# Off-Topic Discussion > The Lounge > Ask/Tell Me About >  >  Turn on's/turn off's in a guy/girl

## Jules2007

There might already be a thread on this, in which case I apologise, but I did a search and it didn't come up with anything.

O.k, so tell me what you look for and what you don't look for in a guy or girl, this could be personality and/or looks. 

Here's mine-

I'm a girl, and I'm straight, so...

*Turn On's*
1) Cute Guys (Guy's that are just adorable and you can take them home to your parents and they'll love them)

2) Funny Guys (Who can just crack you up all the time and you never run out of things to talk about and there's no awkwardness because you don't know what to say to each other)

I really can't think of anymore turn-on's right now. I have quite a few turn-off's, but basically I'll find any guy attractive who is sweet, kind, funny and down to earth. Any hair colour, any height (well ok I'd prefer them to be taller than me- 5'8) Any weight, except for really really skinny.

*Turn Off's*

1) Bad Boys (big turn off, I know loads of girls like bad boys and most guys think we like bad boys, but with me you ain't gonna get anywhere if you are a bad boy. What is the point? It's obvious you're gonna get screwed around with them, I've learnt from my best friend who has a thing for bad boys not to go for them. Plus, I'm just not attracted to them.)

2) Really Muscly guys (Don't like it, some muscles are ok, but if he's in the gym everyday getting huge muscles, well I'm just not attracted to that.)

3) Really skinny guys (Don't know why, I just like something to grab hold of I guess lol)

4) Arrogance (I like down to earth sweet guys and I hate arrogance. Confidence is fine, but not when he thinks he's all that.)

5) Too good-looking (Yeh I know it's a weird turn-off. I like "normal guys" who can win you over with humour and cuteness, not a Brad Pitt lookalike. I don't want a model for a boyfriend, they seem to not have much personality. This doesn't go for all really good-looking guys, but most I have found. Also with the muscles thing, I don't like 6-packs, that might sound weird, but I like cuddly guys lol.

O.k so that's me, I hope I haven't come across as too shallow or anything! This is just what I find attractive and don't find attractive, it doesn't mean that I won't go for someone who is muscly or a bad boy in the future, I might change, but for the time being, this is my list.

Now you go

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## DancenSweetie8

well i'm a girl and i'm straight too, so this is what i like and dislike about guys.... 

turn ons.... :smiley: 
hmm where to start.  
nice strong hands!, good teeth, dark hair, confidence, tall, sometimes i like chubby boys.  easy to talk to, funny

turn offs.... :Mad: 
annoying, lazy, basically the opposite of what i said in my turn ons, loud breathing!, ugly backs

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## badassbob

-I don't like it when girls are too shy. I like those really friendly bubbly girls who talk to everyone and are up for a laugh. I'm kind of introverted, so the only girls I really talk to (sober:p) are the ones who talk to me first.

-I prefer brunettes.

-I'm not into skinny girls, but I'm not into fat girls either.

-I think a pretty face is a lot more important than a perfect body.

Really I'm generally not too fussy so that's all I've got for now. As long as a girl is friendly, outgoing and not up her own arse thinking everyone wants her and she's too good for anyone, she's good enough for me. I find from personal experience that girls who go out of their way to look absoloutely stunning are just bitches (it's a generalisation I know, but that's what I've noticed).

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## Indecent Exposure

hmm I like quitely confident girls
Girls that will chat forever without creating awkward silences 
Girls that have enough knowledge not to be boring. So basically someone whose intelligent as well as attractive.

I dont like girls that get ridculously drunk and subsequently loud.
I most certainly dont like immature girls
And alstly girls that are academcially bright but have no knoeldge in any toher subject.
The kind of girl who will ask you if Britain is in England or the other way round.



Oh yeah I dont mind if theyve got a cute arse =p

Imran

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## Riff

Turn on:
(girls)
-HOT
-Tall, not taller then me though
-Blonde


Turn offs:
-MIDGET SHORT
-Too big boobs haha
-manly voices.

