# Lucid Dreaming > General Lucid Discussion >  >  Does substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend have serious consequences?

## Mathemagician-Taliskuji

I'm male btw. 

*Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself?* : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.

----------


## ollei

I don't know what kind of effects it would have, but you do understand that this "girlfriend" would only be a figment of your imagination and would probably not compensate for non existing interation with an actual person, don't you. I don't think you can replace the experience of interacting with real people with what essentialy is yourself.

----------


## tommo

I think it COULD compensate for a RL GF.  BUT not in every way.  For ecample you can't do stuff with her during the day.  I mean it's common sense, you don't really have to ask anybody.  It's not hard to realise you can't have a baby with a dream GF.  Well, not a real life baby anyway.  Plus the "too hard" thing is bullshit.  That's the whole fun.  If you get a dream GF instantly there's no fun.

----------


## AngelZlayer

I don't see any problem, as long as you remember that she doesn't actually exist. (Going around talking about an imaginary person could affect one's [real] social life, but this would only be an issue for those with some kind of mental problem that makes it difficult for them to tell dreams/fantasy from reality.)

In fact, I might get a dream gf (or several  :tongue2: ) when I start having lucid dreams.
Believing in love just ended up hurting me, so lucid dream "love" sounds much more appealing.

The point of lucid dreaming - in my opinion - is to have fun, so if having a dream gf is what you want, go for it!  :wink2:

----------


## ollei

Just don't forget that this GF is actually you, and that she only exists in your own head.

However I don't like the thought of comparing relationships with DC's (yourself) to interaction with other people. I don't doubt that talking to DC's could be an insightful or a pleasant experience, but I think the main things about life is getting as many viewpoints on the whole experence as possible. Therefore, I don't want to say that DC's would compensate for actual relationships with real moral consequense.

But maybe I am just taking this to seriously.  :tongue2:

----------


## Mariano

eh no, what's the problem with all of you?!
a fake girlfriend CAN'T replace a real girlfriend! never! we are talking about a human here! we are talking about life! I will accept of course, if you have a real, and a fake(imaginary, dreamy) one, but I'm sure your real girlfriend will not accept it
.




> Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so



that's ridiculous and means that you are not a strong person, I don't want to be bad, but come on.
that's completely immature and stupid, womens aren't wolves, they aren't super hard levels in where you must destroy yourself to win a kiss. don't be ridiculous, respect yourself, they are only humans. If you can't trust in yourself, and can't have a relationship with yourself, then is less probably that you can have a relationship with people. if you don't love yourself, you can't love other people, I'm sorry.
learn to live with yourself.





> Believing in love just ended up hurting me, so lucid dream "love" sounds much more appealing.



WTF, this is terrible man.
learn to live with that hurting,is part of life, you can't live in a world of roses.
also, what do you mean?? believing in love? love must not be "believed", love must be LIVED, and used it to gain experience.
when you start to "believe" in love, then I'm sorry, I know what men trying to do when this happens, I know what are you referring to, so, I must tell that you are doing things wrong.
learn from your experiences.
no person can't hurt your feelings if you are mature, strong, and you respect yourself.

"there are not bad women, just weak men."

----------


## Acala

I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF.  Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass?  With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order.  But you can't avoid sleeping!  And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you.  And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.

 ::D:

----------


## jarrhead

> I'm sure your real girlfriend will not accept it



Only if you tell her about it. It's dreams, you would be smart not to say anything about it.

----------


## AngelZlayer

> eh no, what's the problem with all of you?!
> a fake girlfriend CAN'T replace a real girlfriend! never!



Maybe he doesn't want a real/serious relationship  :wink2: 





> learn to live with that hurting,is part of life, you can't live in a world of roses.



I'm not much into love anyway. I might have been a few years ago, but it was probably just something I subconsciously told myself.

[Unsuccessful] love is one of the leading causes of emotional pain, and pain is undesirable, so because of my lack of interest in love, I choose to avoid it.





> learn from your experiences.



I have, and my experiences (the little I have had) told me that love is not for me.





> no person can't hurt your feelings if you are mature, strong, and you respect yourself.



It wasn't a girlfriend who hurt my feelings, it was *not having one*.
I don't go out and meet people, I sit in front of my computer all day, but I was too stupid to realize that this might be why I didn't get a gf.

I don't like social interactions (except when I'm drunk, lol), and that's what I meant when I said that love is not for me.
When I think back, I don't think I actually loved my gf (of course, I didn't realize this back then). I probably just tried to [subconsciously] make myself believe that I was interested in love/relationships because that's what teens are "supposed" to like.


*On-topic*: For people like me, real-life love is just a pain in the ass, so I'm all for having dream partners instead of real ones.
You have my support, Math ^^

----------


## jarrhead

> I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF. Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass? With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order. But you can't avoid sleeping! And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you. And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.



 ::D: 


I just have no interest in a relationship so i don't have an opinion. hahah.

----------


## tommo

True, love isn't for some people.  I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too.  I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love.  So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF.  If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.

----------


## jarrhead

> True, love isn't for some people. I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too. I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love. So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF. If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.



That sounds like its the wrong chick or you're insecure.

Dude, I just don't care about relatinships. I'm almost asexual, but i still want sex. hahaha.

----------


## Lucidness

Some people think this is pretty sad, others think its an amazing idea. lol. Me , personnally think its a bit of both.

----------


## Mariano

> True, love isn't for some people. I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too. I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love. So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF. If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.



of course love is for some people. but that people must be mentally ill or something, which is quite possible, and right now the world is full of them.
you suck at relationships? that's because you don't have enough experience.
but lets see something, you can be a person who doesn't want to change, you must understand that you probably finish alone. nobody is talking about big changes, just worrying about other people.

----------


## Rosewhip137

Personal opinion, I think the use of a dream girlfriend could help you prepare and learn what to expect from a real life girlfriend.

This is one of the benefits of lucid dreaming that Stephen Laberge reccomends in EWOLD, testing certain situations that you are preparing for.

----------


## Citrusponge

Having a dream fling with a celebrity or your hot teacher is one thing. But maintaining a continuous fantasy relationship is a whole other story. Sounds like one could get a bit obsessive, having one character on the mind all the time. Sounds almost as dangerous as getting a real girlfriend! Just kidding. But seriously.

Why limit yourself to monogamy in the realm where you potentially have ultimate freedom? You even could have more than one dreamt monogamous relationship, a different 'lifelong partner' each night, with strategic use of time dilation and false memory and history.

In conclusion: Disregard females, acquire currency. Do what thou wilt.

Me, I like romance as a genre of fiction. But as a dream fantasy, I am severely ambivalent. When I have dreams of love, I wake up with a slight sense of embarrassment. I could ramble on about this more. Maybe I will inflict my self-analysis upon some unsuspecting users of the chat room later this evening!

----------


## Abra

> Personal opinion, I think the use of a dream girlfriend could help you prepare and learn what to expect from a real life girlfriend.
> 
> This is one of the benefits of lucid dreaming that Stephen Laberge reccomends in EWOLD, testing certain situations that you are preparing for.



Yes. Getting a dream girlfriend for purposes of curing social anxieties, or phobias, is a great idea, and a good means to prepare OP for the real thing.

Unfortunately, OP didn't describe /why/ he wanted a dream girlfriend in the first place.





> I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF.  Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you *and gets all psycho stalker on your ass?*  With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order.  But you can't avoid sleeping!  And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that *as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you.  And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.*



*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
Stuff like that only happens in shitty writing. But, if someone /did/ claim to have nightmares over a dream breakup, they should simply remind themselves that since the dream lover is a part of them, and the dream-ex should understand perfectly the reasons for the break up and cease to torment.

----------


## Mariano

> Yes. Getting a dream girlfriend for purposes of curing social anxieties, or phobias, is a great idea, and a good means to prepare OP for the real thing.



oh yeah  ! it's extremely useful for that, even if is not a girlfriend, but a girl on a bus, or a girl walking...

----------


## jarrhead

> In conclusion: Disregard females, acquire currency. Do what thou wilt.









> Me, I like romance as a genre of fiction.



Romance + Fantasy is the perfect combination for me.  This is the main reason im like an emo chick to twilight for avatar.  It's an amazing fantasy, and it's not just a romance.  There's so much baggage involved with it. hahaha.

----------


## Mathemagician-Taliskuji

> True, love isn't for some people.  I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too.  I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love.  So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF.  If it's just that you *cbf*, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.



Does it mean can't be fussed in this case?

----------


## tommo

Can't be fucked, but yeah, can't be fussed I spose works too.
Basically you said it's too hard to get a real girlfriend or have a real girlfriend.  Which is a lame excuse to get a dream girlfriend.  As others have said, a good reason to get a dream girlfriend would be to practice for when you get a real life girlfriend.

----------


## mini0991

> I'm male btw. 
> 
> *Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself?* : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.



This isn't good at all!

Essentially, it's an admission that you can't get one in real life. You're essentially using lucid dreaming as a sort of drug to artificially create the same feelings as you'd get in real life with a girlfriend.

You know what lucid dreams are good for in this scenario? Fuck buddies. That's it. Find an LD fuck buddy and stick with that.

