# Lucid Dreaming > General Lucid Discussion >  >  Dream sex: orgasm or no?  Wake up afterwards or no?

## jombo22

I'm sure we've all had our fair share of sex dreams, and I hope it isn't taboo to talk about this on a family-friendly sort of website!  

When I first started LDing, I would frequently wake up with soiled underpants (if you get my drift)... However, over the past year or so this has stopped happening, and I instead tend to wake from my dream before that gets the chance to happen.  

It has always been my understanding that the brain paralyzes the body to keep it from acting out the dream, so I was surprised that this could happen in the first place.  

I'm not sure what my feelings are one way or the other.  Obviously, ruining less boxers and bedsheets is a positive thing, but it seems to make the dreams less satisfying and more fleeting.  I've heard of people actually completing the act and remaining in the dream - something I've never managed to do (soiled boxers or not).  

So I guess I would ask... How often, if ever, do you wake up with soiled underpants?  And also, does having sex wake you out of the dream, or are you able to remain in the dream and lucid even after completing the act?

And if you _are_ able to remain in the dream, got any tips?  ::D:   I catch myself having lots of FAs this way, but I would still prefer to be able to stay in the same dream.  Part of the problem may be that I just get too excited and my increased heart rate wakes me up.

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## Licity

> I'm sure we've all had our fair share of sex dreams, and I hope it isn't taboo to talk about this on a family-friendly sort of website!  
> 
> When I first started LDing, I would frequently wake up with soiled underpants (if you get my drift)... However, over the past year or so this has stopped happening, and I instead tend to wake from my dream before that gets the chance to happen.  
> 
> It has always been my understanding that the brain paralyzes the body to keep it from acting out the dream, so I was surprised that this could happen in the first place.  
> 
> I'm not sure what my feelings are one way or the other.  Obviously, ruining less boxers and bedsheets is a positive thing, but it seems to make the dreams less satisfying and more fleeting.  I've heard of people actually completing the act and remaining in the dream - something I've never managed to do (soiled boxers or not).  
> 
> So I guess I would ask... How often, if ever, do you wake up with soiled underpants?  And also, does having sex wake you out of the dream, or are you able to remain in the dream and lucid even after completing the act?
> ...



 ::welcome::  to DV!

Not at all a taboo here, in fact, it's quite rare to look through the main five on-topic boards and NOT see something sex-related.

Waking up during the act seems highly subjective. I have only ever woken up soiled once. I only had fragmented recall for the dream so I don't know exactly what happened, but a quick glance through some of the journals here would show that it is definitely possible to remain in the dream both during and after. Take a look at this:

http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...se+lucid+dream

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## nzguy

Ah... premature awakeulation... a very common problem as far as I know. In fact, from what I've read its more common to wake up early than to stay asleep during the process.

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## Mud

I think I only make a mess in my boxers if I had been awake for days and am in a really deep sleep. I think I usually wake up after but go back to the dream right away.

To stay in the dream I talk to the girl and/or get rough with her (in good taste of course) or change positions. Perhaps changing positions would help you stay in the dream, but it wont help you climax...

I often wake up, but am able to stay partially sleeping. A weird state to be in. Kind of like rising in to my eyeballs. Sometimes I can drift back in to the dream and finish, usually I feel silly if I notice myself thrusting and I give up.. haha.

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## Shift

You'll want to keep in mind that people are going to be having wet dreams during their adolescence and after that period of development ends, the frequency of wet dreams is going to go down.

The paralysis of your body during your dreams, REM atonia, only works on the skeletal muscles. The only reason a dick gets hard is because of the blood flow. The important parts of copulation really have nothing to do with skeletal muscles,and so REM atonia isn't going to keep you from getting an erection or from ejaculating.

Lots of people wake up during dream sex. Lots of people have stupid random hypotheses about why this is, but no one knows the actual answer so take anything you read on the topic with a grain of salt.

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## jombo22

> premature awakeulation



 ::lol::  ::lol::  ::lol:: 


Thanks especially for the link to BillyBob's post.  Great stuff - I actually used to read this forum a few years ago and I always loved his posts.







> You'll want to keep in mind that people are going to be having wet dreams during their adolescence and after that period of development ends, the frequency of wet dreams is going to go down.



