i could never, ever cheat on him.
'So? that's a lie, your heart has confessed itself to me.  And anyway, this isn't cheating'
I tell him that's total nonsense.
He tells me that it isn't.  That he thinks about me, prays for me.  That he loves me.
He starts kissing me again, i begin to enjoy it and then start crying again.  He starts pleasing himself again, and i make him get dressed.
Mum walks in the door.  She has a gentleman with her, but she doesn't introduce us.  She says Curtis needs to get a life.  I ask where he is, she says feeding the parrots.
He comes into the room.  He's wearing a white sweater.  He tries to hug me, but i'm behind a huge highbacked chair and can't reach him.  Instead, he kisses his fingertips, and touches them to my mouth.  I smile and tell him i love him, all the while feeling very guilty.
This dream was weird and disturbing.  A couple of times i thought it must be a dream, but never questioned it.  I woke up feeling very guilty, and the emotions of the dream were still felt by me...
Also, i went to sleep telling myself 'anything that you see or hear in the next hour is a dream'.
I think that might have been why it was so vivid.

----------


## irishcream

More dreams from the last couple of days...

19/1/06
Trying to leave my house for work bt am unable to.
The house is full of dogs.
I go into another room, a kitchen.  A man tries to grab me, come on to me.  I push him away and he laughs.
Windows that i shut keep opening.
Throughout this dream was a mounting sense of frustration.

20/1/06

1. Dream of being at work. Bindhu has organised, it's a total mess and i blame myself.  Graeme agrees, and says it's not my fault.

2.  I am in Ludlow, looking at the castle.  It's a clear sunny day.
Beyond the castle is a Mountain.  Big and grey and imposing, mist wreathed about the top.
I stop walking to look at this natural wonder.
I watch the clouds shifting and changing.  Suddenly, they become dark, a plume of smoke begins to rise from the mountain.
Ash starts to fall from the sky.  I realise it's a volcano and it's erupting.
People start running everywhere.  I hide under the eaves of a church until it calms down again.
I know what this dream means.  It's representative of my emotional state, the fact that when i have a problem, i keep it all in and shut myself away from the people i know can help me.  The eruption is symbolic of the fact that i've just come through a very emotional time with my boyfriend, a time when i was terrified of losing him, but i've found that he's the one person who can support me totally, if anyone can.

----------


## irishcream

I dream i'm on the set of an 'orwellian' film.  Everything is dark and forbidding.  I have to watch men be exterminated, but not before they've faced their most basal desires.
One man is blindfolded, and a gun is pinted at his face.  He fears for his life until the gun is replaced by a woman.  He starts trying to have sex with her, the woman begs him to finish what he's started.
A machine takes over and sprays her with the blood of other victims, she starts writhing in ecstasy.
The machine then turns on the man and blows his head off.
[color=indigo]
Dream Fragments

I have no idea what that dream was about, or why i had it.  But it's the most vivid dream i've had for a long time.

----------


## irishcream

10/2/06
Odd dream.  On the set of Eastenders.  Cast members have a sort of 'flu bug'.
The barmaid from the Bluenote is trying to help them, I thinks she looks good in EAstenders.
I then find myself in a warehouse.  I ask a mechanic for a large hammer and chisel.  I go to work on the nearest wall.
A song starts playing in my head, 'si tu dois partir' by Fairport Convention why them???
There is a record player above my head.  I want to play the song, but have to fill in a form first.
As i'm doing this, Ancy comes out singing the song, and squeezes my middle.  She squeezes my pancreas and it hurts!!
now, i know dreams can be funny things, but i'd die if this dream was trying to tell me i had an ulcer or something...wouldn't that be odd??

----------


## irishcream

15/2/06
I am in a shop, it seems like it's a cross between a hardware store and a supermarket.  I get some items, it comes to just over four pounds cash.  When i get to the till, i want to use my debit card but realise i can't find it.
The dream changes to West Eaton, and i'm in the prep room which is a mess.I think there has been building work going on, but i also get a sesnse that a small child has been running around.  I feel annoyed and uneasy with the surrounding chaos.
Graeme walks in, i grumble about the mess whilst emptying my bag out looking for my debit card.
Graeme says that the same thing happened when 'sam' came along.
meaning his grandson, who is not called sam!  I think i need to try and realise in a dream that i am actually asleep, look for odd things.  Try and recall during the day how i arrived at a place and apply it to when i'm dreaming.  If i find i can't recall my journey, i'll know i'm dreaming!

----------


## irishcream

20/2/06
nightmare
I'm walking home from work when i spot two people fighting in the street, a man and a woman.  It looks pretty violent and i go up to see if everything is alright.  They say it's all fine, and it's only part of a sex game.  I walk on to my house.
I find my front door is wide open.  I walk in to find my house looks different, the carpet is a different colour but it's still my house.  I start wondering if this is a dream.
I look at the front door and realise someone has kicked it in.  I feel frightened that someone may still be in the house, or that things have been taken.
I move through to the living room to find it in total chaos, everything is a complete mess.
I start panicking, knowing i mustn't touch anything because it's now the scene of a crime.
I wonder whether to phone mum or the police first.
Throughout this dream, i had the feeling i was dreaming, it all seemed far too real and far too scary.  So i kept telling myself to walk out of the room and come back in again, and it would be a dream.  Somehow i couldn't achieve that, so i simply said that i had to wake up, and i did.  Thank goodness.

Dream two
I am going to work and Curtis is going home.  Work is different.  I find myself in a room of crafts, mainly knitting and needlework.
An old man asks me if i can repair his deceased wife's knitting.
Kelly asks me if I've forgotten anything and i say no.
She says I've forgotten to say goodbye to Curtis.
I run outside where it's beginning to get foggy.
The lamplight is hazy and i can barely see him in the distance.
I know I'll never catch him so i yell 'OI!! I FORGOT SOMETHING!!'
He runs into my arms and kisses me goodbye.  This was a romantic dream.

----------


## irishcream

20/2/06

I had two dreams last night, the first one is very vague.  I seem to be part of a computer game with a castle under a curse.  I wish i could have followed it better.  I think the telephone waking me up may have hindered this.
The second dream was much more vivid.

I am at West Eaton, and Curtis is there.  He's going home and i want him to make lot to me one last time.  we set ourselves up in a disused bedroom, there are African violets in the window.
We can't get it together, there's people milling about, care staff and cleaners.  Somewhere a television is blaring the morning news.
The other strange thing is that Curtis keeps morphing, Melanie and my mother being the most recognisable incarnations.
John turns up while 'Melanie' is there, and we complain we can't do anything.  John offers to join in, i say a flat no.
'Melanie' seems disappointed.

----------


## irishcream

21/2/06
Dream recall seems to be on the up the last couple of days...I'm going to try implementing some reality checks if it carries on

Dream one
I am outside west Eaton, there is a man hunting in the top field with a house and a dog.  They aren't hunting live game, but dead animal corpses.
The sight of him digging up dead animals horrifies me, but I'm too fascinated to turn away.
I then find myself with Curtis.  We are just about to get it together when the doorbell rings.  It's two people from an adoption agency.  I find it hilarious that we are both half dressed.
Dream two
I have just bought dogfood and am carrying it home on my shoulder.  I can't juggle my bag, hat and coat, and i become annoyed.  People are playing in the stream, which is muddy.  When they get out, the water is clear again.
I reach my house and find a freezer full of ice cream.  Most of it is out of date.
I go upstairs and Curtis is there.  My computer is doing strange things, i wonder if I've got a virus.  Curtis talks about going home late.

[list]
dream fragments
*Being in church
*Walking in a winter garden that has a single rose blooming
*Being with mum in Morrison's and getting a call from George saying I'm late for a morning shift
[list]

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## irishcream

Okay, i haven't written in this for a while, so here's a whole bunch of dreams I've had...

25/2/06
I am in my bedroom, with mum, Curtis and is sister.  Curtis is sleeping on a chair at the foot of the bed, and his sister is sleeping with me.  The night wears on and she makes a move on me, we have to be really quiet so we don't wake anyone up.
She does everything right and i enjoy every second, but still tell Curtis the next morning out of guild.  He seems quite upset and he wants to know if we swapped 'fluids' and i say no, which seems to make it better.  The dream shifts and i am going somewhere with my nan on a train.  I find it's an underground train, which i hate.
I feel trapped in the tunnel, trapped by all the people.  
The train stops and i get off because there's a phone call for me.  It's Curtis.  I speak to him for a while, and then try to board the train, but it makes off from the platform with nan inside.
I phone dad, who calls me an idiot.
We check train times but the next one is really late.
I felt like I'd been to the station many times before.

I went on holiday to America but i never took my dream journal with me.  Difficult to write in with a house full of people! So that explains the gap.

27/3/06
Standing on a deserted beach.  A woman rises out of the ocean.  She has long red hair and is perfect in every way.  She also has no cloths on and i find her very attractive.
She tries to beckon me into the water and i refuse.
All around her the water is calm, i feel calm looking at her.
She reminds me of Botticelli's painting of Venus.



31/3/06
Kelly and i are together and we're talking.  We're lying on my bed and she's snuggled up to me.
I laugh and say that if anyone saw us now they'd think we were together.  She looks at me puzzled and says 'well, aren't we?'
I tell her of course not, because Curtis and i are getting married.
She gets upset and asks why i don't like her.   I say it's not her fault, but that i just don't feel that way.
She's wearing her hair differently and i don't like it.
The presence of Curtis was very strong in this dream.

Dream two
Curtis and i are in America with my parents.  We go to see if they've made any changes to their land, and we find they' ve got a whole section devoted to a menagerie of weird and wonderful animals, one of them being a pig.
Everything is surrounded by a big brick wall, and a hard wooden door into the main enclosure.  I feel trapped, and want to find a way out.
Then the dream shifts and Curtis and i are back in England standing in a cloister of an old Church.  There's also a sweet shop and a bus stop.
There is a professional photographer and we decide to get our pictures done but there is a long queue, mainly families.
Curtis and i go and sit at a table.  A little boy is there.  I ask him his name, and he says he's called Ben and he smiles at me.  Curtis is smiling too.
ON the next table a child is throwing a tantrum and i wonder and worry about how it's going to turn out.
Curtis gets a call from a friend.  He has to go to Wales.
I am sorry to see him go, but i let him because i love him.
I give up on the picture and go to a dining hall.
I sit down to eat and a man sits next to me and tries to come on to me and i push him away.  He tries to carry me up a flight of stairs, but I'm too heavy.
I give up and decide to go back to Leominster.
Curtis sends me a text from Wales, saying he wants me to go to a library and he wants me to cast a spell and let him make love to me on one of the tables.
I notice that my phone is different and pick at the cover.
I am then walking home, talking to Curtis on the phone when i suddenly feel odd and faint.
I wake up surrounded by teenage boys on bikes and they help me up.
Curtis asks what happened and I tell him.  He says i should go straight home.

