# Sleep and Dreams > General Dream Discussion >  >  Strong Attraction for another Girl.

## Xyn

Ok, this kind of fits dreaming.  Well it does.  You will see.

Well theres this girl in my school who I think is really hot...  Well I have a g/f now that I want to be with the rest of my life, but this girl, she appears in my dreams all the time.  I wake up and I have STRONG feelings for this girl.  It's like I feel like i'm cheating on my g/f. 

Anyways, my point is there any way I can make her get out of my dreams?

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## Adam

Okay your profinle doesnt say how old you are, but I AM sure your GF is not th e one for you.. I  mean okay you migh thtink yu lov e her, butin all honesty you are yojng and have a lot of life to explore - and so you should.

As much aas you mihgt love her, it is no t going to be forever, and i learnt thi sd the hard way - Just enbjoy what you got, but dont get too caught up in what you havem because you both have a lot of eploring to do - hence the dreams!

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## Oneironaut Zero

> Anyways, my point is there any way I can make her get out of my dreams?



In short: No, probably not.

The best thing that you could do is to lessen her importance, in your mind. Stop thinking about this girl. Focus more on your present girlfriend. Don't eyeball this new girl, whenever you see her in school. Tell yourself how wrong it is that you are even thinking about her. If you're lucky, she will probably not be such a prominent figure in your dreams.

BUT, this is probably an unrealistic concept. Once someone is in your head, it's a lot harder to get rid of the thought of them than it would seem. The bottom line is: as long as you have any sort of infatuation with this girl, showing up in your dreams is just something that will probably happen from time to time.

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## Adam

My man speaks the truth!! I have thi girl in my head and she is stuck there, more thank likely for good lol  ::D:

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## dreamcatcher05

Adam your spelling is horrible

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## Adam

thats becausee i hgave have hasd just 1 fdrink  ::D:

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## Oneironaught

Yeah, that type of dream character tends to come and go. But they also tend to hang around for weeks or longer at a time.

However, simply dreaming about some one is not cheating. So don't feel that you are doing something improper. As long as you don't act on those feelings in real life you have done nothing wrong.





> My man speaks the truth!! I have thi girl in my head and she is stuck there, more thank likely for good lol



Whomever might that be?  ::mrgreen::

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## Xyn

Lol, the girl I got now is the girl of my dreams...  (we've been together nearly 2 years)

I guess, i'll just try and get her out of my mind.

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## TempleGuard

Get lucid in every dream, and remove her every time  :smiley:  .

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## Redrivertears

Hey there,

I don't think the issue here is in your dreams, the issue here is in your waking life. We're human beings, and we have the capacity to be attracted to more then one other person at the same time, even love one other person at the same time.

So just because you have a girlfriend or not doesn't mean it's impossible or even wrong to be attracted to someone else. It definately doesn't mean your current girlfriend is not the one for you.

The question is not whether you have these feelings or not, but what you do with them. That's the part you have control over. Now feelings are funny things, if you painstakingly try to ignore them, shut them out, repress them, they're very likely to come bouncing right back up in your dreams, just like they are doing now. 

The best thing to do, in my mind, is to simply acknowledge that this girl in your class is someone you find attractive, and that you even could have feelings for... should you chose to do so! Once acknowledged, simply remind yourself that your girlfriend is the right one for you, and chose not to do anything with those feelings you have for the other girl. 

Personally, I think you'll very quickly find the dreams fading on their own at that point.

-Redrivertears-

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## Xyn

Thanks red, helped alot.

I could give a million reasons why my g/f is the one for me, and you didn't question once she isn't the girl for me.  I appreciate that.  

I guess I just feel bad cause my g/f would never be doing crap like i've been doing.  I guess she loves me that much...  I just feel bad like i'm not holding my share up and all.

It's not been that this girl in my dreams has been popping up and leaving.  Its been happening over the course of years, but i'll change that now.  Im'a think of her less more.

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## Oneironaught

> ...and you didn't question once she isn't the girl for me. I appreciate that.



I do too. I hate when others assume that, because you are young, that the one you're with can't be "the one". Sure, it's _usually_ the case the we have changes in life but, don't ever let anyone judge who is right for you except yourself. Especially when those judging have no clue in the world how things are between you two. It would be a different story if you were telling us terrible things about her but that's not the case. You seem to be happy with this girl so - for now at least - she _is_ the right one for you.

I believe it's best to default to the idea that the one you're with may be The One. It's best to feel commitment and give your all than to take the attitude that "she may not be so why should I invest my heart and emotions?" Good for you wanting to do what's right.





> I guess I just feel bad cause my g/f would never be doing crap like i've been doing. I guess she loves me that much... I just feel bad like i'm not holding my share up and all.



But it is possible that she's had dreams about others as well. But, like you are learning, it's what you do about it in real life that determines your character and who you are as a person.

Hats off to you, my friend.

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## Burned up

It's not her.  It's a part of you that the dreammaker is representing as her.  If you can reach that part of you then it won't be in the depths of your unconscious any more but will be in your waking awareness.  So ... who is she for you?  Can you elaborate that part of your own character more?

Bu

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## Vision

> Lol, the girl I got now is the girl of my dreams...  (we've been together nearly 2 years)
> 
> I guess, i'll just try and get her out of my mind.



If she's the girl of your dreams then why are you dreaming of this other one?

If you are in school still then you are too young to be tied down. Maybe this dreaming about the other girl is your subconsciousness's way of telling you it's time to move on and check some other women out. You could always date some other girls and if you really are meant to be with your present girlfriend then she'll still be there for you even years later.