----------


## Hukif

Ah, you meant getting a dream GF instead of "I got a dream GF and ditched the RL one because of it", then, don't see much of a problem with that, so long as you don't confuse reality with dreams and don't think you can't get a waking GF because of it... yep.

----------


## Gutts

Oh christ, you cannot be serious.

Dreams are not a substitute for reality.  Lucid dreams are fun and totally awesome, but they are just that: dreams.  
Just because you can run as fast as the speed of sound in a dream doesn't mean you should stop exercising in real life.  Just because you can get laid in a dream doesn't mean you should stop trying to be romantically involved with someone in reality.  I can't believe that anyone would even consider it.

"hurr durr, but i cant gets a girlfriend Gutts!"

Then maybe it's time to step up and improve yourself.  Nobody wants to date a socially retarded recluse; which is what you must be if you really think getting a chick is "too hard." Start working out and talking to more women, the rest will work itself out.  You don't need pick up lines or stupid tricks.  It's human nature.

----------


## bewareofit1505

> I'm male btw. 
> 
> *Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself?* : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.



I think www.fastseduction.com would be much better for you than dreamviews. I'm not saying don't go to DV, but I used to be really insecure and wouldn't try because I knew I would fail.  It's self-destructive behavior and sure as shit didn't make me happy. I started looking into pick-up artists and learning techniques and things to be more attractive to girls. The words "seduction" and "pick up artist" sound bad, but it's really not about that. It's about becoming the person you want to be, and not the average frustrated chump (AFC) getting nowhere with yourself. 

I don't really do that stuff anymore, but I maintained the mentality from it, which is all it's really about. If you're too scared to try, how will you ever really know if a girl would like you or not?

----------


## lucid4sho

> Why limit yourself to monogamy in the realm where you potentially have ultimate freedom?



exactly.

Unless you are having very stable and vivid lucidity on a regular basis, then its a waste to worry about things like this. Otherwise, I would choose a never ending variety of women.

----------


## Maria92

> I'm male btw. 
> 
> *Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself?* : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.



Well, apart from the fact that you'll never reproduce and your internal emotional demons (NOT LITERALLY DEMONS, BTW) will probably never be dealt with...then no, you're fine.

----------


## hellohihello

Maybe because real girlfriends are well you know, real and imaginary girlfriends are well you know, imaginary. It's like those guys in japan who have pillow wives except in a dream.

----------


## CarmineEternity

*Cannot compensate for a real girl. But if you want to be with someone, it would be fine.*

----------


## tommo

> Oh christ, you cannot be serious.
> 
> Dreams are not a substitute for reality.  Lucid dreams are fun and totally awesome, but they are just that: dreams.  
> Just because you can run as fast as the speed of sound in a dream doesn't mean you should stop exercising in real life.  Just because you can get laid in a dream doesn't mean you should stop trying to be romantically involved with someone in reality.  I can't believe that anyone would even consider it.
> 
> "hurr durr, but i cant gets a girlfriend Gutts!"
> 
> Then maybe it's time to step up and improve yourself.  Nobody wants to date a socially retarded recluse; which is what you must be if you really think getting a chick is "too hard." Start working out and talking to more women, the rest will work itself out.  You don't need pick up lines or stupid tricks.  It's human nature.



I was gonna say something along those lines but didn't wanna be too mean (only because I'll probably be banned for life if I do that again).  Thanks lol

----------


## Dylan Tinning

Well all i can really say is, even though i have never experienced an LD yet i even know that women in your dreams are in fact... You... I would also say its crazy to give up a RL Girl for a feminine you that isn't even real... I would say its ok to have a Dream GF but i wouldn't stop pursuing/continuing a relationship in RL over it. Thats just crazy!

----------


## Acala

> *cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
> Stuff like that only happens in shitty writing. But, if someone /did/ claim to have nightmares over a dream breakup, they should simply remind themselves that since the dream lover is a part of them, and the dream-ex should understand perfectly the reasons for the break up and cease to torment.



I apologize to you and anyone else who didn't know i was jk.   ::roll::

----------


## tommo

I think he was the only one lol

----------


## AngelZlayer

> Just because you can get laid in a dream doesn't mean you should stop trying to be romantically involved with someone in reality. I can't believe that anyone would even consider it.



Maybe he is ok with just having a dream gf.
I was never succuessful in love, and lost interest because of it.

I don't want to have a gf in real-life *or* in a dream, but if I had to choose it would definitely be the dream gf.
In a lucid dream you can have any gf you want, anytime you want. In real-life you would just be wasting your valuable time (unless you have dating as a hobby).





> Then maybe it's time to step up and improve yourself.
> 
> Start working out



If someone needs to change themselves to get a partner, then obviously love is not for them.





> Nobody wants to date a socially retarded recluse; which is what you must be if you really think getting a chick is "too hard."



Which is why dream relationships are a better option for us socially retarded recluses who want to be ourselves but were simply not meant for love  :smiley: 





> the rest will work itself out.



Yeah, all the dissapointment, lonliness and other mental torment will happen all by itself. Hallelujah.


Love is way too overrated, so I think it's nice to see other people who don't take that delusional masochism too seriously  :smiley: 
In case you wonder what I mean by "delusional masochism": People search for love to find happiness. When they fail, they get an emotional scar from it. Instead of learning to appreciate themselves - which would allow the scars to heal -, they continue searching in hope that love will heal the very scars it *caused*. Subconscious masochism caused by delusions.

----------


## ollei

I would like to point out that this matter dosen't just concern what we call "love". This has to do with how we look upon social interaction in general. 

Why do anyone meet new people, get firends and girlfriends? It is not to get something you want, like sex for instance. Instead social interaction not only contributs to an increase in general and social experience it also teach us how what it means to be human. It gives us a new perspective on ourselfs, others, the experiences of different phenomenon that we share and so on. Everybody has an different outlook on things and by interacting with others we get a more varied and problematized understanding which makes us more tolerant and understanding. This is why we are discussing this mater on this forum in the first place. To test how we can think about stuff like love and friendship. 

Then if the OP only wishes to satisfy his sexual appitate in dreams, then go ahead. But don't think for one second that it will replace the experience of interacting with others. 



Sorry if my phrasing is off, im only swedish.

----------


## tommo

That's the most articulate and philisophical thing I've read all week.  Well done ollei.

----------


## alicexdoll

Wow! This thread is a fascinating peek into male psychology.

All the other girls are gonna be so mad at me when they find out I've given away our secret, but...

girls
are
just
*people.*

People with tits and pussies, yes, but still people.

I know. Shocking.

As a fairly-attractive-but-still-plenty-nerdy girl myself, I want to reassure you guys that yeah, some pretty girls are mean scary hateful people, but LOTS more of us are just people! We are nice, caring, respectful, sometimes as insecure as you, and willing to give you a chance. Whoever said "women aren't wolves" had it right. 

We don't bite, Mathemagician... unless you want us to.

That said, if expending the effort to attract and keep a waking-life girlfriend is not something you're interested in, then I think you should pursue whatever you think will make you happy, and if that means an LD GF, then go for it. Just don't be surprised if the fulfillment levels seem to differ from those of people in waking-life relationships.

Best of luck!

----------


## jarrhead

Alice, you're my hero.

----------


## Maria92

> Wow! This thread is a fascinating peek into male psychology.
> 
> All the other girls are gonna be so mad at me when they find out I've given away our secret, but...
> 
> girls
> are
> just
> *people.*
> 
> ...



I actually had no idea....I thought we were two totally different species.  ::D:

----------


## jarrhead

> I actually had no idea....I thought we were two totally different species.



Haha, well, where I live, that's how it usually is!

----------


## hellohihello

Girls are hawt and give you a warm fuzzy feeling, dream girls is just looking in a mirror

----------


## Gutts

> Maybe he is ok with just having a dream gf.
> I was never succuessful in love, and lost interest because of it.
> 
> No, you gave up.
> 
> I don't want to have a gf in real-life *or* in a dream, but if I had to choose it would definitely be the dream gf.
> In a lucid dream you can have any gf you want, anytime you want. In real-life you would just be wasting your valuable time (unless you have dating as a hobby).



If you think dating is a waste of time, then I don't even know how to respond.






> If someone needs to change themselves to get a partner, then obviously love is not for them.



It's called being your "best self" and you change for *you* so that you feel better about yourself and have the confidence and feel worthy of being in a healthy, loving relationship.  If you just sit around bitching about how you weren't meant to love, all that means if you're too lazy and scared to get off your ass and do something about it.






> Yeah, all the dissapointment, lonliness and other mental torment will happen all by itself. Hallelujah.



Life is disappointing sometimes.  Rejection is a part of life.  You can either learn to not let it affect you or you can do what you've done and seal yourself off and justify it with an endless number of reasons because you're too afraid.






> is way too overrated, so I think it's nice to see other people who don't take that delusional masochism too seriously 
> In case you wonder what I mean by "delusional masochism": People search for love to find happiness. When they fail, they get an emotional scar from it. Instead of learning to appreciate themselves - which would allow the scars to heal -, they continue searching in hope that love will heal the very scars it *caused*. Subconscious masochism caused by delusions.



Wow.