Of course.  I started LDing when I was 22, not sure when my last wet dream was.  I would imagine 22 is fairly comfortably out of the wet dream zone of development, but I could be wrong?






> The paralysis of your body during your dreams, REM atonia, only works on the skeletal muscles. The only reason a dick gets hard is because of the blood flow. The important parts of copulation really have nothing to do with skeletal muscles,and so REM atonia isn't going to keep you from getting an erection or from ejaculating.



I had suspected this might be the case.  Good to know for sure, very interesting.

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## Conkt

Yeah, I've had a couple. All of them I stayed asleep, and they were very vivid, up until the orgasm. Then, I immediately woke up, soiled bedsheets. It's hard to stay asleep for the entire experience.

Welcome to DreamViews!

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## vicevine

I have quiet a few. At least once a month. That's kinda strange for a girl, or so I heard. 

It usually occures when I really really want it and haven't had it in a while (A while for me could be a little as a week or a few days lol)

In fact I just had one last night. Usually I get them when I'm dreaming about a guy and I'm doing stuff with him, I'll even be able to feel myself kissing the guy and doing everything. It seems so real. And I definitely feel the orgasms and can stay in the dreams sometimes. I guess it helps if you have an motive in your dreams, to get somewhere.

I've had a wet dream once when I got that paralyzed feeling when I was on my stomach and couldn't move. Only I didn't want to cus I was making out with someone.

This last dream I orgasmed because I was looking at something in my dream....so I guess it can happen if it's sexual or not. But usually if I go to sleep wanting sex then I'll get one. My body knows what it wants and it'll give it to me if I can't stop thinking about it lol.

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## dark_angel

I always seem to be able to stay in and lucid in situations like that,  I don't know why.  I don't do anything different I just don't get kicked out.

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## OfficerFlake

> I have quiet a few. At least once a month. That's kinda strange for a girl, or so I heard.



Well I'll be damned, You don't hear that from a lot of women.

 I've never had one myself... I suppose it is one of my lucid goals so i will get around to it eventually.  ::lol::

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## ethan_hines

Do guys allways get somekind of errection durring REM?

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## Conkt

> I've never had one myself... I suppose it is one of my lucid goals so i will get around to it eventually.



Jacking off can stop you from having a wet dream. I find not jacking off for 1-2 weeks really increases the odds of having a sex dream.





> Do guys allways get somekind of errection durring REM?



I think so. Hence "morning wood"

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## Mud

Yeah forsure, the sex dreams are awesome if you can go without sex & masturbation for a few weeks. It's well worth it but can be hard to do.

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## Conkt

> Yeah forsure, the sex dreams are awesome if you can go without sex & masturbation for a few weeks. It's well worth it but can be hard to do.



I usually cave in after about 3 days  :Oops:

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## The Cusp

I've never ever had a wet dream.  But I've always been a chronic masturbator.

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## stnicka

the few times ive had it my load was bigger than ever litterally a puddle of cum
a horrible, horrible thing to wake to

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## lostinmydreams

> Jacking off can stop you from having a wet dream. I find not jacking off for 1-2 weeks really increases the odds of having a sex dream.




It's probably different for girls, but I find that when I'm horny and thinking about sex a lot, I masturbate constantly.  And this is the time when I have the most sex dreams.  Just thought I'd throw that out there.  :tongue2:

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## Conkt

> It's probably different for girls, but I find that when I'm horny and thinking about sex a lot, I masturbate constantly.  And this is the time when I have the most sex dreams.  Just thought I'd throw that out there.



Yeah, it's probably different for girls, then.

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## Kanious

In lucids i can orgasm...In non-ld's i can't

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## ninja9578

Orgasms tend to wake you up because you forget to check out everything else and make your dream fade away, you have to keep focused on the dream.  It is great to have orgasms that last like 5 minutes though  ::D:   ::D:   ::D:

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## Conkt

> It is great to have orgasms that last like 5 minutes though



Wow  :Eek:  How long did it take for you to learn to do that?