There were other dreams i had that i didn't write down, but my recall seems pretty good at the moment.  With the mobile phone, i think i was on my way to going lucid there...i need to try and start implementing more reality checks.

----------


## irishcream

Lucid dream from 5/4/06

The dream began normally enough.  I am walking along a street to a cash machine, draw my money out and keep walking.
I then find myself in the exact same spot doing the same thing again.  Then i think 'i don't need to do this again.'  So i head out onto the sidewalk and realise I'm in Louisville in Kentucky!
I also realise I'm dreaming.  I try to decide what to change first and look up to the sky.  It's grey, so i get blue sky, and warm sunshine.  Then  decide i can go one better and go to the beach.
So i walk to the end of the street and find myself on the beach.  My concentration slips and i wake up.
I had this dream while i was lying ill in bed.  I wasn't concentrating on dreaming, or falling asleep.  I was lying there trying to visualise something better than the situation i was in, and this is what i got!  WILD???

6/4/06
I'm sitting beside a train track with Curtis.  The body of someone i knew years ago is tied to the railway.
A train comes and runs over it.
I'm shocked, horrified and sickened by what happens.
I ask Curtis for support but none comes, i guess he's as shocked as i am.

Dream two
I am standing in the grounds of my old primary school.  A dog comes running up to me, a bloodhound called 'Bones'.
He's known to have behaviour problems.
I start stroking him and he grabs my wrist.  It takes two people to get his jaws off me.
I walk up to my father and tell him people shouldn't be allowed to keep animals like that.
Dad says i approached it all wrong.
Then I'm in a house, standing on a staircase.  Looking up at mum through a perspex window.  I'm trying to lip read what she's saying when two dogs jump up and begin to fall through
Everyone scatters.
I'm desperate to get upstairs to mum, but my legs are treacle.
When i do get there, my brother tries to trip me up and i wake.  As i wake, i realise it was all a dream.
[/u]

----------


## irishcream

11/4/06
I think i am back at work, but i'm actually at a public school.  It's confusing, as some of my residents are there.  I go out for a walk, and find the grounds are all different.
I'm also wandering around in the dark.
When it gets light, i find i am on top of a hill looking at a motorway signpost.
It says 'Newcastle' but the numbers of the miles are all fuzzed out.
I wonder how i got so far north, and what i'm doing there.
I also had various other 'mini dreams'.
*being at kelly's flat.
*Talking to mum on the telephone weird thing was, she just phoned me, and i was going to phone her later...like some kind of message.
*Talking to Curtis on the telephone, telling him how much i missed him.

----------


## irishcream

20/4/06

recall is all over the place lately, because i'm not concentrating!  Shame on me...

I am getting a lift home with kelly, Graeme, melanie and tess.
It's a beautiful sunny day, but there is some sort of tension between us all.
Graeme drops mel and i off at Paradise Court which is at the back of my house.
Graeme reminds me that i need to phone him abou thte time i had off sick so he can work my wages out.
Very odd sort of dream, quite vague, but it's a start.

----------


## irishcream

25/4/06

I am with Curtis and we are at my house.  I check my electric meter and there is only 12p on it.  We go into town and go to The Blue note for a coffee.
It's changed and become more Americanised.  I resent the fact that it's lost its cosy feel.
We leave and walk around town, i realise i think I've left my keys behind.
We go back.  As we are entering, two Indian girls are leaving.  I find my keys in my pocket.

----------


## irishcream

26/4/06
I am at my house, my parents and my brother are there.
They are preparing to go to a dogshow.
They leave and i find i am totally allone in the house. I feel nervous, but excited at the same time.
I  make a cup of tea when they leave.

 I know these entries are short, but my recall has taken a slide, and i'm just getting back into the habit of writing down whatever i remember.

----------


## irishcream

27/4/06

I am in Kwiksave, which i know can't be right because it's closed down.  i try to convince myself I am dreaming but it doesn't work.
I find Curtis near the front entrance on a bench.  We are cosying up together when i notice a licid purple bruise on his arm.
I touch it gently, he becomes excited.
Chitra appears, and i want her too.
Curtis is being pleased by her, this turns me on.
Graeme turns up, and is talking to George.  Chitra has disappeared.
Curtis is hiding behind me, trying to unhook my bra.  I feel like i have to keep quiet, as i don't want Graeme to notice that i'm there...
The phone rings and i wake up.

2. Curtis and i are in my bedroom, mum is lying asleep on the bed.  Curtis is preparing to make love to me, i worry about waking her.
dad comes into the room, checks mum over, and says she should be well enough for the second course, of what i don't know.
I feel very nervous and apprehensive in the dream, i feel like by making love to Curtis, i'm doing something disrespectful.

[color=indigo]When i remember them, my dreams seem to be very interesting, and these two are definitely open for interpretation.

----------


## irishcream

1/5/06
 I remember quite a few dreams from last night that i didn't write down, so i'm writing them from memory, which means they aren't going to be as clear!

Having the day off from work, and finding i have to go in for something.  I try to go home, until i realise that Kelly has included me in the organisation of the shift, which means i have to stay.
I feel very frustrated and annoyed by this, and also resentful of it.

----------


## irishcream

3/5/06

RECALL ON!!! For the first time in ages last night, i had a dream that i could recall vividly and with great detail!!! Lets hope that's the shape of things to come.

The dream begins with me in a resident's bedroom with a dogtor, he diagnoses cancer.
Kelly is downstairs in the office, i ring the bell and sue comes up.  She is very angry at Kelly.
The dream shifts and I am with my dad.  We are taking part in some kind of extreme sport like sky diving, but we are holding onto something round. Mandala?



It was a lot like this, except instead of the eye at the center, it was like a web, made of threads...kinda like a dreamcatcher, but without the feathers.

It's red and white, and made of the stuff used to make washing lines.
Something goes wrong and i lose my grip.  I fall and break my leg, and damage my knee cap.
My father checks to see if i'm alright and tries to reset my leg.
I tell him to leave it and take me to hospital.
Whilst in the hospital, i find out that my mum has cancer, and i feel very sad.
I come home, there's a message on the ansewrphone from Hilary, checking to see if i'm alright.

Dream two, after going back to sleep for 45 minutes
I am in the dark in the Grange, crawling aout from under a tree.  There are lots of stinging nettles.
Then i'm at work, and a lady has fallen and hit her head, everyone is panicking except me.
She has blood coming out of the back of her head, i ask for some tea towels to be brought from the kitchen.
The cook is the good looking irish doctor from Holby City.
He steps in a pool of blood and i tell him to watch out.

----------


## irishcream

I am on a train with Curtis when there is a bomb scare.  All passengers are instructed to evacuate, which means jumping from the moving train.
Myself and several others jump off and run away.  I look back and curtis is nowher to be seen.  I assume he's dead and become hysterical.
He appears later, totally fine, and i begin shouting at him for disappearing on me.
Then i'm walking down Drapers lane and i meet my brother who has a ery worried expression on his face.  My father is just behind him.
They want to know why i'm late back.  I tell him about the train, and that Curtis is fine.

----------


## irishcream

My dream recall is so sketchy, it comes when it comes...

15th/5/06
I am at work, in a courtyard, one of my residents is fixing his car when he starts clutching his chest.  I run into Graeme, and tell him what's going on.  he says I need to find some nitroglycerine.
I hunt everywhere for it, but don't find it.  I am scared byt remarkably calm.
I find the dream too terrifying and wake myself up.
 I find myself doing this alot.  Getting into a scary dream, and instead of changing it, i use my lucidity to wake myself up.  I must realise i'm dreaming if i think 'i have to wake up.  How can i get past this?  I woke up sweating, and very, very scared.  It brought back a lot of memories of my mother having a heart attack...

17/5/06
I am at work talking to Graeme.  He's telling me all about how he's laying carpets in his new house, that it's difficult because hte new house isn't tall.  He also tells me he found a 'carpet flattener'. He had a special term for it, but i can't remember it...
I ask him what he wanted it for.  He says it's because the carpet is uneven, and when he walks across the floor to watch football with a beer in his hand he trips up.
right...
I'm talking to relatives of a resident who has died, they say she was a sensible lady.  enough of death already....  ::huh2::

----------


## irishcream

31/5/06

Well, i haven't written in here for awhile, but that's because i haven't been remembering any dreams.  And the little i do remember i haven't been writing down, which is silly of me, i know.
Anyway, i've changed my sleeping pattern, so that i can wake up naturally in the morning and concentrate on my dream recall.
I usually get a phone call from my boyfriend coming off his nightshift, but i've asked him to forgo that for a bit, to see if things improve.  I want to have another lucid dream!
Okay, here's the dream...

I am in a big house, it's very posh and grand.  It seems like there is a party going on.
There are lots of instruments about the place, there is a Grand Piano in the centre of the room.  A girl i used to go to school with is sat playing it.  I notice she has very beautiful hands, and plays the piano very well.
She gets up, and i sit down at the keys.  Suddenly a famous person sits down next to me I'll be buggered if i can remember who it was...it might have been Christopher plummer, i think it was a television personality anyhow
I ask him if we can find a tune that two people can play, and he sets about having a look.
Then the dream shifts, and i find a fiddle.  I pick it up, and begin to play it, rather badly at first, until i manage to have everybody up and dancing.
Then chaos breaks out, and i realise i'm in the middle of a bank robbery, and the criminals are using the house as a hideout.
Everyone is taken to another part of the house to be hidden away.  It's very labyrinthine.  I find myself in what appears to be a basement, there is lots of boxes.  I find a paraffin lamp which i light, and then drop when i hear a noise.  some sacking catches fire,  but i manage to put it out.
I am then led upstairs, to some rooms.  There is a hallway, with many doors, many twists and turns.
I'm told that i must not leave my room, which i am sharing with another girl.  No one seems to know what is happening.

Odd dream, eh?

----------


## irishcream

1/6/06

I think i might have had a WILD this morning, but i'm not sure, it could have been a WBTB.  Basically, i was dreaming, and didn't like the content of the dream, so i decided to wake myself up and start again.  I was very careful not to awake fully, but told myself as i slipped off to sleep that when i next entered the dream world, i would be somewhere else.  I also specified that i wanted to dream about Curtis.  So that also sounds like dream incubation.  Well, it worked, and here is what i got!