----------


## cygnus

compassion, love and all those other nuances of emotion are as real in a dream as anything.

though a dream is illusory, you're still existing as yourself - your mind. cultivating positive feelings in dreams and confronting what is hindering your inner, mental world is very doable and rewarding. 

for example: if something makes you angry in your waking state, then facing this in a dream, practicing patience and reducing your aversion to whatever it is will improve your life. neural plasticity doesn't only apply to your waking mental state. 

as for dream girlfriends, i have interacted with women in lucid dreams and experienced some of the things you can get from a relationship in waking life. based on what i mentioned, there is nothing wrong with caring and loving anyone or everything. 

but if you become so attached to the pleasure you get from a partner in your dreams that you neglect your physical world, this is an unbalanced way to live. this isn't very different from any other experience in dreams. 

the content of those experiences can be as real as you believe it to be, but that doesn't nullify your responsibility to your _entire_ self.

----------


## Lucidness

You cannot mix reality and lucid dreaming together. Making a whole new life while you lucid dream is stupid, you should only experience it, not look forward to coming home from work because your dream wife is making dinner. People will just start to think your going insane.

----------


## jarrhead

> look forward to coming home from work because your dream wife is making dinner.




hahahahahhaha!

----------


## jarrhead

> We don't bite, Mathemagician... unless you want us to.



Get over here, nao.

----------


## bewareofit1505

> I would like to point out that this matter dosen't just concern what we call "love". This has to do with how we look upon social interaction in general. 
> 
> Why do anyone meet new people, get firends and girlfriends? It is not to get something you want, like sex for instance. Instead social interaction not only contributs to an increase in general and social experience it also teach us how what it means to be human. It gives us a new perspective on ourselfs, others, the experiences of different phenomenon that we share and so on. Everybody has an different outlook on things and by interacting with others we get a more varied and problematized understanding which makes us more tolerant and understanding. This is why we are discussing this mater on this forum in the first place. To test how we can think about stuff like love and friendship. 
> 
> Then if the OP only wishes to satisfy his sexual appitate in dreams, then go ahead. But don't think for one second that it will replace the experience of interacting with others. 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry if my phrasing is off, im only swedish.



I agree with you on everything here EXCEPT I don't believe interacting with more people will make a person that isn't already open-minded more tolerant and understanding.  I know plenty of people who have had countless interactions with all kinds of people and are no more tolerable or understanding than before. On the other hand, I have an open mind and therefore meeting people with different views has broadened my realm of the general way the world works.

----------


## tommo

> You cannot mix reality and lucid dreaming together. Making a whole new life while you lucid dream is stupid, you should only experience it, not look forward to coming home from work because your dream wife is making dinner. People will just start to think your going insane.



Bullshit.  This is a great way to use lucid dreams.  Have two lives.  Who gives a FUCK if people think you're crazy?  Seriously.  That's the dumbest reason not to do something.  Everyone thought Darwin was crazy when he said the Ghost Orchid must have a moth with a 3-inch nose that pollinates it.  Later on they found a moth with a 3-inch nose.

People have to stop worrying what other people think.  I think it would be awesome to have a whole life in my dreams, and I'd do it if I could LD every night.  Course I wouldn't have a wife etc.  I'd be a superhero who could get any girl he wants.

----------


## jarrhead

I had a lucid dream girlfriend last night.  It seems now like the dream lasted two days, but I know all the little fragments it was made by.  Anyways I had sex twice, left, found another chick, woke up.  I just sat down and went right back into my dream seconds later, this time lucid. Went back to the chick, kept trying to finish. Nope. Four times later, finally did. Then I woke up satisfied. hahaha.  Only cause it was a chick down the street from me the second time. @[email protected]

----------


## Ethereal

> I don't see any problem, as long as you remember that she doesn't actually exist. (Going around talking about an imaginary person could affect one's [real] social life, but this would only be an issue for those with some kind of mental problem that makes it difficult for them to tell dreams/fantasy from reality.)
> 
> In fact, I might get a dream gf (or several ) when I start having lucid dreams.
> Believing in love just ended up hurting me, so lucid dream "love" sounds much more appealing.
> 
> The point of lucid dreaming - in my opinion - is to have fun, so if having a dream gf is what you want, go for it!



Sweet, someone who's been here as long as me and yet hasn't had an LD. Up high baby!

----------


## Lucidness

You simply cannot live a dream life. Besides, it would change every time you dream so what's the point?

----------


## tommo

It doesn't have to.  It's a dream remember.

----------


## cygnus

> Everyone thought Darwin was crazy when he said the Ghost Orchid must have a moth with a 3-inch nose that pollinates it.  Later on they found a moth with a 3-inch nose.



oh crap this made me laugh. moth with a 3-inch nose. it's called a proboscis, tommo  ::D: 

but i'm agreeing with most of what you are saying. just ask waking nomad about a dream life and stable dream environments. and when i was young i had a lot of dreams in a couple dream locations that were the same when i returned to them.

----------


## AngelZlayer

> No, you gave up.



We all give up, just on different things.

When people can't stand themselves they create a hole inside them, and try to fill it with someone else.
I gave up on love because I didn't find that someone (luckily), so I learned to appreciate myself, while most people give up on themselves instead.





> It's called being your "best self" and you change for *you* so that you feel better about yourself and have the confidence and feel worthy of being in a healthy, loving relationship.



Good for them. I would rather be who I am though.

Being my "best self" wouldn't make a difference, I would have to make a major change in my personality, which is a life I wouldn't want to live.





> If you just sit around bitching about how you weren't meant to love, all that means if you're too lazy and scared to get off your ass and do something about it.



In my case, I realized that I never had much interest in love. I thought I had a real interest, but that was just something I had subconsciously told myself because that's what teenagers are "supposed" to be interested in.

People want a relationship because they're *scared* of dying alone.

Btw, I'm not bitching, I'm sharing my opinion.
In my eyes, you are "bitching" about how you are not comfortable with yourself, and that you are too "lazy and scared" to do something about it.





> Life is disappointing sometimes. Rejection is a part of life. You can either learn to not let it affect you



In my experience, love caused much more pain than pleasure.
I don't know about you, but I think that pain is undesirable.

Oh, let me guess, the pleasures of love is worth the pain. Well, not for me.
I have learned to find pleasure elsewhere.
To make an anology: You deliberately hit your hand with a hammer to eventually get a tiny piece of love-candy once in a while, while I go to the candystore and buy lots of other candy instead (the candy that doesn't require pain). One piece of candy for you, a million for me. One piece of candy for you, a million for me...





> or you can do what you've done and seal yourself off and justify it with an endless number of reasons because you're too afraid.



Here is my "endless" number of reasons: I never truly had an interest.

You can learn to fully appreciate yourself and your hobbies, or you can do what you've done and seal yourself off from yourself and justify it with an endless number of reasons because you're too afraid  :wink2: 





> Wow.



That's the dark truth. Instead of trying to gradually appreciate themselves, they give in to the illusion of love, not knowing that they are simultaneously digging the hole of misery even deeper.

I was falling for a long time, but I managed to climb up and fill the hole.
Too bad most people are digging, loving, falling and repeating. Well, whatever floats their boat.

----------


## cygnus

angelzlayer it sounds like you're talking about romantic love or attachment. you must have some love for people or anything else aside from this.

----------


## AngelZlayer

> angelzlayer it sounds like you're talking about romantic love or attachment. you must have some love for people or anything else aside from this.



Correct. I love my friends, I love videogames (lol) etc. It's romantic love (what I call "real" love) I don't like, although I have no problem with other people liking it.

----------


## Elem3nt0

You got some really cool LD goals lol

To answer your question though. NO. I dont think its a good idea. UNLESS you know ands really believe that it is all your imagination and that any dream relationship is like having a relationship with yourself, and that they will never be as meaningful as a real true relationship, then yes, go for it.

----------


## Acala

Some folks would say that so called "waking" life is every bit as much a dream as what we call dreaming.  Just a dream of a different kind on a different level.  Perhaps the OP is on to something.  Or perhaps he needs to treat his waking life and waking life girls the same way he plans on treating his dream life girlfriend.  

I'm certainly no expert, but it seems that in lucid dreaming, having confidence that you can do something is nearly all that is required to get the desired outcome.  It is not a far stretch to say that the same is true in waking life - ESPECIALLY with girls.  

OP, if you approach waking life girls with the same confidence as you do lucid dream girls, you might find that you will have the outcome you want.

----------


## cygnus

> Correct. I love my friends, I love videogames (lol) etc. It's romantic love (what I call "real" love) I don't like, although I have no problem with other people liking it.




hmm yeah, romantic love can be largely for the purpose of having children and then raising those children... so it can be in part a result of biology, whereas more generalized love is less so.

it's possible that the "_it'll degrade the family system of the country!_" mindset is at the heart of those who criticize the idea of having a romantic dream relationship (and as we already know, gay marriage and a number of other things). 

i don't want to have children, and there is nothing wrong with having relationships that make you happy even if they don't lead to more people. 

so, in essence i can't see how people's distaste for this kind of thing is so far different from opposing gay relationships, the use of psychoactive plants, or having meaningful experiences in dreams. but i will repeat that you are responsible for both your physical and mental/dream lives and shouldn't emphasize only one.