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## ninja9578

Not long, first couple times I tried to have sex I woke up, after I figured out how to stay asleep I managed to have insanely long powerful orgasms  ::D:

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## XeL

> Not long, first couple times I tried to have sex I woke up, after I figured out how to stay asleep I managed to have insanely long powerful orgasms



Write a tutorial! NAO!

I think I've had 1 sex dream like 2 years ago. It was very real and the the suprise of waking up with my boxers all sticky wasn't very pleasant.

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## ethan_hines

> Not long, first couple times I tried to have sex I woke up, after I figured out how to stay asleep I managed to have insanely long powerful orgasms



Are we talking 5min Male Orgasms or Female Orgasms?

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## ninja9578

Both, mostly male orgasms.  I switched my gender once or twice and had sex as the opposite sex.

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## ethan_hines

> Both, mostly male orgasms.  I switched my gender once or twice and had sex as the opposite sex.



I always wondered if that were possible, good to know.  Can you infulence your native sexuality inlucid as well, IE Can a gay guy go straight? Or is this Hardwired?

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## spiritofthewolf

i use to have wet dreams when i was a young kid, but being 24 now, I can't honestly remember the last one I had..

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## ninja9578

> I always wondered if that were possible, good to know.  Can you infulence your native sexuality inlucid as well, IE Can a gay guy go straight? Or is this Hardwired?



I'm not sure.  I'm bisexual in real life and dreams.  Ask a straight person if they go gay in dreams, or a gay person if they go straight.  Or a hot girl if they go lesbian, then ask them to describe it in detail.

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## Exdream

Not gonna lie, It would definitely be an interesting experience to try it from the other side of the playing field haha.

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## DragothD

is ther any tutorial or something on how to change your gender in a dream?

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## SpiderLily_x

> I figured out how to stay asleep I managed to have insanely long powerful orgasms 
> ...
> Both, mostly male orgasms. I switched my gender once or twice and had sex as the opposite sex.



You get to be my favorite person for the day.

Anyway, I second the don't masturbate for a while thing. For girls, I guess the more you think about/act on your sex drive in reality, the more likely it is for you to dream about it. But for guys however, it seems to me like the less sexual encounters they have the more likely they are to dream/think about sex. 

Not that I'm an expert on the male sex drive.

Anyway.

I've had sex dreams before, though I wasn't fully lucid. No orgasm, though I don't think I'd have had one had I managed to stay asleep.

And on changing sexual orientation, I have a question about that as well. For lack of a better word, I think of myself as bisexual, mainly attracted to the same sex. Especially more recently, I could go on about girls forever...and yet, I absolutly cannot have any contact with them in my dreams. For starters, other characters in my dreams are mostly male (if there are any at all, most of the time I'm alone or not with humans) and the female characters, no matter how attractive they should be, do not intrest me at all. Which, now that I look at it, doesn't actually bother me when I'm dreaming, but it confuses me afterwords. Is there a way to make yourself attracted to someone in a dream?

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## Ars_Moriendi

So referring to the strait person going gay in a dream comment... I've never done it intensionally in a LD, but I've had quite a few gay sex dreams non-Lucid and I have to say I wasn't very found of it... at all! On the bright side at least I was the pitcher

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## Figurine

> Ask a straight person if they go gay in dreams, or a gay person if they go straight.



For about a year, I was having wet dreams about twice a week (it got old FAST). Not once was there a female involved. It's always been with other guys, even now that I've been having lucids. Honestly, I don't think a female DC would do it for me  ::?:  But who knows?

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## Conkt

> I switched my gender once or twice and had sex as the opposite sex.



Hehe, that's fun.

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## XeL

> Both, mostly male orgasms.  I switched my gender once or twice and had sex as the opposite sex.



Haha, I so wanna try this.

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## Shift

> is ther any tutorial or something on how to change your gender in a dream?



I don't think one is necessary. If you're a girl IRL, in the dream reach down and start touching your dick, then look down at it. If you're a guy, reach down and feel your vagina and then look down at it. The thing about dreams is, there are lots of ways to do any single thing, and what works for one might not for another. For other things, many simple things can be done that work, it just requires a little creativity on the part of the dreamer. No tutorial is necessary, just come up with a plan ahead of time.