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## Seeker

Turn on's:

Maturity
Intelligence
Friendliness
Affectionate
Openness

Turn off's:
Gossiper
Game-player
Backstabber
User

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## NeAvO

Turn on:

Easy to talk to, be able to just have any conversation about anything
Funny
Cute smile
Smaller then me
Reliable
Confident
Up for a laugh

Turn off:

Overly confident
Think she's God gift to the world
Too quiet
Bitch about people

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## Jules2007

Great to see so many responses! 

I thought of a few more-

*Turn On's*
Blue Eyes

*Turn Off's*
Very Hairy chest (and/or hairy back!)
Shaved head
Not very clever
Spends more time in front of the mirror than me
(It's so much easier to define the things I don't like!)

Keep em comin!

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## Vex Kitten

Turn Ons

A great laugh
A decent sense of humour
Sweet
Cuteness, I'm attracted to the cuddly kind, the kind that makes me want to bite him all over. 


Turn offs

Egotisical
Whore-ish
Loud
Hairy

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## Burns

Turn OnsTallBlondeBlue eyesSmiles and laughs a lotGenuine/sincereEducatedGood sense of humorSmells goodLoves catsMature yet funFit body, healthyEasy to talk to

Turn offsSmokerCrude/swears a lotRacist/sexistArrogantJudges everyone/bad-mouths everyoneSlobbyHuge musclesDoesn't like animalsShort temper

There's prolly a bunch more but I can't think of them.

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## CoLd BlooDed

Turn ons
Girls that talk as much as meGirls that laugh at my jokesGirls that can make ME laughNice bumsIntelligent yet attractive girls

Turn offs
Girls who purposefully mess with your headFake girlsGirls who judgeGirls who are at fault for their obesity but don't know whySnobby girlsGirls who don't laugh at my jokesNot a nice bum

Haha, very basic.  :p

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## xcrissxcrossx

I like someone who I can just talk to and have a decent conversation. I barely have any friends so when i find a girl who i can talk too then they are already somewhat special.
Turn offs are basicly girly girls and Those girls who care too much about how they look and care too much about how other people look.

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## BiVixen

Turn ons (girls):
Curvy
Freckles
Bubbly
Humorous
Pretty eyes
Dainty hands/feet
Full lips
Contagious laugh
Intelligent
Curious
Bookworm
Short-ish

Turn offs (girls):
Tall
Real thin
Self centered
Dim witted
Fashion obsessed
Typical beauty (perfect body, blonde hair, blue eyed type)
Unromantic


Turns ons(guys):
Average height
Dark eyes
Freckles
Intelligent
Humorous
Adventurous
Strong hands
Broad shoulders
Curly hair
Great laugh
Has a lot to say

Turn offs(guys):
Really tall
Scrawny
Overly nerdy
"Bad boys"
Arrogant
Dimwitted
Bad teeth
Sex-obsessed

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## trigotron

My response: in response to the first two posts, i seem to fit the bill on all of those qualities yet for some strange reason i have yet to find a girl that will give me the time of day.  Perhaps it has something to do with the statement about "not too handsome" being more of a theory and less of a practice, same with the "chubby" statement.  





> Turn on's:
> Maturity
> Intelligence
> Friendliness
> Affectionate
> Openness
> 
> Turn off's:
> Gossiper
> ...



Oh come on man, i know you're the admin and all but seriously, no guy ever is hot for a girl's "openness" or "maturity"... or really any of those emotional things... perhaps it's another one of those theory vs practice things.  Yes, all those attributes are very nice to see in a girl, but let's face it, guys want hot chicks, emotional stuff comes second.  :p

The big thing about this seems to center on theory vs practice.  Yes, in theory all of this is nice, but in practice it's all much more complicated and while it's easy to say "yeah i'd take the funny guy over the smoking hot muscular one" on paper, in real life i think the situation would go a different direction, or at least there would be some serious consideration going on.  

"The difference between theory and practice, in theory, is much less than the difference between theory and practice, in practice."
However, i believe Dr. Gregory House said it best:
"Sevens marry sevens, nines marry nines, fours marry fours. Maybe there’s some wiggle room if there’s enough money or if somebody got pregnant. But you’ve got at least three points on your husband and your frock says he didn’t do it for the money."

