# Lucid Dreaming > DV Academy > Current Courses > DILD >  >  BehindTheDream's Workbook

## BehindTheDream

Hello everyone, I'm BehindTheDream and this is my third, albeit more serious attempt at Lucid Dreaming. 

I do have some "roadblocks" that may or may not affect my Lucid Dreaming practice. 
-I haven't been diagnosed but I do believe I have SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory refers to a lifelong inability to vividly recollect or re-experience personal past events from a first-person perspective,  they also struggled to imagine future events, consistent with the idea that memory and future imagination involve shared mental processes.) Not sure if this is a real issue but something to consider. 

-I also deal with Aphantasia (no minds eye) but I do dream (obviously), so no visualization techniques for me. 

-I also suffer from Fibromyalgia, which involves depression, chronic pain, fatigue cognitive and sleep issues (more on this in a bit) among others symptoms. I do have my sleeping under control for the most part due to medication. If I didn't take anything I'd only sleep two hours straight and be awake on and off the whole night until I got up in the morning. I spent 10 years of my life like that before I got diagnosed. I'm on remeron and I do use cannabis (I'm a MMJ patient w/card) as a pain/sleep aid, for some and definitely me, it is a dream killer. I do use a mantra to help remember my dreams and so far it has helped but it varies greatly) I try to stop medicating 2 hours before bed, I just have to make sure the last thing I take makes me sleepy. This all seems negative, but I don't take it as such.

I had one LD out of the blue about 4 years ago, it came at a very rough time in my life. I'm sure I had them as a kid, but those memories are lost. I got obsessed with LD'ng but that soon waned and my energy turned to "what is consciousness?" and meditation, then that question eventually lead me to Vedanta and Self Inquiry (Adi Shankaracharya tradition) taught by James Swartz who makes the vedic teachings more palpable to western minds. Thanks to that lucid dream, It put me on the "pathless path" to myself. Now 4 years later I'm in a much better place and a two months ago, the thought "I want to lucid dream" popped into my head. So here I am!

What I am doing: -I have been keeping a dream journal. I wake naturally throughout the night and if I remember a dream I will type it on my phone then later I write it into a paper journal. I keep a list of dream signs.

-I meditated for years daily but I stopped for a bit but now I'm back on the horse. I meditate at least 45 minutes a day, sometimes I will add more sessions depending how I feel. 

-Clarity has been an issue. My most clear/vivid LD has been that one 4 years ago. I'm trying to be more mindful and present during daily happenings, thats been a weak spot in my practice. With the body's issues, the mind tended to look for distractions, but I have been eliminating a good bit, especially during conversations and when I'm eating. 

-Awareness (different from mindfulness)  Being aware is your nature, if you know anything about Vedanta then you know that Awareness is always present and can't be negated, Your "I AMness" . You are not the three states of experience (the waker, the dreamer, and the deep sleeper) the states are in you. How you Awareness and the person you think you are (the body/mind/sense complex) and the world relate to each other is another big part of Vedanta, It's considered a full teaching, Self knowledge/God knowledge. God in Vedanta is just the Universe and the laws that govern it.  I'm not here to preach or debate about Vedanta, just showing you where I'm at. 

-I'm still deciding on my mantras, I've been using "After each dream, keep my eyes closed and remember my dreams". It works to varying degrees and it also unintendedly gave me a few DEILDS. Here's a post about it https://www.dreamviews.com/lucid-exp...cid-dream.html .Excuse the noobness!. I've also been going with "this is a dream" or "I'm dreaming" through out the day.

-RC/State tests need work. I have yet to find something that I mesh with. I either been messing with gravity or doing the nose hold. I tell myself This is a dream! then I ask Where am I?, What I'm doing?, What was I doing before? or Anything look odd, out of place, is this dream like. 

-I read a lot when I get into a subject and I try to find genuine no nonsense information and I think I came to the right place. I've read a bunch of books, most of the main ones. I do notice the information does leak into my dreams or when I do get lucid, I will remember to try to stabilize or I can walk through walls if I'm trapped, also to keep my eyes closed when the dream starts breaking down to do a DEILD.

-My attitude is pretty good. I'm all up for suggestions. Sometimes I get annoyed that my recall sucked but the results of my actions aren't up to me so I get over it! I do the best I can with what I got.

I've had a bunch of successes in my two months of practice. One WILD and 5 DEILD (2 in one night, 3 on another night) Its funny because I wasn't even trying for these they just happened, read the link above, it explains it. Dream recall is much better, not great since I started. 

I guess that's it.

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## fogelbise

Welcome to the DILD workbooks BehindTheDream.

So you have DEILDs working for you, keep that up and it sounds like you would like to get DILDs going too, which often do come with an aha moment in my experience. Your list of dream signs can help, especially if you have any powerful ones (i.e. someone close who passed away showing up alive or anything that seems impossible in waking life). Do you have any like that?

Along with "I'm dreaming" I find "If this were a dream, I would..." and thinking of all the great things I could do. It seems to get my mind in the right place for thinking of these fantastic possibilities from within the dream, trying the thing and when it works that gives me the confirmation that I'm dreaming. It can be a fun practice. One example is being in traffic and thinking "If I were dreaming, I'd fly up and over this traffic. I'm not sure if you can imagine this with the road block you mentioned but perhaps you can think of how you could get to where you are going faster in my traffic example.

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## BehindTheDream

> Welcome to the DILD workbooks BehindTheDream.
> 
> So you have DEILDs working for you, keep that up and it sounds like you would like to get DILDs going too, which often do come with an aha moment in my experience. Your list of dream signs can help, especially if you have any powerful ones (i.e. someone close who passed away showing up alive or anything that seems impossible in waking life). Do you have any like that?
> 
> Along with "I'm dreaming" I find "If this were a dream, I would..." and thinking of all the great things I could do. It seems to get my mind in the right place for thinking of these fantastic possibilities from within the dream, trying the thing and when it works that gives me the confirmation that I'm dreaming. It can be a fun practice. One example is being in traffic and thinking "If I were dreaming, I'd fly up and over this traffic. I'm not sure if you can imagine this with the road block you mentioned but perhaps you can think of how you could get to where you are going faster in my traffic example.



Hey fogelbise, thanks for the reply. The DEILDS were happy accidents but I'll continue with that mantra in hopes for inducing more. My original plan was to start out with DILDS after getting some recall back. 

Two main dream signs are my deceased father and my dog (I also reality check if I see their pictures), they have been popping up more frequently. My old place of work or me forgetting/losing my cane ( I don't use it in the house only when i'm out so when I see it hanging around I've been doing a reality check.)

I've been doing those thought exercises during one of my meditations, when my mind is feeling good, but I may try it during a reality check as well. It's kinda lame that I can't imagine in pictures but I still enjoy thinking about it. Thanks for the suggestions!

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## BehindTheDream

Not too much to update on.

I've been keeping a steady bedtime schedule for the past two months. Getting to bed around 11 p.m. and usually getting up at 8 a.m.. 

When I first started using the mantra to remember dreams, it was working real well. I would remember 3, 4 sometimes 5 but it has now been hovering at 1.5 a night, there is some disappointment when I wake up but I can't complain since I wasn't remembering any before that. The results of my actions aren't up to me! 

I started adding thought exercises to one of my meditations involving frequent dream signs but fogelbise mentioned above to try it during an RC and I'll definitely give it a go.

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## fogelbise

Just checking in. I still come around every few weeks or so. Let me know if you are coming upon any questions.

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