-- i also tend to agree with acala that both waking life and dreams are illusory, we are only energetically conditioned to operate mainly in the physical.

----------


## jarrhead

I do not want children, a wedding, or even a relationship. I have a feeling that probably won't change, seeing as i'm four years into puberty and I should be raging right now

----------


## cygnus

> I do not want children




hurrah! i wish more people would think like this.

----------


## Elem3nt0

> I do not want children, a wedding, or even a relationship. I have a feeling that probably won't change, seeing as i'm four years into puberty and I should be raging right now



lol trust me. As you get older you go through so many phases, your eyes will open lol

----------


## cygnus

> lol trust me. As you get older you go through so many phases, your eyes will open lol



true, but there are still people who choose to never have children and stick with that. one of my uncles never had any kids and i thought he was pretty cool for it.

it's just all those mother******s who get married after a few months then start having kid after kid after kid like the miracle of childbirth is such a fascinating thing who need to be neutered.

----------


## cygnus

hey, now that i think of it.

:O

substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend may save the planet!!!!

----------


## jarrhead

hahahaha.  Sounds like a lot of people here. In the city, you've got gangsters and half the high school is pregnant.

----------


## Leviatahon

> hahahaha.  Sounds like a lot of people here. In the city, you've got gangsters and half the high school is pregnant.



sounds like my old school.

----------


## jarrhead

Sounds like my current school.  :tongue2: 

The placement is a failure.  We have kids from spring lake (ghetto) kids from upper city (my place) and kids from the linden (country) all in one school.  Rednecks and gangsters do NOT go together.

We're also the poorest school.

----------


## Maria92

> I do not want children, a wedding, or even a relationship. I have a feeling that probably won't change, seeing as i'm four years into puberty and I should be raging right now



Pfft. That will change.  :wink2:  I, too, do not want children. 





> hurrah! i wish more people would think like this.



Indeed. 





> lol trust me. As you get older you go through so many phases, your eyes will open lol



Indeed. You've only just begun the fascinating voyage that is puberty. When you hit 17, believe me, your life will revolve around women.  ::teeth:: 





> true, but there are still people who choose to never have children and stick with that. one of my uncles never had any kids and i thought he was pretty cool for it.
> 
> it's just all those mother******s who get married after a few months then start having kid after kid after kid like the miracle of childbirth is such a fascinating thing who need to be neutered.



Nothing wrong with not having kids...and yeah, there are some people out there who should not breed. Ever. 





> hey, now that i think of it.
> 
> :O
> 
> substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend may save the planet!!!!



...holy crap, I never thought of it that way before. Go, man, go! Best of luck to you. Tell the Mrs. I said "hi."  ::D:

----------


## Leviatahon

> Sounds like my current school. 
> 
> The placement is a failure.  We have kids from spring lake (ghetto) kids from upper city (my place) and kids from the linden (country) all in one school.  Rednecks and gangsters do NOT go together.
> 
> We're also the poorest school.



ya we had that problum back in VA with the rednecks and the gangsters

----------


## jarrhead

> Indeed. You've only just begun the fascinating voyage that is puberty. When you hit 17, believe me, your life will revolve around women.




Most boys hit puberty at 12-14.  At 17 you'll be about 4 years into it.
I hit puberty at 10. I am now 4 years into it.

So I should be on the same hormonal level, right?

----------


## Leviatahon

> Most boys hit puberty at 12-14.  At 17 you'll be about 4 years into it.
> I hit puberty at 10. I am now 4 years into it.
> 
> So I should be on the same hormonal level, right?



i hit it at 10 too and the hormonal lvl is different for every one.

----------


## Maria92

It strikes at a different time for everyone, but eventually, your experiences will leave you to conclude that women are stunning creatures. Puberty does not equal finding women/men attractive, but it certainly helps.  :wink2:

----------


## jarrhead

Oh I still find women absolutely stunning..  Relationships, not so much.

----------


## Maria92

> Oh I still find women absolutely stunning..  Relationships, not so much.



AH! Now I understand you more.  ::D:  Yes, I can see that...


*Spoiler* for _Post_: 








Sorry if anyone was offended by that, but the first bit is the truth. Until you get a good job, women really are a drain on one's time and money...used to feel exactly the same way. I now have a job, and would be happy to be in a relationship, though I'm not obsessed with finding one, nor am I actively seeking one. I suspect this attitude will change throughout life, though.  ::D:

----------


## Catbus

If you can deal with the fact that your dream lover is completely, 100% imaginary, then go for it.

----------


## Gutts

> Good for them. I would rather be who I am though.
> 
> Being my "best self" wouldn't make a difference, I would have to make a major change in my personality, which is a life I wouldn't want to live.



Unless you kill children or something, you won't have to make a "major" personality change.  Even then you might not have to change, even Richard Ramirez had a wife.






> People want a relationship because they're *scared* of dying alone.



You're born alone and believe me you'll die alone.  But you don't have to live alone.  People want relationships because it's a biological need.  Whether you're straight, gay, a swinger, or a furry, it's all a manifestation of humans evolutionary hard-wiring to want a romantic other in their life.  We are social animals.  You can dance around it all you want and call other people weak or unappreciative of themselves, but in the end it's not even up for debate.  Seeking some sort of "other" is a biological imperative, right up there with food and water.

Not even trying to at least hook up with girls is tantamount to not eating.  Your physical body will deteriorate from lack of food, your emotional/spiritual "body" will deteriorate from lack of love.  Forgive the wording (lol new age.)






> In my experience, love caused much more pain than pleasure.
> I don't know about you, but I think that pain is undesirable.



Well I don't like getting punched in the kidney when I box, but really enjoy punching people in the face and the body i get from training.  The pros outweigh the cons, so I endure the pain. You can't go through life being so risk avoidant and then tell me it's not because you're afraid or weak; that's the definition of both.






> Oh, let me guess, the pleasures of love is worth the pain. Well, not for me.
> I have learned to find pleasure elsewhere.
> To make an anology: You deliberately hit your hand with a hammer to eventually get a tiny piece of love-candy once in a while, while I go to the candystore and buy lots of other candy instead (the candy that doesn't require pain). One piece of candy for you, a million for me. One piece of candy for you, a million for me...



Translation:
_I can't get a decent girl so I gave up and try to uselessly fill that void with other things.  Jokes on me I guess, because you can't put a square block into a round hole, if you know what I mean._

It doesn't matter if you have 2 million pieces of candy or a billion, it's not the same type of candy. That's the entire point I'm trying to make.  You can't replace a person with fucking hobbies.  Period.








> Here is my "endless" number of reasons: I never truly had an interest.
> 
> You can learn to fully appreciate yourself and your hobbies, or you can do what you've done and seal yourself off from yourself and justify it with an endless number of reasons because you're too afraid



Slick ad hominem, but you missed the mark.

I think you're thinking of co-dependency, and that's not what I'm talking about at all.  You can love yourself and others, what world are you living in where it's one or the other?  I think that in order to be in a truly healthy relationship you HAVE to appreciate yourself and your hobbies.  Otherwise you or your partner will just be insecure, and that's the #1 relationship killer.








> That's the dark truth. Instead of trying to gradually appreciate themselves, they give in to the illusion of love, not knowing that they are simultaneously digging the hole of misery even deeper.
> 
> I was falling for a long time, but I managed to climb up and fill the hole.
> Too bad most people are digging, loving, falling and repeating. Well, whatever floats their boat.



Life must be cold and alienating if that's your world view.  I think you're missing out on a lot with your attitude.  More than you'll ever know if you stick to that mantra.

----------


## tommo

> oh crap this made me laugh. moth with a 3-inch nose. it's called a proboscis, tommo 
> 
> but i'm agreeing with most of what you are saying. just ask waking nomad about a dream life and stable dream environments. and when i was young i had a lot of dreams in a couple dream locations that were the same when i returned to them.



Well, proboscis is basically a nose, plus I didn't think anyone would know what that meant lol  My point is still valid.





> I think you're thinking of co-dependency, and that's not what I'm talking about at all. You can love yourself and others, what world are you living in where it's one or the other? I think that in order to be in a truly healthy relationship you HAVE to appreciate yourself and your hobbies. Otherwise you or your partner will just be insecure, and that's the #1 relationship killer.



That pretty much sums up what I've thought of the last page or so.  You can be yourself and be in love too.

People seem to think you have to change to have a relationship and you can't stay yourself.  This is bullshit, if you have to change, you're going for the wrong person.  Now most people don't even know their true self.  They put on a mask all the time.  So if you changed for someone, you'd just be changing from one mask to another.  Which isn't so bad, but it's fake.
But if you know your true self - that there is no self.  You can change for anyone and still be.... yourself.  It's really quite hilarious.

----------


## ollei

> I agree with you on everything here EXCEPT I don't believe interacting with more people will make a person that isn't already open-minded more tolerant and understanding.  I know plenty of people who have had countless interactions with all kinds of people and are no more tolerable or understanding than before. On the other hand, I have an open mind and therefore meeting people with different views has broadened my realm of the general way the world works.





