# Lucid Dreaming > Lucid Experiences >  >  Tonight

## A Lost Soul

11/27/2003
I woke in the dream world in a small store greatly resembling the comic shoppe where I used to work. I found myself sitting beside a young woman. She was about my age, maybe a year or two younger. She was exchanging unpleasant words with a young man. He was upsetting her and finally, I stood and told him to leave the store as tactfully as I could. You cant be here. This is her place of work, I said. He stormed off in a huff, but not before telling the young woman that he never wanted to see her again. 

I sighed and shook my head, closing the glass door behind him. I noticed that the whole storefront was glass, and I suddenly got the feeling of a fish in a bowl. Shrugging it off as best as I could, I returned to the young woman and took my seat at her side. She was writing something, and crying. Her ballpoint pen dug violently into the surface of the paper as though she were taking out all of her aggressions in that one missive. I peered carefully over her shoulder and saw the twisted piece of art she was creating. At first glance, it was nothing more than a bunch of tiny circles with lines through them and what most would call chicken scratch. But as I looked at it, I could see something more. The circles and lines became the heads of screws plunged deep into a wooden plank _The surface is just the beginning_ Those words floated across the paper, and I recognized them right away. Its the title of one of my favorite pictures by my favorite photographer, and its a picture that I could stare at all day and be lost in my own mind. To me, it meant that there was something deeper going on than what I was initially seeing. The girl kept scribbling and I saw another image begin to take shape. It was the image of a human arm, its wrist tragically shredded. I felt my heart in my throat. 

The girl threw down the pen and got up, knocking her chair over as she ran to the back of the store. I can recall very few times when Ive ever been that scared in my life. I knew the determination in her step, the desperation and hopelessness of her tears. She was going to attempt suicide. I honestly dont know why, but I couldnt let her do it. I ran after her and found her in the ladies room, a razor pressed against her skin. She was naked, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked so alone, so lost that I wanted to cry. I lunged forward and grabbed her, trapping her arms against her sides. She dropped the blade and struggled, screaming at me that I was a bitch, she wanted to die, and why did I stop her? 

I remember my words. Because Ive been there, I said to her. Ive had that razor against my skin. Ive been at the bridges edge, staring down into the murky waters below, so close to jumping. Ive been there, I told her, and its a very dark place that I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. She cried and thrashed around in my arms, but I tightened my grip around her. She yelled that she had no one left, that her boyfriend had been her world and now he was gone. She had lost half of her soul and she didnt want to live anymore. She had no will left to live. 

I couldnt stand it anymore. Her words were hitting so close to home. I started to cry. Im here, I screamed at her. Im here and Im not going to let you go. I didnt know this girl, but I suddenly felt that she was the most important thing in the world to me. I had to keep her alive somehow but how could I do that when I had spent so many of my years wanting to die? I dont even know how to live 

She went limp in my arms, still sobbing. I loosened my hold on her and she laid her head on me and cried. I told her the only thing I could think of to tell her. I told her why Im still alive right now. I told her that, no matter what, there was always one who was there. There was always one who would never leave: My goddess. The goddess in us all. She would never leave us alone, never lie to us, never see us as anything but what we are and she would always accept us unconditionally. She would never require us to give up a part of ourselves for her love. She would always love us, no questions asked. No man, no woman could take that sort of love away. She would help us bear our burdens, no matter how small or large, and she would help us find ourselves. 

As I talked, I noticed that the girl calmed down considerably. I looked at her, and it was only then that I realized that the girl was faceless This startled me and I woke up. I typed it immediately and here it is. Im going back to bed now, but I ask for and welcome your interpretations.

Thanks

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## Madskater212

I'm white and I had a dream that I was a black man with an 80s style afro running on a track and was sweating and thinking "man, it's gotta suck for these guys having dark skin and thick hair out in the sun".

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## Lucius

Lol, what does that have to do with this?   ::shock::  

Anyway, my interpreation, mabey the girl represented none other then you, or you in the past. From what i've read in some posts you seem to have lost faith in love so mabey something of the like has happend to you? I dont know , and I dont have to know,its personal, just a thought.

People are often reported dreaming about themselves(in an other form or not) , trying to cheer them up or talk to them, not even knowing its their own inner reflection their talking to

This is all just an option..,make any sense?

