# Sleep and Dreams > General Dream Discussion > Nightmares and Recurring Dreams >  >  I've Been Dreaming About Him For 5 Years

## brokedownheart

Alright fellow dreamers, let me tell you my story...

I've been dreaming about the same person for the last 5 years. His name is Seth, and he's an ex boyfriend of mine. We didn't have a long or particularly passionate relationship, mostly because he had hardcore christian parents who did not approve of me and did not let us spend much time together. Their dislike of me eventually ended the relationship after about 5 months. 

The dreams started very shortly after the break-up, and have continued ever since. I can literally count on one hand the number of dreams I have had that he was not present in over the last 5 years. I have gotten married, had kids, and completely moved on with my life. I'm not still in love with him, nor do I even think about him in my waking life, but for some unknown reason he is still in all of my dreams. Lately they have taken a disturbing turn. For the last few weeks I've been dreaming that he is dying in some way, and I try to save him but always fail, and I wake up crying and extremely upset.

So, do any of you lovely people have any insight as to why I've been dreaming of this guy for so long, or why he's suddenly dying now in all of them? Have any of you ever dreamed about one person continuously for years? Is any of this normal, or am I just cracked?  ::?:

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## TwoCrystalCups

What else have you dreamt about him in past 5 years? Death or dying means a knew start for your life, but for you to cry it means your subconciousness isn't over him yet. You say your not in love with him but somehow you can never forget. That what your dreams is telling you.




> Alright fellow dreamers, let me tell you my story...
> 
> I've been dreaming about the same person for the last 5 years. His name is Seth, and he's an ex boyfriend of mine. We didn't have a long or particularly passionate relationship, mostly because he had hardcore christian parents who did not approve of me and did not let us spend much time together. Their dislike of me eventually ended the relationship after about 5 months. 
> 
> The dreams started very shortly after the break-up, and have continued ever since. I can literally count on one hand the number of dreams I have had that he was not present in over the last 5 years. I have gotten married, had kids, and completely moved on with my life. I'm not still in love with him, nor do I even think about him in my waking life, but for some unknown reason he is still in all of my dreams. Lately they have taken a disturbing turn. For the last few weeks I've been dreaming that he is dying in some way, and I try to save him but always fail, and I wake up crying and extremely upset.
> 
> So, do any of you lovely people have any insight as to why I've been dreaming of this guy for so long, or why he's suddenly dying now in all of them? Have any of you ever dreamed about one person continuously for years? Is any of this normal, or am I just cracked?

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## TwoCrystalCups

And no your not cracked, i have been having recurring dreams of my lost love for over 7 years, only because we both have a telepathic connection which never died since we last saw each other, which was 14yrs ago. almost 15yrs very soon.

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## kurlie

Have you thought of using lucidity to confront/save him and question him? Ask him why he is always in your dream or why he is dying. You could be surprised by what he says. If you don't know how to have lucid dreams, you've come to the right place

Sounds like you already have a good dream sign

Good luck

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## brokedownheart

> What else have you dreamt about him in past 5 years? Death or dying means a knew start for your life, but for you to cry it means your subconciousness isn't over him yet. You say your not in love with him but somehow you can never forget. That what your dreams is telling you.
> 
> And no your not cracked, i have been having recurring dreams of my lost love for over 7 years, only because we both have a telepathic connection which never died since we last saw each other, which was 14yrs ago. almost 15yrs very soon.



Most often my dreams are focused around the short time we were together, but instead of breaking up we stay together. Sometimes they're about me leaving my husband and running away with him. Other times he's just there with me, doing random things. It's frustrating for me, because I honestly feel like I am over him. It's been a long time and I'm very happy with my husband, but my subconcious will not let him go. I often find myself wondering if it's something like you mentioned, a sort of connection with him that just never died. I always felt some strange tether to him, something that connected us on a spiritual level, though I have never been able to fully understand it. 