I am at a hospital, mum and curtis are thre.  Mum is the ward sister, i am a nurse.  
Curtis is talking to mum about his sister who has gone to Jamaica.
She has been refused entry into the country because she's made a mistake on a visa form.
Curtis gets very upset and i try to comfort him.
Across the room one of the machines attached to a patient flatlines and i go over to help her.  She's having a heart attack.
She eventually comes back on her own.
I get upset by the fact that someone almost died in front of me and i go looking for curtis.
I can't remember where we were sitting but i see him having a coffee.
I go to collect my bag and i feel lost and confused.  I realis i'm in Morrisons' Cafe.
I think about continuing the dream but decide to wake up.
 Now, was that lucid, or not?
Well, i've just checked it out, and it sounds like that was a WBTB, with  WILD  straight after!

----------


## irishcream

2/6/06

partially sucessful WILD attempt

I woke up early again, stayed up for about three quarters of an hour.  I went back to sleep and told myself I wanted to see mum in my dream, and be in America.
Also to recognise that i'm dreaming by these two signs.
I did dream about mum, but i wasn't in America, and i didn't realise i was dreaming.

Me, mum, dad and peter are driving around in a car in England.  It turns out that mum is house hunting.
The house is in the middle of a forest.
Mum gets out of the car and starts taking pictures of the house, but she uses a very odd camera.
It's comprised of a set of weighing scales with a lens and flashbulb on top, and also a timer!
I think this is very odd, but don't question it.
On the way back from looking at the house, my brother gives me a sweet and i feel guilty thinking that the dentist is going to tell me off.
We also start talking about fishtanks, and mum tells me you shouldn't clean them too often.
GAHH!!!  There were about a million dreamsigns staring me right in the face, and i didn't see them.
i wonder if i maybe didn't stay up long enough, and was trying too hard for it.
But wouldn't it be wonderful to do that every night???

----------


## irishcream

14/6/06

Various dream fragments
I am going somewhere with mum and dad.  (I think it's a dogshow.)
We stop at a restroom and i realise i've forgotten to take my pill and that i can't take it without mum seeing.
At the show, i am sitting by a dog pen with a puppy  in it (which is very cute!) Mum comes back in a foul mood.
She says it's because the handler showing the dog has let it get away.
The dream shifts and i'm at work.  Graeme is in a flirtatious mood, and while I enjoy his attention i feel guilty because of Curtis. I wish it was saturday....
The dream shifts again and i find myself on an island, there are seals in the sea.
On the island i discover three Pharaoh hounds.
I'm very glad to have them as company, then a voice says that the ecosystem can't support them and they will soon starve to death.
I pull them close to me and start crying.
Then i wake up.

----------


## irishcream

15/6/06
Curtis and I have been reunited after a long time apart.
I don't know the reason for the deparation, but i know i am very happy to see him.
We are cuddled up in my bed ready to watch a film.
There is a woman next to the bed as well, someone i'm not afraid of.  She seems like a kind and gentle person, and she soon leaves the rom.
Curtis tells me that it's very relavant to us and our situation.
I sense that there is a Catholic tone to the film and it makes me nervous, but because he's there my happiness overcomes it.
I also sensed that the film was about two people that had been apart for a very long time and were reunited again.
I'm running my fingers over his skin, thinking how wonderful it is to be together.
Scenes from the film
[list]A man and a woman are in a bed and breakfast.  While the woman is sleeping, the man goes to the bedside cabinet and finds £100 in notes, and steals it.  The money was to pay for their holiday.
In another scene, a couple are on the beach, and having fun.  The man picks the woman up and throws her playfully into the sea.  She comes out lauging.[list]

----------


## irishcream

16/6/06
Leominster has been trashed by vandals.
I try to save some of the plants but something is killing them.
I find a little black kitten, because i want something to love.
Mum says it's a bad idea.
I am standing outside a building that says 'Honorary duty free'
I think it's odd at the time but don't question it.
There was loads more to this dream, i have the sense that it was very detailed and involved but i can't remember it, probably because i woke up suddenly.

----------


## irishcream

21/6/06
Curtis and I are at a fairground at night.
We are standing on a walk way and see something rippling through the sky. I told my boyfriend about this and he said it made him think of the Northern Lights
It's bright yellow and reminds me of a snake.
It seems to be moving quite slowly till it gets down to us and then the whole length of it rushes past.
Curtis is fascinated by it and asks if i'd like to get on it.
I say no.
I wonder if the ride is that fast all the way through, or if whne it's in the sky it's like a tour of the scenery.
We wealk through the fair and find mum sitting on a jetty near the water.
She talks to me but i don't remember what she said.
We walk away from her.
I then find myself in a darkened room, Curtis has gone and i feel uneasy.
Graeme and George are in this part of the dream.
Graeme seems cross with George, I think he wants to talk to me.



These two pictures give an idea of what i thought i was looking at.


this is what the rollercoaster looked like in the sky, except it was yellow.

----------


## irishcream

22/6/06
I am going to see Curtis, he is working in a boarding kennel.  When i get there, there's nobody there, so i go to an upstairs part and watch television.
For some reason, i feel very uneasy about my younger brother who is out playing.
He soon comes back.
Mum arrives and she takes me down to see Curtis.  I'm really happy to see him and give him a hug.
Mum tells me that before i leave i have to have a rabies shot, which is given to me by a vet!
Mum goes back to the kennels and we come back to my house where we meet Curtis' sister and his brother, who is seven feet tall.
Curtis doesn't have a brother...

----------


## irishcream

23/6/06
FOUR DREAMS LAST NIGHT!

Dream one
I am standing outside my house when a man in uniform comes up to me and speaks to me.  I feel very uneasy.  It's a nice day, and the sun is shining.  He takes me round the corner of my house Utterly impossible, being as my house doesn't do that to my 'supposed' next door neighbour. He knocks on the door, which i notice is white.
A lady comes out, she's very plain.  He asks her to tell me what she told him.
She tells me that even though she likes animals, and dogs in particular, mine are making too much noise during the day.   I accept this without saying anything.
The uniformed man takes me back to my house, and out to the back yard where i keep the dogs.  He says that the space i have for them isn't big enough, and that they are kept no better than animals in cages.  I think that he must not know what he's talking about, because their coats are all shiny and they are happy and contented.  But i don't say anything.
We go into my sitting room, and he says i shouldn't put them in a dog crate when i go out, because it's cruel.This dream was very vivid, to the point when i woke up i couldn't work out whether it was real or not, and whether someone had indeed complained about my dogs barking!  I have two, and although they bark to protect me, they aren't nuisances.  Maybe in this day and age of British intolerance it's something i unconsciously worry about?

Dream two
I dream that it's saturday and curtis is coming to see me.  I'm panicking because i've done no housework and he's knocking at the door. I feel afraid to let him in.
The house seems very dark, especially in the living room where i am standing. 
I let him in, and everything is the same as always, just fine.
yet another very vivid dream.  When i woke up, i was convinced it was saturday and that Curtis was coming.  Then i remembered that i have to go to work today...

Dream three
I am at work, and a training executive from an outside company has come in, to give us a team building exercise.
Kelly has to lead it.  The exercise is in evacuating people from an aircraft that is being forced to land at sea.
Kelly gets the briefing, and comes to me very distressed, because she doesn't know what to do.
I laugh at her and tell her that you organise it so that people use life jackets and the safety chutes which carry them down to the water.  I tell her not to worry because at the beginning of every flight a safety video is shown.
I am very shocked by Kelly's reaction.
We manage to pass it.
The trainer takes me aside afterwards and says to me 'i know you're not a happy woman just now, but it will come to you'
somehow i feel better when he says this. I think this has a lot to do with work just now, how i'm not happy and i want to go on to bigger and better things, but i have to wait just a bit longer.
Also, the shift is short, and it's all very disorganised.  I try to go home early, but someone catches me.

Dream four, after going back to sleep

Curtis and i are shopping in Kwiksavewhich isn't there any more
Curtis and i are getting cosy in my bedroom, there is a resident between us.  I fall asleep and wake up when it's dark, i think i've overslept.  It turns out it's two in the morning.
I explain it to curtis as being because we went shopping in the middle of the night.which is a totally crap statement to make, because if that was the case, i really WOULD have overslept!

----------


## irishcream

28/6/06
My parents and i are at a 'red barn' in America.
Roger has been chosen to be on a talkshow.  He tells me that he's going away tomorrow to get the back of his neck turned green.  I don't know what he means until the next day, when he tells me about the talkshow and how brilliant it was.
I then tell him i understand now what he meant when he said he was going to get the back of his neck turned green.
Matthew turns out to have had a secret mystery past involving the making of Titanic.  I find an old video tape, which shows him as being in charge of special effects, and that the dolphins playing in front of the ship at the beginning of the film were drawing chariots underwater!
I'm cooking shepherd's pie, and my dad tastes it, says it tastes wonderful but it needs a bit longer in the oven.  I'm shopping in Morrisons and i realise how much i miss my father's cooking.
I also get a job there, taking the place of a waitress that has worked there for fifty years.  I feel honoured by the position but also worried that i won't be able to do as good a job as her.
I find myself at work and Graeme calls Chithra and i into the office and thanks us both for all our hard work.
He gives us both a cuddle.  Chithra disappears and i wrap my arms round his neck, and i don't want to let him go.  
He makes me feel safe and reassured.  In this part of the dream i feel very sad and alone, and that he is the only solid thing i have.
This was a very odd part of the dream, it was very vivid.  It felt real.  On waking i originally felt guilty, having my arms around another man when i'm with Curtis, but then i realised it was only a dream and that it probably had more to do with missing curtis and wanting simple physical comfort than Graeme himself.  He's just someone my subconcious registers with.
I'm in a resident's bedroom, there is Laura Ashley wallpaper and curtains.
The pelmet that holds the curtain up is bent in the middle.
Graeme takes out the mechanism that holds it all in place, whilst it hangs there.  He says he's going to wait and see who's going to be stupid enough to pull it down without checking.
< this is what it looked like on the video, but you have to imagine dolphins rising out of the water, and chariots underneath.
< that's what the bedroom looked like, but with curtains to match.