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## Seeker

I agree with Lucius.  It sounds to me like you have finally closed that door to the past.
I think you are a strong enough person now that you will never feel the razor to your skin, or be standing on the bridge again!

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## Lowercase Society

maybe something is trying to tell you something from your past...perhaps an aspect of love...its all inside yourself...pull it out, oh yah, i got the perception that that girl was actually you in the past...

cheers






> I'm sick of painting in black and white, my pen is dry, now I'm uptight, so sick of limiting myself to fit your definition.[/b]

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## Ginko

> _Originally posted by Madskater212_
> *I'm white and I had a dream that I was a black man with an 80s style afro running on a track and was sweating and thinking \"man, it's gotta suck for these guys having dark skin and thick hair out in the sun\".*



HUH.... I know the dark puffy hair definatly makes a difference but i dont think having dark skin does much. PPl of darker skin ussualy have a better chance against rays from the sun when it comes to things like sunburn. Darker skin has..how do i say it... well more of a reflective property to the sun.

Whers a scienteist when you need 1

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## wasup

It has more melatonin (something like that) in the skin and it makes it more protective from sunburn ...

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## Curios

hmm....  cool.

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## Lowercase Society

jill, how did this girl you were talking to look like? if you can remember.  Anyone you know, like you in a way, or did she make you remember anyone?






> I'm floating down a river, oars freed from their holes long ago.
> Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
> I marvel at the stars and feel my heart overflow[/b]

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## A Lost Soul

She _did_ actually remind me of someone. A girl who I was friends with in grade school. I think I was, like, five or six when we met. My birth mother used to always say to me, "Look how pretty she is. Look how ladylike she is. Why can't you be more like her?" And so I tried. I liked the things this girl liked, I did the things this girl did, said what she said... I even stole some of her toys just so I could be more like her. In retrospect, it was actually pretty twisted and it probably paved the way for my obsessive nature as I grew up. But anyway, I didn't hate her or anything like that. I don't think the girl in my dream was her, even though she did remind me of this old childhood friend. 

That's interesting. I'm glad you asked that because it made me think.

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## Cattivo

Have you ever considered being in a profession where you help people in need?

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## A Lost Soul

> _Originally posted by Cattivo_
> *Have you ever considered being in a profession where you help people in need?*



Yes, quite often actually. My biggest fear, though, is getting into a profession like that and finding out that I can't take it. If I can't do it, that means that someone will get hurt because of my inabilities, and I don't want that.

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## Lowercase Society

> _Originally posted by A Lost Soul_
> *My birth mother used to always say to me, \"Look how pretty she is. Look how ladylike she is. Why can't you be more like her?\"*



your mother!? that makes so much sense now...have you ever read \"THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING\"

its written by MILAN KUNDERA and...well you'd have to read it

but yah, your mom invoked all those horrible feelings you had and might still have, in my opinion...but thats just waht i feel.





> the world is a roller coaster, and i am not stapped in, maybe i should hold with care, but my arms are busy in the air.[/b]

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## Seeker

> _Originally posted by A Lost Soul_
> *My biggest fear, though, is getting into a profession like that and finding out that I can't take it. If I can't do it, that means that someone will get hurt because of my inabilities, and I don't want that.*



How about doing some volunteer social work for a few hours a week and see how it goes?
Sounds to me like you have a wealth of experience and could really help!  
Just think, maybe the one person you save might be the one that discovers the cure for AIDS!

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## Lowercase Society

hmmmm...or the person that destroys the world as we know it.
but i think you can judge, your a good girl!






> the spies hide out in every corner, but you can't touch them no, cause their all spies[/b]

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## Lucius

I once read a story about a doctor who helped out giving birth to Hitler, they told he was a fine baby and happy he made it..  ::shock::

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## Lowercase Society

fate and predisposition...  ::o:  


-__________
CHEERS!

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## evangel

> _Originally posted by A Lost Soul+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(A Lost Soul)</div>
> 
> 
> 
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> 			
> 				<!--QuoteBegin-Cattivo
> 			
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> ...



You never know until you try!  Sounds like you have a lot of experience that would be helpful in being able to relate to many people... I find helping and teaching others to be the most fulfilling and plan to pursue it in the future also.

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