You gotta play the field. You can't just get in one semi serious relationship when in school and say that's it. I'm done, I already found my soulmate. Just stay single til you're 30 and date a bunch of women and then think about getting serious. That's what I think you should do. It worked great for me.  :wink2:

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## Xyn

[QUOTE=Vision;537125]If she's the girl of your dreams then why are you dreaming of this other one?
QUOTE]


I guess I forgot to mention something.  If I had never had these dreams about this girls she'd be a normal girl that was good looking.  Its not like I would want to date her.  Its like the dreams are intentionally INTENSING these feelings.

Maby its just the feeling I love going for things I cannot have(Or people).  She makes it seem like I have a chance around her but then again makes me know I don't have one...  Idk, just plain complicated if you ask me ::o:

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## tekkendreams

> Okay your profinle doesnt say how old you are, but I AM sure your GF is not th e one for you.. I  mean okay you migh thtink yu lov e her, butin all honesty you are yojng and have a lot of life to explore - and so you should.
> 
> As much aas you mihgt love her, it is no t going to be forever, and i learnt thi sd the hard way - Just enbjoy what you got, but dont get too caught up in what you havem because you both have a lot of eploring to do - hence the dreams!



hahhhaha i laughed when i your reply soo true its not the one , only becuase i dont know his/her real age and such

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## Ronstek

I like the comments and advice that Redrivertears has given you but I believe that you should also consider that, although you have been with your GF for 2 years, she may not be your perfect partner and unless you explore your infatuation with the other girl in your dreams and discard her in preference to your GF then you will go through life questioning yourself and saying, "what if".  Such doubts can cause a breakdown of a relationship and if that is going to happen it is best to occur at the start of the relationship before commitments are cemented.
Age and experience come into the equation and we dont know yours.
Update your profile...

good luck.

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## Robot_Butler

Whenever I dream about a girl - any girl - I wake up with really intense feelings for her. They normally fade by the end of the morning.

Could be the fattest, stinkiest, meanest lady on the planet.  If she was in my dream, I would still wake up believing I was in love with her.  I always feel emotions more intensely in my dreams.

If only we could harness this power for our own selfish benefit.  Dream-love potions, anyone?

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## Ronstek

[quote=Robot_Butler;539847]

Could be the fattest, stinkiest, meanest lady on the planet.[quote]

There are only two things in this world that smell like Dead, Rotting Fish.  One of them is Dead Rotting Fish !!!!
 ::tongue::

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## Adam

> Okay your profinle doesnt say how old you are, but I AM sure your GF is not th e one for you.. I  mean okay you migh thtink yu lov e her, butin all honesty you are yojng and have a lot of life to explore - and so you should.
> 
> As much aas you mihgt love her, it is no t going to be forever, and i learnt thi sd the hard way - Just enbjoy what you got, but dont get too caught up in what you havem because you both have a lot of eploring to do - hence the dreams!







> My man speaks the truth!! I have thi girl in my head and she is stuck there, more thank likely for good lol







> thats becausee i hgave have hasd just 1 fdrink



OMG  ::shock::  ::shock::  ::shock::  ::shock:: 

I am sure you have, but please ignore all of that, if I could delete I would. I can be an ass when I have had a drink!!

_/me hangs head in shame_  :Sad:

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## Michael

[QUOTE=Ronstek;539969][quote=Robot_Butler;539847]

Could be the fattest, stinkiest, meanest lady on the planet.



> There are only two things in this world that smell like Dead, Rotting Fish.  One of them is Dead Rotting Fish !!!!



sounds like you get some bad pussy.

Although sometimes it does smell like fish... definatly not rotting wtf?

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## Adam

[quote=Michael;539972][quote=Ronstek;539969]



> Could be the fattest, stinkiest, meanest lady on the planet.
> 
> sounds like you get some bad pussy.
> 
> Although sometimes it does smell like fish... definatly not rotting wtf?



You guys must be with the wrong girls.....

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## Robot_Butler

[QUOTE=Adam;539973][quote=Michael;539972]



> You guys must be with the wrong girls.....



My point exactly.  She could be gross in real life, but if she's playing the part of my love interest in my dream, I will believe it.  

I'm just saying, you can't trust your emotions in your dreams.  Just like your other senses, they can play wacky tricks on you.

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## Xyn

I kind of have a funny dream that I remember that kind of goes along with this too.

I had a dreamt a dream that I fell in love with someone other that my g/f that I actually know in rl.  Well, I feel in love with her just as much as the current g/f I had, well I woke up, I still thought I was in love with this girl for like 3 seconds after the dream.  Its was really weird.  One of the weirdest feelings I ever felt.

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## Oneironaught

> There are only two things in this world that smell like Dead, Rotting Fish. One of them is Dead Rotting Fish !!!!



Actually, there's a third: certain electrolytic capacitors when they go bad.

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## skysaw

Typically, when we are young, we assume that any thoughts of another person must mean something is wrong with our present relationship. This assumption can be strong enough to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading people to dump a current good relationship for another that may be doomed from the start.

As we mature, most people begin to accept that it is natural to think about other people, and hopefully they develop the self-restraint and common sense to keep it in its proper perspective. If you believe it is not natural, you will doom yourself to endless feelings of guilt, or worse, unneeded break-up.

It is very freeing to rid yourself of this concept, as it will also help free you from unneeded feelings of jealousy. When a couple learns this together, they can develop extreme levels of trust that allow them to openly talk about these feelings.

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