> Have you thought of using lucidity to confront/save him and question him? Ask him why he is always in your dream or why he is dying. You could be surprised by what he says. If you don't know how to have lucid dreams, you've come to the right place
> 
> Sounds like you already have a good dream sign
> 
> Good luck



I have thought of that, which is what brought me to this site. I am hoping I can use lucid dreaming to ask him why he is always there, and hopefully ask him to go away for good. I'm excited to start trying.  :smiley:  Thank you for the encouragement.

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## kurlie

> It's frustrating for me, because I honestly feel like I am over him. It's been a long time and I'm very happy with my husband, but my subconcious will not let him go. I often find myself wondering if it's something like you mentioned, a sort of connection with him that just never died. I always felt some strange tether to him, something that connected us on a spiritual level, though I have never been able to fully understand it.



Maybe he isn't over you?

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## Ctharlhie

Maybe he may be a symbol of the archetypal male in your unconscious. The dreams may not be about him but he appears as a symbol for masculinity being your first (?) relationship.

Anima and animus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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## TwoCrystalCups

That too. Was about to say it before but didn't write it down.




> Maybe he isn't over you?

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## melanieb

So, curious question...do you know where he is in real life? 

Is it possible you can find him/contact him?

Perhaps if lucid dreaming fails, or in conjunction with it, you could just find out if he's okay in life.

If anything, it might help you find a type of closure you never thought you needed.

I do hope the lucid dreaming techniques help!

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## brokedownheart

> Maybe he isn't over you?



I never actually considered this. It's a very interesting thought.

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## brokedownheart

> Maybe he may be a symbol of the archetypal male in your unconscious. The dreams may not be about him but he appears as a symbol for masculinity being your first (?) relationship.



That was really interesting to read about. I can see how he could be just a symbol in my dreams. Thank you for your thoughts. =)






> So, curious question...do you know where he is in real life? 
> 
> Is it possible you can find him/contact him?
> 
> Perhaps if lucid dreaming fails, or in conjunction with it, you could just find out if he's okay in life.
> 
> If anything, it might help you find a type of closure you never thought you needed.
> 
> I do hope the lucid dreaming techniques help!



 I do know where he is, and I'm actually going to be seeing him next month for the first time since we broke up (his sister is marrying my cousin and I am going to the wedding, so incredibly weird...). It's going to be really strange seeing him after all this time, especially considering I've been dreaming of him for 5 years straight. Maybe you're right, and I just need some closure. Maybe I just need to see with my own eyes that he's okay and happy and moved on with his life. I really hope so.

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## TwoCrystalCups

Do tell us how it went, after the wedding.  :smiley: 




> That was really interesting to read about. I can see how he could be just a symbol in my dreams. Thank you for your thoughts. =)
> 
> 
> 
>  I do know where he is, and I'm actually going to be seeing him next month for the first time since we broke up (his sister is marrying my cousin and I am going to the wedding, so incredibly weird...). It's going to be really strange seeing him after all this time, especially considering I've been dreaming of him for 5 years straight. Maybe you're right, and I just need some closure. Maybe I just need to see with my own eyes that he's okay and happy and moved on with his life. I really hope so.

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## Chimpertainment

I would say this is a representation of your Animus. Its worth doing some research about, and this fits the bill quite nicely. 

Your heart longs to be reconciled with the "ideal male" whose identity usually is someone you would know. His death may indicate further separation from or beginning of resolution with the animus. This is a process, so take it slow.  :smiley:

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## splice

I too have an ex-girlfriend who shows up in my dreams often, even though I never think of her in the waking life. Not all the dreams are sad, but some are, and I find sad dreams one of the worst. Waking up feeling like all hope has abandoned you. I hope I too get to have a LD and tell my exgirlfriend to drift to some other dream and stay out of mine. Life is complicated enough without being tormented while you sleep.  Good luck brokedownheart, and hopefully you can fix your dreams and make them worth dreaming about.

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