Yes, I understand what you are trying to say and I agree with you to a certain extent. Sure there are people who doesn't become more tolerant or understanding due to there closed mindedness. But I also think this comes from how we look upon social interation in general. If nobody values anyone elses insights or outlooks you will not be effected by them, this is also why I reacted againts the OP's wish to have a lucid GF. In my opinon it represents an attitude towards interaction with other people from which nothing good will come as it reduces interaction to a relationship which only purpose is satisfaction or reducing conflict ( i.e the value of a relationship becomes what you can get out of it (sex, pleasuer etc)). You might see what I am getting at, it is a kind of attitude that makes you closed minded as it is in essence egocentric. 
I suppose it is an OK attitude to live by in dreams as everything there is a construct of your own mind. My only worry is that this egocentric attitude will seem more attractive and therefore become the basis on which this induvudual would mould his relationships to other people. This is exactly the kind of attitude that propagates closed mindedness, and therefore it is no good.



And this exactly why I reacted against the OP's wish to have a lucid GF in the first place.

----------


## tommo

But what makes you think something good can't come out of a dream GF?

----------


## Awakening

Ollei, I know people that have wife and children and still are close-minded. It's something (an open or close mind) you get depending on your thoughts and attitudes towards life. Actually, I think that having a BF or sex on LDs makes you independent emotionally, what is pretty healthy, be you alone or married with children.

----------


## AngelZlayer

> Unless you kill children or something, you won't have to make a "major" personality change. Even then you might not have to change, even Richard Ramirez had a wife.



I don't like social interactions, I prefer to sit in front of my computer. That's a big part of who I am. Changing it would have been like Leonardo Da Vinci not painting, or Cristiano Ronaldo not playing soccer.





> People want relationships because it's a biological need.



I don't feel much of that need.





> your emotional/spiritual "body" will deteriorate from lack of love.



On the contrary, I feel great now that I don't have an interest in love.
Thanks to my lack of interest, the lack of love doesn't bother me anymore.

My emotional body used to be a shipwreck. For 3 years I wanted to have a girlfriend, but only managed to get a relationship that lasted for less than two weeks.
I was too stupid to realize that maybe I didn't meet girls because I sat inside all the time. This is what I meant when I said that I was never ment for love: I wasn't interested in meeting people, I was fine with being alone. My "interest" was, like I said, something I had given myself because teens are "supposed" to want a relationship.
I dug a hole of misery without even knowing it.





> Well I don't like getting punched in the kidney when I box, but really enjoy punching people in the face and the body i get from training.  The pros outweigh the cons, so I endure the pain.



Exactly, you get something you like out of it, I don't.





> You can't go through life being so risk avoidant and then tell me it's not because you're afraid or weak; that's the definition of both.



Love is not for me, so taking that risk again would be stupid of me.





> Translation:
> I can't get a decent girl so I gave up and try to uselessly fill that void with other things.



I already had other things (everyone does), they are called interests and hobbies.

I could just as easily say you don't truly appreciate your life, and uselessly fill that void with someone else's life (a partner).





> Jokes on me I guess, because you can't put a square block into a round hole, if you know what I mean.



If love is a squared block, then I'm the round hole (that sounds so wrong, lol).





> It doesn't matter if you have 2 million pieces of candy or a billion, it's not the same type of candy.



We all have different tastes, and I don't like the love-candy. I like the types I have though.





> That's the entire point I'm trying to make.  You can't replace a person with fucking hobbies. Period.



I already have.





> Slick ad hominem, but you missed the mark.



It was actually meant as a joke. My apologies if I seemed rude.





> I think you're thinking of co-dependency, and that's not what I'm talking about at all.  You can love yourself and others, what world are you living in where it's one or the other?



Of course you can have both, but I think that the less people love themselves, the more they will want a partner to love them instead.
The more people love themselves, the less likely they to feel the need for a partner.





> I think that in order to be in a truly healthy relationship you HAVE to appreciate yourself and your hobbies.  Otherwise you or your partner will just be insecure, and that's the #1 relationship killer.



I wasn't only talking about healthy relationships though, but relationships in general.





> Life must be cold and alienating if that's your world view.



Ironically, it was my search for love that gave me this world view  :tongue2: 
Before that, I was full of delusional hopes, just like most teenagers.





> I think you're missing out on a lot with your attitude. More than you'll ever know if you stick to that mantra.



I missed out on 3 years of my life because of love.
I could have done something useful and - for me - enjoyable with that time, instead of chasing ghosts.

The only thing I'm missing out on with this attitude is misery.

----------


## ollei

> But what makes you think something good can't come out of a dream GF?



Well, it is not so much the fact that the guy wants a dream GF that is the problem rather it is the fact that he thinks this dream GF can replace an actual person.





> Ollei, I know people that have wife and children and still are close-minded. It's something (an open or close mind) you get depending on your thoughts and attitudes towards life. Actually, I think that having a BF or sex on LDs makes you independent emotionally, what is pretty healthy, be you alone or married with children.



I don't think I understand what you mean when you say "independent emotionally". Otherwise I agree that openmindedness I a sort of state of mind which depends on a persons thoughts and attitudes. I react upon the fact that this guy wishes to replace an actual person with a fantasy. I guess the reason for this is that the fantasy is more "manageble" or that the OP thinks he can get more of what he wants with less effort. If this is the reason the fantasy would be more favourable I think it reflects the kind of attitude which makes us closed minded.

----------


## tommo

I think you don't need a romantic love relationship.  It's not a biological need.  But SEX and REPRODUCTION is.  So I think it would be good to have a kid someday.  I've always wanted to, just to see what it's like really, a new experience, it would be surreal (because of the current fucked up state the world is in, it's probably not a good idea just yet though).  But I've never wanted to commit to a long term relationship.  So anyone wanting a dream GF in lieu of a RL GF I think should also get out and have sex occasionally.

Sorry if it made no sense I'm drunk.

----------


## jarrhead

> So anyone wanting a dream GF in lieu of a RL GF I think should also get out and have sex occasionally.
> 
> Sorry if it made no sense I'm drunk.



 
This is me.

----------


## Mariano

> people want a relationship because they are scared of dying alone



this is the biggest....WTF
isn't true.
everyone will die alone, it's ridiculous.

and that thing about women = money * time it's ridiculous too.
if you know how to manage your life, I can say that you won't spend money nor time, or at least, the least, the very least.

----------


## jarrhead

> this is the biggest....WTF
> isn't true.
> everyone will die alone, it's ridiculous.
> 
> and that thing about women = money * time it's ridiculous too.
> if you know how to manage your life, I can say that you won't spend money nor time, or at least, the least, the very least.



 
The math formula was a joke...

I'm perfectly happy alone.

----------


## Elem3nt0

This is one of those times where someone would be better off without LD. This guy has taken LD and is gonna have a dream GF because he doesnt want a real GF. Ok buddy you do that, but your making a mistake. The biggest thing about actually, physically, being, is the experiences you can have with other people. 

Im sorry, but you are just being completely retarded.

----------


## ollei

> Im sorry, but you are just being completely retarded.




Well, that is just offensive.

----------


## Elem3nt0

Sorry lol.

But seriously i mean come on. The only person who would substitute a real life experience for some made up dream gf is someone who sits at home all day every day with no life and no friends. Its a personal problem and not one that any of us can fix. If he wants to be a hermit and have imaginary GF's then w/e, im not gonna argue about it, i feel dumb already.

----------


## Awakening

> I don't think I understand what you mean when you say "independent emotionally". Otherwise I agree that openmindedness I a sort of state of mind which depends on a persons thoughts and attitudes. I react upon the fact that this guy wishes to replace an actual person with a fantasy. I guess the reason for this is that the fantasy is more "manageble" or that the OP thinks he can get more of what he wants with less effort. If this is the reason the fantasy would be more favourable I think it reflects the kind of attitude which makes us closed minded.



By emotional independence I mean that you don't need be along anyone else to be happy. I'm not saying you shouldn't try enjoying awake life too, but rather that you can be happy even if someone you want to be together doesn't feel the same way.

To be true, I would try to train in dreams so I wouldn't do bad when I try IRL. I'm more for having sex with random hot women in LDs than having a BF for fun.

----------


## SKA

> I'm male btw. 
> 
> *Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself?* : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.



Going for a Lucid Dream girlfriend should never be a Reason to cease trying to find a waking life girlfriend.

Dream Life cannot be a substitute for waking Life. Nor can Waking life be a substitute for dreaming life.

If you find it hard to find a nice girl to enter a relationship with, don't settle for a Lucid Dream girlfriend, but instead try harder.
If you settle for a Lucid dream girlfriend you might make it too easy for yourself to stop trying to find a waking life girlfriend.

Besides why substitute one for another when you can have both?? Try harder relating to a girl you like in waking life.

If you have a waking life girlfriend, you could easily have a girl or an entire entourage of female lovers in the dream world and there's not a chance you'd ever really be cheating. So this is the way to go if you seek polygamy and monogamy at the same time.

----------


## jarrhead

I agree with ska.

Just don't tell your waking life girlfriend about it.

----------


## Elem3nt0

> I agree with ska.
> 
> Just don't tell your waking life girlfriend about it.



isnt that the problem? the fact that he would rather love an imaginary person than have a real gf?

----------


## jarrhead

Meh. I'm not interested in relationships.