Meaning, say what you want on paper, but if you're not good looking, you probably shouldn't get your hopes up for getting with someone who is good looking, genetics suck, life isn't fair, but society is based on classes, and that's inescapable.

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## Man of Steel

I'm rather surprised I fit so many of the turn-ons, and so few (exactly one) of the turn-offs. Quite frankly, I'm amazed. But this thread isn't about that.

*Turn-ons:*
A cute face. Gorgeous is one better, and beautiful would be awesome, but not necessary.A slim, lithe, fit body overall.A flat stomach is a major turn-on for me.A great smile.An outgoing personality.A giving personality.Girls that aren't afraid to speak their mind.Girls that like the outdoors and knives - as tools.Girls that aren't afraid to get their hands dirty.Girls that dress down (think jeans, T-shirt, sweatshirt, just a girl that doesn't mind dressing plainly).Intelligence.A girl that likes to read as much as I do.A girl that'll tease a little.Must like pets. (more specifically, love me, love my dog. And my cat. She's been with me longer than the girl)And, lastly (until I can think of more, that is) but definitely not least, a smallish, tight, firm arse.

*Turn-offs:*
Manipulative girls.Bitchy girls.Spoiled rotten/Daddy's/Mommy's girls.Snobbish girls.Overly large breasts.Girls that smoke.Girls that are afraid of guns/knives. (though I can teach them otherwise if I have to)Girls that are afraid to get their hands dirty.Overweight girls.Dislike of pets.


I may seem picky at first glance, but not really. I just appreciate the good qualities in a girl, and since I'm more of an outdoorsy type, I like girls to appreciate that.

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## Jules2007

> My response: in response to the first two posts, i seem to fit the bill on all of those qualities yet for some strange reason i have yet to find a girl that will give me the time of day. Perhaps it has something to do with the statement about "not too handsome" being more of a theory and less of a practice, same with the "chubby" statement. 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh come on man, i know you're the admin and all but seriously, no guy ever is hot for a girl's "openness" or "maturity"... or really any of those emotional things... perhaps it's another one of those theory vs practice things. Yes, all those attributes are very nice to see in a girl, but let's face it, guys want hot chicks, emotional stuff comes second. :p
> 
> The big thing about this seems to center on theory vs practice. Yes, in theory all of this is nice, but in practice it's all much more complicated and while it's easy to say "yeah i'd take the funny guy over the smoking hot muscular one" on paper, in real life i think the situation would go a different direction, or at least there would be some serious consideration going on. 
> 
> "The difference between theory and practice, in theory, is much less than the difference between theory and practice, in practice."
> ...



Yeh. I know where you're coming from, but I have to say I would rather take the funny guy over the smoking hot muscular one. If I went out with the smoking hot one (If I could get a guy that hot!) It'd only be so I'd look good with a really hot guy and everyone would be jealous, but I really don't think I'd do that seeing it's pretty shallow and I'd just be using the guy. I really don't find that chisseled featured, rock-hard abs thing a turn on, I much prefer sweet down to earth guys. 

It takes me ages to decide I like someone anyway, so I probably wouldn't like either guy on first glance until I'd got to know them because it's the personality that makes the looks for me. Yeh maybe on first glance I might look at a really hot guy and think he's gorgeous, but without a good personality I wouldn't wanna go out with him.

Trigotron, if you fit the bill with us, maybe you're just not approaching the right sort of girls who find the qualities you have attractive? I agree that a lot of girls will go for looks the same as a lot of guys will, but we're not all like that.

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## dodobird

Turn ons:
Cross eyed ( yea I know thats a weird one )
weird
humble
a little silly
child-like
bad girl ( not evil, just likes to break laws and norms )
glasses
patches of color in the hair
love animals

Turn offs:
talks about hot men
too sterile
too realistic and pessimistic ( don't believe in wild ideas )
jealous, dominant - want to hold you in a cage

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## CryoDragoon

Watch out people, I was bored and decided to post my own little wish-list... And it's HUUUUUUUGE...