----------


## Mystical_Journey

[quote]28/6/06
My parents and i are at a 'red barn' in America.
Roger has been chosen to be on a talkshow.  He tells me that he's going away tomorrow to get the back of his neck turned green.  I don't know what he means until the next day, when he tells me about the talkshow and how brilliant it was.
I then tell him i understand now what he meant when he said he was going to get the back of his neck turned green.
Matthew turns out to have had a secret mystery past involving the making of Titanic.  I find an old video tape, which shows him as being in charge of special effects, and that the dolphins playing in front of the ship at the beginning of the film were drawing chariots underwater!
I'm cooking shepherd's pie, and my dad tastes it, says it tastes wonderful but it needs a bit longer in the oven.  I'm shopping in Morrisons and i realise how much i miss my father's cooking.
I also get a job there, taking the place of a waitress that has worked there for fifty years.  I feel honoured by the position but also worried that i won't be able to do as good a job as her.
I find myself at work and Graeme calls Chithra and i into the office and thanks us both for all our hard work.
He gives us both a cuddle.  Chithra disappears and i wrap my arms round his neck, and i don't want to let him go.  
He makes me feel safe and reassured.  In this part of the dream i feel very sad and alone, and that he is the only solid thing i have.
This was a very odd part of the dream, it was very vivid.  It felt real.  On waking i originally felt guilty, having my arms around another man when i'm with Curtis, but then i realised it was only a dream and that it probably had more to do with missing curtis and wanting simple physical comfort than Graeme himself.  He's just someone my subconcious registers with.
I'm in a resident's bedroom, there is Laura Ashley wallpaper and curtains.
The pelmet that holds the curtain up is bent in the middle.
Graeme takes out the mechanism that holds it all in place, whilst it hangs there.  He says he's going to wait and see who's going to be stupid enough to pull it down without checking.
< this is what it looked like on the video, but you have to imagine dolphins rising out of the water, and chariots underneath.
< that's what the bedroom looked like, but with curtains to match.

Interesting variation of dreams   :smiley:  

I really like the one about the making of the Titanic and the dolphins drawing chariots underwater (evokes really strong dream imagery).

Your dreams are always "out of the ordinary" and "exciting" to read (even if i dont always leave a reply).

Look forward to reading the next   ::D:

----------


## irishcream

sorry to disappoint you, but with being yanked out of bed at a quarter to five this morning, no dreams were forthcoming.
I seem to have a vague recollection of being at an auction house, but what i was doing there, i have no idea!
did try to remember, but it wasn't happening.  Maybe there'll be something tomorrow...

----------


## irishcream

Well, over the last couple of days it seems my recall has decided to come back in again.  I wonder if there's a way to keep recall up even if i have to be woken by an alarm or get broken sleep?

7/7/06

I'm on a plane to America, but it's very low flying.  As i'm going along, i can see the change of scenery from England to the United states.
when i hit San Francisco I realise how far away i am from home.
Mum is going to a dogshow, and is stressed out because she has so much to organise.
The dogs are outside in my backyard and it's raining, i have to bring them indoors.
I remember meeting a young boy and feeling like i wanted to be romantically involved.
Mum is cross about something.,
Mum comes back to England but i don't know why.
This dream was fragmented because i got woken up by an alarm, and i didn't have time to write it down properly.  However, being as it was the first dream i'd recalled in quite a few days, i thought it best to write down whatever i could remember.





8/7/06
In the first part of the dream i am looking round a craft shop, but i can't remember what for.
I know it's a very big building with very high ceilings.
I then find myself at work.
Graeme pulls up in a builders van, which i find very unusual, but don't question it. maybe if i see a builder's van today, i should do a reality check.
when he gets out, i realise he's had all his hair and beard cut off.
I am shocked, but also suprised at how attractive he looks.
A workmate says it takes ten years off him.
To me he looks like a cross between Billy Connoly and the lead singer of Marillion.
He says he regrets getting rid of it all, i tell him it looks nice.
Later on in the dream, he seems upset and i find out that he's split up with his wife and i send him home.
The dream changes and i am with Curtis in a shop.
I am looking at gravel for a fish tank, but it's all too expensive.
Then i find myself with him in what appears to be a large lounge, the lighting would be best described as moody.
Curtis is looking at a glass topped table.  It has a map of the world which says that the time difference between the US and the UK is seven hours, which i know is wrong.
I do recall feeling a bit odd in this part of the dream, thinking that something wasn't quite right...
On a leather sofa is a blonde woman, she is a friend of my mothers.  In the dream she tells me her name but i don't remember it on waking.  I shake her hand, and it's very cool.
I ask her what she's doing in England and she says she's on the run from the FBI.
I am shocked that my mother is friends with a wanted criminal.


Come to think of it, there's an uncanny resemblance...
 ::shock::

----------


## irishcream

12/7/06

Dream one
I'm in America with Curtis, we are in a house that is very high up.
We are in a large room with large windows, and i feel very apprehensive.
Mum and dad are at a dogshow.
At some point in this dream, Curtis and i are in bed together, and people keep walking past the door.  I find the thought of being caught very exciting.
On the wall is a blackboard with smudged yellow chalk saying 'curtis loves liz' over and over.
Mum and dad come back, and they tell us that they killed the weed.
Looking out of the window, i see a large plant growing on a neighbouring roof and assume that must be what they are talking about.

Dream two
I'm in my house here in England and i've run out of Electric.
I have to get more, it's raining and snowing, and very cold.
Halfway to the bank i realise i've forgotten my purse.  I also notice that my local Holland and Barret has closed down, and that it's on totally the wrong street, but i don't question it.
I see a presentation on a television in a shop window about working in america, and realise it's harder than i thought.
I think about how many friends i could make.
I check my bank balance, and i realise i had more than i thought.
Yet again, i thought it was odd, but didn't question it.

the second dream was a sort of wbtb, because the details of the first one was sketchy.  so i thought i'd go back to sleep and dream something else, which i did.  However, when i woke up, the details of the first dream were clearer, which goes against the theory that if you wake, remember a dream and go back to sleep without documenting it you forget.
It isn't the first time i've done it either...i must try wilding again...

----------


## irishcream

13/7/06
Curtis and I are in a themepark, it reminds me of Cypress Gardens in America.
I'm left on my own to look around, Curtis gives me his Lou Reed Cd to listen to.
I then find myself back in England with mum and dad, the weather is grey and gloomy.
I get a phone call from work and i agree to go in.
Then it's the next day, and i realise i can't make it because i'm helping mum with the dogs, she has a new litter of puppies.  I look at the clock and realise i could leave the house at quarter to two and make it.
She says i can't go, but i tell her i'm going anyway.  I accidentally leave a door open, and all the dogs run inside the house.
Mum is annoyed.
We walk into the house, still arguing.
Mum is walking up the stairs, and i see she has a gun in her hand.
I'm pretty sure that if i keep arguing with her, she's going to shoot me with it.


I have totally no idea what that's supposed to mean...Curtis says i have to go figure it out for myself, but i can't.  I've never dreamed about someone weilding a gun, and certainly not my mother.

----------


## irishcream

20/7/06 

Since beginning a new handwritten dreamjournal, i&#39;ve decided on a different format for writing down my dreams.  I am hoping that this will help to improve my recall, and enable me to spot dreamsigns more easily, as i&#39;m now going to make a more conscious effort to write them down and pay attention to them.

I had two dreams.

1.

Location: Indian Restaurant
People in dream: Me, mum, dad, Johnny (Curtis&#39; best mate), various other customers.

Feelings/emotions: Anger, disgust, self-loathing, irritation.

Strange objects: A bowl of chocolate pieces, internet screens mounted on walls.

I am at an Indian restaurant with my family, out for a meal.
I come down from an upstairs apartment where i have been getting dressed.
I know i&#39;m wearing a full length gown but i can&#39;t see it.
I also realise it must be pretty stunning because all the men in the room are staring.
My parents compliment me on my dress, when i suddenly feel li&#39;m being watched.
I look over to thenext table and Johnny is sat there with a bunch of lads.
Behind his table is a netscreen, detailing a forum about werewolves and other paranormal things.
In front of him is the biggest bowl of chocolate i&#39;ve ever seen.
I&#39;m tempted and take a piece.
He starts chatting me up and i walk away annoyed.
My parents ask if everything is ok, i just tell them he&#39;s being a dickhead.
We finish our meal and leave.
I tell them i&#39;m glad i&#39;m visiting Curtis at the weekend.
The scene changes to an apartment.  There is a bathroom off to my left.  In front of me is a large internet screen which i&#39;m idly flicking through.
I&#39;m lay back on a bed, still wearing my dress.
I&#39;ve got a headache.
Johnny walks in and raises an eyebrow at me lying on the bed.
I basically tell him to piss off, that i&#39;m in love with Curtis.
He says he has the cure for my headache and tries to touch me.
At that moment, my parents walk in the door, coming back from a show.
I ask daddy who won, and he says &#39;Blane&#39;.



2.
Location: Coronation street
Characters: myself, a blonde woman, Mike Baldwin
Feelings/emotions: fear, dread, apprehension.
POV: third person.
Strange objects: silver gun, one bullet (again)

This dream was strange because I never dream in third person.

I&#39;m on the set of Coronation street.  There is Mike baldwin and a blonde woman in the Underworld factory on the set.
The blonde woman is talking about a door hinge that needs fixing.  Mike says he&#39;ll do it, but se says he mustn&#39;t because of his heart.
Next to the door is a radiator.
On the radiator is a packet of cigarettes.  The woman starts shouting at him, telling him he shouldn&#39;t be smoking after a a heart operation.
She gets more angry.
The scene shifts to a bedroom/bathroom.
She pulls out a gun intending to kill him, but decides to set it on a timer to make it look like suicide.
I suddenly realise i can&#39;t speak but can communicate telepathically with him.
I tell him to ask her what she&#39;s going to do when the police come and ask questions.
She says they&#39;ll think it was suicide.
He asks her what she&#39;ll do when they find her fingerprints.
She raises the gun and i lose the connection.
I realise there&#39;s nothing i can do to save him.
Hey&#39;s lying prostrate across the bed, shouting &#39;Maud&#33;&#39; over and over again.
Around my feet are loose chips of marble, as if there&#39;s been a struggle.
I wake up.

[/color]This is the second gun dream i&#39;ve had, and i cant&#39; figure out the symbolism of it.
[color=#6600CC]

----------


## irishcream

I wish i had written these dreams down when i got up this morning, but i didn&#39;t really have time.  They were far more vivid when i first woke up... 

There were no fixed locations for this dream, i kept switching all the time.  I hate it when i do that, and don&#39;t realise it&#39;s a dream.

Location one
In the garden of Bet Lynch&#39;s (Coronation street) posh house.  I have a cat that&#39;s died, and i choose to remember it by putting a candle in a yellow rose bush.



Other people:
There was a DC in the dream that i can&#39;t recall, i get the feeling i know them.

Oddities/strange occurences: Putting a candle in a rose bush&#33;

The DC and i are sneaking round in the garden, the lights are on in the house and the curtains are open.  It&#39;s an overcast, dull day.
The DC is rushing me to hurry up and leave, but i&#39;m trying to find the perfect spot for my candle.
I find it and light it.
We get caught, and Bet wants to know why we are trespassing.  I tell her about the cat and she takes pity on me and leads me into the house.
Something else happened in here but i can&#39;t remember what.  I do remember polished wood floors, a staircase and feeling very warm and at ease.