Dreams are a way to live any fantasy you want. It's your right to do whatever you want.
As long as he doesn't become addicted to this girlfriend in his dreams, I don't see a problem.

----------


## Leviatahon

> Meh. I'm not interested in relationships.
> 
> Dreams are a way to live any fantasy you want. It's your right to do whatever you want.
> As long as he doesn't become addicted to this girlfriend in his dreams, I don't see a problem.



i 100% agree     .

----------


## Gutts

> I don't like social interactions, I prefer to sit in front of my computer. That's a big part of who I am. Changing it would have been like Leonardo Da Vinci not painting, or Cristiano Ronaldo not playing soccer



Oh shit.  You did not just compare yourself sitting on your ass in your dark goblin cave to Ronaldo and Da Vinci.

I'm not even respond anymore after that one. Enjoy your crippling loneliness when you wake up one day and realize that you wasted your youth in front of a computer screen.

----------


## jarrhead

> Oh shit.  You did not just compare yourself sitting on your ass in your dark goblin cave to Ronaldo and Da Vinci.




LOL!  ::dancingcow::

----------


## Leviatahon

lmfao          .

----------


## SKA

Sure if you wish to be largely disembodied, live in the dark, become one with your PC and live in Social Phobia having no friends or girlfriend: go ahead. I'd be the last to tell you your lifestyle is wrong. Go ahead, if it works for you.

However the one who started this topic asked what possible further consequences substituting waking life girlfriends, friends, desires..etc for dreaming life girlfriends, friends, desires..etc could have.

So he's asking for the possible downsides of such an imaginairy replacement of waking life.

So I answer him: You can't substitute waking life for dreaming life or vice versa.
If you live in a dreamworld only and remain passive and sociopathic in waking life then you're wasting about 2/3d of your life.

You can't hide in your dreams forever. Sure I love spending time in my dreams and reckon if somehow I'd never wake up again and forever dream I'd be fine with it.

However dreams cannot make up for a shitty waking life. If you're sociopathic, live in the dark and spend allmost all your time behind a PC: Your waking life is seVERELY limited and underdeveloped.

Why not develop more social skills? Why not go out more? Why not try some Yoga and/or sports? Why not search for somethiong in Waking life that makes you happy?
Why not at least TRY to experience more Pleasure during waking life?
For the love of God please try to improve your happyness in waking life, not by seeking refuge in the dreamworld, but by breaking through your own barriers of Sociophobia, Agoraphobia and fear of failure in waking life. Surely a good night of dreaming can help you resolve deep psychic issues and process/release stress from waking life, but totally trading Waking life for Dreaming life doesn't make you free or happy; It makes you a refugee. 

If waking life sucks: do your best to improve it.

----------


## AngelZlayer

> Oh shit. You did not just compare yourself sitting on your ass in your dark goblin cave to Ronaldo and Da Vinci.



I was talking about personality and not accomplishments, but go ahead, twist my point if it helps you feel better about yourself.

----------


## Nakamashi

*To the OP:* Just remember that if you want to have babies IRL, you're going to have to have sex IRL at some point. Otherwise, go for it!

In fact, I think that everyone should do what makes them happy, change themselves for the better only if they aren't happy, and stop caring so much about the ways that others choose to live their lives!

 ::teeth:: 

Seriously.

----------


## tommo

If everyone thinks this guy (who doesn't seem to respond here anyway) is so retarded.  You should be glad he's not gonna be passing on his genes lol
IMO he's probably trolling.  He's responded once in 5 pages.

----------


## jarrhead

> If everyone thinks this guy (who doesn't seem to respond here anyway) is so retarded. You should be glad he's not gonna be passing on his genes lol
> IMO he's probably trolling. He's responded once in 5 pages.



He had a ton of quotes in the same post.

----------


## tommo

what?
He had one quote and he said "does this mean can't be fussed?" or something.

----------


## SKA

Also a dream girlfriend would be your own creation. She would be "perfect". Exactly fit your ideals.

We human beings allways are so naive. We Want want want. want this want that.

But so often what we want isn't what we need. That's why it's good to have a real life girl friend. And real life friends. That don't behave as you desire or expect.
Those that are as they are and not as you desire. Because allthough we so often desire to create uniformity, what we really need is diversity. Diversity in characters.

Only from this difference we can develop. Change. Grow.
We can learn from eachother. We learn that life isn't allways what we desire it to be. Learning to accept people as they are, even if they aren't like us with views and beliefs different from our own, is a way to learn to except all of life; as it is, even if it isn't at all what we desire it to be. 

Now imagine a Lucid dream world in which everything and everybody is exACTLY as we desire. What a boring, static world it would be. And a world that would never develop, grow or change. If we cling on to this dreamt up utopia we would never be motivated to grow, improve, develop our personalities and our world.

I know it can be hard to suffer social phobia. I know it can be hard to find a nice girl and hook up with her. But the suffering this causes are nececairy evils. Nececairy evils that motivate us to improve, develop and grow. As individuals and as humanity as a whole.

I often curse them too, but I see the importance of their existance so every now and then I realise how they are blessed.

----------


## Gutts

> Also a dream girlfriend would be your own creation. She would be "perfect". Exactly fit your ideals.
> 
> We human beings allways are so naive. We Want want want. want this want that.
> 
> But so often what we want isn't what we need. That's why it's good to have a real life girl friend. And real life friends. That don't behave as you desire or expect.
> Those that are as they are and not as you desire. Because allthough we so often desire to create uniformity, what we really need is diversity. Diversity in characters.
> 
> Only from this difference we can develop. Change. Grow.
> We can learn from eachother. We learn that life isn't allways what we desire it to be. Learning to accept people as they are, even if they aren't like us with views and beliefs different from our own, is a way to learn to except all of life; as it is, even if it isn't at all what we desire it to be. 
> ...



dudes dropping truth bombs.   Said it much nicer than I could.

----------


## Mathemagician-Taliskuji

@tommo: well I didn't post because the answers in the thread answered my question I think. But apologies for forgetting to thank everyone for answering my thread. 

And I posted this thread because I searched the forum if such a thread existed (it didn't). Also, mainly, I wanted to know the consequences, not so much about whether it is wrong or ok to substitute a lucid dream gf for a RL gf. But of course I'm not gonna complain about the posts in this thread. I appreciate them. Yes, I admit my question sounds controversial. Sorry if I'm typing like Captain Obvious in this paragraph. Recently I got tempted to substitute. I didn't mean to troll in the thread.





> Dream Life cannot be a substitute for waking Life. *Nor can Waking life be a substitute for dreaming life.*



Is waking life not a substitute for dreaming life just because we cannot live without sleep/ shouldn't avoid using sleep time for creative dreams to solve problems etc or are there other reasons? I don't think I've seen someone say that bolded quote before.

----------


## lakeoffire

I don't see why some people seem so worried. To me, it seems a perfectly good idea, but maybe that's because I'm a weird isolated freak  :tongue2: 

Might do it eventually, but I'd probably miss being able to do whoever I want  :tongue2:

----------


## jarrhead

As long as he's not addicted, there is absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. If he is emotionally stable and feels no shame in this, go ahead.

I, for one, would feel no shame at all.

----------


## lakeoffire

> As long as he's not addicted, there is absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. If he is emotionally stable and feels no shame in this, go ahead.
> 
> I, for one, would feel no shame at all.



This pretty much. To be honest, pretty much anything is acceptable as long as it stays in your mind. And I don't see anything at all wrong with this in any way.

----------


## SKA

> This pretty much. To be honest, pretty much anything is acceptable as long as it stays in your mind. And I don't see anything at all wrong with this in any way.



Sure, because this isn't at all a matter of wrong and right. 

It's just that I don't think you can even remotely compair a lucid dream lover to a waking life lover. Like I said in my last post; A dreamt up girl, your own creation, would tend to be far too "perfect" according to your ideals.

A waking life girl has a character of her own. A free will. Is perfectly imperfect.
She wouldn't be as perfect and beautyfull as your dreamt up girlfriend. She wouldn't be as patient, intelligent, friendly, faithfull or nymphomaniacal as your dreamt up girlfriend.  ::lol:: 

That's a challenge. Quite a heck of a challenge.
To hook up and keep a relationship with such an "imperfect" girl. To stay together dispite jealousy, impatience, naivety, dominance, overweight or other possibly percieved downsides. All of waking life, even a large part of our dreaming life is imperfect; not as we desire. So learning to love and accept an imperfect girl is a good Lesson to learn loving and accepting Life as a whole.

Instead of substituting this imperfect girl, I say TAKE that challenge.
You can allways experiment with a dream relationship, but why should it be any reason to, with all due respect, chicken out on this Challenge?

Go take that challenge and try to get a little closer to that "imperfect" waking life girl you secretly adore. It may be hard. You may feel affraid of being turned down. You may get extremely nervous, but being turned down won't kill you believe me. It may suck, but having at least tried and knowing you never stood a chance is infinitely less fucked up than chickening out, freezing up and never knowing what chance you may have had. Believe you me.

Take that challenge, I tell you, because it is part of Life. Part of what it means to be Human. If the stress gets to you, or the frustration of the struggle is getting you down you can allways be comforted by your Dreamt up girlfriend.