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## mcbambam

> I always wondered if that were possible, good to know.  Can you infulence your native sexuality inlucid as well, IE Can a gay guy go straight? Or is this Hardwired?



Im going to go out on a limb and say that if you are doing women in your dreams then chances are that you aren't gay and vice versa. I mean if you are straight and dream about other men then chances are you are going to come out of the closet sooner or later...after awhile of having these dreams I would think that some of it would carry over to waking life. To answer your question directly I personally have never had a gay dream so I could be wrong but I would think that a sexual dream would reflect your inner sexual desires.

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## SpiderLily_x

> I could be wrong but I would think that a sexual dream would reflect your inner sexual desires.



To some extent, I believe that's true, but plenty of people have dreams that involve physical relations with some people and wake up disgusted at the thought. If you wake up from a "gay/straight sex dream" and you can't stand the thought, then maybe it was just randomly on on your mind. If, on the other hand, you wake up and toss it around later to realize you like the idea, then it might reflect inner desires. It could go either way.

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## Lëzen

> Im going to go out on a limb and say that if you are doing women in your dreams then chances are that you aren't gay and vice versa. I mean if you are straight and dream about other men then chances are you are going to come out of the closet sooner or later...after awhile of having these dreams I would think that some of it would carry over to waking life. To answer your question directly I personally have never had a gay dream so I could be wrong but I would think that a sexual dream would reflect your inner sexual desires.



Disagree.

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## PrettyWitchy

It has never even occured to me to switch up my sexual orientation in a dream but I have had sex dream where I stop and think "Oh no!  I'm having sex in a dream, I will get too excited and wake up." and then I have a false awakening and dream about something entirely different but wake up hornier than hell in the morning.  It hasn't happened in a while bu tat first I was like WTF is going on!  But it's all cool now.  And like Exdream said, it would be intersting to play the other side of this field...

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## Jake Kobrin

I honestly believe I've only ever had one wet dream in my entire life. Usually in dream sex I get distracted within the dream or something. I only attempted sex within a lucid dream once and I woke up almost imediately upon penetration. Also it was weird, like I couldn't feel anything...

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## ethan_hines

> I'm not sure.  I'm bisexual in real life and dreams.  Ask a straight person if they go gay in dreams, or a gay person if they go straight.  Or a hot girl if they go lesbian, then ask them to describe it in detail.



I wasn't trying to pry. It just According to Tibetan Buddhists we have been both sexes and have had varied sexual orientations. So I just guessed that in non-physical reality those rules don't apply.I am gay but of course I've always wanted to know what being straight would be like and if I could experience it in this life time that would be great. I mean isn't that the whole point of life....Experince Everything

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are not necessarily the views of this particular sub-forum  :smiley:

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## DickGrabowsky

The only lucid sex dream I've ever had ended with me realizing that I was humping a mattress and giving up.

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## Ozzi99

Everything i read about dream control seems to be about self confidence, like Billy Bobs post. If you have total confidence that you can orgasm(wow that sounds wierd) then you will, where as if your doubtful and expecting that you will wake up, then you will. Same as flying and such. If you expect yourself to fail, then you most cetainly will.
Does this go to say that people who are quite self confident have naturally amazing dream control and vice-versa?

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## Keitorin

I remember waking up once 'going through the motions'. Left me really disoriented. I don't recall ever having an orgasm in my dreams - it's like the itch you can't scratch, only it keeps feeling good. XP

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how to describe myself (bisexual is probably it), but if I dream of sex, it's usually in a situation with another woman. I did have a threesome dream once (two women and one man). I remember one other with a man (in a church, no less). The rest I believe were women. I've been a man or boy before in my dreams, and even dreamed of men having sex together, but I've never in my dreams, as a man, had sex with another man. That would be totally interesting.  ::D:

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## ethan_hines

> Im going to go out on a limb and say that if you are doing women in your dreams then chances are that you aren't gay and vice versa. I mean if you are straight and dream about other men then chances are you are going to come out of the closet sooner or later...after awhile of having these dreams I would think that some of it would carry over to waking life. To answer your question directly I personally have never had a gay dream so I could be wrong but I would think that a sexual dream would reflect your inner sexual desires.



I would tend to agree with you.

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