Location two
With my nan at what i assume is her sheltered housing complex.

Characters:  Me, my nan

Odd things: Diseased pansies.

My nan is talking to me about the pansies that granddad planted before he died.  She says they have a disease that is killing the root.
She did tell me the name, but i forgot.
She lives in a nice estate, and the sun is warm on my back.

Location three
England, somewhere.

Characters: me, mum, lots of dogs&#33;

I&#39;m visiting mum for a holiday.
She lives in a tiny house with too many animals.
I feel a trapped and suffocating atmosphere.
Outsied its raining, and the garden is all churned to mud.
Mum lets the dogs out and wants me to help.
I stand in a doorway with my arms folded and feel sick and miserable that i&#39;ve gone back to something i thought i&#39;d left behind.

This dream felt really horrible...the emotions in it were quite genuine, and i think they say a lot about how i feel about some of the things my mother seems to be thinking in regard to me, and how i see things differently, but she can&#39;t necessarily understand that, or doesn&#39;t want to.

----------


## irishcream

30/7/06 

No fixed location for this dream.

I dream that mum has put an extra £100 in my account so i can buy a new fridge.
To lay my hands on the cash, i have to go to the Library and draw the money out.
However, when i get there it&#39;s set up like a post office, and the woman at the counter says i can&#39;t draw the money out as my chosen form of ID is unacceptable.
I show her my passport.
I feel very annoyed and frustrated by this.

Second dream

This dream was much clearer.

Location: West Eaton, resident&#39;s bedroom.

Characters: Resident, her visitors, me.

Odd Items: Fruit of the Loom pants (with fruit logos on&#33 :wink2:  and an &#39;almost&#39; winning lottery ticket.

Feelings and emotions: Distinct &#39;odd&#39; feeling and a sense of unreality, almost as if i knew there was no possible way i was supposed to be there.

I am in a resdient&#39;s bedroom with herself and her realtives.
I have been in this room many times before in my dreams.
I go into it quite  lot in real life for my job.  Perhaps i should start performing a reality check when i go in there.

the relatives are a man and a woman, i don&#39;t recall what the woman was talking about.
Suddenly, the man runs in.  I assume they are husband and wife.
He&#39;s wearing Fruit of the Loom underpants, but the strange thing is, they actually have different types of fruit on them.
When am i going to learn to Rc odd things???
He&#39;s waving a lottery ticket.  His wife is disappointed when he tells her they only got four nymbers.  He says he &#39;lost&#39; the other two.
I tell her it&#39;s better than nothing.
My brain kicked in here because you don&#39;t &#39;lose&#39; lottery numbers.
Isn&#39;t it strange how these two dreams were both about money?  It&#39;s probably because i have to buy a new fridge&#33;&#33;&#33;

----------


## irishcream

2/8/06

Dream one

Location: The pedestrianised bridge into Leominster

Feelings/emotions: Annoyance

Strange items/events:  A blue lorry, and driving.  Again.

I am driving a blue lorry over the pedestrianised bridge into Leominster.
The weather is very sunny, and quite warm.
The lorry gets a puncture and I have to call someone to come and fix it.  An old man comes and puts it on a car jack.
I wake up.
I wonder how i could do a reality check, because this isn&#39;t the first dream i&#39;ve had about driving a car lately...maybe if i see lorries, or Graeme&#39;s car, i could check to see if i&#39;m dreaming or not?

Dream two

Location: West Eaton, at the top of the Nursing staircase

Feelings/emotions: sadness, despair

Odd occurences: comforting a resident&#39;s daughter.  This would be fine, but for the fact that the resident in question never had any kids....

A resident has died of a heart attack and i am comforting my daughter.  I know in the dream this isn&#39;t possible because the woman is alive and has no children.

I seem to dream quite a lot about people dying as well...maybe i need to somehow realise i am dreaming in these dreams and change them for the better...

----------


## irishcream

4/8/06 

Location: Could be West Eaton, also my house.

People/Characters: Myself, &#39;supposed&#39; ex schoolfriend

Strange events:  This schoolfriend is trying to sleep with me.

Feelings/emotions:  Guilty, ashamed, resentful.

I&#39;m alone in the house and missing Curtis.  I get chatting to an old schoolfriend.  I realise we&#39;re attracted to each other, he starts trying to turn me on and succeeds.
I realise it could go too far and push him away telling him there&#39;s no way i could betray Curtis.  I feel angry that another man can make me feel similar things to Curtis.
He eventually walks out, leaving me alone.
Outside it&#39;s very cold and dark.
I have a terrible feeling of guilt in the dream.

The dream switches to next morning, he apologises for his actions of the night before, i feel guilty again.
I find myself at work with lots of new admissions.  I have to book them all in and the stress is getting to me.
I start making mistakes and forgetting things...

----------


## irishcream

5/8/06

Dream one

Location: Outside a castle on a hill, turrets, drawbridge and flags

People: Lots of people dressed in period clothing.  Looked like the time of Henry VIII

I am standing at the bottom of a hill, on top of the hill is a castle, the sky arches overhead.
There are lots of men and women dressed in period costume from the time of Henry VIII.
They are making fun and revelry.
they don&#39;t appear to notice me standing there, dressed in 21st centry clothes.
I feel very happy to be witnessing something so grand, like i&#39;ve stepped back in time.
I feel like i&#39;ve had a glimpse into the past.





Dream two

Location: Leominster, Broad Street, Bus Shelter, Buttercross arcade.

People:  Me, kelly, lots of foreigners waiting for a bus.

Kelly an I are at the bus shelter, waiting for the 8.10 bus to take us to work.
I ask her why we are taking the  bus to work when we usually walk.  She doesn&#39;t answer me.
we almost make it, but just miss it.
Kelly says we can catch another bus by the library.
The dream shifts and i&#39;m walking up Broad Street, I have my mind on a bar of Dairymilk in my bag.
I meet Kelly by Buttercross arcade.
There are lots of foreigners waiting for the same bus.
Kelly asks me why i went the long way round.

----------


## irishcream

7/8/06 

Location: Various locations including my local church, public toilets and train stations.  Also a block of flats.

People: Lots of people i don&#39;t know.

Odd occurences: the way the dream seemed to keep changing location all the time.

I dream that i am going to the funeral of someone i looked after.
It&#39;s a big service in the church, and someone tells me it&#39;s going to take two and a half hours.  There is a beautiful coffin and lots and lots of flowers.

I decide that now might be a good time to go to the toilet, before proceedings get underway.  I follow the signs for the ladies&#39; bathroom, but they only lead me to the men&#39;s.  By this time i&#39;m really desperate to go so i think &#39;sod it, a toilet is a toilet&#39; at the same time being fascinated by the fact that i&#39;m in here at all.
I have just sat down and am concentrating, when a small black man walks in and says i shouldn&#39;t be there, and throws me out.
I walk out of the bathroom and find myself on a train platform, i&#39;m pretty sure i&#39;m in London.  I&#39;m really irritated by this time, and a lady directs me to the women&#39;s toilets.
I try to go in there, and i find myself standing on a staircase in a block of flats.  On the landing is a little girl, who from the back looks just like my boyfriend&#39;s niece.  I call her name and she turns round, i find it&#39;s not her.  The parents are there, but off to one side a bit.  I have a word with them and tell them they shouldn&#39;t leave such a young girl out by herself in such a place.
I leave the block of flats and find myself back at my house.  On the way back to my house i bump into my dad, exchange a few words with him and wonder where he&#39;s going.  I suspect to the pub.
I come home, and mum isn&#39;t sat in front of the computer like she usually is.  She appears and tells me she&#39;s phoned into work, that she can&#39;t be bothered to go in today, and she asks my brother and I if we&#39;d like to go somewhere.  We can&#39;t decide where we&#39;d like to go, so she suggests Devon and i say we&#39;d never get there and back in a day.
The dream ends and i wake up.

I woke up from this dream feeling shattered, i literally felt like i&#39;d been running around all over the place&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

----------


## irishcream

9/8/06 

Location: West Eaton, a school bus

People: Me, Graeme, Melanie, George.  Lots of &#39;pupils&#39;.

Odd events:  A schoolbus picking me up from work?

I&#39;m at work getting a telling off from Graeme, I feel angry and upset, he&#39;s blamingme for everything that goes wrong.
Mel and I step outside, she asks where the bus is, I ask her what shes&#39; talking about.
Just as i finish speaking, a double decker bus comes round the corner.
We get on.
There&#39;s barely a seat to sit on.
I look round at all the people on the bus.  I see an older woman with a younger lad of about fifteen, and realise they are having a &#39;pupil-teacher&#39; relationship.
I feel surprised by this.
I find the whole situation of being on a bus full of schoolkids odd, but don&#39;t realise i&#39;m dreaming.
I&#39;m eating a quiche that Melanie has given me.
She shouts over to me to watch George eating.
I lok over and tell him he shouldn&#39;t eat with his mouth open.

----------


## irishcream

11/8/06

Location: Stoke on Trent, big block of flats.

People: Lots of people i don&#39;t know, my brother, my dad.

Odd occurences: open plan classroom.

I dream i am in Stoke, i am looking at a block of flats, trying to guess which window is Curtis&#39;s.
I can&#39;t tell, so i go inside, where it&#39;s a hive of activity.
There are businessmen on mobile phones, eople rushing about.
I walk up a flight of stairs, still intending to find Curtis.
I walk into an open plan classroom, i think about how education has changed.  I think it&#39;s peculiar, but don&#39;t question it.
I start to leave the classroom, when my eyes see a poster on a noticeboard.
My brother is rehearsing for a play, so i go to watch that.
I find the stage and stand behind the actors, putting my bags (which weren&#39;t there before) on the floor.
The rehearsal finishes, and a doctor calls me over.  She looks at my joints and tells me i&#39;m in the early stages of arthritis and that how the disease affects you depends on your attitude.

I wonder if that&#39;s a sign that i&#39;m feeling crippled in waking life, and that maybe i&#39;m having the wrong attitude to it, which is making it worse...

----------


## irishcream

15/8/06 

Location: My house, the street outside my house.

People in the dream: Me, Graeme, people on the street, an epileptic child.

Feelings/emotions: Annoyance, fear, relief.

Odd things: Graeme in my house.