TURN ONS:

  - Girls who LIKE ME What could be a better turn on?
  - It may sound strange but I like girls who are peculiar in some way or another, who has some strange quirks (like laughing about absolutely ANYTHING, or having a very weird kind of humor (I call it wtf-humor, the kind of humor you go what the f*ck at))
  - Pretty eyes (I, personally like amber eyes (very light brown, and when the sun shines onto them, they appear almost gold) or the eye color that a girl I met on a holiday a year ago had: It was light blueish with a greenish colour in the middle.. so she had two different eye colours in both her eyes I believe thats called Heterochromia, but I could be wrong, though)
  - VERY talkative (or people who you can easily talk with), laughativeness (yeah I made that up), and having a contagious laugh I love that as I, myself, am way to shy to talk to people I dont really know So I only talk to the people I can easily talk with, or who talk to me The pro-side of talkative people is that I, myself, never have to think about what to say next, as there are no awkward silences And because I suck at small-talk. I also find it very hard to laugh when I dont mean it or when it is only remotely funny Therefore, a contagious laugh helps a lot But they also need to know when to STOP talking
  - Curvy A nice figure, a slim (but not like bony) body
  - Cuteness I like girls at who you can go awwww at times, and where you spontaneously wanna grab them and take them home like a puppy
  - smaller than me, or the same size, but preferably not larger I, as a guy, would cringe at the thought of standing on the toes when engaging in a certain intimate action

  TURN OFFS:

  - Girls with an ego to uphold: I know two girl whore pretty cute and nice, and who I can talk to easily, but unfortunately, thats only when were alone Cause when theyre with other people she knows (or even when the two are just together), they have this ego to uphold, who, quite frankly, arent afraid to stab at me with some nasty comment It has only happened once, for that part, (luckily), but still: I was turned off pretty nasty
  - Fat girls... A little bit of food reserves is fine, but whether theyre nice, talkative, laughative, etc. or not: When theyre fat I just cant help but be turned off by it all
  - An arrogant, annoying, immature personality
  - I dont like HUGE boobs Small is fine
  - A gossiper, dishonest, user or backstabber-type
  - Those who have to comment on EVERYONE This ones my sister I hate it when she does that, she sees EVERYTHING, and instead of keeping quiet, she just has to say that she has ugly pink shoes, or that those two people are gay or stuff like that, it pisses me off I had this girl lately I liked, and she said just one particular thing about someone else, and it was a huge turn off (at the time) luckily that was the only time in 4 years shes done that so it wasnt such a big of a turn-off but still I could help but to be disappointed somehow


  PS Oh! And as strange as it sounds: I like when they speak in another language that I DONT know
  I had this girl once, during our school trip in England, who I had borrowed my phone to (hers was empty) and was speaking Chinese to her parents (I guess as I didnt know the language) And I just felt this glow down in my stomach, as if I were in love Which was really weird, trust me...
  I guess I love languages
  (has anyone else EVER experienced this It was really strange)

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## Pyrofan1

turn ons
Blond girlsboobshealthy weight, i.e. not too fat or slimnice smilesmarta little junk in the trunkcute

turn offs
too fat or too skinnytoo needyneat freak

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## Mes Tarrant

This is fun.

*Turn on (for guys)*

nice face
taller than me
educated
mature
sometimes shy
someone who's not a goddamn ass :p

*Turn off*

smoking
bad boy
big muscles
frat guy
immaturity
someone who assumes what I like rather than ask

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## 27

I like girls who are open, freindly and smile alot.

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## Beef Jerky

*Turn On's:*

Brown/black hair

Cute, not hot. Example:

BAD:
http://www.thefunnybox.com/wp-conten...#37;20Babe.jpg

GOOD:
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f2...2770707358.jpg

ALSO GOOD:
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/200...LT_468x625.jpg (_Yes, all four._)

(don't worry, no nudity  :tongue2: )

Funny

Smart


*Turn Off's*

Unnaturally large breasts

Feet

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## trigotron

> *Turn On's:*
> Brown/black hair
> Cute, not hot. Example:
> BAD:
> http://www.thefunnybox.com/wp-conten..._Hi%20Babe.jpg
> GOOD:
> http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f2...2770707358.jpg
> ALSO GOOD:
> http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/200...LT_468x625.jpg (_Yes, all four._)



haha harry potter!  I just saw that movie yesterday, i actually didn't think hermione was as hot as a lot of my friends were talking about (of course all my friends i went with were total harry potter nerds :p ).  Personally i could go for either "cute" or "hot", all depends on the personality.  I guess since i didn't list my turnons/turnoffs in the previous post i made i'll do it here.