If you could dream up a girlfriend, you might as well seek her comforting and have her encourage you to make a move on this waking life girl you like. :smiley:

----------


## FluBB

this topic has turned into people with gf's vs. people without gf's. 
that said, people should realize that some people havent been in a relationship, or have been in one, and dont wish to go back anytime soon regardless of the reasons. 
I think the thought of having a girl in your dreams you consistently call your girlfriend could be harmful to your waking life. anything that might make you dependent on dreams would be a bad idea. if someone took it too far i think it would lead to depression. of course thats an extreme case but possible none the less.
if its just for fun, then its just for fun obviously. but if its because you cant seem to find  a girlfriend and you are desperate, then who am i to say you shouldnt? there are some things that i bet you could change in your waking life to change that, but thats all a personal decision.

----------


## acidlife

Maybe having a dream gf will motivate you to really put some effort in getting a real gf!!!

----------


## tommo

So basically.
Yes, having a dream girlfriend is fine.  But you should also try to get a real life girlfriend too.  Or substitute boyfriend if you please.
That about sums it up right?

----------


## SKA

> So basically.
> Yes, having a dream girlfriend is fine. But you should also try to get a real life girlfriend too. Or substitute boyfriend if you please.
> That about sums it up right?



Yeah that´s pretty much what I mean.

----------


## tommo

Oh, I just meant the thread as a whole seems to have come to that conclusion lol  I know what you meant SKA hehe

----------


## Maria92

> So basically.
> Yes, having a dream girlfriend is fine.  But you should also try to get a real life girlfriend too.  Or substitute boyfriend if you please.
> That about sums it up right?



+1 Quietly protesting the 10 character limit.

----------


## Mathemagician-Taliskuji

oh mario92, btw, what is the origin of the "word" "+1"? I've seen that "word" occasionally in forums and would like to know how it started to be used or when it was first used if you know. Thanks.

I've also used that "word" before in forum posts.

----------


## tommo

The term would be 'meme'.  Meaning a trend on the internet.  The best place to look these things up is urban dictionary.

Basically it came from games where you get +1 XP etc.  I think that's it anyway.  The English equivalent is, "I agree with you, you are awesome and deserve respect"

----------


## Maria92

^Ayup, pretty much that.^ Quietly protesting the 10 character limit.

----------


## ♥Mark

Only if she finds out about it.

----------


## Leviatahon

> Only if she finds out about it.



Lmfao. But it's true don't let her find out.

----------


## M45t3r

> If you can deal with the fact that your dream lover is completely, 100% imaginary, then go for it.



I would even say, who the fuck cares ? It's his decision if he's going to have LD gf or not. And no, it won't have negative consequences. Well maybe if you are going to stab real gf, then you are fucked.

----------


## jarrhead

This is just like the "Parents think LDing is an occult" thread.

Dude, just don't tell anybody about it. It's in your head, not like anybody can find out. What's hard to understand about that?

----------


## Loaf

> I would even say, who the fuck cares ? It's his decision if he's going to have LD gf or not. And no, it won't have negative consequences. Well maybe if you are going to stab real gf, then you are fucked.



Frankly I think its just sad. Also, I'd be offended if my partner found it necessary to also make love to an imaginary character. Talk about squashing ones libido. 
However in your case... well, it doesn't seem healthy to be doing such a thing, or at least not for a long period of time. More.

----------


## jarrhead

I'd be quite offended too, but it's in his head, and no harm will be done if you can keep your mouth shut.

And notice he said "substituting" not "assisting"

He doesn't have a gf, and probably won't so it doesn't matter.

----------


## Loaf

Good luck losing your virginity.

----------


## Robot_Butler

What an interesting question.  I guess it is healthy, as long as you are honest with it, and know it is just being in love with yourself.  Sort of like a masturbatory romance.  Nothing wrong with self love, as long as you still keep yourself open to the real thing.  Nothing can totally replace real human interaction, or real relationships.

----------


## beachgirl

ummm...
i have really good/great sexual relationships in real life.
and...
i have dream lovers too. 

sometimes i do things with my dream lovers that i don't do with my real time lovers.

and, sometimes, afterwards, i think, wow, what was stopping me in real life? that was SO much fun!!! time to loosen up here, girl!!

we already know that in dreams we can drop a lot of the inhibitions. when i do this and it turns me on, well, i get inspired... it carries over into the rest of my life.

so overall i think this is very healthy. opens my imagination and winds up benefitting real life partners.

----------


## Maria92

Totally unrelated, but Loaf, when did you get a new website?  ::D:  I still log onto Boxhead once in a while...did that one go belly-up?  ::?: 

EDIT: Just for the sake of being on-topic...no, it's fine, as long as you don't get obsessive with your dream GF. Human to human interaction can be pleasant, too.  :wink2:  If you DO happen to pick up a real GF, you may wish to break it off with the dream GF to avoid issues with jealousy, etc...not to mention that at that point, your dream GF is more or less obsolete.  :smiley:  So yeah, have some fun in your dreams, but also go out into the real world and try to find a REAL girl...you'd be surprised how awesome they can be.  ::D: 

EDIT EDIT: Wow, I really went overboard with the emoticons...

EDIT EDIT EDIT: On a side note...who are any of us to tell this guy what he can and can't do in his own imagination?

----------


## StrangeDreamsGuy

It's not the same, try to have both if you can >.>

----------


## M45t3r

Feels almost like lucidology thread lol, guy shows how to lucid by his way and he gets trolled by dreamviews.

----------


## Purebred

Your mind would probably make ideal gf, so it woudn't be interesting. No arguing,stupid her wishes. You should just have Lucid Sex. That's all. ^^

----------


## Mathemagician-Taliskuji

> Feels almost like lucidology thread lol, *guy shows how to lucid by his way and he gets trolled by dreamviews.*



I "showed how to lucid by my way"??? How does that make sense? I didn't do that in my first post in this thread.

----------


## Darkmatters

No, that's what happened in the Lucidology thread. The similarity would be, you came in and asked a perfectly legit and honest question and pretty much people jumped all over you.

----------


## Mathemagician-Taliskuji

> No, that's what happened in the Lucidology thread. The similarity would be, you came in and asked a perfectly legit and honest question and pretty much people jumped all over you.



Oh, my apologies to M45t3r then.

----------


## M45t3r

> No, that's what happened in the Lucidology thread. The similarity would be, you came in and asked a perfectly legit and honest question and pretty much people jumped all over you.








> Oh, my apologies to M45t3r then.



No problem  :smiley:

----------


## IndigoGhost

No way im letting a women take up my Lucid time, Real life Girlfriends are bad enough. "Lets go shopping!!! *^-^*"  NO!  :SleepMeditate2:

----------


## rose_red

I cringed as soon as I read the title of this topic, because as long as I've been here every thread along these lines has gone the exact same way.  At least this time there are a few members around that have some other viewpoints and it isn't exactly like the first of these I've seen.

Now, as to the issue at hand, I don't think that it would have any serious reprocussions any more than all the people who use lucid dreams to go around killing [humans/zombies/whatever] or those who use lucid dreams as an outlet for nympho urges.  I think that if you want to persue a dream relationship you should definitely go for it,  It is a good experience to have had.  To any of you guys who feel differently, I'm open to reasons why you feel this way.  Also, to be fair, I do think that if you are getting a DGF because you've been burned by a real woman and are hoping that it will provide a good escape, that _could_ be comparable to someone using drugs as an escape and thus wouldn't necessarily be healthy.  Consult your heart and find out what is best for you.

Personally, I don't have the desire (and never have had much social drive since I was very young) to be in a romantic relationship and probably never will.  I'm already out of my teens and past the age all of my offline friends assured me I would go crazy over girls without any change.  It doesn't hurt me one bit to live my life the way I do, and I can't imagine getting a DGF would in any way change that.

To those on the tune of "your DGF would be too perfect": Am I the only one who is confused by the concept that discord is a good thing?  Why would settling for someone who would get on your nerves be positive?  I wouldn't really _want_ my love life to be a challenge.  Heartache for the sake of making you appreciate what you have is great for those who don't appreciate what they have, don't get me wrong, but what about the rest of us?

All the Best,
rR

----------


## Dannon Oneironaut

Sorry, but I can't help but say "get off the computer, get some exercise, take some risks, forget about girls or love hurting and be a man. There are plenty of real human girls willing to have sex outside of a relationship, if you don't want a relationship.
   Sure, have some wet dreams, but it will be boring because you won't grow. And that is the point of life is to confront your fears and grow up and realize your potential.  If you are a wimpy nerd sitting behind a computer who can't get laid then do something about it. 
   Escaping reality is just postponing the inevitable, because sooner or later you will have to face reality because that is all there is. Use your dreams to heal your soul and your heart so that you can get laid in real life.

----------


## Maria92

> To those on the tune of "your DGF would be too perfect": Am I the only one who is confused by the concept that discord is a good thing? Why would settling for someone who would get on your nerves be positive? I wouldn't really want my love life to be a challenge. Heartache for the sake of making you appreciate what you have is great for those who don't appreciate what they have, don't get me wrong, but what about the rest of us?