I&#39;m in my house when there is a knock at the door.  It&#39;s Graeme, and I ask him what he wants.
He doesn&#39;t say anything and walks straight into my sitting room.
I get annoyed and repeat my question.
He ignores me and begins talking about the cobwebs on my ceiling.  He eventually leaves, without answering my question.
Throughout the whole encounter he is laughing and i don&#39;t feel comfortable having him there.
I follow him into the street.
A young boy wearing what appears to be a crash helmet is crossing the road.
He falls down sudenly and begins twitching.
I rush over and realise he&#39;s having an epileptic seizure.
I feel relieved that i did my first aid not long ago.
His mother phones an ambulance and thanks me for my assistance.

----------


## irishcream

18/8/06 

Location: In town, in my house, in a shop.

People: Me, Curtis, dad, people in a shop.

coming home on a red double decker bus, I try to get off at my stop and get my hand caught in the door.
The bus driver doesn&#39;t want to let me off, and i get scared of being dragged along the road.
I eventually get off and am standing outside the Factory Shop which is closing down.
I go in to have a look round.
I think about buying something and check my purse to see how much money i have.
It seems that I have stickers instead of money in my purse which i&#39;m sure won&#39;t work.
I start talking to the shop assistan and ask her why they are closing down and she says it&#39;s because of new owndership.
I leave the shop and notice that a posh bistro is being built next door, i think that i&#39;ll take Curtis there sometime.
I walk on till i get to my house and then check my phone to see if there have been any messages.
When i pick the phone up, i realise there&#39;s still someone on the line.
I find it&#39;s my dad, and he&#39;s cross with mum for not hanging up because it costs a fortune.
I ask how he is and he tells me that something happened to him which stops him feeling pain.
I suggest that he might have had a strok.
The dream shifts to a vague image of Curtis and I, doing stuff.
It feels really good, but i&#39; worried about my parents walking in.

----------


## irishcream

24/8/06 

Location: Leominster&#39;s knitting shop, America and mum&#39;s house.

I go into my local wool shop, loking for a darning needle.
It&#39;s taking me ages to find one and the owner of the shop comes to help me.
I find a darning needle and talk to her about my cardigan.
She congratulates me on being nearly finished.
A young woman comes in and buys some very unusual wool.
I&#39;m surprised to see someone else of my age knitting.
I go out of the shop and realise i&#39;ve left my purse behind.
when i go back the young girl is looking through it.  I get it back and go outside, and the dream shifts.
I&#39;m with mum and dad in America, mum shows her the dogs and her new porrot who doesn&#39;t talk but makes a lot of noise.
I tell her that mine is quieter, she says it&#39;s because he&#39;s not a people person.
The scene shifts and i find myself going to a funeral but it&#39;s held in the house and the man concerned is still alive.
After the funeral, my filling comes out of my tooth and i tell dad about having to go to the dentists.

----------


## irishcream

1/9/06

I&#39;ve actually had loads of dreams over the last couple of days, but haven&#39;t been writing them down.
I don&#39;t know...when i can&#39;t stay in bed, i moan that i can&#39;t write my dreams down.
When i can stay in bed, i get lazy&#33;&#33;&#33;

anyway.

This dream is a bit sketchy.

Location:My house

People/characters: Me and Curtis.

I&#39;m in my bedroom, watering my plants when i notice that one starts to grow and shrink at an alarming rate.
I also realise one is dying from lack of water.
I out it in the sink, and it turns into a can of hairspray.
At this point, i try to do a reality check which fails.
The can of hairspray did turn back into the plant when i looked at it but i didn&#39;t cotton on.
I go downstairs and Curtis is in the kitchen.
He&#39;s arrived early at my house.
He starts rubbing himself up against me, we both get very hot and bothered.
I want him htere and then, but he says he hasn&#39;t had any sleep and needs to go upstairs.
I wonder if i&#39;m dreaming again and think about checking to see if he&#39;s there, but i don&#39;t&#33;

This dream probably came about as a result of talking to him before i went back to sleep.
And the fact that i only see him once a week, and wonder what i&#39;m going to do when i get my hands on him...  :wink2: 

there was also another fragment about being at work, and talking to Graeme about something, but i don&#39;t remember what.

----------


## irishcream

15/9/06 

Location: work, also a place i don&#39;t recognise.

People/characters: Me, Curtis, mum, dad, people from work.

Feelings/emotions: fear, guilt, anger, desire.

I&#39;m at work and a resident&#39;s condition gets worse.  It&#39;s agreed that she has to be taken into hospital.
I go upstairs to get her things together and get distracted by my knitting.
I go down with her false teeth and talk to the ambulance crew.
They say she might not make it.
The ambulance leaves and a coach pulls up, it&#39;s only then i notice all the people with suitcases.
The coach driver apologises for being late, and i wonder what the people will do if they miss their flight.
Curtis is there to lead me back inside.  I walk past a woman with red hair, when she looks up i see she&#39;s been crying.
Curtis takes me to a corner of the house and kisses me.  In the dream we haven&#39;t been alone all weekend because my parents have been around.
Mum comes in and orders me to start tidying up.
I get cross and begin to do so.
Later on, Curtis and I take a walk to somewhere private.  I make him promise to make love to me when we get back and my folks are asleep.
He finds a disuses warehouse and tries to lead me inside.
I pull back knowing  the doors are on time locks.
He almost gets his hand trapped.
Going back to the house, i speak to my father about his refrigerator, how he should make sure the water channel is kept clear so it can keep defrosting.

----------


## irishcream

lucid dream&#33;&#33;&#33;


I had the first lucid dream in ages, my last one was back in July.  I think it&#39;s because i&#39;ve had a cold the last couple of days, and this afternoon i was really tired, and went for two one hour naps, one after the other.

In the second nap, i could actually feel myself entering the dreamscape, kinda like slipping into a warm bath.

I&#39;m walking home from work.  It&#39;s dark, and i&#39;m listening to the radio.
A whole gang of young men appears out of nowhere and i realise they are going to beat me up.
One of them punches me hard on the shoulder.
I start yelling for help as they are beating me up.
Then i get away and start running.  I&#39;m running a lot easier than i would in real lidfe, and then i realise that it&#39;s a dream.
I shout back at the men.
&#39;It&#39;s a dream, you can&#39;t hurt me&#33;&#33;&#33;&#39;
They yell at me to prove it, so i put my finger through my hand.
(yesss&#33; it actually worked&#33 :wink2: 
I&#39;m still scared at this point, and i&#39;ve reached my front door.
I know graeme is in the house, so i start hammering on my door but i&#39;ve got gloves on so he cant hear me.
I begin to panic, and then remind myself that it&#39;s only a dream.
I let myself in, the guys follow.
I ask graeme to tell them it&#39;s a dream, he says he can&#39;t do that it&#39;s not his dream, and hands me some paperwork.
I lose lucidity a bit here, but my focus is still clear.
the paperwork is a collection of my drawings, stories and poems.  I feel touched that he&#39;s kept them.

----------


## Jess

> _Originally posted by irishcream_
> *I had the first lucid dream in ages*



Fair whack to ya, head&#33;  ::breakitdown::

----------


## irishcream

19/9/06 

Well, being as i&#39;m on a fixed run of lates the rest of the week, i&#39;m hoping to really bump up my recall some more&#33;

I remembered a dream from last night.

Location: A university college hall, work.

People: Me,curtis, university students, Graeme.

Curtis and I are in what appears to be a university hall.  It seems to be Valentine&#39;s day, there is a celebration of love.

All couples have to pass under an arch and declare their love.  Afterwards there is a party but Curtis is late.
The lecturer says he doesn&#39;t usually go to parties.  I say he&#39;ll go to this one cos i&#39;m there.

She aks if i&#39;ve seen Johhny and i say no.
Sh ethen asks if curtis has ever smoked any pot, and i tell her i&#39;m not answering that question.

The dream shifts and i&#39;m in the shed with Graeme, he tells me he wants to sit there all day, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.

----------


## irishcream

24th/0/06 

I am in an airport departure loucge with my parents and brother.  We are going back to America.
(How, I never lived there?)
I notice that the departure lounge connects directly to the plane.  I find we are also in first class.
I go back to the lounge and start panicking about my ticket and passport.  Mum says it&#39;s on the bed.
She asks me to make her some breakfast.  I start mixing some prawns and salad.
She asks me what i think i&#39;m doing, she wants Weetabix.
I then wake up.

*really real and vivid dream.  I was reminded of how it is to be with my mother.  chaotic.*

----------


## irishcream

25/9/06

At work, Graeme is really cross because he&#39;s had to telll someone off.  I ask him if he&#39;s alright and he says no.  I suggest he goes outside for a cigarette.
I go upstairs to put a resident to bed, and i find myself on Eaton Hill.  I wonder what i&#39;m doing up there but don&#39;t question it, just sit with the sheep and enjoy the view.
An wol flies out of a ree.  A hawk lies in and tries to ktake it for it&#39;s prey.  I shout at it, and it flies away.
I decide to back down the hill to work.
I go into the small laundry cupboard, to find my mother in there on the phone to someone.
There is also a litter fo pharaoh puppies in there, which i start making a fuss of.
I notice there are two brindles in there, I ask mum how that happened and she says they come out like that sometimes.
I know she&#39;s wrong, but don&#39;t perform any kind of RC.

----------


## irishcream

1/10/06

Walking down Etnam Street, i bump into an Indian girl called Selena, but she looks like a girl i work with.
She invites me back to her house for coffee.
A note is pinned to the door, its from her boyfriend telling her he loves her.
We go inside and i find myself surrounded by shelves full of books.
They are all best selling fantasy novelists and there are lots of graphic novels and comics.
the house is nice small and compact.
The living room heads off to the kitchen.
The Carpet isn&#39;t very nice and i wonder if they are allowed to redecorate.
The dream fades and i wake up.

6/10/06
Dream one.

At work when a resident dies.  it&#39;s teatime and everyone is stressed out.  The dining room is pandemonium.
Graeme is really stressed out about something, he hits me across the head.
I&#39;m not sure what happens next, but i get some bad news that mum has died.
I don&#39;t find out the cause, but i am devastated.
I start thinking about funeral arrangements and wonder who is going to read the eulogy.  I realise it will have to be me.

There was another dream, but it was a bit personal, so it&#39;s not going in here&#33;

15/6/06

Dream one

I am at my house with Curtis watching a DVD.  I&#39;m not sure what the movie is about, but it&#39;s set in a city with lots of old buildings.
Curtis has put the movie on fast forward, i am cross with him for that.
Suddenly, we find ourselves in the movie, and walking extremely fast, up and down lots of staircases.
I ask him why we are walking so fast and he says it&#39;s because we&#39;re on fast forward.
I then ask him where we are and he tells me to use my brain and look at the signs.
I look at the signs which say &#39;Manchester&#39; and wonder how i got there.

I wake up.

Dream two.