Turn ons:
everything cryodragon listed except i prefer brunettes  ::D:  but all the rest of the stuff he listed is spot on.

Turn offs:
-Annoying
-Prude (hopefully this trait will go away when i go to college, and girls are more mature)
-umm... jewish :p
-does a lot of drugs
-manipulative girls (although i should just group this with jewish :p )
-girls that think they can change men (to an extent, if she's hot, this isn't as bad)
-girls that are a lot smarter than me
-fat chicks probably

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## skysaw

Biggest turn-on: A great smile

Biggest turn-off: Lack of brain

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## Amethyst Star

Turns-ons:
-initiative
-a clean sense of humor (not crude or insulting)
-clean
-taller than I am
-someone around whom I can feel comfortable, even if we're not talking
-someone who is kind towards others
-mature, but still has a youthful nature
-MANNERS!

Turn-offs:
-guys who smell bad... seriously.
-smokers (which goes along with the above)
-gossips
-guys who think they are God's gift to the world
-constant complaining (a "woe is me" mentality)
-swearing
-crude/lewd conversations/jokes

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## Mes Tarrant

Okay more:

*turn ons:*

a sense of direction
able to take care of himself financially and mentally

When we were talking about relationships, a friend of mine said that if you are happy in life, people will inevitably want to share that with you. But if you are unhappy and are possibly looking for a relationship to magically fix everything, no one will want that kind of burden.

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## Beef Jerky

> Turn offs:
> 
> -umm... jewish :p



HAH! Also, Hermione is the least attractive of the four  :tongue2:

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## Forsaken Exposition

*Turn ons:*
-Sense of humor.
-Trustworthy.
-Talks more than me. (I'm not very talkative at all, so it's hard for me to conversate without a lot of input. )
-Intelligent. 
- Sarcasm. I love a little sarcasm.
-Good musical tastes. 


*Turn offs:*
*-*Assholes in general.
-Being much taller than me.
-Being much shorter than me. =p
-If they're very Stereotypical. (Like, after a minute of being around them you can neatly fit them into a stereotype.)
-Close-mindedness.
- Being stupid/dinky. You know, lack of common sense.
- Anorexic-like skinny.

(I'm gay, by the way. But I believe the list would remain the same if I were straight. )

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## Adam

> There might already be a thread on this, in which case I apologise, but I did a search and it didn't come up with anything.
> 
> O.k, so tell me what you look for and what you don't look for in a guy or girl, this could be personality and/or looks. 
> 
> Here's mine-
> 
> I'm a girl, and I'm straight, so...
> 
> *Turn On's*
> ...



Dont want a lot do you :p

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## Adam

I guess I should reply too.

*Turn Ons:*

IntelligenceWell spokenWell dressedCute looking rather than hard looking (if you know what I mean)Naturally beautiful, rather than requiring make-upBrunettes (Only been with one blonde)Trust worthyTrustingsensitiveSincereDevoted

*Turn Offs:*

Lier'sCheatersChavsPeople who txt speak (ow u doin m8, u cool innit)SmokingSwearingBigger girlsTonnes of make-upgirls who don't look after themselvesGirls with no direction or goalGirls who expect a man to pay for them all the time

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## pj

Turn Ons
Intelligence
Wit
Dry sense of humor
Sense of empathy
Concern for others and willing to help folk who need it
Forgiving
Happy with modest comfort and lifestyle
Strong sense of what is acceptable and willingness to stand up for herself
Takes care of herself - respects her body and mind.

Turn Offs
Arrogance
Gossiping
Narcissism
Extravagant lifestyle
Easily offended
Pushover
Self abuse through not taking care emotionally or physically

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