Variety is the spice of life. You should have someone who cares about you, but you should also have someone with an actual _personality;_ someone capable of throwing the odd curveball your way. Otherwise, it's just...sex, and you don't need a DGF to have dream sex...I have nothing against people who go out and pursue DGF's, but it seems sort of like a waste of a lucid to me.  ::?:  I'd rather spend my lucids doing cool things, like sky diving or drag racing down the Great Wall of China, or breathing underwater or destroying the Earth. I'm just saying...why go on a date night after night when you can destroy the planet, rebuild it, and destroy it again? Why settle for a fancy dinner out again and again when you could fly at twice the speed of light? 

Bah, whatever. To each his own.

----------


## rose_red

> I have nothing against people who go out and pursue DGF's, but it seems sort of like a waste of a lucid to me.  I'd rather spend my lucids doing cool things, like sky diving or drag racing down the Great Wall of China, or breathing underwater or destroying the Earth. I'm just saying...why go on a date night after night when you can destroy the planet, rebuild it, and destroy it again? Why settle for a fancy dinner out again and again when you could fly at twice the speed of light? 
> 
> Bah, whatever. To each his own.



Oh, so very much agreed.  Too much to me like wasting your time letting them take you shopping.  Who wants to do that? Lucid Liberation ftw.  :wink2:

----------


## jarrhead

> Variety is the spice of life. You should have someone who cares about you, but you should also have someone with an actual _personality;_ someone capable of throwing the odd curveball your way. Otherwise, it's just...sex, and you don't need a DGF to have dream sex...I have nothing against people who go out and pursue DGF's, but it seems sort of like a waste of a lucid to me.  I'd rather spend my lucids doing cool things, like sky diving or drag racing down the Great Wall of China, or breathing underwater or destroying the Earth. I'm just saying...why go on a date night after night when you can destroy the planet, rebuild it, and destroy it again? Why settle for a fancy dinner out again and again when you could fly at twice the speed of light? 
> 
> Bah, whatever. To each his own.




Do all those things WITH your DGF.  Blow up the earth with her, take her skydiving, have sex while skydiving, go drag racing down the great wall with her.

If you have any of an imagination, she won't be YOU, that's why she'll have a personality.  Often in my dreams i'm stuck with a chick who is my girlfriend by default, not my choice.  She ends up having the personality I like. It's not "just sex"  we have lots of fun outside that. Rarely do I have lucid sex.  most sex is non-lucid

----------


## kingofhypocrites

> I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF.  Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass?  With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order.  But you can't avoid sleeping!  And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you.  And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.



Hilarious, I like it.

----------


## Motumz

> Your mind would probably make ideal gf, so it woudn't be interesting. No arguing,stupid her wishes. You should just have Lucid Sex. That's all. ^^



 ::thumbup::   ::thumbup::

----------


## AngelZlayer

I'm curious: Do you guys think that those who have or want to have a dream partner instead of a real one are pathetic losers? Why? Because they aren't real? Nothing in a lucid dream is real, so why have them to begin with?

Has it ever occured to you that some of these people, including myself, might have social phobia, asperger syndrome or similiar?
If I used the n-word on a black person you would be all over me with what an intolerant jerk I am, but as soon as it's something you are unfamiliar with, something you don't understand, then it's ok to make fun of it all of a sudden.

If you saw a little kid who was shy and didn't dare to play with the other kids, I doubt that you would call him a loser, but older people with the same kind of problem are appearently ok to spit in the face.

Why do you want to have a partner? Because of the feeling you get from it. You can get that feeling in a lucid dream, so that's what we do (or want to do), while you are running around looking for potential partners, going through failure after failure.
You are intolerant, and you make things harder for yourselves because of that intolerance. As far as I'm concerned, *you* are the sad pathetic losers.


*Spoiler* for _P.S_: 



No offence to anyone  :Cheeky:

----------


## Maria92

Chill, panicky guy. Look, I'm like you: I don't like social interaction. But, by the same token, I'm physically attracted to women and I'm not going to let some irrational phobia stand in my way. Now, if you have social problems, issues, or fears, and you want to avoid them instead of facing them and growing as a person, that's fine. Good on ya. Have fun with that. But I'm gonna take risks. If I get shot down, that's fine. Get back up and try again. If a relationship ends in a breakup, it wasn't a total failure. You learn from that. There was a reason you broke up, and you can either identify the reason and attempt to use it to better yourself, or learn to recognize that reason in others so you don't make the same mistake twice. 

Now, people with Asberger's Syndrome clearly have it harder, as do people with phobias. But there are options available. Phobias can be conquered, and people learn how to work around their limitations. We are an amazingly adaptive species. Now, again, if a person wants to conjure up an imaginary friend to live with for half an hour every night, that's fine. But, I myself would rather have a real, tangible girlfriend who acts on her own accord, rather than how my imagination tells her to act. I prefer the trials and tribulations of relationships, rather than a perfectly flawless relationship. I learn, she learns, and we're better human beings because of it. 

I don't think anything less of people who go with the imaginary partner route, and they clearly aren't hurting anyone, present or future. I think it's a mistake...much the way people who cling unquestioningly to their religion is a mistake, but I tolerate both groups just fine. It's your choice, mistake or no, and you alone have to deal with the consequences. If it makes you feel fantastic to have a dream GF, then great. Bully for you. You're not bothering me, and I don't care. Hell, it's less competition, so thanks!

You were wondering about why to have lucid dreams if nothing is real. My answer: because there are no consequences for your actions within said dreams. They're fun. I capitalize on the fact that nothing is real. I will go snipe seventeen people and launch myself around with the portal gun. When I wake up, there won't be a squad of police cars at my door. A real girlfriend, by contrast, sticks around. What you do has consequences, for better or worse. Long-term consequences, I may add, rather than just whatever your imagination can cook up before you wake up. If you bake your real GF a cake, that will make her feel great, and should make you feel great back. When you do it in a dream, unless you're severely diluted, it will always be less sweet. A part of you knows you aren't making anyone else happy, and you likely didn't go through the actual motions of making a cake. Now, if you DO somehow derive the same amount of pleasure from the dream encounter as you would a real life encounter, then great. If you can wake up and feel like you're actually improving someone's life, that's fine. Good for you. Best of luck to you and your imagination. 

In short: if you want a dream girlfriend, good for you. I think it's a mistake, but I don't think anything less of you. I would encourage you to more fully explore the options available to you so that you may live a richer, fuller existence, but that's about it. And if it seems like I'm making fun of you, it's because this topic is damn funny. I respect your lifestyle choices, don't get me wrong. But you must see how utterly absurd this whole thing is in at least some aspects. You've got to be able to laugh at yourself.

----------


## SupaCoopa

Well what if you ahd a dream girlfriend and you went up break up with her and she didnt want to and basically became Freddy cougar in your dreams. And basically haunted you forever? Scary thought lol. In short a dream GF sounds bad, very bad. Plus your gf would essentially be an imaginary friend.

----------


## Man of Shred

Well i do have a dream girlfriend. She is not A figment of my imagination. She is very real, I have even sent her into other people's dreams.

 I have known her over six months and I've never had a single lucid tender moment with her yet, for some reason... it seems to be difficult. It's all masturbatory fun and games for me right? WRONG. We've had fights, Drama, and growth all the same. In fact, most of my waking life girlfriends were short lived due to some of my personal problems. with my dream GF, since there is no finality in our relationship, has actually been helping me point out much of my patterns of self sabotage when it comes to love. And I have actually been dealing with those issues for her. It has been a  very interesting experience for me.

 so go ahead and laugh if you like. She IS real. She is helping me be more prepared for a love life in the waking world as well. These are my dreams, don't interpret them for me. I am the only one qualified to use my dreams in this manner for me.

----------


## r2d2651

> eh no, what's the problem with all of you?!
> a fake girlfriend CAN'T replace a real girlfriend! never! we are talking about a human here! we are talking about life!




For some reason, the way you speak here reminds me of Edward Elric.. But.. Yeah just don't try and have sex w/ her. Use you hand IRL for that (: NAH! just kidding. IMRO (In My Real Opinion) do whatever you want. Just don't go introducing her to your mom...  :smiley:

----------


## AngelZlayer

> ...



Besides my asperger/social phobia, my problem is that I most of the time don't feel the need to have a relationship, so I don't get enough strengh/will to go out and meet people once I feel that need. I'm fighting two sides at the same time.
From time to time I want to be near someone, and when I see a happy couple I get jealous of them. If you have the wish for a parnter for a long time, then that desire can grow itself bigger than your fear, but like I said, I mostly don't feel this need, so when I do, I don't do anything about it.
I could meet people through friends, but I only have internet friends, I don't know anyone who lives close enough. Going out and start talking to people alone seems almost impossible to me.

----------


## AngelZlayer

> ...



Gutts, I know you said you won't respond, but I just want to say: I'm sorry if I seemed rude, it wasn't my intention. I can easily get hateful when I'm sober.
I wasn't trying to compare myself with Ronaldo or Da Vinci, I just meant that in the same way as they would feel uncomfortable about quiting soccer or painting, I would feel uncomfortable about going out and start meeting new people.

Here's a better analogy: Image that there was something you really wanted in life, but the only way to get it was to live in solitude, to stop seeing your loved ones.

Read my answer to Mario92.

----------