Walking somewhere with my family and Curtis.
I keep wanting piggy backs, because the ground is hilly.
My mum starts talking about my dad (my biological dad) and in the dream i think about contacting him.
In another part of the dream, i was at work, but work was a big mansion with lots of rooms.  There is a woman in one of the rooms and she&#39;s really ill.  Somehow i know it&#39;s the fault of one of my colleages for not doing her job properly.

----------


## irishcream

18/10/06 

1. I am at work, it&#39;s a very busy shift and i have lots of staff on.  Instead of making me feel comfortable, this alarms me because i don&#39;t know where to assign duties to.  being in charge still freaks me out a bit, in case something goes terribly wrong.  So far it&#39;s not been too bad, but still...
I have a feeling of incompetence.  Graeme goes home, and tells me to only worry about the living as the dead will take care of themselves.  I remember being quite freaked out by this statement, but at the same time seeing the sense of it.
I still think it&#39;s a strange thing for him to say.

2.  I go out for the evening with a whole bunch of people, Curtis is with me.  There is a pool match going on which we win, but i have to get Kelly to take the last shot because i&#39;m not good at it.
We keep drinking until the barmaid calls for time, i realise curtis has drunk far too much and is fast asleep.
I try waking him, but the barmaid says i&#39;d be better off letting himsleep.
At this point in the dream, there is a blankness and i don&#39;t know what happens net, until i find myself leaving the pub in the early dawn without curtis, and making my way home.
It looks as though it&#39;s going to be a nice day.
As i&#39;m walking home i walk past a house that has the front door open.  I see they have their dining table in the hallway.  I think this is odd but don&#39;t question it.

&#39;ask and it shall be given to you&#39;  over the last few days, i&#39;ve been really determined to up my recall, and last night i had two dreams&#33;  I also had two dreams the other night, so i&#39;m making better progress.  I also wonder if recall is a lot to do with motivation, actually stirring yourself and writing those dreams down...practice makes perfect

----------


## irishcream

19/10/06

I dream that i am in a science lab with a whole bunch of students.
I&#39;m trying to make something for Curtis.
Suddenly an alarm goes off and the teacher orders everyone to evacuate by the &#39;purest&#39; exit.
I don&#39;t follow this and go by the quickest route which leads to a dead end.
I come ack up and get a telling off from the teacher.
I then find myself on a balcony.  all the students are leaving by another exit.  One of them shouts up and asks me if i&#39;ve figured out a present for Curtis yet.
I yell back that i haven&#39;t.

*dream fragments

trying to find my mum&#39;s website for a member of DV
Curtis and I getting a lift home with Sue morris, who is driving a range rover.
Being in a back garden with my dad, who is talking about mowing the lawn.

----------


## irishcream

1/11/06

Well, last night i had my first dream in ages.  It&#39;s been down to a combination of working funny hours and my dad coming to stay that&#39;s thrown it out of whack.
Last night was pretty clear, but not as good as it should have been.

I dreamed that my mother had another child, a baby girl.  I was overjoyed because i&#39;d always wanted a sister, someone i could call &#39;Sis&#39;.
The baby was black, which i thought was strange, but i was too happy in the dream to question it.  
We decided to call her Bonnie, because i said she was a bonny baby.
We took her home, and my grandad was there, lying in a bed.
She crawled over to him, and started talking.  (fast growing baby there&#33;&#33;&#33 :wink2: 
I told her not to pester him, but my grandfather said that it didn&#39;t matter, he liked little children.
My mother had decided she didn&#39;t want her, so i&#39;d taken over looking after her.  I asked her what she wanted for breakfast and she said weetabix.
Then the dream shifted slightly and i was in the supermarket with my father, in the freezer section, looking at pizzas.
Dad asked me which one i wanted for my tea, and i couldn&#39;t decide because there were so many different variations on flavours.
I asked him what had happened to all the flavours, and he said i just hadn&#39;t been paying attention.

I woke up from this dream feeling kinda strange.
I missed my father, and there was a feeling that i used to get when i was younger, when i used to hope my mother would have one more child and it would be a girl, maybe so that i had someone to identify with.
I woke up and realised that was never going to happen, and somehow that made me sad.


*dream fragments from other nights

Riding a black horse along the beach.  No saddle, no reins or bridle but being completely in control of it.
The drowning dream again.  Back in a swimming pool thinking i&#39;m going to drown.  Peter rescues me again.  This wasn&#39;t so scary as other times.
It&#39;s repeating itself, so i know how it goes, but i can never seem to get lucid on it...it&#39;s almost as though i&#39;m getting over the fear in my dreams, but would it work in real life?
Could i go and get in a swimming pool? I don&#39;t think so&#33;&#33;

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## irishcream

13/11/06

Weddings, babies and tornadoes.

I dream that Curtis and I are getting married.  We are living in a flat, the wedding is held there.  I wear white, but it&#39;s a pagan ceremony.
Daddy gives me away.
Mum gives me a fake diamond ring and says &#39;let him put that on before he starts calling you &#39;darling&#39;.

I am in a building with a high roof.
A baby is being hoisted into the ceiling.  I take the baby away and hide in Woolworths when the search party comes out.
The baby is called &#39;Edie&#39;.

There is a tornado at West Eaton.  It hits the house, causing it to move.
Daddy is trying to fix the powerlines.  I know the foundations of the house have been ruined, and we are all going to die when it collapses.
Bloody horrible dream.


16/11/06
Cats, books, tenerife and goldfish.

I am sitting at my computer when i realise i&#39;m late for work.
I go downstairs and talk to mum and dad about it, they tell me to phone in sick.
Then i&#39;m going to the library to take out a new book when i hear a cat meowing outside.  I let it in and it runs to my father.
I go to the library, but can&#39;t find the book i want, so i get another instead.
I come home and dad says we are going to tenerife, and nan and granddad are comeing.  I ask if it&#39;s safe for grandad to fly, he says yes.  (my grandfather is dead...)
We get there and the beach is wonderful but i miss Curtis.
I try to take pictures, but the camera won&#39;t work.
When we come back home i see my goldfish has got better and had a baby, and also that we have a small black kitten.

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## irishcream

18/11/06

I am in a house i used to live in.
It&#39;s armistice day, but the sitting room is a war zone.
My father is at the far side of the sitting room, by the door.  I see a soldier get blown up.
I go over to my father and he asks me when his grandfather clock is going to b get blown up.  He looks devastated and lost.
I tell him he shouldn&#39;t talk like that, but at the same time i&#39;m worrying that a bomb might come through the ceiling.

Totally weird dream.

Other dream fragments of residents getting telegrams when it&#39;s their turn to die and being in a large supermarket with my parents, the atmosphere is very tense.
Everything has a sort of greyness to it, which is odd, cos i usually dream in colour.

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## irishcream

21/11/06

Gordon Ramsey, noisy plumbing, and unsatisfied desire.

So i&#39;m in my house, in the bathroom, and i turn on the hot tap to wash my face.  Then my plumbing starts making a noise.
I feel cross cos i just had it fixed.
Anyhow, (i&#39;m in my nightie at this point) I turn round and Gordon Ramsey is there and he wants to sleep with me.
(details of this dream are unclear, should have written it down sooner)
He keeps touching me and trying to take my nightie off, i get really angry with him.
Then a man comes to look at the plumbing, he says it&#39;s an airlock.
Gordon Ramsey has disappeared to be replaced by Curtis who is desperate to make love to me.  I&#39;m just as desperate as he is, but i tell him we can&#39;t because:

*We have no condoms
*My mother is in the house
*The plumber is here.

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## irishcream

1/12/06

I dream that I&#39;m at work and it&#39;s a Saturday.
Graeme tells me that i don&#39;t khave to come in the next day, as he&#39;s found someone to cover the shift. (my mother&#39;s friend, Tim)

I&#39;m really pleased by this, as it means that Curtis and I can spend some time together.
I go home and it&#39;s the evening, when the phone rings.
It&#39;s Graeme, asking if i&#39;ll come in tomorrow after all, because Tim can&#39;t make it.
I go down and speak to Curtis, and ask if we&#39;ve got anything planned, and he reminds me that we have, and he looks very hurt at the idea that i might be going into work.
I tell him i can&#39;t because i&#39;ve already made plans.  I can hear Kelly talking on the other end of the phone.
He says it&#39;s not a case of can&#39;t, but of not wanting to and slams the phone down.

Dream Fragments
Being on a train with lots of people and feeling uncomfortable.
Being in Aldi doing my shopping, there is only one till open.

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## irishcream

Yikes..have i not had a dream for nearly a fortnight&#33;&#33;&#33;??  i&#39;m slacking.

anyway.

13/12/06
Curtis and I are at the beach, he wants me to go into the sea and i&#39;m afraid.
He goes far out and stands on the shingle, he says it&#39;s not that deep, i remind him that he&#39;s a foot taler than me.
I make my way over to him and i grab his hand.  
We cling onto each other, dodging the waves.  I&#39;m still afraid, but not as afraid as i&#39;ve been in previous &#39;water&#39; dreams.
Just as i&#39;m wondering how we&#39;re going to get back, my brother appears in a peddaloe.
I worry it won&#39;t take all our weight combined.dream fragments

*Curtis and i are at an outside cafe trying to find a seat.

*curtis and i &#39;doing stuff&#39;  :wink2:

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## irishcream

15/12/06

Dream Fragments*being at work and finding a stash of books in the storecupboard
*Going into a pub to ask about Sunday lunch, Curtis is with me, we get told it&#39;s £127.  We both think it&#39;s way too highly priced, but i don&#39;t question it.
(confabulating again&#33;&#33;&#33 :wink2: 
*being in Morrison&#39;s looking at reduced price candles, i ask the shop assistant what it means and she says they have to sell them at that price.  I explain that&#39;s not always the case.
In Somerfield, looking for pickel.  I run into my mum, she talks about dyeing her hair, i say there&#39;s nothing wrong with it.
(this bit felt REALLY weird, because i did stop to wonder how i managed to get from Morrison&#39;s to somerfield so fast, and i also wondered what my mother was doing there when i knew she was in America.)
Dreamsigns
Switching from one place to another.
Extortionate prices of sunday lunch.  Seeing my mother.

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## irishcream

21/12/06

two different houses, talking magazines, old family photos and rotten strawberries.

Firstly i am back at my old house in Witcham, standing outside talking to the lady who lived across from me.
We start talking about her daughter Helen, who was my friend.
She invites me in and I have to use the bathroom.
For some reason when I&#39;m done, i stuff the empty toilet roll down the toilet, flush it and put the lid down because i know it&#39;ll block.
I go out the bathroom door and find myself in a kitchen.  Mum is there, and she&#39;s showing me pictures from when i was younger, pictures of her, my brother and grand dad.
I feel strangely sad in this part of the dream.
Then I&#39;m in the house i lived in till age ten, reading a magazine that&#39;s got an interview with Joan Collins in it.
The weird thing here is the magazine is talking.
Also, i am eating strawberries but some of them have gone bad.

dreamsigns
switching from one place to another.
stuffing a toilet roll down the toilet
talking magazines.
old pictures of my family
strawberries going rotten

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## irishcream

28/12/06

I dreamed after talking to my boyfriend on the telephone.

At first, i find myself back at school/college, in my old science teacher&#39;s physics class.  Some of the people i spent my last years at school with are there, and they haven&#39;t changed.
As well as being a science laboratory, it seems to be a music room as well, and a couple of the students are playing on the piano.

At one point, i walk out of the lesson, and i can&#39;t find my way back.  I curse myself for not thinking to check the number on the door as i left.
I walk into a room that seems to be home to fish and various reptiles.  I go up to an oddly shaped tank with a fish in it, and stare in at it.  It squirts out some orange coloured ink.  I remain fascinated and i start making faces at it.  I get a shock when it starts copying me, but don&#39;t pay any attention.

I then find myself in a sort of supermarket, i know i&#39;m in america.  Curtis is with me, and the whole thing feels odd, but nothing triggers me to think i&#39;m dreaming, except for the possibility of large candles in a jar for £1.95.  I keep on pointing to them, and trying to get Curtis&#39;s attention, but he doesn&#39;t seem to be that interested.
I also look at toilet fresheners, and Curtis says they are a waste of money because the refills cost more than the original purchase.

Then we are at home together, both standing in the shower....afterward, the room is a mess and i&#39;m annoyed because i&#39;ve knocked a plant over.
I climb out of the shower and say i want to take him to bed, but we need to change the sheets first.

dreamsigns
being back at college/school.
getting lost.
fish making faces at me.
candles at ridiculously cheap prices.
seeing curtis.

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## irishcream

new year&#39;s eve

I woke up from this dream not necessarily frightened, but very disturbed in my mind.  So much so, that my boyfriend asked me if i was actually properly awake.

Me, shiny, Matthew chithra, Alex and my dad are in a building of some kind, it feels like a church.
Matthew and Shiny have a new baby.
There is a man there, a bad seed of the gathering.
He&#39;s watching the baby and i can tell he&#39;s bad news.  A service is taking place.  Half way through, the man steals the baby.  I getup on the podium and shout &#39;excuse me, the man has stolen the baby on his bicycle, can someone go after him?&#39;
I turn to my father and shout &#39;i told you he was bad news and i gave him the benefit of the doubt&#33;&#39;
My father hangs his head and says you must always give people a chance.

The dream switches and I&#39;m getting out a long sleek black car.  I am in a long avenue with a large house/palace at the end of it.  I&#39;m in Russia and my name is Sam.  I&#39;ve been sent to deal with assassins.
The avenue reminds me of the Mall up to Buckingham palace.
I go in.
I am armed with a pistol, it only takes four bullets.  The Russians have AK 47 rifles.
I realise I&#39;m out numbered but continue on.
In spite of the killings, there&#39;s no chaos and confusion.  It&#39;s cold, organised and mindless in every sense of the word.
Myself and another woman are trying to shoot one another, we have no bullets in our guns.
She gets loaded up and scampers off to do more shooting.
I&#39;m having trouble getting mine loaded, the sergeant puts too  many in at first.
The bullets have an odd shape, they look like 1p pieces.
I turn round and a woman is staring at me, a cold gleam in her eyes.
I want to raise my gun and shoot but she gets there first.

I feel the bullet lodge in my skull and consciousness leaving me.
My last words are &#39;fucking hell, i don&#39;t want to die, i have too much to do&#33;&#39;

The dream switches and I&#39;m a woman learning of her son&#39;s death by telegram.
The note she sent read &#39;have you seen my Sam?  His ship put into port at__________ on___________
Included is a list of things he was trying to cut out or avoid.
&#39;cigs smoked, profanity, words i have over used&#39;.
At the end of the dream i realise its&#39; all the plot for a novel.  Four lives touched by grief get together to solve the mystery of Sam&#39;s death.

*my boyfriend said i woke up in the middle of the night talking incoherent gibberish.
He asked me if i was OK, and i told him i was fine, just having a dream.
He asked me what the dream was about, and i said something along the lines of him being poisoned.

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## irishcream

17/1/07

two dreams last night.

First i dreamed i was talking to my mother on the phone in america.  As usual, i find i have nothing to say to her, and conversation is an effort.  my uncle is over there, for his planned trip that we were supposed to be going on.

I then dreamed something weird, i&#39;m sure it had something to do with the second world war, but i was on some kind of revolving staircase...it was very similar to a ferris wheel, but you had to keep climbing these steps, except you never actually got anywhere.
I began to get quite distressed, and begged to be let off.
I then found myself in a train carriage, there is a young woman and an elderly gentleman there...
The young woman reminded me of Curtis, i wondered if it was his feminine side coming out to me in a dream...
The elderly gentleman kept touching her and i was getting cross and jealous.
Eventually he went into another carriage and i went over to her and lay down beside her and kissed her.
I told her that i didn&#39;t like him touching her, and she asked me if we could stay like this for the rest of the night.
Then i told her that we couldn&#39;t, because i had to go and prepare dinner.
I walked out of the train, and found myself in an icy wasteland.
There is a tribe of people, all dressed in strange clothes with painted faces.
I realise the world has ended.
A young girl has found a hamster in a cage and is really pleased with it, but no one is interested because they are all trying to work out what they are going to do for food.

dreamsigns
revolving staircases.
Curtis&#39;s womanly side
the end of the world, strange clothing

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## irishcream

25/1/07

I dream that i&#39;ve gone to a funeral...it&#39;s held in what seems to be a church, but it isn&#39;t.  Before the service, the family of the person who has died are playing board games.
My dad is there and he&#39;s angry about something, but i don&#39;t know what.

The dream switches and i&#39;m on a coach to birmingham.  I suddenly panic thinking that i&#39;ve left my MP3 player behind, and am relieved to find it in my pocket.
I then realise that i&#39;m not going to be able to get to birmingham and back before my shift starts at work, so i opt to get off the coach and go back home.

Curtis is in bed and wonders what i&#39;m doing at home.  I explain that i didn&#39;t have enough time and we end up in bed together.

totally weird bunch of dreams.

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## irishcream

29/1/07

Another &#39;time travel&#39; dream.

Somehow i&#39;ve ended up in London, and i&#39;m not sure what time i&#39;m in...everything looks modern, except for the way people dress.  I find myself in what seems to be a sort of courtyard and i&#39;m looking around it...On one of the walls, a sign is written and it says &#39;Eaton Place&#39;.  and i suddenly get a feeling that this must be home.

I am with my dad and brother, but somehow we get separated.  I try to pull out my mobile from my pocket, but it isn&#39;t there.  I try to ask someone for directions to the place i just came from, but they look right through me..in fact, throughout this whole dream, no one acknowledged me at all, and it was a very frightening feeling.
at one point, i am standing on the street corner ready to cry, because i feel like i must have somehow stepped back in time, and that i&#39;m going to be trapped there forever.

Also i dreamed about getting in a car with Graeme and his wife...his wife was learning to drive in the dream.  she was driving on a muddy road and i was terrified we were going to crash.

(what is it with me and car crashes?&#33;  maybe i feel like i&#39;m not in control of my life just now? could be, there are changes coming up, and everything is hanging on it&#39;s own weight so to speak.  I&#39;m in a position of wait and see, and i&#39;m not used to that)

also i dreamed i was in town and bumped in to some people i supposedly know.  I go and look at the local market, and go to get my purse out of my bag, and realise i can&#39;t find it.  However, i have an open packet of ham in there (don&#39;t ask) and have to keep rooting past that to look for my purse.

----------


## irishcream

31/1/07

Meeting Curtis outside Tesco&#39;s, and a false awakening.  Also, a dream of an island in the sea.

I dream that i&#39;m standing in Tesco&#39;s carpark in Hereford.  It&#39;s a cold and cloudy day.  I&#39;m waiting for Curtis and i&#39;m terrified he won&#39;t turn up.  Suddenly i see him, and i know it&#39;s him because of the hat he&#39;s wearing.  I also realise at this point that Curtis never wears a hat, but don&#39;t do a reality check.
I go and lean on his arm, and he seems taller than i remember.

False Awakening

I awaken in the middle of the night, and am convinced that Graeme is standing at the bottom of my bed.  He looks upset and i ask him what the matter is  and he doesn&#39;t answer me.  I repeat my question and he smiles and walks away, fading in the process.  I wake fully to find myself staring at the spot where he stood, still asking him what&#39;s wrong.

the island in the sea
I had this dream a couple of nights ago and didn&#39;t put it in.

Curtis and I are at the beach, the waves are quite high and i&#39;m scared of it.  Somewhere out to sea is a stone island, that i feel i must get to. Curtis wants to take me over there, but i refuse to go with him.
I imagine myself on that island and being swept off by one of the large waves.

----------


## irishcream

17/2/07

Long time since i wrote any dreams down, my recall took a dive.  I&#39;m making an effort to get back into it now.

NO fixed reference point for this dream.
It appears that I&#39;ve gone to an audition for a film or something.  I find myself in a large hall with lots of people.
At the same time, i am worrying about my brother who is supposedly going to have major surgery of some kind.
We all move into a large dining room, here i meet up with a gentleman i know in real life.
I then find myself next to a woman in a hospital bed, she has cuts and bruises on her face.
She is worrying about her daughter.
I want to go home, but I&#39;m told i must stay until 6pm.

----------


## irishcream

22/2/07

I dream that i am dreaming.  I dream a house with a blue door.  There is a cloak outside.  I wake up in the dream and go towards the house.
A woman opens the door.  I tell her i was just dreaming about this place, she invites me in.
As i enter someone comes through the back door.  It&#39;s someone similar to Curtis and i feel an instant attraction.
My brother comes in and starts complaining that he has no pants.
Dad and mum are there we are all sitting round a table eating braised steak.  Mum isn&#39;t in a good mood for some reason.
Outside there is a war going on, i can see the missiles lighting up the sky.
My father is giving me instructions to make braised steak.
I go into the kitchen to prepare it.  A young girl follows me in, she&#39;s worried about a test she has to take.
I tell her she&#39;ll be fine, as i&#39;m cutting a loaf of bread.
The main dining room is dimly lit, there are lots of people there laughing and joking.

I remember a book case full of comic books.

----------

